Tag Archives: Westminster

Scones, Top

Venachar Lochside

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Standing on the south shore of Loch Venachar looking over the water to the restaurant/café that is Venachar Lochside, it looks very small. It’s a remote location set against the magnificent backdrop of Ben Ledi. A rather splendid and peaceful sight. Don’t be fooled, however, everything is not as it might seem! Below these tranquil waters lies a dreadful beast in the form of an evil waterhorse or kelpie. View of the Venachar Lochside café with gardens in foreground

Wood of lamentation

Many lochs have these creatures however the one in this loch is, by all accounts, in a league of its own. As a shapeshifter it can appear as a beautiful horse … or even a handsome man. It lures women and children into the water where it drags them under and devours them. Just along the road from the Venachar Lochside café is the woodland called Coille a’ Bhroin (wood of lamentation) which commemorates fifteen women and children who fell foul of this malicious kelpie. Picture of the outside seating area at Venachar Lochside overlooking the lochToday, there is a car park across the road from the wood, and few who sit in their cars gazing out across the loch have any idea of it’s dark secret.

Handsome man

Given the kelpie’s shape-shifting attributes, and with me being a handsome man, our only worry was that my entrance might spread alarm amongst those already in the café. No one paid a blind bit of notice! venachar-03Venachar Lochside has been here for almost exactly five years and is a family run concern. We have passed it on several occasions but this was to be our first visit. There is a large eating area downstairs with an open air deck right on the water. Upstairs there is a function room where you can get married if you want? With it being midweek in late October, we thought it would be quiet … but no, it was bustling.

Old fashioned guts

Two cheery young girls were doing a great job coping with the multitudes. It wasn’t long before we were seated and presented with our scones. Picture of our scones at the Venachar Lochside caféThey were excellent, and with a little jar of jam and a nice tub of cream we had no problem awarding a topscone. It’s just brilliant to see new businesses like this being made to work so well and thriving in relatively isolated areas like this. That has to be attributed to astute business acumen and good old-fashioned guts and determination.

False accusations

The Scottish government gets accused of being unbusinesslike for running up huge deficits. Yet, at the same time, it is required by law to balance the books every year. Something it has done each and every year of it’s existence. Maybe it’s the UK that has the deficit? The sign board outside the Venachar Lochside caféIt also gets criticism for not reducing this deficit, which considering control over: the minimum wage; VAT; corporation tax; fuel duty; oil revenues; immigration; tax avoidance and income tax personal allowances are all held at Westminster, is a pretty tall order. An impossible one.

However, the UK government was dragged kicking and screaming into devolution by the EU. Above all, Westminster never intended the Scottish parliament to be anything more than an expensive talking shop. In looking after the interests of Scotland however, we think that Holyrood takes it’s business very seriously indeed, so it is great to see it starting to by-pass London and open up new ventures directly with other EU countries.  Let’s hope they can be as half as successful as Venachar Lochside.

FK17 8HP          tel: 01877 330011        Venachar Lochside Restaurant

Ordinary, Scones

Inversnaid Hotel

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When Gerard Manley Hopkins, approached this hotel by boat in 1918 he was struck by the Arklet Falls on it’s right. He duly walked up the bank of the burn until he reached the high open ground and was so inspired he wrote a poem, imaginatively called ‘Inversnaid’. It’s a lovely poem, one of our favourites and the reason for our visit today. Retracing his steps, so to speak. The first verse starts at the waterfall as it drops into Loch Lomond then the following two verses illustrate the journey upwards to the high ground where he finishes with the fourth and wonderful final verse:The Arklet Falls at Inversnaid

What would the world be, once bereft
Of wet and of wildness? Let them be left,
O let them be left, wildness and wet;
Long live the weeds and the wilderness yet.

He was a religious man and he is looking at a scene, as he sees it, created by God. It was the Duke of Montrose though that created Inversnaid in 1790 as a hunting lodge, and in September 1869, Queen Victoria, who had been staying at Invertrossachs Lodge on Loch Vennacher, arrived here by horse drawn coach from Stronachlachar for a trip around the loch on the Prince Consort steamship. Even today this is a fairly tricky road to negotiate by car so goodness knows what it was like back then? She was particularly taken with the northern part of the loch with its views to the west … and why wouldn’t she be impressed?

View from Inversnaid Hotel across Loch Lomand to Ben Ime
Ben Ime in the middle distance with Ben Vorlich and the Loch Sloy hydro scheme to the right
Tarbert to Inversnaid

Nowadays, as the Inversnaid Hotel, it is almost exclusively used by bus parties and walkers on the West Highland Way.  As such it suffers in the same way as most hotels that specifically cater for this sort of custom. A bit soulless. Arriving, like Manley Hopkins by boat from Tarbert we were hoping to be inspired by scones as well as the scenery. View from Inversnaid Hotel across Loch Lomand to Ben ImeNo such luck! They didn’t look at all inspiring so we just shared one and our fears turned out to be totally justified. Edible, but only just. At least we were able to sit out on a beautiful day and admire the scenery.

Incidentally, the captain of our boat informed us about the pipes of the Loch Sloy Hydro Scheme. A major feature on the hill opposite. Nothing to do with Hydro. They are, in fact, part of a massive haggis factory buried deep in mountain. The means of delivery to the packing hall below at the lochside.

Scotland’s economy on its knees

We have no way of verifying this but it doesn’t seem any more far fetched than the recent GERS (Government Expenditure Review Scotland) figures. On the face of it, it is bad news. We spend much more than we bring in. You have to bear in mind that GERS was set up back in the day by Ian Lang specifically to counter nationalism so it is hardly likely to deliver good news. View into the sunlight down Loch LomondGERS does however benchmark against other countries of similar size and again we do rather badly by comparison. The trouble is that no one seems to ask how we got to this situation  … under Westminster management? It’s all supposed to be Scotland’s fault and prove that we could never ever ever be a viable independent nation. These benchmark countries would give their eye teeth for Scotland’s assets:

  • Norway is far more reliant on oil than Scotland, but is doing ok thank you very much.
  • Denmark would love to have whisky generating £120 of exports every second.
  • Belgium would love to have the Edinburgh Fringe, adding £261m to its economy.Interior of Inversnaid Hotel
  • Ireland would love to have Scotland’s online gaming industry, grown over 600% and potentially worth more than oil ever was.
  • Sweden would love to match Scotland educationally. According to the Office of National Statistics the adult population of Scotland is the most educated in the whole of Europe.
  • Finland would love to have Scotland’s tidal and wave energy potential, 25% of the entire EU.
The Problem

So what’s the problem? Let’s guess! Could it be the way we are governed? Surely not! Entrance to Inversnaid HotelAn independent Scotland would be sporting an embarrassingly large fiscal surplus. And now they want to drag us out of the EU? Yet still people cling to the illusion that we are “better together”. As someone as  eloquent as Manley Hopkins would say …. aaarrgghhh!

FK8 3TU      tel: 01877 386223       Inversnaid Hotel TA

 

Ordinary

Acoustic Café

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“Sounds like great coffee” … that’s the strap line for this latest addition to the Falkirk café scene, the Acoustic Café. Not sure what great coffee sounds like? Maybe it’s the deafening sound of their own coffee machine, it really is the loudest. However, we feel it probably indicates a bit of confused thinking around the concept of selling coffee and guitars together in the one place. Acoustic 07

So, is the Acoustic Cafe a coffee shop that sells guitars or a guitar shop that sells coffee, we’re not sure. It does not seem to do either particularly well … kind of falls between two stools, so to speak. As a guitar shop it has a good range of very nice guitars. All well and good you might think. We suspect, however, that more attention has been paid to this aspect of the business than the cafe side … and if anything it should be the other way round.

New startup

Some fundamentals are just not there; the coffee may sound great but what about the taste? It is not up to the standard of it’s near competitors. The staff are not trained to the same standard as it’s near competitors. The sole member of staff on two of our visits was unsure of just about everything. Worst of all, of course, the scones are decidedly average.Acoustic 06 Not home baked, a bit dry and powdery … nowhere near a topscone. On the up-side it has a nice funky interior which differentiates it from the rest and offers loads of potential. Also, it has only been in existence for a couple of months so maybe we should cut it some slack. If it can concentrate more on the cafe side of things we hope it goes on to make sweet music and  much better coffee and scones for many years to come.

More broken promises

Music to the ears! That’s what we call the Scottish Government’s stance in the negotiations with the U.K. government over settlement of the new fiscal framework for Scotland. Instead of giving the ‘sweeping new powers’ promised after the referendum, new powers will now have to be paid for through reduced funding. Not even vaguely in the spirit of the Smith Commission. Thank goodness for the SNP. If it had been up to a Labour led administration they would have undoubtedly rolled over to their London masters long ago. Scotland would be much worse off as a result.

Luthiers

To end on a high note, the Acoustic Café did manage to introduce a new word to our lexicon .. luthier; someone who makes or repairs stringed instruments, a service available through the cafe.Acoustic 04

FK2 7AS            tel: 01324 638297      Acoustic Cafe FB

self-service

The Scottish Parliament

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Well, well, well, look where we are. Once you have endured the airport style security this is quite a pleasant building to be in. Not grand and imposing like it’s southern counterpart, but friendly and, even with the slightly austere design, welcoming. It’s very much a talking shop, rather than a coffee shop (is there a difference). Although we have been here several times before it has never been when the Parliament has been in session. The hope was that today was to be one of glorious enlightenment .. and maybe a scone.Parliament 02

But, for the moment, never mind the controversies raging in the debating chamber, the entire history of the Scottish Parliament is highly controversial. In spite of the very British illusion of democracy embedded in the ‘Mother of Parliaments’ and all that, almost thirty years ago the EU found the UK to be one of the most undemocratic states in the EU. As a result the European Commission forced devolution on John Major’s government to try and create more localised accountability. Major hated the whole idea but was perhaps fortunate in being deposed and able to hand on the poisoned chalice to Tony Blair. He hated it just as much, if not more.

In fact he hated it so much that on the eve of the inauguration of the Scottish Parliament he secretly redrew the border between Scotland and England. It meant that the ownership of seven North Sea oil fields were transferred to England with  consequentially dramatic effects on each country’s GDP figures. Presumably it was in case the Scots got a bit above themselves.

Controversy also followed the construction program with an eventual cost overrun of almost £400m .. ouch!!

the foyer area
the foyer area

Designed by a Catalan architect, Enric Miralles, it has been described it as “a Celtic-Spanish cocktail to blow both minds and budgets. It doesn’t play safe, energetically mining a new seam of National Romanticism refined and reinterpreted for the twenty-first century”. Whatever, we rather like it.
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Rapprochement

The debating chamber is built above the public areas to remind those in it that they are only there at the behest of those below them. Not sure that bit is working too well but the theory is good. Parliament 05We already know that the First Minister is a dab hand at making scones but if the 129 MSPs had anything to do with the scones in the tearoom, there must have been some sort of cross party rapprochement. They were not too bad .. nowhere near topscone but quite good all the same. Pre-packaged jam; butter a bit too hard; on the expensive side for self-service. Perhaps a scone designed by a committee?Parliament 01

We listened with interest to a session in the chamber but much of it was fairly opaque. A plethora of acronyms, can make it difficult to follow proceedings if you are not familiar with each and every one. Nevertheless we did find it an enlightening experience and it was good to see it all in full flow.

Searching for democracy

You would think that with the formation of the Scottish Parliament that the UK democracy issue would have dramatically improved. It hasn’t. If anything this place is akin to a sticking plaster. Recently, 97% of Scottish MPs voted against bombing Syria, but you all know what happened there. There are countless examples like this; nuclear weapons; the EU; trade union laws; the Scotland Bill; human rights; tax credits, where the Scottish voice matters not a jot. If you live in Scotland it is almost pointless voting. Parliament 09 Any system where one set of MPs is outnumbered 12 to 1 is self evidently flawed and certainly not geared to Scotland’s best interests.

If Scotland were not in a union with England and the top 100 UK secondhand car salesmen were given the task of selling the current union deal to the Scottish electorate they would not have a snowball’s. On top of all this the current government is intent on reducing our democracy even further. Chipping away at trade unions and eroding our human rights. They might as well be open about it and hand the whole thing over to the corporates and banksters who actually run everything at the moment. It’s enough to make you choke on your committee scone!

EH99 1SP       tel: 0131 348 5200       The Scottish Parliament

Ordinary

The Corinthian

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The Corinthian Club is a large complex of highly decorative rooms dating back to it’s original incarnation as the Glasgow and Ship Bank in 1842. Since then it has seen several different uses but has been the rather swanky Corinthian since 2010. It consists of several function rooms, dining rooms, a casino and the Tellers Bar where we were ensconced. Corinthian 04

Afternoon tea?

This is a big operation and  they can probably do many things extremely well however our order for coffee and scones tested them to the absolute limit. They simply could not get their head round the fact that we did not want afternoon tea. Every time we asked for coffee and scones they offered us afternoon tea and when we explained that we just wanted coffee and scones they would say “absolutely no problem”. However, we had to go through this process at least six times with different people .. aarrgghh! Eventually the penny dropped and quite quickly the coffee arrived … but no scones.

It gave us time to look around at the rather splendiferous surroundings. More than twenty minutes later however, having observed every nook and cranny, and just as we were about to get up and leave, they arrived. Apparently there was a technological problem in the kitchen?? Fresh coffee was brought along with profuse apologies. By this time, of course, our dander was well and truly up. Corinthian 05

We had already decided that this was the last place on earth to get anywhere near a topscone award .. but, damn it, the scones were extremely good! Two plain and two cinnamon and all of them  just right. Warm and crunchy on the outside, soft in the middle, lovely jam and cream. How utterly annoying? In normal circumstances we would have had no problem with a topscone award however there are only so many allowances you can make. So, although we thoroughly enjoyed them, they were disqualified due to technological problems .. heyho.

Let the politicians do the fighting

Technological problems cannot be blamed for us heading off to war in yet another country. Sheer warmongering stupidity. Perhaps it makes no difference. In the past fifty years, 1968 has been the only year that Britain has not been at war with somebody. At the grand old age of 111, Harry Patch, the last surviving soldier of WW1 summed it up very well “I felt then, as I feel now, that the politicians who took us to war should have been given the guns and told to settle their differences themselves, instead of organising nothing better than legalised mass murder”.

the Flying Scotsman room
the Flying Scotsman room
Back to basics

Scones should be a small test for a place like this. For all its grandeur, we think the Corinthian Club needs to pay more attention to a few basics.

G1 1DA       tel: 0141 552 1101     Corinthian Club

Scones, self-service

St Mungo Museum

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This place, St Mungoi Museum of Religious Life, is very familiar. We both used to work in the adjacent Glasgow Royal Infirmary which you can see in the background on the left.

cafe area at the Museum of Religious L:ife, Glasgow
cafe area

We would sometimes come here for lunch if we wanted a change of scene. Also to look at Salvador Dali’s, Christ of St John of the Cross, bought by Glasgow in the 50s and now estimated to be worth in excess of £60m. Apparently Dali wanted £12,000 but Glasgow made him an offer he couldn’t refuse – £8,200 .. we dread to think. Didn’t see it this time though as it has been moved to the city’s Kelvingrove Gallery. The museum itself is interesting. It was built in 1989  and designed to reflect the architecture of the Bishops’ Castle which stood on this site in the 17th century. It aims to bring together differing faith systems and promote greater understanding.

Zen

It has Britain’s first zen garden and a Clooty Tree, which we always thought was a solely Tibetan tradition. Apparently, though, it is also Scottish, dating back to pre-Christian times. We don’t know of anywhere else where you can see so many works of art and other artefacts brought together from the six big religions: Islam, Hinduism, Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism and Sikhism. All sitting side by side, displaying the huge diversity of belief systems. Also the extraordinary lengths believers go to in creating these amazing artefacts. Each and every one designed to appeal to hearts and minds.

Nicola Sturgeon, a well known sconey, was after hearts and minds yesterday as she delivered her keynote speech to the SNP conference. A speech that the leaders of other parties must have wished they could have delivered. One of strength and unity. A scone at the Museum of Religious Life in GlasgowSince this place is all about understanding we wonder at the lack of understanding from Westminster for Scotland’s desire to simply stand on it’s own two feet. It’s not such a big ask, surely? Okay, okay, what about the scones?

Well the café area is pleasant enough and in keeping with the architecture of the rest of the building. Their scones, however,(bought in) are best described as ‘ordinary’. Don’t let that put you off visiting the museum.

part of the zen garden
part of the zen garden

G4 0RH       tel: 0141 276 1625      Museum of Religious Life & Art

Ordinary, Scones

The Tyndrum Inn

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Tyndrum is probably most famous for gold mining and the Green Welly Stop. At a fork in the road, it is always busy with traffic either heading west to Oban or north to Fort William. The West Highland Way provides a steady stream of walkers all year round. The Tyndrum Inn sits along side the Green Welly and provides accommodation as well as all the usual things you would expect from a small hotel.

We found it a little odd from many points of view. It did not look like a self-service kind of place .. but it was. You ordered your scone at the bar and then took your seat wherever that happened to be. As things, like your scone, appeared on the bar you had to go and collect it. The same for your tea or coffee. The order did not appear in one go so several trips were involved just to get a scone and some coffee .. odd. We are sure it would have been just as quick to bring it to the table as dump it on the end of the bar. IMG_8254

That said our home-baked scone was actually quite good. However the Inn in general looked as if was in need of some serious investment. Until that happens we will not be rushing back.

Serious investment is also needed in the Scotland Bill which gets its second reading today at Westminster. The Smith Commission proposals are way too little. If they try to force it through they might as well give up on the Union. Scotland voted for something else completely. Would they be that stupid? Think they might be. Fluffy Mundell has just announced a £170m cut in the previously agreed Scottish budget. Tories in Scotland seem to be on some sort of suicide mission.

FK20 8RY       tel:01838 400219        Tyndrum Inn

Ordinary, Scones

Inchbae Lodge

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This place is interesting. A young couple from the North of England have had it about 7 months. Through the winter, they have managed to transform it into a pleasant guest house and bar/café. Previously, it had become very run down and attracted some pretty poor reviews. Now, however, it’s a fresh start and you cannot help but wish them all the luck in the world

Inchbae Lodge is on the road to Ullapool out of Garve and it would not be unreasonable to describe it as being ‘in the middle of nowhere’. Far from being a disadvantage this could be exactly what many people are looking for so lets hope that their first summer season is a good one. Unfortunately, when we arrived we seemed to be the only people around.

This may be due to the fact that we drove past it before we realised what we had done. We had to stop and turn back. Maybe a few more road signs notifying drivers in advance would help? Anyway we were made to feel very welcome as were ushered into a very comfortable conservatory at the back of the Lodge to await our scones and coffee. A scone at Inchbae Lodge

Now here I have to say that I really really wish this review could be better. However, when our scone arrived it was of the bought-in variety. It tasted ok but  the cream that came with it was aerosol ‘scooshie. As a result  it fairly quickly turned to watery white liquid in the  warmth of the conservatory.  In spite of these things it was pleasant to relax in the coziness and catch up with the news.

Outnumbered

What oh what is happening in the election? It seems that the  party with ‘Unionist’ in its title is determined to break the Union apart with their proposals for English only votes for England. If I was being kind I would say that they simply have not thought the scheme through. If I was being unkind I would say that they are trying to undermine basic fundamental democracy and becoming more nationalist than the nationalists. Either way it can only end up in tears for the Union.

Don’t they realise that according to Parliament’s own figures Scottish MPs traditionally only have a deciding effect on  0.06% of parliamentary business. In other words, in the past Scottish MPs may as well not have bothered. That figure will probably not hold true after this election but it will still remain that Scottish MPs are vastly outnumbered by English ones, as has always been the case. So what on earth are they on about?

SNP to the rescue

In the meantime it looks as if you will have to vote SNP to save the Union.  It’s a mad world! We feel that our English friends at Inchbae Lodge need to find a way of tapping into the large visitor numbers at Rogie Falls. It’s just down the road and there’s nothing in the way of cafe facilities that we could see. We wish them every good fortune but ditch the scooshie cream!

IV23 2PH      tel: 01997 455070     www.inchbaelodge.com

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Blossom’s Bistro

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Blossom’s is situated within the ever popular Torwood Garden Centre at Larbert between Falkirk and Stirling. Like the Centre itself the bistro is big, over 200 seats. Now you would not normally go to a garden centre specifically for a scone but at this time of year garden centres are going to be hard to avoid. You may as well try a scone at the same time. Internal view of Blossoms Bistro, TorwoodI have to say that Blossoms tries really hard and for the most part succeeds. There is a wide range of food on offer.

They even do an afternoon tea with generous helpings of sandwiches, cakes, scones, tea or coffee for £15 … for two people! Don’t think you can do much better than that! No surprise then that it’s a busy place, We suspect that many folk just come to the Bistro without going out to the plant area. They also support Central Arts.  An organisation of local artists, displaying and selling their artworks to benefit various charities. Highly commendable!

A Parliament of scones

It’s a beautiful warm day but I gather that some folks are getting a bit overheated regarding the upcoming election. Let’s look at it sensibly! Lets imagine Parliament being made up of scones. There would be about 650 plain ones, some of them pretty half baked. There would be another 900 or so fruit ones in ‘the other place’. All of them are half baked and we don’t really need them at all. A scone at Blossoms Bistro, TorwoodAt this point in time, before the election, all 650 of the plain scones have been discarded … binned. We only have the 900 fruit ones. Now much as I like a fruit scone many of these are well past their sell-by but there is no way of getting rid of them. Even the pigeons won’t take them.

No worries though, on May 7th, a new batch of plain scones will appear from all over the UK and normality should then be restored. However, the problem this time around seems to be with the Scottish scones. Seen by some, to be of inferior quality, hard to digest and best ignored if possible. Of course this in turn would be tricky for Scottish people to digest  because they  will have gone to a lot of trouble to make them and they know their scones are as good as any.

There are scones and scones

The democratic process that produced all these scones used to see them all as equal but maybe not anymore. Us sconeys have known for a long time that scones are not all equal, far from it. The scones we had in Blossom’s Bistro were better than expected but maybe tasted a little bit floury and slightly more cakeish than we would have liked. Nevertheless we enjoyed them, the coffee was also good, the service was very helpful and friendly. All in all, very good value for money. More than can be said for those in Parliament.

FK5 4EG          tel: 01324 557710         Blossoms Garden Centre