Tag Archives: Westminster

Scones, topbagnascone, topweird

Callendar House 3

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We’ve reviewed the scones at Callendar House twice before,  once in 2015 and again in 2017. With a seven year gap we thought readers  would be ready for an update.

Wall covering in Callendar House
Wall covering in the tearoom

Callendar House, which used to be owned by the Forbes family, lies about a hundred yards south of the Antonine Wall which the Romans built all the way across Scotland. It formed the northern edge of their Empire. The southern edge was bounded by Arabia and the Sahara desert. They regarded everything south of the Antonine Wall as “civilised” and everything north as “barbaric and more bother than it’s worth”. The Romans are long gone but that view hasn’t changed much over the intervening two millennia. FYI, our house lies on the civilised side … obviously!

Dangers of crinoline dresses

Actually, we just decided to take a walk round the small loch that lies to the east of the house. Something we hadn’t done in a long time. Back in the day, all grand houses had a loch of their own and it wasn’t simply a conceit on the part of the owners. In the absence of any kind of organised public fire fighting service a loch was seen as essential as a readily available water supply in the event of an inferno.

Probably not much use when people like Oliver Cromwell were deliberately trying to set fire to the place but even in peace times, conflagrations  were seen as relatively likely given the number of ladies in crinoline dresses swishing about in front of open fires under a multitude of candelabras. Of course, even if you had your own loch, it would still have been difficult if there was only you and a bucket. You needed servants and lots of them but, of course, that wasn’t a problem for the aristocracy.

Gentrification

If you’ve ever had ambitions, or even just wondered how to become an aristocrat perhaps we can help.  Back in 1783 Callendar House and the Estate that encompassed most of Falkirk was being sold by auction. The Earl of Errol (an oven ready aristocrat) had high ambitions at the auction but was eventually outbid by an upstart scrap merchant, one William Forbes, from Aberdeen. Eyebrows were raised. Not only that, in true scrap merchant style, he pulled the cash from his hip pocket and paid for it on the spot. Subsequently he became Sir William Forbes, 1st Lord of Callendar … and that’s how you join the aristocracy. Common as muck one day and a Knight of the Realm the next! Probably wasn’t quite like that but you catch our drift.Internal view of Callendar House

A new experience

Although Callendar House is pretty much in the centre of Falkirk most towns folk had never been anywhere near it. The Forbes kept it very private. However, in 1963 the local Council took it over, opened it up to the public and established a cafe for non-aristocrats like ourselves. After our walk it was nice to get inside and settle down with some coffee. And we could either have a plain or, surprise, surprise, a milk chocolate and strawberry scone. In the interests of expanding  reader’s sconological knowledge we rather tentatively opted for the latter.

View from tearoom in Callendar House
View from the tearoom


On previous visits we have been quite critical of this tearoom. To us, it never seems to ever reach its full potential. We could still level that accusation now but at least on this occasion there were staff on hand and we were attended to promptly and quite pleasantly if not smilingly.  Still no cream but the scone itself was really nice … no crunchiness but fresh and moist. With this combination there was really no need for jam or cream, it was delicious just with a little butter. A topweird scone!

Provost lamps at Callendar House
Newly refurbished cast iron Provost lamps installed at the back of the house
Agreements

In 1565 the marriage agreement between Mary Queen of Scots and the French Dauphin, Francis was signed in Callendar House. External view of Callendar HouseIt provided that Scotland and France should eventually be united as one kingdom,  We all know how that went. Since then Scotland has been in Europe and then back out again … better to hold onto something if you are starting to feel a bit dizzy. Westminster has now reached some sort of agreement in N.Ireland to restore power-sharing at Stormont. It seems Westminster is going to try to persuade the EU that nothing has changed and that N. Ireland is still in the EU rather than the UK while simultaneously persuading everyone else of the opposite. With Westminster’s well honed skills in duplicity, they may well succeed!

FK1 1YR          tel: 01324 503775         Callendar House Tearoom

///wishes.dozen.parks

Ordinary, Scones

Alianti Bonne Bouche

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You can probably tell that with a highfalutin name like Alianti Bonne Bouche that we are not in Scotland any more. We’re in London imposing on family. Even down here though the name is a bit confusing! Bonne Bouche kind of means ‘tasty bite’. We can go with that but Alianti is Italian for ‘gliders’ … no comprendes!Internal view of Alianti in Richmond

Confusion

Actually this place is confusing and it’s not just the name. There are no toilet or hand washing facilities and in our old fashioned naive  kind of way we thought that that wasn’t allowed these days. An enquiry about these facilities elicits a brusque “don’t have any” from the unsurprisingly surly and cross legged staff. Things were not getting off to the best of starts. There were two scones on the counter and that was it. She said “we don’t have cream but there’s strawberry jam. Would we like that?” Rather than just have a dry scone we replied in the affirmative. Then she added “There’s butter as well. Would we like that?” Boy, they really know how to show people a good time down here! To be fair, she did offer to toast the scones which was great because they looked at least a couple of days old.

External view of Alianti in Richmond
Paved Court leads to Ted Lasso’s flat and the pub used in the TV series

On the upside, it was a lovely day so we sat out in Paved Court which isn’t a ‘court’, more a narrow  little lane that runs down the side of the cafe. Is there no end to the confusion? A scone at Alianti in RichmondFrom a sconological point of view, suffice to say that this experience was just a whisker short of catastrophic. The coffee was nice but other than that there was nothing to commend it. If we were ever to return they would have to drop the ‘bonne bouche’ and have a large illuminated sign advertising their brand spanking new toilets. We are not holding our breath!.

She asked!

Our sojourn at Alianti was actually very enjoyable. Nothing to do with the fare we are served but a lot to do with the two ladies sitting at the next table. They were great fun! One was from Germany but had spent most of her life in the US. She was keen to know why Scotland wanted to separate from England. So many reasons … where to start?

Internal view of Alianti in Richmond
Interior of Alianti

Norway has just published that they expect to get £120 billion in tax revenues from North Sea oil in 2023. Scotland has the same amount of oil but gets nothing … it all goes to Westminster. They then waste it on vanity projects in London. Then there’s the lies. Not little porky pie type lies but great big humungous lies. Obviously not big enough to embarrass Boris Johnson, no lies are that big but big nevertheless!

In 2014 we had the referendum on Scottish independence. We were told then that there was only a dribble of oil left. Hardly enough to last the year. Never mind the green issues, a couple of weeks ago Rishi Sunak issued 100 brand new drilling licences with hundreds more to follow. There’s loads of oil! In 2014 we were told that the only way Scotland could stay in the EU was to stick with England. Two years later Brexit ensured that Scotland was dragged, kicking and screaming, out of the EU.

Two Carron K6s with Ted Lasso's pub in the background
At the other end of Paved Court, two cast iron telephone kiosks made in Falkirk with Ted Lasso’s pub in the background,

Also, never mind that Scotland has a devolved government that wants independence or that almost all the Westminster MPs who represent Scotland also want independence, it doesn’t make the slightest difference. All the important powers are retained by England. We could have gone on: the BBC, monarchy, land ownership, the Barnett formula but by this time she was wishing she had never asked!

Morality?

Economics are all well and good but for us it’s simply a moral question. Why should one country be able to deny another country the right to determine its own future. It’s equivalent to Canada having to ask permissions from the US. Canadians would tolerate that for slightly less than a split nanosecond! 

We bade farewell to our new enlightened friends and headed off in search of a real bonne bouche!

TW9 1NF      tel: 020 8332 2001         Alianti

///saying.sport.manliness

Ordinary, Scones

Café Riva

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Cafe Riva at Inverkip Marina takes its name from the classic Riva Aquarama speedboat which although it went out of production in 1999 is still much sought after by the rich and famous.. Riva Aquarama speedboat My experiences on the ocean wave, however, weren’t nearly so high powered or spritely!

Love, hate

Being here is a bit of a nostalgia trip. For quite a few years I would be leaving from here on a 34ft Westerly Falcon called Brizo. Six knots was the maximum speed and we didn’t hit that very often. Having said that, we did once manage an exhilarating 14 knots but only with the help of the infamous Corryvreckan whirlpool. The boat was owned by a syndicate, all of whom lived down south. Being the only relatively local person, I was called upon every other weekend  to crew with whichever member of the syndicate’s turn it was to have the boat.  With seven berths there were many happy adventures exploring the coastlines of Scotland and Ireland. For me personally it was a love hate relationship. I was always fine on board until we left the marina whereupon I would promptly be sick … never ever found my sea legs!Inverkip Marina

Always worth it in the end though. Some great trips as far as Orkney and St Kilda in some fantastic company. A scone at Café Riva

Closing time

The marina has got bigger since these days and Café Riva is one of the new additions. We had the misfortune to arrive fifteen minutes before closing. A scone at Café RivaThe tables and chairs were already being taken in. Somewhat grudgingly they agreed to provide us with a scone and some tea. The fact that we couldn’t sit inside wasn’t a problem since the day was a bit cloudy but lovely and warm. Our tea and scone was plonked on our table without ceremony. The scone in a paper bag and the tea in cardboard cups. By now, you have probably guessed that this was never going to be a topscone. But we enjoyed sitting there watching the rest of the tables and chairs disappearing inside. External view of Café Riva

Nightmares

In our previous post from Helensbank we mentioned the plight of the five people stuck in a mini-submarine near the wreck of the Titanic. Barak Obama rightly questioned the wall to wall media coverage it was getting. Of course, we now know it resulted in the sad loss of all five lives. Obama was comparing it to the comparatively scant coverage given to the loss of 700 lives in a fishing boat off the coast of Italy. Both were tragedies for everyone involved. We think, however, the uneven coverage was probably due to a basic human condition. Being trapped in a cold dark place for days on end simply waiting for your oxygen to run out relates to peoples most base fears … the stuff of nightmares. The Mediterranean tragedy wasn’t relatable in quite the same way.Logo of Café Riva

Just outside Café Riva was this intriguing sculpture which we could also relate to. On the little plaque it said “Sometimes We Get It Right”Sometimes we get it right

Promising signs .. or not?

Elsewhere, part of Russia’s army, the infamous Wagner Group seems to be in a state of mutiny. However, they probably haven’t fully reckoned in dealing with a duplicitous Moscow. Similarly Humza Yousaf, First Minister of Scotland, has just published his road map to Scottish Independence. However, we think he probably hasn’t fully reckoned with the duplicitous parcel of rogues at Westminster.

PA16 0AW        tel: 01475 789850        Café Riva

///equality.brisk.roofs

 

Scones, topweird

Hirsel Cottage Tearoom

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Logo of The Hirsel EstateWhen Harold McMillan had to resign due to ill health in 1963 he was controversially succeeded as PM by Sir Alec Douglas-Home, 14th Earl of Home (pronounced Hume). The 3000 acre Hirsel Estate near Coldstream has been the family home since 1611. It wasn’t very long ago that, in the UK, you weren’t allowed to vote if you didn’t own land … preferable great swathes of it. As an aristocrat Sir Alec spent his life being showered by honours and gifts. His tenure as PM lasted less than a year, though compared to recent incumbents of the post, that’s a long time.

External view of the Hirsal
Photo of the Hirsel by Stephen Whitehorne. It’s not open to the public

So here we were driving past the wall that surrounds the estate. Pat had noted that there was a tearoom so we thought we should investigate. We went in through a typically large estate gate and then drove for what seemed like miles on a tiny little road with no signs indicating a cafe or anything else for that matter.  Eventually, we had to stop and ask a man with a leaf blower. It seems obvious now but we had come in through the wrong gate … what are we like? Never mind, eventually we made it to the Hirsel Cottage Tearoom.

The tearoom is part a group of buildings that form a kind of arts and crafts centre. There’s a pottery, a glass studio and a nice little museum. When we walked in we got a lovely warm welcome but the first thing we noticed was this.Scones at the cafe at the Hirsal

A bit odd

They had two different kinds … lemon and blueberry and spiced mixed fruit. … ooo! Pat opted for the latter so I went for the other. 

Scones at the cafe at the Hirsal

Quite big for our taste but both were very nice. They came nicely presented with butter, cream and jam. Pat’s was beautifully spiced and mine was very moist as you might expect from a lemon and blueberry combo. Slightly odd scones perhaps but we thought they were very worthy of a topweirdscone. Well done the Hirsel Cottage Tearoom.Internal view of the cafe at the Hirsal

Ownership?

The Hirsel Estate runs right down to the River Tweed. It made us think that it’s not only scones that can be weird, people are weird as well. They get very upset about land ownership. When we obtain land almost the first thing we do is build walls or borders to keep others out.  Don’t think that there is any other member of the animal kingdom that behaves quite like this. Swallows and Wildebeest just go wherever suits them. It can get ugly, just look at  Ukraine!

We say ‘border, you say ‘boundary’

When you stand on the banks of the Tweed and look across the twenty or so yards of slowly flowing water all you can see is England. At this point the the border runs down the middle of the river … weird. Unionists, of course, like to call it the “boundary”. Calling it a “border” would imply that Scotland might actually be a country in its own right. Gosh, the power of words!

We mention this only because the former Labour Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, was wheeled out again this week. This is a sure sign that Westminster feels the Union is in some sort of danger. Last time he appeared was back in 2014 during the Scottish Independence Referendum. All the panicking Unionist parties appointed him as their spokesman with a single remit “save the Union”.

Promises, promises!

Back then they all agreed to “the Vow” which promised that if Scotland wanted to stay in the EU, it had to vote no to independence. It also promised Home Rule … according to Gordon,  the next best thing to independence. That, of course, begged the question “why not just go for the best thing?” In the end it wasn’t worth the paper it was written on. Will we see submarines patrolling the Tweed?

TD12 4LW       tel: 01890 883645.        Hirsel Cottage FB

///boil,fatter.repayment

ps: We are indebted to our Marco Island correspondents for this photo of Sconehenge. There’s nothing we can say except we thought, for the sake of structural strength, they would have chosen plain scones!picture of Sconehenge

 

Ordinary, Scones

The Venue

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We are on the golf course today! Now those of you who know us are aware that that statement is nonsense. The Venue at the Braes Golf Centre is only a couple of miles from home yet we had never heard of it. Braes Golf Centre logoIn our defense, there are some mitigating circumstances. Until recently it was called Polmont Golf Course and it has moved from where it used to be. It is now located in Maddiston on the the high ground to the south of Falkirk. So they’ve moved it and changed the name … it’s almost as if they are trying to avoid us! It only came onto our radar because our Trossachs correspondents visited the Venue recently and were impressed with what was going on.

view of Braes Golf Centre
Work in progress, the course is yet to mature properly
Work in progress

The title picture is taken from the car park and as you can see the Venue is not exactly a thing of beauty. In fact, when we got chatting to the new owner, Steve Matthews, he called it a carbuncle. Steve is a brave guy. He has rescued the golf club mid-pandemic and has big plans to make it a goto golf destination. In the meantime it’s a work in progress.

External view of Braes Golf CentreInside there is a nice restaurant but because it was quite a good day we opted for the outdoor area. It is set up with picnic table type seating and has a couple of gazebos in case the weather should become inclement … perish the thought! It is located on top of a hill and Steve told us that there used to be three gazebos but the day before, one blew away. Now we understood  why there’s a huge windmill towering over the whole course.

Surprising

Obviously we were not here for the golf but on the way through the restaurant we did get our eye on some scones. a scone at Braes Golf CentreSteve had told us that, because they don’t have a full staff, they only had one chef and he was on a couple of days off. All they could do was coffee and cakes. A delightful young waitress looked after us and before long our scone arrived. Now we knew before we started that this was never going to be a topscone; no chef, so not particularly fresh; no cream and no Scottish butter. In addition we suspected that the apricot jam wasn’t from Scotland either!? Having said all that however, it was all surprisingly good.

If the welcome and the almost palpable energy is anything to go by The Venue and the Braes Golf Centre will be firmly back on the map very soon. We wish Steve and his team all the luck in the world.

External view of Braes Golf Centre
The Venue, from one the nine holes at the Braes Golf Centre
Save Scotland

Well the results of the Scottish elections are in and independence supporting parties now have a big majority at Holyrood. Will this make any difference? Of course not! The UK is now to be held together by force of law rather than consent. Westminster will not give the Scottish people a say in their own destiny. Apparently it is for our own good because we would never be able to manage our £40 billion deficit! This from a government with a  £2 trillion deficit.

Also, in spite of having 32% of the land and most of the natural resources we are too small to survive on our own. And in spite of having some of the best universities in the world we are also too stupid.  Thank goodness we have the BBC and Boris to save us from ourselves. Who would have thought that the fate of Scotland and its people would lie squarely in the hands of a super wealthy, over privileged blubbering idiot who is too frightened to even visit Scotland. Really, you couldn’t make it up!view of Braes Golf Centre

Scones, Top

Scone 54

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Now, you may be puzzled by the Scone 54 title of this post? Let us explain. We don’t normally get personal in this blog … except of course with eejits like Johnson and Cameron. Normally we try and keep things fairly anonymous because after all this is a serious, insightful, hard hitting blog that politicians and shoddy sconeries have come to fear! Yeah right! However, on this occasion we are prepared to make an exception. This is a little bit personal but, we’ll hope you agree, for a valid reason.

Good friends, A&A (we’ll keep it slightly anonymous), were celebrating their 54th wedding anniversary and as a result  invited us round to their house  for a cream tea. Now do you get the Scone 54 title?

Lucky, lucky lucky

We thought about the invitation for all of what must have been a fraction of a nanosecond … a no-brainer! What an achievement!  Not many people get the pleasure of spending this amount of time with their loved ones. Having said that, all our friends have been married for what seems like all of their lives a

54th wedding anniversary
scones al fresco

nd they are, without exception, very happy. Not sure if that says anything about our generation or the times we were brought up in but probably not. We have all just been very lucky with our partners.  At 54 years, however, A&A are leading the charge . I am reluctant to say that I was their best man because it reveals my age as being greater than mid fifties … but I was!

Scotland is having wonderful weather for April so we sat in the their back garden (COVID rules still don’t allowed us to have friends indoors) and were treated to homemade scones served with strawberry jam and lots of cream … oh, and bubbles. Can you think of a better way to spend an afternoon?54th wedding anniversary

The scones were definitely topscones … and we are not just saying that out of politeness to A&A. Just the right size, slightly crunchy exterior and wonderfully soft interior. In fact, everything was perfect.

54 at 54

54th wedding anniversary By the time we had eaten all the scones and drunk all the bubbles we wanted to carry on so Pat  invited everyone round to ours for a BBQ. That went on until well after dark and many sausages and burgers were dispatched in the process. The culmination was a marshmallow toasting session over the fire.

A fantastic way to celebrate a fantastic achievement with fantastic friends. If you are wondering what 54 years of  togetherness, making and eating scones looks like, look no further. Many thanks A&A.
54th wedding anniversary

Because Scone 54 is more of a personal post we thought we might leave the politics off to one side for a change. Then we thought that A&A would definitely prefer us to take a potshot at Boris & Co.

Westminster now seems to be abandoning the voluntary nature of the Act of Union that currently binds the four distinct parts of the UK together. It has done for over 300 years. Now they are thinking of bringing in legislation to make it illegal to have a referendum on Scottish Independence until Westminster thinks it’s a good idea … in other words, sometime never! The Union will be maintained by force of law. The people of Scotland won’t have a say in their own future. That’s UK democracy! Au contraire Boris,  the Scottish people will have their say and you better believe it. With a bit of luck you will go down in history as the man who broke the Union! Okay, that’s it, another marshmallow please.

Ordinary, Scones

Kerrera Tea Garden – Again

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The government’s Department of Weasel Words has gone into overdrive trying to justify their pathetic response to coronavirus and the BBC has taken to only reporting on NHS England. Should we be surprised? Well, back in 2018, we were at the Kerrera Tea Garden and as you will see we were still smarting from being cheated out of Scotland’s independence in 2014. The defeat was brought about by a coalition of Labour, Conservative and media lies. What really surprised us the most was that we were surprised. We knew they could stoop very low, just not that low. Anyway, let’s go back two years.

When it comes to Scottish Independence many people who voted NO in the 2014 referendum have been posting on social media “My Journey to YES”. Well, this is similar but, of course, it’s more “Our journey to a SCONE”! Let us explain. Some scones can be relatively difficult to come by but that is generally down to cost e.g. Claridges, the Connaught, rather than geographical location.

Gallanach Ferry from the Isle of Kerrera
Gallanach Ferry only takes 12 people, no cars. If you are number 13 you have to wait for it to come back. We had to wait for it to come back three times

Getting there

Getting to the Kerrera Tea Garden, however, involves a road trip to Oban, a passenger ferry and then an hour’s walk over rough hill track. That’s just to get there … and the same back! Signpost for the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of KerreraThere is nothing along the way other than sheep but luckily they have easy to follow signposts to guide the weary traveller. Although the day was quite cloudy it was hot so by the time we came on that last sign we were extremely relieved. Stomach and arthritic joints were screaming for sustenance and rest. External view of the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of Kerrera

The Kerrera Tea Garden is exactly what it says. A fairly large garden in which there are lots of tables where you can sit and have tea. If the weather ever gets inclement, perish the thought, there is the Byre, a rustic but charming converted cowshed.

Inside the Byre at the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of Kerrera
The Byre

Sacre Bleu

We were attended to by a very mannerly young chap who was obviously not a local. He was from Singapore and was studying law in London. Goodness knows how he found his way here for a summer job? A scone at the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of KerreraThe scones are made fresh every morning so after a light lunch we thought they should be sampled. We couldn’t come all this way and not sample the scones after all! Unfortunately, they were a tad disappointing. Just a little on the solid side and with a slightly sweet taste that wasn’t to our liking. They weren’t bad but not a topscone. Pity, because everything else about this place is fantastic. If you ever get the chance you should definitely visit, it’s worth the effort.

When we arrived there was a party of six French folks who were explaining that they just wanted coffee because they had their own sandwiches … mais non, sacre blue, mon Dieu! Perhaps it is just as well we are leaving the EU! They were politely told to take themselves off to yonder distant hill to have their picnic. When we were leaving they were making their way back for their coffee and didn’t seem at all putout. The Auld Alliance is intact!

View of Gylen Castle on the Isle of Kerrera
The ruined Gylen Castle overlooking the Firth of Lorne

We finished off our visit with the short walk from the Tea Garden to Gylen Castle which sits on the southern tip of the island. It was built in 1582 by the Clan MacDougall but was besieged then burned by Covenanters in 1647.  Ironically the siege was successful because of a shortage of water. The castle’s spring was insufficient in the prevailing dry spell so the MacDougalls surrendered. The same would have happened today where we have almost forgotten what rain looks like! When William Turner visited in 1831, he was fascinated by the ruin and made several sketches of the castle which are now in London’s Tate Gallery.

View of Ben Cruachan from the Isle of Kerrera
Looking east with twin peaks of Ben Cruachan in the middle distance

Sheep talk

On our return walk to the ferry we were almost deafened at one point by sheep talking to each other. Their exact words were “baa, baa, baa, baa, baa.” The noise was incredible! We came to the conclusion that they must have been discussing the effects of Brexit on the Common Agricultural Policy. They were making much more sense than our Westminster parliamentarians! After Trump’s visit to see May in London and Putin in Helsinki, I said to Pat “I think Trump’s a very clever man“, then, when I saw the look on her face, had to explain that I had misspoken and what I actually meant to say was that he was a complete and utter idiot.

Ex KGB, Vladamir Putin is beginning to look like the only sane politician around and that says something! Our “journey to a scone” was one of the most enjoyable in a long time. A big fat YES to the Kerrera Tea Garden.Logo for the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of Kerrera
PA34 4SX      tel: 01631 566367         Kerrera Tea Garden

K6 telephone box on the Isle of Kerreraps: This is the only telephone box on the Isle of Kerrera and as you can see it is a K6. No manufacturer’s badge so it could be either Falkirk, Kirkintilloch or Glasgow in origin. Now it functions, not as a telephone box, but as the only shop on the island … selling postcards.

Telephone cables

If you found that interesting here is another little snippet that will be of interest to all those who have spent restless nights wondering where the first subsea transatlantic telephone cable came ashore in the UK. Well wonder no more, it was here at Little Horsehoe Bay on Kerrera in 1956. It operated until 1978. The other end was in Clarenville, Newfoundland. You can now rest easy.

View of first trans Atlantic telephone cable landing point on the Isle of Kerrera
Little Horseshoe Bay with Oban in the distance. In 1263 Horseshoe Bay housed a fleet of one hundred and twenty longship galleys under the command of Norwegian King Haakon 1. More recently, it provided all the lobsters for Cunard’s transatlantic liners.

Wilting

We met loads of tourists, some walking, some on bikes, all were complaining about the heat! They said that the publicity for holidays in Scotland had not prepared them for weeks of hot dry weather. C’est la vie … haste ye back!

These days, the Kerrera Tea Garden and that ‘journey to a scone’ seem almost otherworldly.

KERRERA SHED

With everyone preoccupied with social distancing, we don’t particularly want to get into a deep philosophical debate about sheds. However, “When is a shed, not a shed?”. For example, is a wooden garage not just a shed with big doors or do the doors define it as something else? Is a shed with large windows a summerhouse and therefore no longer a shed? We don’t know the answer but you will be relieved to hear that I don’t photograph garages or summerhouses even if they are still sheds. 

A shed on the Isle of Kerrera
Okay, it’s a composting toilet .. but still a shed. Near the tearoom and Gylen Castle

I knew it was a mistake in our COVID-19 Newsflash post creating new categories willy-nilly however I did not expect my better half to join in. It raises yet another philosophical question “When is a scone not a scone?’. When it’s a cheese muffin, that’s when! These muffins were absolutely delicious but definitely not scones and shouldn’t really have a place on this blog however in the interests of domestic harmony here is the picture. To be fair, we managed to swap four cheese muffins for three of our neighbour’s tomato plants making one cheese muffin worth 0.75 tomato plants. Fantastic, a sign of the times perhaps?Cheese muffins

 All this isolation stuff has driven the world mad. We have even heard rumours of Texas folks baking scones … unbelievable! It’s just a rumour.

Scones, Top

The Bothy – Again

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We figured out how to repost. It required nothing more than the download of some plugin software and the whole process becomes relatively easy. The titles in reposts will contain “again” to signify that it is not an actual revisit but just an old post being regurgitated. Text in red is new but other than that the posts will remain unaltered. This is the first of our ‘island scone” reposts from the Isle of Muck and dates back to July 2017. In the post, you will see that we say that life on Muck will go on regardless “no matter how disastrous things get in the outside world”. How prophetic!

Boris has been taken into hospital with his coronavirus symptoms but you all know about that. Get well soon Boris! Did we just say that? On to important things. Sheds are the main reason for us visiting the islands. To take photos for our book “Sheds of Scotland”. In these reposts, we have decided to add a shed here and there as a wee bit of added interest. So, if you have always wondered what a Muck shed looks like, today might be your lucky day!

We sailed into Port Mòr, the capital of the Isle of Muck, in great anticipation. For some reason, this was the culmination of a long-held ambition to actually visit Muck rather than just viewing it from a distance. Maybe it has something to do with the name? We were not to be disappointed … it is a great island. Not in size, only 2 by 0.75 miles, but it just has a lovely feel to it. It’s fertile and the land seems well-tended giving it a softer look than its neighbours Rùm and Eigg.

On the Isle of Muck looking towards Skye
Looking towards Skye in the distance with Rùm to the left

We walked the only road on the island, about 1.6 miles long, and the same Land Rover passed us five times. It was the only thing that passed.

On the main road on the Isle of Muck
Looking the other way towards Port Mòr … waiting for a corncrake to appear

Muck meat

We stopped at one point because a corncrake was calling in one of the fields. In spite of a lengthy wait, as usual, this shyest of birds did not reveal itself. Muck has been owned since 1896 by the family of Lawrence and Ewen McEwen. It currently has a population of about 38.

Internal view of the Bothy tearoom on the Isle of Muck
Everyone is outside

The island is famous for its succulent ‘Muck Meat’ derived from lambs that thrive on the rich grassland in this stress-free environment. They also breed Highland ponies using a stallion that goes by the rather impressive name of ‘Strathmashie Seumas Mhor’. You can probably tell by now that we really like Muck. And to top it all off, they had scones in Port Mòr’s, Bothy tearoom. Sometimes you can just tell as soon as you walk into a place that there is a high probability of the scones being good … so it was with the Bothy.

We were served by Jenny McEwen who had made the scones earlier in the day. They were delicious and accompanied by a generous portion of homemade apricot jam and a knob of butter. Great coffee and sitting outside in the sunshine with chickens under the table waiting for crumbs didn’t do anything to lessen our enjoyment. Easy topscone. Well done Jenny and all the ladies who were providing great service in this tearoom. We only had three hours so before long it was time to make our way back to the ferry. Guess what we came across?

K6 telephone box on the Isle of Muck
Another Lion foundry, Kirkintilloch K6

You got it … a K6 standing high above the village. They really are everywhere, though this one was looking a wee bit sorry for itself. Unusually for such items in these parts, it did not seem to have acquired an alternative use.

Port Mòr on the Isle of Muck looking towards the mainland
Port Mòr on the Isle of Muck

A quieter more peaceful world

When you are on places like this, you definitely get the feeling that no matter how disastrous things get in the outside world, life on Muck will just go on regardless. The same could be said for all the islands we visited. They are indeed another world … a quieter more peaceful world. What possible interest could Putin or Trump have here? Not a lot, and we think that the islanders themselves are very happy for it to stay that way.  On the other hand, EU investment has been good for this part of the world. Let’s hope that the same level of interest is maintained, in a year or so,  when such decisions are left entirely to Westminster. Don’t hold your breath though.

Pier House in Port Mòr on the Isle of Muck
Pier House in Port Mòr

All too soon the hooter sounds on the ferry signalling that we must return to some semblance of reality … boo!

PH41 2RP         tel: 01687 460057/462990         The Bothy

ps: For those interested in Pat’s bird count from Arisaig, Eigg, Rùm and Muck here, it is in rough order of observation. Robin, starling, swallow, blackbird, dunnock, house sparrow, hooded crow, oystercatcher, greenfinch, song thrush, grey heron, black guillemot, cormorant, eider duck, guillemot, Manx shearwater, chaffinch, great black-backed gull, herring gull, collared dove, golden eagle, feral pigeon, sea eagle, buzzard, whitethroat, rock pipit, arctic tern, wood pigeon, pied wagtail, lesser black-backed gull, raven, kittiwake, pintail duck, gannet, skylark, rook, kestrel, wheatear, lapwing, greylag goose, goldfinch, pheasant, corn bunting, mistle thrush, corncrake (heard). That’s 44 in total.

I would give her 45 for that corncrake but I know our very strict birding mentor, RD, would not allow it. Oddly we didn’t see any swans or mallards and we just missed a storm petrel and some puffins. There were also quite a few warblers and such like that we could not positively identify. Pat was pleased with her total so that’s all that matters.

Ah, these were the days when we could just wander carefree looking for our feathered friends.

MUCK SHEDA Muck shed

 

english, Scones, Uncategorized

Café 66

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We are joining the swallows and migrating south. Not because we are fed up with Brexit (although you can’t get any more fed up than us) but to visit my sister in Nice. Before that, however, we have a stop over in the Big Smoke! As we have often found before, finding a scone in London can be surprisingly  difficult. There are endless cafés of European, Asian or even US origin but traditional English tea rooms can be few and far between.

On this occasion it led us to ask the question …. when is a scone not a scone? The answer can be found here in Café 66 in London’s SW13. It is a relatively new kid on the block and certainly wasn’t here the last time we were in town. Of course, it had to be investigated. It is what we would call ‘bijou’ … small but perfectly formed. It is operated by a delightful mother and daughter team from Poland. They could not have made us more welcome.

Internal view of Café 66 in BarnesA spot of lunch was called for, however, as you all know by now, we like to finish things off with a scone. “Do you have scones?” we asked.  “What are you saying?” It wasn’t the Scottish accent it was simply that the young girl didn’t know. “Scones. they are like a little cakes that you eat with jam and cream.” we persevered. “Eh?” Thankfully at this point mum came to the rescue “Oh, I know what scones are – in this country you have them in the afternoon with tea.” “Yes”, we exclaimed. No, we don’t have any scones“.

Energy balls

With our hopes dashed on the jagged rocks of false expectation, we looked around and had to admit that there were lots of other delicious looking alternatives. In the absence of scones, however, we decided to go for one of their ‘Energy Balls’. They are small balls of nuts and fruit bound together with syrup and honey. Perhaps it was because they reminded us of the Lithuanian scoAn energy ball at Café 66 in Barnesnes our Trossachs correspondents had sent from Vilnius back in 2016. They were really nice – lovely texture and sweet but not cloyingly so.  We did feel like we had had an energy boost. So the answer to the question is that a scone is not a scone when it’s a Polish energy ball. No, we wouldn’t have got it right either.

As we were leaving we asked mum and daughter how they felt about only having about a week left before having to return to Poland. Their puzzled look quickly dissolved into laughter when they realised what we meant. However, it was quickly followed by looks of alarm and panic. “We are going to have to eat all this food very quickly” they joked, pointing at the display cases. Perhaps not, though.

Embarrasing

The first Saturday sitting of Westminster since the Falklands War, resulted in another defeat for Boris at the hands of his own colleagues. He followed it up with an unsigned letter to the EU asking for an extension. When politics is reduced to this school boy prank level it is embarrassing. Especially when you are in the presence of two ladies who are working incredibly hard to better themselves and better the country they now live in.

The true irony is that the UK’s future may eventually be decided by the DUP. A handful of self serving politicians from N. Ireland who don’t even represent the views of the people of N Ireland. It just gets weirder and weirder. Another energy ball please!

As we left Café 66, mum produced a Mary Berry cookbook, so who knows … next time there may be scones? Now we must continue our migration south.

SW13 0PZ       tel: 020 8241 1590       Cafe66

///dash.belt.puns

Ordinary, Scones

Buttercup Café – Doune

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Movies like Ivanhoe, Outlander, Game of Thrones,  Monty Python and the Holy Grail have all been huge box office hits. But what else do you think they might have in common? Yes, okay, they were all filmed here in this tiny hamlet of Doune, or, to be more precise, at the medieval fortress of Doune Castle. However, perhaps the most important thing they have in common is that, in spite of them all being totally unrealistic flights of fancy, they are all sooo much more believable than the current actuality of British politics. The situation has descended to such a level that watching ‘Westminster live’ has become compulsive viewing. Coronation Street has had to take a back seat as the masses switch to watching politicians conniving, lying through their teeth and stabbing each other in the back over Brexit. Some have even taken to stabbing each other in the front! Scriptwriters could not make this stuff up … it’s beyond imagination!

Doune on a wet day
Downtown Doune in the rain

Witches and MPs

This preamble, some might say ramble, is simply to say we are in Doune in the Buttercup Café, just a couple of hundred yards away from the castle. The last time we were in a Buttercup Café it was over a year ago in North Berwick. Back then we reported on how the town tortured and burned witches alive if they failed to conform. Looking at how the Tory party is dealing with its own MPs it seems that little has changed over the centuries.

Internal view of the Buttercup Café, DouneWe had just spent a strenuous few hours rummaging at the local Antique Centre on the outskirts of the village.  As is usual when we visit such places, we bought quite a few items we didn’t need. In spite of knowing we didn’t need them, we bought them anyway. Such is the influence of antique shops over weak willed souls like ourselves. So, when we arrived at the Buttercup we were in severe need of respite and sustenance.

Lovely lunch

Some lunch was called for. The ladiA scone at the Buttercup Café, Dounees here were super attentive and soon had us sorted with everything we needed, including a fruit scone for afters. Everything we had was super good and we were very much looking forward to our scone. Unfortunately it didn’t quite hit the mark. Enjoyable enough but a little bit dry and flowery for our taste. No topscone this time but a great wee café run by lovely people. We thoroughly recommend it.

Only one thing is sure

Now that Jo Johnson has decided to remove himself from the mess that masquerades as British politics we think he has shown an admirable and  excellent example to his brother. Don’t hold your breath though. Somehow Boris gives the impression that it is all, what they would have called at Eton, ‘a jolly jape’. Only one thing seems to be sure. No matter what happens Boris will be just fine and laughing all the way to the bank.

FK16 6BJ      tel: 01786 842511       Buttercup Café Doune FB

///crown.drummers.swooned