Tag Archives: Vladamir Putin

Ordinary, Scones

The good ship Forth Belle

What?? Sometimes we go to extraordinary lengths in order to broaden the horizons of our sconey readers. That said, seldom do we have to risk life and limb quite like this. Nevertheless, undaunted, on a fine sunny day in March, we set sail from the Hawes Pier in South Queensferry into the uncharted waters of floating scones. We were aboard the good ship Forth Belle and the name of our trip was “The Blackness Castle, Three Bridges and … wait for it … Cream Tea Cruise”. Okay, now you understand!

Rosyth Dockyard and the Prince of Wales aircraft carrier
Rosyth Dockyard with the partially built Prince of Wales aircraft carrier on the left
The Prince of Wales

We were sailing up river under the old Forth Road Bridge, then the new Queensferry Crossing and before long we were passing the Rosyth Dockyard. Britain doesn’t have any planes to put on the aircraft carrier being built here but now that Putin has been forced to take on the mantle of bogey-man-in-chief we think the money will probably be found. Presumably after we’ve forked out the £300b for weapons of mass destruction like Trident of course. If Putin eventually gets put back in his box and there are to be no planes, the Prince of Wales will probably be put on Gumtree or eBay. Not him, the ship!

The restaurant on the Forth Belle cruise
Help yourself cream tea

 

For our cream tea we had to go below to the galley (hope you are heeding the nautical terminology) where there was a table from which we had to equip ourselves with the various accoutrements for a cream tea. Thankfully there was someone to serve us tea and coffee. Okay okay, we may have over dramatised the life aA scone on the Forth Belle cruisend limb bit somewhat but there were other dangers. Because all the tables had been taken, we had to butter, jam and cream a scone on our knees with a plastic knife while the boat pitched and rolled mercilessly. Okay, that’s over dramatised as well! Maybe it was because of this high sense of adventure, maybe it was because of the chilling wind out here on the open water but our tea and scones tasted delicious.

Submarine U-21

Obviously there was no topscone award, there were certain shortcomings when it came to things like presentation. However, overall we thoroughly enjoyed what we had. Could easily have eaten another one. By this time we were at Blackness Castle which was as far up river as we would go before making the return journey. In a way we were mimicking German submarine U-21 which penetrated this far up the river in 1914 before turning back as well. They probably were not having a cream tea though!

Blackness Castle from the Forth Belle river cruiser
Blackness Castle , centre, looks like a battleship and may have scared off U-boat 21
Useful info

The crew of the good ship Forth Belle gave us all sorts of interesting snippets of information. Did you know, for instance, that the iconic Forth Rail Bridge weighs 100 tons more when it is raining. It also grows in length by 7 meters when it’s hot? No, we didn’t know either. However just think how many people you can bore at dinner parties with this sort of information. Alas, we didn’t see any seals or dolphins but there were plenty of cormorants, eider ducks and the like. The  cruise was great fun, highly recommended. Our trip was the last of the day. It was the only one we could get because all the others were fully booked. What some people will do for a free cream tea!!

The Forth Road Bridges at sunset
Looking west from Hawes Pier
Kiwi scones

Our Kiwi correspondent kindly reported recently that even Ed Sheeran will do anything for a free scone. Ed Sheeran and New Zealand's prime minister Jacinda ArdernApparently New Zealand‘s prime minister, Jacinda Ardern, couldn’t fit any of Ed’s eight NZ concerts into her busy schedule … so she invited him over to her place for a cuppa and a scone. He readily accepted because unbeknown to anyone up until then … he’s a fervent sconey! Why did the BBC not report this? It’s right up there with the usual stuff they like to report.

EH30 9TB               tel: 0131 331 3030              Forth Boat Tours

Ordinary, Scones

Buttercup Cafe

Can’t actually remember the last time we were in North Berwick but it was certainly some years ago. On this visit, if it wasn’t for the fact that we know better, we would say that everyone in town was more than a little devious, Machiavellian even. You know who you are! But that’s another story. Sign for the Buttercup Cafe in North Berwick

North Berwick itself is a lovely little seaside town with lots of art galleries, craft shops, restaurants and cafes. It consists almost entirely of rather grand Victorian houses and is surrounded by golf courses. To top it all off, not content with one beach, North Berwick has two. It was called North Berwick to distinguish it from South Berwick (now Berwick-on-Tweed) which, at one time was in Scotland.

In the 16th century the town was a hotbed of witchcraft. More witches being tried here  than anywhere else. One Agnes Sampson was accused of making a potion which made the seas rough for King James VI and his new wife, Anne of Denmark on their return voyage to Scotland. In 1591 she was tortured until a confession was obtained then burned at the stake. Thankfully there’s not so much of that sort of thing going on these days. At least we did not see anything like that on our visit.Internal view of the Buttercup Cafe in North Berwick

Surf boards

The tiny Buttercup Cafe is in the centre of town and has just a four tables and a serving counter. The predominant decor is surf boards. Now although the waves just a few meters from the door were definitely big enough for surfing the temperature, at a smidgen above freezing, definitely was not … brrrr! A scone at the Buttercup Cafe in North BerwickThe welcome here though was very warm and we were soon kitted out with a fruit and a plain scone and offered a wide range of jams to go with them. They were nicely presented and each scone came with a generous pot of clotted cream. What’s not to like? Nothing as it happens but we eventually decided that, wonderful as they were, the scones were not quite topscones … shame.

What’s happened to Brexit?

Ignorance of medical help take their condition to the next stage vardenafil 20mg tab are the critical male populations deprived of treatment. You do not generic levitra face any relationship issue until your love-lifegoes good. They fail to acknowledge the extent check it out online cialis or gravity of the injury. The Acupuncture is a medical treatment that has practiced for thousands of years in China cialis canadian prices and other countries as well. Isn’t it wonderful how, with no proof whatsoever, Putin has been branded public enemy number one because of the Sergei Skripal affair. We are not taking Putin’s side, far from it, but we do think he has good reason to be more than a little disgruntled at the actions of the West recently.May’s refusal to provide him with a sample of the deadly toxin is impolite if not Machiavellian. In fact, knickers have become so twisted that Brexit has barely got a mention recently. Gosh, who would have thought it!

West beach, North Berwick
Stormy day on west beach, North Berwick

EH39 4HE    tel: 01620 894985     Buttercup Cafe FB

p.s. This K6, constructed in the Lion Foundry, Kirkintilloch was found at the west end of the High Street in North Berwick. It had been converted for use as a cash machine but retained an outside telephone … for very small people??A K6 converted to a cash machine in North Berwick

Ordinary, Scones

Brian’s Café

Yesterday morning we were back at the Hippodrome in Bo’ness to see The Shape Of Water. An unexpectedly enjoyable film. It’s really a love fantasy but it also turns out to be surprisingly topical. The Americans had captured a unique South American water monster with peculiarly human characteristics. Honestly, it’s better than it sounds! Rather than let the US acquire any  advantage by studying the beast and unearthing its secrets the Russians, in the form of KGB agents, plotted to kill it with a lethal injection. Have you heard of any similar stories recently?

It is amusing to see the media in a frenzy wondering where the nerve agents directed against Sergei Skripal and his daughter could have come from. Without ever mentioning the world’s biggest stockpile of such chemical weapons at Porton Down. Only eight miles from Salisbury where Skripal was found. Interior view of Brian's Café in BonessAll fingers seem to be pointing at Vladimir Putin however and probably with good reason.

Have you noticed a rather worrying trend among world leaders recently? Putin, who unexpectedly came to power because Boris Yeltsin hadn’t enough blood in his vodka system, now finds himself drunk on power itself. He has manufactured a situation where he can remain in power indefinitely. Likewise with President Xi of China. Power is a great corrupter and both men now seem to think that they are omnipotent. Meanwhile, back in the USA, President Trump  knows he is omnipotent but, unlike Putin and Xi, hasn’t yet worked out a scam to keep the job for a life. Watch this space. Theresa May on the other hand will be forced to keep her job for life whether she likes it or not simply because it’s such a mess no one else wants it. Interior view of Brian's Café in Boness

Serafini family

Enough of all that. Just across the road from the Hippodrome is the imaginatively named Brian’s Cafe which, would you believe it, is owned by a chap called Brian, surname Curry. Its outward appearance is somewhat uninspiring and we did not have high hopes as we entered. A scone at Brian's Café in BonessThe interior is pleasant enough though and the staff were very friendly and helpful.

We were soon settled down with some tea and sharing a fruit scone. Okay, we sometimes indulge in reckless extravagance! There was no cream and the butter and jam were prepackaged but the scone itself was very good, not quite a topscone but pretty close.  The café has lots of what appeared to be family photographs hanging on the walls. When we asked about them we ended up being introduced to Brian himself. He had been sitting at another table with some friends. He’s a lovely guy who proceeded to take us round and explain his family history. Turns out that he is part of the Serafini family who not only had a cafe in Bo’ness but operated the York Café in Falkirk, a place we know very well.

Serafini family group from Brian's Café in Bo'ness
Serafini family from Barga. Brian’s aunt, Annie Curry, married Nathaniel (2nd from left, back row)

 

 

 

 

Scots locked up

What amazed us was that Brian’s aunt, a Bo’nessian born and bred, had married a Serafini and as a result was interned during WWII. It had never before occurred to us that Scots were also interned simply because of their association with Italians … unbelievable!

The Serafini's original café and their fish and chip van
The Serafini’s original café in Bo’ness  … and their fish and chip van c1950s

It was great listening to the many delightful childhood stories Brian had to tell. A far cry from today’s world of all-powerful autocrats and dastardly subterfuge.

EH51 0AA       tel: 01506 823815       Brian’s Café TA

p.s. News of an even bigger controversy came to us the other day courtesy of our correspondent, the Stenibrainfart. He reported that the National Trust in England had organised a cream tea at one of their venues in Cornwall and to publicise it they used a picture of a scone with a dollop of jam on top of the cream … arrgghh! National Trust picture of a cream tea scone

Now all self respecting sconeys worth their salt know that that is how they do it in Devon … and it’s just plain wrong! It is definitely not how they do it in Cornwall. Cornish folks have reportedly been resigning their NT membership in droves. A #JamFirst badgeThey felt so strongly they even produced #JamFirst badges to support the cause. Well done Cornwall, you tell ’em!

Scones, Uncategorized

The Beast from the East

This is not a proper scone post. It is simply an attempt to reassure all those kind sconeys (particularly those in the southern hemisphere) who have enquired after our well-being in the face of the Beast from the East. Putin’s gift to the west. We are fine, though things in general are pretty bad e.g. pastries from Greggs have been declared legal tender!

The title picture is of our car which hasn’t moved for almost a week. We can hear readers in Canada and Norway screaming “they call that snow”? Okay, okay, don’t mock! Unlike you, when we get snow, we  just wait for it to go away the next day. But this time it has been here for days! Nothing in Britain has moved much in the last week … very few cars on the roads, no trains, no flights. But you know all that!

Let us give you an instance about how Britain is coping. Yesterday, late afternoon, we decided to venture out as far as our local pub just to get out and have a walk if nothing else. We walked along the middle of the road, standing aside every time a car came along … only two passed. There was no one else out, the whole place was eerily quiet. We fully expected the pub to be  deserted, just a few hardy regulars, but no, it was ramjammed, we could hardly get in! We asked the harassed looking barmaid why it was so busy “cos nobody’s at their efing work” was the reply. That’s how Britain copes … just go to the pub!

State of ecstasy

We don’t have any pictures of scones to share but we are sending you this one of a partial scone. It was sent by one of our correspondents who has a home office at the bottom of his garden. His wife had baked some scones and braved the snow and the icy wind to bring some, complete with apricot jam, to her beloved. He thought that he would send us a picture but, in his heightened state of ecstasy, promptly forgot until there was barely anything left.What's left of a scone and apricot jam

Normal service

We can only apologise dear readers, but good competent scone correspondents are difficult to come by these days ..  a bit like politicians. We had to admire Theresa May saying that the EU would have to compromise. Is there a thinly veiled threat in there “if you don’t compromise we won’t leave”? Once again, thanks for all your concern. Hopefully we will be out and about very soon and normal sconology will be resumed.

Ordinary, Scones

The Loft – Crieff

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Perhaps you are aware that we have a fondness for shops that, by today’s standards, could be termed “a wee bit old-fashioned”. Maybe it’s because of the pace of modern life. Perhaps it’s because of standards of service. Maybe it’s just us? We don’t think of ourselves as “not keeping up” nor do we think of ourselves as particularly old. However, when you come across the likes of the much missed McEwens of Perth and the still current, Valentines of Crieff you do feel as if you are stepping back into a more comfortable, less frenetic world. And it’s nice.

Picture of frosted plant at Bennybeg near Crieff
Frosted hemlock at Bennybeg

 

Our Stenhousemuir correspondent (oft referred to as the SteniBrainFart) once had the temerity to suggest that the sad demise of McEwens of Perth had been caused by, what he felt, was a rather caustic scone review. Okay it wasn’t great but it was entirely coincidental to the downfall of our favourite shop. The nerve!

Back in town

Valentines of Crieff, on the other hand, is much smaller by comparison. Still alive and well though and kitting out the good folk of Crieff as it has done for years. It’s one of these places where, if your dress or trousers don’t fit exactly, they alter them until they do. For free! So it was that, after an hour long walk at Bennybeg Nature Trail (we saw a robin … yes, just a robin), we were back in Crieff picking up some alterations to purchases made a couple of weeks back when we were visiting an aunt (see Royal Hotel). Picture of the interior at The Loft, CrieffUnlike McEwens, Valentines does not have a café but next door is The Loft. A shop spread over three floors, selling furniture and lots of beautiful novelty items. And scones in the café at the back of the shop. Picture of a scone at The Loft, Crieff

Again we decided to have lunch then share a scone between us. In spite of it being very busy the service was great. Holding back our tea and scone until we had finished lunch. Served with nice little pots of butter, jam and cream our scone was really good. Just a gnat’s whisker off topscone, however. Good try though and we thoroughly enjoyed looking round the rest of the shop. Worth a visit if you find yourself in this neck of the woods.

What with the final section of the Queensferry Crossing being put in place as we write, ‘bridges’ seem to be the talking point of the day. Just down the road from where we are in Crieff, Dollerie House has a crooked bridge within its grounds specifically designed to stop witches crossing. And continuing with the bridge/witch theme, Theresa May’s offer to become a bridge between Donald Trump’s USA and the EU, has been roundly rejected by the EU. Best laid plans and all that. Maybe she will try holding Putin’s hand next?

Statistics

With Trump’s travel ban on Islamic immigrants now in place it is also interesting to look at the official US fatality figures for the past year. Exactly 2 Americans were killed by Islamic immigrants. This compared to 21 killed by armed toddlers and 11,737 killed by other Americans. You have to think seriously about whether or not we want a bridge at all? Seems like a different world to the one at The Loft and Valentines of Crieff. Long may they prosper.

PH7 4DL        tel: 01764 650008        The Loft

Scones, Top

Fonab Castle (revisited)

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As you are probably aware, we have long asserted that, in our humble opinion, the best scone in the world lives at Fonab Castle Hotel in Pitlochry. Since our first Fonab cream tea experience we have devoted much time and effort, not to mention expense, looking for a worthy challenger. However, in spite of all our testing at places as far apart as Ackergill Tower in Wick and Claridge’s in London, Fonab has managed to hold on to its position. It is  on the top tier of the cake stand as the topmost topscone.

However, it is now almost two years since we made that rather bold assertion. In our minds Fonab shone like a beacon in terms of ambience, presentation, service and quality. Okay it’s not the cheapest. It’s one of these “you know you’re worth it” places. But … perhaps, after such a long period of time, our combined memories were playing tricks on us? Something that, in our advancing years, is not only possible but highly likely! Maybe the scones would be awful and we would have to find a new benchmark …. aaarrgghh!

So it was with more than a little trepidation that we decided to return and reassess the Fonab scone. Luckily we could still remember the location of Pitlochry.

Winter view across Loch Faskally from Fonab Castle, Pitlochry
View across Loch Faskally towards Ben Vrackie from Fonab
Warm bowls

The trepidation was caused by fear of disappointment. What if there was a new chef with a different recipe. What if they were just different? Picture of a cream tea scone at Fonab Castle Hotel, PitlochryYou may remember that, on one visit, we actually asked the chef what his secret ingredient was for a good scone. The answer – “happiness in the kitchen!” Well, we need not have worried! This time around the service was impeccable, the ambience relaxing and comfortable, the views superb, the range of Scottish jams just brilliant, the coffee fantastic. And the scones were just perfect … warm and light as a feather. Not only were they presented in beautiful white linen napkins but even the serving bowls had been warmed. This is how scones should be treated!Picture of cream tea presentation at Fonab Castle Hotel, Pitlochry
So just to be clear. Let this be a clarion call to every posh hotel, coffee shop, tea house and greasy spoon we visit on our travels. When you see us coming this is what we expect if you are to have any chance of dislodging the Fonab scone from the pinnacle of sconiness. At just under £11 for a cream tea, it may be expensive but it is soooo worth it! Not only that but it turns out that the chef we spoke to about ingredients has long gone. And yet the scones were still delicious. There must be a lot of happiness in that kitchen!

Taking control

Such scrumptiousness lulls you into a warm sconey world where the trials and tribulations of a mad Trump/May/Putin world seem far far away. With the PM delivering a speech on Brexit yesterday that completely ignores the wishes of us folks north of the border, it also clarifies the situation. Scotland is going nowhere until it takes control of its own affairs. Oh dear, sconey world is so much nicer. … if only we could stay for ever?

PH16 5ND     tel: 01796 470140    Fonab Castle Hotel and Spa

Useful link: things to do in Pitlochry