Here we are in Glasgow, the bestest city in the whole wide world … Pat told me that! We are looking for something that’s hidden. Why? It’s like an itch, you’ve got to scratch it. If you are told something is hidden you feel an overpowering urge to find it. So it was with the Hidden Lane Tearoom.
Looking down the Hidden Lane from Argyle Street
Argyle Street is more than two miles long and one of Glasgow’s main shopping streets. There is so much going on you could easily walk past this little lane and not even notice it. Even if you did, you might not feel particularly inclined to go down … it’s not immediately obvious that it leads to anything. It’s proper name is Argyle Court but not a lot of people know that. You would just get a blank look if you asked for it by anything other than ‘the hidden lane.’ When you reach the end of the lane, however, it suddenly opens up into a large courtyard with a veritable cornucopia of tiny little shops and eateries. It’s quite a big area but this narrow lane is the only way in or out. Who would have thought?
Exciting
Even then, the tearoom was not immediately obvious but then we spotted it tucked away in a corner. It has become a central focus amongst the brightly coloured higgledy piggledy studios which act as home to lots of musicians and other creatives. We were excited to find the Hidden Lane but we were doubly excited to try the tearoom. Apparently it’s renowned for its luxury afternoon tea, its classic Victoria sponge and its secret recipe scones. What’s not to get excited about?
The tearoom has a cosy chintzy feel about and combined with the cheery service it’s the sort of place where you immediately feel comfortable. They have an upstairs as well so it’s not as small as you might think. Of course, our primary concern was the scones. Pat went for fruit and I opted for their ‘special scone of the day,’ raspberry and white chocolate.
Double awards
I tried to get a picture of both scones together but for some reason it didn’t work. Damn, just when I thought I was getting the hang of this photography lark! Anyway we shared the scones so that we could sample both. Unsurprisingly perhaps, we thought they were both excellent. Served with little glass pots of jam and cream and a sprinkling of crunchy sugar on top. We gave Pat’s a topscone and mine a top weird scone … well done the Hidden Lane Tearoom.
Who would have thought that, more than a month on, the war in Ukraine would still be going on. And in the David and Goliath struggle, David seems to at least be holding his own against the vastly superior might of the Russian army. There was a message on the wall of the Hidden Lane Tearoom. It did make us wonder what would have happened if Mad Vlad had gone for tea first.
The football World Cup is scheduled to take place in Qatar at the end of the year. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if Ukraine qualified! However, there’s a fly in the ointment … Scotland. The only thing standing between Ukraine and qualifying for the World Cup is Scotland. They have to play to decide which country goes through. Oh no, what a dilemma!
Russia and it’s people are not exactly flavour of the month these days but, of course, that’s very unfair. Russians are just like the rest of us. They are not all evil despots like Putin, just like we in the UK, are not all bumbling idiots. Anyway, in a miniscule way, this post will try and redress the problem even though we may get accused of being diverted away from the main purpose of this blog.
It’s all about a new enterprise in Falkirk called Tattie Bogle’s. It’s a healthy eating place that tries to minimise packaging and it’s owned by a husband and wife team. She is Scottish and he’s Russian … lovely folk and passionate about what they do.
Scary stories
Some of you who are not so familiar with Scottish terminology may be wondering about the name Tattie Bogle’s. A tattie is a potato here in Scotland as in tattie scone, mince and tatties etc etc. Bogle refers to something scary, as in bogeyman. When you put the two together you end up with a human like form standing amongst crops to scare off unwanted visitors … a scarecrow! Loving parents all over Scotland would tell their children elaborate stories about tattie bogles to scare them half to death.
So Tattie Bogle’s is not a cafe or restaurant, it’s a kind of old-fashioned organic ethical grocers selling, amongst lots of other things, locally sourced fresh fruit and veg. You take along your own containers to cut down on packaging. We are definitely in favour of that … packaging seems to be a modern day curse. They even get their organic milk from Robert Burns’s Mossgiel Farm in Ayrshire. Having said it’s not a cafe it does have a couple of tiny tables where you can sit and have coffee. It was a fabulous sunny day so we thought we would see if they had any scones (we do try to stay on message).
Freshly baked Bavarian croissants, empire biscuits and snowballs
No, no scones but they did have some other delicious looking baking. This is where we got diverted … no scones were harmed in this post. We ended up getting a Bavarian chocolate croissant to share. When we asked for a knife, however, we were told “no knives“. Gosh they really are serious about this no wastage thingy. No matter, Pat ripped it in half with her bare hands. It was delicious and if we were dishing out top-croissant awards this would definitely have qualified.
Brute strength
It was very pleasant sitting there in the sunshine so we decided to prolong our stay with an empire biscuit. Not even a plate this time, just a brown paper bag. Again, Pat just grabbed it and broke it in half. She can be absolutely ruthless when she wants. Having said that, I got the half with the cherry. don’t mistake this for altruism or generosity … she doesn’t like cherries!
Tattie Bogle’s sources its produce with consideration for people, animals and the environment We found its simple ‘back to basics ethos when it comes to health quite refreshing. Let’s have more more Scots/Russian collaborations, more power to their collective elbow!
We would, however, like less power for Putin’s elbow You could say that he’s a bit of a tattie bogle, he has managed to successfully keep the West at bay after all. From his point of view nuclear weapons are actually a very successful deterrent. They’ve certainly paralysed the West militarily and allowed him to do pretty much as he pleases.
All good things must come to an end … why oh why does that have to be true? But they do and after a wonderful few days here in Newcastle, we are heading for home. We arrived back in the city centre having been pampered for a few days in Jesmond Dene House. Our train wasn’t due for another hour so time to squeeze in another scone maybe? We ended up here at the Royal Station Hotel but it wasn’t our first choice.
Sound advice
You know how lots of pubs are called “something and something” e.g. the Hare and Hounds, the Rose and Crown etc etc. Well we were aware of a place called the Dog and Scone which was not far from the station. We ended up getting a bit lost, however, and had to ask a chap manning a fruitstall. “Dog and Scone“, he said, shaking his head “nae man, never heard of it“. He consulted with a couple of colleagues and that resulted in a kind of mass synchronised head shaking. We told him the street name “ wey aye man, that’s just doon there and alang yon lane on the right but ye don’t want to be gaein’ there man, it’s rubbish!There’s dogs everywhere on the floor on the tables, ye really don’t want to be gaein’ there, ye definitely won’t like it, there’ll be hairs in the scones!“
Limits
That’s the second ‘rubbish’ thing we’ve been told about in Newcastle. The first ‘rubbish’ thing was the Metro which turned out to be great so we thought we should still go and investigate. The friendly fruit man was spot on! We looked in the window of the Dog and Scone and true enough, there were people lying on the floor with their dogs, people sitting with dogs on their tables, dogs everywhere. Presumably they had scones but we decided there was limits to our dedication after all. We don’t even know if we would have been allowed in without a dog! We moved on and the next place we came to was the Royal Station Hotel. It’s a huge Victorian pile that forms part of the station.
No dogs here but not much joy either. There were signs for afternoon tea all over the place but they said they didn’t do scones, eh? When we asked how they did an afternoon tea without doing scones our waiter looked at us quizzically “ well I suppose I could ask the kitchen for a scone“, he said. The temptation to give a round of applause was almost overwhelming.
Is this cream?
They probably thought we had a bit of a nerve because we only wanted one scone to share. To give them their due they did come quite smartly with our order. It was all quite acceptable except the cream which was just a bowl of runny stuff … completely unfit for purpose. No topscone here unfortunately but it did allow us to kill some time in more comfortable surroundings than we would have had at the Dog and Scone.
There were some interesting quotes painted onto the walls; “Whisky is by far the most popular remedy that won’t cure a cold” was one by Jerry Vale. It does make it much more bearable though … I can vouch for that! Sometimes I drink it even if I don’t have a cold.
Judgement?
Another quote by Ukranian philosopher, Dagobert D Runes was perhaps more topical. “Dictators long ago found that it is easier to unite people in common hatred than in common love.” Putin has certainly managed to do that. Now, however, he may be slowly beginning to realise that he has bitten off more than he can chew. Hugely overestimating the capabilities of his own forces and underestimating the bravery and resolve of the Ukrainian people. Hopefully, before long, someone will put him out of his misery.
Soon we were back on our LUMO train and heading back north with very fond memories. Newcastle itself was great but its people were fantastic. Without fail we were welcomed by the Geordies who proved to be unstintingly helpful and friendly. Apologies for our attempts at imitating the accent.
It’s a week since our last post at Another Tilly Tearoom and here we are now at the original Tilly Tearoom in Tillicoultry. It’s also been a week since the start of the war in Ukraine. What a week of absolute horror but it has also showcased the best and worst of humanity! It’s embarrassing that we seem to be so helpless in the face of such unprovoked Russian aggression and the UK’s mean spirited attitude to refugees is even more embarrassing. The Little Englanders seem to think that these people actually want to come here? They don’t, and the few that do will undoubtedly return to their homeland just as soon as they safely can. Poland and the rest of the EU are putting the UK to shame! But honestly, what can we expect when so many of our MPs are funded with Russian money?
Size doesn’t matter
Anyway, we also experienced the best of humanity in another area completely. Yes, in this place, Tilly Tearoom. If we had decided to do both of these tearooms we should probably have started with this one , however, given that we didn’t know that either existed you will just have to put up with them in the wrong order. This place is obviously similar to Another Tilly Tearoom but is even smaller. There’s nothing fancy, just simple food served by friendly, enthusiastic staff.
A delight
Laura was looking after us and she represented humanity at its best … young, pretty, enthusiastic and oozing kindness. I had to ask her what colour her hair was because I couldn’t quite place it. Pointing at her head, she said “my original colour, or this?” I said ‘this“, to which she replied “well, I’m actually blonde but I had too much time on my hands during Covid so this is Flamingo Pink“. Of course it was. Her eyelashes were so long, one careless flutter could have blown the froth off our coffees! She was a delight!
After some lunch she offered us a plain scone but “there’s one banoffee (banana and toffee) scone left if you would like that?” We were sharing … I wanted the banoffee but Pat wanted plain. So plain it was … it’s good to know your place! It came with generous portions of jam and cream. Once again Pat had the top half and I had the bottom. It was lovely and we didn’t hesitate to award a topscone. In 2019, the Tilly Tearoom won an award as the Most Welcoming Café of the Year and we can easily understand why. When we were leaving we told Laura that the scone was the best we had had since we were at Another Tilly tearoom. She promptly asked “which was best?“, oh gosh, talk about being put on the spot?
Daring do
Tilly tearoom with the Ochil hills in the distance
Every time I’m in Tillycoultry I think back to the the Great Tin Tray Championships of 1967. A small group of us climbed the grassy slopes of the Ochil hills that provide a backdrop to the town. We were all carrying tin beer trays. Mine was a black and gold Guinness tray, built for speed. The idea was to see who would be fastest to the bottom while sitting on the tray. Suffice to say that this side of the Ochil hills is entirely friction free. We were back at the bottom in seconds having experienced a completely uncontrolled hair raising ride. No idea who won but we all survived. Those were the days!
This sign in the Tilly Tearoom makes perfect sense
The pictures of Mad Vlad sitting at one end of a table with his generals sitting about half a mile away at the the other end, speaks volumes. He is unhinged to put it politely. But, with a fair wind, this should be the end for Putin!
It’s easy to feel pessimistic with everything going on in Ukraine so it seems slightly absurd to be talking about scones in such circumstances. However, as long as we have people like Volodymyr Zelenskyy and she of the Flamingo Pink hair in Tilly tearoom, there’s hope.
When the owners of the Tilly Tearoom in Tillicoultry decided to expand they bought this place in Dunblane near Stirling. When it came to a name, however, they were stumped. They thought and they thought and they thought … and then it came to them …. Another Tilly Tearoom, brilliant!
Gingham and teapots
It’s a very homely kind of place. A sort of jumble of tiny rooms each with two or three tables. Between each room there’s a short flight of steps so the staff have to be pretty fit to work here. The lady looking after us was super good and managed to engage everyone in friendly conversation with whizzing around the place. She soon had us sorted out with a couple of toasted sandwiches for lunch and a scone to share afterwards. She told us that there was only one fruit scone left but she would put it to one side for us … what service! The gingham table clothes the vast teapot collection and the mismatched chinaware give Another Tilly Tearoom a pleasant cottagy feel. We were sitting right next to a big roaring fire that would have had us roasted to death if it hadn’t just been a painting.
Lunch was excellent and when our scone arrived it came with generous pots of jam and cream. As always Pat took the top half and, very quickly, I could tell by the mmming that we might be heading for a topscone. It was quite big so we were very glad that we were sharing but overall it was delicious. On a really horrible wet day Another Tilly Tearoom succeeded in lifting our spirits with this topscone. Now we need to try the other Tilly Tearoom.
Vlad the invader
Today is a momentous day for all the wrong reasons. Russia has invaded Ukraine, or be more precise, Vladimir Putin has invaded Ukraine. We are pretty sure that ordinary Russians have got better things to worry about than Ukraine. All the frantic diplomacy over the past few weeks seems to have come to zilch. Even Boris’s efforts came to nought. To cap it all, now Trump has come out on Vlad’s side and when you hear Putin speak you can almost hear Trump saying exactly the same words. Imagine what the US reaction would have been with Trump still in power. We live in a crazy world!
In the UK, it’s odd that the Conservative party, the upholder of freedom for all, should be funded by a communist regime like Vlad the Invader’s Russia. Hath they no scruples? That was rhetorical! We ‘re sure that much more would be made of political funding if it wasn’t for the Labour Party being in debt to China. You really couldn’t make it up!
After thirty years of independence and prosperity we feel heart sorry for all those Ukranians who now feel they have to flee their homes. Given those in charge, goodness knows what will happen now. On the railings of St Blane’s church, right next door to Another Tilly Tearoom we came across this message. Hasn’t worked in any of the world’s other conflict zones but faced with a Putin/Trump combo it might be all that’s left!
The government’s Department of Weasel Words has gone into overdrive trying to justify their pathetic response to coronavirus and the BBC has taken to only reporting on NHS England. Should we be surprised? Well, back in 2018, we were at the Kerrera Tea Garden and as you will see we were still smarting from being cheated out of Scotland’s independence in 2014. The defeat was brought about by a coalition of Labour, Conservative and media lies. What really surprised us the most was that we were surprised. We knew they could stoop very low, just not that low. Anyway, let’s go back two years.
When it comes to Scottish Independence many people who voted NO in the 2014 referendum have been posting on social media “My Journey to YES”. Well, this is similar but, of course, it’s more “Our journey to a SCONE”! Let us explain. Some scones can be relatively difficult to come by but that is generally down to cost e.g. Claridges, the Connaught, rather than geographical location.
Gallanach Ferry only takes 12 people, no cars. If you are number 13 you have to wait for it to come back. We had to wait for it to come back three times
Getting there
Getting to the Kerrera Tea Garden, however, involves a road trip to Oban, a passenger ferry and then an hour’s walk over rough hill track. That’s just to get there … and the same back! There is nothing along the way other than sheep but luckily they have easy to follow signposts to guide the weary traveller. Although the day was quite cloudy it was hot so by the time we came on that last sign we were extremely relieved. Stomach and arthritic joints were screaming for sustenance and rest.
The Kerrera Tea Garden is exactly what it says. A fairly large garden in which there are lots of tables where you can sit and have tea. If the weather ever gets inclement, perish the thought, there is the Byre, a rustic but charming converted cowshed.
The Byre
Sacre Bleu
We were attended to by a very mannerly young chap who was obviously not a local. He was from Singapore and was studying law in London. Goodness knows how he found his way here for a summer job? The scones are made fresh every morning so after a light lunch we thought they should be sampled. We couldn’t come all this way and not sample the scones after all! Unfortunately, they were a tad disappointing. Just a little on the solid side and with a slightly sweet taste that wasn’t to our liking. They weren’t bad but not a topscone. Pity, because everything else about this place is fantastic. If you ever get the chance you should definitely visit, it’s worth the effort.
When we arrived there was a party of six French folks who were explaining that they just wanted coffee because they had their own sandwiches … mais non, sacre blue, mon Dieu! Perhaps it is just as well we are leaving the EU! They were politely told to take themselves off to yonder distant hill to have their picnic. When we were leaving they were making their way back for their coffee and didn’t seem at all putout. The Auld Alliance is intact!
The ruined Gylen Castle overlooking the Firth of Lorne
We finished off our visit with the short walk from the Tea Garden to Gylen Castle which sits on the southern tip of the island. It was built in 1582 by the Clan MacDougall but was besieged then burned by Covenanters in 1647. Ironically the siege was successful because of a shortage of water. The castle’s spring was insufficient in the prevailing dry spell so the MacDougalls surrendered. The same would have happened today where we have almost forgotten what rain looks like! When William Turner visited in 1831, he was fascinated by the ruin and made several sketches of the castle which are now in London’s Tate Gallery.
Looking east with twin peaks of Ben Cruachan in the middle distance
Sheep talk
On our return walk to the ferry we were almost deafened at one point by sheep talking to each other. Their exact words were “baa, baa, baa, baa, baa.” The noise was incredible! We came to the conclusion that they must have been discussing the effects of Brexit on the Common Agricultural Policy. They were making much more sense than our Westminster parliamentarians! After Trump’s visit to see May in London and Putin in Helsinki, I said to Pat “I think Trump’s a very clever man“, then, when I saw the look on her face, had to explain that I had misspoken and what I actually meant to say was that he was a complete and utter idiot.
Ex KGB, Vladamir Putin is beginning to look like the only sane politician around and that says something! Our “journey to a scone” was one of the most enjoyable in a long time. A big fat YES to the Kerrera Tea Garden.
PA34 4SX tel: 01631 566367 Kerrera Tea Garden
ps: This is the only telephone box on the Isle of Kerrera and as you can see it is a K6. No manufacturer’s badge so it could be either Falkirk, Kirkintilloch or Glasgow in origin. Now it functions, not as a telephone box, but as the only shop on the island … selling postcards.
Telephone cables
If you found that interesting here is another little snippet that will be of interest to all those who have spent restless nights wondering where the first subsea transatlantic telephone cable came ashore in the UK. Well wonder no more, it was here at Little Horsehoe Bay on Kerrera in 1956. It operated until 1978. The other end was in Clarenville, Newfoundland. You can now rest easy.
Little Horseshoe Bay with Oban in the distance. In 1263 Horseshoe Bay housed a fleet of one hundred and twenty longship galleys under the command of Norwegian King Haakon 1. More recently, it provided all the lobsters for Cunard’s transatlantic liners.
Wilting
We met loads of tourists, some walking, some on bikes, all were complaining about the heat! They said that the publicity for holidays in Scotland had not prepared them for weeks of hot dry weather. C’est la vie … haste ye back!
These days, the Kerrera Tea Garden and that ‘journey to a scone’ seem almost otherworldly.
KERRERA SHED
With everyone preoccupied with social distancing, we don’t particularly want to get into a deep philosophical debate about sheds. However, “When is a shed, not a shed?”. For example, is a wooden garage not just a shed with big doors or do the doors define it as something else? Is a shed with large windows a summerhouse and therefore no longer a shed? We don’t know the answer but you will be relieved to hear that I don’t photograph garages or summerhouses even if they are still sheds.
Okay, it’s a composting toilet .. but still a shed. Near the tearoom and Gylen Castle
I knew it was a mistake in our COVID-19 Newsflash post creating new categories willy-nilly however I did not expect my better half to join in. It raises yet another philosophical question “When is a scone not a scone?’. When it’s a cheese muffin, that’s when! These muffins were absolutely delicious but definitely not scones and shouldn’t really have a place on this blog however in the interests of domestic harmony here is the picture. To be fair, we managed to swap four cheese muffins for three of our neighbour’s tomato plants making one cheese muffin worth 0.75 tomato plants. Fantastic, a sign of the times perhaps?
All this isolation stuff has driven the world mad. We have even heard rumours of Texas folks baking scones … unbelievable! It’s just a rumour.
When it comes to Scottish Independence many people who voted NO in the 2014 referendum have been posting on social media “My Journey to YES”. Well this is similar but, of course, it is more “Our journey to a SCONE”! Let us explain. Some scones can be relatively difficult to come by but that is generally down to cost e.g. Claridges, the Connaught, rather than geographical location.
Gallanach Ferry only takes 12 people, no cars. If you are number 13 you have to wait for it to come back. We had to wait for it to come back three times
Getting there
Getting to the Kerrera Tea Garden however involves a road trip to Oban, a ferry and then an hours walk over rough hill track. That’s just to get there … and the same back! There is nothing along the way other than sheep but luckily they have easy to follow signposts to guide the weary traveller. Although the day was quite cloudy it was hot so by the time we came on that last sign we were extremely relieved. Stomach and arthritic joints were screaming for sustenance and rest.
The Kerrera Tea Garden is exactly what it says. A fairly large garden in which there are lots of tables where you can sit and have tea. If the weather ever gets inclement, perish the thought, there is the Byre, a rustic but charming converted cowshed.
The Byre
Sacre Blue
We were attended to by a very mannerly young chap who was obviously not a local. He was from Singapore and was studying law in London. Goodness knows how he found his way here for a summer job? The scones are made fresh every morning so after a light lunch we thought they should be sampled. We couldn’t come all this way and not sample the scones after all! Unfortunately they were a tad disappointing. Just a little on the solid side and with a slightly sweet taste that wasn’t to our liking. They weren’t bad but not a topscone. Pity, because everything else about this place is fantastic. If you ever get the chance you should definitely visit, it’s worth the effort.
When we arrived there was a party of six French folk who were explaining that they just wanted coffee because they had their own sandwiches … mais non, sacre blue, mon dieu! Perhaps it is just as well we are leaving the EU! They were politely told to take themselves off to thonder distant hill to have their picnic. When we were leaving they were making their way back for their coffee and didn’t seem at all put out. The Auld Alliance is intact!
The ruined Gylen Castle overlooking the Firth of Lorne
buy cialis pill cute-n-tiny.com The blood supply into the erection containers made of spongy tissue called as corpus cavernosum to relax and smoothen. Epillsrx.com offers levitra best price at a 100% lowest-price guarantee, which ensures customers that they have received from the online course and it remains fresh and clear in the mind. Hair follicles have a sensitivity to DHT – so when the DHT is present in discover address now cialis cheapest the follicles, it makes them miniaturize – resulting in an abnormal production of the hormone adrenocorticotropin. This issue cialis canada generico might not be a matter of life and death in some extreme cases. We finished off our visit with the short walk from the Tea Garden to Gylen Castle which sits on the southern tip of the island. It was built in 1582 by the Clan MacDougall but was besieged then burned by Covenanters in 1647. Ironically the siege was successful because of a shortage of water. The castle’s spring was insufficient in the prevailing dry spell so the MacDougalls surrendered. The same would have happened today where we have almost forgotten what rain looks like! When William Turner visited in 1831, he was fascinated by the ruin and made several sketches of the castle which are now in London’s Tate Gallery.
Looking east with twin peaks of Ben Cruachan in the middle distance
Sheep talk
On our return walk to the ferry we were almost deafened at one point by sheep baaing to each other … baa, baa, baa, baa. The noise was incredible! We came to the conclusion that they must have been discussing the effects of Brexit on the Common Agricultural Policy. They were making much more sense than our Westminster parliamentarians! After Trump’s visit to see May in London and Putin in Helsinki, I said to Pat “I think Trump’s a very clever man”, then, when I saw the look on her face, had to explain that I had misspoken and what I actually meant to say was that he was a complete and utter idiot.
Ex KGB, Vladamir Putin is beginning to look like the only sane politician around and that says something! Our “journey to a scone” was one of the most enjoyable in a long time. A big fat YES to the Kerrera Tea Garden.
ps: This is the only telephone box on the Isle of Kerrera and as you can see it is a K6. No manufacturer’s badge so it could be either Falkirk, Kirkintilloch or Glasgow in origin. Now it functions, not as a telephone box, but as the only shop on the island … selling postcards.
Telephone cables
If you found that interesting here is another little snippet that will be of interest to all those who have spent restless nights wondering where the first subsea transatlantic telephone cable came ashore in the UK. Well wonder no more, it was here at Little Horsehoe Bay on Kerrera in 1956. It operated until 1978 and the other end was in Clarenville, Newfoundland. You can now rest easy.
Little Horseshoe Bay with Oban in the distance. In 1263 Horseshoe Bay housed a fleet of one hundred and twenty longship galleys under the command of Norwegian King Haakon 1. More recently, it provided all the lobsters for Cunard’s transatlantic liners.
Wilting
We met loads of tourists, some walking, some on bikes, all were complaining about the heat! They said that the publicity for holidays in Scotland had not prepared them for weeks of hot dry weather. C’est la vie … haste ye back!
As you already know we are always ready to go that extra mile in the cause of sconology no matter how much discomfort and distress this may cause. This post is no exception and Knockinaam Lodge Hotel is where it’s at. Lying in its own little cove in the cliffs just south of Portpatrick, it is very private. So private in fact that we had difficulty finding it. So private that Churchill and Eisenhower planned the D-Day landings here. When you get here you kind of get the feeling that nothing has changed much in the intervening years. You can almost see Churchill sitting in the big leather fireside armchair, whisky and cigar in hand. At the reception desk we were initially concerned that our room did not appear on the communication system. However they assured us that all we had to do was pick up the phone and they would attend to our every need … phew!
Our room didn’t have a bell
Reminiscing
Knockinaam has that comfortable homely feel about it which makes it the perfect place to chillax. And that was exactly what we had in mind. No swimming pool but its own beach in Port of Spittal Bay more than made up for that. We could sit there looking over the North Channel toward Northern Ireland and reminisce on the many happy years we spent living there … bless!
Silver dishes
But enough of our bleating, we are here and we will just have to make the best of it. Lets get to the scones. We would have loved to have had afternoon tea however our schedule simply made that impossible. Instead we just had tea and a scone. We had been warned that the scones were big so we shared. Seated in front of a lovely log fire when the scone came it was beautifully presented with crisp linen napkins and lots of jam and cream in silver dishes. There was absolutely nothing to complain about here … a very easy topscone. If you ever visit Portpatrick there is a three mile cliff top path that takes you to Knockinaam and this, or afternoon tea, would be a perfect stop before the return journey.
Shenanigans
You have probably guessed by now that we are not exactly roughing it. However, in order to bring you the full spectrum of scone news we do feel obliged to come to places like this from time to time. Entirely on your behalf you understand! Sitting here, you can’t help but wonder what the Churchill and Eisenhower of old would have made of today’s political shenanigans between Trump, May, Putin and Assad. We think that they, like us, would have been aghast. If one has to wonder about such things, however, this is definitely the place to do it. We thoroughly recommend Knockinaam. It could have been the six course dinners every night. Perhaps the wonderful staff. It could have been the beautiful rooms. In fact it could have been just about anything, it was all good … and a great scone.DG9 9AD tel: 01776 810471Knockinaam Lodge
What?? Sometimes we go to extraordinary lengths in order to broaden the horizons of our sconey readers. That said, seldom do we have to risk life and limb quite like this. Nevertheless, undaunted, on a fine sunny day in March, we set sail from the Hawes Pier in South Queensferry into the uncharted waters of floating scones. We were aboard the good ship Forth Belle and the name of our trip was “The Blackness Castle, Three Bridges and … wait for it … Cream Tea Cruise”. Okay, now you understand!
Rosyth Dockyard with the partially built Prince of Wales aircraft carrier on the left
The Prince of Wales
We were sailing up river under the old Forth Road Bridge, then the new Queensferry Crossing and before long we were passing the Rosyth Dockyard. Britain doesn’t have any planes to put on the aircraft carrier being built here but now that Putin has been forced to take on the mantle of bogey-man-in-chief we think the money will probably be found. Presumably after we’ve forked out the £300b for weapons of mass destruction like Trident of course. If Putin eventually gets put back in his box and there are to be no planes, the Prince of Wales will probably be put on Gumtree or eBay. Not him, the ship!
Help yourself cream tea
For our cream tea we had to go below to the galley (hope you are heeding the nautical terminology) where there was a table from which we had to equip ourselves with the various accoutrements for a cream tea. Thankfully there was someone to serve us tea and coffee. Okay okay, we may have over dramatised the life and limb bit somewhat but there were other dangers. Because all the tables had been taken, we had to butter, jam and cream a scone on our knees with a plastic knife while the boat pitched and rolled mercilessly. Okay, that’s over dramatised as well! Maybe it was because of this high sense of adventure, maybe it was because of the chilling wind out here on the open water but our tea and scones tasted delicious.
Submarine U-21
Obviously there was no topscone award, there were certain shortcomings when it came to things like presentation. However, overall we thoroughly enjoyed what we had. Could easily have eaten another one. By this time we were at Blackness Castle which was as far up river as we would go before making the return journey. In a way we were mimicking German submarine U-21 which penetrated this far up the river in 1914 before turning back as well. They probably were not having a cream tea though!
Blackness Castle , centre, looks like a battleship and may have scared off U-boat 21
Useful info
The crew of the good ship Forth Belle gave us all sorts of interesting snippets of information. Did you know, for instance, that the iconic Forth Rail Bridge weighs 100 tons more when it is raining. It also grows in length by 7 meters when it’s hot? No, we didn’t know either. However just think how many people you can bore at dinner parties with this sort of information. Alas, we didn’t see any seals or dolphins but there were plenty of cormorants, eider ducks and the like. The cruise was great fun, highly recommended. Our trip was the last of the day. It was the only one we could get because all the others were fully booked. What some people will do for a free cream tea!!
Looking west from Hawes Pier
Kiwi scones
Our Kiwi correspondent kindly reported recently that even Ed Sheeran will do anything for a free scone. Apparently New Zealand‘s prime minister, Jacinda Ardern, couldn’t fit any of Ed’s eight NZ concerts into her busy schedule … so she invited him over to her place for a cuppa and a scone. He readily accepted because unbeknown to anyone up until then … he’s a fervent sconey! Why did the BBC not report this? It’s right up there with the usual stuff they like to report.
Can’t actually remember the last time we were in North Berwick but it was certainly some years ago. On this visit, if it wasn’t for the fact that we know better, we would say that everyone in town was more than a little devious, Machiavellian even. You know who you are! But that’s another story.
North Berwick itself is a lovely little seaside town with lots of art galleries, craft shops, restaurants and cafes. It consists almost entirely of rather grand Victorian houses and is surrounded by golf courses. To top it all off, not content with one beach, North Berwick has two. It was called North Berwick to distinguish it from South Berwick (now Berwick-on-Tweed) which, at one time was in Scotland.
In the 16th century the town was a hotbed of witchcraft. More witches being tried here than anywhere else. One Agnes Sampson was accused of making a potion which made the seas rough for King James VI and his new wife, Anne of Denmark on their return voyage to Scotland. In 1591 she was tortured until a confession was obtained then burned at the stake. Thankfully there’s not so much of that sort of thing going on these days. At least we did not see anything like that on our visit.
Surf boards
The tiny Buttercup Cafe is in the centre of town and has just a four tables and a serving counter. The predominant decor is surf boards. Now although the waves just a few meters from the door were definitely big enough for surfing the temperature, at a smidgen above freezing, definitely was not … brrrr! The welcome here though was very warm and we were soon kitted out with a fruit and a plain scone and offered a wide range of jams to go with them. They were nicely presented and each scone came with a generous pot of clotted cream. What’s not to like? Nothing as it happens but we eventually decided that, wonderful as they were, the scones were not quite topscones … shame.
What’s happened to Brexit?
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p.s. This K6, constructed in the Lion Foundry, Kirkintilloch was found at the west end of the High Street in North Berwick. It had been converted for use as a cash machine but retained an outside telephone … for very small people??
by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics
Here we are in Glasgow, the bestest city in the whole wide world … Pat told me that! We are looking for something that’s hidden. Why? It’s like an itch, you’ve got to scratch it. If you are told something is hidden you feel an overpowering urge to find it. So it was with the Hidden Lane Tearoom.
It has become a central focus amongst the brightly coloured higgledy piggledy studios which act as home to lots of musicians and other creatives. We were excited to find the Hidden Lane but we were doubly excited to try the tearoom. Apparently it’s renowned for its luxury afternoon tea, its classic Victoria sponge and its secret recipe scones. What’s not to get excited about?
They have an upstairs as well so it’s not as small as you might think. Of course, our primary concern was the scones. Pat went for fruit and I opted for their ‘special scone of the day,’ raspberry and white chocolate. 
Damn, just when I thought I was getting the hang of this photography lark! Anyway we shared the scones so that we could sample both. Unsurprisingly perhaps, we thought they were both excellent. Served with little glass pots of jam and cream and a sprinkling of crunchy sugar on top. We gave Pat’s a topscone and mine a top weird scone … well done the Hidden Lane Tearoom.
Who would have thought that, more than a month on, the war in Ukraine would still be going on. And in the David and Goliath struggle, David seems to at least be holding his own against the vastly superior might of the Russian army. There was a message on the wall of the Hidden Lane Tearoom. It did make us wonder what would have happened if Mad Vlad had gone for tea first. 
The football World Cup is scheduled to take place in Qatar at the end of the year. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if Ukraine qualified! However, there’s a fly in the ointment … Scotland. The only thing standing between Ukraine and qualifying for the World Cup is Scotland. They have to play to decide which country goes through. Oh no, what a dilemma!
