Union Canal Archives - Scones, history and a dollop of politics

You will never guess how this place got its name – Bridge 49 Cafe Bar? Okay we will tell you. It’s right beside bridge 49 on the Union Canal … imaginative, or what?

External view of Bridge 49 Café beside the Union Canal — Bridge 49 Café from Bridge 49

What’s in a name?

The instantly forgettable bridge is only a stone’s throw from the extremely impressive 26m high Avon Aqueduct. Built in 1821 to a Thomas Telford design. It could have been called Ristorante Aqueducti. Or something a bit less prosaic than Bridge 49 Cafe Bar! Not to worry, we take our hats off to the folks who have built this enterprise in the middle of nowhere and obviously taking a sizeable gamble with a big investment. So they can call it whatever they like, we just eat scones after all. It has a large inside restaurant but, with today being absolutely beautiful, we opted for an ‘al fresco’ fruit scone overlooking the canal while watching the boats drift by. Life can be tough, but not today. In fact, it has seldom been so toughless!

Service could best be described as ‘adequate’ and our coffee was good but the same, unfortunately, could not be said for the scones. We like them a little bit crunchy on the outside but these were just hard and dry. They were either over-baked, or, they were yesterday’s. One of the worst scones we have had in a while. Shame really because, with its outside play area for children, this is a good place for families to come and enjoy a relaxed meal without worrying too much about the kids. So don’t let us put you off. Based on our experience however the scones need a bit of a rethink.

Trump says

A rethink is exactly what’s needed after the Grenfell Tower disaster. Theresa May’s lack of empathy during her unfortunate visit to the site only served to make people angry. It reminded Conservatives that she should not be allowed out in public. Though, to give her her due, in recent times, she herself has done everything possible to avoid meeting the public. This is the third scone since the General Election and she is still desperately hanging on. It is also eleven days since the election and she is still trying to reach agreement with the ten MPs of the DUP. What chance the Brexit negotiations starting today? Perhaps she should simply restrict herself to that most wicked of pastimes – running through fields of wheat when no one is around. As Trump would say, “bad”. Or maybe his other word “sad”. The latter is probably more appropriate?

EH49 6LW teL: 01506 846536 Bridge 49

ps Readers will distinctly remember the excruciating excitement as we reported on the highest scone in the land (1531 feet) at Wanlockhead in the Leadhills. Little did we know that we were throwing down a gauntlet. Recently we received a report from happy wanderers, our intrepid Trossachs correspondents, on a 38,000 feet high scone …eh? That’s not just a mile high scone, that’s over seven miles high!

Fluffy interiors

Of course they cheated, they were on a plane heading to that Caribbean idyll, Saint Kitts & Nevis … poor dears! After several glasses of champs and having just finished watching Ken Loach’s highly poignant film “I, Daniel Blake”, about life under the Tory benefit cuts, this happened. “Flying at 38,000ft with an outside temperature of minus 56 Centigrade, and 53 minutes before Antigua the moment arrived. Afternoon tea was served – not just sandwiches and cakes but also scones! We cannot possibly formally judge the scones but they were warm, crisp on the outside with fluffy interiors and were served with Rodda’s Classic Cornish Cream and Wilkin & Sons strawberry jam. As we enjoyed them we could not but think of how fortunate we are in contrast to the next generation of Daniel Blakes”.

Intergalactic scones

Fortunate indeed! But when will our correspondents learn? If they want their scones judged formally they have to to take us with them?

Scone at 38,000 feet — A seven mile high scone

We were tempted to go one better and book a Virgin Galactic space flight. We’ve had some nice light scones but never completely weightless ones. At over 60 miles high that would have to be a new record! When we phoned them however they could not give a definitive answer on whether or not they would be serving scones. Heyho, we won’t bother! In the meantime we eagerly await further reports on Caribbean scones being filed.

In the year 1818 a man stood in a field somewhere between Edinburgh and Falkirk and drove his spade into the soil. He was starting to excavate a massive thirty one mile long ditch between the two towns which would eventually be filled with water. The Union Canal, as we know it today. Nowadays we have huge automated earth moving machines. It is quite extraordinary to think that this canal with all its tunnels and aqueducts had to be constructed entirely by hand. Millions of spadefuls mostly at the hands of hundreds of Highlanders and Irishmen.

The intention was to feed Edinburgh’s insatiable appetite for coal but today our own personal needs are much simpler because just a few yards from the canal’s towpath at Philpstoun is a converted cattle shed, the Park Bistro. We hoped it would satisfy our appetite for scones. For the many hundreds of people using the canal and the towpath The Park provides welcome respite from their exertions. Today, however, our exertions were pretty feeble since we arrived by car on our way home from Edinburgh.

Scooshie or whipped

Quite a while back we tried to get a scone here but they had just sold the last one so it was not to be. Today, however, there was no such problem … scones aplenty! When they arrived with our coffee we asked if there was any cream. The lady screwed her face up and said “only scooshie”. We screwed our faces up and said “no thanks”. However, just as we were about to cut into our first scone she suddenly reappeared placing a lovely bowl of whipped cream on our table … “stole it from the chef making a pavlova”! And, with a sly wink, she was off just as suddenly. Service, or what?

The coffee was good but the scones themselves were quite tricky to eat. They were so crumbly … much wiping and licking of fingers. Despite this we enjoyed our time at The Park … but not what we would describe as a topscone experience.

War of Devolution

Ajoining the café area is a wee room imaginatively called ‘The Wee Room’, which can be hired for private parties and in it hangs a tapestry showing Louis XIV defeating the Spanish near a canal in Bruges in the 1667 War of Devolution. Can’t think why it should be hanging here other than canals … oh, and devolution. A concept which seems in mortal danger these days given the Prime Minister’s attitude to Scotland and Brexit.

a tapestry at the Park Bistro, Linlithgow — Must have taken them ages to get ready for battle!

It’s a bit rich, when the Parliament in Edinburgh wants independence and almost every single Scottish MP at Westminster wants independence, for May to tell Sturgeon to ignore these ‘details’ and get on with the day job. Especially when May’s own domestic politics are in a much worse state than Scotland’s. Anyway, with the announcement yesterday of IndyRef2 we cannot expect the battle over the next few years to be conducted with anything like the aplomb of Louis XIV. It is going to be messy!

On a slightly different tack. These days most people would pay a premium to have a canal view but not so William Forbes of Callendar. When the Union Canal was being built he petitioned every MP at Westminster. He thought the canal might spoil the distant view from his mansion. The route was subsequently diverted through a half mile tunnel under Prospect Hill. It had to be hewn by hand from solid rock. Not a problem in those days when men were disposable. The great and the good will always look after each other. Looking at that tapestry again you kind of get the feeling they might take a break from battle for afternoon tea … and a scone!

EH49 6QY tel: 01506 846666 The Park

Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Tag Archives: Union Canal

Bridge 49 Cafe Bar