When we left the rather swish environs of the Loch Melfort Hotel we drove to Mallaig. It was difficult not to stop at all the fabulous white beaches along the way but we had a ferry to catch. We were heading for the boat to Armadale on the Isle of Skye. Arriving, however, with time to spare we were left clicking our heels for an hour. A scone perhaps?
As you can see the Mission Café has a fairly austere exterior and it’s not much different inside. It’s a no nonsense sort of place run by the Fisherman’s Mission, a charity that provides valuable help to fisherman and their families in time of need. Mallaig, of course, is famous for its kippers and is a no nonsense kind of place as well. If you walked in here wearing wellies, oilskins, a souwester and herring sticking out of your pockets, no one would bat an eyelid. Service was fine, if a little on the no nonsense side. Our scone came with lots of jam and cream. It wasn’t at all bad … not a topscone but enjoyable enough. Just enough time to finish them off before we had to get on the ferry and head “over the sea to Skye”.
Some of those can be so severe they almost leave the person find out description cheap levitra dysfunctional. Penile erection is in fact a specific hemodynamic process initiated by the relaxation of the smooth muscle in the base of the penile shaft allowing more blood to flow into the sex organs during sexual activity resulting in stronger and harder erection for a longer duration of time. buy levitra in usa It has caused a wave of dilemma amongst the male population of the world. on line cialis However, taking Kamagra in small doses and as recommended by your free samples of levitra doctor. We suspect that our UK government could benefit from a spell in Mallaig. No faffing about here, they just get on with the job no matter what!
Dornoch is a beautiful little town and, over the past few years, we have already reported on two other scones here, Gordon House and Dornoch Castle. So it was a something of a surprise when our Trossachs correspondents gave us a heads up on yet another, the Carnegie Courthouse. Many people come here for the town’s history, or the beach or just to wander among the cafés and antique shops. It’s quite busy even at this time of year. This scone like the other two are in a cluster around the Cathedral. Although the courthouse was built in 1849 it only began life as a tearoom/shop in 2013. It was named after Andrew Carnegie who was not only the richest man in the world at one time but lived locally in Skibo Castle. He was a great benefactor for the town.
Madonna and the milkman
The tearoom features a mural depicting the courtroom as it would have been when in use. Portraying some of the local faces. It’s great that as well as the likes of Carnegie, the Duke of Sutherland, Madonna (she got married in the Cathedral) and Tom Watson the golfer, there is also Janet Horn (the last witch burned in Dornoch), Bill Wright the local milkman and, most importantly, Carol MacKay the proprietor of the tearoom
So what was our third Dornoch scone like? Very good actually so there was not too much difficulty making a topscone award. Pat had cheese and I had fruit but they were both deliciously crunchy on the outside and wonderfully soft and light inside. The whole place has a good atmosphere and we were very well looked after by the staff. As you can probably gather we are fond of this town so who knows when we might find ourselves returning. Yet another Dornoch gem not to be missed.
Wonder of wonders
But what would these good folks in the above courtroom have made of the current state of the UK government? Just after the last General Election we asked you to guess how many scone blogs there would be before Theresa May had to resign. There have been quite a lot more than we had imagined. And, wonder of wonders, she is still hanging on, albeit by the skin of her teeth. It begs the question though. Just how bad does her administration have to get before she is sufficiently ashamed and does the decent thing? There are two problems a) she has no shame and b) who would replace her? Chances are, unimaginable as it is, it could be worse. In the courtroom, you can almost see the perplexed faces
As we walked back to Waverley station in Edinburgh we had to pass the Scottish National Gallery. You can’t miss it, it’s the large imposing Parthenon like building at the bottom of the Mound. As you have probably gathered by now, Pat and I are not exactly what you might call ‘mad keen culture vultures‘ but we do have our moments. The odd concert here and there; the odd exhibition now and again. Sooo, as we approached the rather grandiose home of Scotland’s art treasures we had but one thought … ‘they must do a scone in there’!
Inside the Scottish National Gallery
Once inside and as we walked around one of the galleries. We paused in front of a small Rembrandt and wondered if you might be interested in our thoughts on the iconicity of the gesture spatially undermining the substructure of critical thinking … or … if you might like us just to get straight to the scones? Okay, the scones have it! Like many galleries it is both fabulous and pretentious in almost equal quantities but The Scottish Café wins, hands down, when it come to pretentiousness. Who came up with that name? It had better be good!?
Deceased sconeys spinning
Early signs were less than encouraging because it’s a bit of a soulless barn of a place and all self service. The young girl we got to help us was not from the UK and acted as if she wished she had never come. When asked if we could have something other than a paper cup for our coffee … no, was the monosyllabic answer! Ah well, after our recent sojourn at the Wee Lochan this was a bit of a let down. It’s not cheap either … £3 for a fruit scone must have had deceased sconeys everywhere spinning in their graves. In their favour, it has to be said that the café and the rather nice looking restaurant next door, do try to use locally produced Scottish fare. A large blackboard, next to where we sat, explained it all in exquisite if somewhat bewildering detail.
Value for money?
There was only one scone left. That we had no option but to share, so we got a pain au chocolat to share as well. After we had cleared a table to sit at we looked at what we had got; a self cleared table, an expensive scone, a wooden knife, two pats of butter, a wee bowl of jam and coffee in paper cups. Things were not looking too good. Pat, however, started on her half of the pain au chocolat and was soon making all sorts of soft “mmmmm” noises. You can djpaulkom.tv order cialis online with internet discreetly without anyone knowing about your purchase. Gingko: Medication prescribed for disorders like depression etc. have a Continued buy generic levitra big hand in mild to moderate or severe ED as well, especially psychotic symptoms, maniac issues, and bipolar disorder. In case, plaque forms on the walls of the arteries, flow of the blood could be cut purchase cialis from india off or lowered. Weakness is one of the top problems spehttp://djpaulkom.tv/video-dj-paul-and-gangsta-boo-talk-new-mixtape-the-devil-and-more-with-power-105s-the-breakfast-club/ cialis 40 mgts hear as it can be a component of such a large number of illnesses.
Eventually, once I had unpacked the butter and spread the jam, I took a mouthful of scone. Damn it, it was good as well! Maybe it was because of our expectations being lowered to such an extent by the surroundings and service that we thought they were good. But no, they actually were good. In fact it might have got a topscone if we hadn’t felt it would unfair to the likes of Fonab Castle and the Wee Lochan where the value for money is much much greater – no topscone! You see, we can be ruthless when it comes to maintaining standards!
View from The Scottish Café & Restaurant
Grasping at straws
Talking of standards, we watched the debate in Parliament about Trump’s state visit later this year. It was good to see our elected representatives at full throttle, giving it wellie on both sides of the argument. And struggling to make themselves heard over the anti-Trump protests going on outside in the street. The visit will go ahead of course. At the moment, the government is grasping at anything that looks vaguely like a straw. However, it’s a pity he won’t be able to address Parliament. With all the eloquence of a football manager, it might have been a good watch.
Why do you think you would find yourself in Bathgate on a cold winters day? By accident, of course … why else would you be in Bathgate?
Linlithgow Palace and a scaupless loch
We had started off with a walk round Linlithgow loch hoping to catch sight of a scaup . Sometimes these relatively rare ducks make an appearance here. We did the first half of the walk with snow falling quite heavily and the second half in brilliant sunshine. Scottish weather at its very best! No scaups unfortunately but a really enjoyable walk.
Instead of going into Linlithgow for a coffee we thought we would visit a place called the Vu which involved a few miles of driving round the side of Cairnpapple Hill. We had been there a couple of years back and it was nice. Nowadays, however, it has turned into a wedding venue, no coffee, no scones, nothing. They told us to go another mile to Bathgate where there were lots of cafés and bars. Hence we found ourselves, by accident, in downtown Bathgate. Its a post-industrial town which is obviously still struggling with the effects of defunct coal mining. Also British Leyland’s demise in 1986 followed by Motorola’s closure in 2001 with the loss of over 3000 jobs.
In spite of the earlier claim there seemed to be almost no sconeries. This one, The Coffee Club, seemed to have little in the way of competition. The surroundings could only be described as ‘basic’ however we were warmly welcomed and you got the feeling that they would happily make you anything you wanted, even if it wasn’t on the menu. The Coffee Club, however, does not do local produce. Our scone appeared, ready sliced (what’s that all about), with English jam, Irish butter and a great dollop of scooshie cream from goodness knows where. In spite of all that the scone confounded our expectations by not being too bad, fairly light if a little short on fruit. I had seven sultanas in mine … okay,okay, I need to get a life! Topscone it was not but a commendable effort nevertheless.
The town nestles in the shadow of Cairnpapple Hill which, 5000 years ago, was home to the Beaker People. So called because of the shaped pots found in their graves. You cannot help but wonder what they would make of things if they were to make a return and gaze down on the world from their lofty hilltop. Obviously they would need an iPad or two to bring them up to speed but we think there would be some serious head scratching when they saw what supposedly educated people had made of things in the intervening five millennia.
Progress?
America tearing itself apart over Trump and religion. The EU (surely mankind’s greatest achievement in the last 100 years) tearing itself apart over populism. The UK tearing itself apart over Brexit. Perplexing, or what? But perhaps most astonishing of all for these wee Beakers would be to find that Scotland was being lorded over by a parliament five hundred miles away that doesn’t care a jot about it. As Lesley Riddoch puts it “if the UK Government can completely ignore Scottish democracy on a big issue like EU membership, does anyone seriously think Scottish interests will matter in any other policy decision reserved to Westminster?” ‘Reserved to Westminster’ means just about everything meaningful for Scotland … too much for even the most hard-nosed Beaker to stomach!
If a Beaker was to go into the Coffee Club they would probably think it hadn’t changed that much … joking. Many thanks to Bathgate and The Coffee Club for making us welcome.
It’s 2017, belated happy new year to all our fellow sconeys, we hope it will be a good one. Predictions for the year, however do not look too promising! The UK government continues with its headless chicken act over Brexit. Problem is, it’s not an act! It seems that the Labour party’s new year resolution, particularly in Scotland, is to be even more irrelevant than last year. That’s a tough one but, under its current leadership, probably achievable. At least the Scottish government is giving all newborn babies a ‘baby box’ full of nice things so that they all have the same start in life. And all for no more than the cost of one banker’s bonus. Laudable as this is, rumour has it that the Tory government is investigating the ‘box’ to see if it qualifies as extra accommodation under the bedroom tax?
swings at Monachyle Mhor
Before we all get too cynical maybe we should get on to the good news. It’s a brand new scone year and where better to kick it off than back in Rob Roy country in the splendid isolation of Monachyle Mhor. We’re here with a couple of young Dutch friends who, having been here a couple of years ago, wanted to return. Also, I used to spend my childhood holidays in Balquidder, where my uncle was head forester. So for me it was a great chance to revisit old and fond memories. Two birds with one stone so to speak!
This working hill farm has 2000 acres of fabulous scenery overlooking Loch Voil and Loch Doine enabling it to provide walking, hunting and shooting holidays. Since the old days, when it was just a farm and I used to come here to get the milk, Monachyle Mhor has become a ‘destination’ for foodies. Watch this video to see how they do it. You can even come for lunch by seaplane if that’s what floats your boat. Otherwise it’s a somewhat tortuous drive along an ever diminishing road which eventually peters out completely at Inverlochlarig, just a few hundred meters further on from Monachyle Mhor.
We were welcomed into a lounge where the log burning stove was promptly set ablaze for our comfort and the twenty minutes we had to wait for our scones to be freshly baked was taken up with playing Billie Holiday tracks on a record deck. There is definitely something special about vinyl!
Before long our scones arrived beautifully presented on silver cake stands. There was plenty jam, butter and cream and the scones themselves were wonderfully warm and fresh. We couldn’t wait to get started! If there was a criticism it was that they were too big. And there were two each!! Pat also felt that, even with them being freshly baked, they were slightly doughy in the center and our friends from Amsterdam agreed. I was outnumbered. As we have already said, the scones were too big and too many. And, though we didn’t have to eat them all, you know how it is. None of us needed much to eat that evening.
a typical Monachyle Mhor christmas decoration hanging above the reception desk
No topscone award unfortunately. But overall we thoroughly enjoyed our visit and it was great to be back in this neck of the woods. As the Mhor empire continues to expand with a chip shop, a bakery and a motel, we wish it well. It is great to see such entrepreneurial flair in this part of the world. Many thanks to our readers for unstinting support throughout 2016 … here’s to more scones in 2017 … cheers!
As you can see the Mission Café has a fairly austere exterior and it’s not much different inside. It’s a no nonsense sort of place run by the Fisherman’s Mission, a charity that provides valuable help to fisherman and their families in time of need. 
Mallaig, of course, is famous for its kippers and is a no nonsense kind of place as well. If you walked in here wearing wellies, oilskins, a souwester and herring sticking out of your pockets, no one would bat an eyelid. Service was fine, if a little on the no nonsense side. Our scone came with lots of jam and cream. It wasn’t at all bad … not a topscone but enjoyable enough. Just enough time to finish them off before we had to get on the ferry and head “over the sea to Skye”.
