Tag Archives: Theresa May

Café du Jardin

Visiting an artist friend is interesting. Not only for the range of beautiful pottery and calligraphy items she produces and sells at home and online, but for the fact that her house is on the site of the Battle of Drumclog. “The battle of what” we hear you say! This battle, on June 1st 1679, is one of the few victories the Covenanters were to have over the government forces of Charles I. Like almost every battle since the beginning of time it was fought between two forces. Both of which had God on their side. And it was fought on a Sunday for goodness sake!!

Saving skin

During this contratemps, the government commander, John Graham of Claverhouse‘s horse was killed and he fled the field on foot. Eventually, however, he took his trumpeter’s horse to make good his escape. The now defenceless trumpeter, a fourteen year old boy, was caught by the Covenanters, killed, and his body thrown down a well which is still known as Trumpeters Well. We tell you all of this simply to illustrate a point. The behaviour of our ruling classes has not changed very much in the intervening centuries. The Mays , Goves, Johnstons and Trumps of this world would not think twice about dislodging a young lad from his mount if it meant saving their own skins. Or are we being unfair?

When we left Drumclog we decided to stop off at the Garrion Bridges Garden & Antique Centre in the Clyde valley. It used to be good for antiques. We found, however, that a recent revamp of its facilities has not done it any favours. Now, it is much more into gardens and gaudy knickknacks. Café du Jardin however is tucked away in a corner and specialises almost exclusively in afternoon teas. An oasis of calm. There is another much bigger café which caters to ordinary people.

More is more

Not being particularly hungry we asked if they could just do a couple of scones … no problem! Cream tea at Café du Jardin at the Garrion Bridges Garden & Antique CentreWhen they arrived, however, they obviously could not break the afternoon tea habit because “just a scone” turned out to be more akin to a mini afternoon tea. And all for the price of a couple of scones! Scones at Café du Jardin at the Garrion Bridges Garden & Antique CentreThe problem with this sort of thing is, of course, when people as weak willed as ourselves are presented with all these extras, whatever self discipline we might have had goes completely out the window. There was a plain and a fruit scone each, plus meringues, muffins, eclairs and macaroons … aaarggghh! Interior of Café du Jardin at the Garrion Bridges Garden & Antique Centre
One of the noticeable things about this place is a wall which acted like an interference pattern. It played havoc with your eyes and inducing a state of confusion which meant we ended up eating almost everything. That’s our excuse and we are sticking to it! The tearoom is decorated to a high standard. However,in our opinion, it would be much nicer with more subtle lighting. It would relieve the ‘fluorescent’ effect that is never particularly appealing. Interior of Café du Jardin at the Garrion Bridges Garden & Antique CentreBesides all that, this was a nice quiet place with very attentive staff that provided welcome respite from the shopping frenzy going on just outside the door … topscone!

The breath of their nostrils

The Covenanters were dedicated to preserving God’s rights on earth and were described at the time thus. “They were terribly in earnest. The passion that was in them , like all great passions, refused to be divided. Their idea possessed them with a force and a fulness to which we find few parallels in history. It haunted their sleep , it awoke with them in the morning – it walked , like their shadow, with them to business or to pleasure – it became the breath of their nostrils and the soul of their soul.” Today, when you read of a terrorist plot foiled in Australia it is perhaps worth remembering that religious extremism is far from a new phenomenon. Just ask any young trumpeter.

ML2 0RR             tel: 01698 372288             Café du Jardin

Kinloch Castle

Another beautiful day and this time we are on the Isle of Rùm. From where we are staying on Eigg, Rùm dominates the view from almost everywhere. Before we go further, perhaps a little background info on Rùm is called for. Many moons ago the island had a population of around 450 but in 1826, the owner loaded 300 on to the ships, Highland Lad and the Dove of Harmony, and sent them to Canada. The following year the rest of the population were sent on their way on the St Lawrence along with 150 from the Isle of Muck which he owned as well.

A local shepherd related “The people of the island were carried off in one mass, for ever, from the sea-girt spot where they were born and bred... The wild outcries of the men and heart-breaking wails of the women and children filled all the air between the mountainous shore of the bay”.

Just deserts

The people were replaced with what was seen to be more profitable sheep but the whole enterprise failed when the owner declared bankruptcy about twenty years later and ended up in a worse state than his previous tenants … just deserts, maybe?

Approaching the Isle of Rum
Approaching Rum on the Sheerwater ferry
Alligator ponds

More recently the island was owned by the Bullough family who made their fortune in Accrington from manufacturing machinery for the cotton industry. They wanted to turn the island into their own private playground and sporting estate. George Bullough built Kinloch Castle in 1900 using stone brought from the Isle of Arran. He didn’t scrimp. Fourteen under-gardeners, who were paid extra to wear kilts, worked on the extensive grounds that included a nine-hole golf course, tennis and squash courts, heated turtle and alligator ponds and an aviary including birds of paradise and humming birds. 230,000 tons of soil for the grounds was imported from Ayrshire and figs, peaches, grapes and nectarines were grown in greenhouses.

Party central

The interior boasted an orchestrion that could simulate the sounds of brass, drum and woodwind, an air-conditioned billiards room, and a jacuzzi. It even had electricity and flushing toilets when these things were almost unheard of on the mainland. Kin

Internal view of Kinloch Castle on the Isle of Rum
the entrance hall to the castle

loch became party central for the aristocracy and the shenanigans that occurred there became the stuff of legend and drove a massive rumour mill into a state of near hysteria. They renamed the island “Rhum” because Bullough did not like being called the “Laird of Rum”. The island was eventualy bought by Scottish Natural Heritage and currently has a population of around 30. In the last couple of years SNH have arranged for land and assets around the village of Kinloch to be transferred to the community giving individuals control over their own destinies. Lets hope it is as successful as the similar venture on Eigg.

Crisps?

The tearoom on Rùm is in the village hall just next to the castle. We asked for a scone but they said they only had cherry cake. Faced with Hobson’s Choice we agreed to have a piece of cake with our coffee. When we made our way outside to sit in the sunshine we were regaled with the news that they didn’t actually have any cherry cake … would we like a packet of crisps?? The lady, seeing our disappointment, said that she could have given us a piece of chocolate cake but she hadn’t had time to put the icing on it. Eventually she agreed to let us have a piece of plain chocolate cake. It was very nice.
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Apologies, we would have loved to have brought you a Rum scone. They do know when the ferries come in (there must have been at least 60 people on ours) so it is not as if a sudden influx  comes as a surprise … difficult to explain such a situation. Hey ho, chocolate cake it had to be!

Plain chocolate cake

Just to ease your disappointment, however, we can provide some pictures of a lovely K6 telephone box we came across. It was made in the Lion Foundry, Kirkintilloch and used for growing geraniums. It is in a stunning location and has a lifebelt and an anchor decorating its exterior. Could be in line for the prettiest K6 award … unless you know better, of course?

While we were having our plain piece of chocolate cake we met a lovely couple from Yorkshire. We met them again on the ferry going back to Eigg. When we asked them why they had nettles sticking out of their bag they said they were making a ‘holiday cord’. They did it with nettles from all the places they had visited. And you thought we were mad! In another attempt to make up for the derth of scones we offer you a pictorial guide to nettle chordage.

Demonstration of nettle cording
A demonstration of nettle cording on the ferry back to Eigg
Chordage instructions

First you remove the leaves (unless you are some sort of masochist, use gloves). Then split the stem with your nail or other similar implement. Throw away the internal woody bit then let the outer fibrous sheathes dry for a wee while before twisting as pictured. Your cord can end up as long as you like by carefully pleating all the stems together. It ends up very strong. By the way, Pat got a Sea Eagle and some kittiwakes to add to her bird list. Very happy girl again.

Skye from the Isle of Rum
Skye across the Sea of the Hebrides,  black Cuillin in the middle, red Cuillin to the right
Seventh scone

Theresa May is still hanging on! This is our seventh scone post since the election and she is still there. Almost admiring her tenacity … or is it just sheer stupidity? Don’t let the dire scone situation put you off visiting Rùm. It is quite simply spectacular. Maybe by the time you get there they will have got themselves sorted out with scones! Don’t forget your nettles. Hopefully we will have better luck on the romantically named Isle of Muck.

PH43 4RR      tel: 01687 462037      Kinloch Castle – Rum

Inchture Hotel

If you ever find yourself running the mile or so from the Inchture Hotel to the train station, don’t bother! The railway is still there but the station closed in 1956.

The railway bus, Inchture
The Inchture Railway Bus – from a picture in the hotel

In a bygone age however you would not have had to run at all. You could have been transported in some style on the Inchture Railway Bus. A horse drawn tramway which ran for over 60 years up to 1917 between the village and the station. Inchture is on the north side of the Firth of Tay. It is now bypassed by the A90 which means it is relatively quiet and peaceful. We are normally in this area looking for marsh harriers and bearded tits in the reed beds on the Tay estuary. In spite of relative success, however, with the harriers, to date, we have never seen a bearded tit. They are there though … annoying! Interior view of Inchture Hotel

This is our first visit to the family run Inchture Hotel … it’s nice, in a calm unpretentious kind of way! Weddings seem to be a speciality. Since we have done all that, however, scones were the only things in our thoughts. Presentation was good and service was  very attentive. Profuse apologies were offered for the late arrival of our coffee even though it wasn’t that late. A scone at Inchture HotelThe scones themselves were delicious, not crunchy at all but the fruit turned out to be a lovely mix of currants, raisins, cherries and peel … different! It was kind of borderline but eventually we decided they were worthy of a topscone award … well done Inchture Hotel.

Magic money trees

No awards for Theresa May however. She condescendingly explained to a nurse that she could not get a pay rise because there was “no magic money tree”. She then suddenly found one so that she could give a bribe of one billion pounds to N. Ireland’s DUP for their support. That’s £100m per MP. The “magic money tree” of course grows in Scotland. However, Scotland, as usual, is to get zilch! If this is indicative of her negotiating tactics for Brexit, the UK had better have deep pockets. Or rather Scotland had better be prepared to fund even more of her ludicrous decisions.

PH14 9RN        Tel: 01828 686298        Inchture Hotel

ps: As we mentioned in our last post, our Trossachs correspondents have been conducting a scone search on St Kitts & Nevis! Unfortunately, is spite of their considerable efforts, we have to report that the Caribbean, to all intents and purposes is a scone free zone. Bermuda triangle and all that! Unless someone knows differently, of course!The Berkeley Memorial in Basseterre, St Kitts

Fountains in the Gorbals

Happily though they had their handy allaboutthescones telephone box identification guide with them when they visited the Ballahoo restaurant in Basseterre, the capital of St Kitts. With it they managed to identify a K6 … they even sent a photograph of the manufacturers badge … well done them! Lion Foundry, Kirkintilloch, K6 telephone box in Basseterre, St KittsInterestingly the large green clock/drinking fountain in the foreground was also made in Scotland – in the Sun Foundry in Glasgow to be precise. It commemorates one Thomas Berkeley Hardtman-Berkley a local estate owner who died in 1881. Even more interestingly it is an exact copy of an identical fountain which stood in the Gorbals area of Glasgow until it was dismantled in 1932.

Today the plan is to reinstate the fountain and a team from Glasgow Caledonian University has been sent to Basseterre charged with producing an exact 3D image of the fountain using lasers and digital photography. The new fountain will then be produced using their imagery … you see how mind expanding scones can be! Once again, many thanks to our correspondents for their unstinting dedication.

Bridge 49 Cafe Bar

You will never guess how this place got its name – Bridge 49 Cafe Bar? Okay we will tell you. It’s right beside bridge 49 on the Union Canal … imaginative, or what?

External view of Bridge 49 Café beside the Union Canal
Bridge 49 Café from Bridge 49
What’s in a name?

The instantly forgettable bridge is only a stone’s throw from the extremely impressive 26m high Avon Aqueduct. Built in 1821 to a Thomas Telford design. It could have been called Ristorante Aqueducti. Or something a bit less prosaic than Bridge 49 Cafe Bar! Not to worry, we take our hats off to the folks who have built this enterprise in the middle of nowhere and obviously taking a sizeable gamble with a big investment. So they can call it whatever they like, we just eat scones after all. The logo for Bridge 49 Café beside the Union CanalIt has a large inside restaurant but, with today being absolutely beautiful, we opted for an ‘al fresco’ fruit scone overlooking the canal while watching the boats drift by. Life can be tough, but not today. In fact, it has seldom been so toughless!

Service could best be described as ‘adequate’ and our coffee was good but the same, unfortunately, could not be said for the scones. We like them a little bit crunchy on the outside but these were just hard and dry. They were either over-baked, or, they were yesterday’s. One of the worst scones we have had in a while. A scone at Bridge 49 Café beside the Union CanalShame really because, with its outside play area for children, this is a good place for families to come and enjoy a relaxed meal without worrying too much about the kids. So don’t let us put you off. Based on our experience however the scones need a bit of a rethink.

Trump says

A rethink is exactly what’s needed after the Grenfell Tower disaster. Theresa May’s lack of empathy during her unfortunate visit to the site only served to make people angry. It reminded Conservatives that she should not be allowed out in public. Though, to give her her due, in recent times, she herself has done everything possible to avoid meeting the public. This is the third scone since the General Election and she is still desperately hanging on. It is also eleven days since the election and she is still trying to reach agreement with the ten MPs of the DUP. What chance the Brexit negotiations starting today? Perhaps she should simply restrict herself to that most wicked of pastimes – running through fields of wheat when no one is around. As Trump would say, “bad”. Or maybe his other word “sad”. The latter is probably more appropriate?

EH49 6LW        teL: 01506 846536           Bridge 49

ps Readers will distinctly remember the excruciating excitement as we reported on the highest scone in the land (1531 feet) at Wanlockhead in the Leadhills. Little did we know that we were throwing down a gauntlet. Recently we received a report from happy wanderers, our intrepid Trossachs correspondents, on a 38,000 feet high scone …eh? That’s not just a mile high scone, that’s over seven miles high! Boeing 7777

Fluffy interiors

Of course they cheated, they were on a plane heading to that Caribbean idyll, Saint Kitts & Nevis … poor dears! After several glasses of champs and having just finished watching Ken Loach’s highly poignant film “I, Daniel Blake”, about life under the Tory benefit cuts, this happened. “Flying at 38,000ft with an outside temperature of minus 56 Centigrade, and 53 minutes before Antigua the moment arrived. Afternoon tea was served – not just sandwiches and cakes but also scones! We cannot possibly formally judge the scones but they were warm, crisp on the outside with fluffy interiors and were served with Rodda’s Classic Cornish Cream and Wilkin & Sons strawberry jam. As we enjoyed them we could not but think of how fortunate we are in contrast to the next generation of Daniel Blakes”.

Intergalactic scones

Fortunate indeed! But when will our correspondents learn? If they want their scones judged formally they have to to take us with them?

Scone at 38,000 feet
A seven mile high scone

We were tempted to go one better and book a Virgin Galactic space flight. We’ve had some nice light scones but never completely weightless ones. At over 60 miles high that would have to be a new record! When we phoned them however they could not give a definitive answer on whether or not they would be serving scones. Heyho, we won’t bother! In the meantime we eagerly await further reports on Caribbean scones being filed.

Browns of Edinburgh

Having already reported on scones in Harvey Nichols and the Dome you might think we would be running short of alternatives on George Street In Edinburgh? Not a bit of it, there are plenty more! Browns of Edinburgh is just another one on the city’s principle shopping thoroughfare. We had actually been invited to an evening event nearby. With a couple of hours to spare, however, what else would you do but head for afternoon tea?

Browns of Edinburgh has some history for us. As a young couple with no money and no experience of posh restaurants this was our first foray into what is oft referred to as “fine dining”. Internal view at Browns of EdinburghIf memory serves us correctly we were all dressed up to the nines and slightly nervous about being in such auspicious surroundings. That was many years ago and this is our first return visit. It doesn’t look nearly as intimidating as it did then! Has it changed, or have we changed? Probably both? Today, it does not look like the small intimate restaurant of memory. Rather its, almost cavernous interior and perhaps slightly impersonal atmosphere are more in keeping with a mid-range establishment.

Culinary highlights

Nowadays, we don’t think that even they would class themselves as ‘fine dining’. Afternoon tea at Browns of EdinburghWhatever, what about our afternoon tea? Champagne in the afternoon always seems a little bit naughty. This was very nice champagne, however, and an excellent start to proceedings. See, it’s us that’s changed, we probably had pints on our first visit. We wouldn’t have know what else to ask for! Presented on a sort of chrome wheel contraption there was a fair assortment of cakes and sandwiches with two small scones each. Call us old fusspots if you like but we prefer to have bread sandwiches with the crusts cut off rather than the little mini rolls used here. Arrgghh, we have changed. A slice of square sausage with tomato sauce between two slices of plain bread used to be the highlight of our culinary lives.top tier of afternoon tea at Browns of Edinburgh

K2 or K6?

The scones were nice. When they first arrived we felt them and they were nice and warm but, by the time we got round to eating them, that was but a memory. A scone at Browns of EdinburghAll in all, this was very relaxing and enjoyable and a great way to kill some time but the scones, although good, did not quite make the grade and everything else, excepting the champagne, was just a little bit flat. The service, for example, was okay, but like a lot of places that automatically add a service charge to your bill, they did not have to try too hard. Picture of a telephone box at Browns of EdinburghOne of the nice things about Browns is that they have lots of interesting photographs hanging on the walls. We thought this one would enable us to test your knowledge of red telephone boxes. Remember we supplied a handy indentification guide in an earlier post at the Butterchurn. Obviously it is not a K4 but could it be a K2 or a K6? Answers on a postcard.

Scones as a measurement of time

Continuing with the quiz theme we thought it might be interesting to measure, in scones, how much time Theresa May has left as Prime Minister. You probably think we are not taking politics seriously. However, with Michael Gove, the only man who can instantly poison any environment he walks into, being appointed Environment Secretary. And the odious DUP in coalition talks with the government. Oh, and the Queen’s Speech being delayed because of the need to write it all down on goatskin paper. What is there to take seriously? This is the second post since the general election result became known and Theresa decided to carry on as if nothing had happened. How many more scones can we post before she is deposed? Answers on the same postcard as the telephone box.

Edinburgh looking dramatic in evening sunshine
Edinburgh looking dramatic in the evening sunshine

EH2 4JS         tel: 0131 225 4442         Browns Edinburgh

The Wee Big Shop

Well … the morning after the night before … devastation. Who is going to have to do the decent thing and get hitched? Guess it could be said that the Tories in their never ending quest to sort out their internal party politics, have led us directly towards the “coalition of chaos”. That’s they were banging on about throughout the election campaign. Here’s us thinking that they were advocating voting for them to avoid that. Silly us.  Harsh reality means that Theresa May must now seek some sort of marriage with an equally unsavoury bunch in the DUP. Itself a damaged party in a damaged parliament. It remains to be seen  what sort of dowry will be extracted by the DUP. Whatever happens it is liable to be an unholy alliance.

Maybe the answer is for Theresa and Arlene Foster to hook up here in Gretna Green and undergo an ‘unconventional’ marriage. Given the current state of British politics nothing would surprise us. When we visited Gretna we had a scone here in the Wee Big Shop. It’s a kind of tardis, hence the name. Interior view of the Wee Big Shop in Gretna GreenThe place is swarming with tourists, Chinese, American, Japanese, you name it. They are all here rushing around buying tat before getting back on their buses and heading off to buy more tat in Edinburgh.  Scones at the Wee Big Shop in Gretna Green

Runaway marriages

The café here is big as well and obviously caters for busloads all the time judging by the number of scones on display. The picture above is just a small selection. You are faced with a battery of different machines from which you know you can get tea or coffee in all its various forms but just no idea how to do it. Eventually some of the serving staff arrive to salvage the situation. Even for them it takes a while. Why not just serve the stuff in the first place? It would be so much easier and pleasanter. Scone at the Wee Big Shop in Gretna Green

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It started because the law in England allowed parents to stop a wedding if either of the participants were under 21. Whereas in Scotland, they could get married without parental consent. Also, provided there were two witnesses anybody could conduct the ceremony. Usually the blacksmith. Gretna was the first place over the border so this where the youngsters would come for their “runaway marriages”. Wedding picture at the Wee Big Shop in Gretna Green

Strong and stable

As you can see, even though we are over 21, we tried out the blacksmith’s ceremony. Romantic or what? As far as we are concerned though this would be the last place on earth to get married unless you really, really, really had to. Oh yes, Theresa and Arlene really really really have to. It will not end well. Next week, as the promised “strong and stable” UK enters into EU Brexit negotiations looking like complete plonkers, we don’t imagine that will end well either. Interior view of the Wee Big Shop in Gretna GreenDG16 5EA          tel: 01461 339912           The Wee Big Shop

Euston Station

This is not really a post. It does not contain a scone therefore it is disqualified. However, we did try to find one here at Euston station so we are writing it anyway simply on the basis that we tried. Plus it gives us a chance for a rant before the General Election tomorrow. We have spent the past five days in London visiting our grandchildren.

Normally when we are down here we try to have at least one scone for the enlightenment of our readers. Unfortunately, on day one I was struck down by the lurgy, food poisoning, Montezuma’s revenge, whatever you want to call it. All thoughts of scones, or indeed food of any kind, went straight out the window. Food intake for my entire stay consisted of nothing more than a couple of bits of toast. Some said I was even more miserable than usual. True, that’s how bad it was!

To compound matters I had five little toddler girls who seemed to think it was good fun to use my stomach as a sort of trampoline. Exactly why they thought my stomach looked bouncy I have no idea? Had they not been so utterly gorgeous it would have been unbearable.

London Bridge

Thoughts of politics went out the window as well though I did manage to tear myself away from my intense study of the minute imperfections in porcelain washhand basins when the horrific news of the London Bridge incident came through. Only a couple of miles away and more misery! For right thinking people these things are almost impossible to comprehend but we cannot help but think that the media has to get its act together when it comes to reporting these things. The perpetrators should be given as little publicity as possible. Surely the media can come up with an agreed strategy that does not feed the lunatics’ cause with 24/7 coverage.

Mind you, with a great big toddler in the White House making up policy by binge watching Fox News, that could be a bit of a stretch. We are beginning to see the world according to Rupert Murdoch … sad, very sad! Just read that a website called TrumpiLeaks has been set up for anti-Trump whistleblowers. Don’t think it is anything urological.

Thankfully, here in the UK, electioneering is drawing to a close. As usual everyone has promised the moon and the stars. Theresa May has promised to be strong and stable by being robotic, completely flaky and hiding from the public. The LibDems are probably going to do well in London because of their promise to rerun the EU referendum … but little else. At last, Labour has reared it’s head again. Although it is hardly a roar there are certain encouraging signs of life.

Scotland voting against Scotland?

In Scotland, uniquely in the world, we will probably vote to be governed by another country with mostly contrary interests to our own … heyho. Who knows why we are so utterly gutless as a nation? By the time we reached Euston station on our way home I was feeling vaguely human again. Not quite ready for scone tasting but that’s why I have a partner who can step into the breach in such emergencies. Unfortunately, in spite of its plethora of eateries and retail outlets Euston Station is completely scone free. We did try. Back home now and feeling much better. In spite of all the loving concern from others there is nothing quite like being home when you are under the weather. Apologies for the lack of scones. We promise to do better in future.

Now feeling well enough for tea and a scone. Though if mad May remains in power after tomorrow something much stronger might be called for.

Glen Lyon Tearoom

In order to explain our whereabouts for this scone you will have to bear with us while we explain a bit about the origins of photography. It will only take a minute … honest!

In 1837 Louis Daguerre produced a photograph using a piece of silver plated copper. It needed a half hour exposure  but that was much faster than anything that had gone before. Tremendously exciting at the time. Within twenty years however the process was superceeded by the Wet Plate Collodion process. It used glass plates coated in a mixture of bromide, iodide and chloride and offered exposures of just a few minutes. To take a picture you first had to coat the glass plate, expose it in the camera while still wet, then process it before it dried. About ten minutes or so for each shot and all using highly dangerous chemicals! Anyway, believe it or not, today we had our picture taken using this process, courtesy of our friends Dave and Gill Hunt at Wildgrass Studios.

Wildgrass Studios
Guinea pigs

Dave is experimenting with the Wet Plate Collodion process and we had volunteered to be guinea pigs. I started my photography career using 5×4 large format cameras but never with wet plates. I was fascinated to see the process in action. Talk about going back in time! Electricity wasn’t around when these processes were being used but thankfully, with modern electric lighting we did not have to sit still for long. Just long enough for Dave to remove the lens cap, flash, then replace it. Unfortunately, we did not see the finished articles because they all had be carefully dried overnight.

Photography at Wildgrass Studios near Killin
Pat waits to be shot while Dave prepares the plate .. developed plates washing

 

Simple explanation
Wildgrass Studio is near Killin so, after our photo session, we decided to hop over the lower slopes of Ben Lawers, on a great wee road that is only open in the summer, to Bridge of Balgie and the Glen Lyon tearoom. See, simple explanation … we were having our picture taken. Interior view of Glenlyon tearoom, Bridge of Balgie
Pre-loaded

For the village of Bridge of Balgie, this place is the Post Office and the supermarket. Though not quite a Tesco it has all the staples needed if you find yourself snowed in. It also has a good reputation as a tearoom and for its scones. A scone at Glenlyon tearoom, Bridge of BalgieThere was one big problem though. From the photograph, those of you who are aware of our proclivities, can probably tell that they did not meet with our overwhelming approval. We tend to like to decide for ourselves how much jam and cream to put on our scones. Presumably it is done to be helpful but it would be soooo much better if everything was served separately. What made it even more annoying was that the scones themselves were excellent. Maybe even topscones if Pat had not had to scrape off most of the topping. I, on the other hand, ate the lot! Glen Lyon Roasters coffee poster at the Glenlyon tearoom, Bridge of Balgie

The Glen Lyon tearoom is a great spot though. They even roast their own coffee. If they could just serve the scones correctly it would be perfect. Just west of Bridge of Balgie lies the magnificent sparkling white Meggernie Castle, former home to Captain Robert Campbell who led the government troops at the Massacre of Glencoe. The castle is said to be haunted by some really horrible ghosts. With both of us being of a McDonald persuasion, all we can say is, “bloody well serves them right”!

Half a brain

We see that Theresa May has given away her EU negotiating strategy by promising to be “a bloody difficult woman”  … does she not realise that anyone with half a brain can be ‘bloody difficult’ and that her counterparts in the EU now know that they are dealing with someone with only half a brain … but they probably knew that anyway.

View from the Glenlyon tearoom, Bridge of Balgie
View from the tearoom

We won’t see the finished pictures from Wildgrass for some time yet. But, by the wonders of Photoshop, we can give you sneaky peek of what we look like floating around in a dish of water. Wet Plate Collodion picture from Wildgrass StudiosPerhaps, if there is enough in the way of popular demand, we might let you see the finished article in a later post. Many thanks Dave for your endless patience and for what was an absolutely fascinating experience. Think I will be sticking with digital though.

PH15 2PP        tel: 01887-866221       Glen Lyon Tearoom TA

St Paul’s Hotel

What is now the elegant red sandstone St Paul’s Hotel started life as St Paul’s School, founded in 1509. Since then the school has occupied numerous locations. Currently it occupies a large site on the south side of the Thames near Hammersmith Bridge. Between 1884 and 1968, however, it was housed here on the other side of the river.  Like Eton and Gordonstoun, St Paul’s was designed to populate the government, civil service, diplomatic service and the armed forces with men who could maintain the Empire, They were also expected to keep their parents in the manner to which they had become accustomed. And, of course, keep the riffraff in their rightful place. Amongst its alumni are Samuel Pepys and George Osborne. Quite why they would admit to someone whose main achievement, as Chancellor of the Exchequer, was to double the national debt to £1.7 trillion, is quite beyond us.

SWALK

Luckily this rather beautiful building has found a renewed sense of purpose serving scones to the riffraff. Enter riffraff. Poster for the film 'Melody', filmed at St Paul's Hotel, HammersmithThe hotel has lots of beautiful rooms and, in what used to be the lecture theatre, General Eisenhower presented the final invasion plan to General Montgomery, King George VI and Winston Churchill just three weeks before the D-Day landings took place in 1944.

For our cream tea, however, we were ushered into the very comfortable Melody Restaurant & Bar. So called because the school provided the backdrop for the 1971 cult film about ‘puppy love’. The film is sometimes known as S.W.A.L.K (some of you will know what these letters stand for) and if you click on the poster and have an hour and forty three minutes to spare you can watch it. Though you would probably be better served just continuing to read this post.

Scone threesomes

The service in St Paul’s Hotel would best be described as ‘efficient’. Absolutely nothing wrong with it but maybe lacking a certain friendly personal touch that would make all the difference. Then again they can probably spot riffraff a mile off and are trained not to be overly effusive in their welcomes. Scones at St Paul's Hotel, HammersmithThey offer a range of teas and we elected, in true adventurous style, for Indian breakfast rather than English. Quite a good choice as it turned out. The presentation of the scones was as you would expect in such a place. Nice bowls of jam and cream, crisp linen napkins etc. The scones come in threes. Okay they’re quite small, and although some of them could never be described as ‘beautifully formed’, they were delicious … nicely warmed, crunchy on the outside with super soft centres, topped off with a light dusting of icing sugar. Fab … topscone!Interior view of St Paul's Hotel, Hammersmith

Meeting in the forest

You cannot turn your back for a second! While we’ve been away Theresa May has ‘done’ Scotland on her “strong and stable – I am the one” general election tour of what she doubtless regards as ‘the provinces’. Lets face it the Tories see Scotland simply as a place to shoot grouse and store nuclear missiles. Oh, and a source of funding for all their fancy London projects. She really got down and dirty with the locals … not! Her only appearance was in a village hall in a forest near to that well known Labour stronghold of Crathes in Aberdeenshire. It had been surreptitiously booked for a children’s party. No shortage of balloons then? It is hard to imagine anything more pathetic. Okay, okay, George Osborne, but at least he has managed to get another job he knows nothing about, as editor of the Evening Standard?

W14 0QL            tel: 020 8846 9119                 St Paul’s

Pâtissier Maxime

Delicate cakes at Pâtissier Maxime, EdinburghHere we are in Edinburgh again and this time Pat is treating me to afternoon tea at Pâtissier Maxime … yeagh! In 1985 when Didier Meyer won “best Puff Pastry in France” it encouraged him to set up his first Pâtissier Maxime in Haguenau near Strasbourg. He probably never dreamed that one day there would be one here in the west end of the Scottish capital, but here it is! It specialises in macaroons, cakes, tarts and loads of other pastries but they also make their own ice cream and chocolate. Their window display is a glorious confection of colour and deliciousness.  The burning question, of course was “what do the French know about afternoon tea” … it’s such a British institution. This very French establishment might struggle to pass muster?

Raised pinkies

Once seated it all started in a terribly civilised way with a glass of prosecco but when we saw the afternoon tea arriving we knew it was going to be a little bit different … in presentation at least. Normally afternoon tea comes with a fine china cake stand and equally fine china tea cups in order to engender the refined atmosphere necessary for genteel conversation. Raised pinkies and all that! Afternoon tea at Pâtissier Maxime in Edinburgh

Not in Pâtissier Maxime. Here it comes on a huge heavy multi-tiered wooden construction covered in fake grass. Tea comes in thick coffee cups … sacrebleu, mon dieu, help ma bob!! Three girls at the next table got an even bigger one that the waitress could barely carry. At least there was a nod to British sensitivity with the savoury stuff at the bottom and the sweet delicate cakes up at the top. Sheep table decoration at Pâtissier Maxime, EdinburghOnce we had recovered from the initial shock we noticed that, as well as the copious amounts of food, there were several ‘fun’ items like easter eggs, bunny rabbits … and a sheep?? The sandwiches and cakes were all absolutely delicious of course but the crème de la crème for us was always going to be the scone.

Désolé monsieur!

They were big … much bigger than they should be for an afternoon tea so we were a bit nervous about tackling them. In the end we decided to share one between the two of us. If we had eaten one each we would never have got anywhere near the goodies on the top tier. A scone at Pâtissier Maxime in EdinburghThey turned out to be quite good, a tad on the dry side perhaps but just toooo big. Fine on their own perhaps but not as part of a very generous afternoon tea. No topscone for Didier … désolé monsieur!

Everything else was excellent and the service we received was wonderful. So did Patissier Maxime pass muster? Well, yes and no! The food definitely did but the presentation, flamboyant and  fun as it was, lacked that certain British reserve. But then they are all French in here, what did we expect? Scotland is not particularly noted for reserve, quite the opposite, but these days even Scottish reserve lies head and shoulders above the British variety. Internal view of Pâtissier Maxime in Edinburgh

Stiff upper lip

Can you imagine the furore if David Cameron had had to ask the EU for permission to hold a referendum on Brexit .. and then to be told “no, you can’t”! Nicola Sturgeon’s reserve is astounding in the face of the hypocrisy of Theresa May who, up until recently, was lecturing us on what a disaster Brexit would be for all nations of the UK. Margaret Thatcher, of all people, said “Scotland does not need a referendum on independence she just needs to send a majority of nationalist MPs to Westminster to have a mandate for independence”. She obviously never envisaged that happening, far less that 56 of the 59 Scottish MPs at Westminster would end up being nationalist. In these circumstances, Sturgeon’s patience, dignity and reserve could be used as a lesson to any self-respecting Englishman in stiffupperlipness.Internal view of Pâtissier Maxime in Edinburgh

Thanks Pat for treating me at Pâtissier Maxime. You know I’m worth it!

EH2 4PA     tel: 0131 225 6066      Pâtissier Maxime