Tag Archives: Theresa May

Ordinary, Scones

Bessie’s Café

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This morning we went to the Hippodrome cinema in Bo’ness to see C’est la Vie starring Jean-Pierre Bacri. We do this regularly if we can get out of bed in time … life has sooo many pressures! A French film with subtitles, it’s a beautifully crafted and funny story of the backstage shenanigans at a posh chateau wedding. Worth seeing if you get the chance.  Afterwards, we ended up on the opposite side of the the river Forth, in Fife, at the picturesque little village of Culross (pronounced kooros) which, oddly enough, is the location for another movie currently under production.

Mrs Halfpint

It’s a zombie film called The Curse of the Buxom Strumpet starring Dame Judi Dench and Sir Ian McKellen. In the story Dame Judi plays Mrs Halfpint, the local landlady in the town of Upper Trollop, played of course, by none other than Culross itself.  A ssign for Bessie's Tearoom, CulrossIn 1713 a deadly disease consumes Upper Trollop turning the inhabitants into monsters. A few redoubtable folk, led by Mrs Halfpint try to escape by ship to France. The premiere won’t be until next year so if we divulge any more we would have to kill you all. Just go see when it comes out.

Suffice to say that Mrs Halfpint may well have been in the employ of the Bessie of Bessie’s Café, or Bessie’s Bar, as it used to be called. The café used to be her malt-house, used in making beer for her pub. And would you Adam ‘n Eve it (been going to London too much) Bessie’s surname was Paterson. You can see from the picture that she was a fine upstanding lass in the best tradition of Paterson women.

We have been here before on several occasions when it was run by the National Trust for Scotland and were never too impressed … normally when we are in the village we go to another café called The Biscuit. Internal view of Bessie's Tearoom, Culross

DIY Americano

Bessie’s is under new management however so we thought we should check it out. It had started raining so we were glad to be in out of the wet and delighted to be merrily greeted by the staff who soon had us supplied with a couple of fruit scones. A scone at Bessie's Tearoom, CulrossEarlier we had agreed to having them heated so they arrived wonderfully warm and with lots of jam and cream.

They also supplied my Americano as an expresso with a jug of hot water, a sort of DIY kit.  Not quite sure of the logic since I just had to pour all the water into the expresso myself. Heyho, different! Pat took one bite and announced a topscone right away. However, she subsequently discovered a small doughy bit in the middle which unfortunately ended up demoting her verdict. Mine was perfect, so think Pat must have got a rogue one … shame.  Bessie’s is joined onto the Palace and they do a good range of food so definitely worth a visit if you are in these parts.

External view of Culross Palace, Culross
Culross Palace
Troublesome people

Talk of rogues reminds us that it’s the Conservative Party Conference in Birmingham this week. Boris and Theresa are slugging it out for supremacy. “Fiddling while Rome burns” comes to mind. They should be thankful they are not holding their conference here in the Kingdom of Fife where, if you remember our review of the Clock Tower Café, they had their own ways of dealing with troublesome people.

Now, call us naive if you like but we always thought, not that we have thought about it that much, if you wanted to burn a witch your major expenditure would be a gallon of petrol. Not so. In 1636, just along the coast from here, William Coke and his wife were sentenced to death for witchcraft. Apparently, to help them burn more easily, the normal practice was to clothe them in hemp coats and place them in barrels that had been pre-tarred. For anyone who thinks that this process comes cheap, think again. The expenses were considerable and probably put everyday witch burning out of reach for most people.

  • 10 loads of coal – 3 pounds 6 shillings and 8 pennies,
  • tar barrel – 7 shillings,
  • hangman’s rope – 6 shillings,
  • hemp coats – 3 pounds and 10 shillings,
  • making the above – 8 shillings,
  • expenses for judge – 6 shillings,
  • executioner (for his pains) – 8 pounds and 14 shillings,
  • executioners expenses – 16 shillings and 4 pennies.

That’s almost £5,000 in today’s money however at that time, the Church and the Council split the costs … nice! Don’t think they would do that nowadays but we would still recommend that Theresa and Boris avoid Fife for the time being. Because there’s always Crowdfunder!External view of Bessie's Tearoom, Culross

KY12 8JQ         tel: 01383 247381            Bessie’s Café FB

english, Ordinary, Scones

John Forrest Bakery

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When we write about places like Claridges, the Connaught and even the Bingham Hotel in Richmond, readers could be forgiven for thinking that we only frequent the well-to-do areas of London. Only mix with the upper crust! Well, you would not be far wrong. The thing is though, it just sort of works out that way … honest! We don’t seek these places out! After our sojourn the other day to the Tide Tables Cafe in wealthy Richmond, today we find ourselves in the Kings Road in Chelsea. Home of Sloane Rangers and Hooray Henrys, but not by choice … we are here on an important errand to fix an incapacitated handbag. It just so happens that the Handbag Clinic is here on the Kings Road. Yes, they do have clinics for handbags, however, the less you know about that the better.

Supercars

Famous for its Chelsea buns, the important thing was to check out a Chelsea scone and fill that gap in our collective sconological knowledge base. This part of London offers you the opportunity to pay ten times what you would pay anywhere else on just about anything. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration … but only slight. The streets are lined with super cars … McLarens, Ferraris, Maseratis. The sort of cars that, if we were to sell our house and our children, we would still not be able to afford. Sorry kids if you are reading this, it is just a turn of phrase, it does not mean that you are not worth much. It just means that if you were worth more we might get a supercar … okay!!

It’s ironic that these cars, capable of 200mph, would throw a major party if, by some miracle, they ever got to reach 30mph in London. For most of them, that’s a rather forlorn ambition. Some of them are painted matt black like stealth bombers. Initially we thought this might be to make them invisible to traffic wardens. However then we remembered that the owners of these cars would not be the slightest bit bothered with a hundred parking tickets. So, in a way, the paint finish doesn’t matter … except to look a bit pretentious, of course, and make it difficult for the butler to polish. Golly gosh, what a laugh that would be!

The holy hour

Okay, for those of you thinking that finding a scone in such surroundings should be a piece of cake … not so! It was after 2pm but everywhere we went we were refused. Scones only served between three and five … what? We knew the world had gone mad but this surely is the last straw!

However, there is something oddly right about this. Any other food item you could have any old time of the day but scones, as befits their status of course, only in this blessed two hour window. The conversation goes something like this: Me “may I have a scone please?” Waiter “Is it three o’clock, sir?” Me: “no, it’s half past two”. Waiter: “Yes sir you may have a scone but you will have to wait half an hour.” Play park where we ate the scone from the John Forrest Bakery, Kings Road, ChelseaAbsolutely no use to us though because we had yet another even more important errand than rescuing an ailing handbag to run. We simply could not hang around until the holy hour when scones would appear, presumably, as if by magic.

Now, readers should know by now that we are not ones for giving up. However, just as we were about to do just that, we stumbled on the John Forrest Bakery. It had scones that could be bought any time of the day or night, yeagh! It wasn’t ideal though … no seats inside and the few they had outside were all taken.

Not to worry, they provided us with two teas in polystyrene cups, a ham & cheese roll … and a scone in a white paper bag … all for £5.10. We take back our previous comment about everything being ludicrously expensive. We then slunk off up a nearby alleyway looking for somewhere to sit and eat. A scone from the John Forrest Bakery, Kings Road, ChelseaFortunately it led to an enclosed area surrounded by rather utilitarian looking apartment blocks. The hidden side of Chelsea where real people live. In the middle was a kiddie’s play park with a couple of wooden benches. And we had it all to ourselves. It was wonderfully quiet after the hustle and bustle going on only a few yards away.

Trials and tribulations

The scone, which the John Forrest folks had kindly buttered for us had loads of fruit but it wasn’t the best by a long chalk. At least it served to illustrate the trials and tribulations we endure in order to bring our sconey readers news from the UK’s nether regions. Actually, as we sat there on our park bench with our strong tea and very fruity scone, we did not feel trialed or tribulated at all. We did, in fact, feel rather blessed with the whole experience. Without it we would never have discovered this quiet little sanctuary.Play park where we ate the scone from the John Forrest Bakery, Kings Road, Chelsea

Sanctuary is what Theresa May needs as forces range against her from all sides. And she demands that the EU treats the UK with respect. She wants respect from the club we are leaving presumably because we think it’s crap! In the circumstances, we think the EU has been extremely respectful. Meanwhile, no one in government has a clue what is going on. The opposition is worse than useless. As a result the entire country is paralysed in a kind of collective nervous breakdown. What fun!

Picture this

If we had to choose a picture to depict Britain’s current sEdvard Munch's The Screamtate of mental health there would be only one contender, Edvard Munch’s, The Scream. Even inanimate objects are having issues because the Handbag Clinic was doing a roaring trade. However, what will Brexit mean for handbag clinics?

SW10 0LR      tel: 020 7352 5848        John Forrest Bakery FB

ps: we did see a couple of K2 telephone boxes but were unable to photograph them.

english, Ordinary, Scones

Tide Tables Cafe

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Have you have ever wondered how many Richmonds there are in the world? No?? Well, there are 56, so if anyone asks, now you know! In 2009 Richmond was voted best town in the UK but that was the one in North Yorkshire. The one we are in today, however, would probably be voted the wealthiest.

A glance in an estate agent’s window will provide you with several opportunities to rent a house for £30,000 a month … a month!! And if you get fed up sitting in your expensive house you can catch a ferry from here to Ham House or Hampton Court Palace and look at places that even you can’t afford. The town is also in an excellent state of repair. The 21,000 good people of Richmond just read about things like potholes if they unwittingly pick up a provincial newspaper. Potholes are not something they would ever have to actually experience for themselves.

View along river Thames at Richmond
Looking along the riverside from Tide Tables

 

Historically the town used to be called Sheen. It was here that the Commissioners of Scotland had to kneel before Edward I after William Wallace was executed in 1305. So how did it end up becoming yet another, common as muck, Richmond? Well, in 1501, when Henry VII built his new residence here, he called it Richmond Palace after his ancestral home, Richmond Castle, in ‘town of the year’ Richmond in North Yorkshire. After all, if you have a lot of castles, you cannot be expected to sit around all day dreaming up new names for all of them. Sheen Palace would have had a certain ‘gloss’ to it though! Anyway, the town that grew up here around Richmond Palace ended up adopting its name. Outdoor seating area at Tide Tables Café, Richmond

Lycra land

Having said that, it isn’t hard to see what attracted folk here in the first place. Set on a meander in the Thames, its a lovely place to stroll around if you have absolutely nothing better to do. Of course, that’s where we come in …itinerant scone munching vagrants. The riverside is particularly nice, it is always busy with cyclists and walkers. Down here you cannot simply put bicycle clips round your trousers and head off blithely on your bike. No, no, no, you have to be fully rigged out, top to tail, in multicoloured lycra so that  you look exactly like a competitor in the Tour de France, even though you are only going to pick up a pint of milk. This rules applies no matter your body shape, giving rise to the acronym MAMILs … Middle Aged Man In Lycra.

You also need all the technology. A phone with a head set so that you can dictate notes for tomorrow’s meetings or chat to your auntie Jeanie while you pedal. The obligatory Fitbit is also required so that you can chart your progress to eternal life and body beautiful. The walkers aren’t much better! As befits a place where the people have oodles of choice, Tide Tables is a hip veggie and vegan café. Internal view of Tide Tables Café, RichmondIt occupies an arch under Richmond bridge next to a boat builder but it also has a lovely outdoor seating area under giant plane trees.  We were able to sit in the dappled sunlight and watch the riverside bustle while we ate our scones. If you can’t afford all that lycra you have no choice but to sit and watch?

Being alive

A scone at Tide Tables Café, RichmondOn a slightly different tack. You know how we are always bleating on about places that serve butter and cream from England when we are in Scotland, well down here the butter was from France … mon dieu! Mon dieu, as well for the cream, it was very strange, hard and crumbly. Probably because it had never been within a country mile of a cow. The scone itself was quite big and although it had a fair amount of fruit it just tasted okay. Nothing to write home about. So why are you wasting our time we hear you cry! Okay it wasn’t a topscone but the overall experience of sitting by the river in the sunshine watching everyone else putting so much effort into being alive was wonderfully relaxing. So we can, at least, recommend that. Riverside seating area at Tide Tables Café, Richmond

Back to front

Sitting here you could possible believe that all was well in the world. Then you remember Brexit! Just why Michel Barnier doesn’t say to Theresa May ” look, the UK  has always been a miserable grudging and small minded member of the EU … just close the door on the way out” is beyond us. Instead we have to listen to Theresa May saying that the EU must compromise if they want us to leave … eh, think you’ve got the wrong end of the stick, Theresa! External view of Tide Tables Café, Richmond

Extradition

And where is David Cameron who got us into this mess in the first place. Playing so fast and loose with the future of the country should be some sort of criminal offence. Presumably, therefore, he is somewhere like North Korea that doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the UK. More likely, however, that he is holed up somewhere in deepest Richmond.

TW9 1TH.      tel: 020 8948 8285       Tide Tables Café

Ordinary, Scones

The Aizle Coffee Shop

Today, we are in Ballat. Ballat is a village in northern Syria not far from Homs. It has has a population of about 574 mainly Greek Orthodox Christians. That’s according to Google. Thankfully we are nowhere near there today because a) it’s dangerous b) it’s unlikely to have scones. Instead we are at Ballat crossroads about fifteen miles north of Glasgow because a) it’s dangerous b) it’s likely to have scones.

Let us explain! The A811 road forms part of our normal route over to Loch Lomond and at Ballat it crosses the main Aberfoyle to Glasgow road … not like a normal crossroads in the shape of a straight forward cross, but rather a cross that has been mangled and flattened … you have to cross at a very weird angle and it can all get a little bit hairy.

Probably fine when only used by carthorses but now with juggernauts thundering through at a rate of knots it is an altogether different proposition … the scene of regular accidents.

Internal view of the Aizle Coffee Shop, DrymenThe narrow sliver of land between the two roads is occupied by a complex of shops called the Aizle, one of which is the Aizle Coffee Shop. Goodness knows why anyone would call it that but apparently it is an old Scots word meaning ‘hot ember’ or ‘spark’ … it rhymes with hazel … whatever! Normally we are so thankful at just making it safely to the other side of the junction that we have never bothered stopping here. The only reason we are stopping today is that our tummies are rumbling and we still have a fair bit to go.

Problem, we had not realised the time. We were arriving just as they were closing for the evening. Nevertheless, although we were the only ones around, we were very warmly welcomed. A scone at the Aizle Coffee Shop, DrymenThey didn’t have any proper food left, just the odd cake … and the odd scone. Initially we thought this fortuitous however our scone turned out to be pretty awful … dry and hard … perhaps because it had been lying out all day? Serves us right for arriving so late. Our visit was brief but we felt sustained enough to carry on our way so it did its job. No topscone here however, nowhere near.

One nice thing about this place was that it provided some light reading material at each table. Rather than our usual political rant we will just let you read our table:
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A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the M25 near London. Nothing was moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window.

The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?”

“Terrorists have kidnapped all members of Parliament, and they’re asking for a £100 million ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them in petrol and set them on fire. We are going from car to car collecting donations.”

“how much is everyone giving on average?” the driver asks. The man replies, “Roughly a litre.“

Okay, not in good taste but then again it did match the scone! We actually felt a modicum of sympathy for politicians when we read that piece. Some of them must have a modicum of sense after all. But then we saw the pictures of Theresa May dancing with some black kids in South Africa and all sympathy evaporated. For years, she, along with David Cameron branded Nelson Mandela a terrorist. Now, in the face an impending hard Brexit caused by her own party’s stupidity, she is in Mandela’s country desperately kowtowing for business. Another litre?

G63 0SE        tel: 01360 440456           The Aizle FB

Ordinary, Scones

Crail Harbour Gallery

Back around the middle of the 16th century the union between Scotland and France was very strong. It was founded on the understanding that Scottish royalty would marry French royalty and vice versa. To this end James V married Madeleine of Valois in Paris in 1537. Later that year, as Queen Madeleine, she arrived in Leith amidst great celebration. Six months later, however, she died. Never mind, within a year James married another French princess, Mary of Guise. She was shipped over to Scotland together with some 2,000 lords and barons. Bet you thought mail-order brides were a relatively recent phenomenon!

Miscalculations

She was supposed to land at St Andrews but due to a miscalculation by the captain, she landed at Crail instead. Her first night in Scotland was at Balcomie Castle. All was well however because, when she eventually did cover the last ten miles to St Andrews, there followed several days of bounteous merriment. She, of, course would eventually become mother to Mary Queen of Scots. The rest, as they say, is history. External view of Crail Harbour Gallery and Tearoom

This slightly verbose introduction is simply to say that today we are in Crail, a beautiful little fishing village on the East Neuk of Fife. Apparently, at one time, it could easily be mistaken for St Andrews if looking at it through squinty eyes from the sea. Just up the hill from the harbour we came across the Crail Harbour Gallery and Tearoom. It owes its existence to the artist D S MacKie. He converted the 17th century storage space into a gallery for his own work. Internal view of Crail Harbour Gallery and Tearoom

That time of year

The interior is small but it has an even smaller garden area where you can sit and take in fabulous sea views. View from Crail Harbour Gallery and Tearoom towards Isle of MayOn a lovely sunny day like this  it was glorious to sit out. However we were eventually driven inside by wasps … it’s that time of year again, shame.

The girls looking after us were very warm and welcoming. They took our random table changes in their stride though they were probably cursing us under their breath. A light lunch was, of course, followed by a scone which we shared. A scone at Crail Harbour Gallery and TearoomIt came nicely presented with everything you would want for a good scone, plus, a little piece of Scottish tablet on the side. We will eat healthy tomorrow … honest! The scone was very enjoyable and because of the great service and presentation we swithered hard about a topscone. Eventually we decided that the scone itself just didn’t quite do it … pity!

One of the many noteable things about Crail is the weathervane on the Tolbooth building. Rather than the cockerel of weather vane tradition, it is a smoked haddock … fab!

View of Crail Harbour
The Gallery and Tearoom is to the right of this picture

Balcomie Castle where Queen Mary spent her first night is also haunted by a small boy who misbehaved about 400 years ago. They threw him in the keep for a few hours to teach him a lesson but went away forgetting about him. He starved to death!

Bigger keep please

We can think of a few politicians who could do with a few hours in the keep. However, just when you are trying to pick one: May, Johnstone, Corbyn, Rees Mogg, Trump, Australia has to go and get in on the act. Their own chaotic elections have produced a brand new shiny PM, Scott Morrison! We really are spoiled for choice. We need a bigger keep!

KY10 3SU     tel: 01333 451896     Crail Gallery and Tearoom

Ordinary, Scones

Kerrera Tea Garden

When it comes to Scottish Independence many people who voted NO in the 2014 referendum have been posting on social media “My Journey to YES”. Well this is similar but, of course, it is more “Our journey to a SCONE”! Let us explain. Some scones can be relatively difficult to come by but that is generally down to cost e.g. Claridges, the Connaught, rather than geographical location.

Gallanach Ferry from the Isle of Kerrera
Gallanach Ferry only takes 12 people, no cars. If you are number 13 you have to wait for it to come back. We had to wait for it to come back three times
Getting there

Getting to the Kerrera Tea Garden  however involves a road trip to Oban, a ferry and then an hours walk over rough hill track. That’s just to get there … and the same back! Signpost for the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of KerreraThere is nothing along the way other than sheep but luckily they have easy to follow signposts to guide the weary traveller. Although the day was quite cloudy it was hot so by the time we came on that last sign we were extremely relieved. Stomach and arthritic joints were screaming for sustenance and rest. External view of the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of Kerrera

The Kerrera Tea Garden is exactly what it says. A fairly large garden in which there are lots of tables where you can sit and have tea. If the weather ever gets inclement, perish the thought, there is the Byre, a rustic but charming converted cowshed.

Inside the Byre at the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of Kerrera
The Byre
Sacre Blue

We were attended to by a very mannerly young chap who was obviously not a local. He was from Singapore and was studying law in London. Goodness knows how he found his way here for a summer job? A scone at the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of KerreraThe scones are made fresh every morning so after a light lunch we thought they should be sampled. We couldn’t come all this way and not sample the scones after all! Unfortunately they were a tad disappointing. Just a little on the solid side and with a slightly sweet taste that wasn’t to our liking. They weren’t bad but not a topscone. Pity, because everything else about this place is fantastic. If you ever get the chance you should definitely visit, it’s worth the effort.

When we arrived there was a party of six French folk who were explaining that they just wanted coffee because they had their own sandwiches … mais non, sacre blue, mon dieu! Perhaps it is just as well we are leaving the EU! They were politely told to take themselves off to thonder distant hill to have their picnic. When we were leaving they were making their way back for their coffee and didn’t seem at all put out. The Auld Alliance is intact!

View of Gylen Castle on the Isle of Kerrera
The ruined Gylen Castle overlooking the Firth of Lorne

 

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View of Ben Cruachan from the Isle of Kerrera
Looking east with twin peaks of Ben Cruachan in the middle distance
Sheep talk

On our return walk to the ferry we were almost deafened at one point by sheep baaing to each other … baa, baa, baa, baa. The noise was incredible! We came to the conclusion that they must have been discussing the effects of Brexit on the Common Agricultural Policy. They were making much more sense than our Westminster parliamentarians! After Trump’s visit to see May in London and Putin in Helsinki, I said to Pat “I think Trump’s a very clever man”, then, when I saw the look on her face, had to explain that I had misspoken and what I actually meant to say was that he was a complete and utter idiot.

Ex KGB, Vladamir Putin is beginning to look like the only sane politician around and that says something! Our “journey to a scone” was one of the most enjoyable in a long time. A big fat YES to the Kerrera Tea Garden.Logo for the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of Kerrera

PA34 4SX      tel: 01631 566367         Kerrera Tea Garden

K6 telephone box on the Isle of Kerreraps: This is the only telephone box on the Isle of Kerrera and as you can see it is a K6. No manufacturer’s badge so it could be either Falkirk, Kirkintilloch or Glasgow in origin. Now it functions, not as a telephone box, but as the only shop on the island … selling postcards.

Telephone cables

If you found that interesting here is another little snippet that will be of interest to all those who have spent restless nights wondering where the first subsea transatlantic telephone cable came ashore in the UK. Well wonder no more, it was here at Little Horsehoe Bay on Kerrera in 1956. It operated until 1978 and the other end was in Clarenville, Newfoundland. You can now rest easy.

View of first trans Atlantic telephone cable landing point on the Isle of Kerrera
Little Horseshoe Bay with Oban in the distance. In 1263 Horseshoe Bay housed a fleet of one hundred and twenty longship galleys under the command of Norwegian King Haakon 1. More recently, it provided all the lobsters for Cunard’s transatlantic liners.
Wilting

We met loads of tourists, some walking, some on bikes, all were complaining about the heat! They said that the publicity for holidays in Scotland had not prepared them for weeks of hot dry weather. C’est la vie … haste ye back!

Scones, Top

Ochiltree’s at Abbotsford

For a very long time we have been promising ourselves a visit to Abbotsford House. It was the home of Sir Walter Scott … poet, nove

Statue of Edie Ochiltree at Abbotsford House
Edie Ochiltree statue

list, historian, biographer and inventor of the shortbread tin view of Scotland. If he was alive today we’re sure he would have been a blogger of note! The new Borders Railway took us from Waverley Station in Edinburgh (named after one of Scott’s novels) to Tweedbank where there was a complimentary bus waiting to take us on the five minute ride to Abbotsford itself.

Scott died of typhus aged sixty one but left a lasting legacy of literature as well as this house which he spent much of his life building at huge expense. External view of Abbotsford House

Clarty Hole

For readers who think that financial crashes are a relatively modern phenomena, in Scotland it’s a bit of a long standing tradition. Scott was caught in the crash of 1825 and was ruined, owing almost £10m in today’s money, It says much for the man that, rather than become a bankrupt, he placed his income and property in a trust belonging to his creditors, and decided to write his way out of debt. Ironically, this strategy only succeeded after his death, due to the continuing sales of his literary works. Anyway, back in 1811 he purchased the old tumbledown Cartley Hole Farm. Locally, the farm was known as Clarty Hole (dirty hole) so Scott determined it should be renamed Abbotsford after the nearby ford used by the monks at Melrose Abbey.

External view of Ochiltree Dining, Abbotsford House
Abbotsford Visitor Centre and Ochiltree’s retaurant
After Brexit?

Today the house is a major tourist attraction and of course comes complete with its own rather swanky visitor centre and cafeteria known as Ochiltree’s at Abbotsford after Edie Ochiltree, a beggar, and one of Scott’s favourite characters in The Antiquary.  Internal view of Ochiltree Dining, Abbotsford HouseYet another hot day so we decided to sit out on the spacious balcony. We could look over towards the house nestling in between the soft borders hills on the banks of the river Tweed. We were taken care of very well, mostly by folks from eastern Europe. Who will do that after Brexit? Will we have to carry our own scones? Perish the thought! A scone at Ochiltree Dining, Abbotsford HousePat elected to have a cream tea which consisted of some sandwiches, a scone and a piece of lemon drizzle cake whereas I was not so ambitious and simply went for a fruit scone. We actually shared everything!

The whole Abbotsford experience is wonderful. We didn’t go into the house – not enough time. However the gardens and walks through the woods down by the riverside are fabulous on such a fine day.  And to top it all off with a topscone. What more could you ask?

External view of Abbotsford House
Abbotsford House from the banks of the river Tweed
Rubbing along

Today England is being Trumped and tomorrow it will be Scotland’s turn …. arrgghh. Are we starting to warm to the man, however?? Perhaps he is the only honest politician around these days? Even though you don’t like what he is saying, or the way he is saying it, he just says it and doesn’t really care what anyone thinks. Quite refreshing when compared to most of his mealy-mouthed counterparts. Yesterday he was saying Theresa May was a complete waste of space. Tell us something we don’t know Donald. Today he will probably be praising her. Make of it what you will. Apparently our beggar, Edie Ochiltree told it like it was so we have a sneaky suspicion that even though Scott was an educated man, he and Trump would have rubbed along okay. Maybe over a scone at Ochiltree’s at Abbotsford

Bust of Sir Walter Scott
Bust of Sir Walter Scott

TD6 9BQ             tel: 01896 752043           Ochiltree Dining

ps: A notice board on the pavement outside the Cafe Royal in Edinburgh, now in its 155th year. Scott may have gone to the original which was on the opposite side of the Register Place. Do you think they could say the same about scones … perish the thought!Sign outside Cafe Royal in Edinburgh

Ordinary, Scones

Shoreline Café in Craster

Craster is yet another pretty little village on the Northumberland coast. Its main claim to fame, the Craster kipper! They are caught and smoked here then distributed throughout the land. Here’s a question … what do you think the 46th Punjabis and the Tibetan Expedition of 1904 have to do with this village? Give up? Well, the harbour wall was built in 1906 to commemorate Captain John Craster who was shot through the heart while serving with the regiment. His obituary reads “The FIFTH have once more to mourn the loss of a comrade Captain J.C.P. Craster – who was killed in the fighting at the village and monastery on the left bank of the River Gyangtse, in Thibet on the 28th of last month.”  Tibet? … is there a country in the world that Britain has not been at war with?View of Craster village

Craster is very close to Dunstanbourgh Castle which means that it is also very busy with tourists who start here and walk along the coast to reach it.

Dunstanburgh Castle near Caster, Northumberland
the ruined Dunstanburgh Castle … built in 1313 keeping the Scots at bay
Quelle dommage

Besides kippers and castles, Craster also boasts the Shoreline Café. When you walk in you are confronted by a magnificent display of scones … good start. Scone display at the Shoreline Café in Craster, NorthumberlandLike our previous post about the Drift Café in Cresswell this place was buzzing.  So far as we could tell it was the only show in town> However, all the activity needn’t necessarily mean it was good. A scone at the Shoreline Café in Craster, NorthumberlandOur scones, when they arrived with their pots of jam and cream, looked very promising. They did taste very good but so crumbly they were quite difficult to control. Breaking into pieces when you tried to spread them, quelle dommage!

Nevertheless we thoroughly enjoyed them and, with its shop area filled with local arts and crafts, we also like the whole ambience of the place itself. No topscone but well done Shoreline, keep up the good work. Interior view of the Shoreline Café in Craster, NorthumberlandNE66 3TH              tel: 01665 571251             Shoreline Café

Later in the day we had a trip booked to Coquet Island, a must for birdwatchers in this part of the world. The island is owned by Ralph George Algernon Percy. Probably better known to you and I as the 12th Duke of Northumberland. But then he owns almost everything around here.

The ferry to Coquette Island off Amble, Northumberland
Our cruise ship at Amble harbour
Keeperless

Interesting (we promise this is the last time we mention it) that on the eve of the wedding, Theresa May managed to sneek another ten Tory and DUP peers into the Lords. This after promising to reduce the House of Lords last year. The woman knows no shame and it exposes her desperation over Brexit.

When the island’s lighthouse was built in 1841 the Duke ordered that it should look like a castle rather than a lighthouse so as to fit in with all his other castles along the coast. Perish the thought that it should look like a lighthouse! The first lighthouse keeper was the elder brother of the heroic Grace Darling. Nowadays it is keeperless and solar powered.Coquette Island off Amble, Northumberland

The list

Anyway the reason for our trip was to see roseate terns. Coquet is one of the very few places where they exist in the UK. Unbelievably, in the 19th century, exploitation for the millinery trade almost brought this elegant little bird to the edge of extinction. We also saw the other members of the tern family; common, artic and sandwich, as well as loads of puffins, kittiwakes and seals … fab! This signals the end of our trip and the end of Pat’s list. Her grand total was seventy one different species. Amazing when you consider that we never saw a robin or a greenfinch. The birds we see every day at home. Many thanks to our local Scottish Wildlife Trust for organising the event.

For those interested, here is Pat’s list: swallow, starling, song thrush, goldfinch, carion crow, jackdaw, pied wagtail, chaffinch, eider duck, shelduck, magpie, skylark, yellow wagtail, snowy owl, tree sparrow, wheatear, buzzard, chiffchaff, blackbird, mute swan, canada goose, lesser black backed gull, common tern, black headed gull, moorhen, mallard, grey heron, coot, wood pigeon, collared dove, barn owl, artic tern, house martin, pheasant, oystercatcher, common gull, tufted duck, longtailed tit, grey partridge, house sparrow, blue tit, great tit, reed bunting, sedge warbler, blackcap, whitethroat, lapwing, redshank, gadwall duck, cormorant, fulmer, turnstone, feral pigeon, herring gull, avocet, dunlin, stonechat, kestrel, whooper swan, willow warbler, sandwich tern, sand martin, linnet, gannet, greater black backed gull, dunnock, roseate tern, guillemot, puffin, kittiwake, swift.

 

 

 

english, Scones, Top

Connaught Hotel

A Porsche outside the Connaught Hotel, Mayfair, LondonWe managed to squeeze our Porsche 911 GT2 RS in between another sports car and a huge black Rolls Royce outside the front door of the hotel. Seriously, the car pictured above was indeed parked like that. However, with a price tag of £211,000 for the basic model it represents more than we have spent on cars in our entire lifetime. It does 0-60mph in 2.8 secs whereas our first car, a Citroen Dyane named Hal after the computer in the film 2001, A Space Odyssey, could only reach that speed in a following wind. Truthfully, we arrived by black cab.

A couple of sheep

It took us through Mayfair to the Connaught and the streets were lined with  Ferraris and Lamborghinis so this car was not out of place in the slightest. Definitely the place to see swank, if silly, cars. Our favourite car of all time however remains Hal. Not sure you would get a couple of sheep and bale of straw in the back of that Porsche. At least not without knocking £100,000 off the value! Anyway, this is not a car blog!

As you are very well aware we leave no stone unturned in our sconological quests and once again, as we did at Knockinaam Lodge Hotel, we are going that extra mile … entirely on your behalf! The Connaught (like Claridge’s and the Ritz does not require to have “hotel” after its name … you’re just supposed to know) does luxury rather well.

One of the bars at the Connaught Hotel, Mayfair, London
The Coburg Bar

Because we were a sinful few minutes early we were promptly escorted to  the Coburg bar and obliged to drink pink champagne and eat green olives with homemade potato crisps while  they prepared our table … nice! We had hardly begun when they announced that the table was ready but that we could take as long as we liked over our champagne. Nice again! Internal view of the Connaught Hotel, Mayfair, London

Dream Tea

When we did eventually sit down to our afternoon tea it was in the very comfortable Jean-Georges restaurant. It had a huge wrap round window so that we could sit and watch the mega-rich going past outside wondering which, if any of them, was not involved in money laundering. Afternoon tea at the Connaught Hotel, Mayfair, LondonFirst thing we had to do was decide on tea … there was no coffee option! Pat opted for a green tea called Gyokuro, made by gently steaming the leaves in pure volcanic water and promising to taste of roasted Fuji apples and tender meringue.

I, having only a vague grasp on reality, opted for Dream Tea, an infusion of the finest chamomile, verbena, lemongrass and mint … wake me up somebody! We’ve seen the correct way to taste posh tea …. you suck it noisily through your teeth, swill it vigorously around your mouth before jettisoning it into a spittoon. But this did not seem like either the time or the place. Interestingly both teas looked and tasted amazingly like hot water … but refreshing nevertheless to our PG Tips palates.

Curd, or not?

We could go on endlessly about the biscuit dogs for dipping in chocolate. Or the Truffle egg mayonnaise sandwiches. Or the Rhubarb Compote with Fromage Blanc but you just want to know about the scones. Don’t you! Needless to say they were delicious. There was a fruit and a plain for each of us, beautifully glazed on top and nicely presented in a silver basket. They were accompanied by homemade strawberry jam, Cornish clotted cream and lemon curd … fab. The lemon curd, however, presented us with something of a quandry … cream with curd, or not?

We should know the answer but, since this is the first time we have been presented with the problem, we don’t. We went ‘with’ and it was nice enough but aesthetically a bit insipid looking. Thoughts on this dilemma would be most welcome. Scones at the Connaught Hotel, Mayfair, LondonThe fruit ones had delightfully succulent golden fruit rather than the usual black sultanas. All in all it was a pretty obvious topscone.

However, we don’t want readers running away with the idea that it was all plain sailing. We had had to switch champagnes for the afternoon tea. At one point,Pat even had to pour her own tea!! In the toilets there was someone to greet you. They turned on the taps for you and handed you a beautiful fluffy white hand towel. Too much! The thought of these poor sods standing in a toilet all day, albeit a marbled temple of a toilet, waiting to turn your taps on … arrgghh!

Pouring one’s own tea

They might even wipe bums for the Rees Moggs of this world but we’re not sure. At any rate the very nice gentleman who turned on my taps has probably been deported by now under Theresa May‘s fantastically disgraceful immigration regime. The Connaught must have hundreds of staff. We met quite a few of them and not one of them was British. Does this mean that we will all have to pour our own tea and wipe our own bums after Brexit? Sacré bleu! Afternoon tea at the Connaught Hotel, Mayfair, LondonTo top it all off the staff presented us with a beautiful little box with some extra scones and jams as we left … wonderful. Or maybe it was the Dream Tea kicking in?

W1K 2AL          tel: 020 7499 7070            The Connaught

Scones, Top

The Smithy Tea Room

The logo of The Smithy in New GallowayOn previous occasions when we have been in New Galloway the Catstrand theatre and gallery has provided us with scones from their café area. We have always enjoyed them. This time, however, we noticed that there was a new kid on the block just a few yards down the street, The Smithy Tea Room. It sits on the banks of the Mill Burn, so we decided to give it a go. And what a good decision that was. We were greeted by a lady who was as bright as a button. A scone at The Smithy in New Galloway

Once we were seated she took our order. When she asked if we would like our scones toasted her head was moving up and down as she looked at us knowingly. The decision was made and it was another good one as it turned out.

Good ideas

The jam came in little pots like you normally get from Wilkins and Sons, Tiptree. These jars, however, were being recycled and had been filled by hand. Excellent idea! They also had a novel way of serving their butter neatly wrapped in parchment paper. Simple but very effective. Butter wrapping at The Smithy in New GallowayThere was loads of cream and guess what, it was from Finlay’s ‘Cream o’ Galloway’ Farm which is not only local but produces everything organically. This is definitely the way it should be rather than, like so many places we come across in Scotland, importing Rhodda’s cream from Cornwall. On the counter there was a glass urn full of water from which you could help yourself. Another great idea. Sign for toilets at The Smithy in New Galloway

Knowing nods

The owners had only had the Smithy for six weeks but obviously had a sense of humour as testified by the sign for the toilets. There was just a good feel about the Smithy. There was also lots of other stuff like jewellery, preserves and paintings by local craft people in the shop area. Remember that knowing nod, well the scones were wonderfully toasted and absolutely delicious. Definitely an easy topscone. We liked everything about this place. Internal view of The Smithy in New Galloway

The milky way

New Galloway itself is a beautiful little town but it is also a dark place!! The Forest Park in which it sits is one of the darkest places in Europe … 75,000 hectares of land with hardly anyone living there hence it has been designated the first Dark Sky Park in the UK. On a Sky Quality Meter (yes there is such a thing) it measures almost the same as a photographer’s darkroom … and believe me, that’s dark. So if you want to see the Milky Way and have a great scone, this is the place to be. Internal view of The Smithy in New Galloway

A definite lack of light

This place may be dark but there is an equally dark area surrounding Westminster. Doubt it would raise even a flicker on a Politics Quality Meter. It seems that none of our tawdry government will resign as a matter of honour. Instead they try and lie and worm their way out of any mess they find themselves in. That’s until the evidence becomes irrefutable and they are forced out … pathetic. Of course Amber Rudd probably had to remain in post in the Windrush scandal in order to protect the Prime Minister. Now that Rudd has gone it remains to be seen who Theresa May will try and deflect the blame onto next. Whatever happens don’t hold out too much hope for light being introduced into the situation.

DG7 3RN         tel: 01644 420269         The Smithy