Tag Archives: Theresa May

Glencoe Café

22 February 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Old Mrs MacDonald had just prepared a fresh batch of scones.

“Would you be wanting one, Duncan?” she asked the fresh faced young lad who had been lodging with her for the past two weeks. In the fading February light there was just the gentle flicker of the open fire where the scones had been baked. They were still sitting there keeping warm.

“Would you like cream with the butter and jam, Duncan?”

“That would be grand Mrs Mac, there’s nothing like a freshly baked scone. I like them crunchy on the outside and nice and soft in the middle”, Duncan replied.

“Funny, that’s how I like them as well” said Mrs MacDonald in her soft highland accent. She looked fondly on the youngster in the warm glow.

Highland hospitality

As part of the government forces made up mostly from clan Campbell, Duncan had been sent to Glencoe from Invergarry. You may remember us referring to their leader in our post on the Glen Lyon Tearoom. For some time now the Campbells had been enjoying the MacDonald’s scones. Little did Mrs MacDonald realise that later that same night, the signal would be given and she would be brutally murdered in her bed by the very same scone munching Duncan. This scenario was being played out in every house. The village was burned and the livestock taken. The Massacre of Glencoe in 1692 has thus become synonymous with betrayal. Even worse, a betrayal of highland hospitality … unthinkable!.

Clan of choice

The whole sorry affair came about because the MacDonald’s chieftain had been a day late in bending the knee to King William III of England. Perhaps better known as William of Orange, or in some parts, King Billy! Truth be told the MacDonalds of Glencoe, along with the MacGregors, did not have glowing reputations. Both clans were generally regarded by the authorities as outlaws and general ne’er-do-wells. It was the MacDonalds of Glencoe, however, who were to be slaughtered as a warning to other Scots who might get ideas.

Long memories

Nowadays, even though the local hotel has a sign at reception reading “No Hawkers or Campbells”, that’s all in the past. Although we ourselves are MacDonalds, it’s my middle name for goodness sake, we harbour no ill feeling. Having said that we have never knowingly spoken to a Campbell or eaten with one or willingly been in the company of one. Sharing a scone with one??? We jest … a little!

The dancing!

Anyway, all this is to simply give you a little background knowledge because today we are at the Glencoe Café. It wasn’t here in 1692 but if it had, it would have been burned to the ground. Last time we were in the area was only a few weeks back. A spot of hedonistic pampering at The Glencoe House Hotel. We explained that Glencoe was our weekend destination of choice when we used to do Spiderman impersonations on the sheer rock faces of Aonach Dubh. No, we didn’t do the outfit!

That wasn’t yesterday, however ‘the Coe’ still retains many happy memories for us both. Saturday night dances in the village hall were the stuff of legend. Much has changed in the intervening years however we think this café is built where the old village hall used to be. The big question was, would their scones be as good as the ones Mrs MacDonald gave to that Campbell fella?

Alan and Deirdre Copeland run the café and the gift shop with great enthusiasm. This is February and the café was full to overflowing . Goodness knows what it’s like when the place is buzzing with tourists in the summer months? We were seated next to three Brazilians who wanted to know where to go for a walk … eh? Just look out the window, you can walk anywhere! They were lovely people though who lived in Glasgow. They were on a day trip so didn’t have oodles of time. We pointed them towards Glencoe Lochan so we hope they got there and enjoyed it.

Egg timers?

All the Copeland’s tea is loose leaf and it’s served in glass teapots with internal diffusers and an egg timer … eh, again? It’s so you know when your tea is sufficiently infused … obviously! The scones are freshly baked every day and come with plenty jam and cream. All in all this is a friendly unpretentious place which is exactly what you would expect in this part of the world. We thoroughly enjoyed everything about it even though our scones didn’t quite make the grade.

Trust in short supply

Given the episode between the MacDonalds and the Campbells can anyone be really trusted? Donald Trump insists he has an emergency on his hands and needs ‘special powers’ to build The Wall. No one else can see the emergency so we guess it just has to taken on trust. Theresa May insists she is not running down the clock on Brexit. No one else sees that either so we guess it just has to be taken on trust. That’s a whole lot of trust.

School children all over the world are going on strike. They don’t have enough trust in their politicians to act on climate change. It’s not as if the world is running out of trust. It’s not a finite resource like gold or oil. It can be generated in endless amounts but, these days, it seems like a very scarce resource indeed.

Jeremy Corbyn must be thinking that as well with the seven MPs defecting from his Labour Party. He must be counting his blessings it’s only seven … ooops there goes another one, that’s eight! The surprise is that he’s surprised. The world is not devoid of trust though. The Conservative government has learned to trust Corbyn’s Abstaining Party to bail them out of whatever trouble in which they find themselves. Ooops there go another three, Tories this time. It’s difficult to keep up. Ooops there goes another Labour one! Where will it all end? What would old Mrs MacDonald have made of it all? Thank goodness we can trust Theresa to sort out Brexit?

In Syria, as jihadi bride or daft lassie, Shamima Begum has her passport revoked we’re tempted to ask “What about the Campbell’s passports?” But we won’t. That’s all in the past after all!

PH49 4HP tel: 01855 811168 Glencoecafe

Ordinary, Scones

Offshore

4 February 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 13 Comments

Paul Graham, en plein air on the Isle of Coll — En plein air on the Isle of Coll

One of our photographic friends, Paul Graham, was having a launch exhibition of his paintings at the Annan Gallery. It’s on Woodlands Road in Glasgow. A talented photographer for most of his life Paul has now veered more towards art. He works ‘en plein air’ which is his hifalutin way of saying ‘outside’. Paul does though! He sets his easel up in all sorts of situations and climatic conditions and gets to work, For some of the fab results see his blog. Anyway, much as we appreciate Paul’s work we were really only here for the champagne. Once that was finished there was nothing left to do except go for a scone. Okay, okay, that may seem slightly shallow but at least we were in a good mood for a scone.

Not far from the gallery we came across this place, Offshore, on Gibson Street. We mention the street simply because it was once home to the legendary Shish Mahal Indian restaurant. Back in the day, it used to be one of the few places you could get alcohol late on a Sunday evening. Typical order might have been ‘five chapatis and ten pints of lager‘. It had to close in Gibson Street because of subsidence but is still going strong in nearby Park Street. One of it’s close competitors, the Koh-i-Noor actually collapsed into the river Kelvin. Anyway, we digress!

Cursory wipes

Offshore looks a little bit as if it has been dragged from the Kelvin. A wee bit bedraggled. However this is student territory and since when were students put off by a bit of tawdriness? It had that studenty feel. Lots of folk, who looked like they had been there all day, reading books or fiddling with their laptops. We had to ask for our table to be cleared and cleaned. They did clear it but cleaning was nothing more than a cursory wipe. It needed more than a cursory wipe!

There were only rather large fruit scones available and a request for cream only produced a withering look. Toasted scones were not a problem however and they came accompanied by butter and a sachet of Nashville strawberry jam. We have only ever come across this north American preserve once before in Bob & Bert’s. My coffee cup had a major crack running all the way down but we guessed that they didn’t throw them away until they actually started leaking. I was fortunate in that mine, against all expectations, seemed to still be retaining its contents quite well.

Now you may think that this is all heading in one direction but the scones were damnably good. Warm and soft and quite delicious … even with American jam! We had thought, since they were not doing anything else right, that the scones would be similarly handicapped. However, had it not been for all the other problems these would definitely have been topscones. Maybe it was the champagne?
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Deserting the sinking ship

Offshore isn’t only where the wealthy keep their filthy lucre. It’s also where most people would like to be as Brexit wends its weary way towards some sort of cataclysmic conclusion. We don’t mean this café, we mean anywhere other than the UK. What irony! Principally, it was the north of England that voted to leave the EU. Now, one of the main industries in the north of England, Nissan, has announced it’s abandoning the UK to build their latest model elsewhere. Why? Because of Brexit. The north of England has many reasons to feel hard done by but it had little to do with the EU. It was just a really crappy conservative government here in the UK blaming the EU for its own shortcomings. It beggars belief that we are still pressing on, like lemmings, towards the cliff edge.

A plan

It was mainly old folk who voted for Brexit … young folk cannot remember anything other than the EU. The elderly also denied Scotland its independentence in 2014 … frightened about their pensions, Consequently we have come up with a plan. Everybody who is one year older than me should be shot. This plan will undoubtedly have a few critics however it would mean that most people would then vote correctly … simple! Some older friends might be saying “but what about us?” We realise there’s a downside but as Theresa would say “trust me, I know what is best for the country and this is the only way”.

In such dire circumstances my cracked mug doesn’t seem quite so important any more.

G12 8NU tel: 0141 341 0110 Offshore TA

Scones, Top

Scotts at South Queensferry

31 January 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Just when it seems that our government is hell bent on making everyone unhappy we find a place that specialising in doing exactly the opposite. Perhaps we should explain.

Port Edgar gets the Edgar bit from Edgar Aetheling, the brother of Queen Margaret from whom Queensferry get its name. In my mind, however, it is always associated with my powerboat license. It’s where I got it.

View of Forth Bridges from Scotts at Port Edgar — Road and rail bridges from the terrace at Scotts

Lots of ‘man overboard’ and James Bond type manoeuvres conducted under the two Forth Bridges. At that time the Queensferry Crossing wasn’t even a gleam in the eye of the Scottish Government. That gives you an idea of how long ago it was.

View of Queensferry Crossing from Scotts at Port Edgar — Queensferry Crossing from the terrace at Scotts

First impressions

The last time we were here it was at the Canadian/Scottish themed Down The Hatch, all maple leaves and Saltires. This place, Scotts at South Queensferry, was yet to open. They add ‘South Queensferry’ because no one, except yachties and powerboaters, has ever heard of Port Edgar. Eight years ago Buzzworks Holdings started out in Largs marina with their first restaurant. This is now their eleventh and most recent.

Internal view of Scotts at Port Edgar — Part of the ‘bookable’ restaurant area

Mission statements

Approaching from the car park it doesn’t look too promising. Once inside, however, the somewhat austere industrial exterior gives way to a wonderful warm and beautifully decorated interior. All centered round a large horshoe bar. It’s really busy. Outside there was not a soul to be seen. In here there are tons of folk all eating drinking and generally enjoying themselves. The sound of multiple conversations, the clink of glasses and the buzz of staff quietly going about their business.

Their stated mission is “to make people happy”. Well we would see about that, wouldn’t we! We’re also on a mission and, at the end of the day, it would all depend on the scones whether this duo were happy or not.

Kiwis

The person looking after us was Kasey, a kiwi, spending some time working in Scotland. She had already spent five months working in Elliots in Prestwick but while it was undergoing a £1m refurbishment the company had arranged for her to work here. Hotel and travelling expenses all taken care of. They obviously know how to retain their good staff because Kasey was a delight. When we asked how long she was planning to stay in Scotland she said “until my visa runs out at the end on 2020”. Welcome Kasey, great to have you here.
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Unbookable

We had noticed the scones on the way in, They looked quite big. As we ordered lunch we asked for a scone to share with our tea. Kasey told us. “All scones come with butter, jam and cream but would you like the scone just as it is, gently warmed or toasted?” Never been asked that before! Fab, toasted it was. As we waited for our scone to arrive we could see that all the staff, even though they were very busy, took time to chat and have a laugh with the customers. This is how customer care should be! Scotts even has an area for people who book and another which is unbookable. It’s for people like us who just turn up out of the blue. Genius!

Fish at Scotts at Port Edgar — Scotts’ aquarium

After our lunch our toasted scone duly arrived. Nicely presented, wonderfully warm and with plenty of everything to go with it. Delicious, we were delighted to award a topscone. You might think it was expensive however we had a delicious lunch, tea, coffee and a topscone for under £25, not too bad at all.

If indeed their mission is to make people happy then it certainly worked for us. We were happy, happy, happy. Not something we could say about the current political outlook. As Theresa May goes off to Brussels to flog the horse that died months ago you do feel for the horse. It must be thinking “I’m dead for goodness sake, stop the flogging!” There’s a wonderful irony in Northern Ireland being the obstacle to progress on Brexit what with Northern Ireland being a purely Westminster construct.

Happy again?

At least Corbyn, who has led from the back throughout Brexit, has decided to talk again. Presumably because no one was talking to him … hurragh! Maybe they can just forget the whole Brexit thing and, like Scotts, make people happy again. Even the most ardent Brexiteers might be happy to see some return to normality. Perhaps Buzzworks Holdings should be put in charge of the whole thing.

Nothing changes

Today is the 100th anniversary of the Battle of George Square in Glasgow. In 1919 about 25,000 striking workers, who had petitioned for a 40 hour working week, gathered in the Square awaiting the result. Westminster sent troops and tanks to quell what they perceived as the beginning of a Bolshevik style revolution. No Scottish troops were involved for fear they might side with the strikers. There was huge fear that access to Scotland’s resources might be lost. Gosh, one hundred years on and nothing’s changed!Many thanks to Scotts and our new kiwi friend for a very enjoyable visit. Consider your mission accomplished.

EH30 9SQ tel: 0131 370 8166 Scotts

Scones, Uncategorized, weird

Burford House Hotel

21 January 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

When our Netherlands correspondents got in touch to say they had had a great scone we thought, fantastic, our first Dutch scone! It was not to be however. They were on holiday in the Cotswolds and were writing from there. The Burford House Hotel to be precise.

No worries we were very pleased to hear from them so we thought the least we could do was share their scone with other readers. Their report said that the scone was excellent and the surroundings very pleasant. By the looks of it we have to agree, that scone looks good and is nicely presented. Obviously, it cannot be classified without personal testing by ourselves but given their review and the photo it looks like it’s a scone with potential. Next time we are in that part of the world we will seek it out. Many thanks to C and S.

OX18 4QA tel: 01993 823151 Burford Hotel

Bob & Bert’s revisited

We didn’t think that we would be back here so soon. However, having raised expectations over raspberry ripple scones in our last Bob & Bert’s post we felt obliged to go back, test and report. This time there was no problem. Standing in the queue we could see a raspberry ripple scone but this time there were several. They couldn’t have pre-sold all of them, surely! No worries we got one to share.What can one say about a raspberry ripple scone? Obviously they fall into the ‘weird’ category. The pink thingy on top was made of coconut and chocolate and there was a drissle of raspberry stuff over it as well. Inside was reminiscent of a jam doughnut. We quite enjoyed it but once in a lifetime is probably enough.

Bob & Bert’s is one of these places with lots of lifestyle advice. We find this simultaneously useful and annoying. Useful in the sense that sometimes you read one and think .. mmmm? Other times they just annoy because you know you cannot live up to such lofty aspirations. Here we felt we could live up to most of them. This one for instance “this is your life, do what you want and do it often” encompasses our love of scones. We do it as often as we can! Thank you Bob & Bert’s for this advice we assure you of our best endeavours.

There were others we felt we could embrace as well. “Life is simple, open your mind, arms and heart to new things“. We’ve just had a raspberry ripple scone for goodness sake. The last one, however, is probably the easiest of the lot. We are certainly feeling something! Yes, we’re feeling it!

Plan B

Three days ago, after the resounding rejection of her Brexit Plan A, Theresa May was given three days to come up with Brexit Plan B. Today’s the day and you will absolutely never ever guess … it’s the same as Brexit Plan A! Wow, who would have thought! When they meet on Wednesday we are relying on Nicola Sturgeon to get her telt!

Scones, Top

Peacock Alley

17 January 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Hello, hello, the UK here! Is there anybody out there? Has the US gone to war with N. Korea, or Iran, or Mexico? Is there any wall building going on? What about the gilet jaune? We ask because recently we have had no news whatsoever. Wall to wall coverage of journalists asking experts Brexit questions to which they don’t know the answers. The journalists know the experts don’t know the answers but they ask anyway … over and over and over. When they get bored of experts they go and ask the man in the street for answers … aaarggghhh! Such is the state of UK media and politics.

After the most disastrous week ever in the history of British politics, she with no shame, has promised to listen to others. Woopeedoo! Now, rather than take this wondrous opportunity, Corbyn has gone in the huff, refusing to talk. Over the past year he has been half savaged to death by principles jumping up and biting him but he hasn’t recognised any of them. Now he has suddenly discovered one … ‘no talks without a guarantee of No Hard Brexit’! Absolutely brilliant Jeremy. Considering most of your backers voted for exactly the opposite, absolutely brilliant! No wonder the EU is scratching its twenty seven heads.

How to spend money

Let us take you away from all that for just a moment. Today we are on a mission to spend some money. Eh? More difficult than you might imagine. We decided to take a trip into Edinburgh and go see ‘Colette’ at the cinema. The concessionary rail ticket didn’t cost much. The Cameo Picturehouse didn’t cost anything … we’re members. Afterwards we took a bus into the town centre and it didn’t cost anything either. How do you spend money in Scotland? Okay, you’ve guessed … scones. So far we have not discovered anywhere that does free scones, or even concessionary scones but rest assured, when we do, you will be the first to know.

By the way Colette, starring Keira Knightley was enjoyable enough. Beautifully photographed and well acted but, for us, it just never quite got going.

Strutting

Anyway the bus dropped us off right outside the Waldorf Astoria. It was the bus that did it … honest! On previous visits we have gone to the Pompadour restaurant but at this time of day it had to be Peacock Alley. It is situated in what used to be the forecourt of the old Princes Street Station. Peacock Alley gets its name from the original Waldorf Astoria which opened in 1897 where the Empire State Building stands today. It had a corridor where the rich and powerful could strut their stuff. When we arrived there were already several other rich and powerful people there. Things got decidedly awkward for a while as we all flaunted our rival plumage. Eventually things simmered down and we were able to take our seats and order some lunch … and a cream tea.

The station clock at Peacock Alley at Waldorf Astoria, Edinburgh — The old station clock which was always 5 minutes fast and still is.

Paul, who was looking after us and had obviously been impressed by our performance, asked us to go easy on him since he had only been in the job a few days. He was still learning. No problem, all our angst was directed towards the vast tea menu. Eventually Pat opted for Blue Lady. A blend of mallow and marigold flowers and flavoured with grapefruit. I’m not allowed grapefruit so it was the Peacock Alley blend for me. Apparently it’s inspired by the history of the railway station. Lapsang souchong, roasted oolong combined with specially selected Scottish whisky. Normally we just laugh at these descriptions but the Peacock Alley blend did taste a bit smokey with just a hint of train driver’s overalls.

The scones come two by two

We had some lunch and were ready for our cream teas. Unexpectedly, the scones in a cream tea come as a warm brace. Help, would we manage both? Initially we thought “no way” however they were so good we eventually polished off the lot. The warm scones together with pineapple and passion fruit jam and clotted cream were absolutely delicious. Topscone. They weren’t exactly cheap but you don’t get surroundings like this and the services of Paul for nothing. At the end of the day we were able to spend some money … mission accomplished!

Back to the reality and the chaos of Brexit! Perhaps the UK should take a leaf out of Trump’s book? Did we actually just say that? Lock up all our MPs without pay until they come to a consensus. In the circumstances we think that, since the experts are completely clueless perhaps the decision should be put back to the man in the street. Not every man in the street, just the one who wants to stay in the EU.

Just think! If Scotland had got its independence in 2014 we could have avoided all this nonsense. We could just have looked on and laughed like the rest of the world. As The Donald would say … sad! The sooner Scotland ditches Westminster the better … FREEDOM!!

EH1 2AB tel: 0131 222 8945 Peacock

Ordinary, Scones

The Bay Hotel

11 January 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 2 Comments

What a guy, what a hero, what a romantic! He had just seen off the Vikings at the Battle of Largs. Now, here he was riding from Edinburgh to Kinghorn on a dark stormy night to be with his wife on her birthday the following day. The Milk Tray Man would have been proud.

King Alexander III monument near the Bay Hotel at Pettycur Bay — The Alexander III monument near Kinghorn where he died on 18 March 1286

Birthday celebrations

It was not to be, however. His horse fell and he was found dead on the shore the following morning. Alexander III, the last Celtic King of Scots had been advised that the ride from Edinburgh was too dangerous. But would he listen? All Alexander’s three children died young so he left no heirs. The period of instability that followed would eventually lead to war with England. Oh no, not again! When Alexander died Queen Yolande was left waiting in Kinghorn having a memorable birthday for all the wrong reasons. Out of respect for her husband she would not have been sampling scones here at the Bay Hotel. We were however! Not out of disrespect you understand, just plain necessity!

Cream teas

After an exhilarating walk through the rocks and along the sand dodging plummeting witches (more of that later), we were in need of refreshment. We had spotted the Bay Hotel from the beach so we made our way there. It’s a strange kind of place. Probably set up to cater for the huge caravan park that surrounds it. It has a leisure centre with a beautiful swimming pool but we were only looking for one thing … and it wasn’t a swim.

A fruit scone was no problem but when we inquired about cream they asked if we would prefer a cream tea . A cream tea it was. The terrace looking over the river towards Edinburgh on the far shore was very tempting. However, lovely day as it was, still the middle of January so we opted for inside. The restaurant was obviously designed to cater for a multitude rather than just us and one or two others. A little bit soulless. Although not a topscone we thoroughly enjoyed it. We should have sat outside though … the Vikings would have!

Suffice to say that we had a much more enjoyable day in Kinghorn than Queen Yolande.

New profession

We came to Kinghorn for a walk along the beach at Pettycur. It’s all rather beautiful, especially on a day like today. However, we were not that far from the Clock Tower Café in Pittenweem where attentive readers will remember the fate of poor Janet Cornfoot. Yes, this is that part of Scotland where, at one time, all women must have lived in fear of their lives. Hard to imagine that this little town gave rise to a brand new profession … witch-pricking! The holders of these witch-pricking jobs, usually the local clergy, were responsible for inserting long wires into alleged witches in search of pain sensitivity and the presence of blood?? They were also responsible for interpreting the results. Let’s hazard a guess. If they found no blood and no sensitivity to pain, that would indeed have been a witch. Probably didn’t work like that though.
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View towards Edinburgh from the Bay Hotel at Pettycur Bay — Vie from the Bay … Arthur’s Seat in the middle distance

Kinghorn was a centre for witchcraft trials so most of the skilled witch-prickers were based there. As we walked along the beach we could look up at the ring inserted in the cliff face to which witches were chained and burned. If leniency was being shown they were only half burned before being thrown to their deaths while still chained to the ring. The sudden stop snapped them in half.

Many of these witches were accused of meeting with the Devil and, in most of those allegations, the Devil was disguised as a man. Goodness, surely not? Anyway, in 1644, Katherine Wallenge was the last poor woman to be treated in this vile manner. Consequently, all witch-prickers became redundant. Except? No it couldn’t be! We wonder if a modern form of witch-pricking has been resurrected in Westminster.

Return of the witch-prickers

Theresa May must feel a bit like Katherine Wallenge with all her colleagues sticking it to her. However, when it comes to Brexit, Theresa’s mantra that only her deal can deliver the Brexit that ‘the people’ voted for overlooks one vital fact. The people didn’t vote for some highfalutin deal with the satanic EU. Based on the garbage they had been fed by the politicians and media they just wanted OUT… simple! So unless she delivers a hard Brexit she will have failed to deliver what ‘the people’ voted for. “Stop all this silly bickering and get on with it” is what they would say. Of course it would result in the biggest act of self-harm in recorded history. Not exactly sure how they would measure it but we can almost see the Guinness Book of Records folk gathering surreptitiously in the background.

KY3 9YE tel: 01592 892222 The Bay

Telephone news

You’ll never guess what we found round the back of the Bay Hotel. Please don’t ask why we were round there. Yes, you’re right, a K8 telephone box. The K7, like the K5 never made it into production so the K6 which we all know and love was followed, in 1968, by the K8. Made entirely of cast iron, about 11,000 were produced. Now there are only 54 registered as still in existence. Wonder if this one is registered? It was in bad shape but was still proudly wearing the Lion Foundry badge. Okay, okay, we really do need to get a life. While we are on the subject The Pedant has kindly sent a photo of a fully functioning K6 in Stow-on-the-Wold. Made in Falkirk … yeagh, quality!

english, Scones, Top

Orange Pekoe – Revisited

12 December 2018 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

The last time we reviewed a scone at Orange Pekoe the mighty David Cameron was in power. He had just bored a small child half to death with one of his storytelling photo opportunities. It was only a month to go before the EU referendum he had called to resolve all his political problems. Oh, if he had just waited for the result, what a story he could have told then! Except he mysteriously vanished and hasn’t been seen since?

Plonkers

We have come to the conclusion that the subsidies that schools like Eton, Harrow and Westminster enjoy should be withdrawn. They are supposed to produce fine upstanding leaders to rule over us and set an example to us ordinary folk who cannot afford such an elite education. Their primary purpose, of course, is to maintain the system whereby the country’s wealth is retained by them. In recent years, or perhaps always, they have failed completely in this relatively simply task. Instead they have produced a long line of plonkers. Plonkers or not, credit where credit’s due, they have managed to retain their wealth. Stop the privileges for the privileged we say! Radical or what?

Anyway, enough of that. London is awash with eating places. Sometimes, however, in such cosmopolitan surroundings, a simple scone can be surprisingly difficult to find. As you know we have reviewed upmarket Claridge’s and top of the range Connaught but our favourite remains this tiny tea house in Barnes. It’s friendly and informal atmosphere is very reassuring. It’s always nice to be greeted with “just the usual” when you walk in after not having been near the place for months. Naturally it serves wonderful food and, of course, a wide range of teas. We come here a lot for breakfast but, since the last review was three years ago, we thought we should check the scones again on your behalf.

There was no need to worry our fruit scone came just as it had the last time, deliciously warm and with lots of everything to go with it. Ten out of ten for consistency and absolutely no problem awarding a topscone.

Panto

Orange Pekoe revisited means we are just a short hop up the Thames from the Palace of Westminster and coming up to Christmas it’s panto time again. Never mind Aladdin and Cinderella though the best pantomime this year is definitely here at Westminster … “will she, won’t she?”, “they’re behind you”! Our politics is all happening in typically chaotic pantomime fashion, only with none of the humour! No matter what the result is of tonight’s vote of no confidence in Theresa May, the Brexit pantomime looks set to continue indefinitely. Thank you Orange Pekoe for providing a strong and stable oasis of calm.

SW13 0PX tel: 020 88766070 www.orangepekoeteas.com

Ordinary, Scones

Jamesfield Farm

5 December 2018 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Jamesfield Farm is not in a part of the country we visit often. It’s not often we drive along the the south side of the river Tay, however, today is an exception. We ended up here at Elcho Castle but it was shut for the winter!

External view of Elcho Castle — Elcho Castle, built in 1560 as the family seat of the Wemyss family

No worries, Elcho is not the main reason we are here. Acting on a tip-off from our Trossachs correspondents, we were actually looking for a very rare K3 telephone box. One of only two left in the UK and the other one is in a museum.

Rarities in Rhynd

Apologies but scone purists will simply have to bear with us. Since we seem to have acquired a fair number of scone/telephone box enthusiasts, we feel we have to try and cater to everyone. Fear not, we will get to the scones! Just up the road from the castle we found our K3 outside the old post office house in the tiny hamlet of Rhynd. Not only was the box open, it was in perfect working order!

wide and close up view of K3 telephone box at Rhynd — This K3 has a preservation order and is one of only two left in the UK

This was probably more to do with the preservation order it enjoys rather than the need for functioning public telecommunications in Rhynd. All K3s were made of concrete with teak doors and like the K1 and the K5 were painted cream with red windows. Rather oddly the K3 was introduced in 1929 … after the K4?? The K2 was deemed too expensive to install outside of London so this little box may have been one of the first in Scotland. If you are looking for a K3, however, and can’t make it to Rhynd your best bet is probably to take a holiday in Portugal where they are still fairly numerous.

Ducks and geese

Anyway, all this excitement, rather predictably, created hunger pangs that simply couldn’t be ignored. Not far from Rhynd we came across Jamesfield Farm Shop and Restaurant which prides itself on having been organic for the past thirty years. Some of these farm shops seem to be housed in fairly industrial looking buildings and this one is no exception. In the title picture the restaurant is located in the distance behind the roosters.

View from the Jamesfield Farm restaurant near Perth — View looking north from the restaurant

On the plus side, the grounds have been landscaped quite nicely with several ponds for ducks and geese. The restaurant itself is big and rather utilitarian but they did have a good range of scones and the service was very friendly and welcoming.

Since we were having some lunch as well we eventually decided on one of their large cherry scones to share. Jamesfield is a great example of a family owned farming business that has had to diversify to survive. With their restaurant, shop and garden centre, they do it very well. What effect withdrawal from the EU’s Common Agricultural Policy will have on farming remains to be seen but we suspect that it won’t be for the better. Given our government’s constant carping about the cost of the CAP, they are hardly likely to be more generous once it’s gone. If scones are anything to go by, however, Jamesfield will do okay no matter what happens. As well as producing lots of fruit and vegetables they do all their own baking. Although our cherry scone wasn’t a topscone, it was very enjoyable nevertheless.

Soap operas

Never thought we would see the day that ‘Live in Parliament’ would threaten to overtake Coronation Street’s viewing figures. It is fast becoming debatable which is the most riveting soap.

External view of the entrance to the Jamesfield Farm restaurant near Perth — Entrance to the shop and restaurant

The government defeated three times within an hour and held in contempt for the first time in history. Wow, and, like Coronation Street, this is real life! Simultaneously, Theresa May maintains her mantra. The answer to every single question of the past two months “I alone know what is best for everyone”. When she explicitly says that she knows what is best for the people of Scotland she doesn’t seem to have any inkling of how insulting that is. The country that voted overwhelmingly to not do what she wants to do. Thank goodness for Dominic Grieve who has perhaps made it possible to rest power away from the May dictatorship. If we weren’t so irritatingly polite in this country we would have a gilet jaune movement too.

KY14 6EW tel: 01738 850498 Jamesfield Farm Restaurant

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Vane Farm Café

1 November 2018 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

.As relatively keen birdwatchers we have been to this RSPB Reserve and Vane Farm Café at Loch Leven many times before however it’s been a couple of years since our last visit. The same cannot be said of around 30,000 geese that fly in from Greenland, Siberia and Iceland at this time every year.

Birdwatchers at Vane Farm Nature Reserve Café at Loch Leven — looking for Egbert

Egbert

It is amazing to think that these large birds can undertake such lengthy and arduous journeys. When they all take flight together, it’s an awsome sight. Vane Farm is a great place to see all sorts of birds and we had a great time, with our mini-person from the Grand Café post visiting all three hides down near the water’s edge. Lots of ducks, moorhens, coots and pheasants but the star of the show was Egbert. He’s a little egret who has made his home here for the past few years.

Skeleton’s heads

Most of our time however was spent looking for skeleton’s heads and scary spiders in a kiddie’s event which meant that we had to cover the entire reserve ticking off ‘finds’ on a sheet of paper. Great fun but it’s not too long, on a fairly brisk day, before rumbling tums are calling us back to the café area.

Exterior view of Vane Farm Nature Reserve at Loch Leven — Engineering works

Currently there is major engineering works going on around the shop and café area to make the hides wheelchair accessible. It is causing a few temporary problems for traffic on the main road as well as walkers and cyclists. By the looks of things it will soon be finished. The café above the shop is kitted out with several telescopes at a large observation window.

View from Vane Farm Nature Reserve Café at Loch Leven — They’re too far away!!!

Kids get the chance to see some of the wildlife, up close, without having to brave the elements. Typically the café is populated by folks with massive lenses on their cameras or mega telescopes slung over their shoulders. We only had our little binoculars …. amateurs! After an excellent light lunch we eventually got to our fruit scones. There was no cream but they did come with plenty butter and jam. We thoroughly enjoyed everything we had but no topscone today.

Errant nobility

Munching a scone and looking out from the cafe across Loch Leven you can clearly see Castle Island. The castle dates from 1257 and over the years has functioned as a home, a garden ornament ( a recent owner designed his entire garden on the shores of Loch Leven around the view of the castle) and on many occasions as a prison for errant nobility. It’s most illustrious prisoner was, of course, Mary Queen of Scots. In 1565 the 21 year old Mary visited the castle as a guest of Sir William Douglas, little knowing that within two years she would be incarcerated there.

Beheadings

She had already been Queen of France and her relatively short stay on this island was to be no less eventful. She recovered from a suspected poisoning attempt, miscarried twins, made several escape bids and was forced to abdicate her throne. Not much time for scones then? She escaped with the assistance of her jailers only to spend the rest of her life imprisoned in other castles. Eventually her cousin, Elizabeth I of England, on Trumped up charges (couldn’t resist the capital T) ordered her to be beheaded at the tender age of forty four. If Theresa May had the powers Elizabeth had back then how many headless politicians would be lying around today? She would be knee deep! Sorry, forgot that most of them are acting like headless chickens anyway without Theresa having any such powers.

Wizard’s wand

More importantly we found all the items in the game except the witches wand. We had to backtrack almost the whole way to find it! Won a lollipop though!

KY13 9LX tel: 01577 862355 Vane Farm Nature Reserve

Scones, Top

Mason Belles Kitchen

16 October 2018 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

At the end of an alleyway in Linlithgow there is this little plaque, about 15cms in diameter. It’s a depiction of Linlithgow’s town motto – ‘St Michael is Kind to Strangers’. A bit odd, you might think, as a town motto. However, St Michael, in his main role as chief opponent of Satan, seems to have been a general all round good guy. Probably still best known as the patron saint of Marks & Spencers, he was also written about in both the Old and New Testaments, the Hebrew bible and the Quran. And, apparently he still looks after the inhabitants of this town and its strangers to this very day. So that’ll be us then!

Love affair

Would he be kind enough to help us find a decent scone? The alleyway was leading us in a definite direction so perhaps his hand was upon us? Actually, after our recent afternoon tea at One Devonshire, we could have had another here at Mason Belles were it not for the fact that we just walked in off the street without any advanced notice. Not that we could have given them much notice anyway. It’s only a few days since they opened their doors to the public. Formerly called Livingstone’s, one of our favourite restaurants, until it closed a year or so ago. We could just hop on the train for the ten minute ride from Falkirk and voila, we were here! Livingstone’s was also responsible for introducing us to Angus the Bull cabernet sauvignon. An ongoing love affair … but that’s all history.

Now it has been reincarnated by Linsey Scott, a delightful lady with many years experience in some of Scotland’s best restaurants. Mason Belles Kitchen is her first venture on her own. It is set well off the street in a garden area which is usually alive with squirrels, rabbits and birds but today it was quiet. Probably because the animals had more sense than us, coming out in the rain. Inside though, not only was it dry but warm and welcoming as well.

Rather randomly, the first people we met were old work colleagues we hadn’t seen in ages … brill! The girl looking after us had fairly obviously only been in the job for a few days, or maybe even a few hours. She had to go off and seek answers to all our questions but she did it beautifully. Turned out they only had plain scones so that simplified decision making immensely. Our friends ended up with strawberry scones … scones preloaded with cream and slices of fresh strawberry. It wasn’t what they had asked for but, since they looked so nice, they just accepted and enjoyed them nevertheless.

Divine help

We tend to like quite small scones and these fitted the bill perfectly. Small but delicious and accompanied by fabulous blackcurrant jam and a lovely copper pot of cream. The coffee was excellent as well. Another special blend from our favourite coffee company, Henry’s. What more could we ask for? St Michael had indeed been extremely kind, not only finding our long lost friends, but a topscone as well! With divine help like this, Linsey and her team can’t help but flourish.

Interior view of Mason Belles Kitchen, Linlithgow — Part of the dining room

Obviously the main church in town is St Michael’s, where Mary Queen of Scots was christened. It had been around since 1138 as a Catholic church but shortly after the christening it was ransacked by Protestants. They eventually repaired the church and have used it as their own ever since. The Protestant church took their role as guardians of the town’s morality very seriously.

Repeatedly Eurupean

The church had a repentance stool on which transgressors guilty of drunkeness, adultery or whistling would have to sit in full view of the entire congregation. Repeat offenders were chained by the neck at the church door. Oh, those were the days! We are pretty sure that Theresa May would have Michel Barnier sat on the repentance stool for daring to defy the mighty United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Meanwhile Jean Claude Juncker’s neck would be in irons at the door … just for being repeatedly European! Theresa’s now gaining a pitying respect from the public who always like an underdog. As a kind of ‘billy no mates’ … watching her perform is kind of embarrassing. Like sitting by a guillotine of old, where you can’t bear to look but can’t help it either. She needs to get St Michael onside!EH49 7AE 01506 843867 Mason Belles FB

ps: JOGLE friends (John o’Groats to Land’s End) walkers and are nearing the end of their incredible journey. You can follow their adventures at: heatherstevesduncansbyheadtolandsend.wordpress.com

Highland hospitality

Clan of choice

Long memories

The dancing!

Egg timers?

Trust in short supply

Cursory wipes

Deserting the sinking ship

A plan

First impressions

Mission statements

Kiwis

Unbookable

Happy again?

Nothing changes

Bob & Bert’s revisited

Plan B

How to spend money

Strutting

The scones come two by two

Birthday celebrations

Cream teas

New profession

Return of the witch-prickers

Telephone news

Plonkers

Panto

Rarities in Rhynd

Ducks and geese

Soap operas

Egbert

Skeleton’s heads

Errant nobility

Beheadings

Wizard’s wand

Love affair

Divine help

Repeatedly Eurupean

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics