Tag Archives: Theresa May

Scones, topweird

Greens at the Courthouse

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Although this post comes from Greens at the Courthouse in Dornoch our target destination for today was the little village of Embo in Sutherland and yet another beach.

The beach at Embo
Part of the beach at Embo

In 1245 the Battle of Embo took place here between the Scots and the Vikings. Honestly, if you have to have a battle this is a great place to have one … there must have been a lot of kicking sand in faces. And in 1988, without a drop of blood being shed, Embo declared itself independent from the rest of the UK. They even issued their own currency, the Cuddie (two Cuddies to the Pound). Okay it was only for one day and it was to raise funds to create a community centre. Scotland could learn a thing or two from Embo but, of course, our currency is destined to be the smackeroonie!

Sconeless Granny?

Embo is where Grannie’s Heilan’ Hame is and if ever there was a place guaranteed to provide a good scone this has to be it … surely? The granny in question was Kate Mackay who, in 1952, went to live in Boston USA. The well known song reflects on visits to her Embo home. To hear a rousing version click here.

   Where the heather bells are blooming, just outside Grannie’s door,
   Where as laddies there we played, in days of long ago.
   ‘Neath the shadow of Ben Braggie and Golspie’s lordly stane.
   How I wish that I could see my Grannie’s Hielan’ Hame.

Grannie's Heilan' Hame in Embo
Grannie’s Heilan’ Hame is now much extended at the centre of a huge caravan park

When we went to the restaurant to ask if they had any scones or cakes we were informed “No the closest we would have to scones or cakes is toast“… what? Don’t think granny would have been too happy about that. Crest fallen we retreated a mile down the beach to Dornoch and Greens at the Courthouse.

A pirate ship in Embo
Before leaving Embo we managed to board a pirate ship … mega exciting!
The milkman

We were here in 2017 when it was called the Carnegie Courthouse. Apparently the combined problems of Brexit and COVID were too much for the previous owners. Since earlier this year it is under new management. Still looks pretty much the same with its large painting on the back wall of the courthouse in action. Madonna had her son, Rocco, christened directly across the street in Dornoch Cathedral and then got married to Guy Ritchie the following day in nearby Skibo Castle. They are both featured as well as a host of other celebrities including the local milkman.Internal view of Greens at the Courthouse

If you remember, our previous scone was at the Rosemarkie Beach Cafe and it was white chocolate and cranberry. Here it was white chocolate and cherry. Is there  a white chocolate theme going on up here in the Highlands? 

Premierships measured in scones

We’ve actually had a few other Dornoch scones at Gordon House and Dornoch Castle but back, when we were last here in late 2017, we were contemplating how many more scones we could write before Theresa May’s eventual demise. She was definitely on a shaky peg at that time but nevertheless she lasted longer than expected largely because there was no one of any merit to follow her. Boris Johnson amply proved that point by following her! Likewise he lasted longer than expected because there still wasn’t anyone of merit in the Tory party but eventually he became too much an embarrassment even for them. He was followed by Liz Truss and we only managed to write one scone before she was out on her ear after a couple of weeks. She will always be remembered as the proud owner of that record … One Scone Liz.

A scone at Greens at the CourthouseOur scone fell into the weird scone category but was really good. Even Pat, definitely sceptical at first, ended up heaping praise on it. She wouldn’t normally contemplate anything to do with cherries. I always have to eat the cherry on top of her empire biscuits. That’s fairly typical of the hardships we endure together. A topweird scone was eventually awarded … well done Greens at the Courthouse.

We paid for our scone contactless but can’t wait to pay for them in smackeroonies! 

IV25 3SD       tel: 01862 811241        Greens at the Courthouse

///slacker.estuaries.flipping

 

Ordinary, Scones

Delivino

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Today we are at Delivino in Auchterarder but normally you would find us at its sister restaurant, Canada Wood. It’s only a short walk from our house. They also have the original Delivino in Crieff which opened in 2006. It’s always a good sign when you see restaurants like this expanding. Usually, it means they’re getting things right.Logo of Delivino, Auchterarde
 
We like Canada Wood and have reviewed it three times but so far a topscone has eluded them. This Auchterarder venture opened in 2014 so maybe they would be better here? Their blurb says they “champion the sound food philosophy of Spain, Italy and southern France” … no mention of scones? However, they do have a lovely selection of wines from all of these countries.
 
Wonky Scottish weather
You know you are in Auchterarder, home of Gleneagles Hotel, when you look down the street and every second parked car is a Range Rover, many with horse boxes attached. At Delivino we were welcomed in out of the rain which, so far, had been making the day very Scottish. Having said that the weather for November, has been unusually mild. Not quite t-shirt weather but definitely unseasonably warm. COP27 in Egypt is supposed to restore our weather to it its normal Scottishishness but so far all we have heard is the usual platitudes they trotted out last year at COP26 in Glasgow. In the meantime it looks like Scotland, for the foreseeable future, might become more Mediterraneanish. “Taps aff”, all year?
 
A scone at Delivini, AuchterarderAfter an absolutely delicious lunch we had ordered a fruit scone to share. It came with two plates. Always good when you don’t have to ask for another plate when you are sharing. Cream, however, wasn’t and option and the jam was English and the butter was Irish?? We won’t bore you with our comments about that, you already know! The scone itself was actually very good but considering everything else, it definitely fell short of a topscone.
 
Internal view of Delivino, Auchterarde
Records broken left right and centre
We are now on our third Prime Minister this year! They should fit No10 with a revolving door! Hopes were high that it would be third time lucky but no. This government is proving to be just as chaotic as the previous ones. In a previous post from the Cross Keys in Kelso we said Suella Braverman was the shortest serving  Home Secretary ever. She managed to get sacked for security breaches after just 43 days. That claim has since been overtaken by Grant Schapps who managed only six days before being replaced by, you’ll never guess … Suella Braverman. In the past week she has managed to make over three thousand immigrants vanish into tin air from the Manston processing centre. What a woman!
 
Gavin Williamson  lasted almost two weeks as Minister without Portfolio (is that really a job?). He had already been sacked by both Boris Johnson and Theresa May. Liz Truss would probably have hired him and sacked him as well if she had held her post as PM long enough.  In spite of sacking him, Boris gave Gavin a knighthood … brilliant! And the former Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, is now in the Australian jungle munching witchetty grubs … business as usual at Westminster then!
Topnotch

Okay the scone at Delivino wasn’t quite topnotch but everything else was. We are looking forward to visiting the Crieff venue in the not too distant future.

PH3 1DF      tel: 01764 660033       Delivino

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island, Ordinary, Scones

Isle of Harris Distillery – Again

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We know, we know, we should be out looking for new scones now that coronavirus restrictions have been relaxed. We should be endeavouring to broaden your sconological knowledge. That’s as may be, however, we don’t feel particularly adventurous just yet. There’s still a lot of COVID uncertainty. And in addition, our daughter came up from London on the train with her family then stole our car. In fact, our car may well be parked outside the Isle of Harris Distillery as we speak. We, on the other hand, are quite definitely parked in Falkirk. In other words, our scone adventuring is somewhat curtailed for the next couple of weeks.

Morar beach 2020
Our grandaughter yesterday on Morar beach on her way to the Isle of Harris

Although this was originally posted only last year when Theresa May was still striving to get her Brexit Bill through parliament, it seems like ancient history now. Nevertheless, these times that seemed particularly torrid at the time now seem of little consequence compared to what is happening this year. So let’s go back to when life was much simpler.

You all know by now that scones are our main objective where ever we go. However, sometimes it’s not as easy as you might imagine. Distractions abound e.g. sheds, eagles … distilleries! If we can’t find one to live in we feel somewhat obliged to visit them … it’s the decent thing to do. A bottle of Isle of Harris ginMaybe it’s just a Scottish thing, who knows? Anyway, this long-winded preamble is simply trying to let you know that we are in another distillery – the Isle of Harris Distillery. Like Raasay, this is another new kid on the block. It hasn’t actually produced any whisky yet but in the meantime, it’s producing lots of gin.

The old-established distilleries don’t bother with gin and probably look down their noses at those that do. However, for these new ones, cash flow is of paramount importance and ten years is a long time to wait for a return on your investment. Gin, on the other hand, you can make in a couple of days.

Sugar Kelp

Because of this, there are dedicated gin distilleries popping up all over Scotland … about 70 at the last count and they join 125 whisky distilleries. We also hadn’t realised until recently that the big well-known gins like Gordons, Hendricks and Tanquery are all produced in Scotland as well. That’s a lot of gin! They all claim to use their own unique blend of botanicals to flavour their products. On Harris, they use locally harvested sugar kelp … whatever? As long as they keep it well away from the whisky!Internal view of Isle of Harris Distillery in Tarbert

 

 

 

 

Mairi Mackenzie

Being only a few years old the distillery is very modern and has a large rather swanky visitor centre … and a café. We arrived back from our trip to the Butt of Lewis just as it was about to close. Enough time for a scone, however. A scone at Isle of Harris Distillery in TarbertMairi Mackenzie does all their home-baking and it all looked delicious. As always a scone was what we had in our sights. It came accompanied with cream and jam. We have been desperate to find a topscone on this trip and so far it has eluded us. Unfortunately, Mairi’s scone didn’t change the situation. We thoroughly enjoyed it as we did everything about this place but it came up just short of the mark … pity.

Internal view of Isle of Harris Distillery in TarbertThey call the Isle of Harris Distillery the ‘social distillery’ because it aims to become the centre of the community. It certainly provides much-needed employment in this part of the world. Island economies are always fragile so anything that increases stability is always welcome. More power to their elbow! Their first whisky is to be called ‘Hearach’ which is what people from Harris are called in Gaelic … can’t wait!

Map of the Isle of Harris
Map of the Isle of Harris

Social places

Can’t wait for the fiasco masquerading as politics under the Westminster banner to sort itself out. Today, as Theresa May gives the Speaker a body swerve and tries for a third time to get her Brexit deal through the Commons, here, on the very edge of the EU, you feel pretty insulated from all that stuff. You feel, no matter what happens, the folks on these isolated islands where everyone knows everyone else will look after each other, come what may. It would be great if we could all have that sort of social community spirit. We are coming to the end of our time on Harris … sad!

HS3 3DJ              tel: 01859 502212             Harris Distillery

Remember our Brisbane correspondent sent us a scone poem. Not to be outdone our Bathurst correspondent has responded with a work of his own.

“I enjoyed my Brisbane countryman’s poem in the last blog.  I use the term “countryman” loosely though, because Australia is fast descending into a number of separate countries, courtesy of Covid-19…..  But enough of that.  I felt it incumbent upon me, however, to respond to your Brisbane correspondent’s contribution.   I apologize in advance to Bill Wordsworth for pinching the structure of one of his better works.”

Scone poem

When it comes to poetic scones, these Aussies are certainly putting us Brits to shame. And yes, that’s a challenge!

island, Scones, Top

Artizan Café – Again

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Okay, we’re not quite back in the swing of things in terms of brand new scones so this is yet another one of our island reposts that you have all come to know and love?? This one from the Artizan Café in Stornoway is from our 2019 trip around some of the outer isles. Seems like an age ago! Theresa May was still clinging on like some demented rabid dog and we were still hopeful that Brexit would just go away. What fools we were! And we had never heard of COVID-19.

Anyway, you have all heard of BLM, Black lives Matter, the movement that swept the world in the wake of the death of George Floyd. Without wishing to diminish BLM in any way, in this post we want to raise awareness of BPM, Black Pudding Matters. So let’s go back a year.

Doubtless, you will all heave a huge sigh of relief when we say that our trip to the Outer Isles has finally come to an end. To get back home, however, we had to drive back through the hills of Harris and across the moors of Lewis to get to Stornoway. There we could catch a ferry to Ullapool on the Scottish mainland.

View of Stornoway harbour
Stornoway harbour

Tom, Dick and Harry

We aimed to leave a little time, however, so that we could see if there was more to Stornoway than black pudding. As you are all very well aware this town is the home of this delicacy. That mixture of beef suet, oatmeal, blood, onion, salt and pepper that’s become a favourite of fine dining establishments throughout the world. It’s good for you because it’s high in protein, zinc and iron. A Stornoway black puddingNow, it’s very future is endangered by Brexit. You probably have not been aware of Westminster debating the future of black pudding … because it hasn’t. Stornoway Black Pudding is a PGI (Protected Geographical Indication) under the EU Protected Food Name Scheme. Once we leave the EU that protection has gone. Any old Tom, Dick or Harry in Manchester, or wherever, will be able to produce inferior black pudding and call it ‘Stornoway’. If ever there was a reason for cancelling Brexit, this is it.

We went to Macleod & Macleod’s shop to view the genuine articles in their native surroundings, We didn’t buy. Pat’s not a fan so I would have had to eat all 1.5 kg myself. Too much even for me. Across the street from Macleod & Macleod is Artizan, a rather nice café combined with art gallery and jewellery shop.

Technological scone location

At this point perhaps we should explain the addition to the info at the end of each post. Traditionally we have provided postcode, phone number and web address. However, our correspondent, the Pedant, has complained that this only gives a vague idea of scone location … a matter of concern to him … him being a pedant and all that. An app called What3Words provides much more accurate information and will locate a scone, or at least the table it was on with a unique combination of three words. The three at the end of this post ‘calculating.sweetened.blossom’ will not only take you to the Artizan café but to the table we were sitting at in the café … provided you have the app, of course. No other table on earth has these same three words. Either a wonder of modern technology or a complete waste of time … it’s up to you. It is remarkable though and it’s free so give it a whirl if you want to know exactly where our scones are.

A scone at Artisan Cafe in StornowayAnyway, Artizan was one of these places which just gives off a good vibe as soon as you go in. Everything about it feels good. When our scone came it was complete with butter, jam and clotted cream. It was delicious. Just the right amount of crunchiness combined with an excellent fluffy soft centre. No problem awarding a topscone here. At last, our long run of ordinary scones had been broken. The lovely lady who actually baked them chatted to us while she cleared our table. She was great as well!

All good things ..

And so we have come to the end of our trip. It has been great. A bit windy perhaps but we didn’t get rained on once. We have been able to provide our readers with a much more accurate scone locating system and discovered the home of black pudding, the best reason, if ever there was one, for cancelling Brexit altogether. As Theresa May contemplates dragging her battered and bruised ‘Deal’ back to the Commons for an unbelievable 4th time, someone really needs to take her aside and speak to her about black pudding.

View of Stornoway harbour
sad farewell to Stornoway and the Outer Hebrides

HS1 2DH             tel: 01851 706538        Artizan

calculating sweetened blossom

PS: If you have downloaded the W3W app and look at ‘rake.tacky.fronds’ that’s where we are on a ferry in the middle of the Minch … see, no postcodes out here! When we reach ‘reap.scored.twitchy’ we’ll be home!

LEWIS SHEDS

Peat cutting booth's on the Isle of Lewis
Three peat cutting bothies not far from Stornoway. One far away on horizon extreme left. There’s standing room only on the Sabbath … apparently!

Readers will remember our previous post about pumpkin scones, sent by our Aussie Bathurst correspondent. Well, here’s the sequel: “Following our recent treat of pumpkin scones, I decided to have a crack at cooking some myself.An Australian scone/biscuit  Same recipe as our hostess made on our recent excursion, but unfortunately, they did not turn out as well as expected.   See photo with a one-pound coin for size comparison.  What’s more, the one-pound coin was also slightly easier to chew.  More of a biscuit really.  Possibly because we used gluten-free flour to placate some gluten-free friends we had staying.”

Ten out of ten for a very admirable effort. While we acknowledge the consistency problem, we think the size is fine. Ideal for a genteel afternoon tea. But then, do Aussies do genteel?? We’re sure they’ll let us know.

Niceties

Apparently Westminster is getting in a frenzy about the burgeoning threat of Scottish Independence. So worried they have decided to send Boris on a dangerous mission north of the non-existent border. He won’t meet any real Scots though, only fellow rich tax-avoiding folks, then he’ll scurry off back to safety. They haven’t told Nicola or the Scottish government about the visit yet which just about sums up the relationship perfectly. Scotland doesn’t and never has had a voice so why bother with niceties?

Scones, Uncategorized

Kinloch Castle – Again

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This coronavirus Kinloch Castle repost is from July 2017. We were visiting what is known as the Small Isles and today it was the turn of the Isle of Rùm. Back then Theresa May was Prime Minister but had lost all credibility and power. Unfortunately, she was the only one who hadn’t realised and was still grimly hanging on like a dog with a bone. At least she started off with some credibility which is more than can be said for the present incumbent. Bitchy or what?

You wouldn’t think that this, one of the remotest Scottish islands, would have much in common with the Black Lives Matter movement but you would be sooo wrong. It illustrates, perhaps better than anywhere else in the world, just how much money could be made off the back of the slave trade. Okay, back to 2017!

Another beautiful day and this time we are on the Isle of Rùm. From where we are staying on Eigg, Rùm dominates the view from almost everywhere. Before we go further, perhaps a little background info on Rùm is called for. Many moons ago the island had a population of around 450 but in 1826, the owner loaded 300 on to the ships, Highland Lad and the Dove of Harmony, and sent them to Canada. The following year the rest of the population were dispatched on the good ship St Lawrence along with 150 from the Isle of Muck which he owned as well.

A local shepherd related “The people of the island were carried off in one mass, forever, from the sea-girt spot where they were born and bred... The wild outcries of the men and heart-breaking wails of the women and children filled all the air between the mountainous shore of the bay“.

Just deserts

The people were replaced with what was seen to be more profitable sheep. But the whole enterprise failed when the owner declared bankruptcy about twenty years later and ended up in a worse state than his previous tenants … just deserts, maybe?

Approaching the Isle of Rum
Approaching Rum on the Sheerwater ferry

Alligator ponds

More recently the island was owned by the Bullough family who made their fortune in Accrington from manufacturing machinery for the cotton industry. They wanted to turn the island into their own private playground and sporting estate. George Bullough built Kinloch Castle in 1900 using stone brought from the Isle of Arran. He didn’t scrimp. Fourteen under-gardeners, who were paid extra to wear kilts, worked on the extensive grounds that included a nine-hole golf course, tennis and squash courts, heated turtle and alligator ponds and an aviary including birds of paradise and humming birds. 230,000 tons of soil for the grounds was imported from Ayrshire and figs, peaches, grapes and nectarines were grown in greenhouses.

Party central

The interior boasted an orchestrion that could simulate the sounds of brass, drum and woodwind, an air-conditioned billiards room, and a jacuzzi. It even had electricity and flushing toilets when these things were almost unheard of on the mainland. Kin

Internal view of Kinloch Castle on the Isle of Rum
the entrance hall to the castle

loch became party central for the aristocracy and the shenanigans that occurred there became the stuff of legend and drove a massive rumour mill into a state of near hysteria. They renamed the island “Rhum” because Bullough did not like being called the “Laird of Rum”. The island was eventually bought by Scottish Natural Heritage and currently has a population of around 30. In the last couple of years, SNH has arranged for land and assets around the village of Kinloch to be transferred to the community giving individuals control over their own destinies. Let’s hope it is as successful as a similar venture on Eigg.

Crisps??

The tearoom on Rùm is in the village hall just next to the castle. We asked for a scone but they said they only had cherry cake. Faced with Hobson’s Choice we agreed to have a piece of cake with our coffee. When we made our way outside to sit in the sunshine we were regaled with the news that they didn’t actually have any cherry cake. Would we like a packet of crisps?? The lady, seeing our disappointment, said that she could have given us a piece of chocolate cake but she hadn’t had time to put the icing on it. Eventually, she agreed to let us have a piece of plain chocolate cake. It was very nice.

Plain chocolate cake

Apologies, we would have loved to have brought you a Rum scone. They do know when the ferries come in (there must have been at least 60 people on ours) so it is not as if a sudden influx comes as a surprise. Difficult to explain such a situation. Hey ho, chocolate cake it had to be!

Just to ease your disappointment, however, we can provide some pictures of a lovely K6 telephone box we came across. It was made in the Lion Foundry, Kirkintilloch and used for growing geraniums. It is in a stunning location and has a lifebelt and an anchor decorating its exterior. Could be in line for the prettiest K6 award … unless you know better, of course?

While we were having our uniced chocolate cake we met a lovely couple from Yorkshire. We met them again on the ferry going back to Eigg. When we asked them why they had nettles sticking out of their bag they said they were making a ‘holiday cord’. They did it with nettles from all the places they had visited. And you thought we were mad! In another attempt to make up for the dearth of scones we offer you a pictorial guide to nettle chordage.

Demonstration of nettle cording
A demonstration of nettle cording on the ferry back to Eigg

Chordage instructions

First, you remove the leaves (unless you are some sort of masochist, use gloves). Then split the stem with your nail or other similar implement. Throw away the internal woody bit then let the outer fibrous sheaths dry for a wee while before twisting as pictured. Your cord can end up as long as you like by carefully pleating all the stems together. It ends up very strong. By the way, Pat got a Sea Eagle and some kittiwakes to add to her bird list. Very happy girl again.

Skye from the Isle of Rum
Skye across the Sea of the Hebrides,  black Cuillin in the middle, red Cuillin to the right

Seventh scone

Theresa May is still hanging on! This is our seventh scone post since the election and she is still there. Almost admiring her tenacity … or is it just sheer stupidity? Don’t let the dire scone situation put you off visiting Rùm. It is quite simply spectacular. Maybe by the time you get there, they will have got themselves sorted out with scones! Don’t forget your nettles. Hopefully we will have better luck on the romantically named Isle of Muck.

PH43 4RR      tel: 01687 462037      Kinloch Castle – Rum

PS: Our Trossachs correspondents decided that in order to celebrate Father’s Day and our Four Hundred milestone they would bake some scones. Apparently this was the first time this century they had donned their aprons. They used the Royal recipe from the Royal Garden Party post. The scones were reported as being absolutely delicious. They certainly look delicious and beautifully presented with flowers, fantoosh teapot and all. How the other half live! Well done.

BREAKING: The £5.36 I have been carrying around in my pocket for months has changed. It is now £6.36! Don’t ask, I have no idea, it must just be gaining interest!

RUM SHED

island, Scones, Top

The Strynd Tearoom – Again

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This scone from the Strynd Tearoom on Orkney goes back a couple of years. As the current lockdown gives us time to ponder on the current state of our civilisation, Orkney might make you question how far we have progressed over the past 5000 years. After Boris’s long-awaited public announcement you could be forgiven for thinking, ‘not very far’. We should know by now that when he opens his mouth all that c omes out is lies and confusion. But give him some credit. It’s all designed, in the event of another COVID flare up, to put the blame squarely on us … you didn’t STAY ALERT! Anyway, 2 years ago or 5000 years ago…

The wind is still blowing with wicked enthusiasm. In spite of that, our plan for today is to visit the west of Mainland … Skara Brae and all that, and end up in Kirkwall, the capital. Most sconeys will know something of the rich archaeology of Orkney.

Skara Brae and Skaill House at Sandwick on Orkney
5000-year-old Skara Brae neolithic village with Skaill House in the distance

Up here they were building houses and having a high old time of it long before things like the Pyramids and Stonehenge had even been thought of. However, our abiding memory of Skara Brae will be of getting sandblasted by the wind coming off the beach. Certainly gives you a rosy complexion. Road sign to the village of Twatt, Orkney

Stormy weather at Skara Brae at Sandwick on Orkney
Orkney weather is dramatic and changes every five minutes

 

 

Another problem with the wind is holding your binoculars steady enough to identify birds.

Cobwebs

We had no problem though with a brilliant view of a female hen harrier not far from Skara Brae. It is a thrill to see these relatively rare birds because they rather stupidly nest on the ground. As a result, their young usually fall foul of predators before they can fledge. Pat’s list is now over forty which she is thrilled about. However, her joy was such that it was all I could do to stop her stealing a road sign to one of the local villages. Completely cobweb free, we eventually made it to Kirkwall and the Strynd Tearoom. Interior view of the Strynd Tearoom, Kirkwall, Orkney

Go north for scones

Like Stromness, Kirkwall also has lots of wee lanes and this tearoom takes its name from the lane where its located. When we asked how to pronounce ‘Strynd’. It seemed to be “Strand’ but with the strangulated pronunciation that maybe a South African would use. It is a tiny place but lovely and everything is home made. Once again we were made very welcome and once again our scones were excellent. A scone at the Strynd Tearoom, Kirkwall, OrkneyWe are developing a theory that the further north you go the better the scones are. We have had nothing but topscones recently. The Strynd scone was warm and served with nice pots of jam and cream. The scone itself looked as if it would be crunchy but wasn’t. It was gloriously soft and absolutely delicious … another topscone!

The Big Tree

Now, while most of you will have heard of the Ring of Brodgar and other Orcadian archaeological gems, how many of you have heard of The Big Tree? Or how many have heard of the Heimskringla? Thought so … let us explain.  The Big Tree in Broad Street, Kirkwall, Orkney

Everything is relative

Heimskringla is a book of Old Norse sagas written in Iceland  in the 12th century … you’ve probably read it. The Big Tree is the only one left of three that were planted by Robert Laing, father of the Heimskringla’s translator, in his garden over 200 years ago. When they widened the main street by demolishing Laing’s walled garden this tree was left standing in the street. When you look at it you might wonder why it’s called The Big Tree? Well, in Orkney terms, it is! And it is obviously much loved. It still supports a luxurious head of leaves although largely hollow. And it is supported by steel girders inserted in its trunk to keep it upright.

DNA

What else has been happening in the big bad world while we have been enjoying ourselves on this island. Here, you quickly feel kind of snugly insulated from the outside world? The media is still largely ignoring the biggest political conference in the UK. The SNP conference. They are concentrating instead on the sexual indiscretions of a Hollywood director that few have heard of and no one could care less about.

Theresa May is still clinging on like a barnacle while Britain skillfully negotiates a “no deal‘, Brexit. Catalonia seems to have rather skillfully blindsided the Spanish government … for the moment! Trump’s big golf courses in Scotland seem to be losing a fortune … bad! Scotland’s football team is no longer eligible for another pointless World Cup competition because of our DNA according to the manager … good! Well, well, well … the Big Tree has seen it all before.

Scapa distillery, Scapa, Orknay
Scapa distillery in the distance on the shores of Scapa Flow

KW15 1HG       tel: 01856 871552     The Strynd Tearoom

Forgiveness

Pat bought me a bottle of Scapa, one of my favourite whiskies, while we were at the distillery. Mind you it was only because of a guilty conscience. Previously, unbeknown to me, she had given away my one and only bottle. All was forgiven.

Change

Has anyone else noticed a subtle but profound change in the media’s reporting of the coronavirus crisis? When Nicola Sturgeon is forced to clear up the confusion by saying “When Boris Johson speaks, he speaks only for England” it marks a change. And now the media refers to “the four nations of the UK” where previously most of them wouldn’t even have countenanced Scotland as a nation at all. This is all very welcome but where will it all end?

ORKNEY SHED

A shed not far from Twatt

Ordinary, Scones

Callanish Stones – Again

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Apologies for the randomness of these scone reposts. It’s just the way we pick them … randomly! The Callanish Stones post is from just over a year ago when we were visiting the Outer Isles. In this time of coronavirus doom and gloom, these stones should remind us that 5000 years ago these technological marvels were, like they still are today, wondrous. Their purpose and why they are there is the subject of pure guesswork, again a bit like the current pandemic. Things don’t change that much.

Apologies for the plethora of scones winging your way of late. It’s what happens when we are in virgin territory. A new scone opportunity at every turn. Bear with us, normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

Today we are venturing further afield onto the Isle of Lewis … another first for us. There is always something exciting about being somewhere for the first time, especially when it’s in your own country. Having spent much of our lives exploring Scotland, sometimes we feel we have barely scratched the surface.

Attractions

To get to Lewis you have to drive through some spectacular scenery on North Harris. Lots of big hills and some massive white-tailed eagles. Pat’s a happy bunny. Once beyond the hills, however, you emerge into a great flatness which is characteristic of Lewis. Vast vistas of open moorland and lochs with sprinklings of houses. We passed Uig Bay where the 12th century Lewis chessmen were dug up on the beach in 1831. Just why these artefacts are displayed in London and Edinburgh is beyond us. Both cities need additional attractions like a hole in the head but the Chessmen would be a fantastic draw, here where they were actually discovered.The Callanish Stones on the Isle of Lewis

Attempts at time travel

Anyway, before long we arrived here at the world-famous Callanish Stones. We think these would be displayed in London as well if they weren’t so damned awkward to transport. There are stone circles all over the place in this locality but Callanish is the biggest and best known. Dating from around 5000BC and sometimes known as the “Stonehenge of the North”  they predate Stonehenge by 2000years. Pat tried to imitate Outlander’s Claire Fraser by gently leaning against the largest stone …  she’s still here.

External view of the visitor centre at teh Callanish Stones on the Isle of Lewis
Callanish Visitor Centre

The stones used to be much smaller, or rather their true height wasn’t discovered until 1857 when 1.5 metres of peat was cleared away. Some think that they formed a lunar observatory but we prefer the story about them being petrified giants who refused to convert to Christianity. Another story is that, on midsummer morning, when the cuckoo calls, the “Shining One” walks the length of the avenue leading to the circle. Petrified giants and Shining Ones … the temptation to find analogies with modern-day politics is almost overwhelming. However, we will leave that to your own imaginations. Pat didn’t see any cuckoos!

The quest continues

Internal view of the visitor centre at teh Callanish Stones on the Isle of LewisThankfully they have a Visitor Centre to provide scones and shelter from the wind. The Centre tells the story of the stones even though no one actually knows anything about them. It is all just guesswork. Arrgghh, the temptation to find analogies with Brexit! The cafe is nicely set up and must be a huge boon for the localA scone at the visitor centre at the Callanish Stones on the Isle of Lewiss of Callanish and the surrounding area. There was no cream however our scones were very good indeed. In the end, however, we decided they were not quite topscones. Our quest for a Hebridean topscone continues.

Ridiculous strictures

When we left Callanish we continued on to Port of Ness, the most northerly point on Lewis. End of the road at Port of Ness on the Isle of LewisWe knew we had reached the end of the road when we came on this sign. This is strict Free Church of Scotland territory … nothing but nothing happens here on a Sunday. We met a chap on Harris who told us that if you hang out a washing on the Sabbath you get a visit from men in black hats and black suits who will order you to take the washing in. They are members of the Lord’s Day Observance Society. He added, with a telling glint in his eye “I can’t wait for them to come to my door”. We wondered how much more advanced this whole island would be without these ridiculous strictures.

A fantastic part of the world and one that won’t be greatly affected by the shenanigans at Westminster. Theresa’s attempt to take on the Shining One’s mantle by promising the petrified that she will take herself off to a field of wheat somewhere if they let her have her way on Brexit, won’t cause a stir up here. As long as she doesn’t do it on a Sunday. All this because as she says “that is what the country wants!” No, it isn’t Theresa but don’t let that stop you going.

HS2 9DY       tel: 01851 621422          Callanish

ps: we also came across this K6 in Port of Ness which must rank as the most north-westerly in the UK. A K6 telephone box at Port of Ness on the Isle of LewisIt wasn’t operational … someone might use it on a Sunday for goodness sake. It was however made in Falkirk.

Port of Ness was always far away but now with COVID-19, it seems even further … strange! Not as strange though as Bojo experiencing a surge in popularity. The UK, like the US, seems to just love incompetents.

LEWIS SHED

A shed on the Isle of Lewis
A shed and a ruined croft on the great flat moorlands of the Isle of Lewis

 

Ordinary, Scones

Kerrera Tea Garden – Again

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The government’s Department of Weasel Words has gone into overdrive trying to justify their pathetic response to coronavirus and the BBC has taken to only reporting on NHS England. Should we be surprised? Well, back in 2018, we were at the Kerrera Tea Garden and as you will see we were still smarting from being cheated out of Scotland’s independence in 2014. The defeat was brought about by a coalition of Labour, Conservative and media lies. What really surprised us the most was that we were surprised. We knew they could stoop very low, just not that low. Anyway, let’s go back two years.

When it comes to Scottish Independence many people who voted NO in the 2014 referendum have been posting on social media “My Journey to YES”. Well, this is similar but, of course, it’s more “Our journey to a SCONE”! Let us explain. Some scones can be relatively difficult to come by but that is generally down to cost e.g. Claridges, the Connaught, rather than geographical location.

Gallanach Ferry from the Isle of Kerrera
Gallanach Ferry only takes 12 people, no cars. If you are number 13 you have to wait for it to come back. We had to wait for it to come back three times

Getting there

Getting to the Kerrera Tea Garden, however, involves a road trip to Oban, a passenger ferry and then an hour’s walk over rough hill track. That’s just to get there … and the same back! Signpost for the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of KerreraThere is nothing along the way other than sheep but luckily they have easy to follow signposts to guide the weary traveller. Although the day was quite cloudy it was hot so by the time we came on that last sign we were extremely relieved. Stomach and arthritic joints were screaming for sustenance and rest. External view of the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of Kerrera

The Kerrera Tea Garden is exactly what it says. A fairly large garden in which there are lots of tables where you can sit and have tea. If the weather ever gets inclement, perish the thought, there is the Byre, a rustic but charming converted cowshed.

Inside the Byre at the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of Kerrera
The Byre

Sacre Bleu

We were attended to by a very mannerly young chap who was obviously not a local. He was from Singapore and was studying law in London. Goodness knows how he found his way here for a summer job? A scone at the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of KerreraThe scones are made fresh every morning so after a light lunch we thought they should be sampled. We couldn’t come all this way and not sample the scones after all! Unfortunately, they were a tad disappointing. Just a little on the solid side and with a slightly sweet taste that wasn’t to our liking. They weren’t bad but not a topscone. Pity, because everything else about this place is fantastic. If you ever get the chance you should definitely visit, it’s worth the effort.

When we arrived there was a party of six French folks who were explaining that they just wanted coffee because they had their own sandwiches … mais non, sacre blue, mon Dieu! Perhaps it is just as well we are leaving the EU! They were politely told to take themselves off to yonder distant hill to have their picnic. When we were leaving they were making their way back for their coffee and didn’t seem at all putout. The Auld Alliance is intact!

View of Gylen Castle on the Isle of Kerrera
The ruined Gylen Castle overlooking the Firth of Lorne

We finished off our visit with the short walk from the Tea Garden to Gylen Castle which sits on the southern tip of the island. It was built in 1582 by the Clan MacDougall but was besieged then burned by Covenanters in 1647.  Ironically the siege was successful because of a shortage of water. The castle’s spring was insufficient in the prevailing dry spell so the MacDougalls surrendered. The same would have happened today where we have almost forgotten what rain looks like! When William Turner visited in 1831, he was fascinated by the ruin and made several sketches of the castle which are now in London’s Tate Gallery.

View of Ben Cruachan from the Isle of Kerrera
Looking east with twin peaks of Ben Cruachan in the middle distance

Sheep talk

On our return walk to the ferry we were almost deafened at one point by sheep talking to each other. Their exact words were “baa, baa, baa, baa, baa.” The noise was incredible! We came to the conclusion that they must have been discussing the effects of Brexit on the Common Agricultural Policy. They were making much more sense than our Westminster parliamentarians! After Trump’s visit to see May in London and Putin in Helsinki, I said to Pat “I think Trump’s a very clever man“, then, when I saw the look on her face, had to explain that I had misspoken and what I actually meant to say was that he was a complete and utter idiot.

Ex KGB, Vladamir Putin is beginning to look like the only sane politician around and that says something! Our “journey to a scone” was one of the most enjoyable in a long time. A big fat YES to the Kerrera Tea Garden.Logo for the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of Kerrera
PA34 4SX      tel: 01631 566367         Kerrera Tea Garden

K6 telephone box on the Isle of Kerreraps: This is the only telephone box on the Isle of Kerrera and as you can see it is a K6. No manufacturer’s badge so it could be either Falkirk, Kirkintilloch or Glasgow in origin. Now it functions, not as a telephone box, but as the only shop on the island … selling postcards.

Telephone cables

If you found that interesting here is another little snippet that will be of interest to all those who have spent restless nights wondering where the first subsea transatlantic telephone cable came ashore in the UK. Well wonder no more, it was here at Little Horsehoe Bay on Kerrera in 1956. It operated until 1978. The other end was in Clarenville, Newfoundland. You can now rest easy.

View of first trans Atlantic telephone cable landing point on the Isle of Kerrera
Little Horseshoe Bay with Oban in the distance. In 1263 Horseshoe Bay housed a fleet of one hundred and twenty longship galleys under the command of Norwegian King Haakon 1. More recently, it provided all the lobsters for Cunard’s transatlantic liners.

Wilting

We met loads of tourists, some walking, some on bikes, all were complaining about the heat! They said that the publicity for holidays in Scotland had not prepared them for weeks of hot dry weather. C’est la vie … haste ye back!

These days, the Kerrera Tea Garden and that ‘journey to a scone’ seem almost otherworldly.

KERRERA SHED

With everyone preoccupied with social distancing, we don’t particularly want to get into a deep philosophical debate about sheds. However, “When is a shed, not a shed?”. For example, is a wooden garage not just a shed with big doors or do the doors define it as something else? Is a shed with large windows a summerhouse and therefore no longer a shed? We don’t know the answer but you will be relieved to hear that I don’t photograph garages or summerhouses even if they are still sheds. 

A shed on the Isle of Kerrera
Okay, it’s a composting toilet .. but still a shed. Near the tearoom and Gylen Castle

I knew it was a mistake in our COVID-19 Newsflash post creating new categories willy-nilly however I did not expect my better half to join in. It raises yet another philosophical question “When is a scone not a scone?’. When it’s a cheese muffin, that’s when! These muffins were absolutely delicious but definitely not scones and shouldn’t really have a place on this blog however in the interests of domestic harmony here is the picture. To be fair, we managed to swap four cheese muffins for three of our neighbour’s tomato plants making one cheese muffin worth 0.75 tomato plants. Fantastic, a sign of the times perhaps?Cheese muffins

 All this isolation stuff has driven the world mad. We have even heard rumours of Texas folks baking scones … unbelievable! It’s just a rumour.

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Kelpies Café

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Today we find ourselves at the Kelpies Café. We are ashamed! People come from all over the world to see the Kelpies in Falkirk but, up until now, we have never been. Not strictly true because we have been here dropping people off and such like but this is the first time we have actually set out to visit. They were opened six years ago so it’s not as if we haven’t had time. You know how it is, however, when it’s on your doorstep you can always go tomorrow and sometimes tomorrow just never comes! So, after an uneventful five minute drive, on a glorious autumn day, we were here at last.

External view of the Kelpies in FalkirkWhat actually is a kelpie we hear you ask? Well, it’s a Scottish shape shifting aquatic spirit that frequents lochs and rivers. Usually in the form of a beautiful horse. They are not really comparable to Nessie, except in that, like Nessie, they appear infrequently. Unbelievably, some people have gone through their entire lives without ever seeing either.

Handsome?

Almost exactly three years ago when we reported on the Venachar Lochside Café we recounted an incident where a kelpie from that particular loch would sometimes appear as a handsome young man and lure young women and children into the water.  It would then drag them under and devour them. There’s a theory that Boris Johnson may actually be a kelpie trying to lure about sixty million people towards a similar frightful fate. The ‘handsome’ bit, however, throws serious doubt on this theory’s veracity.

Internal view of the Kelpies in FalkirkOur Kelpies today, however, bear none of that malevolence. They merely celebrate the part the heavy horse has played in shaping the Falkirk area in years gone by – pulling coal barges, ploughs and wagons. They are situated at the east end of the Forth & Clyde canal where it joins the river Forth. You can only see their magnificent heads, the rest is under the water … obviously. They are spectacular and we can quite understand why people travel from far and near to see them.

A scone at the Kelpies in FalkirkHowever, after wandering around looking at all the boats and admiring the sculptures a scone soon beckoned. There are three cafés here. Our café of choice turned out to be the one imaginatively called ‘Café’. It’s part of the visitor centre and is fairly typical of such places. Self service but quite a wide range of food options available. We both plumped for a fruit scone. Our relatively low expectations, however, were completely confounded when  they turned out to be rather nice.

A scone at the Kelpies in Falkirk
Spot the fruit

We might have awarded a topscone were it not for the fact that there was no cream (not even Roddas) and hardly any fruit. They might have been better billed as plain scones. Of course, then we would have complained that our plain scones had a bit of fruit in them. There’s just no pleasing some folk! Everything else was fine, however, so overall we enjoyed our visit and our scone. We may even come back!

In brief

The UK shape shifting government looks as if it is going to try and cobble together another deal with the EU. Who knows what’s going to happen? With a completely shapeless opposition, however, they might actually even get it passed, even if it’s worse than Theresa May’s deal! Some people have complained that the explanation of Brexit in our Muircot Farm post was far too long. Hopefully this one, stolen from the internet, is more concise and clearly encapsulates Britain’s negotiating strategy.Brexit summary

FK2 7ZT        tel: 01324 590600         The Kelpies Café

///branded.highs.rungs

Scones, Top

Pips

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There’s an old saying, “giving someone the pip”. It derives from ‘the Pip’ which used to be a disease of chickens but, in modern day parlance, means to annoy or irritate. Now far be it from us to suggest that our Prime Minister was giving us the pip but we were really looking forward to the prorogation of Westminster so that we would not have to put up with him for a while. But then, all of a sudden, up pops a triumvirate of Scottish judges to say the prorogation was actually illegal. Boris had been telling porky pies to the Queen. Will he end up in the Tower? Will he keep his head? Watch this space. If you want news of the UK’s first beheading in a while just keep reading the scones. You will be the first to know. We’re pretty sure he would have simply talked to her in his usual blustering way and dear old HRH wouldn’t have had a clue what he was on about … just like the rest of us!

So, given that Scottish judgement, maybe Parliament hasn’t been prorogued after all …. arrrgghh!

Internal view of Pips Coffee Shop in CallanderAnyway, talking of pips, here we are in Callander, in Pips Coffee Shop. We had spent the morning helping my aunt, who lives here, celebrate her 95th birthday. Nothing too outrageous, just a cup of tea, a biscuit and lots of chat. It was great to see her in such good form.

Busy, busy!

After we left, rather than drive straight home we decided to get some lunch before we left town. The last time we tried Pips it was closed and we ended up in Applejacks. Today, however, it was open … and very busy. There seemed to be only one young girl clearing tables, serving everything and manning the cash desk. She was literally running the whole time but simultaneously managing to be polite and welcoming to everyone … amazing!

A scone at Pips Coffee Shop in CallanderWe had spotted the scones on our way in. They looked quite big so we decided to share one after our meal. Everything was great, however, our scone did not look that promising. Having reviewed almost 340 scones, in our expert opinion it looked pretty solid. Our expectations were correspondingly low. What do we know? It was rather wonderful. Not crunchy at all but instead had a taste and texture that was surprisingly nice. Expectations confounded yet again. By the time we had finished the café was inexplicably empty. Thankfully our young lady might get some respite. A topscone, so well done Pips.

Hard earned title snatched

When we asked who Pip was, no one seemed to know. They said it was lost in the mists of time. Is it too much to ask that Boris follow Pip. At least one person is happy … Theresa May! She has had her title as ‘worst Prime Minister ever’ immediately snatched from her. If nothing else, Bojo has achieved that!

Callander main street
Main Street, Callander

FK17 8BL           tel: 01877 330470            Pips Coffee Shop TA

///engineers.union.equipping

ps There is a curious thing going on at the moment in our home town of Falkirk. A campaign has been mounted to save the last of the town’s K6 telephone boxes from removal. They were manufactured in Falkirk so form part of the town’s heritage. The Council, however, appears to have little interest.

We are once again indebted to our Trossachs correspondents who have sent pictures of this K6 in Portsmouth.  A K6 telephone box in PortsmouthPortsmouth’s Council obviously have much more in the way of imagination than Falkirk’s. They also sent this photo of a cannon at Gunwharf Quay in Portsmouth. Made at Carron Iron Works in 1810.A Carron cannon in Portsmouth