Tag Archives: Suella Braverman

Spean Bridge Mill

15 November 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Getting to Spean Bridge Mill wasn’t by way of our intended route. Our mood on finally leaving Kinloch Lodge matched the weather … it was raining! We wanted to take the ferry from Armadale to Mallaig on the mainland so that we had a different route going home. Unable to book on line, however, we decided to just turn up. The ferries are big boats after all and during the winter months they would be quiet. Wrong! CalMac, the ferry operator, had not only reduced the number of crossings from nine to two per day, they have also reduced the size of the boat. It could only take ten cars and guess what, we were … car eleven! The ferryman said “you couldn’t book because it was full” We said “but it doesn’t say that on the booking site?” He said “I know, it’s not fair“… argh!

Retracing

We had no choice but go back the way we had come and use the Skye Bridge, Now our return route was to be the same as that taken on our way to Skye several days ago. Thankfully, this time, there was no snow on the high ground as we approached Cluanie, We stopped briefly at the Commando Memorial just before reaching the village of Spean Bridge. The Memorial looks out over the hills of Ben Nevis though today they were all shrouded in mist.

The Commando Monument at Spear Bridge — Pat and the Commando Memorial

On the 11th of this month we had Armistice Day. Wouldn’t it be good if this day was used to display the true horrors of war and the abject stupidity of it all? That might be more productive than one that honours it and sanitises it with poppies. These commandos were paid a pittance to go out and kill and be killed. Most veterans say wars are nothing but a complete waste. The way we honour war makes it much easier for politicians to ease their consciences and start meddling in other people’s affairs. Perhaps with wars being a veritable gold mine for some people it might be an idea to forbid all MPs from holding any kind of interest in arms companies. Or … world leaders should be compelled to recite the words of “Where is the Love” by the Black Eyed Peas. Just a thought!

Panto season

At least Armistice Day finally gave Rishi Sunak the backbone to, at long last, get rid of Home Secretary, Suella Braverman. Her rabble rousing statements labelling Palestinian protests as ‘hate marches’ didn’t really leave him much option. They were attended peacefully by over 300,000 people with most of the trouble caused by thugs from the Islamophobic, English Defence League.

The return of Dave

In his reshuffle, Rishi has brought back former Prime Minister, David Cameron as Foreign Secretary. Since he’s not even an MP, Rishi could only do this because yesterday at breakfast time, the King made Cameron a Lord. That means he can only sit in the completely unaccountable House of Lords. And here’s us thinking that the pantomime season hadn’t started yet!

Cameron was PM when we started this blog eight years ago and there’s been an unbelievable five PMs since then. With Ukraine and Israel, Cameron has undoubtedly got his work cut out so we can only wish him luck. It’s ironic that Israel seems hell-bent on casting itself as the worst abuser of human rights and breaker of international laws since the Nazis. America’s unswerving support for Israel could make you suspect that it will become the 51st state. Could it be that they just see themselves as fellow colonisers? The war is thinly disguised as a war against Hamas but what is Hamas? Nowhere in the media have we seen any attempt to explain why Hamas even exists. Another mystery!

Self service

Anyway, enough ranting, what about the scones or is that going to be another rant? Spean Bridge Mill is only a couple of miles from the Commando Memorial. It is a woollen mill quite obviously set up to cater for busloads of tourists … gift shop, whisky shop etc. At this time of year it’s quiet. In the cafe, almost the first thing we came to on the self-service counter was the scones … preloaded!. Goodness, they were impressive! So impressive we decided to give them a try. It wasn’t until we reached the cash desk we realised they had some normal scones as well. By that time it was too much hassle to go back and start again.

To make matters worse they had put the jam on top of the cream! And here we are thinking Cameron had problems! And to make matters even WORSER, they were quite good. Mamma mia! You had to eat them with a fork and knife and spoon but they tasted good and were a nice consistency. They reminded us of Kiki McColl’s scones at Liosbeag Café on the Isle of Lismore eight years ago. Obviously Spean Bridge Mill wasn’t a topscone but definitely an experience.

After that we were homeward bound again after a memorable few days away. Although we covered a fair bit of Skye there was lots we didn’t get to. We need to go back … and the sooner the better!

PH34 4EP tel: 01397 712260 Speak Bridge Mill FB

///nickname.splint.triathlon

ps: Suella has just published a three page letter announcing that her former boss, Rishi Sunak, is a complete waste of oxygen. He’s behind you Suella … oh no he isn’t, oh yes he is!

Scones

Amy’s Place

9 November 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

Today, we never thought we would end up here at Amy’s Place. About ten years ago we visited the little village of Elgol with some friends. From the main drag in Broadford, Elgol is 15 miles down a single track sheep infested road where it terminates.

View across Loch Slappin to the Cuillins — First sight of the east side of the Black Cuillin across Loch Slappin

The Ridge

Lot’s of people go there just to get what is regarded as the best view of the Black Cuillin. Munro’s are hills over 3000ft and there are 282 in Scotland, 12 of which are in the Black Cuillin. Hillwalkers like to collect or ‘bag’ them! The Cuillin ones are challenging and many have ‘bagged’ all but one – the aptly named, Inaccessible Pinnacle. To see the In Pinn, as it’s known, we highly recommend watching “The Ridge” by Danny MacAskill.

The Black Cuillin 6 miles away across Loch Scavaig from Elgol (with someone photobombing)

Rock climbing here is fabulous because the the rock is made of gabbro, a rough-grained igneous rock that gives excellent grip but can wear out your boots very quickly. You just have to beware of seams of basalt running through the gabbro which are the exact opposite in terms of grip.

25 different ones

But never mind all that, the important thing about Elgol back then was the café. Perched up on some high ground, it was unsurprisingly called ‘Cuilin View’. It boasted an amazing 25 different types of scone. As I remember, I had apple and cinnamon … fab! That was before we started our blog so we didn’t write about it. But it lodged in our minds! We were determined to get there again and let our readers share in the experience.

However, when we got to Elgol there was no sign of the Cuillin VIew cafe … argh! All there was was a sort of coffee trailer thingy, and it wasn’t open! Downhearted, we had no choice but to backtrack along the road we had just come. Not really a hardship on Skye. We stopped a while at Cill Chroisd, a ruined sixteenth century church and graveyard.

Cill Chroisd, Isle of Skye — Not the same graveyard my brother visited but once again it was mostly McKinnons

Just after that we came across Amy’s Place in the tiny village of Torrin. There’s no real evidence of a village just a sprinkling of houses and this purple cabin just off the road. It was busy with people sitting inside and out. This sign was outside so we had to ask if it was okay for us to come in. Thankfully, they gave us a special dispensation!

View from window at Amy's Place in Torrin — View from the window of Amy’s Place

Sad

We were interested to meet the Amy who had the foresight to set this place up in such a perfect spot, but sadly, no! There was no Amy to serve our scones. The name simply commemorates the owner’s daughter who passed away in 2018 aged 23 having suffered from Lupus and epilepsy. Unfortunately, a situation Pat and I are all too familiar with.

Picture of a highland cow — A picture in the cafe. Purple and butterflies are the emblems of Lupus

Everything is freshly made by Amy’s parents so we placed our order for coffee and scones and went outside to sit in the sun. We didn’t have long to wait before we were eating our scones and sipping coffee admiring the view from our table. It was nothing short of amazing! The cream came in a prepackaged jar but there was lots of jam. We would have loved for it to be a topscone but it didn’t quite make it. But hey! Who cares when you can sit at Amy’s Place on a day like this? We thoroughly enjoyed everything!

Embarrassing

The odious Home Secretary, Suella Braverman ,has been at it again. This time she has questioned the police judgement in not banning a protest by people supporting a ceasefire in Palestine on Armistice day. In doing so her language has only served to inflame the situation. Embarrassing for the Prime Minister but he just has himself to blame. He appointed her!

We think Amy’s parents are doing a great job here and hope they go from strength to strength..

IV49 9BA tel: 01471 822847 Amy’s Place

///fortified.headboard.bashful

Ordinary, Scones

Hidden Treasure

19 March 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 4 Comments

We’re on our way to the Northern Isles but have stopped off here at the Hidden Treasure Tearoom in Johnshaven. It’s off the main road going to Aberdeen but we’ve always wondered what it’s like when we’ve seen the direction signs. Today is the day.

Blackbeard

Johnshaven is an odd name and obviously we wanted to know who ‘John’ was. Turns out John Blackbeard was a famous 16th century pirate who was washed ashore here with lots of treasure after being shipwrecked. Unfortunately though, that’s all nonsense … we’ve just made it up. Nobody in Johnshaven has any idea how it got its name. Shame, they should just make something up … that’s what they do in Westminster.

Anyway, we thought the Hidden Treasure might lie in this tearoom. Maybe it would be a scone … exciting?

Picture of last boat built in Johnshaven — Before it became a tearoom it was used for boatbuilding.. The Sea Venture was the last to be built in the tearoom.

The postie

It’s a wonderfully friendly place and we were entertained the whole time. At one point an old worthy arrived on an invalid scooter which he parked at the door. The conversation with the girls behind the counter and several of the other customers went something like this. “Don’t forget the cheesecake, she loves the cheesecake and she thinks I make it myself. She’s pregnant now but it’s nothing to do with me!” one of the other customers contributed that someone else was pregnant as well. Eventually the consensus was “It must be the postman because he has a bike!”

This was the backdrop to our scone. It came with the jam of our choice and a fantastic bowl of cream, enough to do two or three scones. We thoroughly enjoyed everything about this place. Everyone was so friendly and chatty. The scone was a treasure! Not quite a topscone but really enjoyable.

The world is our lobster

Johnshaven is a tiny village but amazingly huge juggernauts come here every day to transport the lobster catch to Paris and Madrid. Who would have thought it. We went to the Lobster Shop and the chap in there, when he heard that Pat had never had lobster, insisted on her trying some of his. She loved it so it might be lobster from now on …. argh! Might need to go back out to work. We also got a fascinating insight in to their operation on the Isle of Luing. We know the island well but had no idea there was a massive lobster facility there.

Not exactly in the news loop any more but we gather that an arrest warrant has been issued for Vladamir Putin … not before time! Wouldn’t fancy being the arresting officer. And our Home Secretary, Suella Braverman is visiting Rwanda. Let’s hope she likes so much she decides to stay there … for ever!

DD10 0EU tel: 07506 896842 Hidden Treasure Tearoom FB

///mysteries.spice.toward

Ordinary, Scones

Delivino

9 November 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Today we are at Delivino in Auchterarder but normally you would find us at its sister restaurant, Canada Wood. It’s only a short walk from our house. They also have the original Delivino in Crieff which opened in 2006. It’s always a good sign when you see restaurants like this expanding. Usually, it means they’re getting things right.

We like Canada Wood and have reviewed it three times but so far a topscone has eluded them. This Auchterarder venture opened in 2014 so maybe they would be better here? Their blurb says they “champion the sound food philosophy of Spain, Italy and southern France” … no mention of scones? However, they do have a lovely selection of wines from all of these countries.

Wonky Scottish weather

You know you are in Auchterarder, home of Gleneagles Hotel, when you look down the street and every second parked car is a Range Rover, many with horse boxes attached. At Delivino we were welcomed in out of the rain which, so far, had been making the day very Scottish. Having said that the weather for November, has been unusually mild. Not quite t-shirt weather but definitely unseasonably warm. COP27 in Egypt is supposed to restore our weather to it its normal Scottishishness but so far all we have heard is the usual platitudes they trotted out last year at COP26 in Glasgow. In the meantime it looks like Scotland, for the foreseeable future, might become more Mediterraneanish. “Taps aff”, all year?

After an absolutely delicious lunch we had ordered a fruit scone to share. It came with two plates. Always good when you don’t have to ask for another plate when you are sharing. Cream, however, wasn’t and option and the jam was English and the butter was Irish?? We won’t bore you with our comments about that, you already know! The scone itself was actually very good but considering everything else, it definitely fell short of a topscone.

Records broken left right and centre

We are now on our third Prime Minister this year! They should fit No10 with a revolving door! Hopes were high that it would be third time lucky but no. This government is proving to be just as chaotic as the previous ones. In a previous post from the Cross Keys in Kelso we said Suella Braverman was the shortest serving Home Secretary ever. She managed to get sacked for security breaches after just 43 days. That claim has since been overtaken by Grant Schapps who managed only six days before being replaced by, you’ll never guess … Suella Braverman. In the past week she has managed to make over three thousand immigrants vanish into tin air from the Manston processing centre. What a woman!

Gavin Williamson lasted almost two weeks as Minister without Portfolio (is that really a job?). He had already been sacked by both Boris Johnson and Theresa May. Liz Truss would probably have hired him and sacked him as well if she had held her post as PM long enough. In spite of sacking him, Boris gave Gavin a knighthood … brilliant! And the former Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, is now in the Australian jungle munching witchetty grubs … business as usual at Westminster then!

Topnotch

Okay the scone at Delivino wasn’t quite topnotch but everything else was. We are looking forward to visiting the Crieff venue in the not too distant future.

PH3 1DF tel: 01764 660033 Delivino

///demand.continued.tokens

Ordinary, Scones, weird

Cross Keys Hotel

21 October 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Since we are here at the Cross Keys Hotel in Kelso, we thought we should talk about keys. Have you ever wondered why so many pubs and hotels are called the Cross Keys? Well, apparently it’s all to do with the keys to the kingdom of Heaven and crossed keys were the emblem of St Peter. Doubtless, for many of the customers of these places, it would feel like the closest to heaven they would ever get. Though why Heaven should need keys in the first place raises all sorts of other questions. But one thing is for certain! Whoever receives the keys to No 10 Downing Street in the next few days will be receiving the keys to Hell. Not sure why Hell would actually need keys either but you catch our drift.

Someone let Liz out of the cupboard under the stairs and that signalled the end of her 44 day reign as Prime Minister. The shortest tenure in history for any British PM. It came as no surprise to anyone and many would say it wasn’t short enough. We know the brand new Chancellor, who has been in post for just a little more than a week has the keys to No 11 but no idea who will have them next week.

All this follows Suella Braverman’s resignation. You’ll remember Suella was the only woman on earth who could make Priti Patel seem warm and cuddly. Anyway, at 43 days she became the shortest ever serving Home Secretary. Realising that Liz’s government was in terminal decline she actually manufactured her own sacking. What a mess! “You couldn’t make it up“, is no longer merely a flippant remark. To make matters worse Boris Johnson is threatening a glorious return. Boris won’t need keys! In true Boris style he undoubtedly had copies made before he left Downing Street in the full and certain knowledge (in his own delusional head) that he would be back.

Lucky dip

We think they should just take all the keys and put them in a hat for a lucky dip. Since things couldn’t get any worse It would seem only fair that, the now famous iceberg lettuce that outlasted Liz, is allowed a go at the lucky dip as well.

Take it or leave it

Anyway we mustn’t go on about about this too much … or should we? No, let’s get on to matters of more substance …. scones. We arrived at the impressive Italianate Cross Keys Hotel quite late in the day. Guess what, they were sold out of all scones except white chocolate. Not exactly what we would have chosen however white chocolate it had to be. Kelso has survived remarkably well through the ages in spite of continuous wars with England. The hotel was the resting place for pilgrims coming to the Abbey so it suffered badly in 1545 during the “Rough Wooing” when the English blew it up. Subsequently the hotel became a coaching inn that ran services to Newcastle and Edinburgh three times a week.

Market Square, Kelso — View of The Square from the Cross Keys

The white chocolate scones were surprisingly nice, we were very pleasantly surprised. Not topscones in the style of Schloss Roxburghe but enjoyable nevertheless. By the time you get our next scone report we will have a new leader and maybe even an entirely new government team. Fingers crossed for the lettuce!

TD5 7H. tel: 01573 223303 Cross Keys

///harps.answer.nutty

Scones, history and a dollop of politics