Tag Archives: Stirling Castle

Cronies

There are questions and answers in this post. For example … is vandalism still vandalism if it takes the form of a poem. Or, could it then take on some other cultural significance such as  ‘art’.  What if the poem itself is seen by some to be offensive or in poor taste? Okay, okay, there may be more questions than answers in this post from Cronies bar at the Golden Lion Hotel in Stirling.

Reception area at the Golden Lon Hotel
Reception at the Golden Lion

And, while we’re asking questions, do you know the collective noun for a group of cronies. We don’t either but some think it might be “The House of Lords”.

Internal view of the Golden Lon Hotel
Cronies Bar
Inscriptions

The ‘vandal’ in question, of course, is Robert Burns, Scotland’s national bard.  How could someone who wrote a celebration of friendship and memories with friends in “Auld Lang Syne” be a vandal? Not that difficult as it happens! 1786 turned out to be an eventful year for the ploughman poet.Logo of the Golden Lon Hotel Earlier in the year, the Earl of Glencairn had gifted him a diamond pointed pen. The intention probably was that he might inscribe some suitable ditty on one of his drinking glasses during dinner. Burns may well have done that but later he used his present to inscribe poems on windows all over Scotland. He even inscribed a window at the Cross Keys Inn, just a few hundred yards from our home in Falkirk. On this occasion, however, he was visiting Stirling Castle and staying at the newly opened Golden Lion.Commemorative plaque in Cronnies bar

Power

The poem in question had no name but has since become known simply as “The Stirling Lines“. In it he displayed Jacobite leanings and his dislike of Hanoverian Royalty and George III in particular. Such was the furore that followed he was forced to return a few months later and smash the offending window to avoid prosecution. So to some, the Stirling Lines poem was ‘art’ but, obviously, to George III ( generally thought to be deranged) and his cronies it was just “libellous vandalism”. And they had the power to make things extremely difficult for the poet.

Painting of Burns with his cronies
Burns with some of his cronies at the Golden Lion

We wonder if the hotel made Burns pay for a replacement window because it has been dining out on the poem ever since. The words are inscribed all over the place.  And we are here dining out on scones in Cronies Bar as well. It’s a comfortable atmospheric space – you could almost imagine Burns and his cronies at the next table in lively discussion over the problems of the day.

A scone at the Golden Lon HotelThe staff were very friendly and soon had us equipped with some fruit scones, nicely presented with little jars of jam and cream as well as a couple of delicious Puro coffees. Both scones were lovely and warm and mine was perfect. However, we thought the jam and cream portions were a bit on the meagre side and Pat felt that a bit of her scone was slightly undercooked. What are we like? Moan, moan, moan! No topscone but pretty close.

Wood carving commemorating wee courin' timorous beastie poem
A large wood carving depicting the ploughman poet and his “Timorous Beastie” poem
Mad

So even back in the 18th century things could be a bit mad politically.  Today we have the UK government sending £millions in Humanitarian Aid to a destroyed Gaza to alleviate the disaster they helped create. We are tempted to agree with George Bernard Shaw when he said “the older I get, the more convinced I am that this planet is being used by other planets as a lunatic asylum.” Burns would have probably have agreed!

FK8 1BD          tel: 01786 475351            Cronies Bar

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ps In our last post from Macmillan Coffee Morning we said we would update you on the final amount raised.. It was £4,810.05 … fantastic! Many many thanks to everyone for their amazing generosity and helping make it such a happy enjoyable event.

Stirling Castle

Royal crest of ScotlandThe unicorn is the national animal of Scotland. It’s a symbol of purity as well as being proud and untameable. Sounds about right! If you are very lucky you might see unicorns anywhere in Scotland but one of the best places to see them is Stirling Castle. It even has a Unicorn Cafe!

Argyles

Before we went to the cafe we visited the Regimental Museum of the Argyle and Sutherland Highlanders – the much feared ‘men in skirts’.  The castle is the spiritual home of the regiment which was formed in 1881 and then amalgamated into the Royal Regiment of Scotland in 2006. We spent some time going round and reading about all the battles in which they’ve been involved all over the world. At the end, however, we were left with the overriding impression that Britain has stuck its nose into all sorts of places where it really wasn’t welcome. Many thousands of soldier’s lives were sacrificed in the name of King and country but in reality the end game was always the same … maintaining the power of those at the top of British society … and enhancing their wealth.

Depiction of unicorns at Stirling CastleIn spite of us humans being pretty spectacular in so many ways in other ways we’re absolutely awful. Considering our time on earth is but a fleeting moment you would think that there would better things to do with these moments than simply killing other people just like ourselves. Luckily, just as the dark clouds of depression were looming ever closer we remembered there would be scones at the Unicorn Cafe … hurrah! Yes, we are unbelievably shallow.

Unicorn Cafe at Stirling Castle
One of three compartments that form the cafe
Oversized

The cafe is run by a company called Benugo. We reviewed their Cafe by Benugo in Glasgow six years ago. A scone at the Unicorn Cafe in Stirling CastleNot too impressed then and we still aren’t! We thought everything was very expensive, especially for a self-service cafe. One tourist was informed that the hot food would arrive in half an hour. Presumably to replace the rather sorry assortment on display. You even have to clear your own table? Normal practice for us but we don’t usually expect to have to do it!

On the plus side we did had some soup and bread which was very nice. However, almost £6 for a scone with jam and cream was a surprise. The scone itself was quite nice but huge and, as you know,  we’re not keen on oversized scones. It was shared between us but even then we couldn’t finish it all. The overall experience at the Unicorn Cafe was disappointing, nowhere near a topscone.

Coat of arms at Stirling Castle
Royal Coat of Arms of Scotland up to 1603

From the 1100s onwards the story of Stirling Castle is really one of a continuous confrontation between England and Scotland. Over the centuries the castle has been occupied by opposing forces many times. Ironically, in 1502 James IV signed the Treaty of Perpetual Peace with England. It lasted all of eleven years until Scotland declared war on England in support of France … heyho,he tried!

 Up to 1603, Scotland’s Coat of Arms featured two unicorns either side of a shield. Later it had only one unicorn and a lion on the other side to represent the strength of England. 

Fly to France

Before it became a military base Stirling Castle was a Royal Palace.   Mary Queen of Scots was crowned here in 1543 aged nine months and lived here until she was five. A few years earlier in 1507 her grandfather, James IV, had employed an Italian alchemist with the idea of turning any old scrap metal into gold. With continuing failure rumours inevitably circulated that he might be fraudulent. He desperately needed to prove that he did indeed possess wondrous powers. He decided to fly to France from the ramparts of the castle using wings made from eagle feathers. Unfortunately, eagle feathers were in short supply so he used chicken feathers instead. He plunged straight down into the castle cess-pit and miraculously escaped with nothing but a broken leg. Should definitely have used eagle feathers!Flying from the Ladies at Stirling Castle

No Netflix

There is an area on the ramparts called the Ladies Lookout. It enabled the ladies of the castle to watch their husbands gallop around in the park below killing deer, foxes and probably anything else that moved. Exciting viewing considering there was no Netflix back then!

View of Kings Park from the Ladies Lookout
View of Kings Park from the Ladies Lookout

We do have Netflix, however, so when we got home we decided to settle down and watch the BAFTA award winning epic “All Quiet On The Western Front”. Set in WWI it follows German troops in trench warfare against the French. Amazingly it was only made possible because of Lesley Paterson, from Stirling. She bought the rights to the book with her winnings as a triathlete and ended up co-producing the film. It’s an amazing production but goodness, it’s not an easy watch. It should, however, be compulsory viewing for the likes of Putin and any others preoccupied with warmongering.

Unicorn picture in Stirling Castle
everyone should have a unicorn above their mantlepiece
Did you know?

Baby unicorns are called “foals” but sometimes they are known as “sparkles”. 

FK8 1EJ     Tel: 01786 450000     Unicorn Cafe

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