Tag Archives: Stirling

Scones, Top

Darnley Coffee House

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Today we are in Darnley Coffee House. Built in the 16th century it’s had a long and chequered history. At one time it served as a rather famous brothel and now it’s said to be troubled by poltergeists … you know, things that go bump in the night!  Apparently, however, it takes its name from Lord Darnley whose home it used to be. He was Mary Queen of Scots second of three husbands. Of little import, you might think, when scones are in question! However, a brief bullet-point history may help readers understand the sort of dramas this place (and its scones) may have witnessed back then!
 
  • Mary became Queen of Scotland when she was six days old. She was crowned and spent the first four years of her life just a few hundred yards away from Darnleys Coffee House in Stirling Castle.
  • In 1558, aged 15, she married the 14 year old Dauphin  Francis of France and became Queen of France as well as Scotland when his dad died a year later.  She was sixteen.
  • King Francis died when she was eighteen whereupon she was sent back to Scotland (no offspring had transpired so no longer required)
  • Four years after returning to Scotland she fell head over heels in love with her half cousin, Lord Darnley (in whose house we are currently eating scones – albeit the stables of the house)
  • Darnley turned out (like a lot of Lords to this very day) to be a bit of a waste of space so Mary ended up  pretty much disregarding  him.
That old chestnut – jealousy!
  • Darnley became jealous of Mary’s Italian private secretary David Rizzio. Darnley thought, wrongly, that Rizzio  may have been responsible for his wife being pregnant.
  • Darnley, aided and abetted by Lord Bothwell stabbed Rizzio fifty six times in the Queen’s bedchamber in Holyrood Palace. The blood stains are still there!  Then, for good measure, they kicked him down the stairs … Rizzio was dead!
  • Later, Darnley was living at Kirk o’ Field in Edinburgh when it was blown up. He was found dead in the garden. The body, however, was unharmed … he had been suffocated!
  • In 1567 Mary visited her and Darnley’s son James, in Stirling Castle (he was only ten months old). Mary never saw her son again.
  • Mary was forced to abdicate and her son became King of Scotland and England when he was thirteen months old (can it get any weirder?)
  • Yes, Lord Bothwell, surprise, surprise, turned out to be another waste of space. He abducted and raped Mary in Dunbar Castle. After being divorced for a full twelve days Bothwell forced Mary to marry him in 1567. You’d never guess that he had an ulterior motive! She later miscarried twins while imprisoned in a castle on a tiny island in the middle of Loch Leven.
  • A year later she escaped and raised an army to fight the Battle of Langside.
  • Ten years later Lord Bothwell, imprisoned in a Danish castle, died having gone completely insane.
  • Because Mary was Catholic and had a legitimate claim to the English throne she spent 19 years imprisoned in various castles in both Scotland and England.
  • In 1587 at Fotheringhay Castle, Mary, aged 44, had her head chopped by her cousin Elizabeth I (not actually by Elizabeth – she got someone to do it for her)
Learning outcomes

Readers who have persevered so far will, if nothing else, have learned two things 1. Lords are generally a waste of space 2. Castles are useful for all sorts of things.  Nothing about scones though … unless, of course, you continue reading!

old illustration of Stirling at Darnley Coffee House
Picture in Darleysb of the street outside. Lord Darley may even be it?
Alluring
Earlier in the day we had been to see an old black and white movie “The Edge of the World” supposedly set on remote St Kilda.  In 1937 they couldn’t get permission to film on St Kilda so resorted to producing the film on the equally remote island of Foula in the Shetlands. For me, St Kilda is unique in that it seems to become even more alluring after you have visited. Nowhere else has had that same affect.  Anyway, the movie was highly unrealistic but remarkable in that they got the technology of the age to work at all in such a remote place.
 
Wee stills
After that we visited Stirling Distillery. The still at Stirling DistilleryI was puzzled how such a small distillery was able to produce any whisky at all. Turns out they can only do very small batches. Their first produce won’t be ready until 2027. And there won’t be much of it even then … probably about 300 bottles. When we saw the stiil it all started to make sense ,… it’s tiny! Let’s hope they can make it commercially viable. Meantime, gin sales willl have to keep the whole thing going. We bought a bottle of their nettle gin then we headed a little way down the street to Darnleys Coffee House.
 
Internal view of Darnley Coffee HouseThe first thing you notice is the barrel vaulted ceilings. They don’t do them like that any more. Like the distillery, it’s small and easily managed by just two or three very friendly staff who seem to take a real pride in what they do. Internal view of Darnley Coffee House
Having had quite a busy day of watching movies and visiting distilleries we felt in need of sustenance. Lunch was plentiful and absolutely delicious! The question was, could we manage a scone as well? 
Cream tea
Well, you know the answer to that. Cream tea at Darnley Coffee HouseThey offered a cream tea which came with  two scones … one each. They were a bit bigger than expected so, at first, we thought we had been a tad ambitious. No worries, they were nicely presented, warm and just as delicious as our lunch had been.  In no time they were nowhere to be seen! We dithered a little over a topscone award but eventually  decided that they just made it. Well done Darnley Coffee House, 
 
Internal view of Darnley Coffee House
Hostages?
There’s a tiny flicker of humanity appearing in the Israel/Gaza war. A brief ceasefire has been agreed, conditional on the release of Israeli hostages held in Gaza. Israel calls its Palestinian hostages ‘prisoners’ and has published the names  of 300 potential releases. Only half that number will actually be released … how thoughtless and cruel is that?
Dead right or right dead?
Isn’t it odd that every war is fought between people who honestly believe they are ‘right’. Or, at least we’re not aware of any war being fought with one side believing they’re wrong. God is always on both sides! War doesn’t make any sense unless both sides are ‘right’ … but then that doesn’t make sense either?  And they never end with one side being proved wrong … just dead! On that basis Israel will win this war, not because they are ‘right’ but just because the Palestinians are dead … what a fab solution!  You would have thought, with 80 million deaths in WWII, us homo sapiens would have learned something?
 
Okay, that’s it, Pat and I need to get on with our cosy little lives!
 

FK8 1BS           tel: 01786 474468          Darnley Coffee FB

///press.rewarding.indoor

Scones, Top

Fletcher’s

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Well, we have barely recovered from the tarts at the Original Maids of Honour in London and here we are back in Scotland doing a bit of scone foraging. We are at Fletcher’s in Stirling for afternoon tea. The first thing you notice is the building itself. It’s impressive for a restaurant but when you learn that it was originally the Bank of Scotland it starts to make sense. Most of the banks had very expensive elaborate buildings at one time but now they have almost all been given over to pubs and coffee shops. A sign of the times perhaps. Some people lament this change however not having been in a bank for more than thirty years  we are at least partly to blame.  That said, we have been in quite a few old bank buildings but for scones. In our eyes this is progres!Internal view of Fletchers

Anyway this is a family run business and has only been going for a year or so. Previously it was called Cook’s. It has seven bedrooms and a seventy cover restaurant so it’s no small affair. 

A long way to come

A glass of bubbles set us up nicely for whatever was to follow. It all came rather nicely presented in a traditional cake stand bedecked in flowers …. nice touch. Afternoon tea at FletchersYou all know by now that we aren’t fans of big scones in an afternoon tea. By the time you’ve eaten the sandwiches a couple of large scones is the last thing you need. We needn’t have worried, the scones were some of the smallest we have ever come across. Needless to say everything was first class and the scones had a superb crunchiness which we like. Even the cream, the ubiquitous Rhodda’s was very nice though it would have been nice if it had been a little more local than Cornwall. Hey, is this not what they are going on about in COP26? Transporting stuff for hundreds or even thousands of miles for no good reason.Scones at Fletchers

Scandal

This is the last day of COP26. World leaders have come and gone. Grandiose statements have been made but little real progress has been made. Scotland lost part of its soil – officially designated UN territory for the duration of the event. The UK also made a shocking discovery. Not only does it have a blithering idiot as its PM but a corrupt blithering idiot to boot. Was anyone surprised? The Tory scandals surrounding Owen Paterson and Geoffrey Cox have diverted attention from COP26 to the point where the PM had to stand up in front of 196 countries and deny that the UK was corrupt … brilliant!

A highland cow at Fletchers
hair by Boris

Anyway, in spite of our cream having come a long long way to land on our scones, Fletcher’s got a well deserved topscone.  Great to see a bank being used for something worthwhile.

 

FK8 2DT      tel: 01786 478297       Fletcher’s

///boxer.amount.latest

Scones, Top

Vera Artisan Bakery

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Logo of Vera Artisan BakeryThe Laird got in touch to say that Vera Artisan Bakery in Stirling might be worth a visit. The Laird (full title Laird of Dumyat) is an avid sconey and the only member of the aristocracy willing to lower himself to our level so we value his judgement. Internal view of Vera Artisan Bakery

Display case at Vera Artisan Bakery
Pies and cakes all made here

The first thing you notice walking into Vera Artisan bakery is that it is quite small, only three tables. But you also notice its light bright interior and the two large display cabinets full of little wonders. And you don’t have to be here very long however before you notice something else … it’s a happy place!

Toasted
our server at Vera Artisan Bakery
our happy server

There’s great cheerful banter between the staff working behind the counter in the bakery itself and those out front serving the likes of us. These days when lots of places get swallowed up by large multinationals, it’s delightful to come across a small independent and apparently thriving  enterprise like this. We decided to share some lunch and do the same with a fruit scone for afters.  Everything was great but then it came to the scone. “Would we care for it to be toasted?” Why not? It duly appeared, toasty warm and accompanied with nice wee pots of jam and cream.

My dad used to say sarcastically of some of my mum’s baking efforts “It won’t need pegging down”. Well this scone almost needed pegging down,  it was so light. Overall, very nice indeed.A scone at Vera Artisan Bakery

After no deliberation at all we decided to award a top scone. Well done Vera Artisan Bakery. This place could be described as small, beautiful, happy and independent … words that could be describing Scotland in a few years time?

We feel there is something odd going on in government and the media at the moment. Surprise, surprise we hear you say! In spite of an abundance of supply problems, no-one seems willing to mention Brexit as a possible cause. They cast around looking for reasons for staffing shortages but seem allergic to using the ‘B’ word. Very strange, like it’s a taboo word.

Britain is also the only country in western Europe to have decreasing exports over the past year. Must be the weather! Anyway as long as places like Vera continue to thrive, we’ll be okay. Many thanks to the Laird for the heads-up.

FK8 1NA         tel: 07928 140636       Vera Artisan 

///jelly.sings.oppose

A scone in Cheadleps Our newly appointed Cheshire correspondents sent this picture of their scone at John Lewis in Cheadle Royal shopping centre in Greater Manchester. Apart from a comment saying it was ‘delightful’ there was no further information.  They are rookies after all so we have to make allowances. Many thanks, great first effort!

///pardon.grit.fell

Ordinary, Scones

The Greengrocer Café

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 The logo of the Greengrocer café, StirlingBack in the day when Scotland was a proud, honest and self-respecting country rather than the rather sad colony it has become, the town of Stirling epitomised the struggle between Scotland and its southern neighbour. Its very name means ‘place of strife’. From 1296 onwards the town was frequently occupied by English forces only for them to be driven out by the Scots some time later. It has gone back and forth like a fiddler’s elbow ever since. It could be argued, it is currently under English occupation. Scotland, even with its own government in Edinburgh, has scant say over its own affairs.

Never mind all that though, we are here to do some important stuff … shopping. The short rainy trip to Stirling had become necessary because of the mere fact that there are relatively few large stores left in Falkirk. It has been badly hit by the online revolution. The same shops, however, still seem to thrive here in wealthier Stirling. There’s always been a ‘friendly’ rivalry between Falkirk and Stirling, a bit like that between Glasgow and Edinburgh. Traditionally, Falkirk with its much bigger population and heavy industries made the money: a bit like Glasgow, while Stirling, retained much more strategic and political clout:a bit like Edinburgh.

Rumbling tums

Anyway, after a wonderful few hours of retail therapy in the Thistles Shopping Centre we began to feel a little peckish. This shopping centre is the only one in the world to feature its own 16th century  jail, the Thieves Pot. All very well if you fancy a spot of incarceration but does zilch for a rumbling tum. In fact the entire Thistles Centre seemed to do little in the way of restaurants or cafés. Just wall to wall retail outlets. A short walk along Port Street, however, led us here to the Greengrocer Café. A delightful mix ofA scone at the Greengrocer café, Stirling café, delicatessen and greengrocery. It’s tucked away down a little lane. A nice feature is the large communal table in the main shop. However we decided on a smaller one in the main café area at the back.

The staff welcomed us warmly and we immediately took a liking to the place. Nice atmosphere, a wide range of food on offer and homemade cakes to die for. Pat was lusting after a ginormous strawberry pavlova in such a way that I had to remind her, in no uncertain terms, of her sconological duties. We ordered a light lunch followed by a shareable fruit scone. Everything was excellent and our scone was no exception. The only downside was the cream.

Alstroemeria table decoration at the Greengrocer café
Alstroemeria table decoration

They had said it was whipping cream however it seemed more like the scooshie stuff to us. It was okay but, unfortunately went a bit watery, shame! But for that relatively minor issue this could easily have been a topscone.

HAL

When we finished our scone it was back out into the wet for our journey home only to be told, on the car radio, of the demise of Douglas Rain .  Brexit and Californian forest fires were suddenly of little importance. Now, some of you may not be aware of the significance of Rain’s passing but his was the voice of HAL, the computer in Stanley Kubrick‘s, 2001: A Space Odyssey.  HAL had a mind of its own and back in 1972, we gave our first ever car, a Citroen Dyane, which also had a mind of its own, the same name. Tears were shed when HAL eventually went to the great garage in the sky. Now his voice has gone too. As Trump would say … sad!HAL, our Citroen Dyane in 1973FK8 2ER      tel: 01786 479159        The Greengrocer Café FB

Ordinary, Scones

The Gallery Café

Gosh, it’s been a while. We have both been so caught up with other things that scones have had to take a back seat. Disgraceful, we know. Yesterday, however, we managed to tear ourselves away from building works to attend a St Andrews Day book launch at the Stirling Smith Art Gallery and Museum. And it just so happened that, in the Gallery Café, they had scones. Back in harness.

An Eagle In A Henhouse

The launch was for a new book by Lachlan Munro on the political speeches of Robert Bontine Cunninghame Graham. Regular readers will know that we have a bit of a soft spot for Graham. HCover of the An Eagle In A Henhouse book by Lachlan Munroe is a national hero in Argentina, where he was a gaucho for many years, yet remains a relatively obscure character at home in Scotland and the UK. He was a landowning aristocrat who lived only a short distance from Stirling and during his flamboyant and adventurous life became friends with George Bernard Shaw, Oscar Wilde, Keir Hardy and the likes.

On the side of oppressed people wherever they were, be they crofters, miners, women or even Sioux Indians. He hated politicians but became one and managed to get himself thrown out of Westminster on three occasions for disrespecting the House. A mighty achievement in itself. He even spent time in jail for taking part in a Trafalgar Square march in support of Irish home rule. His ability to ruffled feathers gave rise to the book’s name “An Eagle In A Hen-House”.

Chaos

He was a founder of both the Scottish Labour and Scottish National Parties. The launch, however, had politicians of all colours reading extracts from the book. There must have been a couple of hundred people at the launch so when formal proceedings came to a close they all descended on the Gallery Café at the same time … chaos! A scone at the Stirling Smith Art Gallery and MuseumEventually we managed to get a scone. The first we had had in ages. It was nowhere near a topscone but given the time since our last one, we thoroughly enjoyed it. No cream but plenty jam and butter. And the coffee was excellent.

Disembodied heads

The Stirling Smith was founded in 1874 from money given by local artist Thomas Stuart Smith. It has continued as a public-private partnership to this day for the benefit of the citizens of Stirling, Dunblane and Kinbuck … long may it continue! Floor sign for the Stirling Smith Art Gallery and MuseumAs we were leaving to go home we were alarmed to come across what we initially thought was the disembodied head of our prime minister. Turned out to be nothing more than a left-over from halloween  … phew!Pumpkin outside the Stirling Smith Art Gallery and MuseumFK8 2RQ       tel: 01786 471917    The Gallery Cafe FB

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Dobbies

It was way back in January that we got a tip-off about the scones at Dobbies Garden Centre just outside Stirling.

January, afternoon tea with two Dobbies scones

Our ever diligent Trossachs correspondents had bought some to take home only to find that they had been given some extra ones free. This was more than they could handle on their own, so they passed on a couple to us. We ate them as part of an afternoon tea we were having with some neighbours. At the time we thought they were rather good, if a little bit oversized. We had to split them up to make them more manageable for our guests. Since then, we have been promising ourselves that we would visit Dobbies and do a proper review. Seven months later, today is the day.

Internal view of the restaurant at Dobbies Garden Centre, Stirling
Just part of Dobbies’ restaurant

Automation

The garden centre is big and they have a restaurant to match. It is a little bit surprising to come in and find so many people out shopping and then to find a large restaurant which is equally busy. The servery area is also big. Rather than wait in a long queue we opted to go to the automated self service part. There is normally some sort of problem with these vending machines … and so it was. However the problem was not so much with the machine as with the operators.

Automatic coffee vending equipment at Dobbies Garden Centre, Stirling
Coffee machine about half way through delivering and it cannot be stopped

Basically, from the large array of cups, all of which looked identical to us, we selected what turned out to be a tea cup. Of course it was far too small for the quantity of coffee being delivered. A kind of Niagara situation ensued. We were a bit bemused by this until we noticed that there were similar but slightly larger ‘coffee’ cups … trauma over.

We had opted to share a cherry and coconut scone because they were all so large. Also we hadn’t actually tasted that particular combination before. Perhaps we should have stuck to what we know because we found this combo somewhat insipid. The tiny pieces of cherry were relatively few and far between and the coconut, although there, did not feature strongly enough. The scone itself was fine though, still too big for our taste. No topscone here but maybe the prize for the biggest.

Dressing like Ruth Davidson

The problem with Westminster and Holyrood being on holiday is that there is nothing much to report. Witness the BBC’s interminable coverage of athletics. But wait a minute, apparently the end of the world has just got a whole lot nigher. We should report that in case any sconeys get caught unaware. With the great big ‘Goliath’ madman in Washington threatening unimaginable fire and brimstone against the wee ‘David’ madman in Pyongyang who likes dressing up like Ruth Davidson, there may not be much time left. The big question. Will Scotland manage to become an ordinary self respecting  country before armageddon? The man in the know, Alex Salmond is predicting 4 years for independence but that may be too late.

Civilizing scones

HMRC has admitted that Scotland’s economy is actually £15b bigger than they had reported … oops. The latest figures showing that England ran a massive trade deficit in 2014 and 2015 whereas Scotland had an even greater surplus in those years. Perhaps we can just squeeze in a wee bit of self respect before we are all blown to smithereens. How to avoid complete annihilation? We think that Trump and Kim Jong should sit down together over afternoon tea. The civilising influence of a good scone cannot be overestimated and the size of the Dobbies’ scones should almost match their egos!

FK9 4UF     tel: 01786 458860     Dobbies Garden Centre

BREAKING NEWS: Our Tyrolean correspondents have lodged a report on what could possibly be the first ever scones to be baked in Austria. You heard it here first! They were in Scotland for a few days and became so obsessed with scones that when they returned home they baked some of their own ‘Austrian scones’. First scones to be baked in AustriaThey look good and by all accounts were good. No information on whether Austrians go jam or cream first. But together, dear readers, we are taking scones to the world. And the world will be a better place! Many thanks C and M.

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Ground House

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Although the City of Stirling is only about 11 miles away from our home we hardly ever go there. Edinburgh yes, Glasgow yes, Stirling no. Occasionally we might dip into one of the out-of-town retail parks but never into the city centre itself. Mostly we just drive past it on our way to somewhere else. It was recognising this sorry state of affairs that led us to purposely go from one of these retail parks into the centre,  just to check it out.

On the face of it, of course, Stirling has a lot to offer – a castle, a big pointy monument on a hill that can be seen from miles around and lots of other historic attractions full of guides dressed in period costume just in case you happen to be totally devoid of imagination. When you get to the centre however it is pretty obvious that Stirling, like most other towns, has not escaped the effects of all these retail parks on the outskirts. It looks a wee bit sorry for itself. Logo of the Ground HouseFinding a tearoom was surprisingly difficult. We ended up having to ask but were soon directed towards this place The Ground House Coffee Company on King Street.

It has a pretty relaxed vibe with lots of students sitting tapping away on laptops and checking their phones but .. hey, so were we! The system is that you are given a menu, you take a seat and decide what you want then you go to the counter and tell them what you want, then you go back to your seat and wait for them to bring it to you. Is this self service or not? Internal view of the Ground House, Stirling

Jam dilemmas

We bucked the system and ordered before we sat down because they had a selection of plain, cherry, fruit and apple and cinnamon scones right there in front of us at the counter. No point in wasting time looking at menus. Pat opted for fruit and I thought I would try the apple and cinnamon for a bit of a change. They didn’t have cream (not even scooshie) and they didn’t tell us the scones were going to be toasted but when they arrived they had almost been char grilled. We are never sure if this is scone abuse or not? In a way it seems a bit unnecessary but in another way it can sometimes work out quite well. Maybe you should just be given the choice.

Turned out that The Ground House was a place of dilemmas. The ordering system; the toasted scones; the lack of cream; the question – do you have jam with an apple and cinnamon scone or do you treat it more like a savoury cheese scone?

Scones at the Ground House, Stirling
Toasted apple and cinammon to the left and fruit to the right … is this scone abuse?

If you know the answer to this last point please get in touch. I decided to try and answer it myself by having one half without jam and the other half with. The result was that I enjoyed both! If I had to stake my life on it I would probably plump for jam. However, it’s a very close run thing? We are constantly wrestling with such problems … stressful! At the end of the day we enjoyed the scones and the coffee was excellent. We would recommend The Ground House Coffee Company to anyone – their pizzas look great by the way! Internal view of the Ground House, Stirling

Wee Wallace and Big Wallace

Just across the road from this café, on top of the entrance to the Atheneum building, there is a statue of William Wallace … known as the Wee Wallace, presumably to differentiate it from the somewhat larger one on top of the hill about a mile away.  You can make out the Wee Wallace left of centre in our title photograph above. We wonder what he would have made of Theresa May’s announcement today that Scotland cannot have a second referendum. Because it would not be fair for the people to have to vote before they know the outcome of the Brexit negotiations.

These weasel words try to ignore the fact that Scotland voted to stay in the EU … end of! Hence the need for another referendum before the UK leaves. Or is she saying that the UK might not be leaving after all?? We don’t think so … Wee Wallace doesn’t think so either and the Big Wallace certainly doesn’t think so!

FK8 1AY      tel: 01786 357606      The Ground House FB

Ordinary, Scones

The Smiddy Farm Shop Café

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Logo for the Blair Drummond Smiddy Farm Shop, Butchery and CaféIncredible

No sooner have we posted Venachar Lochside, a new and thriving business in the heart of the Trossachs, when along comes another one.  This time it is The Smiddy. Or to give it it’s more fullsome name, the Blair Drummond Smiddy, Farm Shop, Butchery and Café … phew! We have watched it being built over the past year on the road out of Stirling, slightly beyond the Safari Park, where it forks for Aberfoyle and Callander, and had heard it was to open towards the end of October. Since we were in Stirling and, having taken the precaution of phoning to see if it had actually opened. Having been reassured that it was, we thought we should check it out. Picture of restaurant area at the Blair Drummond Smiddy

Just opened

When we arrived, though, we discovered it was much newer than we had ever anticipated … it had been open for all of 75 minutes … breaking news, as they say in the media! So what do you get when you visit a farm shop/café that has only been in existence for just over an hour? Well, you get lots of things that are not quite right: wifi not working; shelves not full; items not priced; staff slightly stressed but you also get things that are very right: pleasant helpful staff; local produce (meat from Old Leckie farm and bakery items from Stag); great coffee (Henry’s) … and great scones! Picture of a fruit scone at the Blair Drummond SmiddyNo cream but plenty jam and butter and the most fruit we have seen in a fruit scone in a long time. The baker at the Smiddy (Harry) had done a great job. After much deliberation however we reckoned that they were just slightly too big for our taste. And, with there not being any cream, they just missed out on a topscone award … pity.

Teething problems

Okay, there were a few teething problems with this newborn enterprise but, given the circumstances, remarkably few. Overall this is a great place and will get even better as it settles down. Yet another fantastic stop-off point for the Trossachs. It’s already quite big but you can see how it has been designed with expansion in mind and we are sure it will have to do just that in the not too distant future.

Interior view showing butchery counter at the Blair Drummond Smiddy
The butchery counter and our favourite workbench ever

If only such foresight and planning could be demonstrated by the UK government. The nightmare is, that when it comes to the pantomime that is the US elections, we have been rendered unable to scoff in the slightly superior way that we would like. Our own lot are just as bad, if not worse. What an admission that is!

The Jungle

On a slightly different tack, the Calais ‘Jungle’ refugee camp is being dismantled as we write. The contents scattered around the rest of France. No matter what you think of the politics, on a purely human level it is an absolute catastrophe. Can any of these people even begin to imagine what it is like to sit in gorgeous Stirlingshire on a beautiful day eating Harry’s scones and drinking Henry’s coffee? We doubt it! Let’s hope that some day they can, at least, imagine it. We wish them and the Smiddy the best of luck for the future.

FK9 4UY          tel: 01786 235024      The Smiddy

Ordinary, Scones

The Royal Ivy Hotel

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When the Royals have created such a stooshie over the Crown Estates in Scotland it is perhaps appropriate that we are visiting the Royal Ivy Hotel in Bridge of Allan. For afternoon tea no less! Fortunately the Buckingham Palace spokesman who started all the fuss has retracted his statement saying it was a misunderstanding. Presumably so that we can relax and enjoy our scones without being tormented by thoughts of HM being upset.

The Royal Ivy is situated on the the Stirling side of town and we can only hope that since it is a ‘Royal’ establishment that the Queen might see fit to distribute some of the £150m refurb of her London pad in the direction of this place. It needs it! Strawberries at the Royal Ivy Hotel, Bridge of AllanThe dated and soulless decor is such that it kind of pervades everything.  It makes you feel a bit down … depressed even. It certainly makes you acutely aware of how much general ambience matters. A huge pity because the afternoon tea was really good.

We were offered chocolate dipped strawberries and presecco to begin with .. a very nice touch. This was followed up with one of the most generous presentations of afternoon tea that we have come across. Afternoon tea at the Royal Ivy Hotel, Bridge of AllanMore chocolate dipped strawberries, strawberry tarts, assorted sandwiches, cakes and very presentable pancakes and scones. We were offered endless top ups of prosecco, tea and coffee.

All in all it was very good value for money, the only thing letting it down was the surroundings. We hope they sort it out so that this Ivy becomes more akin to its more famous namesake. Maybe a note to the HM asking for 0.0000001% of her refurbishment budget. That would cover the cost of a decent website as well!

FK9 4HH                   tel: 01786 834166                    Royal Ivy Hotel

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Blossom’s Bistro

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Blossom’s is situated within the ever popular Torwood Garden Centre at Larbert between Falkirk and Stirling. Like the Centre itself the bistro is big, over 200 seats. Now you would not normally go to a garden centre specifically for a scone but at this time of year garden centres are going to be hard to avoid. You may as well try a scone at the same time. Internal view of Blossoms Bistro, TorwoodI have to say that Blossoms tries really hard and for the most part succeeds. There is a wide range of food on offer.

They even do an afternoon tea with generous helpings of sandwiches, cakes, scones, tea or coffee for £15 … for two people! Don’t think you can do much better than that! No surprise then that it’s a busy place, We suspect that many folk just come to the Bistro without going out to the plant area. They also support Central Arts.  An organisation of local artists, displaying and selling their artworks to benefit various charities. Highly commendable!

A Parliament of scones

It’s a beautiful warm day but I gather that some folks are getting a bit overheated regarding the upcoming election. Let’s look at it sensibly! Lets imagine Parliament being made up of scones. There would be about 650 plain ones, some of them pretty half baked. There would be another 900 or so fruit ones in ‘the other place’. All of them are half baked and we don’t really need them at all. A scone at Blossoms Bistro, TorwoodAt this point in time, before the election, all 650 of the plain scones have been discarded … binned. We only have the 900 fruit ones. Now much as I like a fruit scone many of these are well past their sell-by but there is no way of getting rid of them. Even the pigeons won’t take them.

No worries though, on May 7th, a new batch of plain scones will appear from all over the UK and normality should then be restored. However, the problem this time around seems to be with the Scottish scones. Seen by some, to be of inferior quality, hard to digest and best ignored if possible. Of course this in turn would be tricky for Scottish people to digest  because they  will have gone to a lot of trouble to make them and they know their scones are as good as any.

There are scones and scones

The democratic process that produced all these scones used to see them all as equal but maybe not anymore. Us sconeys have known for a long time that scones are not all equal, far from it. The scones we had in Blossom’s Bistro were better than expected but maybe tasted a little bit floury and slightly more cakeish than we would have liked. Nevertheless we enjoyed them, the coffee was also good, the service was very helpful and friendly. All in all, very good value for money. More than can be said for those in Parliament.

FK5 4EG          tel: 01324 557710         Blossoms Garden Centre