Goodness, it’s over nine years since we last wrote about Palmerston’s, here in lovely Dunkeld. In the 9th century there was a union by marriage between the Scots and the Picts and King Kenneth MacAlpin made Dunkeld the capital of his new Scotland. The village is strategically placed at the entrance to a pass leading to the Highlands and sits on the north bank of the River Tay. In fact it is just upstream from Ballathie House where we were earlier this month. On the opposite bank of the river is the village of Birnam, made famous by Shakespeare for its mobile forest.
A witch’s word
Apparently it put the jitters up the villainous Macbeth when he was informed that Birnam Wood was moving towards his fortress at Dunsinane. After all, several witches had told him he was safe as long as that highly unlikely event ever came to pass … and who wouldn’t believe a witch? However, he was right to be jittery, oh yes! It was actually the English army that had cut down the branches and were using them to camouflage their stealthy approach. Suffice to say, Macbeth’s head ends up in a different place to the rest of him. Is that a suitable ending for a villain? That was way back in the 11th century and we don’t have villains like that any more … or do we?
But before we go into that let’s look at something altogether more wholesome, Palmerston’s scones. Nine years ago you will clearly remember that they were a little unusual. They were baked in a large round then cut into triangular quadrants. Well, they still are and they had four different types for us to choose from! Somewhat unenterprisingly we decided on fruit scones, or sultana as it’s known in these parts.
They’re very friendly here. Straight off we were asked if we wanted butter and jam or cream and jam? Very sensible. We opted for cream and jam! When the scones arrived at our table, however we had cream, jam and two different types of butter. Not so sensible. As you know we’re partial to a crunchy exterior and a nice soft fluffy interior. These couldn’t be described in that way but nevertheless they were absolutely delicious with lots of big juicy sultanas … topscone!
Is that light at the end of the tunnel?
Let’s get back to villains! All in all it’s seems to have been a good day for us here in Dunkeld but a bad day for villains … hurrah! The International Criminal Court has issued arrest warrants for Benjamin Netanyahu and his associates. They’ve done the same for the Hamas resistance. However, there’s been a similar warrant for Putin’s arrest since 2023 so don’t expect these new warrants to make a whole lot of difference any time soon. Perhaps more importantly Norway, Ireland and Spain have announced their intention to recognise Palestinian statehood … hurrah again! This is what is needed to get people talking seriously about a two state solution. Also, Paula Vennells, a priest but seen by many as a villain, starts her submission to the inquiry into the horrors of the Post Office Horizon scandal.
UK style democracy
Unfortunately this is also the week when Rishi Sunak labelled people who want Scotland to be an independent country again (that’s at least half the people of Scotland) as extremists. A danger to the UK. This, in spite of the fact that no-one in the 100 years or so of Scotland’s passionate bid to regain its self-respect has suffered so much as a nose-bleed. We thought Trump was pretty stupid among political figures but he may have competition.
Perhaps more serious than all of that, the last time we were here Palmerston’s had just returned from the World Jam Championships with a bunch of prize certificates. Sadly we were informed that these Jampionshios, have been discontinued since the COVID pandemic. Happily you can still get their excellent jam here.
Isn’t it really silly that a country like Scotland has to resort to protest marches just to get a say in our own future. Well here we are in Edinburgh, along with thousands of others, being really silly. If this is what it takes, so be it. It was a very happy day with all age ranges well represented. Being part of a sea of Saltires, however, made us wonder how it came to be the national flag … the oldest flag in the world. We probably understand the American and Australian flags better than we understand our own, Because our readers are spread all over the world we feel a duty to enlighten, not only about scones but about Scotland as well. So here goes! Hang in there, we do eventually end up with scones at Greywalls.
WARNING:
Like a lot of Scottish stuff … haggis, unicorns, kelpies, Nessie etc. one has to keep an open mind. To get Saltire answers we travelled about 20 miles east of Edinburgh to the tiny village of Athalstaneford and the Flag Heritage Centre. It’s housed in a doocot (dovecot) built in 1583 when people were presumably a lot smaller than they are today.
Saint in a quandary
In 832 the Battle of Athalstaneford took place here. The Northumbrian’s were totally brassed off with the Picts coming south and stealing their cattle. They formed an army led by Athalstane and headed north bent on revenge. Angus, King of Picts, feared what was coming and prayed for help from St Andrew. Lo and behold, in the sky there appeared a cloud formation in the form of a diagonal cross the same as the one on which St Andrew had been crucified. Inspired, Angus won the day and promised to make Andrew the patron saint of Scotland for helping him win. Mind you Andrew is also patron saint to both Russia and Ukraine … bit of a quandary there? Readers should also bear in mind that in the 9th century they hadn’t realised that these patterns were invariably caused by vapour trails from high flying jets.
Anyway, Greywalls is just a hop skip and a jump from Athalstaneford. You can probably tell from the title picture that it’s our kind of place. Lovely country house surrounded by beautiful gardens. Expectations were high!
Mashie niblicks
The house was built in 1901 as a holiday home for the Hon Alfred Lyttelton. He insisted that it be built ‘within a mashie niblick shot of the eighteenth green at Muirfield’. That’s a lofted club so not very far. You will remember that, in 2017, this was the golf club at the centre of a sexism scandal for refusing to allow women members. Obviously they lost that battle! As a hotel, however, Greywall’s remains a favourite haunt of golfers from all over the world. The interior is as you would expect of such a grand country house, though somewhat oddly, we were shown into a rather modern conservatory area which contrasted strangely with the rest of the house.
We ordered tea and scones. And they were duly delivered in what we would describe as an efficient rather than a friendly manner. Again, as with our previous post from Craobh, they arrived on a slate. The scones were excellent. Slightly warmed and crisp on the outside with a fabulous soft interior. Lots of jam and cream. We felt they might even challenge our benchmark scones from Fonab Castle and Schlosse Roxburghe. They definitely would have if the service had not been quite so rigid. Still a good topscone though.
A life and a half
In the hall there was a portrait of Flora MacDonald Horlick. She was a direct descendant of Flora MacDonald who bravely disguised Bonnie Prince Charlie as Betty Burke, her Irish spinning maid to help him escape the redcoats. He fled to France but she was caught and imprisoned in the Tower of London. Years later she arrived in South Carolina at the beginning of the American Revolution.
But having backed the losing side she ended up forced into hiding herself. She lost everything and opted to return to her beloved Skye. During her return this defiant woman, refused to opt for safety below deck and was shot in the arm by pirates. We think she would have been a member at Muirfield whether they liked it or not. She died in 1790, survived by seven of her children and is buried on Skye wrapped in a sheet in which the Bonnie Prince had slept. That’s a life and a half. But her descendent in the picture, by comparison, seems to have had a much more privileged life.
Marches, flags, battles, scones and heroines … quite enough for one day!
ps This Falkirk made K6 telephone box is outside the Flag Heritage Centre in downtown Athalstaneford. It still has a working telephone and also functions as a library.
We are about as familiar with Greenock as we are with the dark side of the moon. And that’s more than a little peculiar because it’s only an hour’s drive from home. We can only blame it on its situation on the southern shores of the Clyde hemmed in by hills. Also, Pat is from the north side of the river and generally that means you don’t go to the “south side” unless absolutely necessary! Unless you have a particular excuse to go there, you just don’t. Today we have a particular excuse.
Our Sydney correspondents let us know that they were on a cruise and today they would be docked at Greenock. By a happy coincidence we had also been informed that Buzzworks had just opened a new restaurant in the town called Scotts Greenock. We could kill two birds with one stone, so to speak.
View of the Island Princess from our table
We visit Scotts at South Queensferry quite a lot and we thought it would be good to have a look at this new recently opened enterprise. Situated in Greenock, it would also mean that our friends would not have too far to travel from their ship. We booked a table for today.
Power of the kettle
For many years Greenock was the centre of shipbuilding, sugar refining and wool manufacturing but now they have all disappeared and it is bravely trying to recover from these heady days of heavy industry. James Watt, who famously discovered steam power by trying to hold down the lid of his kettle was born here in 1736, More recently, so was Judge Dredd
Imagine our surprise when we found that Scotts is actually part of the Ocean Terminal building that our friends had to go through to get on and off their ship. They beat us to it and were already at the table. It’s seven years since we last saw them so it was wonderful to see them again. There was loads to catch up on!
Cameron was our server. He got us all sorted up with a delicious lunch but when we asked for a scone he just looked very perplexed and scurried off. He returned with the devastating news that they didn’t have any. And here was us hoping to give our correspondents a in-person refresher course! It was all a bit odd, however, because every other Buzzworks place we have been to has scones displayed in their bar areas.
Can I help you?
I ventured up to the bar just to check that Cameron hadn’t misunderstood. When a lady saw me searching she asked if she could be of help.
the entrance to Scotts
I explained my surprise that they didn’t have any scones when all their sister restaurants did. She explained that having only opened a couple of weeks ago, they weren’t fully operational yet. She assured me that as soon as they were they would have scones just like everywhere else. Then she added “but when you made your reservation you wrote that you were meeting friends from Australia for lunch and hopefully a scone … so we made some scones this morning, especially.” Goodness gracious, had we actually stumbled on an organisation that actually paid attention to the individual? Wow, a rare thing in this modern automated world! I resisted an almost overpowering urge to kiss this lovely lady and returned to the table to deliver the good news.
In no time at all Cameron was delivering our scones, nicely presented on large oval cobalt blue platters. No cream but perhaps that wasn’t altogether surprising given that the scones in front of us were the only ones the restaurant had ever had. The four of us thoroughly enjoyed them and although we didn’t think the scones on their own merited a topscone we decided to award one anyway. Considering the trouble they had gone to on our behalf it was totally deserved. Well done Scotts Greenock for going above and beyond!
Our friends had been in Shetland the day before and Iceland the day before that. This cruising lark is relentless and sadly, before long, it was time to say farewell. They had to get back on board and head for Southampton. Cameron kindly offered to take a final picture on the outdoor deck area and then, with hugs and kisses, we parted.
Cruising
Inspired by tales of sailing the high seas and discovering new and exotic places, we decided to give it a go. We drove a couple of miles further along the coast to Gourock and boarded the good ship Sound of Shuna for the 20 minute trip to Dunoon.
Not a huge amount of luxury on the Sound of Shuna but it did have a toilet
Okay, not exactly cruising but it did enabled us to make a round trip up the shores of Loch Long across the Rest And Be Thankful and down the shores of Loch Lomond. We eventually got home very late after a great day full of happy memories!
A letter box made in Falkirk in St Catherines on the shores of Loch Long
Our Sydney correspondents thought our blog had gone rather quiet on the subject of Scottish politics … Nicola Sturgeon and all that? They’re right, of course, we have gone quiet. The reason being that we have no idea what is going on. If anyone else knows please get in touch. All we can say is that the actual case for Scottish independence remains stronger than ever.
Latest news is that the US Defence Department has a secret stash of UFOs. If true, it infers that these ‘nonhuman biologics’ had the intelligence and wherewithal to get somewhere but then had no idea what to do once there. A complete mystery if it wasn’t for the fact that it sounds suspiciously like Westminster!
WARNING: No scones feature in this post! However, before you judge us too harshly you should read on to see the extent of our efforts on your behalf. Scone hunting in the northernmost reaches of Scotland is not for the faint hearted!
Actually today started off in a different direction. Our intention was to go to Fair Isle which lies half way between Shetland and Orkney. Yesterday we had gone to Tingwall Airport, just six miles from Lerwick, to book seats but it was shut. No response to us knocking on the door of Terminal 1. There weren’t any other Terminals to choose from and it was Sunday!
This morning we were back again and the nice lady behind the desk looked at her screen only to announce apologetically that there was only one seat left. I said that Pat would sit on my knee, it’s only a 25 minute flight after all, but she just smiled pityingly and shook her head. A scone from Fair Isle would have been great but now we would have to revert to Plan B. That meant heading in the opposite direction to get as far north as we could. Muckle Flugga lighthouse was our new target. Onwards and northwards!
Dedication
To get there we had to catch a ferry to Yell, drive across Yell then another ferry to Unst. It promised to be a good day, the weather was lovely and we like ferries. From a sconological point of view Unst has the UK’s most northerly tearoom … Victoria’s Vintage Tearoom. Honestly, the things we do for our sconey readers!
Our ferry ‘Bigga’ at Toft looking towards Yell
Before long we were at Toft to catch our ferry to Yell. It’s always exciting to arrive somewhere new and waiting for ferries just heightens the anticipation. To add to the anticipation we had been told by a lorry driver that he missed the previous ferry because he hadn’t booked. He wasn’t sure if he would get on the next one either. Argh! We weren’t booked either! Turns out catching ferries is a bit of a lottery if you’re not booked. No problem though, we got on and so did our lorry driver. Fifteen minutes later we were arriving at Ulsta on Yell!
Restoration project
Yell has a population of about 1000 people and has been inhabited since Neolithic times. There are many Pictish brochs. You can also find the ruins of the Windhouse – the most haunted house on Shetland. It was built in 1707 and when it was being renovated 160 years later skeletons were found under the floor. An English couple bought it in 2003 to restore it … no restoration ever took place and it’s back on the market. Anyone interested? Apparently, being this close to Norway, there’s quite a lot of trolls on Yell.
Ferry arriving at Gutcher on Yell with Unst in the distance
Luftwaffe
Once again the roads were first class and before long we were in Gutcher waiting for the ferry to Belmont on Unst. Gutcher is a tiny settlement but during WWII the Luftwaffe bombed the post office in an attempt to disrupt communications … hard to believe.
Lord Bothwell, Mary Queen of Scot’s third husband, fled to Unst when he was accused of murdering her second husband. Three ships were sent to bring him back but the sea battle that followed resulted in him sailing off to Norway. Obviously, he didn’t need to book a ferry!
Stereotyping?
No time was wasted in making our way to Victoria’s Vintage Tearoom at Haroldswick in the very north of Unst. It was closed! If it wasn’t for bad luck we wouldn’t have no luck at all.
The Uk’s most northerly tearoom
We had an odd experience here. As far as we could make out we were the only people around for miles apart from two Americans working in the garden of the house next door. They were speaking loudly to each other but apart from a curt “it’s closed“, they steadfastly ignored us. That’s in spite of us being just a few feet away in this vast expanse of emptiness. Having become so used to the warmth and friendliness of the Shetlanders we found this a little disconcerting. Before we get into trouble with our American readers let us emphasise that we are not saying this is stereotypical American behaviour. We know the complete opposite to be true … honest!
End of the world
Not to worry, a little further along the road at Hermaness we reached the end of the road and our destination, the Muckle Flugga lighthouse. No ferries, bookable or otherwise, to the island but at least we could see it. To the east lies the Norwegian Sea, to the north the Artic ocean and to the left the Atlantic. Apart from a nature reserve there’s nothing here. It has that Tierra del Fuego “end of the world” feel about it.
The lighthouse was built in 1854 to protect naval vessels going to war in Crimea … somethings never change! My birthday present bottle of Muckle Flugga whisky is supposed to be stored for 12 months in a cave near here to give it its unique characteristic flavour. Couldn’t find the cave!
Men!
It used to be most northerly inhabited island in the UK until 1995 when the lighthouse was automated. That honour has now passed to Unst. For those interested in geology, Muckle Flugga was formed when two giants fell in love with the same mermaid. They fought over her by throwing large rocks at each other, one of which became Muckle Flugga. To get rid of them, the mermaid offered to marry whichever one would follow her to the North Pole. They both followed her and drowned, as neither could swim. Men??
Sconeless we headed south again and this was when we came on the Final Checkout, the most northerly shop in the UK. Amazingly, at £1.55 a litre it also seemed to have the cheapest diesel in the UK.
No scones so we decided to have a sassermaet (correct spelling) and egg roll.
Our Unst scone
Sassermeat is a Shetland speciality. It’s like what we would call ‘square’ or ‘Lorne’ sausage but made with their own spices. It had to be sampled. It was excellent but definitely not a scone! The initial appearance of The Final Checkout is deceptive. It’s big and has just about everything you could possibly think of: plumbing, electrical, household, groceries .. it’s all here! When I said to them “if I was to ask you for something you haven’t got, I would be struggling” They simply replied “If we’ve not got it, we’ll get it for you” … simple! We left with a supply of sassermaet to take home as a reminder of a very enjoyable visit.
Honesty
We have been surprised by the number of honesty boxes on Shetland … there’s a lot. A bit further down the road at Baltasound we came across this one.
The bus shelter is the famous Bobby’s bus shelter. Bobby was a local boy who got his father to campaign to have the shelter reinstated after it was removed by the Council. He used to cycle to catch the bus and needed somewhere to leave his bike. Once it was put back odd things happened. Every summer it mysteriously acquires a sofa, a TV, a microwave, curtains and even its own website.
The honesty boxes usually contain things like eggs, jam, sweets and cakes and have little cash boxes for the money … a problem in our cashless society. This one was in the form of a little house and when we lifted the roof it revealed boxes of eggs and packets of Shetland fudge. We had three one pound coins so the fudge was ours … yeah! It’s rather nice to see these things all over the place and we think it says something about the way of life up here.
To add to the general weirdness, the little traffic island adjacent to the shelter is dedicated to renowned disk jockey, John Peel who died in Peru a few years ago! Why?
Return to Lerwick
The notice says: This is an honesty cafe, so help yourselves, use the book to write down what you have taken and paid … and enjoy!
On our return journey we took the road down the east coast of Yell. Near Burravoe we discovered Le Petit Cafe – Chez Simone. Unfortunately, only open in the summer but it even has its own Unst Weather Rock … more fun than looking at your phone! Back in Lerwick and dinner in the Dowry. Oh dear we’re getting near the end of our Shetland adventure.
Fingers crossed
Today, Scotland’s new First Minister, Humza Yousaf, was announced following the sudden resignation of Nicola Sturgeon. Hopefully he will accelerate our journey to becoming a self respecting independent country once again!
ps: our Austrian correspondents have sent a photo of a “delicious” scone they had in the cafe of the Tower of London. Last year they travelled all over South Korea but it was sconeless. Okay, we can delete South Korea from our bucket list. Many thanks M&C
Although 4 Coo Wynd is only a few minutes walk from our home it’s three years since we were last here. Goodness, a lot has happened since then! Back then we were bemoaning the fact that businesses in Falkirk didn’t seem to last. This place was called Cafe Trio back then and before that it was Sorocha’s and before that it was Mathiesons and before that, in 2003, it was Sleeves … a record shop – remember them? Having said all that, 4 Coo Wynd is right next door to Thomas Johnston Butchers, established in 1861, so what on earth are we going on about??
Cow Wynd with Santa overhead
Three years ago we were debating the important issues of the day e.g. what jam to have with a treacle scone and would Brexit have an effect on the scone supplies. The answer to the first question was ‘none’, just butter is best. Brexit hadn’t yet happened but we were looking forward to the promised sunny uplands. Still waiting! Didn’t bother discussing COVID-19 because we had never heard of it!
Back to the present. For the benefit of our far flung readers we should perhaps explain the name “4 Coo Wynd”. It is simply the address of the cafe which, more accurately is 4 ‘Cow’ Wynd. Coo is simply Scottish pronunciation of “cow”. In the 18th century, Falkirk Tryst was the biggest cattle market in the country. The town was a rumbustious place in those days. However, there is more to Falkirk than just cows … much more.
This was as far north as the Romans got. They liked it so much they decided to settle here, a sort of shangrila. Emperor Antoninus even built a wall across Scotland and through the town to protect it from less civilised influences. Traces of this period can still be found with the ice cream parlours scattered around the town?
Falkirk has seen two major battles. The first, in 1298, was one of the major battles in the First War of Scottish Independence … can you believe it’s still going on? The second was in 1746, the penultimate battle fought on British soil but fought for the same reason as the first.
In 1565 the marriage agreement between Mary Queen of Scots and the Dauphin of France was signed at Callendar House. She would become Queen of France as well as Scotland.
In the 18th century the town became the heart of the iron industry with 61 foundries. Starting with munitions for the Battle of Trafalgar to the famous red telephone boxes still found all around the world. The inventiveness of these foundries making baths, stoves and sanitary ware led to massive increases in public health and comfort.
Now the town has the Falkirk Wheel and the Kelpies and shortly, two distilleries … what’s not to like?
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Okay, okay, the world owes a great deal to Falkirk but can we just get on with scones, we hear you cry! We decided to start with a bacon roll from their all-day-breakfast menu, followed by a fruit scone. Probably the best bacon rolls we have ever tasted … excellent! The scone was very good too but, unfortunately just not quite good enough to make the topscone grade. Shame, the service was warm and friendly, we thoroughly enjoyed our visit to 4 Coo Wynd.
Predictions
Given the current fiasco that passes for UK government we, perhaps, shouldn’t be all that surprised at the predictions of a recent poll. It says that, at the next election, ALL Scottish MPs at Westminster will be from the Scottish National Party. We did mention earlier that the first battle of Falkirk in 1298 was during the Wars of Scottish Independence. Soooo, do you think that, if this prediction actually came to pass, it would make any difference? Of course not!
the High Street
Three years ago we also reviewed a scone from Passiontree Velvet in Toowoomba, Queensland. These were the heady days of unrestricted travel and bountiful scones all over the world … ahh, the memories! Once again it looks like our scone adventuring has been brought to a shuddering halt by COVID-19. 4 Coo Wynd will probably be our last for a while. That means we need to take this opportunity to wish all our readers a very merry Christmas and a happy, healthy and prosperous 2022 when it comes. You have put up with our rants for a very long time, best wishes to you all!
We are on the golf course today! Now those of you who know us are aware that that statement is nonsense. The Venue at the Braes Golf Centre is only a couple of miles from home yet we had never heard of it. In our defense, there are some mitigating circumstances. Until recently it was called Polmont Golf Course and it has moved from where it used to be. It is now located in Maddiston on the the high ground to the south of Falkirk. So they’ve moved it and changed the name … it’s almost as if they are trying to avoid us! It only came onto our radar because our Trossachs correspondents visited the Venue recently and were impressed with what was going on.
Work in progress, the course is yet to mature properly
Work in progress
The title picture is taken from the car park and as you can see the Venue is not exactly a thing of beauty. In fact, when we got chatting to the new owner, Steve Matthews, he called it a carbuncle. Steve is a brave guy. He has rescued the golf club mid-pandemic and has big plans to make it a goto golf destination. In the meantime it’s a work in progress.
Inside there is a nice restaurant but because it was quite a good day we opted for the outdoor area. It is set up with picnic table type seating and has a couple of gazebos in case the weather should become inclement … perish the thought! It is located on top of a hill and Steve told us that there used to be three gazebos but the day before, one blew away. Now we understood why there’s a huge windmill towering over the whole course.
Surprising
Obviously we were not here for the golf but on the way through the restaurant we did get our eye on some scones. Steve had told us that, because they don’t have a full staff, they only had one chef and he was on a couple of days off. All they could do was coffee and cakes. A delightful young waitress looked after us and before long our scone arrived. Now we knew before we started that this was never going to be a topscone; no chef, so not particularly fresh; no cream and no Scottish butter. In addition we suspected that the apricot jam wasn’t from Scotland either!? Having said all that however, it was all surprisingly good.
If the welcome and the almost palpable energy is anything to go by The Venue and the Braes Golf Centre will be firmly back on the map very soon. We wish Steve and his team all the luck in the world.
The Venue, from one the nine holes at the Braes Golf Centre
Save Scotland
Well the results of the Scottish elections are in and independence supporting parties now have a big majority at Holyrood. Will this make any difference? Of course not! The UK is now to be held together by force of law rather than consent. Westminster will not give the Scottish people a say in their own destiny. Apparently it is for our own good because we would never be able to manage our £40 billion deficit! This from a government with a £2 trillion deficit.
Also, in spite of having 32% of the land and most of the natural resources we are too small to survive on our own. And in spite of having some of the best universities in the world we are also too stupid. Thank goodness we have the BBC and Boris to save us from ourselves. Who would have thought that the fate of Scotland and its people would lie squarely in the hands of a super wealthy, over privileged blubbering idiot who is too frightened to even visit Scotland. Really, you couldn’t make it up!
Guess where we are? We’re out and about … yeah! Although we have been legally allowed to do this for a couple of weeks now we haven’t ventured very far. We thought we would just wait until all the excited crowds died down a wee bit. But today we are being super adventurous and have traveled all of six miles to the Granary Café in Linlithgow. Goodness, we were even on a motorway for all of half a mile … exciting! After having been locked down for so long, however, it really did feel like an adventure! Finally out sconing again and acting on a tip-off we received a couple of weeks back.
Big bad world
Our informant said that the scones at the Granary Café were worth checking out. Over the years we have visited several cafés in the town but it’s been such a long time, we couldn’t remember if the Granary was one of them. A quick search for ‘Linlithgow’ on allaboutthescones threw up seven we had already reviewed but the Granary wasn’t one. Okay, today was the day as we gently ventured forth once again into the big bad world.
It was great to see everyone sitting in the sunshine at the pub next door but we were just revelling in the fact that we were able to sit inside and be served a scone by very helpful staff. Hoping for a choice of fruit or plain our waitress threw us a curved ball when she offered us a mango and coconut scone. In the interests of scon ological research it had to be done … Pat opted for fruit.
Keeping it real
I would never normally go for hot chocolate but this offering seemed too good to miss so hot chocolate it was. Wow, as if just being out wasn’t enough!
We didn’t have long to wait before we realised our mistake.
Mango and coconut scone
The scones looked fabulous but were of a size that meant we should have shared one between us. A topscone would have been nice to celebrate our first outing but sadly, it wasn’t to be. Although nice enough they were just too big for our liking and they didn’t actually taste as if they were freshly baked … Irish butter and no cream! Not to worry, the mango and coconut was good and a new experience but not one I would rush to repeat. The fruit scone was nice but Pat could only manage half. The real hot chocolate?? Nice for a change but again not something I would make a habit of. In spite of all this carping we really enjoyed this place. It is well presented with an emphasis on healthy eating and the staff were super friendly. Many thanks to SS for the tip, we will be back.
Learning from history
Just a stone’s throw from the Granary lies the Cross Well. In 1650 it was badly damaged by the occupying forces of Oliver Cromwell. A tradition carried in 1746 when the Duke of Cumberland set fire to the Palace … just another stone’s throw away.
You would think that Scots would have learned from this that, when it comes to looking after Scotland’s interests, those in the south are maybe not as good as the Scots themselves at making decisions in Scotland’s interest. In two days time Scotland goes to the polls, not to vote on independence but to hopefully start a process that will lead to Scots being able to make their own decisions. Only then we can strike up a proper relationship with our friends to the south .. one built on mutual respect and understanding. In the meantime we have to put up with another couple of days of Westminster’s Project Fear…scary!
People born in Linlithgow are known as Black Bitches. Alex Salmond was born in Linlithgow. Is that relevant? We’re not sure.
Now, you may be puzzled by the Scone 54 title of this post? Let us explain. We don’t normally get personal in this blog … except of course with eejits like Johnson and Cameron. Normally we try and keep things fairly anonymous because after all this is a serious, insightful, hard hitting blog that politicians and shoddy sconeries have come to fear! Yeah right! However, on this occasion we are prepared to make an exception. This is a little bit personal but, we’ll hope you agree, for a valid reason.
Good friends, A&A (we’ll keep it slightly anonymous), were celebrating their 54th wedding anniversary and as a result invited us round to their house for a cream tea. Now do you get the Scone 54 title?
Lucky, lucky lucky
We thought about the invitation for all of what must have been a fraction of a nanosecond … a no-brainer! What an achievement! Not many people get the pleasure of spending this amount of time with their loved ones. Having said that, all our friends have been married for what seems like all of their lives a
scones al fresco
nd they are, without exception, very happy. Not sure if that says anything about our generation or the times we were brought up in but probably not. We have all just been very lucky with our partners. At 54 years, however, A&A are leading the charge . I am reluctant to say that I was their best man because it reveals my age as being greater than mid fifties … but I was!
Scotland is having wonderful weather for April so we sat in the their back garden (COVID rules still don’t allowed us to have friends indoors) and were treated to homemade scones served with strawberry jam and lots of cream … oh, and bubbles. Can you think of a better way to spend an afternoon?
The scones were definitely topscones … and we are not just saying that out of politeness to A&A. Just the right size, slightly crunchy exterior and wonderfully soft interior. In fact, everything was perfect.
54 at 54
By the time we had eaten all the scones and drunk all the bubbles we wanted to carry on so Pat invited everyone round to ours for a BBQ. That went on until well after dark and many sausages and burgers were dispatched in the process. The culmination was a marshmallow toasting session over the fire.
A fantastic way to celebrate a fantastic achievement with fantastic friends. If you are wondering what 54 years of togetherness, making and eating scones looks like, look no further. Many thanks A&A.
Because Scone 54 is more of a personal post we thought we might leave the politics off to one side for a change. Then we thought that A&A would definitely prefer us to take a potshot at Boris & Co.
Westminster now seems to be abandoning the voluntary nature of the Act of Union that currently binds the four distinct parts of the UK together. It has done for over 300 years. Now they are thinking of bringing in legislation to make it illegal to have a referendum on Scottish Independence until Westminster thinks it’s a good idea … in other words, sometime never! The Union will be maintained by force of law. The people of Scotland won’t have a say in their own future. That’s UK democracy! Au contraire Boris, the Scottish people will have their say and you better believe it. With a bit of luck you will go down in history as the man who broke the Union! Okay, that’s it, another marshmallow please.
In what is fast becoming a tradition we bring you another non-scone – cheese muffins. Yes, they’re not scones but they are the best we can do in the circumstances. During lockdown we’ve already brought you tattle scones, Scottish empire biscuits, Welsh cakes, German Devil’s farts and even Norwegian skillngsboller … you can’t say we’re not trying. VERY TRYING, we hear you groan! Anyway cheese muffins make regular appearances in our house. Unlike her, not so successful hot cross buns, Pat can rustle up a batch of cheese muffins in a veritable flash. They’re delicious.
All you need is 150g plain flour, 50g cheddar cheese (roughly chopped), large pinch of salt, 20ml baking powder, 1 egg and 100ml of milk. Mix it all together, divide into individual portions and stick them in the oven for 7-10 minutes. Bingo, lay them out on a wire rack.
How do you eat them? With strawberry jam if that’s what floats your boat but probably best just with a little butter. On this occasion we decided to add even more cheese … wonderful.
The cooker is everything
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Back in 1982 when we bought this house it came complete with an AGA cooker. Pat took to it like a duck to water. It hasn’t changed its design since the first one was made in1947 and you can’t say that about many things these days. They say that an AGA becomes part of your family. We can testify to that. Here you can see Pat with the Christmas turkey and, in the background, you can also see our cream coloured AGA! This is what our AGA family looks like … honest!
Changing the world
I think we’ve mentioned before that Scotland is holding the Scottish Government elections in a month’s time. It’s not going to be just any election, no, no, no. It’s going to be an election with the potential to change the world, to change maps, to change everything as we know it.
Should the independence leaning parties get an overall majority, it will make Westminster’s refusal to permit a referendum look more than a wee bit silly. At the start of the campaign in the 2014 referendum the SNP started with 27% support. This time they’re starting at over 50%. The unionist parties are terrified. They keep telling us we’re too small, too poor and too stupid so you’d think they would be glad to see the back of us. In an independent Scotland there would be free scones, free jam and free cream for everyone though no one has actually promised that … yet! We are looking forward to the day when the people of Scotland, rather than a bunch of public school numpties in Westminster, can actually decide their own future. Anyway, no matter what happens, it will be exciting … watch this space.
Morrison’s afternoon tea box, okay, maybe this is the actual bottom of the sconology barrel? We have, of course, been here before. About eighteen months ago we were at Morrison’s Café and not only that, we had two mini-Vikings with us. We were buying costumes for Halloween so that we could go round our neighbourhood scaring everyone half to death. Remember … we were once able to do that! Before COVID and Brexit that was called ‘normal’. Anyway, the mini-Vikings abandoned us on Saturday so that they could go back to school in London. Pat is, once again, flying solo on the baking front.
Surprise
Coronavirus restrictions mean that we are still not allowed to go anywhere. Mind you, everything is closed so there’s nowhere to actually go anyway. In these circumstances we thought it might be worth trying Morrison’s Afternoon Tea Box. The advert looked quite good (see title picture) and it was only £20 or £25 if we wanted to upgrade it with prosecco. And it would be delivered to our door at no extra cost. Predictably perhaps we upgraded … why not? It arrived bang on time and we were excited to see what it would actually be like. We were more than a little surprised, however, when we opened the box and saw what we had bought.
DIY
It wasn’t so much an afternoon tea as an afternoon tea kit. More a box of groceries from which it would be possible to make an afternoon tea if you were so inclined. A whole loaf, a jar of pickle, two boxes of cakes, a large chunk of cheese, a packet of ham, tea bags, carton of milk, big pot of jam and a large (burst) packet of lightly salted crips. Enough to make afternoon teas for a small army. Crickey, we could have just gone to the shop and bought all this stuff.
We decided to look it all up online and see how much it would have cost if we had done that. Sad, we know but we had nothing better to do! You will see from the results that we would also have been cheaper. We would have saved £0.48. To a tight-fisted Scotsman that’s equivalent to at least two mouthfuls of beer. We really don’t know what Morrisons is thinking about with this product. To be fair, when we went back and checked the advert it did list everything underneath the picture. We should have looked more carefully.
Anyway, once we had recovered from the realisation that there was nothing else for it but to knuckle down and make our own afternoon tea. We duly set about making the sandwiches, decanting the cakes and unpacking the scones. Eventually we sat down to relax in front of the fire with the fruits of our labours.
Experience
It wasn’t like any other afternoon tea we have ever had but all in all it wasn’t that bad. Maybe it was the fact that we had been more involved or maybe it was just that we were nice and cozy and catching up with missed episodes of Coronation Street. Who knows? The scones were okay but nowhere near a topscone. Of course, there was enough in the box to make several more of these afternoon teas but I don’t think we’ll bother. Putting it all down to experience … read the ads carefully!
So the mini-Vikings are delighted to be back in school with their friends, a huge relief for the home-working parents. Meanwhile Boris Johnson is reportedly building a £9m bunker beneath the Cabinet Office for use in emergencies. Is he thinking of when he refuses another independence referendum for Scotland. He might need it.
by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics
Well, they still are and they had four different types for us to choose from! Somewhat unenterprisingly we decided on fruit scones, or sultana as it’s known in these parts.
