Tag Archives: Rodda’s Cornish Cream

Fredericton

5 January 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Happy New Year everyone! We hope that you enjoy a happy, healthy and prosperous 2022. May all your scones be topscones filled with lots of lovely jam and cream! Normally we spend Hogmanay at our local pub but this year, due to COVID restrictions, we decided to give it a miss and just spent it at home.

So far, the year has been scone free but needless to say we hadn’t reckoned on our correspondents. The last place we expected to hear about a scone, however, was Fredericton, the capital of New Brunswick in Canada.

Heroic adventure

Two of our correspondents got in touch to try and claim the highest scone ever featured on this blog. Wait until Richard Branson hears about this! Will he take up the challenge? Our correspondents had gone to extraordinary lengths! Refreshing to realise that folk still have that heroic spirit of adventure; 1st to the South Pole; 1st to climb Everest etc etc. You can probably tell from the title photo, however, that they did not transport a scone to the summit of Everest, a mere 29,000 ft … no, no, no, they had higher aspirations. 40,000 ft to be precise. And even though Everest grows at 1.5 inches a year, that was going to take a long time. They eventually managed to do it albeit with a little assistance from British Airways.

Unaware

Fredericton used to be called Pointe Ste-Anne until the British drove out the French settlers in 1758 and renamed it after one of King George III’s fifteen children. What are we Brits like? The French were foreigners in Canada after all?? Whatever, we are pretty sure that the 60,000 good people of Fredricton would have had no inkling of the momentous sconological event happening directly overhead.

A scone on board BA flight — Scone with height confirmation from flight information

By all accounts the scone was rather good but of course our correspondents were not qualified to give any sort of award, It does look a little odd in appearance and it is amazing that Rodda’s Cornish Cream can get to these dizzying heights as well as just about everywhere else on the planet. They thoroughly enjoyed them, however, and that’s all that really matters, isn’t it! As for the highest scone award, yes this is indeed it. Our previous high flying scone was a measly 33,000 feet but we cannot remember who reported it. We have introduced a new ‘highest’ category however, so if any of you want to challenge perhaps you should contact Branson, Bezos or Musk.

Travelling in COVID times

Needless to say, our correspondents did not do this specifically to gain the highest scone award, fantastic though it may be. No, they were going to visit family in Conneticut and in these COVID times that is no mean feat. To quote “not difficult taking the tests but filling in the required half baked and inaccurate websites is mind numbing. “Help line” has now become the world’s greatest oxymoron”. They made it, however, so congratulations on that as well as their scone achievement.

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PS: when we reported from Cafe Circa we said that we would let you know what the book we bought, ‘A Tillyloss Scandal’ was about. The author was none other than J.M. Barrie who created Peter Pan. He was from Kirriemuir which he called Thrums in the many stories he wrote about the town. Most of the dialogue is in the local dialect … so not a particularly easy read! It is set in the early 1800s: “Tillyloss is three broken rows of houses in the east end of Thrums, with gardens between them, nearly every one of which used to contain a pig-sty“.

Attending your own funeral

The main character is one Tammas Haggart. When he discovered that his wife, Christy, pretended to her friends that she was married to another man he was not best pleased that she should think so little of him. He left, not knowing where he would end up. After walking some distance he eventually fell asleep sitting against a tree. He awoke to find that he had been robbed of his hat and his great coat that had been lying beside him. Unbeknown to him the thief fell into a nearby quarry and died with a badly damaged face. The local folk, however, identified him as Tammas simply by the clothes he was wearing. Later when Tammas returned to the town he overheard folk talking of his demise and of the funeral arrangements. Thus, a few days later, from a distance, he was able to observe his own funeral.

Tammas went off and had many adventures as far as Edinburgh and some even say London. Eventually some years later he returned to Thrums and, of course, caused quite a stir. Consternation caused by the fact that not only was he alive but who on earth had they buried? Tammas went home to see Christy but rather than a big welcome he found her sitting quietly by the fire smoking his pipe.

As scandals go?

So now you know. Not perhaps a scandal on the scale we have nowadays with Andrew, Duke of York and Ghislaine Maxwell. However, it turns out that Prince Andrew is simply maintaining a long standing tradition. In 1809 the then Duke of York was disgraced in similar circumstances. Have no fear, however, we are sure, that Humpty Dumpty’s Duke of York was an honourable exception … phew!

Scones, Uncategorized

The Little Big Dairy Company

22 September 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

This post is slightly different. It doesn’t actually involve any scones directly but rather indicates how to ensure your scone is spoilt rotten by treating it and yourself to some real cream. It’s all part of sconology. According to our New South Welshman correspondent (rides shotgun for our Bathurst correspondent), cream doesn’t come any better than that produced by the Little Big Dairy Company and its herd of 800 Holstein cows. In his own words, here’s why:

“The first Saturday in September is Father’s Day in New South Wales (remember we are no longer Australians, but a collection of warring states). Your Bathurst corespondent’s loving daughter presented a most wonderful jar of health-giving cream, from a small family-owned ethical dairy. Food for thought. In my childhood milk was extracted from a happy cow, placed in a large bowl in the fridge, and later the cream scooped from the top with a large spoon. Oh, bliss! Occasionally a separator was used— awful to wash up. At the same time, most farm kids had lumps or scars in their necks from bovine TB. Scottish milk was described (in Microbiology lectures in the late 1960s) as “ Tuberculous Pus”

Public health rules have undoubtedly produced many benefits, but pondering the origins of our food is important. Most milk in Western countries is now produced in industrial factories. Cows in sheds, no sunshine, no happy days playing in green grass. Cream emerges from the end of a factory, great distances from the cow

Jam on top?

Little big Australian real cream — Stand your spoon up cream

Your Bathurst correspondent was in heaven eating his ethical cream on fresh scones. (It’s so thick it must be eaten in the Devon way— cream first, jam on top — even if YOUR Queen disagrees). Pay a bit more, get the real stuff”.

Fantastic, more power to the Little Big Dairy Company! However, we may have to agree with Her Majesty about cream placement … no matter how thick it is! We would like to say that we were not around in the 60s to enjoy “ Tuberculous Pus” but of course we were. Happily, we can report wonderful silky smooth necks though some say that’s due to continuous use of Brasso. Unfortunately, for most readers, you have to live in New South Wales to enjoy the benefits of the Little Big Dairy Company’s produce. In this globalised world, however, it would not surprise us if someone started importing Little Big cream to the UK. Crikey, we complain about Scotland importing Rodda’s Cornish cream.

Good riddance

He also comments on some political news. Even though he says Australia is now a collection of warring states they all seem to have come together in a show of unity to say “good riddance” to former Prime Minister of Australia, Tony Abbott. In case you don’t know, in yet another of Boris’s brain farts, he has appointed Abbott as an official trade adviser to the UK. “Thank you so much for taking Tony Abbott off our hands. If “ The Mad Monk “ is your answer, what is your question?? Our pugilistic, misogynist, climate change denying, failed ex-Prime Minister will happily negotiate away anything you value. Goodbye NHS, affordable pharmaceuticals, any health, ethical or environmental regulations. Welcome chlorinated chicken and any man-made toxin now banned in the EU. Please keep him. He and Boris obviously get on very well.”

Mystery?

No wonder they get on very well! Boris Johnson says that Abbott was elected by the “great liberal democratic nation of Australia”, but he fails to note that Abbott broke almost every election promise he ever made. Abbott reckons climate change is “absolute crap” and as far as we know he has never negotiated a trade deal in his life. Maybe Boris just wants some advice on how to cope with being ditched after only one term in government. How do eejits like Abbott, Johnson and Trump get elected to the highest office in the first place? It’s a mystery! It’s unbelievable!

Our New South Welshman ends reassuringly: “We are surviving well by finding small pleasures in life, like a shared liking of scones”. Nice to think that on the opposite side of the world we are surviving in exactly the same way. Many thanks JB, keep up the good work.

Dubbo NSW 2830 tel: +61 02 6887 3443 Little Big Dairy

///basher.fashioning.sour

K2 telephone box — FMF hope to persuade BT to reinstall a K2 in the High Street … the only K2 in Scotland.

ps: Our telephone box enthusiasts will be pleased to hear that our little organisation Falkirk Made Friends (FMF) have convinced BT to take away all removal notices from the town’s telephone boxes and persuaded the local Council to adopt three of them. Falkirk manufactured the first K2 boxes in 1926 and, over the years, most of the subsequent K4s and K6s. The town was within a week or so of completely losing this iconic symbol of its industrial heritage. There is much more work still to be done to ensure their future in the form of an Iron Heritage Trail. In the meantime, we would be grateful for photographs of telephone boxes from anywhere in the world.

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Kelpies Café

16 October 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

Today we find ourselves at the Kelpies Café. We are ashamed! People come from all over the world to see the Kelpies in Falkirk but, up until now, we have never been. Not strictly true because we have been here dropping people off and such like but this is the first time we have actually set out to visit. They were opened six years ago so it’s not as if we haven’t had time. You know how it is, however, when it’s on your doorstep you can always go tomorrow and sometimes tomorrow just never comes! So, after an uneventful five minute drive, on a glorious autumn day, we were here at last.

What actually is a kelpie we hear you ask? Well, it’s a Scottish shape shifting aquatic spirit that frequents lochs and rivers. Usually in the form of a beautiful horse. They are not really comparable to Nessie, except in that, like Nessie, they appear infrequently. Unbelievably, some people have gone through their entire lives without ever seeing either.

Handsome?

Almost exactly three years ago when we reported on the Venachar Lochside Café we recounted an incident where a kelpie from that particular loch would sometimes appear as a handsome young man and lure young women and children into the water. It would then drag them under and devour them. There’s a theory that Boris Johnson may actually be a kelpie trying to lure about sixty million people towards a similar frightful fate. The ‘handsome’ bit, however, throws serious doubt on this theory’s veracity.

Our Kelpies today, however, bear none of that malevolence. They merely celebrate the part the heavy horse has played in shaping the Falkirk area in years gone by – pulling coal barges, ploughs and wagons. They are situated at the east end of the Forth & Clyde canal where it joins the river Forth. You can only see their magnificent heads, the rest is under the water … obviously. They are spectacular and we can quite understand why people travel from far and near to see them.

However, after wandering around looking at all the boats and admiring the sculptures a scone soon beckoned. There are three cafés here. Our café of choice turned out to be the one imaginatively called ‘Café’. It’s part of the visitor centre and is fairly typical of such places. Self service but quite a wide range of food options available. We both plumped for a fruit scone. Our relatively low expectations, however, were completely confounded when they turned out to be rather nice.

A scone at the Kelpies in Falkirk — Spot the fruit

We might have awarded a topscone were it not for the fact that there was no cream (not even Roddas) and hardly any fruit. They might have been better billed as plain scones. Of course, then we would have complained that our plain scones had a bit of fruit in them. There’s just no pleasing some folk! Everything else was fine, however, so overall we enjoyed our visit and our scone. We may even come back!

In brief

The UK shape shifting government looks as if it is going to try and cobble together another deal with the EU. Who knows what’s going to happen? With a completely shapeless opposition, however, they might actually even get it passed, even if it’s worse than Theresa May’s deal! Some people have complained that the explanation of Brexit in our Muircot Farm post was far too long. Hopefully this one, stolen from the internet, is more concise and clearly encapsulates Britain’s negotiating strategy.

FK2 7ZT tel: 01324 590600 The Kelpies Café

///branded.highs.rungs

Scones, topweird

Café des Fleurs

31 July 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Well, well, well! In the miniscule amount of time since our previous post at Mill House, Monzie we have chucked one Prime Minister on the scrap heap and replaced her with another … wow, such efficiency! It has to be said that the UK has a brilliant system whereby a mere handful of over-privileged, geriatric, tax dodging idiots are allowed to appoint the leader of the country. It’s amazing really but not unique … Russia and China have similar arrangements. Anyway the Trump clone that is Boris Johnston has so far refused to meet anyone in the EU … gosh, isn’t he a tough cookie? However, on Monday he did meet with Nicola Sturgeon at Bute House in Edinburgh. You shouldn’t read too much into the fact that he had to leave by the back door … no, you shouldn’t, really you shouldn’t!

Day trip

Anyway, gripped as we were by Boris’s promise of a gazillion £s for Falkirk, today, to temper our excitement, we decided to get out of town and go for a drive along the Hillfoots. Turned out that our target scone cafe was closed so we had to carry on into the pretty little town of Dollar. It’s the sort of town that probably harbours some of the idiots who voted for our new leader. Though to be fair, these idiots were being asked to choose between two other idiots … tricky! But never mind all that, here we found the delightful Café des Fleurs, They only had a couple of outside tables, all taken, however it was no hardship and a bit cooler to sit inside.

Cream disasters

They advertise their scones as being ‘famous’ so obviously we had to determine whether this claim was justified or not. They had plain, fruit or blueberry and white chocolate scones. Pat had fruit and, of course, I had to try the blueberry and white chocolate. Service was very friendly and efficient so it wasn’t long before we were all kitted out. Sacre bleu, mon dieu, it’s Rodda’s Cornish Cream again. I know we go on about it but why oh why do they do that when much better stuff is available locally? All in all we enjoyed Café des Fleurs. Pat thought her scone wasn’t quite top but mine, apart from the cream was excellent … topweirdscone. As for them being ‘famous’, well I guess they are a bit more now.

Queenie and Bojo

The cafe was nicely decorated with a kind of shabby-chic look. One of the pictures was a bit puzzling though. “Queenie says: coffee – the favourite drink of the civilised” followed by “Give us a kiss”. We could argue that it’s tea that’s the favourite of the civilised however maybe that would be splitting hairs. If Queenie wants a kiss, however, she is going to have to wait a while … a long while! Bojo on the other hand would gladly give her a kiss, so desperate is he to please anyone he meets. You do wonder if the UK would ever have found itself in this ludicrous situation over Brexit and now with an equally ludicrous PM if we had had an opposition party worthy of the name. One can only wonder!

FK14 7DE tel: 01259 743699 Cafe des Fleurs

///named.serious.shakes

ps Our intrepid Trossachs correspondents have just sent us photos of some telephone boxes up north. The first picture is of a fine array of K6s at Fort George, just east of Inverness. Bojo may be promising lots of money for Falkirk however it looks like Fort George will have more K6s than our home town. Falkirk is undergoing a programme of K6 removals, even though many were actually made there. First M&S deserted the town now our telephone boxes are going as well. What next? On the upside, if the money promised to the town ever appears, we will doubtless have Kelpies and Wheels all over the place.

The second K6 is from the Saracen foundry in Glasgow. It was at the Highland Folk Museum in Newtonmore. It even had the old mechanism with the A and B buttons. More than that it had a long set on instructions on how to make a telephone call. Also an advert for a brand new way to send greetings oversees … the new ‘De Luxe’ Telegram Service…. nostalgia!

Many thanks once again to our correspondents.

foreign, Scones, Uncategorized

The Lemon Tree – Mijas

8 June 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Remember our Trossachs correspondents? We haven’t heard from them in a while but that does not mean a lack of discipline on their part. They have been diligent in their scone searches, however, a recent visit to Sri Lanka simply did not yield any finds. In order to understand the mess the world is in you have to realise that many countries do not benefit from the civilising effect of scones. They are scone deserts! Okay, okay, what about the the UK, we hear you cry? We know … it’s simply inexplicable that a scone rich country like the UK should find itself in such a perilous state. Perhaps it should be compulsory for all politicians to have afternoon tea every day?

Snorters

Anyway our correspondents are on their travels yet again and have sent a comprehensive report which neatly fits into our recent run of nautical scones, albeit these ones are more ‘aeronautical’. It also provides a welcome distraction from Michael Gove’s confession to being a bit of a coke snorter. Is he trying to appear normal in some way? Although he says he finished with Class A drugs more than twenty years ago it looks, to us, as if they are still having a profound effect today.

In our correspondents own words

Greetings from Mijas (pronounced Meehas) in sunny Spain, a long time favourite of ours. We love its narrow lanes, stunning flora, evening tranquillity and unspoilt ethnic nature and views over the Med. The licensed taxis are even donkeys. No skyscaper apartment blocks, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger Houses or English Breakfasts here . So we thought!

On previous visits to the Costa del Sol we have avoided the beach culture of the large resorts which has extremely limited our search for scones. Our only previous success when we visited Gibraltar and sampled scones of an inferior nature. Mijas has now presented us with a cultural dilemma. On our first evening we noticed The Lemon Tree – a new café type restaurant tucked into a corner of the Plaza de la Constitution and horror of all horrors it proudly advertised Full English Breakfast. However, we were partly consoled that they also offered cream tea for two at a very reasonable 6.95 Euros. Should we, shouldn’t we? This morning we yielded and after a brisk walk around the village and its old walls we headed towards the Lemon Tree to sample our first scones in Spain.

The place was mobbed but we managed to get the last outside seat and placed our order.
In the parlance of AllAboutTheScones, the scones were well presented with an accompanying pot of tea, strawberry jam and a tub of Rodda’s Cornish Cream. They were nice and warm, crisp on the outside, fluffy in the centre and surprisingly delicious – real candidates for Paterson Top Scone if the cream had been fresh. To be fair butter was an option. We’ll be back, but may sacrifice the scones for the Lemon drizzle cake with Ice cream!

NB we give Rodda’s Cornish Cream a hard time but only when it is served in Scotland. Scotland has plenty of its own cream. However, a Cornish Cream tea in southern Spain is obviously genuine so the use of Rodda’s is perfectly acceptable.

29650 Mijas tel: Jan 634153256 Lemon Tree FB

///second.thick.afflict

The Mango

Can Mijas be the scone capital of Spain? Fresh from the pleasures of the Lemon Tree we have found another gem, The Mango Café. It is hidden away in the corner of a courtyard. We enjoyed a cream tea which will sound familiar to you two Top Sconers. Not too big, warm, crisp on the outside, soft and fluffy in the centre and served with real cream and home made strawberry jam. Absolutely delicious!!!

Sincere thanks to our corespondents. Their admirable dedication and excellent reports have brought a ray of sunshine to the blog.

29650 Mijas tel: +34 951 53 54 82 The Mango Café FB

///bashed.laying.flagged

Ordinary, Scones

Bo’ness & Kinneil Railway

1 May 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

You’ve all heard of Albert Einstein … general clever clogs with all the fancy theories and the big toes. Today, in a somewhat similar vein, we are testing our own Theory of Sconativity SS=(s¹,s²) where SS = scone satisfaction, s¹ = speed of scone and s² = speed of person eating scone. If s¹ and s² have the same value then SS can be achieved. Normally this theory is of little importance because everything is static however it’s of supreme importance when scones are moving. Okay, too much science?

The Lord Robert steam train at Bo'ness and Kinneil Railway — Lord Roberts at Manuel Junction with the electrified Glasgow Edinburgh line on the right

The test is being conducted on board the Bo’ness and Kinneil steam railway which is Scotland’s equivalent of the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva which also, in its own small way, tests the predictions of different theories of particle physics … crumbs?! We are using the Lord Roberts steam engine which was built in Glasgow in 1899. It’s sometimes used for Thomas The Tank Engine outings. Today it is our scone accelerator.

Journey time enough?

There is something rather surreal and exciting about having afternoon tea on a train. It probably happens all the time on the Orient Express but that is not an experience we are likely to have. Here we were hurtling through the countryside at a heady 19.75 mph and enjoying tea and scones … brill! The legal limit for this railway is 20 mph so the driver, with a somewhat wry smile, informed us that 19.75 was as fast as they ever go?? Anyway, our afternoon tea was presented very promptly at the start of our trip. Given that the journey to Manuel Junction, taking in stops at Kinneil and Birkhill stations, lasts no longer than twenty minutes all the teas have to be prepared beforehand and brought onto the train ready plated.

There was a good selection of sandwiches, a few cakes and two scones each accompanied with jam and clotted cream (Rodda’s). No topscones but suffice to say that the Sconativity Theory proved to be completely accurate. Even though the scones were traveling at a considerable velocity … so were we! SS was well and truly achieved.

Emperors

Birkhill station at Bo'ness and Kinneil Railway — Birkhill station

Japan has a new Emperor … wow! We think Jeremy Corbyn has ambitions to be an Emperor too. Simple ‘Prime Minister’ is not going to cut it for him. We don’t expect anything other than self-preservation principles from the Conservatives but we do from Labour. However, after a seemingly promising start as a man of principle, Corbyn has disappointingly proved to be anything but. After a year of sitting on the fence he has decided, after a much lauded meeting of the Labour party on Brexit, to continue fence sitting. We can only assume that this spinelessness is powered, not by the needs of the country, but by simple personal ambition. It’s a bit like his stance on Scottish independence. He wants independence for every country in the world … except Scotland … purely out of self interest. He is never going to become Emperor without Scotland’s die hard Labour voters.

Heyho, many thanks for the kindness of those who gifted us our Railway Afternoon Tea Vouchers. It was an absolute delight.

EH51 9AQ tel: 01506 822298 Bo’ness & Kinneil

ps: There was a Falkirk manufactured K6 at Bo’ness station. It had been converted to defibrillator storage.

english, Ordinary, Scones

Centurion Bar

7 March 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Here we are still in Newcastle. Except this time we are at the station waiting for the train to whisk us back home. It is one of Britain’s busiest stations with a half hourly service to London and others going west to Liverpool and north to Edinburgh and Inverness. It was opened by Queen Victoria in 1850 and is now one of very few Grade One listed railway stations. With almost an hour to wait we found ourselves in the Centurion bar of The Royal Station Hotel. It’s not just any old bar. It’s a very spacious and grand hall which used to be the First Class Lounge. It was decked out with flags for the Six Nations Rugby Championships. We decided to sit under the nice blue one on the right.

Nirvana

The name, Centurion’ suggests a Roman connection and, of course, there is. What was it with the Romans? They came all this way to build tourist attractions? In the year 122, Emperor Hadrian built his wall right through Newcastle to end up at, would you believe it, Wallsend in the east of the city. No sooner was it finished than Emperor Antoninus Pius decided, in 142, to build another wall further north. It ran across the entire breadth of Scotland and through the middle of our home town, Falkirk. Trump and the Romans would have got on just fine. Some historians insist that the reason for building these walls was to keep unruly Scots at bay. However we like to think that they just enjoyed life in Falkirk so much they decided there was little point in going further. They had reached nirvana.

Before long, however, the hedonism and feasting on scones served with Rodda’s Cornish Cream drove them back to Hadrian’s Wall where that sort of behaviour seemed more appropriate. Nowadays the remains of Antonine’s Wall can still be seen in Falkirk but apart from the Roman Bar and a few Italian restaurants there are few signs that the Romans were ever around. Both walls, however, still serve very well in their primary function as tourist attractions. The Hadrian’s Wall Path passes close to this station.

More than expected

Enough about Romans, what about the scones? Yes we decided to have a scone but little did we know that every hot drink ordered came with a complimentary croissant. When our scone arrived it was accompanied with butter, jam and a croissant … too much!! Had we realised we might have asked them to keep the croissant and give us a free scone. And had we not had to pay for the scone it might have fared better in our review. It was okay but definitely not a topscone.

Despicable us

In the end even Newcastle was too much for the Romans. At least, when their Empire collapsed they all just went back to Italy and that was that. Not so with the British Empire. Almost every trouble spot around the globe was designed by us. Iraq and Afghanistan to Palestine and Ireland as well as the current problem between India and Pakistan. All the result of British meddling. When it comes to creating a political mess we do it fantastically well and now with Brexit we can bring that expertise to bear at home as well! Whoopee!

Thankfully, this week, the United Nations highest court in the Hague has ruled against us in what must be one of Britain’s most despicable acts. They have ruled that Britain’s 1968 claim to sovereignty over the Chagos Islands is illegal and they must be returned to Mauritius immediately. Surely you have seen this news splashed all over the media? No? Hopefully, after more than fifty years, all these poor displaced people will be able to return to their homes. What this means for the US military base at Diego Garcia (it was the reason for this crime) no one knows.

We do think, however, that Scotland should raise a similar action against the UK at the Hague … for the travesty of 1707!

Pleasant as it was sitting in the Centurion, the train came and we were duly whisked back to nirvana.

NE1 5DG tel: 0191 261 6611 Centurion

Scones, history and a dollop of politics