Hello, hello, the UK here! Is there anybody out there? Has the US gone to war with N. Korea, or Iran, or Mexico? Is there any wall building going on? What about the gilet jaune? We ask because recently we have had no news whatsoever. Wall to wall coverage of journalists asking experts Brexit questions to which they don’t know the answers. The journalists know the experts don’t know the answers but they ask anyway … over and over and over. When they get bored of experts they go and ask the man in the street for answers … aaarggghhh! Such is the state of UK media and politics.

After the most disastrous week ever in the history of British politics, she with no shame, has promised to listen to others. Woopeedoo! Now, rather than take this wondrous opportunity, Corbyn has gone in the huff, refusing to talk. Over the past year he has been half savaged to death by principles jumping up and biting him but he hasn’t recognised any of them. Now he has suddenly discovered one … ‘no talks without a guarantee of No Hard Brexit’! Absolutely brilliant Jeremy. Considering most of your backers voted for exactly the opposite, absolutely brilliant! No wonder the EU is scratching its twenty seven heads.

How to spend money

Let us take you away from all that for just a moment. Today we are on a mission to spend some money.  Eh? More difficult than you might imagine. We decided to take a trip into Edinburgh and go see ‘Colette’ at the cinema. The concessionary rail ticket didn’t cost much. The Cameo Picturehouse didn’t cost anything … we’re members. Afterwards we took a bus into the town centre and it didn’t cost anything either. How do you spend money in Scotland? Okay, you’ve guessed … scones. So far we have not discovered anywhere that does free scones, or even concessionary scones but rest assured, when we do, you will be the first to know.

By the way Colette, starring Keira Knightley was enjoyable enough. Beautifully photographed and well acted but, for us, it just never quite got going.

Strutting

Anyway the bus dropped us off right outside the Waldorf Astoria. It was the bus that did it … honest! On previous visits we have gone to the Pompadour restaurant but at this time of day it had to be Peacock Alley. It is situated in what used to be the forecourt of the old Princes Street Station.  Peacock Alley gets its name from the original Waldorf Astoria which opened in 1897 where the Empire State Building stands today. It had a corridor where the rich and powerful could strut their stuff. When we arrived there were already several other rich and powerful people there. Things got decidedly awkward for a while as we all flaunted our rival plumage. Eventually things simmered down and we were able to take our seats and order some lunch … and a cream tea.

Paul, who was looking after us and had obviously been impressed by our performance, asked us to go easy on him since he had only been in the job a few days. He was still learning. No problem, all our angst was directed towards the vast tea menu. Eventually Pat opted for Blue Lady. A blend of mallow and marigold flowers and flavoured with grapefruit. I’m not allowed grapefruit so it was the Peacock Alley blend for me. Apparently it’s inspired by the history of the railway station. Lapsang souchong, roasted oolong combined with specially selected Scottish whisky. Normally we just laugh at these descriptions but the Peacock Alley blend did taste a bit smokey with just a hint of train driver’s overalls.

The scones come two by two

We had some lunch and were ready for our cream teas. Unexpectedly, the scones in a cream tea come as a warm brace. Help, would we manage both? Initially we thought “no way” however they were so good we eventually polished off the lot. The warm scones together with pineapple and passion fruit jam and clotted cream were absolutely delicious. Topscone. They weren’t exactly cheap but you don’t get surroundings like this and the services of Paul for nothing. At the end of the day we were able to spend some money … mission accomplished!

Back to the reality and the chaos of Brexit! Perhaps the UK should take a leaf out of Trump’s book? Did we actually just say that? Lock up all our MPs without pay until they come to a consensus. In the circumstances we think that, since the experts are completely clueless perhaps the decision should be put back to the man in the street. Not every man in the street, just the one who wants to stay in the EU.

Just think! If Scotland had got its independence in 2014 we could have avoided all this nonsense. We could just have looked on and laughed like the rest of the world. As The Donald would say … sad! The sooner Scotland ditches Westminster the better … FREEDOM!!

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