Tag Archives: River Forth

The Lobster Pot

Although Blackness is not far from home we haven’t visited much in the past ten years. Why? Because the pub closed down and it’s a dead end road so there was nowhere to go when you got here. You could go for a walk, visit the castle but that was about all. It was tragic because Blackness itself is lovely with a nice beach and a nice castle but it needed the pub.

Blackness Castle on a December day
Blackness Castle in December

However, our doughty Trossachs correspondents tipped us off that the pub had reopened and was worth a  visit. And they weren’t wrong.

A brisk day

First though a little bit about the castle that has stood here for over 500 years. Sometimes known as the Ship That Never Sailed because, from the seaward side it looks like a great battleship. When German submarine U-21 ventured up the River Forth in 1914 that’s what they thought they saw when they raised their periscope. They decided to venture no further. Having walked along to the castle on what might be best described as a brisk day, we were in need of sustenance.

Internal view of the Lobster Pot at BlacknessWhen you enter the Lobster Pot the sign above the door “We’re All Doomed” gives a hint of what’s to follow.  The interior is lovely and warm with a very welcome open fire at one end. Help Me First lifebeltIt is a bar/restaurant which also incorporates “The Wee Shop”. You can buy your loaf, your cornflakes, your pint and have a meal all in the same place … brilliant! There is a veritable cornucopia of paraphernalia virtually everywhere you look. On the ceiling directly above our table was this lifebelt. In the unlikely event of us ever going on a cruise, we want two of these please.

Who needs cream?

The Lobster Pot has only been open since August and it must be a welcome return for the village. All the staff were very friendly and soon had us sorted with some lunch and a couple of fruit scones. Initially they said that cream was no problem but later said that it was. Not to worry butter and jam would do just fine … we can rough it!

The scones and tea arrived after a perfect lunch. Unfortunately they did not live up to the standards we had already come to expect of the place. Enjoyable enough but just a tad on the stodgy side. The jam was from England and the butter from Ireland … what can we say? Nevertheless, the Lobster Pot is an excellent pub and we will be visiting Blackness much more often as a result. We hope it goes from strength to strength.

Blackness is Braw poemWhen Robert Burns was visiting the area in 1787 he had been obliged to leave nearby Bo’ness after calling it “That dirty ugly place Barrowstounnes” . He sought refuge here and was duly impressed because he wrote this poem “Blackness Is Braw” (Blackness is Superduper). Perhaps it was the ladies bathing in the mineral rich sediment of Blackness Bay (they still do it) that impressed him most. He always had an eye for the ladies after all!

Vintage photo of fishermen at Blackness This vintage photo of Blackness fishermen in 1919 was hanging on the wall. Amongst them there’s Ewan ‘Muffy’ McLachlan, George ‘Rasher’ Redmond, ‘Raving Ross’ Rintoul, ‘Mad Jack’ Melville and ‘Dark Drew’ Storer. It could easily be mistaken for a modern day picture of Boris’s new Conservative cabinet. We think, however, that we would rather be governed by ‘Mad Jack’ and his crew.

Help, please!

Before we leave the Lobster Pot perhaps you could help us with this? Close to where we were seated was this little boxed diorama. As you will be aware a diorama is a three-dimensional scene used to creatively express learning. However, we were stumped by this. What were we supposed to learn? Diarama at the Lobster Pot in BlacknessIt contains a fisherman pointing at a cooked lobster on top of a creel, five bottles of Guinness, a terrier dog wearing wellington boots and a large snake wound around a naked lady. There is some deep meaning here but we are perplexed. Perhaps some readers may have a greater insight?

No more scones until 2020 so while you are pondering naked ladies, snakes and lobsters may we take this opportunity to wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy and healthy New Year. Many thanks for your indulgence during the past year.

EH49 7NL             tel: 01506 830086            Lobster Pot

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Harvey Nichols Forth Floor

Absolutely fabulous, darling!

It’s not everyday we are in Harvey Nicks. It is more the domain of those who seek a decadent champagne lifestyle, a description that could never be leveled at us?? We do, however, feel a certain obligation  on behalf of our readers, to explore every avenue and if you are looking for a ‘fabulous’ scone this would seem like an obvious avenue to try. And the rain had just come on so we had to find shelter … that’s our story and we’re sticking to it!  Expectations were pretty high. They have had 185 years since the business started on a corner in Knightsbridge, London, to get their scones right.

The Brasserie looking out towards the castle
The Brasserie looking out towards the castle

It’s not easy though. To get to a scone you have to go all the way to the top floor through masses of ridiculously priced goods. Easy for me but a nightmare for Pat. Having said that, there was a ‘50% SALE’ throughout the store which thankfully had the effect of reducing prices to merely ‘extortionate’. Eventually you reach the Forth Floor Restaurant … on the 4th floor with views over the river Forth. You can see what they have done there. Dashed clever those posh folk!

Part of the Terrace with the river Forth and the Kingdom of Fife in the far distance
Part of the Terrace with the river Forth and the Kingdom of Fife in the far distance

There are several eateries on this level including a YO! Sushi where you can eat raw fish off one one of those carousel conveyor belt thingys.  What is really interesting though, is another carousel called the Chocolate Lounge which does exactly the same .. but with cakes … aaarrgghh! How dangerous is that? Just as well there were no seats available.

Melville monument and St Andrews Square with the castle in the background
Melville monument and St Andrews Square with the castle in the background

We headed for the Brasserie where, even although it was raining, we were able to sit on the Terrace. It has great panoramic views over the city. No ‘50% Sale’ on scones. Turns out though that it is one of these places where the scones come in twos. So it’s a kind of 50% deal. HN 04We were informed they came as a brace because they were ‘quite small’ but when they arrived with their accompanying little pots of jam and clotted cream they were actually quite big. At £4 we thought this was pretty good value … especially here! At Harvey Nicks they don’t bother with parts of £s, everything is either £3, £4, £5 and so on … keeps things simple. When it comes to paying the bill, however, they add on an automatic service charge … boo!

Soft and fluffy

Anyway, the scones were actually rather fabulous. Soft fluffy and sweet on the inside and slightly crunchy on the outside, just how we like them. Service was friendly and the excellent coffee came with a round of crisp shortbread. There really wasn’t anything not to like … topscone, darling! HN 09

The EU and Australia

With only a day left until the EU referendum, things are reaching fever pitch. Will we be in or out? We think the Ab Fab pair Edina and Patsy would be ‘outers’ while the sensible daughter, Saffron, would be ‘in’. Whatever happens we will end up like Australia. ‘In’ as in Eurovision or ‘out’, as in reality, and the result will be ‘absolutely fabulous’ for roughly half the population!

EH2 2AD    tel: 0131 524 8350      Harvey Nichols dining