We have been aware of the Almond Tree Café in our home town of Falkirk for many moons but for some reason have never ventured inside. Maybe it’s because it’s tucked away from the main shopping area near what used to be the Glasgow Buildings. A huge tenement which, at one time, housed hundreds of people right in the town centre. When folk complain that the centre of Falkirk is dying they probably forget that not so long ago, lots of people actually lived in or near the High Street. It made the town centre much more vibrant than it is today. Now, no one lives there.

Where the Glasgow Buildings used to be is now a car park. The only good thing that can be said about it is that parking is free after 3pm. Hence we were using it this afternoon. That’s how we ended up at the Almond Tree Café.

Thunderbolts

It is quite a big modern place, with a large seating area upstairs. Ssurprise, surprise, turns out that it is part of the adjacent Struthers Memorial Church. It had never occurred to us that the two were connected in any way. The bookshop full of Christian books and the fact that the almond tree is mentioned quite a lot in the Bible (Aaron’s rod etc) should, perhaps, have made it pretty obvious. Sometimes we can be a bit slow on the uptake. The Struthers MC is a Pentacostal church founded on the memory of the Rev J P Struthers. He was a powerful preacher and children’s author in Greenock until his death in 1915. He was actually struck down at a relatively young age while preaching. Must have said something wrong!

Bizarre systems

Many regard the SMC as a cult where they think of themselves as anointed and speak in tongues. Not exactly our cup of tea but, lo and behold,  they did have scones … cherry and coconut scones to be precise. Weird scones to go with their weird servery. You pay for what you want then you have to walk round the a corner to collect a cup then bring it back and fill it up from a machine … bizarre. They definitely need some divine guidance here or even plain common sense would do. At the end of the day the scones were actually very good though the coffee wasn’t great nor were the people behind the counter. Probably volunteers so perhaps we shouldn’t criticise too much.

The SMC only has about 300 members over seven or eight bases in the UK so goodness knows how they make it pay. The Almond Tree itself is only open about five hours a day Tuesday to Saturday which wouldn’t make it a successful business and the shutters were down as we were leaving at 3.30pm??

Anyway, speaking in tongues, or glossolalia as it is properly known, is defined as: the fluid vocalising of speech-like syllables that lack any readily comprehended meaning. The Secretary of State for Scotland, David ‘Fluffy’ Mundell, has raised glossolalia to dizzying new heights at Westminster this week. It’s ironic that Westminster is defending what it is doing in the name of democracy. Have they forgotten that devolution was forced on an extremely unwilling UK by the EU. Why? Because the UK was deemed the most undemocratic state in Europe and the EU felt that devolution would give parts of the UK some sort of say in how they were governed.

Wringing hands

Now, Fluffy, a complete waste of oxygen where representing Scotland’s interests is concerned, has decreed that decisions taken in the Scottish Parliament are of no value whatsoever if Westminster just happens to disagree with them. What sort of devolution is that? He has also said that Scotland is no longer a partner in the UK, we are part of the UK. When did that happen? The UK is registered with the UN as: 2 countries (England and Scotland), 1 principality (Wales) and 1 province (N. Ireland). It probably doesn’t matter any more … the Union is bust. Meanwhile the Labour party has mastered the difficult art of simultaneously wringing their hands whilst sitting on them.  Little wonder the SNP has seen its membership sore in the past few days.

FK1 1PW       tel: 01324 626000        The Almond Tree