Tag Archives: RBS

Lamlash House

7 June 2024 billpaterson1@me.com 13 Comments

We’ve been trying to book an afternoon tea here in Lamlash House since what seems like forever. It’s always fully booked because they only do them once in a while. For example, the next one isn’t until 7th September. Anyway, we managed to get booked so here we are in the lace manufacturing town of Newmilns in deepest Ayrshire.

Although lace manufacturing has largely died out in the town MYB Textiles still carries on the tradition. Now, they are the world’s only producer still making patterned lace on their 100 year old looms.

Banking To Banqueting

The Tannahill window at Lamlash House — One of several windows dedicated to Scotlands writers and poets. This one is to Robert Tannahill.

Lamlash House was built in 1889 for the Royal Bank of Scotland. It’s opulent Victorian interiors were obviously designed to impress but they are only evident today due to the monumental renovation undertaken by its current owners, Gordon and Jonathan. To begin with they only had the upstairs but in 2014 when the bank decided to quit they acquired the downstairs as well. Years of intense restoration followed before they were able to open the doors again in 2019. And what a job they have done! The attention to detail is astonishing. It is like stepping back in time but with an air of playfulness replacing the rather stern solidity of the bank. Their years of toil have really paid off.

Today they were celebrating a five year anniversary so everyone was presented with complimentary fizz on arrival. Our tea was served in what used to be the main banking hall; now styled around Charles Rennie Macintosh. From the Leaf Tea and Infusion Menu we chose the Lamlash House Signature Blend which was billed as the perfect accompaniment to scones … just what we needed!

The afternoon tea was a cornucopia of goodies from delicious sandwiches to citrusy posset with a raspberry on top. And fabulous scones, of course. All this combined with perfect service in beautiful surroundings made it a wonderful experience. Although not quite Pat’s birthday she was suitably serenaded and presented with a cake complete with candle. This was an experience which could easily rival Fonab Castle and Schloss Roxburgh as our sconey benchmarks.

Small but perfect

Afterwards we went out to the garden to finish off our bubbles in the sunshine. And after that we went to what they think may be the smallest bar in Scotland – the Strongroom Bar. Obviously it used to be the walk-in safe for the bank and it features one which used to sit in the main banking hall where we had our afternoon tea. It’s great fun and, as expected, beautifully reimagined as a bar. However, it can only accommodate a couple of people so our cocktails were served next door in the Library. It’s not a lot bigger but is beautifully appointed and does have a couple of very comfortable easy chairs.

The Library at Lamlash House — Pat had a French Martini and mine was a Cosmo-Not. Served, of course, on £50 notes (napkins)

Lamlash house has a real family feel about it. No one seems to be in a rush. It was Jonathan’s mother that answered the door and it was her and her friends who were working in the kitchen. Long after afternoon tea was finished they still took delight in showing us around the premises and explaining the significance of some of the features and the difficulties experienced during renovations. Of course, they can only do this because they carefully manage the number of small weddings and other events they hold to keep stress levels to an absolute minimum … perfect!

Pat with Gordon and Jonathan — Gordon, Pat and Jonathan beside a vintage bicycle in the garden

Lock in

We have seldom enjoyed a visit as much as we did this one. It was an absolute pleasure. It seems a shame to sully it with political comment so we won’t.

Stained glass at Lamlash House — Flora, Roman Goddess of Flowers and the Season of Spring at the front door

Except to say that we missed the TV Leaders Debate between Sunak and Starmer which we referred to in our previous post from Stockbridge House. Of course, the media have been talking about nothing else so we almost feel as if we did actually see it. There was no mention of anything of importance like the National Debt, Brexit or Scotland. Instead they just lied to each other and to us. With leadership like this we wish we could just lock ourselves in Lamlash House until it is all over … or even longer!

KA16 9AD tel: 07912 874 600 Lamlash House

///racked.smashes.etchings

Scones, Uncategorized

Henry’s

16 October 2016 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Life

The life of a sconey is not as easy as some of you may think! No, no, no, it’s a constant round of traveling, photographing, testing, judging, writing. Then there is the worry! Did we judge too harshly? Did we just get them on a bad day? Should we make allowances? All these and more can make a sconey’s life quite stressful. Okay, not that stressful. Not stressful at all really. If truth be known, it is an absolute pleasure … even the bad ones! In spite of receiving many and varied suggestions for scone visits we almost never go anywhere simply for a scone. We go places for all sorts of other reasons … the scones are just there! But then, sometimes strange things happen. A scone can come completely out of the blue. So it was with this post from Henry’s … a slight meander from our normal path.

Picture of artwork portraying coffee cups from Costa, Nero and Starbucks — A BIT RICH – at Henry’s HQ. Can you name all 3 companies? Answers on a postcard

Global HQ

Recently, we were in the local Milk Barn café when we stumbled on some old friends we hadn’t seen in ages. After much catching up it transpired that their lives, like ours, had changed markedly in the intervening years. Most significantly, perhaps, after many years steeped in the coffee industry, they had decided to set up their own company. They now supply coffee and tea to restaurants all over Scotland. A bold move in a highly competitive marketplace. That was two years ago and the birth of the company coincided with the birth of their first grandchild so the company was duly named after him … Henry’s. And what exactly has all this got to do with scones we hear you ask? Well, they invited us to take a look at the company’s global HQ (garage in the back garden). And, being aware of our weakness, used the lure of scones to ensure our attendance.

Mimi’s Bakehouse

We had visions of them being up at the crack of dawn nervously whipping up a scone mixture for the visit … but no, not a bit of it. They bought them! To be fair, they did buy them from Mimi’s award winning bakehouse in Leith so they were very good. They were, what we would call, on the hearty side. Almost a meal in themselves but nice and light and complete with jam. The cream had accidentally been omitted from the package, but no matter, we thoroughly enjoyed them anyway. We had not heard of Mimi’s but it transpires that it is just down the road from the Scotch Malt Whisky Society. A visit may be imminent! Unfortunately, until then, these scones will have to remain uncategorised. Henry’s Coffee Company appears to be going from strength to strength, no pun intended, and in a few short years has become the main supplier to dozens of establishments across the country. Their unique ‘Cat’s Pyjamas’ and ‘Blow Your Socks Off’ coffee blends have been every well received, along with their two hundred tea varieties. It’s a success story.

Scotland’s entrepreneurs

Sad therefore to read that RBS (the bank which you and I own) has been behaving despicably to businesses such as this through it’s, now defunct, Global Restructuring Group. It has been intentionally driving many small businesses into bankruptcy for it’s own profit. Scotland needs lots of small businesses like Henry’s to flourish but to do so they need banks to be on their side. They also need BT Openreach to roll out decent broadband much faster than they are doing at the moment, instead of just trousering the money. With worthwhile broadband, businesses like Henry’s should be able to establish themselves all over the country … even in the Highlands and Islands. Many thanks to B and M and of course the man himself, Henry, who we had the great pleasure of meeting. Your hospitality was wonderful, as was your spectacular company HQ. More power to your entrepreneurial elbow!

tel: 07471 895015 Henry’s Coffee Company

Ordinary, Scones

Shieldbank Coffee Shop

21 July 2016 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Destination unknown

You know how it is … sometimes you set out with a certain destination in mind and then end up somewhere completely different. No … maybe it’s just us then. We do it quite a lot? A wrong turn meant we found ourselves in the pretty, former weaving village of Saline, in the Kingdom of Fife. Been here many times before, so we weren’t lost … just not where we thought we would be. Complete change of plan. Seeing a sign for the Shieldbank Coffee Shop, ‘third left then follow road for one mile’, we thought we would cut our losses and head for there.

The road goes from Saline to Blairingone and, were it not for that sign, we would never ever have been on it. As it turns out, however, it was the first ‘walking and cycling friendly’ road we have ever come across. A speed limit of 40mph along this lovely country road is all it takes. Can’t really see the police mounting speed traps but everyone seemed to be abiding by the rules anyway. Great idea. The good folks at Shieldbank don’t exactly go big on publicity and it certainly doesn’t jump out at you, tucked away among the trees. The weather has been hot and this morning saw some very severe thunderstorms and torrential rain. When we arrived they were still mopping out the café after their worst flash flood in over twenty years. The last thing they wanted was us arriving. They told us so! In spite of everything however we could not have been made more welcome.

Mopping scones

Shieldbank is actually a riding club where they specialise in horseback gymnastics. People like us have difficulty just sitting on a stationary horse. We view the whole concept as just plain ridiculous. However, for those who relish somersaults and handstands on the back of a galloping horse .. this is definitely the place for you. For the less adventurous (us) there is the coffee shop. Vic Beasley is the man in charge and responsible for handcrafting everything. He made the café itself three years ago and all of today’s jam, cakes and scones. There wasn’t a great selection on offer. Vic had been preoccupied with mopping duties, on his fourth change of clothing so we thought we should maybe cut him some slack. Nothing was too much trouble however, he provided a scone while we waited for him to prepare us a brand new carrot cake.

Vic is one of these guys who proclaims to hate people and would dearly love to be left alone on a mountain top. However, we don’t think he would last five minutes without a good blether. Everything he gave us was excellent, including the scones. Not quite topscones but pretty close.

A nice touch in the cafe is the ability to look through a window directly into a stable. Great for kids. Interesting place, particularly if you are the horsey type. Although hard to find, it was definitely worth it.

Vanishing warships

Talking of things ‘hard to find’ … after the botched military coup in Turkey, fourteen warships, including a frigate, have been reported ‘missing’! What is it with disappearing warships? Before the Scottish independence referendum in 2014, fourteen warships were promised to be built on the Clyde if we voted ‘no’. They have disappeared as well. No doubt they will reappear just before Indyref2. Then disappear again along with all the other promises.

Because they are trying to fill the bottomless Trident pit and keep the US in the manner to which it has become accustomed, perhaps the government cannot afford anything other than weapons of mass destruction? Apparently, HSBC, Barclays and RBS (the bank that we own) all help fund both the British and Russian nuclear deterrents. What’s that all about? With only one Scottish MP voting to renew Trident … Scotland really really really wishes it is one thing that would disappear.Anyway, we wish Vic and his venture every good fortune and now that we have found it we might even go back. Hopefully when it is not flooded.
KY12 9LN tel: 01383 852621 Shieldbank Coffee Shop

Scones, topweird

The Oystercatcher Restaurant

10 April 2016 billpaterson1@me.com 2 Comments

This fine-dining restaurant, is situated about as far out of the way as you can get .. in Portmahomack. It’s on the tip of Tarbat peninsula in Easter Ross. Question is … is it the best restaurant in the world? Probably not, but it does make you ask the question so it’s pretty special. It is certainly unique.

We were fortunate to be here for the first night of the season and we had been looking forward to it with much anticipation. There is no doubt that this is fine dining .. fabulous menu specialising in seafood and almost a thousand different wines along with hundreds of whiskies and liqueurs to choose from .. and correspondingly expensive. It may only be three courses but, they provide extra palate ticklers between each dish. One was cullen skink, another was haggis neeps and tatties, another was peach sorbet topped with crowdie. All taster sized portions but fabulous. But places like this don’t do scones .. do they? No they don’t. Our excuse for writing this is pretty thin, embarrassingly thin.

Yes, I had the ‘seared scallop of scone’ .. because I like scallops and I like scones. So the dish was king scallops, black pudding; bacon & coral scone; airbag; garlic-sauteed samphire; partan sauce. I didn’t even get a picture of the scone because it was buried underneath everything else. Suffice to say it was delicious. Don’t ask what the airbag was, we have no idea but it wasn’t a safety device. Obviously this could not be classed as a topscone. We do have a weird scone category however so we placed it there .. top weird scone!

Fantastic

I can show you a picture of my pudding though. That’s good Talisker you can see burning away there. Susan, the owner/waitress, looked after us superbly well but don’t expect any of the us

Café Surprise o' the Cuillins — Café Surprise o’ the Cuillins

ual deference you normally get in fine-dining restaurants. No standing on ceremony here, just great friendly service. All in all it was a fantastic experience, hats off to Susan for making The Oystercatcher work in rural Easter Ross. Nothing short of amazing!

Who owns Scotland?

Was it a better than Bruce’s Café at the Carnegie Hall, just round the corner? That would be like comparing apples and pears. Completely different but both wonderful. While Susan and Bruce work their socks off we don’t suppose either of their businesses will feature in the Panama Papers. It is disturbing to learn that ownership of great swathes of Scotland are simply registered to PO boxes in Panama. Also, if you have ever wondered why people in oil rich countries like Nigeria are still poor it is because the country’s wealth is squirrelled away in Panama. Most of it administered through the UK by RBS and HBSC. What is being displayed in the Panama Papers is that the system is global .. and rotten. Maybe we already knew that? Nothing rotten at the Oystercatcher .. expensive but worth it.

IV20 1YB tel: 01862 871560 The Oystercatcher

Ordinary

Mannerstons Café

11 June 2015 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Mannerstons Café had only been open about two months when we popped in on our way to Hopetoun House. Perhaps because of that it looked a bit new and uninspiring from the outside .. but inside it was buzzing. It has a shop with all the usual ‘country store’ stuff, eggs, jam, vegetables, wine and beer. They also do their own ice cream. Already it has a achieved a 4.5 overall score from TripAdvisor.

Cream tea

The café area is large and it has an outside sitting area for when the weather is suitable. We ordered a cream tea for two but we could have had any amount of other things. If they have a selection of different teas we certainly were not offered any. However, as it happens the tea we got was good.

The scones were homebaked and very good. Sort of crunchy on the outside and soft and light in the middle and with lots of jam and cream to go with them. There may be one or two minor teething problems (no website to speak of) but if Mannerstons continues in this vain it will be very popular.

Family silver

Not so popular is this ideologically driven government that only 37% voted for imposing massive cuts on the poor and selling off the family silver (Royal Mail, RBS) to their buddies in the City .. because they can! Who actually voted for this?

EH49 7LY tel: 01506 834949 Mannerstons

Scones, history and a dollop of politics