Tag Archives: preloaded scones

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Topiary Coffee Shop

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We were on a mission and the mission was … compost! For reasons too complex to enter in to here, we needed compost … a lot of compost! Our supplier was to be here at the Klondyke Garden Centre on the outskirts of Falkirk. They are dealers and the deal was three bags for £12. We ended up getting fifteen 50litre bags … that’s a lot of compost. Don’t worry it’s not as bad as cocaine and it’s not even a regular habit … we are binge composters. Probably won’t touch it again for a year or so.

Principles

Having got our compost fix safely loaded into the car and feeling a bit giddy just at the thought of it all, we thought we should try a scone at the Topiary Coffee Shop. Perhaps it was the mind altering effects of all that compost but here’s another confession.Internal view of the Topiary Coffee Shop at Klondyke Garden Centre, Falkirk

You all know our thoughts on preloaded scones. They are the devil’s work and to be avoided at all costs. A scone at the Topiary Coffee Shop at Klondyke Garden Centre, FalkirkWell maybe not “at all costs”. Sadly, today at the Topiary Coffee Shop, we stood there and worked it out. To buy a fruit scone and then add butter and jam, all priced separately, was going to be more expensive than a preloaded one. Unbelievably we went for preloaded … arrgghh, what happened to principles? They were, of course, overcome by Scottishness! But we should have known that too much compost was bound to have an effect! Serves us right, the scone was awful … hard and tasteless. when we informed the staff that their scones were not great they informed us they had been baked in the morning. They did not say which morning however. The coffee was good though.

The art of shaping

Topiary, of course, is the art of shaping something natural into an unnatural form e.g. hedges into swans … that sort of thing. Topiary came to mind as we watched the two Tory leadership contenders bumble their way through their hustings in Scotland. Both looked as if they would rather be anywhere else than north of the border. Neither looked like  they could be shaped into anything useful. Boris Johnston’s assertion that Scotland’s block grant, was a gift from England, didn’t help. Jeremy Hunt’s wild eyed assertion that the problem with the Scottish Parliament was that it was full of nationalist MPs, didn’t help either.

A lot more creative topiary will be required if these characters are ever to be formed into something remotely acceptable to the vast majority of Scots, however, one of them is destined to rule over us for the foreseeable future. The cream of topiarists are trying to form Corbyn into something recogniseable … anything would do! He seems to determined, however, to remain a hedge. More compost please!Internal view of the Topiary Coffee Shop at Klondyke Garden Centre, Falkirk

FK2 0XS       tel: 01324 717035        Topiary

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Scones, self-service, weird

Blossoms Bistro – revisited

It was just over three years ago that we first reviewed the scones at this garden centre tearoom. It being just before the 2015 general election, we spent some time trying to explain our electoral system in scones. The House of Lords consisted of over 900 old and stale scones and, because even the pigeons would not take them, it was impossible to get rid of them … but never mind all that!

This time we are trying to demonstrate to some of our readers who have raised an eyebrow at some of our recent sojourns into sconology. Places like the Connaught and Knockinaam Lodge. Because they are kind of posh and consistently get topscone awards there is a suspicion that we are leaning towards the more expensive scone. Not true, we take our responsibilities earnestly when it comes to something as profoundly serious as scones. A voucher for Blossoms tearoom and bistro at Torwood Garden CentreOn this visit we have a voucher for Blossoms which promised two cream teas for £5. What’s not to like? We did need some plants for the garden as well, it’s that time of year. Internal view of Blossoms tearoom and bistro at Torwood Garden Centre

Alarm bells

When we arrived they were out of fruit scones, only plain and hot cross scones left … hot cross scones? We thought the world had gone mad when Trump was elected but hot cross scones?? It had to be done! We were asked  “synthetic or fresh cream?” Is that actually a question? They brought our tea to the table and said they were preparing our scones. Oh,oh, alarm bells! A hot cross scone at Blossoms tearoom and bistro at Torwood Garden Centre

When they arrived it was easy to see what they meant … they came preloaded, You could say that they were generously loaded so why are we complaining. Well we are complaining because you know by now that when it comes to scones we are DIYers. They tasted spicey like hot cross buns but were definitely on the solid side. The cross on the top was so hard it was inedible. If it was Easter we could maybe understand, but it’s not. So why?

Too good to be true?

A little snippet for your delectation – hot cross buns were simply known as cross buns until a nursery rhyme was written in the 18th century … hot cross buns, hot cross buns! Anyway, you know that saying  “if it seems too good to be true then it probably is” well that pretty well sums up two cream teas for £5. It also sums up politicians who say that Brexit negotiations are going splendidly.

FK5 4EG        tel: 01324 553152           Blossoms Bistro