You all know by now that scones come in a variety of guises. Some are so light you almost have to peg them down, others could be used as door stops. But scones are also incredibly versatile, e.g. we have just recently realised that they can even be used as a measure of cultural diversity. You would, of course, have to use a, yet to be invented, sconometer. With a scale of 1-10, it would scan the surrounding area and determine how many scone bearing establishments there were within it. Places like the melting pot that is the Portobello Road here in London might struggle to generate a 1 due to the lack of scones in its abundant cafés and restaurants. You can get all sorts of other strange and unrecognisable things … but not scones.

Sconometers

We walked the entire length of the Market in subzero temperatures only to find that most of these places had barely heard of scones let alone serve them. We just got lots of quizzical looks, as if we were slightly mad? Okay, we know that a lot of you think that we are completely mad but bear with us. You see, some areas, such as our own home turf in Scotland, would probably generate a high reading, say 8 or 9, due to almost every café and eating-house offering scones as part of their everyday fare. According to the sconometer that area would be deemed to be not very culturally diverse. And compared to the Portobello Road, that would be completely accurate! See, not mad at all!

These days the sconometer would have to take the form of an app. It would, not only provide a scone distribution readout wherever you are, but also lead you to the nearest or best scone. Invaluable in places like this. Sooo, given our somewhat dire circumstances, who do you think ended up coming to our rescue? None other than a bunch of Canadians in the form of the Second Cup Coffee Company … ehh?

Swithering

We have never come across Second Cup before. However, it has been around since 1975 and is run from Mississauga in the Toronto area. It now has franchises covering 29 countries. When we did an initial visual sweep of the counter however we thought we had come across yet another scone desert. However, when we asked, the assistant pointed to two solitary scones amongst all the other cakes and pastries … hallelujah!  It has to be said though that these lonesome items did not look particularly appetising. Quite the opposite … but it had to be done! Would this count as our first Canadian scone??

Whatever they did to them between leaving their cabinet and landing in front of us, it looked like it would be our first grilled scone as well? Life on the edge, as always! When we looked over at the sad wee empty space these scones had vacated we felt that perhaps we should just have left them there. For their sake, and ours! When we started to eat them however we were very pleasantly surprised. They were very good and in spite of the ubiquitous tub of cornish cream we found ourselves swithering about topscone … really?

Glitzy neighbours

It was an odd kind of place. Friendly enough without anyone actually being particularly friendly. Most staff were too busy on their mobile phones! Perhaps they were using the scone app to find out if anyone in the area was setting up in competition? Plus, you would think with a name like Second Cup they would offer a ‘second cup’ but no, they didn’t.  At the end of the day we decided that, although the scone itself was good, it was let down by everything else … no topscone.

The scones here reminded us of Scotland’s position in relation to the rest of the UK. Just a little scone surrounded by much bigger sticky pastries and flamboyant cakes. Powerless to make itself seen, never mind heard.  With the recent Law Lords ruling, the Scottish Parliament has been exposed as nothing other than the talking shop the UK government always intended it to be. Powerless to carry out Scotland’s wishes! It’s time for change!

As we were leaving Second Cup we glanced over  to the cabinet to see that … lo and behold, two new scones had replaced our ones. It may have been our imaginations, but they seemed to be standing rather proudly among their more glitzy neighbours. Could it be a sign?

There are lots of pretty esoteric apps out there so, who knows, the sconometer app might yet become a reality. In the meantime, however, thankyou Canada for rescuing us!

W11 1LJ    tel: 020 7460 0633   Second Cup Coffee Company