Tag Archives: politics

english, Ordinary

Maison Blanc

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This post sees us back in the nether regions of the UK visiting family. London, or Barnes to be more precise. It’s a very pleasant area with lots of parks and a great network of paths that mean you don’t have to walk near busy roads very often. You do, however, need to be mindful of over-enthusiastic joggers and cyclists. Sometimes seems like nobody just walks.

We walk though. On this occasion our walk took us across the Thames at Barnes Bridge to Chiswick and one of our favourite antique shops, the Old Cinema. One of Chiswick’s rather dubious claims to fame is that it was the first place in Britain to be hit by a German V-I (doodlebug) rocket bomb. The Old Cinema hasn’t been a cinema since the 30s but obviously survived the doodlebugs because the building has now been utilised  as a centre for somewhat quirky up-cycled antiques.

Price tags

Browsing was definitely the order of the day however since most of the price tags would have to be considerably downsized to match our rather tight Scottish pockets. Strangely, after a pleasant hour or so rummaging, we became subject to a mysterious and irresistible force that pulled us out and around the corner onto Turnham Green Terrace and this place, Maison Blanc. A little bit of France. Maison Blanc 04

A self-styled  ‘artisan bakery renowned for its speciality breads, freshly baked pastries, world famous cakes and pâtisserie – all handmade to perfection’. It also boasts of it’s ‘viennoiserie’. That’s ‘croissants’ to you and me. Maison Blanc 02Apparently they also have a joie-de vie attitude and believe that life should be enjoyed one delicate macaroon at a time. 

But we British know the French rather well, don’t we? Compulsive seducers, lazy, speak only French, drive like Italians. So, with all their haut cuisine and everything, the big question was, would they be up to making a decent scone? Almost, the scones had scrubbed up quite well. Nicely shaped with a glossy bronzed finish and nicely presented with a tub of Cornish clotted cream. And a pot of jam of a somewhat indeterminate nature. Maison Blanc 05The more attentive amongst you may have noticed that we have not given a topscone award for some considerable time so we were hoping that this might be our chance, because we do like to give them out. It wasn’t to be. The rather odd jam, the prepackaged cream, the scone itself, although enjoyable enough the combination was just not right, pity.

Blues

On a slightly different tack! We almost never comment on the omni-present piped music because it is almost always awful, but this was an exception. No Piaf, just the right volume, and a mixture of Howling’ Wolf, John Lee Hooker and Billie Holiday .. perfecto!

At the end of Turnham Green Terrace there is a statue of William Hogarth the famous painter who lived locally until his death in 1764. Although a renowned portraitist he is probably best know for his satirical works. What would he make of things if he was alive today? Trickle up economics, uppity Arabs, uppity Americans, uppity Scots; looming EU collapse, looming financial meltdown.

The untouchables

Goodness knows why people are surprised by talk of a meltdown when nothing has changed since the 2008 crash. Untouchable bankers still gambling with our money. Hogarth would have been in his element! In his heyday he always had something to say about the French. Probably not about their scone making abilities … or the lack of them. Are we the first? Doivent faire plus d’efforts!

W4 1QP           tel: 020 8995 7220             Maison Blanc Chiswick

Ordinary

English Dialects

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Screen Shot 2016-01-20 at 15.48.40Some readers have probably been wondering what happened to the rest of the scones we got as presents over the festive period. Well here they are, two of Dobbies finest cinnamon delights. They did not mind being frozen at all and were absolutely delicious. Although they were so big we had to get a couple of neighbours in to help out.

One million hits

 IMG_9578A new app, English Dialects, developed at universities in Cambridge, Zurich and Bern, asks users how they pronounce words including “scone”. Choices are given for another 25 words, or word meanings, after which the app guesses where the user might be from. When the team launched a similar app for German speakers there were more than one million hits in four days.

Typical!

The aim of the free app is to track how dialects have evolved over a number of decades. So the big question when you tuck into your next scone – does it rhyme with “gone” or “cone”? We did all of the questions and it determined that we were from the midlands near the Welsh border. But then English Dialects only works in England .. typical!. If you want to find out what part of England you are from you can download the app here http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-35262229. Now you can’t say we don’t keep you informed of goings on in scone world! Many thanks to our southern correspondent for the info.

Ordinary, Scones

Johnston’s Bar Bistro

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The menu at Johnston's Bar BistroWhen I was a mere sapling. Long before I met Pat and long before I realised that not all the scones in the world were baked by my mother, this place was a favourite hangout for us cool dudes. At that time, however, it was called the Temperance Cafe.

In about 1920, as was prevalent at the time, the proceeds of a will had been used to buy the Crown Hotel in the Lint Riggs. The intention was to turn it into a temperance public house as an alternative to the plethora of licensed premises all through the town. A couple of years later it famously became the scene for the first ever television broadcast by John Logie Baird.

Politics and girls

Baird was born in Helensburgh but his family were local  farmers at Sunnybrae in Camelon. Little did he know that that single brief event would change the world forever. The equipment Baird used to broadcast a live image of a colleague from one part of the building to another, became known as ‘the Falkirk televisor‘. As an impressionable youth, however, my personal abiding memory of the Temperance was when four of us were sitting round an upstairs table, talking about girls, politics and the price of milk. Maybe not the last two. Internal view of Johnston's Bar Bistro

Memories

We watched a man walk to the top of the stairs. He stopped, then to our astonishment, fell, like a felled tree, face first down the steps. Shocked, we jumped over the banister (these were the days) and caught him just as he reached the bottom. The management ask us to carry him to the kitchen until help arrived. However we could not get him through the door because his arm was sticking out rigidly to the side. It turned out that he had had an epileptic fit, something none of us had heard of at the time, so it made quite an impression. Especially the intense deliberations over what to do about the arm that refused to bend. We had to turn him on his side so that it pointed straight up. No mean feat for four puny wastrels.

Anyway, the whole temperance thing never really took off. After several other incarnations, it has been Johnston’s Bar & Bistro since 2012. One of the town’s favourite meeting places. A scone at Johnston's Bar BistroWe decided to share a fruit scone because they were quite large. When it arrived it was accompanied by the biggest pot of cream we have ever come across. Probably enough to do twenty scones. Needless to say, almost all of it was left, but the scone itself was very good. Their strap line is ‘Food, Drink & Service as it should be‘. A strap line delivered, because we thoroughly enjoyed our visit.

Taking things for granted

When you think about it it’s really quite amazing. We sit watching pictures beamed directly into our living rooms. Strictly Come Dancing. Johanna Lumley crossing Siberia. Cameron trying to look as if he is negotiating something massive with the EU. Osborne pretending to have some sort of control. Children being starved to death in Madaya. We take the means by which these pictures reach us completely for granted but it all started here. Sending pictures between two rooms in this building.

FK1 1DG         tel: 01324 637299          Johnston’s Bar Bistro

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Cameo Picturehouse

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We are members here and try to visit whenever we can. It is smaller and more intimate than the local multi-screen cineplexes and tends to show more interesting and foreign language films. The weather was typically January so it seemed like an ideal day to squirrel ourselves away somewhere dark and cosy with a good film. Internal view of the Cameo Picturehouse Edinburgh

Arriving with enough time to spare for some tea we decided to give their scones a go as well. Although having looked at them on the counter we were slightly fearful. They did not look at all promising. Well appearances can be deceiving, as they say, because, although not topscones, they were pretty good. The fruit and cinnamon ones were maybe a bit too crusty on the outside but nice and soft on the inside. There was also plenty butter and a nice little cup of jam.

If only our film had been as good! A scone at the Cameo Picturehouse EdinburghThere were three to choose from and we chose ‘The Lobster’. A near-future story about single people staying in a hotel and having 45 days to find a romantic partner. If they failed they were turned into an animal of their choice. The main character had his brother with him all the time .. a collie dog. He had failed on a previous occasion. In the event of similar failure our man had chosen to be a lobster. Apparently a lobster can live to over a hundred and remain sexually active throughout. Never realised that lobsters had so much fun.

Spoiler

We would have enjoyed the start of the film a lot more if we had known that it steadily went down hill from there. It was co-produced by companies from Ireland, Greece, France the Netherlands and the UK. It kind of looked like a film made by a committee. Won’t say more though in case we spoil it for you. Internal view of the Cameo Picturehouse Edinburgh

Sitting in the cinema we thought it was a pretty dystopian surreal experience until we came out into the daylight and realised we had women being brutalised in Cologne, another shooting in Paris, people starved to death on purpose in Madaya, Saudis bombing the Iranian embassy in Sana’a, Pyongyang‘s H-bomb test, China‘s stock market collapse. And that the answer to all these problems might be Donald Trump! Maybe we should have stayed inside where it was all much more believable. Thank goodness for the scone … even though it only had a cameo role .. sorry!

EH3 9LZ           tel: 0871 902 5723         Cameo 

Ordinary, Scones

Howies Bistro

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Our first venture out into the big bad world of 2016 was to the Fair City where we like to shop occasionally in McEwens of Perth department store.

a poster in McEwens
a poster in McEwens

It is a long established shop and this poster made us think that it might be interesting (just to get the brain cells operating after all the indulgences of the festive season) to see how many of you can convert these prices into modern day currency, e.g how much is a pure silk tie? Answers please in the comments box but beware, you may be giving your age away! Today we had breakfast in their Upstairs restaurant and discovered that they actually have another restaurant that we were totally unaware of. It’s that kind of shop, you discover another part of it every time you go. We did visit this new discovery later on in the afternoon but since the same bakery serves both restaurants and we had already reviewed Upstairs, we decided, in the interests of variety and sconology to brave the elements and find somewhere new. Howies 05

Voila .. Howies Bistro, a mere stone’s throw from McEwens, just outside St John’s Kirk. This is a nice wee cozy restaurant which seems to do everything and be very popular with the locals. Most folk were having lunch but, as ever, we just wanted to try the scones with a coffee. We ensconced ourselves in a nice area with big comfy sofas, set aside for just that.

Good management

Our fruit scones were great, served with plenty jam and cream, but there was a problem with the coffee .. it looked strong but tasted weak. It was such that we thought we should at least mention it to the management. Probably Mr Howie himself who was buzzing about making sure everything was in order. Howies 07He responded initially by offering another coffee, which of course we did not want. Later, however, he came and thanked us. He had tested the coffee and realised that the machine needed to be recalibrated and was mortified to find that he had, unknowingly, been  serving such inferior coffee. In fact, he was so grateful that he refused to take any money at all from us. This is good management; taking on feedback and acting on it immediately! stjohnskirk-450

The nearby St John’s Kirk is dedicated to John the Baptist and dates back to 1126. Perth was the capital of Scotland for over 600 years and as a result King Alexander III’s heart was buried here after his premature death (fell off a cliff) in 1286. An event which left Scotland without a king and propelled it into two long Wars of Independence with England. Although Scotland prevailed in both wars it threw it all away in 1707 with the Union of the Crowns. Most Scots of sound mind were against it at the time and goodness sake, 308 years later nothing has changed!

Lost deposit

For those with a footballing interest and who have wondered why Perth’s local football team (currently 4th in the Scottish Premiership) is called St Johnstone. It’s because of this church. It became so important that for much of the 16th century Perth was called ‘St Johnstoun’ .. might be a good trivia question. Another trivia question. When was the last date that an Irn Bru bottle could be returned for a deposit .. Dec 31st 2015. End of an era. What is not in question is Howies Bistro. Definitely worth a visit, if only to retest the coffee.

PH1 5SZ       tel: 01738 440777      Howies Bistro

Useful link: things to do in Perth

self-service, Uncategorized

Dobbies unvisited

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Hope you all had a great time over the holidays and are looking forward to another year of sconology. In fact we thought that the symptoms of scone withdrawal might be reaching fever pitch so have opted for a slightly unusual but quick fix for you. Not based on a visit to some cafe deep in the nether regions of the Scottish countryside but rather on some scones we received as a gift over the festive season. Such are the fringe benefits of being sconeys. Boyle 03

Morello cherry and Port jam

Our benefactors had purchased them at Dobbies Garden Centre in Stirling complete with a range of jams. Don’t worry, we realise that for a full and proper report we actually have to go there. And since we take our responsibilities seriously, we promise to do that before 2016 is out. In the meantime, hopefully this will suffice. I elected to try the cherry scone (family size) and Pat dutifully warmed it in the oven and whipped up some cream to go with it.

With cherry scones however there is that ever-present problem ..  a suitable jam. Strawberry just does not seem right, but, as luck would have it, we had also been gifted a pot of Morello Cherry and Port jam, the perfect accompaniment. In spite of these scones having been in the freezer for several days everything was absolutely delicious. A topscone award however will be reserved until we have actually visited Dobbies.

Awards

Ah yes, awards. We know that many of you will have been shocked, after scouring the New Year Honours lists for our names only to find them absent! This came as a bit of a shock to us as well. The last time we spoke to the Queen (not that long ago) we convinced ourselves that there was a slight nod which seemed to indicated that she was going to see uBoyle 04s alright. If you know what we mean, wink, wink, nudge, nudge! Obviously we mistook the body language. For all we know, even though we did our best to put her at her ease, it might have been a slightly clumsy attempt at a curtsy.

Anyway, as it turns out, it saved us the anguish of deciding whether or not to accept. Given that we would find an OBE or anything else with ’empire’ in it a tad difficult to take. An OGE; Order of the Glasgow Empire is more our style. We did notice that the list consisted of the usual worthy and unworthy individuals. Always good to see people who give selflessly of their own time to helping others less fortunate getting some recognition. However, it also seems slightly galling that people such as politicians and civil servants should get these awards as well. Simply for doing their jobs. Equally so for sports personalities and the usual catalogue of luvvies and thespians. Surely they get enough gongs and awards already?

At least Jon Snow, one of the few principled journalists left in the media had the good judgement to turn his OBE down saying he could not accept awards from those he was paid to investigate. At least he realises that stultifying criticism is what it is all about. Surprised though that BBC Scotland were not in line for some sort of award. They have taken on the mantle of the only effective opposition to the SNP led government at Holyrood.

Now if this all sounds a bit like sour grapes let us assure you that it is exactly that, The benefits of making, presenting and eating scones and the role scones have played in creating this wonderful country needs to be recognised sooner or later. Sooner would be good .. before we both turn into humpty dumpty lookalikes. Many thanks to the wonderful people who gifted these scones … you know who you are. We will be  back on the scone trail very soon, Happy New Year to you all.

ps for those who were unable to find the Buckhaven scone in the last post. It is 4 down and 4 across from the left on the header image.

 

Ordinary, Scones

Tea Jennys

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This is a lovely little cafe tucked away in Kings Court, just off the High Street in Falkirk. Originally called Kings Arms Court, any hostelry of that name has long since vanished into the mists of time. It is great to see establishments like Tea Jennys thriving in spite of the tax avoiding multinationals like Starbucks, Costa and Caffé Nero snapping up all the prime sites in town.  Of course, as we reported in an earlier post some places could do with taking a leaf out of the multinationals book. Because, aside from the tax stuff which isn’t really their fault, they really do know their business. You get the feeling though that Tea Jennys, has probably looked closely at what the multinationals are doing, noted it, then decided to take an alternative approach. It does everything the big boys do but just does it differently.

tea and tea cosies at Tea Jennies, falkirk
tea and tea cosies

 

The meals, cakes and scones are home made for a start, all excellent, but it is the other little touches that set it apart. The home-knitted tea cosys, a different one for each teapot. There was a santa hat and a christmas pudding on ours. No tea bags here either, the tea is proper leaf tea served in proper tea pots, in proper tea cups with a proper tea strainer. The decor is a bit chintzy .. but different. Certainly not like any multinational that we have visited. The service is warm and friendly. Unfortunately when we visited they only had cheese scones left. Equally unfortunately they forgot about the scones in our order.

Prospering

A gentle reminder, however, brought profuse apologies .. and our scones, nicely toasted. scones at Tea Jennys, FalkirkNot topscones but very good, we may have to come back earlier in the day to catch a plain or a fruit scone. Something to look forward to next year. It’s not as if Tea Jennys is simply holding its own against the multinational competition it appears to be thriving. They recently opened a deli and an additional cafe further along the street. Long may they continue to prosper. Internal view of Tea Jennys, Falkirk

Here’s to 2016

This is probably our last scone of 2015. It only leaves us to wish all our readers a very merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And thank you for all the support and enthusiasm throughout the year. Here’s to 2016, may all your scones be topscones.

FK1 1PG               tel: 01324 228185             Tea Jennys TA

english, Ordinary

Muriel’s Kitchen

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The London Borough of Richmond upon Thames is one of those entities that sounds as if it has been around for centuries. However, it has only been in existence since 1965 when three smaller council areas were amalgamated. It is home to many attractions like Kew Gardens, Hampton Court Palace, Twickenham Stadium. Our favourite is the London Wetlands Centre which we visit frequently.Muriel's 02

It is probably the single most affluent area of London and perhaps unsurprisingly is deemed to have the best quality of life.  Also unsurprisingly it is almost exclusively white and conservative. You will all, of course, remember that we have been here before at the Bingham Hotel. We spent a very pleasant afternoon sipping tea in rather posh surroundings. Muriel's 07

This time we were just out for a walk along the Thames but before we got to the river we stopped off here at Muriel’s Kitchen. There  are lots of cafés and coffee shops in town but this one took our fancy. Perhaps because we once had an aunt Muriel who baked a rather mean scone.  It’s a very pleasant place with a wide range of food on offer and somewhat retro decor; copper jelly moulds and frying pans in abundance.

Representative?

Sitting here, looking around, you realise that this place, and indeed the whole borough of Richmond, kind of represents the government. Predominately white, male, well heeled, privileged backgrounds, private and Oxbridge educated. A generalisation of course, but the flip side of the coin is a bit more worrying because this borough is nothing at all like the rest of the country. Hence, by definition, the makeup of the current government does not reflect the country it is supposed to serve. Given that only 1 in 4 of the electorate voted for it we should probably not be surprised. However, that’s UK style democracy, the most undemocratic state in the EU.

a jam jar??
a jam jar, what happened to presentation?

It raises the question though; if a government is crammed full of Oxbridge alumni does it mean that they will make good politicians and govern well. Self evidently, it does not. We have the most right wing government in years introducing the Chinese Communist Party into the heart of UK infrastructure. A move, the only possible beneficiaries of which can be the bankers.

Learning from history

It’s not as if we don’t already know all this. George W Bush’s administration was made up of the cream of Yale, Princeton and Harvard graduates. We all know what happened under that leadership .. catastrophic wars and financial disaster. Whatever happened to politicians from working class backgrounds. The Nye Bevans of this world who had imagination and empathy? Perhaps,  by way of an experiment, it should be mandatory for people who run for office to be certified eejits just to see if it would make any difference.

Unfortunately the scones might have been made by some sort of elite academic because, although perfectly edible, they would not have passed aunt Muriel’s exacting standards .. a bit doughy and a tad on the solid side …  great coffee though!

Muriel's 04b

TW9 1TW                  Tel: 02008 948 7011                 Muriel’s

Ordinary

Roasted and Toasted

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This place, Roasted and Toasted, came second in the Falkirk Herald’s  2015 cafe competition. Goodness knows what criterion they were using. It is one of these places we find intensely annoying. A family run business you desperately want to support but which is ignoring some business fundamentals.

Fundamentals
  • The coffee was tasteless .. like it had been watered down. Costa and Cafe Nero know their coffee and are both just a few meters away and packed out with customers. Go taste the difference.
  • Decor is what we would call ‘extreme bland’.
  • Lighting unimaginative. Not helped by the fact that about 40% of the lights had failed and not been replaced so adding to the overall slightly depressing atmosphere.
  • Lots of lifestyle messages that make you slightly nauseous e.g. “when it rains, look for rainbows” .. how about “in a coffee house look for a decent cup of coffee”!
  • Scones not homebaked.
  • Tables only seemed to be cleared when somebody needed them.
  • Not bothered to take the name of the previous occupants off their street canopy.

R&T 02

 

Now all this is a shame because the service is very friendly, hard working and generally trying  hard to please the customers. They asked if we wanted our scones heated in a microwave. Pat is firmly of the opinion that a microwave does scones no favours, so they offered to grill them .. nice touch. We previously had this done at Ardanasaig, and it was great, so we happily accepted the offer. Unfortunately it meant we had to wait ages and when they eventually came they had been heated in an oven rather than grilled .. but the thought was there and it was appreciated. R&T 03Sad though that they are putting in so much effort but ignoring some of the basics. With more attention to detail it could be transformed .. but then again it has been a pretty sad week.

EVEL
  • ‘Roasted and toasted’ could easily describe the current state of the Union after the poorly thought out EVEL (English Votes for English Laws) was successfully rushed through the Commons as a Standing Order. It hasn’t been done for constitutional reasons but rather for narrow political reasons. It means, for the first time since 1707, MPs are no longer equal. Of course, it has gone completely unreported by the BBC and most of the press.
  • One unelected head of state met another unelected head of state in a grotesque orgy of gold carriages, bearskin hats and obscene banquets in order to let all those using food banks how lucky they are. As a result of all this feting the Chinese will build a nuclear reactor for us. that is provided we pay double the going rate for electricity .. brilliant! The Chinese, of course, have a huge sovereign wealth fund second only to Norway. Just think .. if Scotland had become independent 30 years ago Cameron would be coming here with his begging bowl.
  • You may not have been worrying about this but it transpires that the Treason Felony Act 1848 has not been repealed after all. This act makes it a criminal offence, punishable by life imprisonment, to advocate abolition of the monarchy in print, even by peaceful means. The Ministry of Justice said that it had been repealed but then admitted that it hadn’t .. oops!

Roasted and Toasted can ignore all this, of course, they have more urgent matters to attend to.

FK1 1EY         tel: 01324 629117       Roasted and Toasted FB

Scones, self-service

St Mungo Museum

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This place, St Mungoi Museum of Religious Life, is very familiar. We both used to work in the adjacent Glasgow Royal Infirmary which you can see in the background on the left.

cafe area at the Museum of Religious L:ife, Glasgow
cafe area

We would sometimes come here for lunch if we wanted a change of scene. Also to look at Salvador Dali’s, Christ of St John of the Cross, bought by Glasgow in the 50s and now estimated to be worth in excess of £60m. Apparently Dali wanted £12,000 but Glasgow made him an offer he couldn’t refuse – £8,200 .. we dread to think. Didn’t see it this time though as it has been moved to the city’s Kelvingrove Gallery. The museum itself is interesting. It was built in 1989  and designed to reflect the architecture of the Bishops’ Castle which stood on this site in the 17th century. It aims to bring together differing faith systems and promote greater understanding.

Zen

It has Britain’s first zen garden and a Clooty Tree, which we always thought was a solely Tibetan tradition. Apparently, though, it is also Scottish, dating back to pre-Christian times. We don’t know of anywhere else where you can see so many works of art and other artefacts brought together from the six big religions: Islam, Hinduism, Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism and Sikhism. All sitting side by side, displaying the huge diversity of belief systems. Also the extraordinary lengths believers go to in creating these amazing artefacts. Each and every one designed to appeal to hearts and minds.

Nicola Sturgeon, a well known sconey, was after hearts and minds yesterday as she delivered her keynote speech to the SNP conference. A speech that the leaders of other parties must have wished they could have delivered. One of strength and unity. A scone at the Museum of Religious Life in GlasgowSince this place is all about understanding we wonder at the lack of understanding from Westminster for Scotland’s desire to simply stand on it’s own two feet. It’s not such a big ask, surely? Okay, okay, what about the scones?

Well the café area is pleasant enough and in keeping with the architecture of the rest of the building. Their scones, however,(bought in) are best described as ‘ordinary’. Don’t let that put you off visiting the museum.

part of the zen garden
part of the zen garden

G4 0RH       tel: 0141 276 1625      Museum of Religious Life & Art