Tag Archives: politics

A Ton Of Scones

11 March 2016 billpaterson1@me.com 4 Comments

Motorcyclists often refer to ‘doing a ton’, meaning 100mph, so this post is the scone equivalent. Not reviewing a particular scone but rather 100 scones; a ton of scones .. as a pie. Our last post from Liberty was our 100th so we thought it was time for some analysis. Bearing in mind our limited mathematical dexterity, 100 makes it easy to work out percentages. Our first post was Palmerston’s in Dunkeld almost exactly one year ago which works out at almost one scone every 4 days. How’s that for dedication, and amazingly, we are just as sylph-like as ever .. or at least Pat is.

The Results:

75% gained no accolade or categorisation other than they were just fairly ordinary or self service scones. That does not make them bad. In fact many of them were very good, but not good enough for an award. Notably the Biscuit and the Bingham Hotel just missed out on a topscone award.
Wee Blether

Annoyingly the Corinthian had superb scones but abysmal service, otherwise it would have had a topscone award. 1% of this category, the Buckhaven scone, wasn’t even a scone. Some, like the Wee Blether were just great fun.
21% gained a topscone award. We think this is rather good but like the ordinary scones not all were equal. If we were to select our top three topscones it would be Fonab Castle, the Olympic Studios and the Dormy.
Ardanaiseig

The other 18 topscones were all excellent but not quite as good as these three. Some locations like Ackergill Tower and Ardanaiseig were fabulous. Our most expensive scone was undoubtedly Claridges but what an experience!
1% was classed as ‘foreign’. The Duke was based on information from our Iberian correspondent.
2% was classed as ‘homemade’ … made by friends and not sold commercially. One, Dan’s was so good it got a topscone. The other was on Nicola Sturgeon making scones but we didn’t taste them so couldn’t give them an award, though we are sure they would have been first class.
4% were classed as ‘weird’. This did not mean they were in any way bad. They were just weird. The ‘thunder and lightning’ scone at Mother Murphy’s was memorable as was the ‘bacon and cheese’ scone at Habitat.
22% were self service scones. In itself this did not make them bad but none of them made topscone This was partly because it is about the whole experience and waiting in a queue is never as good as being waited on.
8% were island scones … The Puffer on Easdale being the best.
The Puffer
11% were English scones. Difficult to say if English scones are better than Scottish, they certainly have some odd ideas about the prioritisation of jam and cream. Might need further investigation.

A Dash of Politics: Our rants have probably got progressively more and more ranty as the year passed. Sincere apologies to all, but it makes us feel better!

Summary: All in all it has been a wonderfully enjoyable year. There are some places we won’t be rushing back to, either because they were too bad or too expensive. The vast majority, however, we would happily visit again .. which is great! Many thanks to our benefactors who have treated us to the odd scone here and there and thanks to our correspondents who have shared their scone stories with us. Thanks are also due to the places we have visited who, by and large, have enjoyed the reviews and given us lovely feedback. Will there be another ton? We shall see!

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Café Liberty

9 March 2016 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

When asked to name Britain’s poshest and most iconic shop, most people would probably say “Harrods”. And they might well be right. However, we think this place would give Harrods a run for it’s money, any day. It’s maybe not as big and it’s maybe not as posh, but it’s terribly terribly British.

Arthur Liberty opened the shop in 1875 selling oriental objets d’art and, perhaps most famously, it’s own printed fabrics .. later to become known as Liberty prints. It quickly became one of the most prestigious stores in London. The current Tudor style building, dates from 1924 and was constructed from the timbers of two ships: HMS Impregnable and HMS Hindustan. It’s a Grade II listed building constructed around three light wells each with smaller rooms leading off to provide a homely feel. Many of the rooms still have beautiful ornate fireplaces. When you wander round the shop you can’t help but be amazed at the eclectic range of stuff on offer. Everything from Alexander McQueen’s latest fashions to ceramic egg cups and vast heaps of Persian rugs. You never know what is just around the corner.

Dubious honour

On the 2nd floor there is Café Liberty where you can have breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea or even dinner. We have been here before on several occasions but had never tried the scones. Since Liberty was going to have the dubious honour of being our 100th scone, it just had to be done. Café Liberty is relatively small and very busy. It was pretty full when we arrived and we are sure we saw another hundred people come in and only about two leave. They don’t take reservations but somehow they, very calmly, manage to find seats for everyone. No one is kept waiting for any length of time and yet no-one seems to leave .. as Queen would say, “it’s a kind of magic!”
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Like Deanston and Glamis the scones come in pairs; for just under £10 you get one fruit, one plain and a pot of tea, not cheap, but not too bad considering they also come beautifully warm and with all the right accoutrements. Linen napkins, nice cutlery and of course jam and cream .. and what might even be a Liberty pattern plate. They were nice and soft on the inside and slightly crunchy on the outside, just the way we like them. Well done Liberty, nice to complete our first century of sconeology with a topscone award.

Promises promises

At one time Liberty had several stores around the country but now it is just this one. This government, however, elected by a third of the voting public, is taking one big liberty with just about everything: the NHS in England, the Vow in Scotland, the Chilcot enquiry, the immigration crisis, the EU, land reform, union rights, human rights, disability rights .. we could go on. The Tories belief in austerity (trickle up economy) is mind boggling. Especially when you consider that they came to power in 2010 promising to reduce the inherited debt of £780 billion. Yet here we are in 2016 with a dept that now stands at £1.6 trillion and growing by the second. What a liberty .. thank goodness Café Liberty harks back to a better more enlightened and humane past.W1B 5AH tel: 020 7734 1234 Liberty

Ordinary

Hugh’s Bar Restaurant

3 March 2016 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Hugh's is first floor right — Hugh’s is first floor right

We were in Glasgow for a meeting and afterwards found ourselves here, in Hugh’s Restaurant & Champagne Bar. It’s part of the House of Fraser department store. The store was founded in1849 by Hugh Fraser so that’s where the name comes from. It serves a range of coffees, over a dozen champagnes but principally Mumm and Bel Époque.

Now don’t be running away with the idea that we live some sort of champagne lifestyle, no, no, no! It just so happened that we were passing and, feeling a bit peckish (and a bit nosey) asked if they could do a scone. It didn’t exactly look like a scone place, but they immediately said “yes, of course” … very welcoming. Honest, no champagne was harmed in the making of this post. The decor is, however, fairly obviously aimed at the business folk of Glasgow who do live champagne lifestyles. Sleek, dark and sophisticated.

Anyway, they scooped us humble bloggers up into their arms with promises of lovely warm scones and perfect coffee. What were we to do? It was the middle of the day and it was very quiet so they were probably more than delighted to see anyone crossing their doorstep. True to their word our beautifully warm scones arrived on a slab of slate with little ceramic dishes of jam and cream. They were very good, could even have been a topscone but think they may have been baked the day before so maybe not as fresh as they could have been.

Is it an IQ test

Super Tuesday has just passed. It increasingly looks like Clinton and Trump are going to slug it out for the White House. Someone on social media noted that “the Americans seem to think it is an election, but it is in fact just an IQ test”. Kind of sums it up. Anyway, Hugh’s is an oasis of calm if you are suffering from retail fatigue. Try it if you get the chance, the staff are very helpful.

G1 3HL tel: 0141 221 3880 ext 2101 Hugh’s Champagne Bar

english, Ordinary, self-service

White Peaks Café

2 March 2016 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

This is our first visit to Kew Gardens. It famously houses the world’s biggest collection of living plants. It quickly became evident that a few hours was never really going to do it justice. It’s big, about 300 acres, and there’s lots to see and do. Orchid collections; photographic exhibitions; tropical glasshouses; museums of botany; loads of beautiful parkland and big adventure playgrounds for children. There are four eateries all operated by the same external contractor and they are all different. We ended up in the White Peaks family food hall near the adventure play area. It was busy, busy, busy, kiddies everywhere, but we had kiddies with us too so we were just adding to the general chaos.

‘Food hall’ is probably the correct description rather than ‘restaurant’. You certainly would not come here for a quiet cuppa .. at least not on a school holiday. If you want that The Orangery, a couple of hundred yards further on, would probably be a much better bet. Fortunately White Peaks is self-service and set up to cater for loads of people all at once. It doesn’t take long to get served with whatever takes your fancy. Predictably our fancy was taken by the scones. Not because they looked particularly appetising, but rather out of our unstinting sense of duty.

Not Claridges

As might be expected in a place like this everything is geared towards fast food and the scones are no exception; jam and cream in little sealed plastic pots; paper plates; plastic knife. Do they not know that we normally have our scones at Claridge’s .. darling? This definitely was not a Claridge’s scone but then that would be like comparing apples and pears. Let’s just say that this scone was okay and ideally suited to it’s environment.

If the folks in London are baffled by a peculiar chortling noise drifting downwind from the north, it is probably referendum hardened Scots laughing. They are chortling at the 2014 pantomime of the Scottish independence referendum being played out again. However, this time it’s over the EU. The same predictions of impending doom if we stay in .. oh, and if we leave. Incredibly, the people who want to leave the EU are ferociously arguing that ‘we need to have control over our own affairs‘, are exactly the same people who argued so ferociously to stop that happening in Scotland. The logic is hard to grasp.

Weasel words

The other day Ian Duncan Smith said “I’m tired of hearing that we’re too small, too little, too inconsequential to stand alone”. Is that a wee touch of amnesia Ian? What were you saying a year ago about Scotland? No such worries on this beautiful day at Kew. We didn’t notice any kiddie-winks fretting about the prospects of being in .. or out, although, they are the ones who will be affected most. Whatever the result, it will be made to work so it probably does not matter that much. Dumfries & Galloway Council have resorted to cutting a pack of cards to make decisions. Maybe Westminster should do the same, it would save a lot of trouble?

TW9 3AB tel: 020 8332 5000 Kew Gardens

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Le Pain Quotidien

28 February 2016 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

This place is just round the corner from Victoria station and was the chosen spot for a rendezvous with a group of Lithuanians. Don’t ask, it’s a long story. Le Pain Quotidian ( the daily bread) originated in Belgium but now has outlets in nineteen countries stretching from Brazil to India. This is the first we have come across.

The emphasis is on providing a place for people to meet and do business or just have a good gossip. To that end, they provide some long tables where people or families can gather round and do just that. It prides itself on it’s artisan bread made the traditional way. ‘Bakers blend organic stone-ground flour, kneaded patiently by hand and baked in stone lined hearths’ .. whatever! Can they make a scone?

In the interests of diversity, we thought we should try the ‘organic spelt & quinoa scone’. If nothing else it was definitely different and, from that point of view, difficult to compare with other scones. A heavy mix as you might expect with a spelt flour but the added quinoa seeds, currants and almonds gave it a, not unpleasant, crunchy texture. It came with a pot of mixed strawberry/rhubarb jam and a dish of what we thought was cream but turned out to be ricotta – an Italian whey cheese made from sheep milk.

Now once we had got over the surprise of it being nothing like the cream we had been expecting, it was not that bad. In fact, with the scone itself being so completely different, the ricotta complemented the scone quite well. Probably better than cream would have done. This is the first time we have come across quinoa (pronounced: kinwa) in a scone. It probably demonstrates Le Pain Quotidien holding true to its basic philosophy of using good honest healthy ingredients. Apparently it originated from the shores of Lake Titicaca which is quite exotic in itself. At £5 per scone however, they are not cheap. Never had a hope of being a topscone but just for being sooooo different we think it qualifies for a top weird scone award. Won’t be rushing back for another but well done for broadening our scone horizons.

Weapons of mass destruction

Not far away there was a Stop Trident rally in Trafalgar Square. Isn’t it odd that we give so much attention to making nuclear power stations absolutely safe. Then spend vastly more money planning for the creation of even bigger nuclear disasters .. bizarre. Of course, things have moved on. The big question now is not whether we should get rid of them but whether we can get rid of them fast enough. Before The Donald and BoJo are ruling the world. The BBC‘s report on the rally just prattled on about how disappointing the turnout had been in spite of their own pictures showing umpteen thousands present.

BREAKING NEWS:

In best BBC style, keeping you up to date with scone news, we have breaking news from our Trossachs correspondent. The same one who, you will remember, gifted us some Dobbies scones at Christmas. Apparently, when he went to pay for his cream scone the other day at Dobbies in Stirling he discovered that cream scones were subject to a BOGOF deal so he went home with another scone in a box which fed four people the following day. All for £1.45 .. remarkable. Many thanks to our reporter. Obviously they were not spelt and quinoa scones. In spite of the London prices, however, Le Pain Quotidien is worth a visit. A little bit quirky, good food, great service and nice atmosphere. It also has a good website with plenty of information and recipe suggestions.

SW1V 1JZ tel: 020 3657 6945 Le Pain Quotidien

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Claridge’s

25 February 2016 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

You know you are at Claridge’s when, to get across the street, you have to negotiate your way through loads of Bentleys and Aston Martins. Then, when you get to reception you have to decide between an ordinary room at £550 per night, or a suite .. dilemma! Eventually we thought a £3,500 suite would be comfortable enough for one night. Then we discovered that breakfast was going to be an additional £80 … arrgghh. And everything had been going so well.

The Scot in us suddenly came racing to the fore and, you guessed it, we ended up just going for a scone. Not just any old scone, mind you, a full afternoon tea in the form of a much anticipated present from a couple of thoughtful and generous readers .. hint, hint.

Hen’s teeth

Diligent readers will have noted that over the last few months, topscone awards have been as rare as hen’s teeth, so we were feeling pretty excited and confident. If hen’s teeth were going to be found anywhere, it would be here.

Excitement is not something that Claridge’s does. The atmosphere, in the rather splendiferous 1930’s art deco Foyer, is one of intense calm. Disturbed only by the soft sounds of the pianist and cellist playing selections from Beethoven and Bublé. Pat always blends effortlessly into such luxurious surroundings – a sign of good breeding no doubt. Whereas I tend to feel more comfortable towards the greasy spoon end of the market.

Cannot believe I have just mentioned a greasy spoon in this context. If such an item was found here some member of staff would immediately be taken out and unceremoniously shot. As serious sconeys, however, whose sole raison d’être is to inform our readers about scones at all levels, we felt it had to be done. Regardless of personal sacrifice. The menu will give you an flavour of what had to be endured.

Pièce de résistance

here’s no doubt that these sandwiches, helped down with lashings of champagne, were probably the best we have ever tasted. Superb, we ate every last crumb. The glaringly empty plate prompted them to ask if we would like more. Of course, we had to conserve some space for the pièce de résistance .. the scones. We politely declined.

Iron Goddess

Before that we had to choose from a couple of dozen teas from around the world. Pat plumped on China White Peony with ‘hints of peach and apricot‘ and I went for the Iron Goddess Of Mercy, a gentle flavoured oolong which is high in caffeine and recommended as ‘the perfect afternoon pick-me-up‘. Ideal for me after having been awake all morning.

Tea for enemies

The tea comes served in teapots that only hold one cup. When you want more they go and get more hot water and each infusion is supposed to improve each time. We were told by our Chinese waitress. ‘The first cup is for your enemies, the second cup for your wife and the third cup is for yourself’. Just as well we were both drinking different teas as I’m pretty sure Pat would not have been happy being given the second cup. The scones! Apparently ‘Claridge’s scone recipe is a timeless classic refined over generations‘. They have ‘a soft yielding texture and a colour of warm white gold‘ and are served with Cornish clotted cream and tea scented Marco Polo gelée … ‘the perfect complement to the scone‘. Nothing as common as jam here!

Malawi Antler

They were not far wrong, it was all excellent. However, rather than being the clear and easy decision we had expected, we had to deliberate for a bit on whether they qualified as topscones or not? The presentation of course was excellent but the scones themselves were not quite up to Fonab standards. Of course Fonab is top of the tree so the answer was yes, phew! Because we are unlikely to be taking tea here again any time soon, for my final cup I changed to the Malawi Antler. A tea which is ‘unspeakably rare’ and in the UK can only be found at Claridge’s. It had to be done. It was very nice. Though the antlers (tea shoots instead of leaves) which ‘wonderfully express the earth of Malawi’ was a bit lost on my decidedly uneducated palette.

Fudge

The rest of the afternoon was taken up with cake scoffing, and generally watching the world go by. What a fabulous way to spend the day. Many many thanks to our very generous benefactors. Before we left this cocoon of peace and calm our waiter rushed off to get us a present. Two little boxes of Claridge’s fudge. Judging by his performance over the ‘new deal’ and the EU referendum we think Cameron has been given several mega boxes.

W1K 4HR tel: 020 7629 8860 Claridges

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Acoustic Café

18 February 2016 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

“Sounds like great coffee” … that’s the strap line for this latest addition to the Falkirk café scene, the Acoustic Café. Not sure what great coffee sounds like? Maybe it’s the deafening sound of their own coffee machine, it really is the loudest. However, we feel it probably indicates a bit of confused thinking around the concept of selling coffee and guitars together in the one place.

So, is the Acoustic Cafe a coffee shop that sells guitars or a guitar shop that sells coffee, we’re not sure. It does not seem to do either particularly well … kind of falls between two stools, so to speak. As a guitar shop it has a good range of very nice guitars. All well and good you might think. We suspect, however, that more attention has been paid to this aspect of the business than the cafe side … and if anything it should be the other way round.

New startup

Some fundamentals are just not there; the coffee may sound great but what about the taste? It is not up to the standard of it’s near competitors. The staff are not trained to the same standard as it’s near competitors. The sole member of staff on two of our visits was unsure of just about everything. Worst of all, of course, the scones are decidedly average. Not home baked, a bit dry and powdery … nowhere near a topscone. On the up-side it has a nice funky interior which differentiates it from the rest and offers loads of potential. Also, it has only been in existence for a couple of months so maybe we should cut it some slack. If it can concentrate more on the cafe side of things we hope it goes on to make sweet music and much better coffee and scones for many years to come.

More broken promises

Music to the ears! That’s what we call the Scottish Government’s stance in the negotiations with the U.K. government over settlement of the new fiscal framework for Scotland. Instead of giving the ‘sweeping new powers’ promised after the referendum, new powers will now have to be paid for through reduced funding. Not even vaguely in the spirit of the Smith Commission. Thank goodness for the SNP. If it had been up to a Labour led administration they would have undoubtedly rolled over to their London masters long ago. Scotland would be much worse off as a result.

Luthiers

To end on a high note, the Acoustic Café did manage to introduce a new word to our lexicon .. luthier; someone who makes or repairs stringed instruments, a service available through the cafe.

FK2 7AS tel: 01324 638297 Acoustic Cafe FB

Ordinary, Scones

Anteaques Tearoom

10 February 2016 billpaterson1@me.com 6 Comments

On the south side of Edinburgh you can find Anteaques. You can see what they have done there, can’t you! It is that kind of place .. a bit quirky, not quite one thing or the other. A curious combination but one that works quite well. It’s a very small place. By the time they’ve put in four tables and chairs for the tea and scones there is not much room left for anything else.

Queen’s breakfast

Because of the space restrictions, the antiques side of things is relatively limited … but the tea house is another story. A vast array of over sixty fine loose teas. They even have tasting tables for sampling whatever takes your fancy. We like a good cup of tea as much as anyone but there is no way we could be described as connoisseurs. We sometimes experiment in places like this but can never remember which is which when next presented with a tea menu. This time we chose ‘Queens Breakfast’ a blend of Ceylon and Darjeeling black teas. Interestingly, according to the notes: the blending of teas specifically for breakfast originated in Edinburgh in the 19th century. A tea merchant by the name of Drysdale had a small shop in the Old Town and sold a tea simply called “breakfast”.

Our Queen’s Breakfast was very good. Like all good teas the service and presentation combine to create an ‘experience’. Different from what you would experience if the same tea was presented in, for example, a Lyle’s syrup tin with a wire handle. Many years ago, on my first day as a student labourer, I was directed to make the tea for about thirty men in the site hut. Since I found all the syrup tins half full of old tea leaves I decided to clean them all out .. what a disaster. Lucky to escape with my life. At Anteaques, however, it is all beautiful china ware, fantastic glass teapots and gleaming silver cutlery. Not a trace of a site hut or a syrup tin anywhere. The scones are home baked and really very good, as was the cream. Not scooshie, perish the thought.

Rose petal jam

The best thing, however, was the jam .. rose petal jam, especially imported from Grasse in the south of France .. fabulous! So fabulous we had to buy a jar to take home.

Trump and Cameron

The ambience in Anteaques Tearoom is one of genteel sophistication and we would have loved to have given it a topscone, if only for the jam, but the scones were just a whisker off the mark … pity.

When you sit in a place like this you could easily forget that the world outside is not as pleasant as it is in here. Trump and Sanders slugging it out in New Hampshire. Surely, even with it’s past record of electing complete plonkers, America could not elect Trump .. surely? Cameron slugging it out in Europe, frantically pretending he’s making some sort of difference. The logic of Cameron’s situation is that, if he gets his way (he is not asking for much) he will campaign to stay in. If not, presumably he will campaign to leave. No matter what happens everyone knows that he will never recommend leaving … so where is the logic?

Worth the effort

If you find it all a bit upsetting then get along to Anteaques for tea and scones. You will emerge in a much better state of mind. To add to the quirkiness of the place, it is only open three days a week. Friday, Saturday and Sunday .. and .. because it’s so small you really have to book a table in advance. Worth the effort though. Enjoy that rose petal jam.

EH8 9JH tel: 0131 667 8466 Anteaques

Ordinary, Scones

The Coffee Bothy

7 February 2016 billpaterson1@me.com

Since the closure of our own much missed Rosebank distillery in 1993 we have had to travel almost twenty miles to Deanston to get to our nearest distillery. Not that we particularly need to get to a distillery. We did the distillery tour several years back. Deanston, however, is always worth a visit, just for the coffee shop if nothing else.

In the beginning

This place actually started life as a cotton mill back in 1785. It employed so many people that they built a model village round the mill in much the same way as David Dale did at New Lanark. Workers were paid in tokens that could only be exchanged at the village shop which, you guessed it, was operated by the mill owner. A perfect monetary circle .. for the owner! In 1966 the cotton industry came to an end and the building was converted to a whisky distillery drawing water from the nearby river Teith. For those of you with twitching tendencies, the river just opposite the distillery is a good spot for seeing common sandpipers.

Initially it was closed to the public but a couple of years back they must have thought they should cash in on the tourism side of the industry. It was opened the place up for distillery tours. Of course, there had to be the obligatory coffee shop. In this case, the Coffee Bothy, one of three such enterprises run by Blairmains Farm. We have been here several times before and have always enjoyed it’s good food and good value. When you order a scone you actually get two which, being quite small, isn’t a problem. In fact it’s a positive benefit if you want to try two different kinds. You also get plenty of jam and cream, though unfortunately it’s scooshie cream and you all know what we think of that. Not topscone but very enjoyable nevertheless.

UK economy

Much of the movie ‘The Angel’s Share’ was filmed here. For those unfamiliar with the term ‘angel’s share’ perhaps we can explain it like this. Imagine that our UK economy is the whisky in a barrel. By a process akin to osmosis, over the years, the whisky evaporates through the wood and upwards to the angels who gradually get happier and happier. They can hardly believe their luck. Meanwhile the whisky in the barrel gets less and less and weaker and weaker. Think you can see where we are going with this.

Eventually the barrel is empty and useless but in the process a few angels have become very happy indeed. A perfect analogy for Osborne’s UK economy. Sell off everything that belongs to the people to your mates at knockdown prices. Then hire it all back to the people at extortionate rates .. brilliant! We think he may have worked in that Deanston shop at one time!

If you haven’t done the Deanston distillery tour, you should. It is fascinating .. and then go to the Coffee Bothy for a brace of scones. A good day out and there is something strangely comforting about eating scones surrounded by two million litres of the amber nectar.

FK16 6AG tel:01786 843013 The Bothy

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Brodies Vintage Tearoom

4 February 2016 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Today we are back in Linlithgow having had all our cobwebs removed by storms Gertrude and Henry .. thankfully it has now calmed down a bit. This time, on the recommendation of several friends, we’re looking for Brodies tearoom. Not as simple as you might think. It turns out they are in the process of revamping the tearoom and currently don’t have a name outside their premises. So instead of putting up our usual external header view we have given you a view of some the items in the loo. Apparently the plan is to take over another cafe further along the road. It will be ‘modern’ and this one will be their ‘vintage’ tearoom. From the decor you can see that it is already fairly vintage.

Less is more

Pat decided to have a fruit scone and I opted for a walk on the wild side with the white chocolate and pear. A new one on me. Both were very good but, yet again, not quite topscone material! Mine, however, was good enough to get a ‘top weird scone’ so at least we have been able to make an award. For those wondering, a weird scone is usually one that is not plain, fruit or cheese .. okay! Sometimes when you go into to a cafe like this you just know it is going to be good. So it was with Brodies. The food, the service were everything it should be. We hope though that when they finish their refurb the end result is not quite so cluttered. Or if it is that is more thoughtfully cluttered .. less is more kind of thing.

What’s in a name?

Just along the road from Brodies is a 13th century pub called The Black Bitch .. a name which is a trifle unusual in our modern, politically correct world. There is a perfectly logical reason, however, for the name. And indeed why anyone born in Linlithgow, man or woman, is referred to by the same name.

Fidelity

In times gone by, the King sentenced a thief to be tied to a tree on an island in the middle of the loch .. to starve to death. It would, of course, only have been a matter of time had it not been for the intervention of the thief’s big black greyhound dog (not the one made famous by Billy Connelly). It took it upon itself to swim out and keep him supplied with food. Maybe even the odd scone or two? When the King discovered what was going on the dog was tethered to a tree on another island until they both perished. Happy days!

The town’s folk felt the dog’s fidelity and generosity of spirit pretty well summed up their own character so they adopted for the town’s coat of arms. Henceforth anyone born in the town was referred to as a black bitch. Told you it was logical!

We think that George Gideon Osborne may have been born in Linlithgow. He certainly deserves the title but perhaps for different reasons! His eleven personal meetings with Google resulted in a 3% tax burden being levied against the corporation. Of course it would have been embarrassing to charge them more. His own family business doesn’t pay any tax on their property deals after all? This week he also managed to provide Aberdeen with a ‘super generous’ rescue package. Coincidentally, it exactly equals one month’s rental of the Crossrail tunnel boring machine. Like everything else, it is being built on the proceeds of Aberdeen’s oil .. collapsed or not!

Is that island in the loch still available? We’ll make sure no animals are endangered this time! In the meantime we look forward to Brodie’s expansion. Another report may be required?

EH49 7EJ tel: 01506 843036 Brodies

Scones, history and a dollop of politics