Tag Archives: Parcel of Rogues

Ordinary, Scones

Café Riva

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Cafe Riva at Inverkip Marina takes its name from the classic Riva Aquarama speedboat which although it went out of production in 1999 is still much sought after by the rich and famous.. Riva Aquarama speedboat My experiences on the ocean wave, however, weren’t nearly so high powered or spritely!

Love, hate

Being here is a bit of a nostalgia trip. For quite a few years I would be leaving from here on a 34ft Westerly Falcon called Brizo. Six knots was the maximum speed and we didn’t hit that very often. Having said that, we did once manage an exhilarating 14 knots but only with the help of the infamous Corryvreckan whirlpool. The boat was owned by a syndicate, all of whom lived down south. Being the only relatively local person, I was called upon every other weekend  to crew with whichever member of the syndicate’s turn it was to have the boat.  With seven berths there were many happy adventures exploring the coastlines of Scotland and Ireland. For me personally it was a love hate relationship. I was always fine on board until we left the marina whereupon I would promptly be sick … never ever found my sea legs!Inverkip Marina

Always worth it in the end though. Some great trips as far as Orkney and St Kilda in some fantastic company. A scone at Café Riva

Closing time

The marina has got bigger since these days and Café Riva is one of the new additions. We had the misfortune to arrive fifteen minutes before closing. A scone at Café RivaThe tables and chairs were already being taken in. Somewhat grudgingly they agreed to provide us with a scone and some tea. The fact that we couldn’t sit inside wasn’t a problem since the day was a bit cloudy but lovely and warm. Our tea and scone was plonked on our table without ceremony. The scone in a paper bag and the tea in cardboard cups. By now, you have probably guessed that this was never going to be a topscone. But we enjoyed sitting there watching the rest of the tables and chairs disappearing inside. External view of Café Riva

Nightmares

In our previous post from Helensbank we mentioned the plight of the five people stuck in a mini-submarine near the wreck of the Titanic. Barak Obama rightly questioned the wall to wall media coverage it was getting. Of course, we now know it resulted in the sad loss of all five lives. Obama was comparing it to the comparatively scant coverage given to the loss of 700 lives in a fishing boat off the coast of Italy. Both were tragedies for everyone involved. We think, however, the uneven coverage was probably due to a basic human condition. Being trapped in a cold dark place for days on end simply waiting for your oxygen to run out relates to peoples most base fears … the stuff of nightmares. The Mediterranean tragedy wasn’t relatable in quite the same way.Logo of Café Riva

Just outside Café Riva was this intriguing sculpture which we could also relate to. On the little plaque it said “Sometimes We Get It Right”Sometimes we get it right

Promising signs .. or not?

Elsewhere, part of Russia’s army, the infamous Wagner Group seems to be in a state of mutiny. However, they probably haven’t fully reckoned in dealing with a duplicitous Moscow. Similarly Humza Yousaf, First Minister of Scotland, has just published his road map to Scottish Independence. However, we think he probably hasn’t fully reckoned with the duplicitous parcel of rogues at Westminster.

PA16 0AW        tel: 01475 789850        Café Riva

///equality.brisk.roofs

 

Ordinary, Scones

Battle of Bannockburn

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This Post May Contain Rants. We thought we should make that clear at the start for people of a sensitive disposition.

Purely by some fluke of circumstance we have ended up here at the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor Centre. We’ve been here at the site of the battle many times before but never bothered to go into the visitor centre. Today was different, however, it was pouring with rain. It was so heavy that we couldn’t get a decent photo of the outside of the building. It’s pretty ugly, however, so you’re not missing much. That could be the first rant. Why has such an iconic site got an ugly grey box for a visitor centre? Sign for the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor Centre

The second is about the signage. The Battle of … What? It has been so over designed it is barely decipherable. Considering that most folk coming here are foreigners this seems to add an unnecessary level of complexity to their understanding of what went on here. We see it all over the place. It’s the triumph of academia over common sense.

Borders

Of course the Centre celebrates the Battle of Bannockburn in 1314 between England and Scotland. It does beg the question of why there was an English army just outside Stirling in the first place. Okay, okay, Scotland has never been the easiest of neighbours … we’re a bit rough! Our national flower is not the jaggy thistle for nothing. Our bagpipes have not been declared a ‘weapon of war’ for nothing. Even wearing tartan has been seen as provocative … but still! We think that after Brexit, when an independent Scotland has rejoined the EU, instead of a wall along the border, we should have a leylandii hedge and then England can fight with us over what height it should be. It would help maintain a long tradition between difficult neighbours.

Internal view of the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor CentreRobert the Bruce’s victory, of course, led to the Declaration of Arbroath which set Scotland up as a proud self respecting and independent country. Most importantly it declared that the independence of Scotland was the sole prerogative of the people of Scotland. A few centuries later, however, it all went pear shaped. A “parcel of rogues” in the form of a handful of Scottish aristocrats sold Scotland down the river in exchange for English gold. Scotland became the only country in the world to be ruled by another … as it still is today. Thankfully this sorry state of affairs is about to come to an end when, hopefully, within the not too distant future, the people will reassert their right to self determination and Scotland will be independent again … FREEDOM! Apologies, got a little bit carried away there.

Footnotes

This ranting about independence is all well and good but what about the important stuff … the scones, did they have scones.? A scone at the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor CentreYes they did! It’s a little known fact but a footnote in the small print of the Declaration of Arbroath (as a small concession to the defeated English) states “if ever there be a visitor centre established at Bannockburn it must sell little packs of English butter from Wiltshire with the scones” And so it came to pass! There was no cream but our fruit scones came with said butter as well as jam that you dolloped on your plate from a large bowl at the servery.

A scone at the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor Centre
spot the fruit

It reminded us of how many cafés in Norway serve jam with their fabulous boller. Unfortunately these scones were very disappointing. They just did not taste right … as if something was missing. The fruit was certainly missing.

Kitsch

Scotland badge at the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor Centre
scottish tat

Something is missing from this Visitor Centre as well. Hard to put your finger on it but it could easily be much much better. They have the usual assemblage of tartan tat as well as a large display of Hollywood kitsch in the form of plastic props from the Outlaw King film … what’s that all about? That was the last rant. Don’t get us started on Boris. Just remember that although he doesn’t have a clue where he is taking the UK, it will all be great! Smile be upbeat, that will do the trick. Last rant … promise

FK7 0LJ        tel: 01786 812664           Bannockburn

///item.wing.slope

The Pedant has just sent this picture of a brace of K6s at Knightsbridge Green in London. Both from the Lion foundry in Kirkintilloch and one of which is still fully functional. Many thanks.Two K6 telephone boxes at Knightsbridge Green, London