N.Ireland Archives - Scones, history and a dollop of politics

We’ve reviewed the scones at Callendar House twice before, once in 2015 and again in 2017. With a seven year gap we thought readers would be ready for an update.

Wall covering in Callendar House — Wall covering in the tearoom

Callendar House, which used to be owned by the Forbes family, lies about a hundred yards south of the Antonine Wall which the Romans built all the way across Scotland. It formed the northern edge of their Empire. The southern edge was bounded by Arabia and the Sahara desert. They regarded everything south of the Antonine Wall as “civilised” and everything north as “barbaric and more bother than it’s worth”. The Romans are long gone but that view hasn’t changed much over the intervening two millennia. FYI, our house lies on the civilised side … obviously!

Dangers of crinoline dresses

Actually, we just decided to take a walk round the small loch that lies to the east of the house. Something we hadn’t done in a long time. Back in the day, all grand houses had a loch of their own and it wasn’t simply a conceit on the part of the owners. In the absence of any kind of organised public fire fighting service a loch was seen as essential as a readily available water supply in the event of an inferno.

Probably not much use when people like Oliver Cromwell were deliberately trying to set fire to the place but even in peace times, conflagrations were seen as relatively likely given the number of ladies in crinoline dresses swishing about in front of open fires under a multitude of candelabras. Of course, even if you had your own loch, it would still have been difficult if there was only you and a bucket. You needed servants and lots of them but, of course, that wasn’t a problem for the aristocracy.

Gentrification

If you’ve ever had ambitions, or even just wondered how to become an aristocrat perhaps we can help. Back in 1783 Callendar House and the Estate that encompassed most of Falkirk was being sold by auction. The Earl of Errol (an oven ready aristocrat) had high ambitions at the auction but was eventually outbid by an upstart scrap merchant, one William Forbes, from Aberdeen. Eyebrows were raised. Not only that, in true scrap merchant style, he pulled the cash from his hip pocket and paid for it on the spot. Subsequently he became Sir William Forbes, 1st Lord of Callendar … and that’s how you join the aristocracy. Common as muck one day and a Knight of the Realm the next! Probably wasn’t quite like that but you catch our drift.

A new experience

Although Callendar House is pretty much in the centre of Falkirk most towns folk had never been anywhere near it. The Forbes kept it very private. However, in 1963 the local Council took it over, opened it up to the public and established a cafe for non-aristocrats like ourselves. After our walk it was nice to get inside and settle down with some coffee. And we could either have a plain or, surprise, surprise, a milk chocolate and strawberry scone. In the interests of expanding reader’s sconological knowledge we rather tentatively opted for the latter.

View from tearoom in Callendar House — View from the tearoom

On previous visits we have been quite critical of this tearoom. To us, it never seems to ever reach its full potential. We could still level that accusation now but at least on this occasion there were staff on hand and we were attended to promptly and quite pleasantly if not smilingly. Still no cream but the scone itself was really nice … no crunchiness but fresh and moist. With this combination there was really no need for jam or cream, it was delicious just with a little butter. A topweird scone!

Provost lamps at Callendar House — Newly refurbished cast iron Provost lamps installed at the back of the house

Agreements

In 1565 the marriage agreement between Mary Queen of Scots and the French Dauphin, Francis was signed in Callendar House. It provided that Scotland and France should eventually be united as one kingdom, We all know how that went. Since then Scotland has been in Europe and then back out again … better to hold onto something if you are starting to feel a bit dizzy. Westminster has now reached some sort of agreement in N.Ireland to restore power-sharing at Stormont. It seems Westminster is going to try to persuade the EU that nothing has changed and that N. Ireland is still in the EU rather than the UK while simultaneously persuading everyone else of the opposite. With Westminster’s well honed skills in duplicity, they may well succeed!

FK1 1YR tel: 01324 503775 Callendar House Tearoom

///wishes.dozen.parks

If you ever find yourself running the mile or so from the Inchture Hotel to the train station, don’t bother! The railway is still there but the station closed in 1956.

The railway bus, Inchture — The Inchture Railway Bus – from a picture in the hotel

In a bygone age however you would not have had to run at all. You could have been transported in some style on the Inchture Railway Bus. A horse drawn tramway which ran for over 60 years up to 1917 between the village and the station. Inchture is on the north side of the Firth of Tay. It is now bypassed by the A90 which means it is relatively quiet and peaceful. We are normally in this area looking for marsh harriers and bearded tits in the reed beds on the Tay estuary. In spite of relative success, however, with the harriers, to date, we have never seen a bearded tit. They are there though … annoying!

This is our first visit to the family run Inchture Hotel … it’s nice, in a calm unpretentious kind of way! Weddings seem to be a speciality. Since we have done all that, however, scones were the only things in our thoughts. Presentation was good and service was very attentive. Profuse apologies were offered for the late arrival of our coffee even though it wasn’t that late. The scones themselves were delicious, not crunchy at all but the fruit turned out to be a lovely mix of currants, raisins, cherries and peel … different! It was kind of borderline but eventually we decided they were worthy of a topscone award … well done Inchture Hotel.

Magic money trees

No awards for Theresa May however. She condescendingly explained to a nurse that she could not get a pay rise because there was “no magic money tree”. She then suddenly found one so that she could give a bribe of one billion pounds to N. Ireland’s DUP for their support. That’s £100m per MP. The “magic money tree” of course grows in Scotland. However, Scotland, as usual, is to get zilch! If this is indicative of her negotiating tactics for Brexit, the UK had better have deep pockets. Or rather Scotland had better be prepared to fund even more of her ludicrous decisions.

PH14 9RN Tel: 01828 686298 Inchture Hotel

ps: As we mentioned in our last post, our Trossachs correspondents have been conducting a scone search on St Kitts & Nevis! Unfortunately, is spite of their considerable efforts, we have to report that the Caribbean, to all intents and purposes is a scone free zone. Bermuda triangle and all that! Unless someone knows differently, of course!

Fountains in the Gorbals

Happily though they had their handy allaboutthescones telephone box identification guide with them when they visited the Ballahoo restaurant in Basseterre, the capital of St Kitts. With it they managed to identify a K6 … they even sent a photograph of the manufacturers badge … well done them! Interestingly the large green clock/drinking fountain in the foreground was also made in Scotland – in the Sun Foundry in Glasgow to be precise. It commemorates one Thomas Berkeley Hardtman-Berkley a local estate owner who died in 1881. Even more interestingly it is an exact copy of an identical fountain which stood in the Gorbals area of Glasgow until it was dismantled in 1932.

Today the plan is to reinstate the fountain and a team from Glasgow Caledonian University has been sent to Basseterre charged with producing an exact 3D image of the fountain using lasers and digital photography. The new fountain will then be produced using their imagery … you see how mind expanding scones can be! Once again, many thanks to our correspondents for their unstinting dedication.

Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Tag Archives: N.Ireland

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