Tag Archives: Liz Truss

Scones, topweird

Greens at the Courthouse

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Although this post comes from Greens at the Courthouse in Dornoch our target destination for today was the little village of Embo in Sutherland and yet another beach.

The beach at Embo
Part of the beach at Embo

In 1245 the Battle of Embo took place here between the Scots and the Vikings. Honestly, if you have to have a battle this is a great place to have one … there must have been a lot of kicking sand in faces. And in 1988, without a drop of blood being shed, Embo declared itself independent from the rest of the UK. They even issued their own currency, the Cuddie (two Cuddies to the Pound). Okay it was only for one day and it was to raise funds to create a community centre. Scotland could learn a thing or two from Embo but, of course, our currency is destined to be the smackeroonie!

Sconeless Granny?

Embo is where Grannie’s Heilan’ Hame is and if ever there was a place guaranteed to provide a good scone this has to be it … surely? The granny in question was Kate Mackay who, in 1952, went to live in Boston USA. The well known song reflects on visits to her Embo home. To hear a rousing version click here.

   Where the heather bells are blooming, just outside Grannie’s door,
   Where as laddies there we played, in days of long ago.
   ‘Neath the shadow of Ben Braggie and Golspie’s lordly stane.
   How I wish that I could see my Grannie’s Hielan’ Hame.

Grannie's Heilan' Hame in Embo
Grannie’s Heilan’ Hame is now much extended at the centre of a huge caravan park

When we went to the restaurant to ask if they had any scones or cakes we were informed “No the closest we would have to scones or cakes is toast“… what? Don’t think granny would have been too happy about that. Crest fallen we retreated a mile down the beach to Dornoch and Greens at the Courthouse.

A pirate ship in Embo
Before leaving Embo we managed to board a pirate ship … mega exciting!
The milkman

We were here in 2017 when it was called the Carnegie Courthouse. Apparently the combined problems of Brexit and COVID were too much for the previous owners. Since earlier this year it is under new management. Still looks pretty much the same with its large painting on the back wall of the courthouse in action. Madonna had her son, Rocco, christened directly across the street in Dornoch Cathedral and then got married to Guy Ritchie the following day in nearby Skibo Castle. They are both featured as well as a host of other celebrities including the local milkman.Internal view of Greens at the Courthouse

If you remember, our previous scone was at the Rosemarkie Beach Cafe and it was white chocolate and cranberry. Here it was white chocolate and cherry. Is there  a white chocolate theme going on up here in the Highlands? 

Premierships measured in scones

We’ve actually had a few other Dornoch scones at Gordon House and Dornoch Castle but back, when we were last here in late 2017, we were contemplating how many more scones we could write before Theresa May’s eventual demise. She was definitely on a shaky peg at that time but nevertheless she lasted longer than expected largely because there was no one of any merit to follow her. Boris Johnson amply proved that point by following her! Likewise he lasted longer than expected because there still wasn’t anyone of merit in the Tory party but eventually he became too much an embarrassment even for them. He was followed by Liz Truss and we only managed to write one scone before she was out on her ear after a couple of weeks. She will always be remembered as the proud owner of that record … One Scone Liz.

A scone at Greens at the CourthouseOur scone fell into the weird scone category but was really good. Even Pat, definitely sceptical at first, ended up heaping praise on it. She wouldn’t normally contemplate anything to do with cherries. I always have to eat the cherry on top of her empire biscuits. That’s fairly typical of the hardships we endure together. A topweird scone was eventually awarded … well done Greens at the Courthouse.

We paid for our scone contactless but can’t wait to pay for them in smackeroonies! 

IV25 3SD       tel: 01862 811241        Greens at the Courthouse

///slacker.estuaries.flipping

 

Ordinary, Scones

Delivino

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Today we are at Delivino in Auchterarder but normally you would find us at its sister restaurant, Canada Wood. It’s only a short walk from our house. They also have the original Delivino in Crieff which opened in 2006. It’s always a good sign when you see restaurants like this expanding. Usually, it means they’re getting things right.Logo of Delivino, Auchterarde
 
We like Canada Wood and have reviewed it three times but so far a topscone has eluded them. This Auchterarder venture opened in 2014 so maybe they would be better here? Their blurb says they “champion the sound food philosophy of Spain, Italy and southern France” … no mention of scones? However, they do have a lovely selection of wines from all of these countries.
 
Wonky Scottish weather
You know you are in Auchterarder, home of Gleneagles Hotel, when you look down the street and every second parked car is a Range Rover, many with horse boxes attached. At Delivino we were welcomed in out of the rain which, so far, had been making the day very Scottish. Having said that the weather for November, has been unusually mild. Not quite t-shirt weather but definitely unseasonably warm. COP27 in Egypt is supposed to restore our weather to it its normal Scottishishness but so far all we have heard is the usual platitudes they trotted out last year at COP26 in Glasgow. In the meantime it looks like Scotland, for the foreseeable future, might become more Mediterraneanish. “Taps aff”, all year?
 
A scone at Delivini, AuchterarderAfter an absolutely delicious lunch we had ordered a fruit scone to share. It came with two plates. Always good when you don’t have to ask for another plate when you are sharing. Cream, however, wasn’t and option and the jam was English and the butter was Irish?? We won’t bore you with our comments about that, you already know! The scone itself was actually very good but considering everything else, it definitely fell short of a topscone.
 
Internal view of Delivino, Auchterarde
Records broken left right and centre
We are now on our third Prime Minister this year! They should fit No10 with a revolving door! Hopes were high that it would be third time lucky but no. This government is proving to be just as chaotic as the previous ones. In a previous post from the Cross Keys in Kelso we said Suella Braverman was the shortest serving  Home Secretary ever. She managed to get sacked for security breaches after just 43 days. That claim has since been overtaken by Grant Schapps who managed only six days before being replaced by, you’ll never guess … Suella Braverman. In the past week she has managed to make over three thousand immigrants vanish into tin air from the Manston processing centre. What a woman!
 
Gavin Williamson  lasted almost two weeks as Minister without Portfolio (is that really a job?). He had already been sacked by both Boris Johnson and Theresa May. Liz Truss would probably have hired him and sacked him as well if she had held her post as PM long enough.  In spite of sacking him, Boris gave Gavin a knighthood … brilliant! And the former Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, is now in the Australian jungle munching witchetty grubs … business as usual at Westminster then!
Topnotch

Okay the scone at Delivino wasn’t quite topnotch but everything else was. We are looking forward to visiting the Crieff venue in the not too distant future.

PH3 1DF      tel: 01764 660033       Delivino

///demand.continued.tokens

Ordinary, Scones

Cafe Tiki

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Logo of the Sensory CentreYou know how it is … you drive past a place on a regular basis and every time you do you think “I wonder what that place does?” but you never actually make the effort to find out. That’s how it was with this place, Forth Valley Sensory Centre. Barely half a mile from where we live yet it was a complete mystery. Logo of Cafe TikiThe name, of course, kind of suggests help for those with impaired senses but it doesn’t give that much away. Today we decided to find out what it was all about.From the main road you don’t see that much of it but it’s actually quite big and very modern. And to top off our surprises, it has a cafe, Cafe Tiki … excellent!

Wellbeing

The Centre provides services for those who are deaf or hard of hearing as well as those who are blind or partially sighted. It also seems to provide services across a huge area including Clackmannanshire and Stirling. It has over 30 groups, classes and activities  to improve the wellbeing of folks with compromised sensory conditions. They’ve even got a Sensory Garden but the weather today meant it wasn’t a day for exploring that. Technically there is nothing wrong with our senses. We know that many of you might disagree with that but we did wonder, in these circumstances,  what sort of reception we would get. No problem, we were welcomed with open arms. Under interrogation though we did confess to an excessive-fondness for scones. And that’s when they directed us their scone treatment centre … Cafe Tiki.Internal view of Cafe Tiki

It was mid afternoon and it was about to close so we had the whole place to ourselves. We were looked after by a very friendly lady (she was from Glasgow so, of course, she was friendly) who informed us that there was only one single scone left.Scones at Cafe Tiki “That’ll do” we said “we’ll share it“. She disappeared behind a screen and before you could say Jack Flash she was back with the scone. It was already divided into two and loaded with jam and cream … argh! Not to worry, the intention was good. And it wasn’t as if she could give us another one.

Cooking blind

We sat at a table adjacent to the counter and our lady proceeded to chat to us the whole time we were there. She informed us that one of their chefs is deaf and completely blind. Can’t really imagine that! We were quite enjoying our scone but she said that someone else baked them. This was not a topscone by quite a way but we really enjoyed being here and finding out about all these valuable services.

During the course of our cafe chat we did at least learn how to ask for the essential accoutriments for a scone in sign language.Sign language at the Sensory Centre

Prime Ministers in record numbers

Perhaps, since this is a sensory centre we should have mentioned our rather painful sensitivity to recent political news. Could they desensitise us? Too late, the news has just come in that  Rishi Sunak is to  be the next British PM. There have been 58 British Prime Ministers … three of them have been in the last seven weeks. At this rate we might even reach 100 by the 2024 General Election. External view of Cafe Tiki

Of course, Rishi is merely leader of the Conservative Party at the moment. In true British obfuscatory style, there’s only one man in Britain that can appoint a new PM. That’s King Charles III and  Sunak will be his first. In her 70 years on the throne the Queen had 15 Prime Ministers but, unbelievably, the way things are going, Charles could beat that record.  Unless Keir Starmer can nobble the King, or Liz refuses to come out of the cupboard under No10’s stairs, Rishi should be PM by tomorrow.  He will be the 10th conservative PM in a row that Scotland hasn’t voted for… isn’t that great!Internal view of the Sensory Centre

Perhaps the value of the Sensory Centre is best summed up by one of the volunteers “it gets me out of the house and allows the person that I am picking up to get out as well. When they turn around to me and say they’ve had a great day, it makes my day knowing I have helped”.

FK1 4DD          tel: 01324 590888          Sensory Centre

///sofa.move.tweezers

Ordinary, Scones, weird

Cross Keys Hotel

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Since we are here at the Cross Keys Hotel in Kelso, we thought we should talk about keys. Have you ever wondered why so many pubs and hotels are called the Cross Keys? Well, apparently it’s all to do with the keys to the kingdom of Heaven and crossed keys were the emblem of St Peter. Doubtless, for many of the customers of these places, it would feel like the closest to heaven they would ever get. Though why Heaven should need keys in the first place raises all sorts of other questions. But one thing is for certain! Whoever receives the keys to No 10 Downing Street in the next few days will be receiving the keys to Hell. Not sure why Hell would actually need keys either but you catch our drift.

Logo of the Cross Keys Hotel, KelsoSomeone let Liz out of the cupboard under the stairs and that signalled the end of her 44 day reign as Prime Minister. The shortest tenure in history for any British PM. It came as no surprise to anyone and many would say it wasn’t short enough. We know the brand new Chancellor, who has been in post for just a little more than a week has the keys to No 11 but no idea who will have them next week. 

All this follows Suella Braverman’s resignation. You’ll remember Suella was the only woman on earth who could make Priti Patel seem warm and cuddly. Anyway, at 43 days she became the shortest ever serving Home Secretary. Realising that Liz’s government was in terminal decline she actually manufactured her own sacking.  What a mess!  “You couldn’t make it up“, is no longer merely a flippant remark. To make matters worse Boris Johnson is threatening a glorious return. Boris won’t need keys!  In true Boris style he undoubtedly had copies made before he left Downing Street in the full and certain knowledge (in his own delusional head) that he would be back.Internal view of the Cross Keys Hotel, Kelso

Lucky dip

We think they should just take all the keys and put them in a hat for a lucky dip. Since things couldn’t get any worse It would seem only fair that, the now famous iceberg lettuce that outlasted Liz, is allowed a go at the lucky dip as well.

Take it or leave it

A scone at the Cross Keys Hotel, KelsoAnyway we mustn’t go on about about this too much … or should we? No, let’s get on to matters of more substance …. scones. We arrived at the impressive Italianate Cross Keys Hotel quite late in the day. Guess what, they were sold out of all scones except white chocolate. Not exactly what we would have chosen however white chocolate it had to be. Kelso has survived remarkably well through the ages in spite of continuous wars with England. The hotel was the resting place for pilgrims coming to the Abbey so it  suffered badly in 1545 during the “Rough Wooing” when the English blew it up.  Subsequently the hotel became a coaching inn that ran services to Newcastle and Edinburgh three times a week.

Market Square, Kelso
View of The Square from the Cross Keys

The white chocolate scones were surprisingly nice, we were very pleasantly surprised. Not topscones in the style of Schloss Roxburghe but enjoyable nevertheless. By the time you get our next scone report we will have a new leader and maybe even an entirely new government team. Fingers crossed for the lettuce!

TD5 7H.       tel: 01573 223303          Cross Keys

///harps.answer.nutty

english, Ordinary, Scones

The Terrace Cafe

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When we booked into Schloss Roxburghe the idea was that it would allow us to explore part of Scotland that we did not know at all well. And guess where we’ve ended up … in ENGLAND!! No idea how we got here to the Terrace Cafe in Wooler but presumably, in the course of negotiating all these little picturesque country lanes, we crossed the border without realising. Imagine how difficult the border is going to be when Scotland gains its independence and there are armed guards everywhere! At least the Romans built walls to dissuade folks from coming too far north but now there isn’t even a signpost?

Tit for tat

Toilet notice at the Terrace Cafe, WoolerThis part of the UK, however, is well used to incursions in both directions and not all of them unintentional. Back in 1595, the Scottish Laird of Cessford, Andrew Kerr, raided Wooler and took all the parson’s sheep. The parson was in London at the time. Because the local constabulary seemed reluctant to help, he mounted his own retaliatory raids on Cessford’s sheep. It all got a little out of hand and  on one raid Cessford’s men ended up murdering two Wooler men as well as a third from nearby. The parson fled but the family of the third man raided north and ended up killing Cessford’s shepherd. This sort of jolly cut and thrust pretty well sums up the relationship between England and Scotland since the beginning of time … but more of that later.

Internal view of the Terrace Cafe, Wooler

In the 12th century Wooler was described as “situated in an ill-cultivated country under the influence of vast mountains, from whence it is subject to impetuous rains.” A scone at the Terrace Cafe, WoolerThese ‘vast mountains’ seem more like lovely rolling hills to us and the village itself is pretty with lots of cafes and antique shops. All the tables on the terrace at the Terrace Cafe were taken so we went inside.  A  nice warm welcome even though the lady seemed to be on her own and looking after everything.

Because we overindulged earlier on a somewhat abundant breakfast we decided that a coffee and a scone to share would be quite sufficient. It came with jam and the usual Rodda’s clotted cream. Clumsy Goat coffee cupThe accompanying Clumsy Goat Coffee was definitely a new one on us. It was all very welcome and really quite nice but some distance away from a topscone. Wooler is definitely worth a visit but don’t ask us how to get there. 

Tragedy

Afterwards, we spent a very pleasant afternoon wandering round the village before making a move back to Scotland. We took a different route back and quite unexpectedly came on the site of the Battle of Flodden. It took place in 1513. Earlier we were describing light heartedly the cross border raids that have been going on for centuries however this one was pretty serious.

The Flodden monument erected in 1910 inscribed TO THE DEAD OF BOTH NATIONS

Casualties were huge. It ended with the death of 10,000 Scots including Scotland’s king and 5,000 Englishmen. Tragic from any point of view.

At the foot of the hill in Branxton village we found the smallest visitor centre in the world. It was located in a Glasgow built K6 phone box.

It was an interesting and thought provoking day. However, once we returned to be mollycoddled  with local beers and cocktails at Schloss Roxburgh we completely forgot all about it. Now we know why toffs never seem to have a conscience. 

NE71 6LQ       tel: 07758 838250     The Terrace Cafe FB

///armrests.runners.follow

ps: Liz Truss has been released from the cupboard under the stairs. Fortified by her scone we gifted her,  she is now promising to lead the Conservatives into the next General Election. Yeah, right … not on Planet Reality, Liz!

Scones, Top, totallyeffinbrilliantscone

Schloss Roxburghe

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This post heralds a scone which could rival Fonab Castle for the best scone in the world award. It’s here at Schloss Roxburghe … isn’t that exciting! However, maybe not as exciting as the state of British politics at the moment. So let’s get that out of the way first.

Internal view of Schloss Roxburghe
Entrance hall
Walking the plank

A  lot has happened since our previous  post from Alfies. The country has been brought to its knees by the current clueless resident in No 10.  Meanwhile in No 11, Kami Kwasi Kwarteng has fulfilled his destiny even earlier than expected. News of the sacking of our third Chancellor in as many months, for some reason, got us pondering about walking the plank. When you think about it, what a weird procedure that was!

View from 14th tee at Schloss Roxburghe
The 14th tee on the championship golf course with the Roxburgh viaduct and the River Teviot

A bit like Kwasi, the luckless man is not simply thrown overboard … that would be too kind.. Rather it is turned into some sort of macabre ceremony where he is specially flown back from the US to find he no longer has the keys to No 11, the home he and his family have only just moved into. Mind you, ever since he got the job of doing Liz Truss’s bidding he must have known he would run out of plank quite quickly. He has been replaced by Philip Hammond, who is actually the new de facto Prime Minister. Liz is being kept in a locked cupboard under the stairs at No 10. Two short planks are being selected for her as we speak. Actually they will require a small forest to provide enough planks for all those Conservatives who voted her into power in the first place!

Efficiency
Portrait of child with hoop
Who needs an iPhone 14 when you can have one of these?

We are constantly impressed by the way Prime Ministers and Chancellors move into and out of Downing Street. These days they must ask themselves if it is actually worthwhile sitting down. It’s almost magical the way the furniture removal business works in Downing Street. It seems to flow seamlessly … at least something in the UK still works the way it should! But that’s enough about all this nonsense, you all just want to know about Schloss scones, don’t you? By the way, it is owned by a German company these days and that’s the only explanation we can give for the name. They are currently adding another 58 rooms, an outdoor swimming pool and spa as well as building 50 rental cottages in the grounds. No shortage of business here!

The Age of Reason

If you ever fancy staying in a Schloss we can thoroughly recommend Schloss Roxburghe. Simply remortgaging your home will just about cover the costs.

Portrait of the Duke of Roxburghe
Duke of Roxburghe

It used to be the home of the Duke of Roxburghe but he must have felt a bit cramped. He moved to nearby Floors Castle which has 7,000 rooms. Imagine cleaning that lot every day? This place, however, dates back to the 12th century when it was known as Sunlaws. They still have a Sunlaws restaurant. In1745, Bonnie Prince Charlie stayed the night as the guest of Lady Chatto before he set off into England with his army in a bid to regain the throne for his dad. The 18th century was known as the Enlightenment or the Age of Reason … we wonder how historians will label the present day … the Age Without Reason? Anyway, back then, for one night this place was host to one of Europe’s most romantic historical figures … and now, equally romantic, the scone hunters are here! 

Internal view of Schloss Roxburghe
A drawing room
Relentless

This is the sort of place where your expectations are raised when you are quarter of a mile down the driveway and you still can’t see where you are to be staying. Arrival doesn’t disappoint either with a warm welcome at reception. There are open log fires in almost all the public rooms. After our long drive we were very ready for a scone. From the venues offered we chose the drawing room and settled into a lovely bay window seat. Scones at Schloss RoxburgheOur scones were beautifully warm and wrapped in linen napkins to keep them that way … fab!  

Like we said at the beginning these scones could rival our gold standard at Fonab Castle. They were super crunchy on the outside – you almost had to crack them open like a boiled egg. The centres were wonderfully soft and fluffy. There was a plain and a fruit one for each of us and it all came complete with generous bowls of clotted cream and jam. The problem now is, we haven’t reviewed Fonab for quite a while so we will have to return to check that they are maintaining standards. Phew, this sconing business is relentless!

Suffice to say that Schloss scones are certainly on a par with Fonab scones until proven otherwise. We might even get them to slip one under the door of Liz’s cupboard, we feel a bit sorry for her … just a wee bit!

TD5 8JZ           tel: ‭01573 450331        Schloss Roxburghe

///marinated.wriggled.greeting

 

Scones, Top

Alfie’s

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Back in 2015 we spent some time at the rather isolated Ardanaiseig Hotel on the southern shores of Loch Awe. As blogging newbies we had one of our formative scone experiences there. Sitting in front of a large open log fire with toasted scones and pots of tea … heaven! Ardanaiseig is owned by Bennie Gray who also owns Alfie’s Antique Market here in Marlebone in the heart of London. It’s where we are today. He called it Alfie’s after his father. Ardanaiseig had lots of quirky features and this place is no different, in fact it’s the very essence of ‘quirky’.Items for sale at Alfies Antique Market

Winter Hag of Death and Darkness

But first, have you ever wondered how Loch Awe came to be there? Wonder no more!

Loch Awe from Ardanaiseig Hotel
Loch Awe from Ardanaiseig Hotel

There’s a magic well high above Ardanaiseig on Ben Cruachan where a beautiful goddess called Beithir used to bathe every evening.  By doing so she preserved her glorious good looks but one night it all went wrong. She forgot to replace the capstone … argh! The well overflowed down the mountainside and formed the loch we know today. As punishment she was banished by the gods, cursed with immortality and transformed into the ancient Winter Hag of Death and Darkness. Her cold hard voice still echoes around the snow filled corries of Ben Cruachan and beyond. The Winter Hag of Death and Darkness is rarely seen but oddly there have been several reported sightings recently. Actually, they’ve all turned out to be Liz Truss, however, you can understand the confusion.Items for sale at Alfies Antique Market

Alfies is housed in an Art Deco building and is spread over four floors. A picture at Alfies Antique MarketIf you are looking for something unusual and quirky to decorate your home, chances are you will find it here. It’s a fascinating place to walk round though a bit confusing with lots of little stairs leading off in all sorts of directions. Jewellery and lighting seem to be a speciality. There’s also an indoor pond full of carp and water lilies. You don’t get that everywhere! Soon, of course, all this perusing takes its toll and sustenance is required.Rooftop. cafe at Alfies Antique Market

The cafe is called the Kitchen on the Roof and that’s where we ended up. Lovely to sit out on a beautiful day in October. The only problem was wasps. They were a real nuisance and eventually they drove us indoors.Rooftop. cafe at Alfies Antique Market

Huge smiles

We are being looked after by a lady who had the biggest smile imaginable. She was so happy and seemed delighted to be working there. It makes such a difference. A scone at Alfies Antique MarketOur lunch was fantastic and seemed incredibly good value. Omelette and chips … £4, homebaked scone with jam and cream … £3, pot of tea … £1.60 and so on. Seven years ago we awarded Ardanaiseig Hotel a topscone and although there was no open log fire here we decided that our overall experience was good enough to do the same here. Well done Alfie’s.A picture at Alfies Antique Market

Progress?

Spending a day surrounded by beautiful works of art does make you wonder in astonishment at the state of the world today. For all our supposed technological sophistication it seems that the only way to settle arguments is to destroy everything and kill lots of people. This week we discovered that, with the help of DNA sampling, Homo sapiens are indeed related to the Neanderthals. They used the same methods for disputes but surely we should have progressed a wee bit in the intervening 40,000 years. Let’s have another scone!

NW8 8DT        tel: 020 7723 6066     Alfies Antiques

///reef.fancy.sheets

ps: our Utah  correspondents have been in touch. Not to report on scones in Utah (do such things exist?) but to send photos of scones encountered on the North Antrim Cliff Hike in North Ireland. They had already completed the John Muir Way in Scotland.Cafe Cova and Large Lodge scones

They said that both these scones were very good however Laragh Lodge definitely came out in first place. Congratulations go to them for completing the hike and for taking time out to send these pics.

Ordinary, Scones

Blair Castle

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Everyone should have a river running through their garden, don’t you think? The Duke of Atholl has 145,000 acres so he probably has several. To join the aristocracy you need do nothing more than be in the right place at the right time, then monarchy can shower you with all sorts of gifts … like large parts of Scotland. Mind you the 1st Duke of Atholl seems to have been a sensible sort of chap. He opposed the Act of Union in 1707 and, for daring to have an opinion, was promptly placed under house arrest. However, if you are going to be placed under house arrest there are definately worse places than Blair Castle … it’s more “castle arrest’ really.

ballroom at Blair Castle
The ballroom … everyone should have at least one of these

Much has happened since our previous post from Hickety Pickety Tearoom. Most momentous was the Queen’s death. She did a great job of bring up a family and saying absolutely nothing while under the microscope of the world’s media. And it was fitting that she died at Balmoral, where she was actually happy. 

Intimidation
a corridor at Blair Castle
An antler corridor

Her funeral  went on interminably. Even the food banks had to close. If the principal aim of monarchy is to intimidate then this certainly worked. The greatest display of white male privilege ever witnessed by mankind. There wasn’t a single world leader there who thought that they were going to get anything remotely like this as a send off.  Britain does it again with an incredible show of nonsensical pomp. But who, in this day and age are we trying  to intimidate?

Will we, won’t we?

With King Charles III ascending the throne surely now is the time for countries like Canada and Australia to realise that they need one of their own to be Head of State. Okay, Canada likes monarchy to differentiate it from their rather common cousins to the south, but still, your all grown up now,  Perhaps, like Denmark has just done, all Royal children should be stripped off their titles so that they can actually lead normal lives like the rest of us? However, the big question is, will Scotland give the Stone of Destiny back so that Charles can be crowned? Maybe not a BIG question but a question nevertheless.

drawing room at Blair Castle
a drawing room

Goodness, you can’t turn your back for a minute, we have a new government as well. Not so much a ‘new’ government, just a continuation of the old one but worse. Don’t think anyone thought that was even possible! Liz Truss, thrashing around, making it up as she goes along, hoping she can last to the next General Election and plunging the country into its worst economic crisis for almost fifty years. Brilliant! Bring back Boris …. joke!

Private army
painting at Blair Castle
This is how I feel after a good scone.

But enough of this nonsense, did they have scones at Blair Castle? Well, yes they did! We are actually taking part in our first ever coach trip . woohoo with the Falkirk Local History Society and this was our first stop before heading further north. Going round the castle is a bit like being in IKEA … it’s a one way system. And just as well. It would be very easy to get lost otherwise. The current Duke of Atholl  got fed up getting lost so he now lives in South Africa. He still has his own private army here in Scotland … the Atholl Highlanders …  isn’t it great!restaurant at Blair Castle

Locusts

There was also the alternative of going round the rather splendiferous gardens. The Hercules Garden  is lovely … everyone should have one of these as well, but we concentrated on the castle. a scone at Blair CastleAt the end we all met up again and descends on the restaurant like the proverbial locusts. Scones were laid out on tiered plates for all …. yeah! You can probably imagine that the sudden influx of more than fifty people at one time might create a few problems … and it did. Nothing too serious though and we were all soon kitted out with everything we needed. They were very fresh and crumbly and although we did swither on topscone status, they eventually just missed the cut. A good time was had by all so what does it matter? Definitely worth a visit … especially if you want to see all the things you don’t  have

entrance hall at Blair Castle
Aristocracy is also all about intimidation of lesser mortals so this entrance hall may have been a reminder to guests that they had better behave.

PH18 5TL.    tel: 01796 481207        Blair Castle

///oldest.tagging.magazines

Scones, topweird

Hickety Pickety Tearoom

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Logo of Hickety Pickety TearoomYou know how sometimes you go into a restaurant and the staff can be downright indifferent. We tend to judge places on the attitude staff have towards their customers. Who see customers as their raison d’être rather than some dastardly inconvenience. So, having said all that, when we entered the Hickety Pickety Tearoom we were immediately greeted with a huge hug and a kiss from one of the waitresses. Okay, we knew her. She’s a kind of honorary daughter. We used to worry that her car seat was too big when she came to stay with her sister during the school holidays. Then we’d worry it was too small and now she doesn’t need a car seat at all. She’s at university and driving her own car. Goodness, how did that happen?

Internal view of Hickety Pickety Tearoom
Downstairs
Head in the clouds

We had heard that she was working here so we thought we should pay a visit. Hickety Pickety is a wonderful place situated on a farm not too far from Lanark. Although not far from Falkirk it’s a strangely unknown part of the world for us. It’s about a mile from the village of Forth whose main claim to fame is that Scotland’s tallest man (7 foot 3 inches) came from there. It’s also 1000 feet above sea level so he could well have had his head in the clouds.

Internal view of Hickety Pickety Tearoom
Upstairs
What’s in a name?

Why is it called Hickety Pickety, we hear you ask! Well it comes from a well known nursery rhyme.

Poem of Hickety Pickety Tearoom
Some say that the rhyme was originally about a lady of ill repute so we’ll say no more

It was busy so we were shown to a table upstairs. Not one of our ‘daughters’ table but that wasn’t a problem, all the serving staff were really nice. They have to be extremely fit  because they are up and down these stairs all day like the proverbial yo-yos. We ordered some lunch and when we asked what kind of scones they had were told “plain or pear and ginger“. It had to done – a pear and ginger scone to share. Turns out that they do a lot of pretty adventurous scone baking so we may have to return to see what else they come up with.

A scone at Hickety Pickety TearoomWhen it arrived, however, it did not look too promising. It came with butter, jam and the ubiquitous Rodda’s clotted cream. Nothing against it per se but why get it from a Dutch owned company in Cornwall when there’s plenty of good Scottish cream. You all know by now that we like a slight crunchiness to our scones but this one was incredibly soft all over. Thankfully it was absolutely delicious. The pear flavour was quite distinct and the ginger gave it a soupçon of spiciness. So soft it was difficult to keep it together … topweirdscone, no problem. Thoroughly recommend this place but be warned, not everyone gets hugs and kisses.

In the toilets at Hickety Pickety Tearoom
Revolting

We’ve kind of lost count of the number of Tory Prime Ministers we’ve had over the past few years. Deluded as ever about his own importance, Boris failed to recognise that he won a huge majority, not because of anything he did but because there was no opposition worth voting for. He was at Balmoral today to hand in his resignation to a relieved Queen.

New girl, the ever so slightly mad, Liz Truss, was there as well to take on the mantle of government. Given that the role of most governments is simply to give the people just enough to keep them from revolting, Liz is going to have to pull some rabbits out of the hat if she wants to stop that happening. At the moment, there’s a lot of extremely unhappy people around. She says “What you see is what you get“. Well, that’s a pity! Luckily, like Boris, she has  no opposition  to speak of. If she wants she can wreak whatever havoc she wants on the country. It’s just our daughters and honorary daughters that will have to sort it all out.

ML11 8NZ       tel: 01555 871486        Hickety Pickety FB

///streaking.retire.winters        

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Kitchen

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After our previous visit to the Soup Dragon near Balfron today we are in a very different place, the Kitchen in Poole. About as far away from The Soup Dragon as you can get without leaving the UK. However, Poole is the most haunted town in Dorset … so spirits of a different kind perhaps. None of that for us today though. Poole Park which opened in 1890 is the place for us. It is over 100 acres of open parkland with lovely gardens and even a saltwater lagoon … fab!

Internal view of the Kitchen in Poole Park

Sharing again

The Kitchen is at its centre and provides sustenance for many of the parks users. It has a large restaurant area as well as an outdoor waterside terrace. There’s also Scoops ice cream parlour. It seems to have everything but what about scones? Yes, there was, fruit and plain! A scone at the Kitchen in Poole ParkWe had had lunch elsewhere so it was just a fruit scone to share and some tea. Sharing was a great idea because neither us wanted to finish even the half that we had. They were fairly obviously shop bought and probably not bought this week judging by the rather stodgy texture. Ah well, you can’t win them all! Shame though, because everything else on offer is probably very good and it’s a great facility for the park.The terrace at the Kitchen in Poole Park

Hanging by a thread

One of the benefits of staying down here with family is that there is not much time for news. So no rants this time you might think. Well no, when we do get a glimpse it’s the same old, same old. The BBC interviewing innocent passers-by about the cost of living. Typically it goes like this “You’re already struggling to make ends meet and now the government says that cost increases will double over the next few months. How do you feel about that?” What? Are they really expecting someone to say “Oh, I’m absolutely delighted“. And yet they go on doing it … endlessly. And, now it appears that their ‘Director of Impartiality’ is a died in the wool Tory, surprise, surprise! Our BBC licence fee is hanging by a thread.

Incomprehensible

The current cost of living crisis is incomprehensible.  Britain is, to a large extent, self sufficient in energy  and the same goes for wheat, yet we are told it’s all the fault of the Ukraine war.  Our energy costs are to go up 200% … in France it’s 4%. Scottish energy producers have to pay massive amounts of money to feed into the grid yet producers in the south get paid massive amounts to do exactly the same?? Could it all be caused by nothing more than systems designed and developed by the wealthy to make themselves even wealthier? Surely not?

Incomprehensibler

Meanwhile we are assuming that the lightweights vying to become the next PM are still arguing about everything. Liz Truss, still the Foreign Secretary but with ambitions to become a mini Boris, saying that she doesn’t know if the French are friend or foe while simultaneously dumping tons of raw sewage into the English Channel. And Sunak is about as far away from the man in the street as its possible to get. One of them will soon be running the country because 0.2% of the population voted for them. Fantastic! 

Two K6s in Poole Park
Two K6s in Poole Park. One made in Falkirk (on the right) and the other in Kirkintilloch

Anyway, the cost of living crisis doesn’t show too much down here but, of course, it is one of the wealthiest areas outside of London. Still can’t produce a topscone though!

BH15 2SF          tel: 01202 742842           The Kitchen

///notice.sleep.motor