After our previous visit to the Soup Dragon near Balfron today we are in a very different place, the Kitchen in Poole. About as far away from The Soup Dragon as you can get without leaving the UK. However, Poole is the most haunted town in Dorset … so spirits of a different kind perhaps. None of that for us today though. Poole Park which opened in 1890 is the place for us. It is over 100 acres of open parkland with lovely gardens and even a saltwater lagoon … fab!
Sharing again
The Kitchen is at its centre and provides sustenance for many of the parks users. It has a large restaurant area as well as an outdoor waterside terrace. There’s also Scoops ice cream parlour. It seems to have everything but what about scones? Yes, there was, fruit and plain! We had had lunch elsewhere so it was just a fruit scone to share and some tea. Sharing was a great idea because neither us wanted to finish even the half that we had. They were fairly obviously shop bought and probably not bought this week judging by the rather stodgy texture. Ah well, you can’t win them all! Shame though, because everything else on offer is probably very good and it’s a great facility for the park.
Hanging by a thread
One of the benefits of staying down here with family is that there is not much time for news. So no rants this time you might think. Well no, when we do get a glimpse it’s the same old, same old. The BBC interviewing innocent passers-by about the cost of living. Typically it goes like this “You’re already struggling to make ends meet and now the government says that cost increases will double over the next few months. How do you feel about that?” What? Are they really expecting someone to say “Oh, I’m absolutely delighted“. And yet they go on doing it … endlessly. And, now it appears that their ‘Director of Impartiality’ is a died in the wool Tory, surprise, surprise! Our BBC licence fee is hanging by a thread.
Incomprehensible
The current cost of living crisis is incomprehensible. Britain is, to a large extent, self sufficient in energy and the same goes for wheat, yet we are told it’s all the fault of the Ukraine war. Our energy costs are to go up 200% … in France it’s 4%. Scottish energy producers have to pay massive amounts of money to feed into the grid yet producers in the south get paid massive amounts to do exactly the same?? Could it all be caused by nothing more than systems designed and developed by the wealthy to make themselves even wealthier? Surely not?
Incomprehensibler
Meanwhile we are assuming that the lightweights vying to become the next PM are still arguing about everything. Liz Truss, still the Foreign Secretary but with ambitions to become a mini Boris, saying that she doesn’t know if the French are friend or foe while simultaneously dumping tons of raw sewage into the English Channel. And Sunak is about as far away from the man in the street as its possible to get. One of them will soon be running the country because 0.2% of the population voted for them. Fantastic!
Two K6s in Poole Park. One made in Falkirk (on the right) and the other in Kirkintilloch
Anyway, the cost of living crisis doesn’t show too much down here but, of course, it is one of the wealthiest areas outside of London. Still can’t produce a topscone though!
This post from the Isle of Eriska Hotel is from June 2019. Eriska is small but perfectly formed. The same could not be said for Theresa May who had just announced that she was standing down as Prime Minister after a disastrous year. The race to replace her between Bojo and Jeremy Hunt was just beginning.
It had been some time since we had posted on the blog so we had to begin with a kind of half-hearted apology.
Okay, okay, it’s been a while since the last post. We know that most of you view us purely as one-dimensional scone munchers however there is much more to us than that. “Deep and diverse” could easily describe us if you squidged up your eyes and gave us the benefit of a lot of doubt. We’ve been busy with other things … okay?
Controversy 1
The UK is beset by controversy at the moment … Bojo’s brush with the law after a rammy with his bidey-in, for one. Then there are the even more controversial photos of him all loved up with the same bidey-in the following day.
Controversy 2
So, far be it from us to heap more controversy on a public already struggling to cope. It has to be asked, however … when is an island not an island? This question
The Isle of Eriska bridge
has beset the Isle of Skye since they built the bridge. It even begs the question – is Great Britain an island since they built the Chunnel? The reason for it being so topical is simply that today we are on the Isle of Eriska and it also has a bridge! We were about to tackle the management with the Trades Descriptions Act when our cream teas arrived and completely distracted us.
Pat sitting outside the conservatory
The 300 acre Isle of Eriska is situated at the entrance to Loch Creran on Scotland’s west coast. The ‘big house’ was built in 1884 by the Stewarts of Appin and designed by Hippolyte Blanc who also designed Jenners in Edinburgh’s Princes Street. Since 2016 it has been managed by the same Inverlochy Castle Management Company that looks after Andy Murray’s Cromlix House.
Fly pasts
Our cream teas were served to us in the sunshine at a table in front of the conservatory. Where else on a day like today? Needless to say, the little titbits that accompanied our scones were soon beginning to melt … and so were we! We were able to sit long enough however to have a flypast by a kestrel, an eagle-owl and a Harris hawk. A young Belgian/German couple were being shown the intricacies of hawking and we were also the beneficiaries. Where else do you get a hawking lesson with your scones? Readers can probably guess that awarding a top scone to this place was not exactly difficult. The service, the presentation and the scones themselves were all excellent.
We might possibly be persuaded to take up golf here .. if we had absolutely nothing better to do
Otters
There is more to this place than scones, however. A spa and swimming pool are there if you need extra pampering. There’s squash courts, a golf course and clay pigeon shooting if you feel energised by your scone. We felt sufficiently energised to take a walk to the north end of the island where we sat on the beach in complete silence. Not even the distant murmur of a car engine or indeed anything. We didn’t even see another human being in our entire walk. It was as if we had the entire island to ourselves. The shrill cry of an oystercatcher once broke the peace and quiet but that was all. A short onward stroll around the shore took us to Otter Point but there were no otters. There must be an otter reason for it being called that … sorry!
We cannot fault this place. Warmly welcomed by everyone, we spent a good part of the day here and didn’t even part with as much as £20. Next time though we will come and stay and that might cost a bit more.
Clarity
We feel that politicians should be banned from using phrases such as “let me make this absolutely clear”. They all use it with monotonous regularity and still no one has a scooby about what’s going on .. including them! Luckily, the extravagant promises being flung around with gay abandon by both contenders for the Tory leadership don’t actually matter. After all the Great British public don’t get a say in who will be their next Prime Minister … democracy, UK style!
View from the Deck restaurant towards the hills of Morvern
As far as the ‘island’ controversy goes we have decided that, since Eriska has always been accessible by foot at low tide, the bridge makes little difference. In other words, it doesn’t matter … but you knew that already.
ps: In Eriska village (the hotel’s staff quarters) on the mainland side of the bridge we came across this K5 telephone box. It wasn’t working but it was made in Falkirk. As such, it is the first K5 we have found from our home town. The other one we found at the Bay Hotel was from the Lion Foundry in Kirkintilloch. There are only 54 K5s registered as still being in existence in the UK but we doubt that this one is registered.
Austerity
Boris Johnson, when asked where the money is coming from for his multi-billion pound spending plans says that the cash is there and that austerity is not the answer. This, from the man whose government for the past decade has been saying exactly the opposite and rubbishing anyone who disagreed. Many of the problems we are currently facing with COVID-19 in the NHS and education are a direct result of that austerity. We wonder if Boris is surprised at what comes out when he opens his mouth?
What border?
Scotland has managed the coronavirus situation much better than England so now, with it flaring up again in the south, there’s talk of health checks at the border. That’ll be the same border that many Westminster MPs say doesn’t exist?
ISLE OF ERISKA SHED
A tiny island so not a lot of sheds. This one is for clay pigeon shoots
This coronavirus Kinloch Castle repost is from July 2017. We were visiting what is known as the Small Isles and today it was the turn of the Isle of Rùm. Back then Theresa May was Prime Minister but had lost all credibility and power. Unfortunately, she was the only one who hadn’t realised and was still grimly hanging on like a dog with a bone. At least she started off with some credibility which is more than can be said for the present incumbent. Bitchy or what?
You wouldn’t think that this, one of the remotest Scottish islands, would have much in common with the Black Lives Matter movement but you would be sooo wrong. It illustrates, perhaps better than anywhere else in the world, just how much money could be made off the back of the slave trade. Okay, back to 2017!
Another beautiful day and this time we are on the Isle of Rùm. From where we are staying on Eigg, Rùm dominates the view from almost everywhere. Before we go further, perhaps a little background info on Rùm is called for. Many moons ago the island had a population of around 450 but in 1826, the owner loaded 300 on to the ships, Highland Lad and the Dove of Harmony, and sent them to Canada. The following year the rest of the population were dispatched on the good ship St Lawrence along with 150 from the Isle of Muck which he owned as well.
A local shepherd related “The people of the island were carried off in one mass, forever, from the sea-girt spot where they were born and bred... The wild outcries of the men and heart-breaking wails of the women and children filled all the air between the mountainous shore of the bay“.
Just deserts
The people were replaced with what was seen to be more profitable sheep. But the whole enterprise failed when the owner declared bankruptcy about twenty years later and ended up in a worse state than his previous tenants … just deserts, maybe?
Approaching Rum on the Sheerwater ferry
Alligator ponds
More recently the island was owned by the Bullough family who made their fortune in Accrington from manufacturing machinery for the cotton industry. They wanted to turn the island into their own private playground and sporting estate. George Bullough built Kinloch Castle in 1900 using stone brought from the Isle of Arran. He didn’t scrimp. Fourteen under-gardeners, who were paid extra to wear kilts, worked on the extensive grounds that included a nine-hole golf course, tennis and squash courts, heated turtle and alligator ponds and an aviary including birds of paradise and humming birds. 230,000 tons of soil for the grounds was imported from Ayrshire and figs, peaches, grapes and nectarines were grown in greenhouses.
Party central
The interior boasted an orchestrion that could simulate the sounds of brass, drum and woodwind, an air-conditioned billiards room, and a jacuzzi. It even had electricity and flushing toilets when these things were almost unheard of on the mainland. Kin
the entrance hall to the castle
loch became party central for the aristocracy and the shenanigans that occurred there became the stuff of legend and drove a massive rumour mill into a state of near hysteria. They renamed the island “Rhum” because Bullough did not like being called the “Laird of Rum”. The island was eventually bought by Scottish Natural Heritage and currently has a population of around 30. In the last couple of years, SNH has arranged for land and assets around the village of Kinloch to be transferred to the community giving individuals control over their own destinies. Let’s hope it is as successful as a similar venture on Eigg.
Crisps??
The tearoom on Rùm is in the village hall just next to the castle. We asked for a scone but they said they only had cherry cake. Faced with Hobson’s Choice we agreed to have a piece of cake with our coffee. When we made our way outside to sit in the sunshine we were regaled with the news that they didn’t actually have any cherry cake. Would we like a packet of crisps?? The lady, seeing our disappointment, said that she could have given us a piece of chocolate cake but she hadn’t had time to put the icing on it. Eventually, she agreed to let us have a piece of plain chocolate cake. It was very nice.
Plain chocolate cake
Apologies, we would have loved to have brought you a Rum scone. They do know when the ferries come in (there must have been at least 60 people on ours) so it is not as if a sudden influx comes as a surprise. Difficult to explain such a situation. Hey ho, chocolate cake it had to be!
Just to ease your disappointment, however, we can provide some pictures of a lovely K6 telephone box we came across. It was made in the Lion Foundry, Kirkintilloch and used for growing geraniums. It is in a stunning location and has a lifebelt and an anchor decorating its exterior. Could be in line for the prettiest K6 award … unless you know better, of course?
While we were having our uniced chocolate cake we met a lovely couple from Yorkshire. We met them again on the ferry going back to Eigg. When we asked them why they had nettles sticking out of their bag they said they were making a ‘holiday cord’. They did it with nettles from all the places they had visited. And you thought we were mad! In another attempt to make up for the dearth of scones we offer you a pictorial guide to nettle chordage.
A demonstration of nettle cording on the ferry back to Eigg
Chordage instructions
First, you remove the leaves (unless you are some sort of masochist, use gloves). Then split the stem with your nail or other similar implement. Throw away the internal woody bit then let the outer fibrous sheaths dry for a wee while before twisting as pictured. Your cord can end up as long as you like by carefully pleating all the stems together. It ends up very strong. By the way, Pat got a Sea Eagle and some kittiwakes to add to her bird list. Very happy girl again.
Skye across the Sea of the Hebrides, black Cuillin in the middle, red Cuillin to the right
Seventh scone
Theresa May is still hanging on! This is our seventh scone post since the election and she is still there. Almost admiring her tenacity … or is it just sheer stupidity? Don’t let the dire scone situation put you off visiting Rùm. It is quite simply spectacular. Maybe by the time you get there, they will have got themselves sorted out with scones! Don’t forget your nettles. Hopefully we will have better luck on the romantically named Isle of Muck.
PS: Our Trossachs correspondents decided that in order to celebrate Father’s Day and our Four Hundred milestone they would bake some scones. Apparently this was the first time this century they had donned their aprons. They used the Royal recipe from the Royal Garden Party post. The scones were reported as being absolutely delicious. They certainly look delicious and beautifully presented with flowers, fantoosh teapot and all. How the other half live! Well done.
BREAKING: The £5.36 I have been carrying around in my pocket for months has changed. It is now £6.36! Don’t ask, I have no idea, it must just be gaining interest!
This Post May Contain Rants. We thought we should make that clear at the start for people of a sensitive disposition.
Purely by some fluke of circumstance we have ended up here at the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor Centre. We’ve been here at the site of the battle many times before but never bothered to go into the visitor centre. Today was different, however, it was pouring with rain. It was so heavy that we couldn’t get a decent photo of the outside of the building. It’s pretty ugly, however, so you’re not missing much. That could be the first rant. Why has such an iconic site got an ugly grey box for a visitor centre?
The second is about the signage. The Battle of … What? It has been so over designed it is barely decipherable. Considering that most folk coming here are foreigners this seems to add an unnecessary level of complexity to their understanding of what went on here. We see it all over the place. It’s the triumph of academia over common sense.
Borders
Of course the Centre celebrates the Battle of Bannockburn in 1314 between England and Scotland. It does beg the question of why there was an English army just outside Stirling in the first place. Okay, okay, Scotland has never been the easiest of neighbours … we’re a bit rough! Our national flower is not the jaggy thistle for nothing. Our bagpipes have not been declared a ‘weapon of war’ for nothing. Even wearing tartan has been seen as provocative … but still! We think that after Brexit, when an independent Scotland has rejoined the EU, instead of a wall along the border, we should have a leylandii hedge and then England can fight with us over what height it should be. It would help maintain a long tradition between difficult neighbours.
Robert the Bruce’s victory, of course, led to the Declaration of Arbroath which set Scotland up as a proud self respecting and independent country. Most importantly it declared that the independence of Scotland was the sole prerogative of the people of Scotland. A few centuries later, however, it all went pear shaped. A “parcel of rogues” in the form of a handful of Scottish aristocrats sold Scotland down the river in exchange for English gold. Scotland became the only country in the world to be ruled by another … as it still is today. Thankfully this sorry state of affairs is about to come to an end when, hopefully, within the not too distant future, the people will reassert their right to self determination and Scotland will be independent again … FREEDOM! Apologies, got a little bit carried away there.
Footnotes
This ranting about independence is all well and good but what about the important stuff … the scones, did they have scones.? Yes they did! It’s a little known fact but a footnote in the small print of the Declaration of Arbroath (as a small concession to the defeated English) states “if ever there be a visitor centre established at Bannockburn it must sell little packs of English butter from Wiltshire with the scones” And so it came to pass! There was no cream but our fruit scones came with said butter as well as jam that you dolloped on your plate from a large bowl at the servery.
spot the fruit
It reminded us of how many cafés in Norway serve jam with their fabulous boller. Unfortunately these scones were very disappointing. They just did not taste right … as if something was missing. The fruit was certainly missing.
Kitsch
scottish tat
Something is missing from this Visitor Centre as well. Hard to put your finger on it but it could easily be much much better. They have the usual assemblage of tartan tat as well as a large display of Hollywood kitsch in the form of plastic props from the Outlaw King film … what’s that all about? That was the last rant. Don’t get us started on Boris. Just remember that although he doesn’t have a clue where he is taking the UK, it will all be great! Smile be upbeat, that will do the trick. Last rant … promise
The Pedant has just sent this picture of a brace of K6s at Knightsbridge Green in London. Both from the Lion foundry in Kirkintilloch and one of which is still fully functional. Many thanks.
Okay, okay, it’s been a while since the last post. We know that most of you view us purely as one dimensional scone munchers however there is much more to us than that. “Deep and diverse” could easily describe us if you squidged up your eyes and gave us the benefit of a lot of doubt. We’ve been busy with other things … okay?
The UK is beset by controversy at the moment … Bojo’s brush with the law after a rammy with his bidey-in, for one. Then there’s the even more controversial photos of him all loved up with the same bidey-in the following day.
The Isle of Eriska bridge
So, far be it from us to heap more controversy on a public already struggling to cope. It has to be asked however … when is an island not an island? This question has beset the Isle of Skye since they built the bridge. It even begs the question – is Great Britain an island since they built the Chunnel? The reason for it being so topical is simply that today we are on the Isle of Eriska and it also has a bridge! We were about to tackle the management with the Trades Descriptions Act when our cream teas arrived and completely distracted us.
Pat sitting outside the conservatory
The 300 acre Isle of Eriska is situated at the entrance to Loch Creran on Scotland’s west coast. The ‘big house’ was built in 1884 by the Stewarts of Appin and designed by Hippolyte Blanc who also designed Jenners in Edinburgh’s Princes Street. Since 2016 it has been managed by the same Inverlochy Castle Management Company that looks after Andy Murray’s Cromlix House.
Fly pasts
Our cream teas were served to us in the sunshine at a table in front of the conservatory. Where else on a day like today? Needless to say the little tit bits that accompanied our scones were soon beginning to melt … and so were we! We were able to sit long enough however to have a fly past by a kestrel, an eagle-owl and a Harris hawk. A young Belgian/German couple were being shown the intricacies of hawking and we were also the beneficiaries. Where else do you get a hawking lesson with your scones? Readers can probably guess that awarding a top scone to this place was not exactly difficult. The service, the presentation and the scones themselves were all excellent.
We might possibly be persuaded to take up golf here .. if we had absolutely nothing better to do
Otters
There is more to this place than scones however. A spa and swimming pool are there if you need extra pampering. There’s squash courts, a golf course and clay pigeon shooting if you feel energised by your scone. We felt sufficiently energised to take a walk to the north end of the island where we sat on the beach in complete silence. Not even the distant murmur of a car engine or indeed anything. We didn’t even see another human being in our entire walk. It was as if we had the entire island to ourselves. The shrill cry of an oystercatcher once broke the peace and quiet but that was all. A short onward stroll round the shore took us to Otter Point but there were no otters. There must be an otter reason for it being called that … sorry!
We cannot fault this place. Warmly welcomed by everyone, we spent a good part of the day here and didn’t even part with as much as £20. Next time though we will come and stay and that might cost a bit more.
Clarity
We feel that politicians should be banned from using phrases such as “let me make this absolutely clear”. They all use it with monotonous regularity and still no one has a scooby about what’s going on .. including them! Luckily, the extravagant promises being flung around with gay abandon by both contenders for the Tory leadership don’t actually matter. After all the Great British public don’t get a say in who will be their next Prime Minister … democracy, UK style!
View from the Deck restaurant towards the hills of Morvern
As far as the ‘island’ controversy goes we have decided that, since Eriska has always been accessible by foot at low tide, the bridge makes little difference. In other words, it doesn’t matter … but you knew that already.
ps: In Eriska village (the hotel’s staff quarters) on the mainland side of the bridge we came across this K5 telephone box. It wasn’t working but it was made in Falkirk. As such, it is the first K5 we have found from our home town. The other one we found at the Bay Hotel was from the Lion Foundry in Kirkintilloch. There are only 54 K5s registered as still being in existence in the UK but we doubt that this one is registered.
The last time we were at Forest Hills was back in August 2016. Britain was still reeling from the result of the Brexit referendum, David Cameron had vanished into thin air and the Tories were desperately trying to save their party. Not a lot has changed. Back then, however, we had the media and the politician’s favourite distraction … the Olympics. The masses enter a kind of stupefied state where nothing else really matters. While we were at Forest Hills, Team GB had famously beaten Team Vanuatu in the hop,skip and jump event. As we leave the EU this Friday we need another momentous moment like that to distract us from impending disaster. It’s not really a disaster, life will go on, it’s just that we rather like being European. Infinitely preferable to being British with our arcane systems of government.
Ah well, even if we could arrange an Olympics or even a Commonwealth Games before Friday we would have to let everyone beat us … at everything! Otherwise they might not trade with us! And, after we leave Europe, we might be dependent on Vanuatu for goodness sake!
Correspondents
Anyway, you are all very familiar with our international network of correspondents by now. They expand our sconological research to parts that we simply cannot reach. Sometimes the odd telephone box creeps in as well. Our Trossachs correspondents, of course, are amongst the most adventurous. They could pop up in Gibraltar or Lithuania or Basseterre or Argentina or even 38,000 feet up in the air … there is simply no telling. Today, however, they are back in their natural habitat. They have invited us to help celebrate their wedding anniversary in Kinlochard. We were staying in the hotel but the celebrations were being held in the village hall. While we were waiting for the festivities to begin we thought we should check that scone standards had not slipped since our previous review.
We were relatively early so had the whole lounge to ourselves. Sitting in front of a wonderful log fire our beautifully warmed scones were presented with lots of jam and a generous pot of whipped cream complete with strawberry. What’s not to like? The tea and coffee were all excellent and the scones were just the right size with that lovely crunchy outer and fabulous soft inner. Delighted to report that Forest Hills has indeed retained its topscone award … well done! Of course, we would expect no less from a ‘MacDonald’ Hotel.
Gluten free?
Later, along with about fifty other revellers we had a fabulous evening of eating and drinking with music supplied by the excellent Chapter Four folk band. When it came to the ceilidh, suffice to say that many willows were stripped with all the usual sophisticated aplomb accorded to that particular dance. Back at the hotel, we retired to bed, happy but exhausted. Next day, however, saw us at the village hall again. This time it was to partake of scones …. gluten free scones, another first for us. Oh, dear, two scones in as many days! They had been made specially by a local lady who has a gluten free diet. Delicious but, of course, we couldn’t make an award … there’s no way for readers to access them.
Great way to round off the weekend’s celebrations though and for everyone to say their farewells. Congratulations and huge thanks to our super generous hosts. When they come down off cloud nine we hope they remember to get back to their sconey day jobs.
Farewell to Europe
‘Farewell to Europe’ (should be a lament for the bagpipes) is probably not going to happen on Friday. At least we don’t think it will actually happen on that day … who knows, nobody knows, it might, it might not? It’s like the UK has decided to commit suicide but can’t make up its mind how to do it! It wouldn’t be so bad if it just hurt us but it could also wreck the Irish economy and potentially start ‘the troubles’ all over again. That’s bad! Hopefully, what with all the delays, they will eventually realise that suicide isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
ps: We are always keen to promote new correspondents and were delighted to receive this report from our rookie ‘wildlife correspondents’. They venture into all sorts of out of the way places in pursuit of flora and fauna. Hence they found themselves in the Balmoral Hotel in Edinburgh having afternoon tea when their fledgling sconological urges kicked in and drove them to file their first report.
Although they did not feel sufficiently qualified to formally award a topscone they, nevertheless, could not imagine a scone being any ‘topper’. A very promising start, our rookies showing definite potential. Many thanks L&R. We will, of course, endeavour to deliver an official verdict. That is once we have saved up enough to enter the Balmoral’s hallowed halls.
pps: The Pedant has just filed a report on this somewhat delapidated Lion Foundry K6 in Oxford. It goes under the What3 Words code of ///loved.lonely.vivid which rather belies its appearance and its location in the centre of the city. He didn’t say if it was operational but it looks like it may have been used to relay instructions to the Oxford team in the boat race last Sunday.
What a guy, what a hero, what a romantic! He had just seen off the Vikings at the Battle of Largs. Now, here he was riding from Edinburgh to Kinghorn on a dark stormy night to be with his wife on her birthday the following day. The Milk Tray Man would have been proud.
The Alexander III monument near Kinghorn where he died on 18 March 1286
Birthday celebrations
It was not to be, however. His horse fell and he was found dead on the shore the following morning. Alexander III, the last Celtic King of Scots had been advised that the ride from Edinburgh was too dangerous. But would he listen? All Alexander’s three children died young so he left no heirs. The period of instability that followed would eventually lead to war with England. Oh no, not again! When Alexander died Queen Yolande was left waiting in Kinghorn having a memorable birthday for all the wrong reasons. Out of respect for her husband she would not have been sampling scones here at the Bay Hotel. We were however! Not out of disrespect you understand, just plain necessity!
Cream teas
After an exhilarating walk through the rocks and along the sand dodging plummeting witches (more of that later), we were in need of refreshment. We had spotted the Bay Hotel from the beach so we made our way there. It’s a strange kind of place. Probably set up to cater for the huge caravan park that surrounds it. It has a leisure centre with a beautiful swimming pool but we were only looking for one thing … and it wasn’t a swim.
A fruit scone was no problem but when we inquired about cream they asked if we would prefer a cream tea . A cream tea it was. The terrace looking over the river towards Edinburgh on the far shore was very tempting. However, lovely day as it was, still the middle of January so we opted for inside. The restaurant was obviously designed to cater for a multitude rather than just us and one or two others. A little bit soulless. Although not a topscone we thoroughly enjoyed it. We should have sat outside though … the Vikings would have!
Suffice to say that we had a much more enjoyable day in Kinghorn than Queen Yolande.
New profession
We came to Kinghorn for a walk along the beach at Pettycur. It’s all rather beautiful, especially on a day like today. However, we were not that far from the Clock Tower Café in Pittenweem where attentive readers will remember the fate of poor Janet Cornfoot. Yes, this is that part of Scotland where, at one time, all women must have lived in fear of their lives. Hard to imagine that this little town gave rise to a brand new profession … witch-pricking! The holders of these witch-pricking jobs, usually the local clergy, were responsible for inserting long wires into alleged witches in search of pain sensitivity and the presence of blood?? They were also responsible for interpreting the results. Let’s hazard a guess. If they found no blood and no sensitivity to pain, that would indeed have been a witch. Probably didn’t work like that though. There are several causes for experiencing cialis levitra generico the problem of erectile dysfunction. Therefore these treatments cialis pills australia are generally prescribed before the intercourse only. This lack of sexual health among is of impotence or erectile dysfunction that is found in vast majority in America and also other parts of the world. http://icks.org/n/data/ijks/1482461222_add_file_7.pdf levitra ordering 20mg levitra canada When men that have no sex drive and no penile erections are treated with cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy. Vie from the Bay … Arthur’s Seat in the middle distance
Kinghorn was a centre for witchcraft trials so most of the skilled witch-prickers were based there. As we walked along the beach we could look up at the ring inserted in the cliff face to which witches were chained and burned. If leniency was being shown they were only half burned before being thrown to their deaths while still chained to the ring. The sudden stop snapped them in half.
Many of these witches were accused of meeting with the Devil and, in most of those allegations, the Devil was disguised as a man. Goodness, surely not? Anyway, in 1644, Katherine Wallenge was the last poor woman to be treated in this vile manner. Consequently, all witch-prickers became redundant. Except? No it couldn’t be! We wonder if a modern form of witch-pricking has been resurrected in Westminster.
Return of the witch-prickers
Theresa May must feel a bit like Katherine Wallenge with all her colleagues sticking it to her. However, when it comes to Brexit, Theresa’s mantra that only her deal can deliver the Brexit that ‘the people’ voted for overlooks one vital fact. The people didn’t vote for some highfalutin deal with the satanic EU. Based on the garbage they had been fed by the politicians and media they just wanted OUT… simple! So unless she delivers a hard Brexit she will have failed to deliver what ‘the people’ voted for. “Stop all this silly bickering and get on with it” is what they would say. Of course it would result in the biggest act of self-harm in recorded history. Not exactly sure how they would measure it but we can almost see the Guinness Book of Records folk gathering surreptitiously in the background.
You’ll never guess what we found round the back of the Bay Hotel. Please don’t ask why we were round there. Yes, you’re right, a K8 telephone box. The K7, like the K5 never made it into production so the K6 which we all know and love was followed, in 1968, by the K8. Made entirely of cast iron, about 11,000 were produced. Now there are only 54 registered as still in existence. Wonder if this one is registered? It was in bad shape but was still proudly wearing the Lion Foundry badge. Okay, okay, we really do need to get a life. While we are on the subject The Pedant has kindly sent a photo of a fully functioning K6 in Stow-on-the-Wold. Made in Falkirk … yeagh, quality!
What a beautiful day to be in this part of the world. As we drove down from the Rest And Be Thankful with our ears popping it was great to suddenly come upon the open expanse of Loch Long. And, even better, the possibility of a scone in Arrochar village on the opposite shore. On previous visits we have gone to the Arrochar Tearoom but this time we decided to go a little further on and try the 3 Villages Café which is right on the loch side. The view from the café towards the mist covered crags of Ben Arthur, better known as the Cobbler, is pretty good.
Confusion
When the Arrochar and Tarbet Community Development Trust bought the Pit Stop Café they renamed it the 3 Villages Café. Its Post Office, it was intended to serve three local villages.Unfortunately it has all the hallmarks of a community run project where no individual is actually taking overall responsibility. Although the locals may still call it by its old name ‘the Pit Stop’ the signage is confusing for tourists. It should be one or other. There also seemed to be no explanation as to why it was called the 3 Villages. We could only think of two. When we asked the answer was Succoth, Arrochar and Tarbet.
We’re not exactly strangers to these parts but even we had never heard of Succoth. It’s a collection of forestry houses at the head of the loch, which we had always assumed was simply part of Arrochar. Heyho, you live and learn but still a bit confusing for visitors.
Not doing the job
The café simply needs someone to cast a fresh eye over it. Empty the overflowing ashtray at the door, remove the weeds and litter from the outside seating area etc. A few minutes work would improve the look of the place immeasurably. When we pointed these things out to the very pleasant and friendly staff the answer was “oh, but we have someone who does that for us“! Well obviously they aren’t doing it! Anyway, we hoped that our scones would help improve on first impressions but no, it wasn’t to be. There was nothing particularly wrong with them but nothing particularly right either.
Torpedos
There are too many things wrong here, especially for tourists which is annoying because it has great potential. Needs to get its act together. Anyway, in our previous post we mentioned the Skelmorlie Mile and contemplated the potential need for its resurrection in the face of Britain’s increasingly belligerent attitude to our friends and neighbours in Europe. Twelve months of negotiations have produced absolutely zilch so maybe the old torpedo testing centre in Arrochar will need to be resurrected as well? History teaches us that Britain has been at war with many countries over the centuries. However, call us slow on the uptake if you like. We have suddenly realised that Britain only ever goes to war with countries that simply won’t do as they are told. Watch out EU!
ps: If you have been enjoying the lack of telephone box news recently … sorry ! In our travels we came across this one near Ardlamont on the southern tip of the Cowal peninsula. It’s quiet round here, we drove for about 40 minutes and only met one other car. By the looks of this Lion foundry K6 the last people to have used it may have been involved in what was to become one of Scotland’s greatest murder mysteries.
Not proven
On August 10, 1893 one Cecil Dudley Hambrough was shot dead in a nearby wood, only a stone’s throw from this kiosk. Although his tutor, John Monson, was almost certainly the guilty party, because of a lack of evidence, the verdict at the time was the peculiarly Scottish one of ‘Not Proven’. Neither guilty or innocent. Nevertheless, Madam Taussauds in London placed a waxwork of Monson at the entrance to the Chamber of Horrors. Monson was enraged and after a court case was awarded damages of one farthing (£0.0001).
libel by innuendo
The case of Monson vs Taussauds, however, established the principle of “libel by innuendo” and is still used around the world in defamation cases. Not a lot of people know that! Great what you can learn from scones and telephone boxes!
Can’t actually remember the last time we were in North Berwick but it was certainly some years ago. On this visit, if it wasn’t for the fact that we know better, we would say that everyone in town was more than a little devious, Machiavellian even. You know who you are! But that’s another story.
North Berwick itself is a lovely little seaside town with lots of art galleries, craft shops, restaurants and cafes. It consists almost entirely of rather grand Victorian houses and is surrounded by golf courses. To top it all off, not content with one beach, North Berwick has two. It was called North Berwick to distinguish it from South Berwick (now Berwick-on-Tweed) which, at one time was in Scotland.
In the 16th century the town was a hotbed of witchcraft. More witches being tried here than anywhere else. One Agnes Sampson was accused of making a potion which made the seas rough for King James VI and his new wife, Anne of Denmark on their return voyage to Scotland. In 1591 she was tortured until a confession was obtained then burned at the stake. Thankfully there’s not so much of that sort of thing going on these days. At least we did not see anything like that on our visit.
Surf boards
The tiny Buttercup Cafe is in the centre of town and has just a four tables and a serving counter. The predominant decor is surf boards. Now although the waves just a few meters from the door were definitely big enough for surfing the temperature, at a smidgen above freezing, definitely was not … brrrr! The welcome here though was very warm and we were soon kitted out with a fruit and a plain scone and offered a wide range of jams to go with them. They were nicely presented and each scone came with a generous pot of clotted cream. What’s not to like? Nothing as it happens but we eventually decided that, wonderful as they were, the scones were not quite topscones … shame.
What’s happened to Brexit?
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p.s. This K6, constructed in the Lion Foundry, Kirkintilloch was found at the west end of the High Street in North Berwick. It had been converted for use as a cash machine but retained an outside telephone … for very small people??
Another beautiful day and this time we are on the Isle of Rùm. From where we are staying on Eigg, Rùm dominates the view from almost everywhere. Before we go further, perhaps a little background info on Rùm is called for. Many moons ago the island had a population of around 450 but in 1826, the owner loaded 300 on to the ships, Highland Lad and the Dove of Harmony, and sent them to Canada. The following year the rest of the population were sent on their way on the St Lawrence along with 150 from the Isle of Muck which he owned as well.
A local shepherd related “The people of the island were carried off in one mass, for ever, from the sea-girt spot where they were born and bred... The wild outcries of the men and heart-breaking wails of the women and children filled all the air between the mountainous shore of the bay”.
Just deserts
The people were replaced with what was seen to be more profitable sheep but the whole enterprise failed when the owner declared bankruptcy about twenty years later and ended up in a worse state than his previous tenants … just deserts, maybe?
Approaching Rum on the Sheerwater ferry
Alligator ponds
More recently the island was owned by the Bullough family who made their fortune in Accrington from manufacturing machinery for the cotton industry. They wanted to turn the island into their own private playground and sporting estate. George Bullough built Kinloch Castle in 1900 using stone brought from the Isle of Arran. He didn’t scrimp. Fourteen under-gardeners, who were paid extra to wear kilts, worked on the extensive grounds that included a nine-hole golf course, tennis and squash courts, heated turtle and alligator ponds and an aviary including birds of paradise and humming birds. 230,000 tons of soil for the grounds was imported from Ayrshire and figs, peaches, grapes and nectarines were grown in greenhouses.
Party central
The interior boasted an orchestrion that could simulate the sounds of brass, drum and woodwind, an air-conditioned billiards room, and a jacuzzi. It even had electricity and flushing toilets when these things were almost unheard of on the mainland. Kin
the entrance hall to the castle
loch became party central for the aristocracy and the shenanigans that occurred there became the stuff of legend and drove a massive rumour mill into a state of near hysteria. They renamed the island “Rhum” because Bullough did not like being called the “Laird of Rum”. The island was eventualy bought by Scottish Natural Heritage and currently has a population of around 30. In the last couple of years SNH have arranged for land and assets around the village of Kinloch to be transferred to the community giving individuals control over their own destinies. Lets hope it is as successful as the similar venture on Eigg.
Crisps?
The tearoom on Rùm is in the village hall just next to the castle. We asked for a scone but they said they only had cherry cake. Faced with Hobson’s Choice we agreed to have a piece of cake with our coffee. When we made our way outside to sit in the sunshine we were regaled with the news that they didn’t actually have any cherry cake … would we like a packet of crisps?? The lady, seeing our disappointment, said that she could have given us a piece of chocolate cake but she hadn’t had time to put the icing on it. Eventually she agreed to let us have a piece of plain chocolate cake. It was very nice. cialis on line icks.org The Don’ts: Expect to have an automatic erection There are a number of anti ED medicines in the world. Low blood pressure level means that the force behind the blood in the blood stream is lower than what it icks.org tadalafil 20mg tablets should be. Results show that pulsatile tinnitus caused more problems to bought this levitra no prescription its patients than continuous tinnitus. Smoking is truly done by burning some tobacco and inhaling the smoke and sildenafil levitra exhales the resultant.
Apologies, we would have loved to have brought you a Rum scone. They do know when the ferries come in (there must have been at least 60 people on ours) so it is not as if a sudden influx comes as a surprise … difficult to explain such a situation. Hey ho, chocolate cake it had to be!
Plain chocolate cake
Just to ease your disappointment, however, we can provide some pictures of a lovely K6 telephone box we came across. It was made in the Lion Foundry, Kirkintilloch and used for growing geraniums. It is in a stunning location and has a lifebelt and an anchor decorating its exterior. Could be in line for the prettiest K6 award … unless you know better, of course?
While we were having our plain pieceof chocolate cake we met a lovely couple from Yorkshire. We met them again on the ferry going back to Eigg. When we asked them why they had nettles sticking out of their bag they said they were making a ‘holiday cord’. They did it with nettles from all the places they had visited. And you thought we were mad! In another attempt to make up for the derth of scones we offer you a pictorial guide to nettle chordage.
A demonstration of nettle cording on the ferry back to Eigg
Chordage instructions
First you remove the leaves (unless you are some sort of masochist, use gloves). Then split the stem with your nail or other similar implement. Throw away the internal woody bit then let the outer fibrous sheathes dry for a wee while before twisting as pictured. Your cord can end up as long as you like by carefully pleating all the stems together. It ends up very strong. By the way, Pat got a Sea Eagle and some kittiwakes to add to her bird list. Very happy girl again.
Skye across the Sea of the Hebrides, black Cuillin in the middle, red Cuillin to the right
Seventh scone
Theresa May is still hanging on! This is our seventh scone post since the election and she is still there. Almost admiring her tenacity … or is it just sheer stupidity? Don’t let the dire scone situation put you off visiting Rùm. It is quite simply spectacular. Maybe by the time you get there they will have got themselves sorted out with scones! Don’t forget your nettles. Hopefully we will have better luck on the romantically named Isle of Muck.
We had had lunch elsewhere so it was just a fruit scone to share and some tea. Sharing was a great idea because neither us wanted to finish even the half that we had. They were fairly obviously shop bought and probably not bought this week judging by the rather stodgy texture. Ah well, you can’t win them all! Shame though, because everything else on offer is probably very good and it’s a great facility for the park.
