The unicorn is the national animal of Scotland. It’s a symbol of purity as well as being proud and untameable. Sounds about right! If you are very lucky you might see unicorns anywhere in Scotland but one of the best places to see them is Stirling Castle. It even has a Unicorn Cafe!

Argyles

Before we went to the cafe we visited the Regimental Museum of the Argyle and Sutherland Highlanders – the much feared ‘men in skirts’.  The castle is the spiritual home of the regiment which was formed in 1881 and then amalgamated into the Royal Regiment of Scotland in 2006. We spent some time going round and reading about all the battles in which they’ve been involved all over the world. At the end, however, we were left with the overriding impression that Britain has stuck its nose into all sorts of places where it really wasn’t welcome. Many thousands of soldier’s lives were sacrificed in the name of King and country but in reality the end game was always the same … maintaining the power of those at the top of British society … and enhancing their wealth.

In spite of us humans being pretty spectacular in so many ways in other ways we’re absolutely awful. Considering our time on earth is but a fleeting moment you would think that there would better things to do with these moments than simply killing other people just like ourselves. Luckily, just as the dark clouds of depression were looming ever closer we remembered there would be scones at the Unicorn Cafe … hurrah! Yes, we are unbelievably shallow.

Oversized

The cafe is run by a company called Benugo. We reviewed their Cafe by Benugo in Glasgow six years ago. Not too impressed then and we still aren’t! We thought everything was very expensive, especially for a self-service cafe. One tourist was informed that the hot food would arrive in half an hour. Presumably to replace the rather sorry assortment on display. You even have to clear your own table? Normal practice for us but we don’t usually expect to have to do it!

On the plus side we did had some soup and bread which was very nice. However, almost £6 for a scone with jam and cream was a surprise. The scone itself was quite nice but huge and, as you know,  we’re not keen on oversized scones. It was shared between us but even then we couldn’t finish it all. The overall experience at the Unicorn Cafe was disappointing, nowhere near a topscone.

From the 1100s onwards the story of Stirling Castle is really one of a continuous confrontation between England and Scotland. Over the centuries the castle has been occupied by opposing forces many times. Ironically, in 1502 James IV signed the Treaty of Perpetual Peace with England. It lasted all of eleven years until Scotland declared war on England in support of France … heyho,he tried!

 Up to 1603, Scotland’s Coat of Arms featured two unicorns either side of a shield. Later it had only one unicorn and a lion on the other side to represent the strength of England. 

Fly to France

Before it became a military base Stirling Castle was a Royal Palace.   Mary Queen of Scots was crowned here in 1543 aged nine months and lived here until she was five. A few years earlier in 1507 her grandfather, James IV, had employed an Italian alchemist with the idea of turning any old scrap metal into gold. With continuing failure rumours inevitably circulated that he might be fraudulent. He desperately needed to prove that he did indeed possess wondrous powers. He decided to fly to France from the ramparts of the castle using wings made from eagle feathers. Unfortunately, eagle feathers were in short supply so he used chicken feathers instead. He plunged straight down into the castle cess-pit and miraculously escaped with nothing but a broken leg. Should definitely have used eagle feathers!

No Netflix

There is an area on the ramparts called the Ladies Lookout. It enabled the ladies of the castle to watch their husbands gallop around in the park below killing deer, foxes and probably anything else that moved. Exciting viewing considering there was no Netflix back then!

We do have Netflix, however, so when we got home we decided to settle down and watch the BAFTA award winning epic “All Quiet On The Western Front”. Set in WWI it follows German troops in trench warfare against the French. Amazingly it was only made possible because of Lesley Paterson, from Stirling. She bought the rights to the book with her winnings as a triathlete and ended up co-producing the film. It’s an amazing production but goodness, it’s not an easy watch. It should, however, be compulsory viewing for the likes of Putin and any others preoccupied with warmongering.

Did you know?

Baby unicorns are called “foals” but sometimes they are known as “sparkles”. 

FK8 1EJ     Tel: 01786 450000     Unicorn Cafe

///caked.sorry.bids