Tag Archives: Kwasi Kwarteng

Schloss Roxburghe

This post heralds a scone which could rival Fonab Castle for the best scone in the world award. It’s here at Schloss Roxburghe … isn’t that exciting! However, maybe not as exciting as the state of British politics at the moment. So let’s get that out of the way first.

Internal view of Schloss Roxburghe
Entrance hall
Walking the plank

A  lot has happened since our previous  post from Alfies. The country has been brought to its knees by the current clueless resident in No 10.  Meanwhile in No 11, Kami Kwasi Kwarteng has fulfilled his destiny even earlier than expected. News of the sacking of our third Chancellor in as many months, for some reason, got us pondering about walking the plank. When you think about it, what a weird procedure that was!

View from 14th tee at Schloss Roxburghe
The 14th tee on the championship golf course with the Roxburgh viaduct and the River Teviot

A bit like Kwasi, the luckless man is not simply thrown overboard … that would be too kind.. Rather it is turned into some sort of macabre ceremony where he is specially flown back from the US to find he no longer has the keys to No 11, the home he and his family have only just moved into. Mind you, ever since he got the job of doing Liz Truss’s bidding he must have known he would run out of plank quite quickly. He has been replaced by Philip Hammond, who is actually the new de facto Prime Minister. Liz is being kept in a locked cupboard under the stairs at No 10. Two short planks are being selected for her as we speak. Actually they will require a small forest to provide enough planks for all those Conservatives who voted her into power in the first place!

Efficiency
Portrait of child with hoop
Who needs an iPhone 14 when you can have one of these?

We are constantly impressed by the way Prime Ministers and Chancellors move into and out of Downing Street. These days they must ask themselves if it is actually worthwhile sitting down. It’s almost magical the way the furniture removal business works in Downing Street. It seems to flow seamlessly … at least something in the UK still works the way it should! But that’s enough about all this nonsense, you all just want to know about Schloss scones, don’t you? By the way, it is owned by a German company these days and that’s the only explanation we can give for the name. They are currently adding another 58 rooms, an outdoor swimming pool and spa as well as building 50 rental cottages in the grounds. No shortage of business here!

The Age of Reason

If you ever fancy staying in a Schloss we can thoroughly recommend Schloss Roxburghe. Simply remortgaging your home will just about cover the costs.

Portrait of the Duke of Roxburghe
Duke of Roxburghe

It used to be the home of the Duke of Roxburghe but he must have felt a bit cramped. He moved to nearby Floors Castle which has 7,000 rooms. Imagine cleaning that lot every day? This place, however, dates back to the 12th century when it was known as Sunlaws. They still have a Sunlaws restaurant. In1745, Bonnie Prince Charlie stayed the night as the guest of Lady Chatto before he set off into England with his army in a bid to regain the throne for his dad. The 18th century was known as the Enlightenment or the Age of Reason … we wonder how historians will label the present day … the Age Without Reason? Anyway, back then, for one night this place was host to one of Europe’s most romantic historical figures … and now, equally romantic, the scone hunters are here! 

Internal view of Schloss Roxburghe
A drawing room
Relentless

This is the sort of place where your expectations are raised when you are quarter of a mile down the driveway and you still can’t see where you are to be staying. Arrival doesn’t disappoint either with a warm welcome at reception. There are open log fires in almost all the public rooms. After our long drive we were very ready for a scone. From the venues offered we chose the drawing room and settled into a lovely bay window seat. Scones at Schloss RoxburgheOur scones were beautifully warm and wrapped in linen napkins to keep them that way … fab!  

Like we said at the beginning these scones could rival our gold standard at Fonab Castle. They were super crunchy on the outside – you almost had to crack them open like a boiled egg. The centres were wonderfully soft and fluffy. There was a plain and a fruit one for each of us and it all came complete with generous bowls of clotted cream and jam. The problem now is, we haven’t reviewed Fonab for quite a while so we will have to return to check that they are maintaining standards. Phew, this sconing business is relentless!

Suffice to say that Schloss scones are certainly on a par with Fonab scones until proven otherwise. We might even get them to slip one under the door of Liz’s cupboard, we feel a bit sorry for her … just a wee bit!

TD5 8JZ           tel: ‭01573 450331        Schloss Roxburghe

///marinated.wriggled.greeting