James Thomson Callendar Archives - Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Here we are again visiting my elderly aunt in Callander. We’ve got a nerve, she’s not that much older than us. The last time we were in this cafe, however, was three years ago and back then it was called Applejacks. Now its undergone a minor name change to Fat Jacks. Don’t know what that’s all about because it still looks pretty much the same.

Looking north up Loch Lubnaig — Loch Lubnaig from the Cabin. My cousin used to say there was the wreck of a plane on the hill on the left but I never knew whether to believe him or not

Square sausage

Our reason for being out and about was actually to visit the Cabin at Loch Lubnaig. When we used to travel this road every weekend going to Glencoe this was just a little lay-by with a litter bin as the only facility.

A few years back this café was built but because we were always on our way to somewhere else we have never stopped to investigate. We also realised that we would never stop there unless we made it our destination. So that’s why we ended up here. Just our luck, best laid plans and all that, it turned out to be just a serving hatch. No sitting in but lots of seats outside … and no scones …. argh! Heyho, it was a lovely day. We got a coffee and shared a roll and square sausage. We’ve been together many years now so Pat has got used to extravagant fine dining!

For a scone we had to backtrack to Callander, hence we ended up at Fat Jacks. Dedication or what? There were only cherry scones left so that simplified the decision making. They had obviously been baked as a large round then cut up in a triangular shape, a bit like a pizza. No cream or jam though. The lady behind the counter explained that the owners were trying to sell the place so there wasn’t a large selection of anything. And it had that kind of feel about it. The scone had plenty cherries and was nice enough but without the usual accoutrements it was never going to be a topscone.

Hells angels

Not to worry, it was lovely sitting in the sunshine watching the good folks of Callander going about their business. The general peace and quiet, however, was somewhat rudely interrupted by a gang of Hells Angels roaring into town on their Harley Davidsons. They parked right beside us in Ancaster Square and we watched with interest to see what would happen next. They took off their helmets and there wasn’t one of them below retirement age. Should have known … how else can you afford a Harley? They wandered off along the street … probably anxious to find a scone!

Progress ?

In our previous post from Applejacks you will doubtless remember us mentioning Scottish satirist James Thomson Callendar.

wind in Callander — This shop window might be better placed at Westminster

A couple of hundred years ago he published a book rather nattily entitled “The Political Progress of Britain or an Impartial History of Abuses in the Government of the British Empire in Europe, Asia and America since the Revolution in 1688 to the present time, the whole tending to prove the ruinous consequences of the popular system of Taxation, War and Conquest.” You’ve probably all read it by now but we wonder what he would have made of our progress since these days? Not much we suspect. Back then, however, he was obliged to flee the country for daring to criticise the government. No sense of humour or just unable to face the truth … you decide.

FK17 8ED tel: 01877 330370 Fat Jacks FB

///discussed.tungsten.marathon

Last time we were in the Perthshire town of Callander we were indulging ourselves at the Roman Camp Hotel. It is situated, would you believe it, on the site of a 1st century roman camp on the banks of the river Teith. It’s great, but definitely at the luxury end of the market. This time we were just here visiting an elderly relative. The town is oft’ referred to as ‘The Gateway To The Highlands‘ and certainly, when we were traveling north to Glen Coe every weekend in our youth, we never felt ‘away’ until we hit Callander.

In summer it is extremely busy so it is well endowed with cafés and restaurants to cater for throngs of tourists. We were attracted to Applejacks by the placard outside advertising our favourite coffee, the Cat’s Pyjamas from Henry’s Coffee Company. The café is a long narrow affair and we ended up going to the furthest point from the door where it seemed, for a moment, like we had gone too far. Nobody was speaking English. Indeed everyone was speaking very loudly in some indiscernible language. Not to worry our waitress was local and soon had us fixed up with a couple of scones. Pat chose plain and I went for apple and cinnamon. The café has a kind of trendy upbeat vibe and as well as great coffee they do a good range of savoury wraps and sandwiches.

Misdemeanours

Our scones were accompanied by pots of jam and clotted cream … all English, arrgghh! We have nothing against that, per se. However, tourists from England do not come all this way north to be served the same stuff they get at home. Since they say on their menu that they pride themselves on accessing local ingredients we pointed out this misdemeanour to the management. They took note! It had been a long time since an apple and cinnamon scone had graced my plate. This one served to reminded me of just how delicious they can be. Not made on the premises but, we were assured, made locally. Pat’s scone was good as well and provided a sweet counterpoint to the strong cup of Cat’s Pyjamas coffee. A winning combination … a topscone. Well done Applejacks!

Too and fro

In the 17th and 18th centuries Callander, like much of Scotland, was a hotbed of unrest. Almost all Scots vehemently opposed the Union in 1707 . To make matters even worse, deep rooted Jacobite sympathies abounded and Callander was no exception. The town’s location, however, made it an obvious choice for a military road. It would provide better access for the government’s armed forces in its aim to subdue the unruly Highlands.

Completed in 1743, ironically, the first army to use the new road was that of invaders. Bonnie Prince Charlie, moving south through Callander from Glenfinnan to Derby in the 1745 uprising. It must have been quite a sight as they passed by Ancaster Square where Applejacks is situated. A few months later of course, after the Battle of Falkirk in 1746, the flow was the other way as they headed back north where the disaster that was Culloden would eventually unfold.

Criticising the government

Over the following decade, with over 400 garrisons north of the border, Scotland would be comprehensively crushed. It became the colony it remains to this day. Also ironically, a few years later the town’s namesake, James Thomson Callendar published a book with the rather snappy title of “The Political Progress of Britain or an Impartial History of Abuses in the Government of the British Empire in Europe, Asia and America since the Revolution in 1688 to the present time, the whole tending to prove the ruinous consequences of the popular system of Taxation, War and Conquest.” For his criticisms of the then system of government, Callendar, accused of sedition, had been obliged to remove himself from Scotland and flee to America.

Foundations

Sounds like his book could well be pertinent even today. As our more fervent Brexiteers, the Goves and Rees Moggs, fantasise with their rose tinted glasses over the glory days of Empire it is perhaps worth remembering that the barbaric practices perfected in the ten years after Culloden formed the foundations of the Empire.

Customer distribution map of the world at Applejacks, Callander — a wall map showing the Applejacks empire of diverse customers

However this picturesque little town hides its more turbulent past rather well. And Applejacks is a great addition to its High Street.

FK17 8ED tel: 01877 330370 Applejacks FB

ps For some reason Pat laughed out loud at this notice in Applejacks.and some kind soul has knitted covers to keep the street bollards warm … magic, the world has not gone completely mad after all

Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Tag Archives: James Thomson Callendar

Fat Jacks