Tag Archives: Isle of Coll

Ballathie House

Anniversaries seem to have a habit of returning every year. Last year at this time we were celebrating our wedding anniversary and decided to do it at the Coll Hotel on the lovely Isle of Coll. However, family and friends had other ideas and we were instructed to cut short our stay and return home. Unbeknown to us, a party to end all parties had been organised. It was unbelievable and absolutely fantastic. This anniversary has yet another year added on but, oddly, no one is taking quite the same interest. Only significant numbers counted in decades seem to be celebrated! We’re celebrating however and that’s why we’re here at Ballathie House on the banks of the silvery river Tay.

River Tay at Ballathie House
the River Tay at Ballathie
Poetry

Scotland has the honour of being home to arguably the world’s best and worst poets, Robert Burns and William McGonagle respectively. This river has the distinction of being commemorated by McGonagle, “The Tay, the Tay, the Silvery Tay, flows past Dundee twice a day“. Oddly, the Scottish people seem to be almost equally proud of both men. At 120 miles the Tay is the country’s longest river and famous for its salmon fishing so unsurprisingly perhaps, Ballathie House is popular with the shooting/fishing brigade. Neither of these pastimes interest us, however. If we had a gun we dread to think what might happen. It’s a blessing that we’re too busy with our own hedonistic obsession – scones!

cartoon at Ballathie House
This poor angler who has fallen into the river is obviously a bit of an inconvenience to the shooting fraternity
Hedonism

That most hedonistic of Royals, the Queen Mother, used to stay at nearby Glamis Castle  where she was born but frequently used Ballathie for house parties. On one occasion she scandalously arrived alone with a gentleman friend … what an absolute shocker! Not so much of a shocker, however, as her extravagant lifestyle leading to her dying £7 million in debt. The bank just wrote it off so we’re fervently trying to emulate that not inconsiderable feat!

Drawing room at Ballathie House
The drawing room

Ballathie Estate is quite big. From the entrance gate on the main road it only takes about five minutes to drive to the main house. We had arranged for a cream tea on arrival. Scones at Ballathie HouseA champagne  afternoon tea would have been good but bearing in mind that Ballathie is also famous for its dining experiences a full afternoon tea would have ruined our appetite for dinner in the evening. We were being sensible! As expected our cream tea was nicely presented. There was a fruit scone for each of us along with lots of jam and cream. There was also a bonus of freshly baked shortbread biscuits. The scones were warm and generously dusted  with icing sugar. We couldn’t fault anything so  an easy topscone … just what you need on an anniversary!

View from Ballathie House
View across the river from our table
Take your pick

Anniversaries are not just about weddings, of course! Israel recently celebrated the 75th anniversary of the Holocaust which beggars belief given the horror of what is happening in Gaza. Russia is celebrating Victory Day with a vast display of killing machines. So there are anniversaries celebrated by some that others would rather forget … you take your pick. We pick ‘weddings’.A sketch of Ballathie House

Dinner was fabulous … a very happy anniversary!

PH1 4QN        tel: 01250 883268        Ballathie House

///redeeming.wharfs.momentous

Coll Hotel

This is a post about boats, planes, surfing and a couple of scones. How exciting is that?

Last year Pat and I intended to celebrate our Golden Wedding at Coll Hotel. Just the two of us and a nice quite few days on an island would just be perfect. However, we had not reckoned with our children who announced that they were coming up from the south of England to celebrate with us. We had to curtail our stay on Coll and return home … but that’s another story. This year, because I had decided to have yet another birthday, Pat thought we should complete our stay at Coll Hotel. Hopefully this post illustrates some of the delights of a tiny island like Coll.View of MV Clansman

Travelling

For us, travelling by ferry is always fun, an event in itself! Looking out for dolphins, whales, birds and landmarks, passes the time very quickly. You really feel as if you are going somewhere. It was the MV Clansman that was taking us on our three hour journey from Oban. After Coll it sails on to the Isle of Tiree, returns to Coll then back to Oban. In summer it makes the round trip twice a day laden with tourists but at this time of year it’s relatively quiet.

Segn for eggas for sale on Coll
We bought some eggs at an honesty box. The box was stuffed with money … no-one had bothered to empty it.

Normally in remote hotels like this the staff change with every season so it’s testament to Coll Hotel that they can retain their staff throughout the winter. It was great to see friendly familiar faces again. After our painful, never to be repeated,  experience last year on bikes, this time we had the car. The island is 13 miles long and 3 miles wide. However, the twisty single track roads with sheep lying on them, dictate that you don’t get anywhere very quickly. But who needs to get anywhere quickly on Coll? After checkin in we headed off to the east end of the island as far as the road would take us.

The beach at Sorisdale
Pat on the beach at Sorisdale. at the east of the island. Ardnamurchan on the horizon.

There are about twenty notable beaches and we didn’t meet anyone on any of the ones we visited. By the time we had explored this end of the island it was time to make our way back to the hotel for dinner.

A traditional house on Coll
One of the old traditional houses. Originally it probably had a turf roof
Twitching

Next day, the weather was lovely again and we were going  to explore the rest of the island to the west, The previous day, Pat had started a bird list and was keen to add to it. The Island Café was closed so we told the hotel we would be back around 3pm for scones … got to check that standards are maintained after all!

Coll airport
Pat at the airport. No one there but you can just go in and use the facilities. Planes fly to and from the Isle of Tiree and Oban on the mainland

Approaching the west of the island you come on the extraordinary sight of the two  Breachacha Castles … one old and one new.

Breachacha Castle on Coll
Built in the 15th century Breachacha Castle was a stronghold of Clan MacLean
new Breachacha Castle on Coll
Built in 1750 this is the New Breachacha Castle currently for sale £450,000
While we were here, amongst other sightings we were able to add Snow Geese and a low flying Golden Eagle to Pat’s list … fantastic!  None of the beaches are particularly accessible on Coll, They all involve a bit of a hike usually over massive sand dunes. The highest point is Ben Hogh a dune reaching a lofty 341 feet. We drove round to Bally Haugh (pronounced Bally Ho) beach but even that involved a trek of about half a mile.
Bally Haugh beach on Coll
Bally Haugh beach, best for surfing but we didn’t have our boards
 
What are the chances?

Here, its very easy to lose track of time. It was well after 3pm when we got back and too late for a scone. Sadly, it looked like this visit was going to be sconeless. It was after 5pm so time for a drink. Amazingly, in the bar the first people we met were a couple we had befriended in a bar in Oban before we left. Turns out they live just behind the Coll hotel.

Birthday dinner at Coll Hotel
Surprise, surprise, the staff gave a rousing rendition of “happy birthday” and a cake and a candle for every year of my mental age! We also made some new friends from Switzerland.

Scones in a boxNext morning we, very reluctantly, had to take our leave. However, as we passed reception what should be on the desk but a little cardboard box. It contained two scones and some jam and cream to eat on the ferry. How nice was that? This is definitely one of our favourite hotels. We’ve run out of excuses to come back so we will just have to come back anyway.

Things must have happened out there in the big bad world but thankfully we are blissfully unaware.

The Clansman coming from Tiree
The Clansman coming from Tiree to take us back to Oban

PA78 6SZ              tel: 01879 230334           Coll Hotel

///leaves.inclined.rotations

For those interested, this is Pat’s bird list compiled over one and a half days on Coll. There were geese everywhere but, of course 01, 13, 14 and 21 were particular highlights for us.

01 Great Northern Diver 02 Ringed plover 03 Fieldfare 04 Blackbird 05 Rock Dove  06 Greylag Geese 07 Starling 08 Common Gulls 09 Canada Geese 10 Hooded Crows 11 Grey Heron 12 Twite  13 Snow Geese 14 Hen Harrier 15 Oyster Catcher 16 House sparrow 17 Wren  18 Robin 19 Barnacle geese  20 Stonechat  21 Golden Eagle  22 Lapwing  23 Skylark 24 Raven 25 Curlew 26 Whopper swan 27 Mallard  28 Moorhen 29 Shag 30 Greenfinch 31 Collared dove.

Helensbank

This post from Helensbank is a little bit different from our usual. It doesn’t involve us travelling very far, it doesn’t involve a cafe or a restaurant. It doesn’t even involve a scone. Okay, you can stop reading here if you like but we think you should bear with us. Perhaps we should explain.

Chance?
A plant at Helensbank
Giant Himalayan lily over 2.5m tall

Attentive readers will remember that last month were were on the Isle of Coll nursing sore bums from bikes that didn’t fit us. That was our excuse anyway, nothing to do with our general state of decrepitude.  We had a wonderful time on Coll and one of the highlights was meeting a couple at the Island Café who were taking delivery of some langoustines  We got chatting. Turned out they were keen gardeners and lived in Kincardine which is just a ten minute drive from our home. To cut a long story short they invited us to see their garden at Helensbank House. And here we are, along with one of our neighbours. She is also a very keen gardener so we felt sure she would enjoy Helensbank.

Another world

Helensbank is sometimes described as a ‘secret garden’ and we totally understand why. Kincardine is not a big place so we assumed there wouldn’t be a problem finding a large garden. Wrong! It is tucked away down a very narrow street and when you arrive at the door there is not even a hint of a garden … just a pavement and a door! When our hosts opened the door, however, everything changed. You pass through to another world. A magical almost Mediterranean looking proliferation of plants … everywhere you look. Turns out that the door on the street is actually the back door. Now we understand … do we?

Old Cedar of Lebanon at Helensbank
Centrepiece is this cedar brought back from Lebanon and planted by a sea captain in 1750

Our hosts open the garden occasionally to the public by arrangement or for charitable events. They have owned Helensbank for twenty years so their knowledge of each and ever plant was astounding.

Helensbank garden
A wedding cake tree on the left with an acer on the right beautifully underplanted with hosts
Portland roses

The garden is surrounded by a high wall and consists of lots of separate secluded little compartments or ‘rooms’. External view of HelensbankEach has its own character. Some shady with lots of foliage plants … few of which we recognised. Others sunny with tables and chairs where you could simply sit and enjoy the peace and quiet of the garden. Portland roses are a favourite and there were lots of beautifully scented examples everywhere. Little paths join everything up. There is so much to see the garden could never be done quickly. Particularly if our neighbour needs to discuss each and every plant at  length!Victor the tortoise at Helensbank

In one of the ‘rooms’ we came across some bantam hens with tiny chicks. Then we were introduced to Victor their tortoise. He is about 12 years old and had been inherited from people who could no longer look after him. For a tortoise he was incredibly agile and seemed to have an insatiable appetite for dandelion leaves.

Hostas at HelensbankConsidering our host’s encyclopaedic knowledge it’s hardly surprising that they organise horticultural courses at Helensbank and elsewhere. Helensbank garden

Cookies

The intention had been that we would have tea and scones at the end of our visit however, circumstances dictated otherwise. Helensbank gardenInstead we had tea from a lovely tea set and chocolate chip cookies. All while sitting beside a huge example of the fantastically fragrant Ispahan rose. Tea nd biscuits at HelensbankWhat a fantastic way to spend an afternoon. We had only met our hosts fleetingly on Coll yet the kindness and hospitality they showed us was absolutely wonderfull. 

Everything crossed

As we often say we are very lucky to be able to spend time like this with such incredible people. Especially when we think of the five folk lost in the Titan submersible. They are two and a half miles down in the Atlantic near the wreck of the Titanic … truly desperate situation. Fingers and everything else crossed for their safe return.

FK10 4QZ       tel: 07739 312912        Helensbank Garden

///armful.shelving.tumble

Coll hotel

Logo of Coll HotelImagine staying at Coll Hotel and not having a scone. We never thought to ask because there was nothing to indicate that they did that sort of thing. It wasn’t until Sophie, our hostess with the mostest, heard that earlier we had had a scone at the Island Café that she informed us that a scone at the hotel was no problem whatsoever. Brilliant, only problem was we were leaving in just over an hour to go and catch the ferry back to Oban.Part of restaurant at Coll Hotel

We were commanded to sit at a table where we could look out over the gardens and Loch Eatherna.

Distress

Before that, however, we should tell you about Pat’s sheep experience that she had just outside the hotel. A lamb at the side of the road started to bleat at her as if in distress. By the time I caught up she was quite convinced that it was trying to tell her something. And it was! Eventually, we figured it out when its mother  appeared equally distressed, bleating frantically. They ran towards each other but a solid stone wall was separating them. In spite of running up and down they weren’t going far enough to get round the wall. Pat eventually shooed the lamb towards the end of the wall. The  reunification was a joy to behold.

Lambs at Arinagour
These two knew where their mother was.

Before you could say Jack Flash we had our scone together with nice little bowls of jam and cream as well as our tea.

A scone at Coll Hotel
View from our scone

The scone was warm and just the way we like them. Everything was perfect. If ever there was a topscone, this was it! The only problem was that we were having to leave all this behind. Sophie, with her wonderful warm smile had looked after us with fabulous carefree ease. Paul, like most islanders was a man of many talents. He would pop up working in the most unexpected places and now he was driving us to the ferry. What a guy!

We thoroughly enjoyed our first venture on the Isle of Coll. Another visit is now beckoning but maybe with a car next time. For those of you who feel that I should treat my wife better and not have her endure these cycling hardships, this is a photograph of her on the Isle of Tiree in 1974 just a year after we got married. See, she loves it!Pat cycling on Tiree

It’s obvious

On that occasion we got these ancient bikes from old John MacDonald. He had a little cottage at the back of the Scaranish Hotel. Pat’s bike was fine but when I peddled mine nothing happened. John was watching us from his door and could see the problem. He was shouting but with his broad highland accent we couldn’t quite make out what he was saying. Turned out he was shouting “just hit it with stone“.  Even when we knew it still didn’t make much sense. He, however, just laid the bike on its side, picked up a fairly large stone and hit the back cog with an almighty wallop … perfect! Why didn’t I think of that.

More distress

Eurovision will be in full swing tonight. This is Australia’s last year in the competition but what will happen if they win. Where will it be held next year. Suffice to say the folks at the Coll Hotel didn’t seem at all worried!

PA78 6SZ        tel: 01879 230334          Coll Hotel

///leaves.inclined.rotations

Island Café

When the “Lord Of The Isles” docked at Arinagour, the capital of the Isle of Coll, the hotel came to meet us. Although it’s less than a mile  from the harbour, with our backpacks and general state of decrepitude, the lift was very welcome. Already we had a good feeling that this was going to be a friendly and welcoming place. On the way we passed the Island Café and made a mental note for the following day.

Downtown Arinagour
Downtown Arinagour with the Island Cafe to the right of the row of white houses

Because the island is only 12×3 miles we hadn’t brought our car. The hotel had bikes that you could just help yourself to so that was to be our mode of transport. We had forgotten, however, that a day on a strange bike when you haven’t been on one for years can result in some painful experiences. We decided that we would go towards the airport (flights twice a day to the mainland) at the west end of the island. John, the island postman kept passing us in his wee red van. He, of course, was doing deliveries left and right of the main road so we were kind of leap frogging. Everyone waves here as well … even if you are just walking.

This is the only 70mph road on Coll??

After a few miles of fairly gradual but consistent uphill we reached Acha Mill. John was there too! The road from here seemed to descend quite steeply and obviously, since there is only one road, this would mean a lengthy uphill struggle on the return journey. Oh to be young again! And by this time our bums and pretty much everything else were protesting. As we pondered what to do, as if by some miracle, we remembered the Island Cafe.

Persuasion

We deposited our bikes back in the shed behind the hotel and set off for the cafe … stiffly. We had only gone a few yards when we came on a mysterious black shed. You’ll never guess! It turned out to be a distillery. A very enthusiastic gent insisted that we try their full compliment of gins and vodka.Coll distillery It would have been rude not to so by the time we actually reached the Island Café we were already feeling much better.

Inside the cafe was quite busy so we opted to sit outside in the sunshine. Still feeling the effects of our over indulged hotel breakfast we decided a scone to share would be plenty. It was really nicely presented with a little china tray thingy holding the jam and cream. As we sat looking out onto Loch Eatharna thinking how lucky we were John the postman appeared again. Everything was locally made and quite delicious.  The scone itself was very close to being a topscone but not quite … shame!

You can tell it any way you like

Apparently, one day, three clergy men, one Church of Scotland, one Free Church and one Catholic priest, were out fishing on Loch Eatherna. The Church of Scotland minister at one point got out of the boat and walked across the water to the shore and brought back some provisions. Before long the Free Church minister did the same. Eventually the Catholic priest thought he should give it a try however he immediately sank to the bottom. His colleagues hauled him back on board but he insisted on trying again, As they hauled him out the second time his saviours turned to each other and said “Do you thing we should show him where the stepping stones are?” 

Internal view of the Island Café
the lounge at the Island Café

Speaking of clergy, it turned out that one of the chaps at the next table used to be a preacher on Coll and Tiree. Somewhat oddly he now works in the “fraud squad” for a large accountancy firm and was just back here on holiday. What’s more it turned out that they were both friendly with one of my old staff when I worked for Glasgow University. The previous night we had met someone who was friends with one of my staff when I worked for Edinburgh University.  How weird is that? Coll of all places! 

They told us that earlier they had ordered langoustine along at the pier and that they would have to collect them later. Just then, Andrew the fisherman, arrived delivering langoustines to the cafe. He told our new friends to stay where they were and he would bring the langoustines to them. A few minutes later Rachel, Andrew’s wife, appeared bearing their dinner for that evening. She was absolutely charming and spent some time explaining all about langoustine. We’re pretty sure you only get this kind of service in the Hebrides.buying Langoustine in Coll

Perspectives

Even though the cost of living is a bit higher on Coll due to its isolation the population has increased by more than 60% in recent times. We can easily understand why. After a very short time here you have forgotten about all the problems of the world. And time itself just doesn’t seem to matter at all. Also, it seems like we have got to know almost everyone on the island. There goes John again in his wee red van.

Later, just before dinner, I was lying on the bed listening to Pat giving a running commentary on nothing happening. She was at the window with her binoculars. “I think that sparrow has a nest in that bush beside the helipad“. And “you know that wee red boat on the other side of loch …. it’s moved“. And “one of the seals has gone back in the water“. Excitedly “John’s just gone up that road beside the cafe“. Fantastic, could listen to it all night! I would have one of my usual rants but just can’t be bothered … tomorrow?

PA78 6SY      tel: 01879 230022        Island Cafe 

///dwelled.earplugs.dripped

Offshore

Paul Graham, en plein air on the Isle of Coll
En plein air on the Isle of Coll

One of our photographic friends, Paul Graham, was having a launch exhibition of his paintings at the Annan Gallery. It’s on Woodlands Road in Glasgow. A talented photographer for most of his life Paul has now veered more towards art. He works ‘en plein air’ which is his hifalutin way of saying ‘outside’. Paul does though! He sets his easel up in all sorts of situations and climatic conditions and gets to work, For some of the fab results see his blog. Anyway, much as we appreciate Paul’s work we were really only here for the champagne. Once that was finished there was nothing left to do except go for a scone. Okay, okay, that may seem slightly shallow but at least we were in a good mood for a scone.

Not far from the gallery we came across this place, Offshore, on Gibson Street. We mention the street simply because it was once home to the legendary Shish Mahal Indian restaurant. Back in the day, it used to be one of the few places you could get alcohol late on a Sunday evening. Typical order might have been ‘five chapatis and ten pints of lager‘. It had to close in Gibson Street because of subsidence but is still going strong in nearby Park Street. One of it’s close competitors, the Koh-i-Noor actually collapsed into the river Kelvin. Anyway, we digress! Interior view of Offshore Cafe, Glasgow

Cursory wipes

Offshore looks a little bit as if it has been dragged from the Kelvin. A wee bit bedraggled. However this is student territory and since when were students put off by a bit of tawdriness? It had that studenty feel. Lots of folk, who looked like they had been there all day, reading books or fiddling with their laptops. We had to ask for our table to be cleared and cleaned. They did clear it but cleaning was nothing more than a cursory wipe. It needed more than a cursory wipe!

Interior view of Offshore Cafe, GlasgowThere were only rather large fruit scones available and a request for cream only produced a withering look. Toasted scones were not a problem however and they came accompanied by butter and a sachet of Nashville strawberry jam. A scone at Offshore Cafe, GlasgowWe have only ever come across this north American preserve once before in Bob & Bert’s. My coffee cup had a major crack running all the way down but we guessed that they didn’t throw them away until they actually started leaking. I was fortunate in that mine, against all expectations, seemed to still be retaining its contents quite well.

Now you may think that this is all heading in one direction but the scones were damnably good. Warm and soft and quite delicious … even with American jam! We had thought, since they were not doing anything else right, that the scones would be similarly handicapped. However, had it not been for all the other problems these would definitely have been topscones. Maybe it was the champagne?
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Logo for Offshore Cafe, Glasgow

Deserting the sinking ship

Offshore isn’t only where the wealthy keep their filthy lucre. It’s also where most people would like to be as Brexit wends its weary way towards some sort of cataclysmic conclusion. We don’t mean this café, we mean anywhere other than the UK. What irony! Principally, it was the north of England that voted to leave the EU. Now, one of the main industries in the north of England, Nissan, has announced it’s abandoning the UK to build their latest model elsewhere. Why? Because of Brexit. The north of England has many reasons to feel hard done by but it had little to do with the EU. It was just a really crappy conservative government here in the UK blaming the EU for its own shortcomings. It beggars belief that we are still pressing on, like lemmings, towards the cliff edge.Interior view of Offshore Cafe, Glasgow

A plan

It was mainly old folk who voted for Brexit … young folk cannot remember anything other than the EU. The elderly also denied Scotland its independentence in 2014 … frightened about their pensions, Consequently we have come up with a plan. Everybody who is one year older than me should be shot. This plan will undoubtedly have a few critics however it would mean that most people would then vote correctly … simple! Some older friends might be saying “but what about us?” We realise there’s a downside but as Theresa would say “trust me, I know what is best for the country and this is the only way”.

In such dire circumstances my cracked mug doesn’t seem quite so important any more.

G12 8NU          tel: 0141 341 0110         Offshore TA