Normally, when we go to London we get the East Coast line which is operated by LNER. Somewhat unexpectedly however a new kid has appeared on the line …. LUMO. They don’t do as many stops as LNER but we thought we would give them a try. So here we are in Newcastle-upon-Tyne. Way aye man, welcome to Geordieland.  They speak differently down here and have a whole vocabulary all of their own … would we manage without an interpreter,? 

We were too early for our hotel so we walked up towards the Monument and ended up here in Olivers Bistro Cafe in Grainger Market.

No one could ever say that Olivers Bistro Café is fancy. The roof appears to be held up by scaffolding but it’s practical and honest … a bit like the Geordies themselves.

The lady who took our order for a fruit scone to share and two coffees was lovely, she made us feel very welcome. After a wee chat she set off to get our order and within the blink of a eye, we had it … two coffees and one fully loaded scone … argh!

Decisions

You all know our thoughts on this unseemly practice. How much cream, how much jam … someone else had decided on our behalf. We felt disempowered! A bit like Scotland does when Westminster makes all the decisions to suit England. Anyway, we cut it up so that we could both have a piece … damn it, it was really good! And our total bill came to £5.50! We have a cheek to complain! No topscone but if you don’t mind being disenfranchised and feel an overpowering urge for a fully loaded cream scone then Olivers is definitely the place to be.

Stotties

Recovering from our scone trauma, we carried on round this vast market. You can probably get anything you can imagine here. We bought a stottie cake, a local delicacy that’s nothing like a cake but more like a big fat girdle scone. When we asked our taxi driver what we should do with ours, he said “aye man, ye can dae onythin’ ye like … ye can slice it in half and pit a full English breakfast in … that’s guid like!“

We also bought some double yoke eggs. When we asked how they knew they were double yolked it threw the two ladies behind the counter into a huddle of intense discussion. Eventually the answer came … “we think it’s a special chicken!” We thought about telling them about a special loch in Scotland that has a monster, but didn’t bother.

Difference a few years makes

The last time we were in Newcastle was back in 2019 when we were catching a ferry to Amsterdam. Only a few years but it seems like an age. No COVID, we were still in the EU and there was no war in Ukraine. What’s happening in Ukraine is unbelievably awful. The fact that, in Russia, the word ‘war’ cannot be used in any publication (presumably including scone blogs) about Ukraine,   without the authors getting fifteen years jail time, kind of says it all. If you don’t hear from us for a while you’ll know what’s happened.

NE1 5QF         tel: 7944 680959.        Olivers FB

///catch.awake.causes

ps: since then we have tried two of the eggs and only one was double yoked … chicken fail! We did have the stottie cake with some fry … excellent!