It’s a sure sign that summer is coming to an end. Could it be the lower temperatures, the leaves turning, or the days shortening? Well yes, but it’s more that we have started going to the movies after breakfast. We enjoy it. It supports our local picture palace and it feels slightly sinful when you come out and it’s only lunchtime. It also allows us to explore the town of Bo’ness and find places like Nosh, the scene for today’s scone.
Inside the Hippodrome
We haven’t been here at the Hippodrome, Scotland’s oldest cinema ,since February when we saw ‘Till’, an excellent movie. This time it was ‘The Innocent‘ a French romcom heist caper about stealing a truck load of caviar. Enjoyable enough although subtitles can be hard work when they go rapidly … why do the French speak so quickly?
In some ways watching a French film in Bo’ness is kind of appropriate. Bo’ness was once one of Scotland’s largest ports and would have traded the black stuff (coal not caviar) with France for many centuries. Scotland was France’s oldest ally since the two countries formed the Auld Alliance in 1295 in an attempt to control England’s many invasions. Trade between the two circumvented England and ports like Bo’ness and Leith thrived. It may also explain why Scotland has always thought of itself as much more European than England.
After the film we ended up here in Nosh, one of the few cafés we haven’t visited in the town. It’s located in a building built in 1750 as a tollbooth.
Built in 1750 but who were ‘RB’ and ‘EB’?
It’s more of a takeaway place for sandwiches and the like but it does have a few tables.
On the counter, under a glass dome, were two scones individually wrapped in cling film. We never think this is a good idea. Scones need to breathe after all and sometimes it means that they might not be entirely fresh. Anyway, we ordered one to share as well as a some coffees. Our scone turned out to be not at all bad but a long way off a topscone.
Obedience
The Prime Minister has single handedly managed to upset almost everyone by announcing that he is rolling back on his commitment to green policies. The date for net zero will now be 2035 instead of 2030. Goodness knows what it will be by the time we reach 2030? Right or wrong it does demonstrate this Tory government’s unswerving dedication to screwing things up. It wouldn’t be so serious if there was a better option waiting in the wings, but there isn’t! The only thing the Labour Party, “the opposition” seems to do is support the Tories. Voters are caught between a rock and a hard place. In Scotland, after one invasion too many by England, we have no say and just do what we are told!
A watercolour of Nosh’s building
Meanwhile King Charles and Queen Camilla are in France trying to thaw out relationships after the disaster of Brexit. Good luck with that!
Before we tell you about Food4Friends please permit us a small ramble. Isn’t it just fantastic! Just as we were resigning ourselves to a day of the media going on endlessly about the elections being held today, we awake to the news that Britain is sending warships to confront France! Wow, it’s just like old times … and against our favourite enemy. You can almost hear the jingoism in Westminster. Jacob Rees-Mogg will be standing on the white cliffs singing Rule, Britannia! You would think that there must be a better way to settle disputes? Oh yes, we remember now, that’s why the EU was formed! Now do you see, all you lily-livered Remoaners, war with France wouldn’t have been remotely possible without Brexit … hurrah!
Thoughtful
Enough of that, we should give Food4Friends a mention. A very good mention at that because we selected them to help us celebrate our wedding anniversary with one of their afternoon teas. They are a well established Falkirk company but, up until now, we haven’t used them. What would they be like? Well right from the get-go things looked very promising. Everything was neatly packed in recyclable bags and boxes … you could just tell that thoughtful care had been taken (see title photo). And the contents did not disappoint either.
Reminiscing
It was a chilly day so we carefully unpacked everything with a view to eating it sitting in front of a nice open fire. To help things along we began with a glass of Rosé Bollinger. We know we shouldn’t now that we have the prospect of war with France but hey … Auld Alliance and all that! And before you all think we have become a bit too decadent, we don’t have Bolli every day! As often as we can but not every day. We also had some Scottish All Day tea courtesy of our favourite coffee company. What could be better? We sat reflecting on our wedding in Strathyre while nibbling wonderfully fresh smoked salmon and cream cheese sandwiches. At £20 we thought it good value for money … especially when we remembered that £20 represented almost a fifth of our entire wedding budget for 120 guests.
In our last post at the Granary Café we liked the look of the scones but were a wee bit disappointed with the size and the texture. This time we were a bit disappointed with the look of the scones (preloaded) but were very pleasantly surprised when it came to eating them. Top marks, best preloaded scones we have ever had!
Sorting things out
By the time we got to the cakes we had almost forgotten about elections and potential wars with France. It did remind us however that the main reason for forming the Union between England and Scotland in 1707 was because England considered Scotland to be far too friendly with the French. Scotland didn’t get a say in 1707, just as it doesn’t get a say now. Hopefully after today’s election we might start on the road to sorting all that out. So heres to everyone voting correctly!
In the meantime we can thoroughly recommend Food4Friends. They even have a Secret Supper Club!
As you know from our previous post, Café 66, we have been following the swallows in their southerly migration. Unlike us, however, they probably managed to avoid French rail strikes. As they continued blithely onwards to South Africa we had to contend with the vagaries of continental travel.
No jeter in the toilet
As the officials kept telling us, the strike was a ‘surprise’, only announced overnight so there was nothing much they could do The answer to most of our questions was a gallic style shrug of the shoulders. There were a few trains running but no one seemed to know which ones. The French seem to accept such things fairly philosophically. And, in any case, they are fortunate to have Macron to blame for everything.
To cut a long story short we eventually arrived at my sister’s place about five hours late. The swallows were probably in South Africa by then. Never mind, we received a welcome like no other so all our inconveniences were immediately forgotten.
The Tea House carpet
To make matters worse it was raining. It was raining a lot … a monsoon. It was warmer rain than we get in Scotland, however. Six years since we were last in Nice so there was much catching up to do and new things to see. My sister was keen that we see the new tram system which was still under construction on our previous visit. Also the new Coulée Verte, a beautiful green corridor that runs through the centre of the town. It’s a place for people to walk and take their ease.
Of course, France like the rest of the EU, is pretty much a scone free zone. A bit of a desert to sconeys like us. There are may culinary things France is famous for but scones isn’t one of them. However as we wandered through the Coulée Verte what should we spy in the distance … the Scotch Tea House! Was it possible that a scone, a beacon of genteel civility, might exist in such a place?
We entered into a cool dark wood paneled interior that must have given many delicate Victorian ladies refuge from the midday sun. It didn’t look as if it had changed much in the intervening years. And, sacre bleu, they had scones! This was indeed unexpected. We had thought that we would be scone free until our return to the UK. Once we had chosen our tea from the tea menu it wasn’t long before our scones arrived … toasted? No one had asked if we wanted them toasted, that’s just the way they came.
Presumably all scones come ready toasted in France
In spite of there being lashings of cream in some of the cakes on display, there was none for scones, c’est la vie. There was a selection of jam and a little pack of French butter … just like you get in the UK!? The scones were different, not unpleasant – just different. They had a fairly dry even texture which may have been partly due to the toasting. We enjoyed them but thought they fell well short of a topscone. Good enough for a top ‘French scone’. though. Bravo, the Scotch Tea House, good attempt!
Specialités Anglaises’, a tad odd for a Scotch Tea House
One of the benefits of being here is that we are almost devoid of Brexit news. Suffice to say, the French are just as perplexed as the UK on the whole sorry fiasco. We may have to all learn the gallic shrug of the shoulders accompanied with a “Quels imbéciles!”
Today we are at 1884 Bo’ness. Readers will be aware that from time to time, we go to the cinema. More often than not we go to the Hippodrome in Bo’ness, Scotland’s oldest picture palace. And, more often than not, we go in the morning, just because we can! We are not quite sure why, because on the face of it it is a perfectly normal thing to do, but it still seems vaguely sinful. It’s not so much going in, it’s coming out when it’s not even lunchtime!
Anyway, us sinners went to see Mike Leigh’s Peterloo today and we had no worries about coming out before lunch. At two and a half hours, it’s something of an epic. It’s all about democracy in 1819 and the British government’s attempts to drown it at birth. They did not want common folk getting ideas above their station like the dastardly French. Four years earlier us Brits had given Napoleon a jolly good thrashing at the Battle of Waterloo and, sadly, our ruling classes looked on the Peterloo Massacre of its own people in a similarly triumphant light. This was amply illustrated by the fact that it actually took place at Petersfield in Manchester but was adapted to Peterloo as a warning to other potential upstarts.
Democracy
Anyway the take home message of the film was that we’ve not come very far in the intervening centuries. The UK is still the least democratic of all European states and, of course, democracy has yet to be discovered in Scotland.
After almost three hours of fairly intense viewing however, sustenance was definitely required. Just a short distance from the cinema we came across 1884 Bo’ness, a new café /restaurant. It had only opened a few weeks previously. The rather ancient looking exterior belies its nice modern welcoming interior. It does everything you would expect of a ‘kitchen grille’ but, of course, scones were the main attraction for us. When we asked why it was called ‘1884’, we were told it was because it was carved in stone on the outside of the building. It’s construction date. As good a reason as any and for brother and sister owners, David and Kirstie Stein it’s become rather habit forming. They also run very successful businesses, 1807 in Linlithgow and 1912 in Bathgate.
We decided on a fruit scone and opted for their offer of it being toasted. It was wonderfully warm when it arrived and came with plenty prepackaged jam, butter and whipped cream. It would have been nicer to have had a dish of jam, a pat of butter and some clotted cream but that wasn’t to be. Sadly, no topscone but we enjoyed everything about 1884 Bo’ness and would certainly return on our next cinema visit.
1884 and all that
While this building was being constructed in 1884 there were other things happening elsewhere.
Here in Scotland, in scenes that must have been reminiscent of Peterloo, Royal Marines and police arrived in naval vessels at the tiny village of Uig on the Isle of Skye to help a landowner evict crofters from his Kilmuir estate.
In the US, Alaska became a US territory and on Coney Island the first roller coaster went into action with a thrilling top speed of 6mph.
Batchelor, Grover Cleveland became President of America in spite of admitting to fathering a child in his youth. It gave rise to the chant used against him “Ma, Ma, where‘s my Pa? Gone to the White House, Ha, Ha, Ha!”.
John Harvey Kellogg, patented “flaked cereal” (cornflakes) which he intended as a ‘healthy, ready-to-eat anti-masturbatory morning meal’!
In France the Statue of Liberty was presented to the US and Claude Monet painted “La Corniche near Monaco.”
In the UK, Greenwich was accepted as the universal time meridian of longitude though France refused to accept it for another thirty years.
From this list we can reasonably deduce that the world has always been slightly mad. Though perhaps not quite as mad as it is today. The EU has sent Theresa May packing. Her attempts to bring about an acceptable Brexit deal seem almost as futile as Kellog’s ambitions for his breakfast cereal.
You know how we were moaning in our previous post about the demise of Falkirk’s high street, well this evolution, that many other towns are also experiencing, is pretty relentless. The consequences can sometimes be unexpected. Spaces left by failed shops usually get filled by enterprises that can’t be accessed online i.e. hairdressers and cafés. Falkirk is now awash with both. That in itself leads to another problem … there are so many, survival for all of them is nigh on impossible.
Record shops
Café Trio is perhaps a good example of this evolution in action because when we reviewed it about a year ago it was as a previous incarnation, Sorocha’s. Before that it was Mathiesons the Bakers which, with several shops, used to have a major presence in the town. And before that it was a record shop, Sleeves. Merely talking about record shops is an indication of how long ago that was, yet it was only 2003 that it closed. Sleeves was driven out by the big hitters, Virgin Records and HMV, that opened large flashy town centre stores. However, they in turn were driven out by the advent of things like iTunes and Spotify. Where will it all end? For sure, the plethora of cafés and hairdressers can mean only one thing … only the best will survive.
Treacle?
A year ago we were critical of Sorocha’s for its lack of atmosphere but ended up awarding it a topscone for some of the lightest scones we had ever come across. Unfortunately Café Trio hasn’t altered the atmosphere problem. It’s still as bland and uninspiring as ever, but would their scones need ‘pegging down’? Pat got a fruit scone and, since it had been some time since I’d had a treacle scone, I opted for that.
What sort of jam do you have with treacle scones? Or do you have jam at all? We know these sorts of dilemmas keep our readers awake at night. There was no cream however the oriental gentleman who was looking after us very attentively kindly offered a selection of jams. Strawberry just didn’t seem right and neither did raspberry so the winner was apricot. For our American readers that’s ‘apricot’ as in ‘apple’, not ‘apricot’ as in ‘able’!
To approach the problem scientifically, I had half with jam and half without. Analysis of the results showed treacle scones to be best with butter alone. However, if you must have jam then apricot isn’t a bad choice. Now you can rest easy! Pat’s fruit scone was quite good but mine was undercooked in the middle so a bit on the heavy side. Definitely no pegging down required! No topscone this time round unfortunately.
wall art at Caf
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Counting in your head
The café appeared to be run by a Chinese family and when we went to pay our bill their delightful young daughter (seven or eight years old), who was operating the till, actually worked out our change in her head and got it exactly right … clever girl! It’s a long time since we’ve seen that! We wish Café Trio the very best of luck in this highly competitive market place but we fear we may be reviewing it yet again next year under a different name. Let’s hope not.
Scones after Brexit
By that time Brexit will have happened and we will no longer be in the EU. Great, it will just be like old times! We will be able to go to war with anyone who doesn’t realise we are superior without all these pesky EU rules and regulations getting in the way. Take note France! Thankfully, we do not depend on the EU for scones. Oh, but what about the fruit … and the coffee? Maybe it will be plain scones only after Brexit, washed down with a small bowl of light gruel. Can’t wait!
Scone songs
When we reviewed Sarocha’s we flagged up a scone song on behalf of one of our US readers and asked if anyone could come up with a superior offering. Unbelievably no one has, so let us throw down the gauntlet once again. For inspiration you can listen to it again by clicking here. Excited already!!
ps: Our antipodean correspondents have been in touch with news of a scone down under. Having just returned to Aus from holiday in the UK they were able to inform us that the UK had better scones but Australia had better coffee! Is that just a hint of Aus/Brit rivalry creeping in there? They had their scone in Passiontree Velvet, Toowoomba which sounds good enough to eat in itself.
Having looked at Passiontree’s website, however, they obviously don’t know the difference between ‘high tea’ and ‘afternoon tea’, so in the face of such uncivilised ignorance, any potential claims to scone superiority would have been disregarded anyway. Not that we would ever get competitive about such things! Many thanks to J&P for their report, keep them coming!
There are plenty of things that change as you get older but no one ever mentioned to us that you start to run out of aunties. Between us we used to have loads of them but, sadly, now we only have two … and one of them lives here in Kirkintilloch. We are taking her out for lunch. Kirkie is a fair distance from our home town of Falkirk yet both towns are very much connected: a) the Forth & Clyde canal runs through both b) the Roman Antonine Wall runs through both and c) they both have an illustrious history in iron manufacturing.
The official guide
Aficianados of the world famous red telephone box know that almost all the K2 and K6 versions were made here in the Lion foundry and, of course, every single one of the limited edition K4s were made at Carron in Falkirk. For non-aficianados we have put together a handy guide which will hopefully help avoid any confusion. Anyway, now that we have cleared that up, our aunt wanted to buy some plants for her garden so where better than Caulder’s Garden Centre right here in Kirkie. It’s also home to the Butterchurn Coffee House. Although we had been warned it was always busy we did not expect to be told that we would have to wait twenty minutes for a table .. and it’s not as if it is short of tables. It’s quite a big place. We were put on a waiting list.
True to their word, however, we went back later and within a couple of minutes we had a table. The serving staff, although rushed off their feet, were very friendly and welcoming in that uniquely Glasgow kind of way. You find yourself talking about the weather, children and the price of tea in China in the act of giving your order. We had ordered a scone but decided, since we were having other things, to share it three ways. Unfortunately it appeared with all the other food so we had to look at it all the way through lunch. It did not look at all promising.
Lumpy bumpy cake
Well, you would think, with our intensive studies in sconology, that we would be able to spot a good scone at some distance. You would be wrong, it was excellent. What do we know? We like our scones to be a little bit crunchy on the outside and soft in the middle but this one wasn’t, it was all soft but with a lovely texture … delicious! Nice jam and whipped cream as well. They also do lumpy bumpy cake … don’t ask!
View with the Campsie Fells in the distance
Antis?
There have been other surprises recently! For us the biggest was how far the main stream media, including the ‘impartial’ BBC, went in distorting the facts about the local council elections. They managed to turn it, with just 20% of the vote, into a triumph for the Tories. Apparently the SNP are going to have to rethink their entire strategy and drop all thoughts of independence … eh? The clue is in the name? What actually happened was that the SNP, after 10 years in power, increased their vote and took control of all the major cities whereas the unionist vote decreased. It takes real skill to twist that into a disaster for independence but par for the course really. The Tories did increase their vote but only because Labour voters could not bring themselves to vote Labour and switched, unbelievably in Scotland, to Tory.
In France, Emmanuel Macron has become President! Perhaps not that surprising, but surprising in that no one seemed to like either candidate, they just voted for what they saw as the lesser of two evils. What has happened to world politics. Everything is anti: anti-immigration, anti-EU, anti-globilisation, anti-this, anti-that? Our Kirkintilloch aunty is a wee treasure however. We had a great lunch and a surprise topscone. Apologies for the homophonics.G66 1QF tel: 0141 776 2304 Butterchurn
First it was Gibraltar, then it was Vilnius. Guess where our globe-trotting Trossachs correspondents are now? Would you believe it … the Trossachs!! They have filed a report on the annual Kinlochard Gathering which was held a couple of weeks back.
Although the weather was on the dreich side everyone seems to have had a good time. It begins with the Grand Parade from the Forest Hills hotel to the Village field. “Clan Chief and storyteller Paraig McNeill bearing the Saltire led the Parade followed by the inspiring sound of the Callander Pipe Band and many villagers and guests bearing an impressive array of international flags . It sent a powerful message to the world that Scotland and its people value and welcome our international residents and visitors“.
The programme contained all the usual heavy events but there was also a duck race; a giant sack race; a crown making competition; a teddy bear’s picnic … in short, something for everyone. As if all this was not enough, amidst great excitement, there was a genuine verified sighting of Nessie … presumably on her holidays? If the weather deteriorated, revelers were able to retreat to the Village Hall where everyone was protected. As Ivor Cutler would have said, “from the worst of the effects of the fresh air“.
Bargain scones
In the hall, our correspondents were duly impressed with what was on offer. “We could only sample the cream scones which were crisp on the outside, with a delicious interior supplemented by an excellent filling of cream and jam. Sorry you could not add the cream and jam yourself but this option was available with the butter and jam variety. At the price of £2.00 for a tea or coffee plus a cream scone. This must be a contender for the Scottish bargain of the year”. Scone consumption was accompanied by traditional music from the Feis Point Ceilidh Band and the Loch Lomond Ukulele Orchestra. International visitors from France, Belgium, Canada, Japan and USA thoroughly enjoyed the Scottish hospitality. The message from the French and Belgians was very clear … “whatever the outcome of the Brexit fiasco they see Scotland as an integral part of the EU … c’mon Nicola“.
Thanks are due, yet again, to our correspondents who, at last, have decided to do some sconology nearer to home. Delicious as these scones undoubtedly were, unfortunately we cannot categorise them. Without a personal tasting we will just have to make a note (as you should) in next year’s diary. Sunday 16th July 2017. Will Nessie make another appearance?
The question is, what do you do when it is tipping it down with rain and blowing a chilly north wind? Go for a walk of course … well some of us do! Those who read our previous post will know that, from time to time, we are prone to a spot of bird watching. Linlithgow Loch is as good a place as any to spot all sorts of water birds. And sometimes the occasional rarity. Not this day however; the birds, having more sense than us, had obviously run for shelter. Only a few coots and swans braving the elements along with our good selves.
Somewhat drookit, we eventually came round by the Palace and came across the recently unveiled statue of Mary Queen of Scots looking out over her former home. Not sure about it, what do you think? She was born in the Palace and, because her dad died, became Queen of Scotland when she was only six days old. She also became Queen of France when she was seventeen. Not bad going for a mere teenager. Of course many believe she should also have been Queen of England but that is a whole other story. At the end of the day, her main claim to fame comes through our Canadian niece whose two favourite women of all time are Mary Queen of Scots and Lady Gaga.
Happiness is homemade
By now you will have deduced where all this is leading .. a scone refuge! Slightly battered, but nevertheless invigorated, we found our way here to the So Strawberry Caffé in the town centre. Enticed inside by the banner ‘Happiness is Homemade’.
By the time we had discarded all our wet stuff our scone was on the table in front of us (we had opted to share one because they were quite big, but mostly because Pat fancied their gingerbread). All their goodies are indeed home-baked. The scone was really nice with a slightly crunchy top and soft inside, just the way we like them. Loads of butter and jam .. no cream on offer, but sometimes you just have to make do! Life can be tough! Again it was a close run thing but unfortunately So Strawberry Caffé just missed out on a topscone award. You see how hard it is! The gingerbread was very good too.
Christmas is coming
So often, in places like this, the staff can be a bit on the surly side, but not here; all the young lasses appeared to be enjoying their work … lending little festive adornments to the displays. They do something a little bit different here too. Miniature cakes for children .. very useful for frustrated parents trying hard not to overindulge their kids.
Masquerading
Today is St Andrew’s day which provides a convenient link between Scotland, France and Syria what with Mary’s french connections and Andrew being Syrian. The government seems hell bent on joining France in the bombing of Syria. Though it is extremely unclear how this will help. And not at all difficult to see how it could make matters much worse. Cameron is using the old “Britain must do the right thing” trick to make those opposed to the bombing appear to be doing the wrong thing.
Peter Ford, the former British ambassador to Syria says “if we are not careful we will stumble into the Syrian quagmire and the people of Britain, not David Cameron, will pay the price in blood” .. and he should know better than most! At times like these wouldn’t it be wonderful if the government had an opposition worthy of the name rather than the shambles currently masquerading as the Labour party! At least So Strawberry Caffé doesn’t have to masquerade as anything other than a great wee café.
Bo’ness was once one of Scotland’s largest ports and would have traded the black stuff (coal not caviar) with France for many centuries. Scotland was France’s oldest ally since the two countries formed the Auld Alliance in 1295 in an attempt to control England’s many invasions. Trade between the two circumvented England and ports like Bo’ness and Leith thrived. It may also explain why Scotland has always thought of itself as much more European than England.
We never think this is a good idea. Scones need to breathe after all and sometimes it means that they might not be entirely fresh. Anyway, we ordered one to share as well as a some coffees. Our scone turned out to be not at all bad but a long way off a topscone.
