Today we are in the pretty little hamlet of Glenkinchie just a little southeast of east of Edinburgh. About 90 people live here. It’s a little bit unusual. because unlike the surrounding towns and villages which are all built from stone, here it’s all red brick. Not sure why this should be but it certainly applies to the distillery in the heart of the village which is entirely made of red brick. It’s owned by the drinks giant Diageo who use it as the “Lowland”corner of what they call the “four corners distilleries” The other three are Clynelish (Highland) Cardhu (Speyside) and Caol Ila (Island) and they are all used in the making of the Johnnie Walker range of blended whiskies.
Battle of the distilleries
We have a love hate relationship with Diageo. About thirty years ago the company also owned our local Rosebank Distillery just a few hundred yards from our home in Falkirk. It was generally seen as the King of Lowland whiskies, however they closed it in favour of Glenkinchie … booo! It fell into a sorry state. This year, however, there were fanfares as Rosebank was opened again. Bought by Ian MacLeod Distillers who spent £millions returning it to its former glory. The town also has the added bonus of another brand new Falkirk Distillery. All is forgiven, hence we thought this rival might be worthy of a visit.
part of the visitor centre restaurant
Becoming legal
It began in 1825 by a couple of local farmers presumably trying o diversify away from farming. They ran it for about 12 years as Milton distillery before deciding to make it legal and renaming it Glenkinchie after the little river Kinchie which runs past it.
looking out on to the gardens
Scones
Distillery tours are of no particular interest. They’re all much of a muchness so we decided to leave this one out. Scones, of course are another matter and we had spotted some in their café restaurant earlier. The staff were very friendly and helpful and they so had us sorted with some fruit scones and coffee. No cream but there was plenty butter and jam served on nice crockery with unusual bronze cutlery. Everything was well presented and although it wasn’t a topscone it was very enjoyable nevertheless.
Johnnie Walker is the world’s biggest selling scotch whisky brand with 205 million litres going down the hatch every year. That’s a lot of whisky and a fair amount of that must be made here at Glenkinchie. It is marketed under different coloured labels, red, black, green, blue etc. we’re not sure what the difference is except to say that ‘blue’ is four times the price of ‘red’, a marketing triumph!
Troubled
We’re raising a glass of Glenkinchie to toast the health of all our readers in this strange and troubled world. The ICC (International Criminal Court) has issued an arrest warrant for Israel’s Benjamin Netanyahu. Not before time many might say. He is now classed as a ‘fugitive’ along with Mad Vlad Putin. We live in peculiar times when the leaders of Israel and Russia are international fugitives and America’s President Elect is a convicted felon. Another dram please and make it a large one!
It’s that time of year again! Although we have reviewed Klondyke Garden Centre several times before, it has changed so much that we feel another review is justified. We’re not apologising … Boris doesn’t have to apologise for anything so why should we?
Choice
It’s our annual compost fix we’re after. If we don’t get it the rest of the year will definitely not go as well as it would have done otherwise. We try to restrict it to once a year … we’re not addicts … it’s for the garden. Actually, it’s for our rhubarb which we are in the process of transplanting from the garden into large pots. Reminds me of one of my dad’s favourite stories about a man passing a mental hospital pushing a barrowload of manure. An inmate pokes his head through the railings and asks him what he is going to do with it. “I’m going to put it on my rhubarb” he replied. “Oh” the inmate said “You should come in here we get custard on ours“. Okay, okay! It remains to be seen how well our rhubarb will do in pots … it’s a high risk strategy!
Anyway, over the past year or so, much work has been done at this garden centre. The car park is now vast and the centre itself is much bigger than it used to be. As well as a huge area dedicated to plants there are gift shops, clothes shops, a shoe shop and even a car wash. All this choice can be kind of bewildering and choosing compost is no exception … ericatious, John Innes, Miracle Gro, peat free, big bag, wee bag … argh!
Just part one section of the restaurant/cafe area
Technology
Unsurprisingly perhaps, it wasn’t long before the lure of the cafe became overpowering. Crikey, it’s. gone huge as well. In our previous review we tried to use their new fandangled phone ‘Order & Pay’ system. It seemed to work but after waiting for twenty minutes for our order to appear we realised something had gone wrong. When we asked a member of staff she just said “no problem, I can take your order” … argh! This time we ordered at the self service counter but they still seem to be using the same phone system at the tables. It must work sometimes so might try it again next time.
The scones were quite big so we decided to share. Expectations were not exactly high but we were pleasantly surprised. It tasted remarkably fresh and came complete with some English jam and Danish butter. The cream was whipped and nicely presented in a little glass jar. We actually swithered momentarily about a topscone but decided that the complete package just wasn’t quite right. But a bIg improvement on previous visits. Keep up the good work Klondyke Garden Centre … it’s all very impressive.
Wallpaper in the cafe area
Also impressive is the new Falkirk Distillery which is right next door to the garden centre. It’s due to open its doors for the first time later in the year and who knows it may even serve scones in its restaurant. Exciting or what?
Trumpian?
Last time we were here in 2020 Boris Johnson was visiting Scotland. He reminded us how grateful we should be for the block grant … a gift from England!? He also said he had an “oven ready deal” for Brexit and Gove was proclaiming Brexit as the “easiest deal in history”. We all know that now, as we did then, they needn’t have bothered wasting their breath. With his administration still deep in the proverbial doodoo his latest imbecilic utterances about Keir Starmer and Jimmy Savile do not bode well for how any upcoming elections will be conducted. Looks very Trumpian to us!
All is not lost though, just as we were all about to lose faith in government of any kind, up pops ex PM and arch Tory, Sir John Major, to tell it like it is … or rather, how it should be! A Tory with a brain and a heart … whatever next?
And just when you thought the world could not get any crazier, we came across this car with a banana stuck up its exhaust. What’s that all about?
Later still, I watched as a flock of siskins fought and squabbled over a load of sunflower hearts. Totally illogical because there was more than enough for them all. Unfortunately though, when it comes to our planet’s resources, we are all just siskins. That should have been a Tweet really?
You’re all familiar with “Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells”, a name used for someone with strongly conservative political views, who writes letters to newspapers in moral outrage. Well, recently we had a communication from “Slightly miffed of Portmahomack” saying that we had featured baked goods from Scotland and N.Ireland but had ignored Wales and its Welsh Cakes.
No idea
Obviously, having miffed readers is not on and history teaches us that ignoring discontent in the Highlands can be perilous. So, in an attempt to quell any hint of rebellion Pat has acted quickly and decisively to bake some Welsh Cakes. She previously had no idea such things existed but as always our best buddy, Google, rode to the rescue.
Very similar recipe to fruit scones but cooked on a girdle or griddle
No one knows where scones originated … England, Scotland and Ireland all have claims. The first mention of a scone in writing, however, was back in 1513 by Scottish Poet, Gavin Douglas so perhaps Scotland has the greater claim. Whatever, we are proud to continue Gavin’s good work. Anyway, no matter where they’re from originally we don’t think it’s Wales. They’ve got Welsh cakes for goodness sake so why would they?
Placated
Once the mixture is rolled out and cut into whatever shape you like they are placed on the hotplate.
About 3-4 minutes on each side the dusted with caster sugar
The caster sugar is optional. Without caster sugar you can slice them through the middle and eat them with butter and jam, just like a scone. Alternatively, with the caster sugar you can eat them just as they are. They were delicious so we gave them the first and probably the last top Welsh Cake award. We thoroughly enjoyed this foray into the unknown. Who knows, Welsh Cakes might become a regular feature in Pat’s baking repertoire. The last time we were in lovely Portmahomack we had a topscone and hopefully, now that “slightly miffed” is placated it will be safe to return for another. Can’t wait!
Oprah
The fallout from the Meghan and Harry interview is incredible. For an inconsequential family rift to dominate almost every news channel for a week just beggars belief. With Meghan, the monarchy has missed a golden opportunity to drag itself into the modern technological world. The traditional fairytale secretive monarchy no longer cuts the mustard for many. And just so that you know, its a few years since we last chatted with the Queen but we can confirm that she never mentioned Meghan once … if that’s anything to go by … just saying!
It’s a while since we brought you a telephone box. This one is at the new Falkirk Distillery which hasn’t opened yet but has distilled its first spirit. By 2024 it’ll be actual whisky. What with this and the old Rosebank Distillery reopening, Falkirk is starting to rival Islay as a whisky lover’s heaven. Okay, slight exaggeration.
It’s a pity the phone box was made at the Lion foundry in Kirkintilloch, it would have been nice if it had been a Falkirk one.
In the late 16th century, Lady Doune of Doune Castle, otherwise known as Margaret Campbell, must have been a formidable woman indeed. Her son was known as the Bonnie Earl of Moray because of his good looks, athleticism, skill on the dance floor and his love of scones. Haven’t been able to verify this last claim but we just think he would have been an avid sconey. However, these attributes ended up making him an enemy of King James VI whose Queen, Anne of Denmark, was paying too much attention to the Bonnie Earl. Unfortunately the King was a Boris-like knock-kneed slobbering individual with none of the charms of the young Earl. Eventually, James got the Earl of Huntly, otherwise known as the Cock o’ the North, to take “whatever measures necessary” against Moray.
Best laid plans
In 1592, Huntly contrived to burn Moray to death by setting fire to another of Moray’s country seats at Donibristle in Fife. Moray fled with his head on fire but was struck down by Huntly’s men. Huntly drew his dirk and slashed Moray across the face. The Bonnie Earl’s last words were “You, Huntly – you have spoiled a better face than your own!”. Ouch! Definitely a sconey!
Now this may sound a bit like modern day politics. Unbelievably, Huntly, the King and everyone else associated with the dastardly deed denied all knowledge. Sound familiar? We now think that the Duke of York’s current memory problems may actually be a hereditary affliction affecting all aristocracy. No doubt due to centuries of in-breeding! It’s just a thought but maybe we should cut him some slack … or maybe not?
Mothers
Moray’s mum, Lady Doune wasn’t having any of it and sought to expose all concerned. She had her son’s naked, stabbed and mutilated body put on display in the Kirk of Leith. A painting of the body was made for exhibition. She had his blood stained shirt paraded through the streets of Edinburgh. The outrage was such that the King had to go into hiding for a while in Glasgow and Huntly was imprisoned at Blackness Castle. That’s mothers for you.
Anyway, all this is simply to tell you that today we are in Doune visiting one of Pat’s favourite shops. After a couple of hours of fairly intensive retail therapy, however, we were both in dire need of a scone. So on this -4ºC frosty day we decided to head a few hundred yards along the River Teith to the café at Deanston Distillery. Almost three years since we were last at the Coffee Bothy. so it was due a quality check anyway.The last time we were here the scones came as a brace and that is still the case. They are quite small but if you want to try two different types, this is the answer. Unfortunately, on this occasion they only had fruit left so that wasn’t an option. Plenty of jam and whipped cream as well so the Coffee Bothy did not disappoint second time around. Just a smidgen off topscones but very enjoyable nevertheless.
You never know the minute
In our last post about the Coffee Bothy we were lamenting the fact that Deanston distillery (about 20 miles from Falkirk) had become the closest to home. It used to be Rosebank distillery (a few hundred yards away) but it closed in 1993. It had produced Scotland’s most light and floral whisky and came to define Lowland whiskies in general. Since then, however, it has been announced that Rosebank is to be completely renovated and will reopen in the next year or so. Not only that, a brand new Falkirk distillery, imaginatively called the Falkirk Distillery, is in the process of being built at the other end of the town and will also be opening within a few months. Now, although this news may not excite all sconeys please remember that both distilleries will undoubtedly feature a coffee shop. Excited now? Watch this space.
For the first time in its history, the BBC has resorted to public challenges to try and get the Prime Minister to be interviewed by Andrew Neil like all the other party leaders. No success so far but don’t be surprised if Neil’s home suddenly goes on fire with him in it.
Today we are in the pretty little hamlet of Glenkinchie just a little southeast of east of Edinburgh. About 90 people live here. It’s a little bit unusual. because unlike the surrounding towns and villages which are all built from stone, here it’s all red brick. Not sure why this should be but it certainly applies to the distillery in the heart of the village which is entirely made of red brick. It’s owned by the drinks giant Diageo who use it as the “Lowland”corner of what they call the “four corners distilleries” The other three are Clynelish (Highland) Cardhu (Speyside) and Caol Ila (Island) and they are all used in the making of the Johnnie Walker range of blended whiskies.
Scones, of course are another matter and we had spotted some in their café restaurant earlier. The staff were very friendly and helpful and they so had us sorted with some fruit scones and coffee. No cream but there was plenty butter and jam served on nice crockery with unusual bronze cutlery. Everything was well presented and although it wasn’t a topscone it was very enjoyable nevertheless. 
Scones, of course are another matter and we had spotted some in their café restaurant earlier. The staff were very friendly and helpful and they so had us sorted with some fruit scones and coffee. No cream but there was plenty butter and jam served on nice crockery with unusual bronze cutlery. Everything was well presented and although it wasn’t a topscone it was very enjoyable nevertheless. 
The ICC (International Criminal Court) has issued an arrest warrant for Israel’s Benjamin Netanyahu. Not before time many might say. He is now classed as a ‘fugitive’ along with Mad Vlad Putin. We live in peculiar times when the leaders of Israel and Russia are international fugitives and America’s President Elect is a convicted felon. Another dram please and make it a large one!
The ICC (International Criminal Court) has issued an arrest warrant for Israel’s Benjamin Netanyahu. Not before time many might say. He is now classed as a ‘fugitive’ along with Mad Vlad Putin. We live in peculiar times when the leaders of Israel and Russia are international fugitives and America’s President Elect is a convicted felon. Another dram please and make it a large one!
