This is a distressing tale of misconception misfortune. More than a little harrowing so readers of a delicate disposition should consider carefully whether to read further. It starts scarily by me going into a shop … something I haven’t done in a long time. I’ve found Jeff Bezos is perfectly capable of looking after all my worldly needs … except scones, of course. We were actually heading to Frankie and Benny’s for some lunch when we came on this sign as we passed the Dunelm homewares store which houses the Dunelm Coffee House.

We don’t want you to think that we are cheapskates but a scone for £1 just cannot be ignored. As soon as you go in you are confronted by masses of stuff … everything from a needle to an anchor. Admittedly we didn’t ask for either but if we had, they would probably have directed us to the appropriate section. “Anchors are over there sir between the kettles and the made-to-measure curtains!”

Thawing out?

The cafe is on the first floor so up we went. We took our seats and Pat went to the self service counter to order some lunch and a scone to share. Sacre bleu, they had a big basket of scones but we were told they were all frozen and hadn’t thawed out … what? There was no choice but to simply settle for a ham and cheese toastie.

As we were finishing however I noticed a lady going past and what did she have … a scone! I called over to the girl behind the counter “how come we didn’t get a scone” to which she answered “because they weren’t ready but they are now“. It had to be done so Pat went up and waited in the queue again to get one. Turned out it was only the scone for £1, if you wanted jam and cream it was £2.70. Mon Dieu, is there no end?

Well no there wasn’t! They may have been ‘ready’ in somebody’s eyes but definitely not in ours. Okay it wasn’t frozen but it had just bearly got above zero degrees. Refreshing you might think on a hot day like this but no, it was just hard and cold. To top it all it came with cream from Cornwall and jam from Tiptree in Essex and you all know what we think of that. Told you it was harrowing. We did get a nice bath mat though! 

Pride

So the Council of Europe has found Britain to be the most unequal country in Europe with the highest poverty rates.lowest pensions and the least democracy. Wow, that’s not something to be proud of! All is not lost, however, Emma Raduncanu has just won the US tennis championship without dropping a single set in the entire tournament. Remarkable for anyone but for an 18 year old it’s quite astounding. She came through with nothing expected of her. Even she had her return flights to London booked two weeks before the final. We just hope she can withstand the media pressure she will find herself under in future championships. Adding the pressure of being virtually the only thing the UK can be proud of won’t help either. Good luck Emma.

FK1 1LW       tel: 01324 460020     Dunelm

The Pedant has sent pictures of a couple of Falkirk made K6s in Broadway in Essex. Also some black K6s near Piccadilly Circus in London. Frozen scones and black telephone boxes  … the world has gone to pot!