Tag Archives: edinburgh

Ordinary, Scones

Pâtissier Maxime

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Delicate cakes at Pâtissier Maxime, EdinburghHere we are in Edinburgh again and this time Pat is treating me to afternoon tea at Pâtissier Maxime … yeagh! In 1985 when Didier Meyer won “best Puff Pastry in France” it encouraged him to set up his first Pâtissier Maxime in Haguenau near Strasbourg. He probably never dreamed that one day there would be one here in the west end of the Scottish capital, but here it is! It specialises in macaroons, cakes, tarts and loads of other pastries but they also make their own ice cream and chocolate. Their window display is a glorious confection of colour and deliciousness.  The burning question, of course was “what do the French know about afternoon tea” … it’s such a British institution. This very French establishment might struggle to pass muster?

Raised pinkies

Once seated it all started in a terribly civilised way with a glass of prosecco but when we saw the afternoon tea arriving we knew it was going to be a little bit different … in presentation at least. Normally afternoon tea comes with a fine china cake stand and equally fine china tea cups in order to engender the refined atmosphere necessary for genteel conversation. Raised pinkies and all that! Afternoon tea at Pâtissier Maxime in Edinburgh

Not in Pâtissier Maxime. Here it comes on a huge heavy multi-tiered wooden construction covered in fake grass. Tea comes in thick coffee cups … sacrebleu, mon dieu, help ma bob!! Three girls at the next table got an even bigger one that the waitress could barely carry. At least there was a nod to British sensitivity with the savoury stuff at the bottom and the sweet delicate cakes up at the top. Sheep table decoration at Pâtissier Maxime, EdinburghOnce we had recovered from the initial shock we noticed that, as well as the copious amounts of food, there were several ‘fun’ items like easter eggs, bunny rabbits … and a sheep?? The sandwiches and cakes were all absolutely delicious of course but the crème de la crème for us was always going to be the scone.

Désolé monsieur!

They were big … much bigger than they should be for an afternoon tea so we were a bit nervous about tackling them. In the end we decided to share one between the two of us. If we had eaten one each we would never have got anywhere near the goodies on the top tier. A scone at Pâtissier Maxime in EdinburghThey turned out to be quite good, a tad on the dry side perhaps but just toooo big. Fine on their own perhaps but not as part of a very generous afternoon tea. No topscone for Didier … désolé monsieur!

Everything else was excellent and the service we received was wonderful. So did Patissier Maxime pass muster? Well, yes and no! The food definitely did but the presentation, flamboyant and  fun as it was, lacked that certain British reserve. But then they are all French in here, what did we expect? Scotland is not particularly noted for reserve, quite the opposite, but these days even Scottish reserve lies head and shoulders above the British variety. Internal view of Pâtissier Maxime in Edinburgh

Stiff upper lip

Can you imagine the furore if David Cameron had had to ask the EU for permission to hold a referendum on Brexit .. and then to be told “no, you can’t”! Nicola Sturgeon’s reserve is astounding in the face of the hypocrisy of Theresa May who, up until recently, was lecturing us on what a disaster Brexit would be for all nations of the UK. Margaret Thatcher, of all people, said “Scotland does not need a referendum on independence she just needs to send a majority of nationalist MPs to Westminster to have a mandate for independence”. She obviously never envisaged that happening, far less that 56 of the 59 Scottish MPs at Westminster would end up being nationalist. In these circumstances, Sturgeon’s patience, dignity and reserve could be used as a lesson to any self-respecting Englishman in stiffupperlipness.Internal view of Pâtissier Maxime in Edinburgh

Thanks Pat for treating me at Pâtissier Maxime. You know I’m worth it!

EH2 4PA     tel: 0131 225 6066      Pâtissier Maxime

Ordinary, Scones

The Park Bistro

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In the year 1818 a man stood in a field somewhere between Edinburgh and Falkirk and drove his spade into the soil. He was starting to excavate a massive thirty one mile long ditch between the two towns which would eventually be filled with water. The Union Canal, as we know it today. Nowadays we have huge automated earth moving machines. It is quite extraordinary to think that this canal with all its tunnels and aqueducts had to be constructed entirely by hand. Millions of spadefuls mostly at the hands of hundreds of Highlanders and Irishmen.

The intention was to feed Edinburgh’s insatiable appetite for coal but today our own personal needs are much simpler because just a few yards from the canal’s towpath at Philpstoun is a converted cattle shed, the Park Bistro. We hoped it would satisfy our appetite for scones. For the many hundreds of people using the canal and the towpath The Park provides welcome respite from their exertions. Today, however, our exertions were pretty feeble since we arrived by car on our way home from Edinburgh. Interior of the Park Bistro, Linlithgow

Scooshie or whipped

Quite a while back we tried to get a scone here but they had just sold the last one so it was not to be. Today, however, there was no such problem … scones aplenty! When they arrived with our coffee we asked if there was any cream. The lady screwed her face up and said “only scooshie”. We screwed our faces up and said “no thanks”. A scone at the Park Bistro, LinlithgowHowever, just as we were about to cut into our first scone she suddenly reappeared placing a lovely bowl of whipped cream on our table … “stole it from the chef making a pavlova”! And, with a sly wink, she was off just as suddenly. Service, or what?

The coffee was good but the scones themselves were quite tricky to eat. They were so crumbly … much wiping and licking of fingers. Despite this we enjoyed our time at The Park …  but not what we would describe as a topscone experience.

War of Devolution

Ajoining the café area is a wee room imaginatively called ‘The Wee Room’, which can be hired for private parties and in it hangs a tapestry showing Louis XIV defeating the Spanish near a canal in Bruges in the 1667 War of Devolution. Can’t think why it should be hanging here other than canals … oh, and devolution. A concept which seems in mortal danger these days given the Prime Minister’s attitude to Scotland and Brexit.

a tapestry at the Park Bistro, Linlithgow
Must have taken them ages to get ready for battle!

 

It’s a bit rich, when the Parliament in Edinburgh wants independence and almost every single Scottish MP at Westminster wants independence, for May to tell Sturgeon to ignore these ‘details’ and get on with the day job. Especially when May’s own domestic politics are in a much worse state than Scotland’s. Anyway, with the announcement yesterday of IndyRef2 we cannot expect the battle over the next few years to be conducted with anything like the aplomb of Louis XIV. It is going to be messy! Window sign for the Park Bistro, Linlithgow

On a slightly different tack. These days most people would pay a premium to have a canal view but not so William Forbes of Callendar.  When the Union Canal was being built he petitioned every MP at Westminster. He thought the canal might spoil the distant view from his mansion. The route was subsequently diverted through a half mile tunnel under Prospect Hill. It had to be hewn by hand from solid rock. Not a problem in those days when men were disposable. The great and the good will always look after each other. Looking at that tapestry again you kind of get the feeling they might take a break from battle for afternoon tea … and a scone!

EH49 6QY     tel: 01506 846666       The Park

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Scottish Cafe

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As we walked back to Waverley station in Edinburgh we had to pass the Scottish National Gallery. You can’t miss it, it’s the large imposing Parthenon like building at the bottom of the Mound. View towards the Scottish National Gallery, EdinburghAs you have probably gathered by now, Pat and I are not exactly what you might call ‘mad keen culture vultures‘ but we do have our moments. The odd concert here and there; the odd exhibition now and again. Sooo, as we approached the rather grandiose home of Scotland’s art treasures we had but one thought … ‘they must do a scone in there’!

Gallery at the Scottish National Gallery
Inside the Scottish National Gallery

 

Once inside and as we walked around one of the galleries. We paused in front of a small Rembrandt and wondered if you might be interested in our thoughts on the iconicity of the gesture spatially undermining the substructure of critical thinking … or … if you might like us just to get straight to the scones? Okay, the scones have it! Like many galleries it is both fabulous and pretentious in almost equal quantities but The Scottish Café wins, hands down, when it come to pretentiousness. Who came up with that name? It had better be good!? Internal view of the Scottish Café & Restaurant at the National Gallery, Edinburgh

Deceased sconeys spinning

Early signs were less than encouraging because it’s a bit of a soulless barn of a place and all self service. The young girl we got to help us was not from the UK and acted as if she wished she had never come. When asked if we could have something other than a paper cup for our coffee … no, was the monosyllabic answer! Ah well, after our recent sojourn at the Wee Lochan this was a bit of a let down. It’s not cheap either … £3 for a fruit scone must have had deceased sconeys everywhere spinning in their graves. In their favour, it has to be said that the café and the rather nice looking restaurant next door, do try to use locally produced Scottish fare. A large blackboard, next to where we sat, explained it all in exquisite if somewhat bewildering detail. Food source map at the Scottish Café & Restaurant at the National Gallery, Edinburgh

Value for money?

There was only one scone left. That we had no option but to share, so we got a pain au chocolat to share as well. A scone at the Scottish Café & Restaurant at the National Gallery, EdinburghAfter we had cleared a table to sit at we looked at what we had got; a self cleared table, an expensive scone, a wooden knife, two pats of butter, a wee bowl of jam and coffee in paper cups. Things were not looking too good. Pat, however, started on her half of the pain au chocolat and was soon making all sorts of soft “mmmmm” noises.
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Eventually, once I had unpacked the butter and spread the jam, I took a mouthful of scone. Damn it, it was good as well! Maybe it was because of our expectations being lowered to such an extent by the surroundings and service that we thought they were good. But no, they actually were good. In fact it might have got a topscone if we hadn’t felt it would unfair to the likes of Fonab Castle and the Wee Lochan where the value for money is much much greater – no topscone! You see, we can be ruthless when it comes to maintaining standards!

View from the Scottish Café & Restaurant at the National Gallery, Edinburgh
View from The Scottish Café & Restaurant
Grasping at straws

Talking of standards, we watched the debate in Parliament about Trump’s state visit later this year. It was good to see our elected representatives at full throttle, giving it wellie on both sides of the argument. And struggling to make themselves heard over the anti-Trump protests going on outside in the street. The visit will go ahead of course. At the moment, the government is grasping at anything that looks vaguely like a straw. However, it’s a pity he won’t be able to address Parliament. With all the eloquence of a football manager, it might have been a good watch.

p.s. apologies to football managers everywhere.

EH2 2EL    tel: 0131 225 1550   The Scottish Café & Restaurant

Scones

Café Gandolfi

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Believe it or not this restaurant, Café Gandolfi, derived it’s named from a camera. The famous plate camera made for 120 years by Louis Gandolfi and his family in London.

Gandolfi cameras

And believe or not, at the risk of appearing much much more ancient than I actually am, I did all of my training at Napier College in Edinburgh using these cameras. It wasn’t that long ago … honest!

Picture of a 5"x4" Gandolfi plate camera
Gandolfi 5″x4″ plate camera

At the time, PhotoShop had not even been thought of so all converging verticals and other distortions had to be corrected using camera movements. And heaven help you if you got it wrong by a few millimetres. You were sent back out again until you got it right!

When I see the ease with which photographs are taken nowadays, even I can hardly believe that this is what we used to use. Complete with a dark cloth over the head so that you could see the upside-down 5″x4″ image on the ground glass. Seems like another world. Recently we dropped in on a photographer friend at Wildgrass Studios near Lix Toll and imagine my surprise when he said “Bill, I have to let you see my new camera“. I expected the latest digital whizbang thingy but instead he dragged out a huge box from which he proudly produced an old 10″x12” plate camera. And  he uses it to produce stunning images that he sells online … brilliant!

As a plooky youth I did not really appreciate the fabulous workmanship in these hand crafted items and usually lusted after the all-metal MPP or Sinar equivalents … oh, the foolishness of youth!

Photographers and scones
Picture of stained glass at Café Gandolfi
one of Gandolfi’s stained glass pieces
Picture of artwork at Café Gandolfi
not the angel of the north – part of a permanent exhibit

Another photographer, Iain Mackenzie, who hailed from the Isle of Lewis, did appreciate them however. In 1979 he decided to start up a restaurant in the old Merchant City, a very run down part of Glasgow at that time. He opted to call it Café Gandolfi. Presumably to reflect the fine craftmanship he hoped to reproduce with his uniquely Scottish food. With it he introduced the first cappuccino machine to Glasgow. It gave the city a taste of the flourishing café society it enjoys today.

We were slightly fearful that such a trendsetting place would find scones a wee bit mundane. Our fears were groundless. We were told that scones were available upstairs in Bar Gandolfi. So up we went! This is a relatively new addition but it is very much in the Gandolfi style. They normally have lots of art on display but unfortunately we visited in the few days between their monthly exhibitions.

Not to worry we were looking forward to our Gandolfi scones … and when they arrived we were not disappointed. They were just the way we like them, crunchy outside and soft in the middle. Picture of a scone at Café GandolfiThere was no cream but the jam and butter more than made up for that. After much deliberation, however, we decided that they just missed out on topscone. But only by a very fine whisker, pity! Louis Gandolfi was an Italian immigrant. Like lots of other immigrants, he decided to move here and establish businesses which would help and contribute to the overall well-being of both themselves and the UK. In other words, they expected, like most immigrants, to contribute to their host nation through taxes and such like.

Taxes and all that

It is ironic therefore, to say the least, that Trump is now being hailed by his supporters as a ‘business genius’ for having paid no tax whatsoever in the past 18 years. Picture of the Gandolfi works in LondonAbhorrent as this may appear to all right minded people, it seems strangely indicative of the times we live in. If readers spot anyone who isn’t avoiding tax at this week’s Tory party conference we urge you to get in touch with the BBC. We are sure it would make headline news … not! We also suspect that Louis Gandolfi was a much better business man than Donald Trump could ever hope to be. So it’s appropriate that his name is commemorated so fittingly here in Glasgow. Definitely worth a visit!

G1 1NY      tel: 0141 552 6813      Café Gandolfi

Ordinary, Scones

Henderson’s Salad Table

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Life, after the result of the EU referendum, seems somehow surreal. To make matters worse, in escaping from a boiling hot auction house in Edinburgh, we find ourselves here in what is, for us, almost some sort of parallel universe .. a vegan restaurant. Henderson’s, to be precise. Hendersons 03Now, we are the sort of people who will eat pretty much anything without thinking too much about it. And thoroughly enjoy it. So coming face to face with a vegan scone made us realise that our understanding of veganism was somewhat sketchy. Google to the rescue!!

Vegan s defined

Apologies to those who already know, but the Vegan Society definition is “A philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practicable—all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose; and by extension, promotes the development and use of animal-free alternatives for the benefit of humans, animals and the environment. In dietary terms it denotes the practice of disHendersons 02pensing with all products derived wholly or partly from animals.” Great, all very laudable so long as they understand that that approach is a luxury. It is afforded to them by modern day living where supermarkets provide a ridiculous variety and range of just about everything. If they had to apply that principle in ‘Scotland of old’ their state of health would be best described as ‘dead’.

Anyway, apart from all that, this is a nice place with very friendly staff. Our one regret is that we chickened out on the vegan scone and opted for a cheeseHendersons 06 one. Our duty as sconeys should have been to try the vegan variety and report back to you, the reader. A mistake, one we will rectify in due course. This place was started in 1962 by Janet Henderson to provide an outlet for produce from her East Lothian farm. It is still owned by the Henderson family and has expanded over the years.

Square meals all round

We were in the ‘Salad Table’ on the corner of Hanover and Thistle Street but there is also a dedicated Vegan restaurant at the opposite end of the block (joined by an underground tunnel). There’s also a shop/deli in the basement. Our cheese scone was very good, not quite a topscone but pretty close. The coffee was excellent and, in keeping with their health philosophy, water is supplied with everything. Maybe it is just our prejudice coming to the fore but it seemed to us that most of the people coming and going, including the staff, just needed a good square meal to cheer them up.Hendersons 04

Where did David go?

Back to the real world. Ah yes, everything is broken … the EU, the UK, the markets. To try and solve a rift within the Tory party, Cameron gambled big time on ‘remain’ winning. They didn’t and now he has crawled off under a stone and left the resultant mess for others to clear up. The ‘Leave’ campaign obviously did not expect to win since they have no strategy whatsoever for the way forward. The Labour party, useless as ever! The EU does have a strategy though. They want rid of us as soon as possible and who could blame them? The UK has always been a shabby member of the EU. After we leave, vegans will probably thrive on the diet of baked beans we will all be on. Maybe we should all think about converting?

EH2 1DR          tel: 0131 225 2131            Hendersons

Scones, Top

Harvey Nichols Forth Floor

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Absolutely fabulous, darling!

It’s not everyday we are in Harvey Nicks. It is more the domain of those who seek a decadent champagne lifestyle, a description that could never be leveled at us?? We do, however, feel a certain obligation  on behalf of our readers, to explore every avenue and if you are looking for a ‘fabulous’ scone this would seem like an obvious avenue to try. And the rain had just come on so we had to find shelter … that’s our story and we’re sticking to it!  Expectations were pretty high. They have had 185 years since the business started on a corner in Knightsbridge, London, to get their scones right.

The Brasserie looking out towards the castle
The Brasserie looking out towards the castle

It’s not easy though. To get to a scone you have to go all the way to the top floor through masses of ridiculously priced goods. Easy for me but a nightmare for Pat. Having said that, there was a ‘50% SALE’ throughout the store which thankfully had the effect of reducing prices to merely ‘extortionate’. Eventually you reach the Forth Floor Restaurant … on the 4th floor with views over the river Forth. You can see what they have done there. Dashed clever those posh folk!

Part of the Terrace with the river Forth and the Kingdom of Fife in the far distance
Part of the Terrace with the river Forth and the Kingdom of Fife in the far distance

There are several eateries on this level including a YO! Sushi where you can eat raw fish off one one of those carousel conveyor belt thingys.  What is really interesting though, is another carousel called the Chocolate Lounge which does exactly the same .. but with cakes … aaarrgghh! How dangerous is that? Just as well there were no seats available.

Melville monument and St Andrews Square with the castle in the background
Melville monument and St Andrews Square with the castle in the background

We headed for the Brasserie where, even although it was raining, we were able to sit on the Terrace. It has great panoramic views over the city. No ‘50% Sale’ on scones. Turns out though that it is one of these places where the scones come in twos. So it’s a kind of 50% deal. HN 04We were informed they came as a brace because they were ‘quite small’ but when they arrived with their accompanying little pots of jam and clotted cream they were actually quite big. At £4 we thought this was pretty good value … especially here! At Harvey Nicks they don’t bother with parts of £s, everything is either £3, £4, £5 and so on … keeps things simple. When it comes to paying the bill, however, they add on an automatic service charge … boo!

Soft and fluffy

Anyway, the scones were actually rather fabulous. Soft fluffy and sweet on the inside and slightly crunchy on the outside, just how we like them. Service was friendly and the excellent coffee came with a round of crisp shortbread. There really wasn’t anything not to like … topscone, darling! HN 09

The EU and Australia

With only a day left until the EU referendum, things are reaching fever pitch. Will we be in or out? We think the Ab Fab pair Edina and Patsy would be ‘outers’ while the sensible daughter, Saffron, would be ‘in’. Whatever happens we will end up like Australia. ‘In’ as in Eurovision or ‘out’, as in reality, and the result will be ‘absolutely fabulous’ for roughly half the population!

EH2 2AD    tel: 0131 524 8350      Harvey Nichols dining

Scones, Top

Georgian Tea Room

No, nothing to do with Mad Max! This is in Edinburgh’s George Street and there is definitely nothing thunderous about it. ‘A warm balmy evening’ might describe it better.

The entrance
The entrance

Built in 1847 as the headquarters of the Commercial Bank of Scotland it currently functions as a bar, restaurant and night club. We often come here when we are in town, fancy a pint … and the Café Royal is just a bit too far away. On this occasion however instead of going into the bar area under the magnificent dome we went upstairs to the Georgian Tea Room. A bit of an adventure, since we had never strayed upstairs before. Needless to say the splendour continues. The tea room certainly does not let the rest of the building down in any way .. all chandeliers and ebony.

Afternoon tea

As soon as you walk in you get the feeling that you are not going to be let down either. It was a special day so we were tr

Internal view of the Georgian Tearoom
Georgian Tearoom

eating ourselves to afternoon tea and it seemed that lots of other people were doing the same. A constant turnover of tables but all done in an atmosphere of absolute calm. Of course, champagne had to be taken first. Recently, a correspondent from France could not understand how Hugh’s champagne bar existed when it was not open in the evening. I had to explain that, in Scotland, we drink champagne all day because, just living here, is a constant cause for celebration!

Anyway the bubbles allowed us time to look at the tea menu which contained six different options. Pat wanted her usual breakfast tea and I decided on the Bannockburn .. no idea why? Dome 06In our last post we were seeking out Scottish tea plantations, however, in spite of the name, the Bannockburn tea estate, which has existed since the 1850s, is situated just a few miles from the centre of Darjeeling. No prizes for guessing where the founders were from. Served in Dudson fine bone china, the blurb said it was fresh yet fruity with citrus and apricot notes; the perfect accompaniment to scones .. and it was! What with the crisp white linen tablecloths and napkins, the silver tea service and the scones being just the right size and melt-in-the-mouth, it was not in the least bit difficult to make a topscone award … hurrah!

Flying pigs

Sitting here in the Dome, cosseted and looked after superbly well, you tend to wonder what the government was thinking about with it’s recent attempt at cutting allowances for the sick and disabled. Little wonder they have decided to do a U-turn. Cafe Royal 02As we write, news is coming in of bombings in Brussels. What is happening in this deeply divided world? Maybe Trump can sort it out .. or was that a pig flying over? You’ll be pleased to know that we did manage to squeeze in a wee visit to the Café Royal on the way home.

EH2 2PF          tel: 0131 624 8624              The Dome

Ordinary, Scones

Anteaques Tearoom

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On the south side of Edinburgh you can find Anteaques. You can see what they have done there, can’t you! It is that kind of place .. a bit quirky, not quite one thing or the other. A curious combination but one that works quite well. It’s a very small place. By the time they’ve put in four tables and chairs for the tea and scones there is not much room left for anything else. Interior view of Anteagues Tearoo, Edingurgh

Queen’s breakfast

Because of the space restrictions, the antiques side of things is relatively limited … but the tea house is another story. A vast array of over sixty fine loose teas. They even have tasting tables for sampling whatever takes your fancy. We like a good cup of tea as much as anyone but there is no way we could be described as connoisseurs. We sometimes experiment in places like this but can never remember which is which when next presented with a tea menu. This time we chose ‘Queens Breakfast’ a blend of Ceylon and Darjeeling black teas. Interestingly, according  to the notes: the blending of teas specifically for breakfast originated in Edinburgh in the 19th century. A tea merchant by the name of Drysdale had a small shop in the Old Town and sold a tea simply called “breakfast”.

Our Queen’s Breakfast was very good. Like all good teas the service and presentation combine to create an ‘experience’. Different from what you would experience if the same tea was presented in, for example, a Lyle’s syrup tin with a wire handle. Many years ago, on my first day as a student labourer, I was directed to make the tea for about thirty men in the site hut. Since I found all the syrup tins half full of old tea leaves I decided to clean them all out .. what a disaster. Lucky to escape with my life.  A scone at Anteagues Tearoom, EdinburghAt Anteaques, however, it is all beautiful china ware, fantastic glass teapots and gleaming silver cutlery. Not a trace of a site hut or a syrup tin anywhere.  The scones are home baked and really very good, as was the cream. Not scooshie, perish the thought.

Rose petal jam

The best thing, however, was the jam .. rose petal jam, especially imported from Grasse in the south of France .. fabulous! So fabulous we had to buy a jar to take home.

Trump and Cameron

The ambience in Anteaques Tearoom is one of genteel sophistication and we would have loved to have given it a topscone, if only for the jam, but the scones were just a whisker off the mark … pity. Scones at Anteagues Tearoom, Edinburgh

When you sit in a place like this you could easily forget that the world outside is not as pleasant as it is in here. Trump and Sanders slugging it out in New Hampshire. Surely, even with it’s past record of electing complete plonkers, America could not elect Trump .. surely? Cameron slugging it out in Europe, frantically pretending he’s making some sort of difference. The logic of Cameron’s situation is that, if he gets his way (he is not asking for much) he will campaign to stay in. If not, presumably he will campaign to leave. No matter what happens everyone knows that he will never recommend leaving … so where is the logic?

Worth the effort

If you find it all a bit upsetting then get along to Anteaques for tea and scones. You will emerge in a much better state of mind. To add to the quirkiness of the place, it is only open three days a week. Friday, Saturday and Sunday .. and .. because it’s so small you really have to book a table in advance. Worth the effort though. Enjoy that rose petal jam.

EH8 9JH     tel: 0131 667 8466      Anteaques

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Cameo Picturehouse

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We are members here and try to visit whenever we can. It is smaller and more intimate than the local multi-screen cineplexes and tends to show more interesting and foreign language films. The weather was typically January so it seemed like an ideal day to squirrel ourselves away somewhere dark and cosy with a good film. Internal view of the Cameo Picturehouse Edinburgh

Arriving with enough time to spare for some tea we decided to give their scones a go as well. Although having looked at them on the counter we were slightly fearful. They did not look at all promising. Well appearances can be deceiving, as they say, because, although not topscones, they were pretty good. The fruit and cinnamon ones were maybe a bit too crusty on the outside but nice and soft on the inside. There was also plenty butter and a nice little cup of jam.

If only our film had been as good! A scone at the Cameo Picturehouse EdinburghThere were three to choose from and we chose ‘The Lobster’. A near-future story about single people staying in a hotel and having 45 days to find a romantic partner. If they failed they were turned into an animal of their choice. The main character had his brother with him all the time .. a collie dog. He had failed on a previous occasion. In the event of similar failure our man had chosen to be a lobster. Apparently a lobster can live to over a hundred and remain sexually active throughout. Never realised that lobsters had so much fun.

Spoiler

We would have enjoyed the start of the film a lot more if we had known that it steadily went down hill from there. It was co-produced by companies from Ireland, Greece, France the Netherlands and the UK. It kind of looked like a film made by a committee. Won’t say more though in case we spoil it for you. Internal view of the Cameo Picturehouse Edinburgh

Sitting in the cinema we thought it was a pretty dystopian surreal experience until we came out into the daylight and realised we had women being brutalised in Cologne, another shooting in Paris, people starved to death on purpose in Madaya, Saudis bombing the Iranian embassy in Sana’a, Pyongyang‘s H-bomb test, China‘s stock market collapse. And that the answer to all these problems might be Donald Trump! Maybe we should have stayed inside where it was all much more believable. Thank goodness for the scone … even though it only had a cameo role .. sorry!

EH3 9LZ           tel: 0871 902 5723         Cameo 

self-service

The Scottish Parliament

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Well, well, well, look where we are. Once you have endured the airport style security this is quite a pleasant building to be in. Not grand and imposing like it’s southern counterpart, but friendly and, even with the slightly austere design, welcoming. It’s very much a talking shop, rather than a coffee shop (is there a difference). Although we have been here several times before it has never been when the Parliament has been in session. The hope was that today was to be one of glorious enlightenment .. and maybe a scone.Parliament 02

But, for the moment, never mind the controversies raging in the debating chamber, the entire history of the Scottish Parliament is highly controversial. In spite of the very British illusion of democracy embedded in the ‘Mother of Parliaments’ and all that, almost thirty years ago the EU found the UK to be one of the most undemocratic states in the EU. As a result the European Commission forced devolution on John Major’s government to try and create more localised accountability. Major hated the whole idea but was perhaps fortunate in being deposed and able to hand on the poisoned chalice to Tony Blair. He hated it just as much, if not more.

In fact he hated it so much that on the eve of the inauguration of the Scottish Parliament he secretly redrew the border between Scotland and England. It meant that the ownership of seven North Sea oil fields were transferred to England with  consequentially dramatic effects on each country’s GDP figures. Presumably it was in case the Scots got a bit above themselves.

Controversy also followed the construction program with an eventual cost overrun of almost £400m .. ouch!!

the foyer area
the foyer area

Designed by a Catalan architect, Enric Miralles, it has been described it as “a Celtic-Spanish cocktail to blow both minds and budgets. It doesn’t play safe, energetically mining a new seam of National Romanticism refined and reinterpreted for the twenty-first century”. Whatever, we rather like it.
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Rapprochement

The debating chamber is built above the public areas to remind those in it that they are only there at the behest of those below them. Not sure that bit is working too well but the theory is good. Parliament 05We already know that the First Minister is a dab hand at making scones but if the 129 MSPs had anything to do with the scones in the tearoom, there must have been some sort of cross party rapprochement. They were not too bad .. nowhere near topscone but quite good all the same. Pre-packaged jam; butter a bit too hard; on the expensive side for self-service. Perhaps a scone designed by a committee?Parliament 01

We listened with interest to a session in the chamber but much of it was fairly opaque. A plethora of acronyms, can make it difficult to follow proceedings if you are not familiar with each and every one. Nevertheless we did find it an enlightening experience and it was good to see it all in full flow.

Searching for democracy

You would think that with the formation of the Scottish Parliament that the UK democracy issue would have dramatically improved. It hasn’t. If anything this place is akin to a sticking plaster. Recently, 97% of Scottish MPs voted against bombing Syria, but you all know what happened there. There are countless examples like this; nuclear weapons; the EU; trade union laws; the Scotland Bill; human rights; tax credits, where the Scottish voice matters not a jot. If you live in Scotland it is almost pointless voting. Parliament 09 Any system where one set of MPs is outnumbered 12 to 1 is self evidently flawed and certainly not geared to Scotland’s best interests.

If Scotland were not in a union with England and the top 100 UK secondhand car salesmen were given the task of selling the current union deal to the Scottish electorate they would not have a snowball’s. On top of all this the current government is intent on reducing our democracy even further. Chipping away at trade unions and eroding our human rights. They might as well be open about it and hand the whole thing over to the corporates and banksters who actually run everything at the moment. It’s enough to make you choke on your committee scone!

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