Tag Archives: Donald Trump

Peacock Alley

17 January 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Hello, hello, the UK here! Is there anybody out there? Has the US gone to war with N. Korea, or Iran, or Mexico? Is there any wall building going on? What about the gilet jaune? We ask because recently we have had no news whatsoever. Wall to wall coverage of journalists asking experts Brexit questions to which they don’t know the answers. The journalists know the experts don’t know the answers but they ask anyway … over and over and over. When they get bored of experts they go and ask the man in the street for answers … aaarggghhh! Such is the state of UK media and politics.

After the most disastrous week ever in the history of British politics, she with no shame, has promised to listen to others. Woopeedoo! Now, rather than take this wondrous opportunity, Corbyn has gone in the huff, refusing to talk. Over the past year he has been half savaged to death by principles jumping up and biting him but he hasn’t recognised any of them. Now he has suddenly discovered one … ‘no talks without a guarantee of No Hard Brexit’! Absolutely brilliant Jeremy. Considering most of your backers voted for exactly the opposite, absolutely brilliant! No wonder the EU is scratching its twenty seven heads.

How to spend money

Let us take you away from all that for just a moment. Today we are on a mission to spend some money. Eh? More difficult than you might imagine. We decided to take a trip into Edinburgh and go see ‘Colette’ at the cinema. The concessionary rail ticket didn’t cost much. The Cameo Picturehouse didn’t cost anything … we’re members. Afterwards we took a bus into the town centre and it didn’t cost anything either. How do you spend money in Scotland? Okay, you’ve guessed … scones. So far we have not discovered anywhere that does free scones, or even concessionary scones but rest assured, when we do, you will be the first to know.

By the way Colette, starring Keira Knightley was enjoyable enough. Beautifully photographed and well acted but, for us, it just never quite got going.

Strutting

Anyway the bus dropped us off right outside the Waldorf Astoria. It was the bus that did it … honest! On previous visits we have gone to the Pompadour restaurant but at this time of day it had to be Peacock Alley. It is situated in what used to be the forecourt of the old Princes Street Station. Peacock Alley gets its name from the original Waldorf Astoria which opened in 1897 where the Empire State Building stands today. It had a corridor where the rich and powerful could strut their stuff. When we arrived there were already several other rich and powerful people there. Things got decidedly awkward for a while as we all flaunted our rival plumage. Eventually things simmered down and we were able to take our seats and order some lunch … and a cream tea.

The station clock at Peacock Alley at Waldorf Astoria, Edinburgh — The old station clock which was always 5 minutes fast and still is.

Paul, who was looking after us and had obviously been impressed by our performance, asked us to go easy on him since he had only been in the job a few days. He was still learning. No problem, all our angst was directed towards the vast tea menu. Eventually Pat opted for Blue Lady. A blend of mallow and marigold flowers and flavoured with grapefruit. I’m not allowed grapefruit so it was the Peacock Alley blend for me. Apparently it’s inspired by the history of the railway station. Lapsang souchong, roasted oolong combined with specially selected Scottish whisky. Normally we just laugh at these descriptions but the Peacock Alley blend did taste a bit smokey with just a hint of train driver’s overalls.

The scones come two by two

We had some lunch and were ready for our cream teas. Unexpectedly, the scones in a cream tea come as a warm brace. Help, would we manage both? Initially we thought “no way” however they were so good we eventually polished off the lot. The warm scones together with pineapple and passion fruit jam and clotted cream were absolutely delicious. Topscone. They weren’t exactly cheap but you don’t get surroundings like this and the services of Paul for nothing. At the end of the day we were able to spend some money … mission accomplished!

Back to the reality and the chaos of Brexit! Perhaps the UK should take a leaf out of Trump’s book? Did we actually just say that? Lock up all our MPs without pay until they come to a consensus. In the circumstances we think that, since the experts are completely clueless perhaps the decision should be put back to the man in the street. Not every man in the street, just the one who wants to stay in the EU.

Just think! If Scotland had got its independence in 2014 we could have avoided all this nonsense. We could just have looked on and laughed like the rest of the world. As The Donald would say … sad! The sooner Scotland ditches Westminster the better … FREEDOM!!

EH1 2AB tel: 0131 222 8945 Peacock

Ordinary, Scones

Bob & Bert’s

5 January 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

A happy and healthy New Year to you all. We hope you will come with us on our continuing sconological research expeditions in 2019.

Looking back at 2018

What were the highlights of 2018 for us? Well, we collected data on over sixty scones and twenty one of them received topscone awards. We think that’s a pretty good batting average. Some were posh like One Devonshire Gardens in Glasgow, the Connaught in London and Knockinaam Lodge in Galloway. Others were not as posh but great nevertheless e.g the Drift Cafe in Northumberland and Fenwicks in Linlithgow.

We still had great experiences with those that did not receive our highest accolade. The Sundial Cafe in Limekilns, the Scotsman Grand Cafe in Edinburgh and the Pop-up Café in Pittenweem were all wonderful in their own way. Stand out amongst them however, just for location if nothing else, must be the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of Kerrera and the Forth Belle. In fact our 2018 scones all had something to offer even if they were not great in themselves. We certainly enjoyed the whole blogging year.

Fifteen 2018 posts contained telephone box news but our favourite has to be the K3 near Jamesfield Farm. … it was a privilege!

2018 politics

Ooooo! The big news for us was that a member of the Royal family had closed their own car door. Okay, okay it was a brash American recent addition to the family who didn’t know any better. We felt it was significant. Is it for the better? Will she be able to teach other members of the family? Well in spite of the potential for legions of royal door closers being thrown on the scrap heap, we think it’s a sign of real progress. One of very few in 2018.

Brexit, of course, has to be a highlight or a lowlight depending on your point of view. It’s confusing, so to make sense of it all we turned to religion. Eh? Let us explain. If we accept for a moment that, a couple of thousand years ago, God created the Earth in a week. And we also accept (or hope) that He is still working through the snagging list. Always felt He should have taken two weeks. Then we can probably assume that He saw the two World Wars, with 80 million fatalities, as snags with capital ‘S’s. The evolution of the EU however, even with all its faults, must have made Him look down in astonishment, maybe even with a wry smile. All these countries coming together in a spirit of harmony and cooperation … amazing! Then just as He was thinking “Gee, I didn’t do such a bad job after all”, along comes Thatcher spreading seeds of doubt and then Cameron to finish the job. If He has hair He can’t have much left now. At the end of the day, however if He thinks the EU is a great idea that’s good enough for lowly us to think we should Remain!

Enough of 2018, what about 2019?

For our first scone of 2019 we didn’t stray very far. Only as far as our own High Street in fact. The object of our attentions was a flashy upstart newcomer, Bob & Berts. It adds to the plethora of cafés already on the High Street. Turns out it’s a new chain set up in Northern Ireland (Norn Iron as the locals say) by one Colin McClean, a former geography teacher from Portstewart. They have eighteen cafés over there and have just opened three in Scotland. Considering the competition from the big boys likes of Starbucks, Costa and McDonalds this is a bold venture indeed. Is it too bold though? If our experience is anything to go by, we think they will go from strength to strength. It is definitely ‘different’, with a kind of American hipster vibe. The louder than usual piped musac seemed to be a mixture of Mumford & Sons and the Scissor Sisters. Getting the vibe?

Raspberry Ripple

Our experience was mixed however. We asked for the last raspberry ripple scone they had. It had a kind of pink macaroon thingy on top. Why not start the year with a dangerous scone after all? Everything was fine. However, by the time we had got our tea and coffee, we were informed that our scone had been sold to a another customer. It was still sitting there staring us in the face! Their system however meant that someone ahead of us in the queue had already bought it. But it’s still there!? Takes a bit of figuring out. They would actually allow us to purchase an apple and cinnamon scone, a cherry scone, a plain scone or a fruit scone. The eventual decision was a fruit scone but the raspberry ripple one was still there … arrgghh! Probably a lucky escape. Anyway, having survived all this trauma we took a seat in a couple of large comfy wing-backed leather chairs and set about sharing our fruit scone. We enjoyed it, however, the butter was from Ireland and the jam was from Nashville, Oregon? Don’t mind the butter, it’s an Irish company after all … but the jam?? That’s a big carbon footprint for jam! No topscone. We consoled ourselves however in the knowledge that, had they actually sold us the raspberry ripple scone, it would have fallen into the weird scone category and not won an award either. This new addition to our High Street is just that little bit different. We also have a huge soft spot for N. Ireland where we lived for seven years, so we wish Bob & Bert’s all the very best for the future.

News

Not much news at this time. The mighty Apple seems to be struggling a bit because of Trump’s trade war with China. Trump isn’t worried, he thinks that 2019 is entirely down to him … the highest numbered year ever … higher than Obama’s!

FK1 1DU no phone Bob and Bert’s Coffee

ps: Having raised your curiosity we are now feeling guilty. We may return to the raspberry ripple scone another day. Watch this space.

Ordinary, Scones

The Greengrocer Café

14 November 2018 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Back in the day when Scotland was a proud, honest and self-respecting country rather than the rather sad colony it has become, the town of Stirling epitomised the struggle between Scotland and its southern neighbour. Its very name means ‘place of strife’. From 1296 onwards the town was frequently occupied by English forces only for them to be driven out by the Scots some time later. It has gone back and forth like a fiddler’s elbow ever since. It could be argued, it is currently under English occupation. Scotland, even with its own government in Edinburgh, has scant say over its own affairs.

Never mind all that though, we are here to do some important stuff … shopping. The short rainy trip to Stirling had become necessary because of the mere fact that there are relatively few large stores left in Falkirk. It has been badly hit by the online revolution. The same shops, however, still seem to thrive here in wealthier Stirling. There’s always been a ‘friendly’ rivalry between Falkirk and Stirling, a bit like that between Glasgow and Edinburgh. Traditionally, Falkirk with its much bigger population and heavy industries made the money: a bit like Glasgow, while Stirling, retained much more strategic and political clout:a bit like Edinburgh.

Rumbling tums

Anyway, after a wonderful few hours of retail therapy in the Thistles Shopping Centre we began to feel a little peckish. This shopping centre is the only one in the world to feature its own 16th century jail, the Thieves Pot. All very well if you fancy a spot of incarceration but does zilch for a rumbling tum. In fact the entire Thistles Centre seemed to do little in the way of restaurants or cafés. Just wall to wall retail outlets. A short walk along Port Street, however, led us here to the Greengrocer Café. A delightful mix of café, delicatessen and greengrocery. It’s tucked away down a little lane. A nice feature is the large communal table in the main shop. However we decided on a smaller one in the main café area at the back.

The staff welcomed us warmly and we immediately took a liking to the place. Nice atmosphere, a wide range of food on offer and homemade cakes to die for. Pat was lusting after a ginormous strawberry pavlova in such a way that I had to remind her, in no uncertain terms, of her sconological duties. We ordered a light lunch followed by a shareable fruit scone. Everything was excellent and our scone was no exception. The only downside was the cream.

Alstroemeria table decoration at the Greengrocer café — Alstroemeria table decoration

They had said it was whipping cream however it seemed more like the scooshie stuff to us. It was okay but, unfortunately went a bit watery, shame! But for that relatively minor issue this could easily have been a topscone.

HAL

When we finished our scone it was back out into the wet for our journey home only to be told, on the car radio, of the demise of Douglas Rain . Brexit and Californian forest fires were suddenly of little importance. Now, some of you may not be aware of the significance of Rain’s passing but his was the voice of HAL, the computer in Stanley Kubrick‘s, 2001: A Space Odyssey. HAL had a mind of its own and back in 1972, we gave our first ever car, a Citroen Dyane, which also had a mind of its own, the same name. Tears were shed when HAL eventually went to the great garage in the sky. Now his voice has gone too. As Trump would say … sad!FK8 2ER tel: 01786 479159 The Greengrocer Café FB

Ordinary, Scones, weird

V&A Dundee Living Room

8 November 2018 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Recently, much has been written in praise of the new V&A Dundee museum of design on the city’s waterfront. Of course, the pictures of the building always look spectacular.

the V&A with Captain Scott’s ship, Discovery on the right

Our visit was mainly driven. however, by the fact that we had driven past the building before it was opened in September and were curious to see what wonders could be contained within such an striking building. Of course, there was always the possibility that amongst these wonders a scone or two might linger. So it was with much anticipation that we drove north on an overcast but very mild day. It has to be said that it’s a major achievement for all involved that this £80m venture has been financed and brought to fruition. A large part of the funding came from the National Lottery. What did the government do before they facilitated gambling on an industrial scale? Without the Lottery Fund and the EU we don’t think anything would have been built in the UK in the past twenty years.

Pots of marmalade

The approach to the building, designed by Japanese architect Kengo Kuma inspired apparently by cliffs in Orkney, is impressive as is the space into which you enter. It’s vast. We wandered round all the exhibits with a growing sense of bemusement. There did not seem to be a defined storyline or any sense of continuity. Just a series of individual and not necessarily connected exhibits e.g. pots of marmalade and engine designs for the Queen Mary ocean liner.

One of the style rooms

There was, however, a Scottish theme – the Beano comic, Alexander McQueen fashionista and the story of tartan but all a bit disjointed. This is one of Scotland’s newest cultural centres but, at the end of the day, we just didn’t ‘get it’. We felt confused by the use of space and uninspired by many of the exhibits. The reconstruction of Charles Rennie Macintosh’s Ingram Street tearoom was one of many exceptions however. Rescued after it was demolished in 1907 and kept in storage ever since, it’s fantastic that it has found a new life here at the V&A … no scones though.

Scone exhibits

Overall though it seemed, to us, like a triumph of academia over common sense. However you always new that we were cultural philistines anyway so perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised. One thing they did get right … all the scone exhibits were in the café area known as The Living Room.

Even this café had been ‘designed’ to within an inch of it’s life and was also a bit weird e.g. our name was painstakingly written on our paper cups for collection at the cash desk but we still managed to be given “Mrs Robertson’s”? We weren’t impressed and neither was Mrs Robertson. A banana and chocolate scone was the object of our desires. Another triumph of academia over common sense.

What sort of jam do you have with such a scone, or do you have jam at all. Such are our day to day dilemmas. Blackcurrant was the answer though not necessarily the right answer. Although people have been eating off round plates since the beginning of time (presumably that is the most practical shape) because this place is a temple to design, our plates were long and thin and pretty awkward to use. Yet another triumph of academia over .. we won’t go on! We were creamless and the scone itself was relatively tasteless in spite of it’s exotic contents. The whole plastic cutlery, paper cup experience was totally out of keeping with such a ‘quality’ environment. Inexplicable and headbangingly frustrating … a bit like the museum itself.

Clipping wings

As we write, America’s Plonker In Chief, is having his wings clipped. He has lost control of the House of Representatives. Not particularly great news for Trump but at least the US and the rest of the world can breathe a little more easily. Unfortunately, in Dundee, the closure of the Michelin tyre factory with the loss of 850 jobs, has just been announced. A hammer blow for the city. This sparkly new V&A will be no substitute for that loss.

DD1 4EZ tel: 01382 411611 V&A Dundee

Useful link: things to do in Dundee

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Vane Farm Café

1 November 2018 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

.As relatively keen birdwatchers we have been to this RSPB Reserve and Vane Farm Café at Loch Leven many times before however it’s been a couple of years since our last visit. The same cannot be said of around 30,000 geese that fly in from Greenland, Siberia and Iceland at this time every year.

Birdwatchers at Vane Farm Nature Reserve Café at Loch Leven — looking for Egbert

Egbert

It is amazing to think that these large birds can undertake such lengthy and arduous journeys. When they all take flight together, it’s an awsome sight. Vane Farm is a great place to see all sorts of birds and we had a great time, with our mini-person from the Grand Café post visiting all three hides down near the water’s edge. Lots of ducks, moorhens, coots and pheasants but the star of the show was Egbert. He’s a little egret who has made his home here for the past few years.

Skeleton’s heads

Most of our time however was spent looking for skeleton’s heads and scary spiders in a kiddie’s event which meant that we had to cover the entire reserve ticking off ‘finds’ on a sheet of paper. Great fun but it’s not too long, on a fairly brisk day, before rumbling tums are calling us back to the café area.

Exterior view of Vane Farm Nature Reserve at Loch Leven — Engineering works

Currently there is major engineering works going on around the shop and café area to make the hides wheelchair accessible. It is causing a few temporary problems for traffic on the main road as well as walkers and cyclists. By the looks of things it will soon be finished. The café above the shop is kitted out with several telescopes at a large observation window.

View from Vane Farm Nature Reserve Café at Loch Leven — They’re too far away!!!

Kids get the chance to see some of the wildlife, up close, without having to brave the elements. Typically the café is populated by folks with massive lenses on their cameras or mega telescopes slung over their shoulders. We only had our little binoculars …. amateurs! After an excellent light lunch we eventually got to our fruit scones. There was no cream but they did come with plenty butter and jam. We thoroughly enjoyed everything we had but no topscone today.

Errant nobility

Munching a scone and looking out from the cafe across Loch Leven you can clearly see Castle Island. The castle dates from 1257 and over the years has functioned as a home, a garden ornament ( a recent owner designed his entire garden on the shores of Loch Leven around the view of the castle) and on many occasions as a prison for errant nobility. It’s most illustrious prisoner was, of course, Mary Queen of Scots. In 1565 the 21 year old Mary visited the castle as a guest of Sir William Douglas, little knowing that within two years she would be incarcerated there.

Beheadings

She had already been Queen of France and her relatively short stay on this island was to be no less eventful. She recovered from a suspected poisoning attempt, miscarried twins, made several escape bids and was forced to abdicate her throne. Not much time for scones then? She escaped with the assistance of her jailers only to spend the rest of her life imprisoned in other castles. Eventually her cousin, Elizabeth I of England, on Trumped up charges (couldn’t resist the capital T) ordered her to be beheaded at the tender age of forty four. If Theresa May had the powers Elizabeth had back then how many headless politicians would be lying around today? She would be knee deep! Sorry, forgot that most of them are acting like headless chickens anyway without Theresa having any such powers.

Wizard’s wand

More importantly we found all the items in the game except the witches wand. We had to backtrack almost the whole way to find it! Won a lollipop though!

KY13 9LX tel: 01577 862355 Vane Farm Nature Reserve

Scones, Top

Mackintosh at the Willow

8 September 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

Apologies, some readers found the last post recounting the unfortunate fate of Janet Cornfoot somewhat harrowing. To make amends this post will hopefully provide something of an antidote. Less witches, something a bit more suitable for polite discourse over a scone.

Three years ago we were in the Willow Tearooms and thoroughly enjoyed it. However, that was in Glasgow’s Buchanan Street. There’s another one in Hope Street. However, today we are in the very original tearoom set up by Cate Cranston in 1903 in Sauchiehall Street. It takes its name from the street, ‘sauchie’ meaning willow. Cate was a little eccentric and quite a character so it is perhaps not all together surprising that she hired the local up and coming architect, Charles Rennie Mackintosh to design everything. Right down to the cutlery and the serving staff’s uniforms.

Mackintosh, of course, went on to become internationally famous for his individual work and as one of the founders of the Glasgow Style. It’s ironic and very sad that from here you can actually see the remains of one of his masterpieces, the Glasgow School of Art. It went up in flames just a few weeks ago.

Genteel

From the moment you enter Mackintosh at the Willow however there is no mistaking who designed it. It’s a kind of immersive experience and one that makes you proud to be Scottish and lucky to have Glasgow as the country’s biggest city. Following its £10m refurb however it is more of a tearoom complex. 200 covers, split across four tea rooms and featuring a Visitor Centre and a dedicated Learning & Education suite for schools …. wow! Once again we were late in the day but warmly welcomed nevertheless. ‘Genteel’ is definitely order of the day and we can do genteel. Okay it requires a bit of effort but we can do it!

Every table is equipped with a hand bell with which to summon a maiden. That’s what the waitresses in the original tearoom were known as. To us, using it would have felt ostentatious and embarrassing, but some people were dinging away merrily. Probably foreigners, you know what they are like! They have an excellent menu for lunch but, predictably perhaps, we just wanted a scone … boring! Our ‘maiden’ was delightful and soon had us sorted. The scone was much bigger than we had expected but everything was presented on white tablecloths and beautiful willow pattern crockery.

As you know, we like local produce and would have thought that such a place as this would have had its own ‘Mackintosh at the Willow’ brand jam. However, Mrs Bridges of Arbroath, is not too too unlocal, if you see what we mean. In spite of its size the scone was delicious. When combined with jam and clotted cream made for an overall first class experience.

Later, we found out that this place was not actually officially open for business. It had been operating for the past few weeks in an attempt to iron out any wrinkles and train the staff who all come via the Princes Trust. They seem to have done a pretty thorough job because we did not experience any problems. Didn’t even have to use the bell once!

Madness

If you are reading this today, 8th September 2018, the official opening by the Duke of Rothesay and the Duchess of Cornwall is actually happening as you read. We wish the whole bold and inspiring venture the very best of luck for the future … Cate and Charles would have been proud that the Willow Tea Rooms Trust has resurrected this institution so magnificently for the benefit of generations to come … well done them! The madness of Brexit and Trump seems far far away when you are in Mackintosh at the Willow … mission accomplished!

Interior view at Mackintosh at the Willow, Glasgow — upstairs

G2 3EX tel: 0141 204 1903 Macintosh at the Willow

Ordinary, Scones

The Clock Tower Café

4 September 2018 billpaterson1@me.com 2 Comments

Here we are back in Pittenweem. The Pop-up Café we reviewed at the beginning of August during the week-long Pittenweem Arts Festival has disappeared. Doubtless to reappear next year at the same time. However, you don’t need an arts festival as an excuse to visit this little seaside village. It’s great to visit anytime and this time we are in the Clock Tower Café. When you look at the multitude of picturesque little lanes and wynds you could be forgiven for thinking that nothing much, other than some fishing and the odd arts festival, has ever happened here. Looks can be deceiving however. ‘Twas not always thus! The Clock Tower, which takes

External view at the Clock Tower Café, Pittenweem — The Tolbooth from the Clock Tower Café

its name from the nearby Tolbooth, can give an insight into livelier, if more disturbing, times.

In 1705, Patrick Morton, son of a local blacksmith, made a series of witchcraft accusations against some of his neighbours which resulted in them all being unquestioningly incarcerated in pitch black dungeons underneath the Tolbooth, part of the Parish Church.

No luck

Some starved to death but one, Janet Cornfoot, managed to escape. She got about ten miles to the village of Leuchers where she sought help from the local minister, George Gordon. He was more interested in the reward for her recapture, however, so she was promptly returned to Pittenweem. No luck!

There, a mob tied her up, beat her severely, and dragged her by the ankles down to the harbour where she was dangled upside down from the masthead of one of the boats. People then threw rocks at her as she swung to and fro. Still no luck! Eventually she was taken down and a door placed on top of her which was then laden with heavy rocks to crush her. Finally, a horse and cart was driven over her before she was thrown in an unmarked grave having been refused a Christian burial. Oh Janet, if it wasn’t for bad luck! In the end, Morton, who made the original accusations, proved to be a thoroughly untrustworthy liar. However no action was ever taken against him or any of the mob.

Church of Scotland

When we recoil in disgust at some of the barbarous acts beamed into our living rooms from around the Middle East in the name of religion, it is perhaps salutary to bear in mind that, not that long ago, the Church in Scotland was behaving in an equally barbaric fashion. Thank goodness it is slightly more enlightened nowadays.
Anyway, even though Janet Cornfoot was undoubtedly dragged down the High Street past this place on her way to the harbour we did not let that put us off. No, no, no, the Clock Tower had scones, so in we went with barely a passing thought for poor Janet. There’s a few tables in the front part of the café but we went through to an area at the rear where there were plenty more. The staff were lovely. They quickly had us sorted with a light lunch and a scone to share.

There was lots going on with people coming and going all the time and exchanging banter. It had a nice friendly atmosphere. The scone was a slightly odd shape but good nevertheless … no topscone but good. Pittenweem is fortunate to have many good cafés.

Janet and Donald

Back then, however, Janet Cornfoot needn’t have turned to Donald Trump for sympathy or understanding. We are not huge John McCain fans, he was a bit of a warmonger, but he did spend more than five years as a POW in Vietnam and that must have been tough. So when Trump said “he’s not a war hero, he was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.” presumably he wouldn’t have got on well with Janet. Probably would have been part of the mob. That figures, doesn’t it?

View at the Clock Tower Café, Pittenweem — one of the many tiny lanes

Extraordinary achievments

Recently the SNP became the second largest political party in the UK, overtaking the Conservatives. An extraordinary achievement when you consider they represent only 8% of the UK population. Also, at a time when the UK needs a strong opposition like never before, the Labour Party, by far the biggest party in the UK, manages to render itself worse than useless over a mere form of words. An extraordinary achievement. As a result the third largest party in the UK remains all powerful. While simultaneously making a complete mess of things. Also an extraordinary achievement. If our Janet had a grave she would be spinning.

KY10 2LA tel: 01333 313111 Clock Tower Café TA

Ordinary, Scones

Crail Harbour Gallery

24 August 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

Back around the middle of the 16th century the union between Scotland and France was very strong. It was founded on the understanding that Scottish royalty would marry French royalty and vice versa. To this end James V married Madeleine of Valois in Paris in 1537. Later that year, as Queen Madeleine, she arrived in Leith amidst great celebration. Six months later, however, she died. Never mind, within a year James married another French princess, Mary of Guise. She was shipped over to Scotland together with some 2,000 lords and barons. Bet you thought mail-order brides were a relatively recent phenomenon!

Miscalculations

She was supposed to land at St Andrews but due to a miscalculation by the captain, she landed at Crail instead. Her first night in Scotland was at Balcomie Castle. All was well however because, when she eventually did cover the last ten miles to St Andrews, there followed several days of bounteous merriment. She, of, course would eventually become mother to Mary Queen of Scots. The rest, as they say, is history.

This slightly verbose introduction is simply to say that today we are in Crail, a beautiful little fishing village on the East Neuk of Fife. Apparently, at one time, it could easily be mistaken for St Andrews if looking at it through squinty eyes from the sea. Just up the hill from the harbour we came across the Crail Harbour Gallery and Tearoom. It owes its existence to the artist D S MacKie. He converted the 17th century storage space into a gallery for his own work.

That time of year

The interior is small but it has an even smaller garden area where you can sit and take in fabulous sea views. On a lovely sunny day like this it was glorious to sit out. However we were eventually driven inside by wasps … it’s that time of year again, shame.

The girls looking after us were very warm and welcoming. They took our random table changes in their stride though they were probably cursing us under their breath. A light lunch was, of course, followed by a scone which we shared. It came nicely presented with everything you would want for a good scone, plus, a little piece of Scottish tablet on the side. We will eat healthy tomorrow … honest! The scone was very enjoyable and because of the great service and presentation we swithered hard about a topscone. Eventually we decided that the scone itself just didn’t quite do it … pity!

One of the many noteable things about Crail is the weathervane on the Tolbooth building. Rather than the cockerel of weather vane tradition, it is a smoked haddock … fab!

View of Crail Harbour — *The Gallery and Tearoom is to the right of this picture*

Balcomie Castle where Queen Mary spent her first night is also haunted by a small boy who misbehaved about 400 years ago. They threw him in the keep for a few hours to teach him a lesson but went away forgetting about him. He starved to death!

Bigger keep please

We can think of a few politicians who could do with a few hours in the keep. However, just when you are trying to pick one: May, Johnstone, Corbyn, Rees Mogg, Trump, Australia has to go and get in on the act. Their own chaotic elections have produced a brand new shiny PM, Scott Morrison! We really are spoiled for choice. We need a bigger keep!

KY10 3SU tel: 01333 451896 Crail Gallery and Tearoom

Ordinary, Scones

Kerrera Tea Garden

20 July 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

When it comes to Scottish Independence many people who voted NO in the 2014 referendum have been posting on social media “My Journey to YES”. Well this is similar but, of course, it is more “Our journey to a SCONE”! Let us explain. Some scones can be relatively difficult to come by but that is generally down to cost e.g. Claridges, the Connaught, rather than geographical location.

Gallanach Ferry from the Isle of Kerrera — Gallanach Ferry only takes 12 people, no cars. If you are number 13 you have to wait for it to come back. We had to wait for it to come back three times

Getting there

Getting to the Kerrera Tea Garden however involves a road trip to Oban, a ferry and then an hours walk over rough hill track. That’s just to get there … and the same back! There is nothing along the way other than sheep but luckily they have easy to follow signposts to guide the weary traveller. Although the day was quite cloudy it was hot so by the time we came on that last sign we were extremely relieved. Stomach and arthritic joints were screaming for sustenance and rest.

The Kerrera Tea Garden is exactly what it says. A fairly large garden in which there are lots of tables where you can sit and have tea. If the weather ever gets inclement, perish the thought, there is the Byre, a rustic but charming converted cowshed.

Inside the Byre at the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of Kerrera — The Byre

Sacre Blue

We were attended to by a very mannerly young chap who was obviously not a local. He was from Singapore and was studying law in London. Goodness knows how he found his way here for a summer job? The scones are made fresh every morning so after a light lunch we thought they should be sampled. We couldn’t come all this way and not sample the scones after all! Unfortunately they were a tad disappointing. Just a little on the solid side and with a slightly sweet taste that wasn’t to our liking. They weren’t bad but not a topscone. Pity, because everything else about this place is fantastic. If you ever get the chance you should definitely visit, it’s worth the effort.

When we arrived there was a party of six French folk who were explaining that they just wanted coffee because they had their own sandwiches … mais non, sacre blue, mon dieu! Perhaps it is just as well we are leaving the EU! They were politely told to take themselves off to thonder distant hill to have their picnic. When we were leaving they were making their way back for their coffee and didn’t seem at all put out. The Auld Alliance is intact!

View of Gylen Castle on the Isle of Kerrera — The ruined Gylen Castle overlooking the Firth of Lorne

buy cialis pill cute-n-tiny.com The blood supply into the erection containers made of spongy tissue called as corpus cavernosum to relax and smoothen. Epillsrx.com offers levitra best price at a 100% lowest-price guarantee, which ensures customers that they have received from the online course and it remains fresh and clear in the mind. Hair follicles have a sensitivity to DHT – so when the DHT is present in discover address now cialis cheapest the follicles, it makes them miniaturize – resulting in an abnormal production of the hormone adrenocorticotropin. This issue cialis canada generico might not be a matter of life and death in some extreme cases. We finished off our visit with the short walk from the Tea Garden to Gylen Castle which sits on the southern tip of the island. It was built in 1582 by the Clan MacDougall but was besieged then burned by Covenanters in 1647. Ironically the siege was successful because of a shortage of water. The castle’s spring was insufficient in the prevailing dry spell so the MacDougalls surrendered. The same would have happened today where we have almost forgotten what rain looks like! When William Turner visited in 1831, he was fascinated by the ruin and made several sketches of the castle which are now in London’s Tate Gallery.

View of Ben Cruachan from the Isle of Kerrera — Looking east with twin peaks of Ben Cruachan in the middle distance

Sheep talk

On our return walk to the ferry we were almost deafened at one point by sheep baaing to each other … baa, baa, baa, baa. The noise was incredible! We came to the conclusion that they must have been discussing the effects of Brexit on the Common Agricultural Policy. They were making much more sense than our Westminster parliamentarians! After Trump’s visit to see May in London and Putin in Helsinki, I said to Pat “I think Trump’s a very clever man”, then, when I saw the look on her face, had to explain that I had misspoken and what I actually meant to say was that he was a complete and utter idiot.

Ex KGB, Vladamir Putin is beginning to look like the only sane politician around and that says something! Our “journey to a scone” was one of the most enjoyable in a long time. A big fat YES to the Kerrera Tea Garden.

PA34 4SX tel: 01631 566367 Kerrera Tea Garden

ps: This is the only telephone box on the Isle of Kerrera and as you can see it is a K6. No manufacturer’s badge so it could be either Falkirk, Kirkintilloch or Glasgow in origin. Now it functions, not as a telephone box, but as the only shop on the island … selling postcards.

Telephone cables

If you found that interesting here is another little snippet that will be of interest to all those who have spent restless nights wondering where the first subsea transatlantic telephone cable came ashore in the UK. Well wonder no more, it was here at Little Horsehoe Bay on Kerrera in 1956. It operated until 1978 and the other end was in Clarenville, Newfoundland. You can now rest easy.

View of first trans Atlantic telephone cable landing point on the Isle of Kerrera — Little Horseshoe Bay with Oban in the distance. In 1263 Horseshoe Bay housed a fleet of one hundred and twenty longship galleys under the command of Norwegian King Haakon 1. More recently, it provided all the lobsters for Cunard’s transatlantic liners.

Wilting

We met loads of tourists, some walking, some on bikes, all were complaining about the heat! They said that the publicity for holidays in Scotland had not prepared them for weeks of hot dry weather. C’est la vie … haste ye back!

Scones, Top

Ochiltree’s at Abbotsford

13 July 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

For a very long time we have been promising ourselves a visit to Abbotsford House. It was the home of Sir Walter Scott … poet, nove

Statue of Edie Ochiltree at Abbotsford House — Edie Ochiltree statue

list, historian, biographer and inventor of the shortbread tin view of Scotland. If he was alive today we’re sure he would have been a blogger of note! The new Borders Railway took us from Waverley Station in Edinburgh (named after one of Scott’s novels) to Tweedbank where there was a complimentary bus waiting to take us on the five minute ride to Abbotsford itself.

Scott died of typhus aged sixty one but left a lasting legacy of literature as well as this house which he spent much of his life building at huge expense.

Clarty Hole

For readers who think that financial crashes are a relatively modern phenomena, in Scotland it’s a bit of a long standing tradition. Scott was caught in the crash of 1825 and was ruined, owing almost £10m in today’s money, It says much for the man that, rather than become a bankrupt, he placed his income and property in a trust belonging to his creditors, and decided to write his way out of debt. Ironically, this strategy only succeeded after his death, due to the continuing sales of his literary works. Anyway, back in 1811 he purchased the old tumbledown Cartley Hole Farm. Locally, the farm was known as Clarty Hole (dirty hole) so Scott determined it should be renamed Abbotsford after the nearby ford used by the monks at Melrose Abbey.

External view of Ochiltree Dining, Abbotsford House — Abbotsford Visitor Centre and Ochiltree’s retaurant

After Brexit?

Today the house is a major tourist attraction and of course comes complete with its own rather swanky visitor centre and cafeteria known as Ochiltree’s at Abbotsford after Edie Ochiltree, a beggar, and one of Scott’s favourite characters in The Antiquary. Yet another hot day so we decided to sit out on the spacious balcony. We could look over towards the house nestling in between the soft borders hills on the banks of the river Tweed. We were taken care of very well, mostly by folks from eastern Europe. Who will do that after Brexit? Will we have to carry our own scones? Perish the thought! Pat elected to have a cream tea which consisted of some sandwiches, a scone and a piece of lemon drizzle cake whereas I was not so ambitious and simply went for a fruit scone. We actually shared everything!

The whole Abbotsford experience is wonderful. We didn’t go into the house – not enough time. However the gardens and walks through the woods down by the riverside are fabulous on such a fine day. And to top it all off with a topscone. What more could you ask?

External view of Abbotsford House — Abbotsford House from the banks of the river Tweed

Rubbing along

Today England is being Trumped and tomorrow it will be Scotland’s turn …. arrgghh. Are we starting to warm to the man, however?? Perhaps he is the only honest politician around these days? Even though you don’t like what he is saying, or the way he is saying it, he just says it and doesn’t really care what anyone thinks. Quite refreshing when compared to most of his mealy-mouthed counterparts. Yesterday he was saying Theresa May was a complete waste of space. Tell us something we don’t know Donald. Today he will probably be praising her. Make of it what you will. Apparently our beggar, Edie Ochiltree told it like it was so we have a sneaky suspicion that even though Scott was an educated man, he and Trump would have rubbed along okay. Maybe over a scone at Ochiltree’s at Abbotsford

TD6 9BQ tel: 01896 752043 Ochiltree Dining

ps: A notice board on the pavement outside the Cafe Royal in Edinburgh, now in its 155th year. Scott may have gone to the original which was on the opposite side of the Register Place. Do you think they could say the same about scones … perish the thought!

How to spend money

Strutting

The scones come two by two

Looking back at 2018

2018 politics

Enough of 2018, what about 2019?

Raspberry Ripple

News

Rumbling tums

HAL

Egbert

Skeleton’s heads

Errant nobility

Beheadings

Wizard’s wand

Genteel

Madness

No luck

Church of Scotland

Janet and Donald

Extraordinary achievments

Miscalculations

That time of year

Bigger keep please

Getting there

Sacre Blue

Sheep talk

Telephone cables

Wilting

Clarty Hole

After Brexit?

Rubbing along

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics