Tag Archives: Donald Trump

The Strynd Tearoom – Again

13 May 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

This scone from the Strynd Tearoom on Orkney goes back a couple of years. As the current lockdown gives us time to ponder on the current state of our civilisation, Orkney might make you question how far we have progressed over the past 5000 years. After Boris’s long-awaited public announcement you could be forgiven for thinking, ‘not very far’. We should know by now that when he opens his mouth all that c omes out is lies and confusion. But give him some credit. It’s all designed, in the event of another COVID flare up, to put the blame squarely on us … you didn’t STAY ALERT! Anyway, 2 years ago or 5000 years ago…

The wind is still blowing with wicked enthusiasm. In spite of that, our plan for today is to visit the west of Mainland … Skara Brae and all that, and end up in Kirkwall, the capital. Most sconeys will know something of the rich archaeology of Orkney.

Skara Brae and Skaill House at Sandwick on Orkney — 5000-year-old Skara Brae neolithic village with Skaill House in the distance

Up here they were building houses and having a high old time of it long before things like the Pyramids and Stonehenge had even been thought of. However, our abiding memory of Skara Brae will be of getting sandblasted by the wind coming off the beach. Certainly gives you a rosy complexion.

Stormy weather at Skara Brae at Sandwick on Orkney — Orkney weather is dramatic and changes every five minutes

Another problem with the wind is holding your binoculars steady enough to identify birds.

Cobwebs

We had no problem though with a brilliant view of a female hen harrier not far from Skara Brae. It is a thrill to see these relatively rare birds because they rather stupidly nest on the ground. As a result, their young usually fall foul of predators before they can fledge. Pat’s list is now over forty which she is thrilled about. However, her joy was such that it was all I could do to stop her stealing a road sign to one of the local villages. Completely cobweb free, we eventually made it to Kirkwall and the Strynd Tearoom.

Go north for scones

Like Stromness, Kirkwall also has lots of wee lanes and this tearoom takes its name from the lane where its located. When we asked how to pronounce ‘Strynd’. It seemed to be “Strand’ but with the strangulated pronunciation that maybe a South African would use. It is a tiny place but lovely and everything is home made. Once again we were made very welcome and once again our scones were excellent. We are developing a theory that the further north you go the better the scones are. We have had nothing but topscones recently. The Strynd scone was warm and served with nice pots of jam and cream. The scone itself looked as if it would be crunchy but wasn’t. It was gloriously soft and absolutely delicious … another topscone!

The Big Tree

Now, while most of you will have heard of the Ring of Brodgar and other Orcadian archaeological gems, how many of you have heard of The Big Tree? Or how many have heard of the Heimskringla? Thought so … let us explain.

Everything is relative

Heimskringla is a book of Old Norse sagas written in Iceland in the 12th century … you’ve probably read it. The Big Tree is the only one left of three that were planted by Robert Laing, father of the Heimskringla’s translator, in his garden over 200 years ago. When they widened the main street by demolishing Laing’s walled garden this tree was left standing in the street. When you look at it you might wonder why it’s called The Big Tree? Well, in Orkney terms, it is! And it is obviously much loved. It still supports a luxurious head of leaves although largely hollow. And it is supported by steel girders inserted in its trunk to keep it upright.

DNA

What else has been happening in the big bad world while we have been enjoying ourselves on this island. Here, you quickly feel kind of snugly insulated from the outside world? The media is still largely ignoring the biggest political conference in the UK. The SNP conference. They are concentrating instead on the sexual indiscretions of a Hollywood director that few have heard of and no one could care less about.

Theresa May is still clinging on like a barnacle while Britain skillfully negotiates a “no deal‘, Brexit. Catalonia seems to have rather skillfully blindsided the Spanish government … for the moment! Trump’s big golf courses in Scotland seem to be losing a fortune … bad! Scotland’s football team is no longer eligible for another pointless World Cup competition because of our DNA according to the manager … good! Well, well, well … the Big Tree has seen it all before.

Scapa distillery, Scapa, Orknay — Scapa distillery in the distance on the shores of Scapa Flow

KW15 1HG tel: 01856 871552 The Strynd Tearoom

Forgiveness

Pat bought me a bottle of Scapa, one of my favourite whiskies, while we were at the distillery. Mind you it was only because of a guilty conscience. Previously, unbeknown to me, she had given away my one and only bottle. All was forgiven.

Change

Has anyone else noticed a subtle but profound change in the media’s reporting of the coronavirus crisis? When Nicola Sturgeon is forced to clear up the confusion by saying “When Boris Johson speaks, he speaks only for England” it marks a change. And now the media refers to “the four nations of the UK” where previously most of them wouldn’t even have countenanced Scotland as a nation at all. This is all very welcome but where will it all end?

ORKNEY SHED

island, Top

The Puffer Bar – Again

10 May 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

The Puffer Bar takes us back to 2015 when Greece was teetering on the edge of bankruptcy and having to be bailed out by the EU.

How are you all getting on in coronavirus isolation? It is odd to think that the whole world is experiencing the same thing. Only, of course, it is not the same for everyone, far from it. We really feel for people who don’t have the luxury of a nice house and a large garden. It tempers our criticism of those apparently flouting the rules of lockdown but we still wish they wouldn’t. Thankfully we have the Donald “Covid-19 might go away this fall or next year – or sooner, or possibly later” to give us advice … and hope! We actually prefer the advice of our own Scottish novelist J.M. Barrie which seems apt for the current situation: “The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does.”

The tiny island of Easdale once had a population of over 500, all of whom were employed in the slate mining industry. Slate was exported as far as Australia, Canada and New Zealand. However, the last slate was cut in the 1950s and most of the houses are now holiday homes with a steady population of around 60. Easdale island lies off another island, Seil, but you can reach Seil via the Bridge over the Atlantic.

Part of the large village green at Easdale

World Championships

There is no bridge to Easdale however so to get there from Seil you have to press two buttons simultaneously on the jetty at Ellenabeich village. This summons the little ferry boat which only takes a couple of minutes to do the crossing. Once on Easdale, the whole island is car-free so peace and quiet reigns supreme. Just the sound of the sea and the birds, what a great place for kids to play. However, this idyll is broken every September when hordes of enthusiasts descend on the place for the annual World Stone Skimming Championships. The competition takes place in one of the old quarries.

You have the choice of one pub, the Puffer Bar and Restaurant, take it or leave it. Luckily it is a wee gem. On a wonderfully warm day like this, it was like a little bit of heaven. Especially with our homebaked scones and homemade jam. Ours was bramble and lime. The scones were wonderfully light and the tea delicious. As we sit here we read that the new euro is to be printed on Greece proof paper. This really does seem like another world.
A man suffering cheap cialis 5mg from impotence lives under depression. It can make us doubt ourselves. overnight generic cialis During osteoporosis bone levitra professional micro architecture deteriorates, and the amount and variety of proteins in bone is altered leaving bones prone to fracture even from a slight blow. They improve your stamina levitra generic for happy activities in the bed.

View from Ellenabeich towards Mull and the ferry terminal on the left.

PA34 4TB tel: 01852 300022 www.pufferbar.com

Even with COVID-19 we suspect that life on Easdale has proceeded pretty much the same as always. According to the internet the Puffer is still open and what if it is? The island doesn’t have COVID and no one can travel there so what’s the problem. The problem is that we can’t get there either!!!

EASDALE SHED

Shed and washing line on Isle of Easdale — A shed on a fine drying day on the Isle of Easdale

island, Ordinary, Scones

The Boathouse – Again

26 April 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

The news that this coronavirus isolation business may last another year is extremely unwelcome. Although we have got into a routine whereby the whole thing has become quite pleasant and enjoyable we still want it to end. And the sooner the better! The weather, of course, has definitely helped. But another year? We miss our family/friends and this year, of course, we are missing the company of our wonderful guests from around the world. Worst of all, if it’s going to take that long, we are worried that we may not have enough scones to repost. Yeah, we hear you cry! Okay, okay but you don’t get off that easily. It’s an unbelievable five years since we were at the Boathouse on God’s Island, the Isle of Gigha.

The Boathouse is a great spot near to the ferry terminal at Ardminish Bay on Gigha. It has a wide range of food on offer and is open into the evening for dinner and drinks. Unfortunately, when we visited it seemed to be in a state of chaos with staff doing headless chicken impersonations. Although it was not busy we waited a long time before having to ask to be served .. not good! The situation only seemed to be resolved with the return of the manageress or owner, not sure which. It has won several awards and people we spoke to praised it quite highly. So hopefully, this was just a temporary blip. Gigha is not exactly bristling with fancy eateries so we sincerely hope so.

When they eventually arrived, our tea and scones were quite good and it was great to be sitting outside with the sun on our backs. They were nicely presented on a small breadboard with a wedge of butter but it was a pity the cream was not quite up to the ‘clotted’ standard.

Honourable?

Standards are not quite up to the mark in that disgrace of a place, the House of Lords. The honourable Lord in charge of standards has reportedly been found snorting cocaine off the breasts of prostitutes. All paid for by you and I. They set the bar that high so they can then decide what is good for the rest of us! The Boathouse, on the other hand, is a far superior House and, if time had allowed, we would have tried an evening meal because the menu looked very enticing .. next time!

One of the numerous beaches on Gigha looking towards Jura

PA41 7AA tel: 01583 505123 The Boathouse

Back in 2020, with Trump having taken to issuing medical advice we are dreading what we might find when our local pub opens up again. Thanks to our Trossachs correspondents for the warning. On a brighter note, we saw our first swallow the other day, just arrived from South Africa. Remember when we used to be able to do that?

GIGHA SHED

Shed on the Isle of Gigha — Disused pier at the north of the island where they park the Ardminish ferry overnight

Ordinary, Scones

Kerrera Tea Garden – Again

22 April 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

The government’s Department of Weasel Words has gone into overdrive trying to justify their pathetic response to coronavirus and the BBC has taken to only reporting on NHS England. Should we be surprised? Well, back in 2018, we were at the Kerrera Tea Garden and as you will see we were still smarting from being cheated out of Scotland’s independence in 2014. The defeat was brought about by a coalition of Labour, Conservative and media lies. What really surprised us the most was that we were surprised. We knew they could stoop very low, just not that low. Anyway, let’s go back two years.

When it comes to Scottish Independence many people who voted NO in the 2014 referendum have been posting on social media “My Journey to YES”. Well, this is similar but, of course, it’s more “Our journey to a SCONE”! Let us explain. Some scones can be relatively difficult to come by but that is generally down to cost e.g. Claridges, the Connaught, rather than geographical location.

Gallanach Ferry from the Isle of Kerrera — Gallanach Ferry only takes 12 people, no cars. If you are number 13 you have to wait for it to come back. We had to wait for it to come back three times

Getting there

Getting to the Kerrera Tea Garden, however, involves a road trip to Oban, a passenger ferry and then an hour’s walk over rough hill track. That’s just to get there … and the same back! There is nothing along the way other than sheep but luckily they have easy to follow signposts to guide the weary traveller. Although the day was quite cloudy it was hot so by the time we came on that last sign we were extremely relieved. Stomach and arthritic joints were screaming for sustenance and rest.

The Kerrera Tea Garden is exactly what it says. A fairly large garden in which there are lots of tables where you can sit and have tea. If the weather ever gets inclement, perish the thought, there is the Byre, a rustic but charming converted cowshed.

Inside the Byre at the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of Kerrera — The Byre

Sacre Bleu

We were attended to by a very mannerly young chap who was obviously not a local. He was from Singapore and was studying law in London. Goodness knows how he found his way here for a summer job? The scones are made fresh every morning so after a light lunch we thought they should be sampled. We couldn’t come all this way and not sample the scones after all! Unfortunately, they were a tad disappointing. Just a little on the solid side and with a slightly sweet taste that wasn’t to our liking. They weren’t bad but not a topscone. Pity, because everything else about this place is fantastic. If you ever get the chance you should definitely visit, it’s worth the effort.

When we arrived there was a party of six French folks who were explaining that they just wanted coffee because they had their own sandwiches … mais non, sacre blue, mon Dieu! Perhaps it is just as well we are leaving the EU! They were politely told to take themselves off to yonder distant hill to have their picnic. When we were leaving they were making their way back for their coffee and didn’t seem at all putout. The Auld Alliance is intact!

View of Gylen Castle on the Isle of Kerrera — The ruined Gylen Castle overlooking the Firth of Lorne

We finished off our visit with the short walk from the Tea Garden to Gylen Castle which sits on the southern tip of the island. It was built in 1582 by the Clan MacDougall but was besieged then burned by Covenanters in 1647. Ironically the siege was successful because of a shortage of water. The castle’s spring was insufficient in the prevailing dry spell so the MacDougalls surrendered. The same would have happened today where we have almost forgotten what rain looks like! When William Turner visited in 1831, he was fascinated by the ruin and made several sketches of the castle which are now in London’s Tate Gallery.

View of Ben Cruachan from the Isle of Kerrera — Looking east with twin peaks of Ben Cruachan in the middle distance

Sheep talk

On our return walk to the ferry we were almost deafened at one point by sheep talking to each other. Their exact words were “baa, baa, baa, baa, baa.” The noise was incredible! We came to the conclusion that they must have been discussing the effects of Brexit on the Common Agricultural Policy. They were making much more sense than our Westminster parliamentarians! After Trump’s visit to see May in London and Putin in Helsinki, I said to Pat “I think Trump’s a very clever man“, then, when I saw the look on her face, had to explain that I had misspoken and what I actually meant to say was that he was a complete and utter idiot.

Ex KGB, Vladamir Putin is beginning to look like the only sane politician around and that says something! Our “journey to a scone” was one of the most enjoyable in a long time. A big fat YES to the Kerrera Tea Garden.
PA34 4SX tel: 01631 566367 Kerrera Tea Garden

ps: This is the only telephone box on the Isle of Kerrera and as you can see it is a K6. No manufacturer’s badge so it could be either Falkirk, Kirkintilloch or Glasgow in origin. Now it functions, not as a telephone box, but as the only shop on the island … selling postcards.

Telephone cables

If you found that interesting here is another little snippet that will be of interest to all those who have spent restless nights wondering where the first subsea transatlantic telephone cable came ashore in the UK. Well wonder no more, it was here at Little Horsehoe Bay on Kerrera in 1956. It operated until 1978. The other end was in Clarenville, Newfoundland. You can now rest easy.

View of first trans Atlantic telephone cable landing point on the Isle of Kerrera — Little Horseshoe Bay with Oban in the distance. In 1263 Horseshoe Bay housed a fleet of one hundred and twenty longship galleys under the command of Norwegian King Haakon 1. More recently, it provided all the lobsters for Cunard’s transatlantic liners.

Wilting

We met loads of tourists, some walking, some on bikes, all were complaining about the heat! They said that the publicity for holidays in Scotland had not prepared them for weeks of hot dry weather. C’est la vie … haste ye back!

These days, the Kerrera Tea Garden and that ‘journey to a scone’ seem almost otherworldly.

KERRERA SHED

With everyone preoccupied with social distancing, we don’t particularly want to get into a deep philosophical debate about sheds. However, “When is a shed, not a shed?”. For example, is a wooden garage not just a shed with big doors or do the doors define it as something else? Is a shed with large windows a summerhouse and therefore no longer a shed? We don’t know the answer but you will be relieved to hear that I don’t photograph garages or summerhouses even if they are still sheds.

A shed on the Isle of Kerrera — Okay, it’s a composting toilet .. but still a shed. Near the tearoom and Gylen Castle

I knew it was a mistake in our COVID-19 Newsflash post creating new categories willy-nilly however I did not expect my better half to join in. It raises yet another philosophical question “When is a scone not a scone?’. When it’s a cheese muffin, that’s when! These muffins were absolutely delicious but definitely not scones and shouldn’t really have a place on this blog however in the interests of domestic harmony here is the picture. To be fair, we managed to swap four cheese muffins for three of our neighbour’s tomato plants making one cheese muffin worth 0.75 tomato plants. Fantastic, a sign of the times perhaps?

All this isolation stuff has driven the world mad. We have even heard rumours of Texas folks baking scones … unbelievable! It’s just a rumour.

Ordinary, Scones

Galmisdale Bay Café – Again

15 April 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

“Yes, he’s an idiot with zero common sense and no social skills, but he is my son. I just hope he never goes into politics. He would be a disaster” Mary Anne Trump. Thus spoke the mother of the man who assures us that he has complete control over everything! As if coronavirus wasn’t scary enough! This is the fourth “island scone’ repost and it’s from Galmisdale Bay Café on the wonderful Isle of Eigg. It dates back to 2017, a time when doves in wishing trees proved useless.

Galmisdale Bay Café is, of course on the Isle of Eigg, an island we know well through having looked at it from all sorts of places on the mainland. Often you look out and can be confused by the jumble of small islands off the west coast but because of the unique volcanic Sgurr of Eigg this island is unmistakable. Until today though we had never set foot on it. The little ferry from Arisaig, however, changed all that … exciting. What would it be like, would they have scones?

Multicultural

Well, in 1858, Hugh Miller described the locals as “an active, middle-sized race, with well-developed heads, acute intellects, and singularly warm feelings” … no mention of scones but had anything else changed since then? Quite a lot actually! Having gone from a population of around 500 in the 19th century to around 50 in 1997, it has since been rejuvenated by a community buy-out from the previous private landlord. The population now stands at 105 … split 50/50 Scottish /English with a smattering of French and Spanish.

Old tractor on the Isle of Eigg with Rum in the distance — From Cleadale looking towards Rum with a tractor that hasn’t moved recently

We’re here for a few days and can happily report that nothing has changed in the “singularly warm feelings” department. We were greeted with open arms everywhere we went. You will have to forgive us if we post more pictures than usual. The scenery, the island, the weather, the people were all fantastic. We may even be able to persuade you to go there yourselves. Though sometimes it is not as straight forward as you might think.

Washing drying at Cleadale on the Isle of Eigg — Our washing drying in Cleadale

Rigours endured

The biggest problem is getting accommodation because everything is fully booked. Transport can also be a problem because you are not allowed to take a car. Hopefully, the extra pictures will also give you a sense of the rigours we have to endure in order to bring you scone news from such remote places. War correspondents like Orla Guerin don’t know the half of it! To get a small taste of the difficulties we have to overcome, click here. Sometimes we have even had to sit staring out the window, glass in hand.

Sunset on the Isle of Eigg looking towards Rum — View from our window at 11pm

Did they have scones, we hear you cry! Yes, of course, they did and they were so fresh that the cook had to make us wait until they had cooled down a bit. Don’t get fresher than that! Even when we eventually got them he said it was pointless giving us cream because it would just melt. Yet more rigours – creamless scones. We didn’t get a picture of the café interior (nothing special) because we sat out the back all the time in the sunshine watching the shipping go by. Everything from massive cruise liners to kayaks.

Wishes

The scones themselves, although undeniably fresh, just didn’t quite do it for us … good, but not good enough for a topscone. Who cares when you can sit in such splendid surroundings. We were staying at Cleadale, about five miles from this café, at the other end of the island. There, just off Laig beach, there is a little remote church of St Donnan’s. Inside the church there is a wishing tree. You can write your wish on a paper dove and hang it from a branch.With Trump currently at the G20 Hamburg summit that wish has been slightly overtaken by events but don’t lose heart. If you ever visit you should still make a wish. In fact with Trump now running the world, the more wishes the better!

The singing sands on the Isle of Eigg — Singing Sands at Cleadale – the white quartz sand makes a peculiar noise when you walk on it. Pat looking to add to her bird species collection

More of everything

Pat was making a bird list for our days away and by day two she had collected over twenty different species, including Manx Shearwaters and a Golden Eagle … happy girl! I had also managed to get a few Eigg sheds for my forthcoming coffee table companion “Sheds of Scotland”. Happy boy! Next stop the Isle of Rum, hopefully, more birds, more sheds … and more scones!

PH42 4RL tel: 01687 482487 Galmisdale Bay Café Bar

Scone baking … don’t think it’s a symptom of COVID-19 but it is definitely a side effect. My brother, living in London, recently confessed to suffering from it. Who would have thought it? No pictures so it may just be a rumour he is spreading to create the illusion that he is semi-domesticated. Our cruise correspondents, on the other hand, who live in the next street but might as well be cruising for all we can see of them these days, have sent a photo. It looks like it has been a very successful exercise indeed. Well done A&A, may your side effects be long-lasting!

EIGG SHED

A shed on the Ilse of Eigg — A tumbledown shed at Laig Bay looking towards the Isle of Rhum

Scones, Top

The Bothy – Again

6 April 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 6 Comments

We figured out how to repost. It required nothing more than the download of some plugin software and the whole process becomes relatively easy. The titles in reposts will contain “again” to signify that it is not an actual revisit but just an old post being regurgitated. Text in red is new but other than that the posts will remain unaltered. This is the first of our ‘island scone” reposts from the Isle of Muck and dates back to July 2017. In the post, you will see that we say that life on Muck will go on regardless “no matter how disastrous things get in the outside world”. How prophetic!

Boris has been taken into hospital with his coronavirus symptoms but you all know about that. Get well soon Boris! Did we just say that? On to important things. Sheds are the main reason for us visiting the islands. To take photos for our book “Sheds of Scotland”. In these reposts, we have decided to add a shed here and there as a wee bit of added interest. So, if you have always wondered what a Muck shed looks like, today might be your lucky day!

We sailed into Port Mòr, the capital of the Isle of Muck, in great anticipation. For some reason, this was the culmination of a long-held ambition to actually visit Muck rather than just viewing it from a distance. Maybe it has something to do with the name? We were not to be disappointed … it is a great island. Not in size, only 2 by 0.75 miles, but it just has a lovely feel to it. It’s fertile and the land seems well-tended giving it a softer look than its neighbours Rùm and Eigg.

On the Isle of Muck looking towards Skye — Looking towards Skye in the distance with Rùm to the left

We walked the only road on the island, about 1.6 miles long, and the same Land Rover passed us five times. It was the only thing that passed.

On the main road on the Isle of Muck — Looking the other way towards Port Mòr … waiting for a corncrake to appear

Muck meat

We stopped at one point because a corncrake was calling in one of the fields. In spite of a lengthy wait, as usual, this shyest of birds did not reveal itself. Muck has been owned since 1896 by the family of Lawrence and Ewen McEwen. It currently has a population of about 38.

Internal view of the Bothy tearoom on the Isle of Muck — Everyone is outside

The island is famous for its succulent ‘Muck Meat’ derived from lambs that thrive on the rich grassland in this stress-free environment. They also breed Highland ponies using a stallion that goes by the rather impressive name of ‘Strathmashie Seumas Mhor’. You can probably tell by now that we really like Muck. And to top it all off, they had scones in Port Mòr’s, Bothy tearoom. Sometimes you can just tell as soon as you walk into a place that there is a high probability of the scones being good … so it was with the Bothy.

We were served by Jenny McEwen who had made the scones earlier in the day. They were delicious and accompanied by a generous portion of homemade apricot jam and a knob of butter. Great coffee and sitting outside in the sunshine with chickens under the table waiting for crumbs didn’t do anything to lessen our enjoyment. Easy topscone. Well done Jenny and all the ladies who were providing great service in this tearoom. We only had three hours so before long it was time to make our way back to the ferry. Guess what we came across?

K6 telephone box on the Isle of Muck — Another Lion foundry, Kirkintilloch K6

You got it … a K6 standing high above the village. They really are everywhere, though this one was looking a wee bit sorry for itself. Unusually for such items in these parts, it did not seem to have acquired an alternative use.

Port Mòr on the Isle of Muck looking towards the mainland — Port Mòr on the Isle of Muck

A quieter more peaceful world

When you are on places like this, you definitely get the feeling that no matter how disastrous things get in the outside world, life on Muck will just go on regardless. The same could be said for all the islands we visited. They are indeed another world … a quieter more peaceful world. What possible interest could Putin or Trump have here? Not a lot, and we think that the islanders themselves are very happy for it to stay that way. On the other hand, EU investment has been good for this part of the world. Let’s hope that the same level of interest is maintained, in a year or so, when such decisions are left entirely to Westminster. Don’t hold your breath though.

Pier House in Port Mòr on the Isle of Muck — Pier House in Port Mòr

All too soon the hooter sounds on the ferry signalling that we must return to some semblance of reality … boo!

PH41 2RP tel: 01687 460057/462990 The Bothy

ps: For those interested in Pat’s bird count from Arisaig, Eigg, Rùm and Muck here, it is in rough order of observation. Robin, starling, swallow, blackbird, dunnock, house sparrow, hooded crow, oystercatcher, greenfinch, song thrush, grey heron, black guillemot, cormorant, eider duck, guillemot, Manx shearwater, chaffinch, great black-backed gull, herring gull, collared dove, golden eagle, feral pigeon, sea eagle, buzzard, whitethroat, rock pipit, arctic tern, wood pigeon, pied wagtail, lesser black-backed gull, raven, kittiwake, pintail duck, gannet, skylark, rook, kestrel, wheatear, lapwing, greylag goose, goldfinch, pheasant, corn bunting, mistle thrush, corncrake (heard). That’s 44 in total.

I would give her 45 for that corncrake but I know our very strict birding mentor, RD, would not allow it. Oddly we didn’t see any swans or mallards and we just missed a storm petrel and some puffins. There were also quite a few warblers and such like that we could not positively identify. Pat was pleased with her total so that’s all that matters.

Ah, these were the days when we could just wander carefree looking for our feathered friends.

MUCK SHED

Ordinary, Scones

The Brown Palace Hotel

16 March 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

In the face of the current Caronavirus outbreak, the government is concerned for the elderly. Fair enough we thought. Then we realised that they were talking about us. The nerve! Funny how, when you get to a certain age, in spite of the fact that every limb is creaking, it still never crosses your mind that you could be classed as ‘elderly’. Now they are also saying that we have to self isolate for four months. Jings, crivvens, help ma bob! In Scottish, that phrase indicates a level of astonishment towards the very top of the scale.

Could this mean the end of sconology as we know it? Not a bit of it because today our scone comes from the Brown Palace Hotel in Denver, Colorado. Eh? Yes, yet again, another of our dedicated band of correspondents has ridden to the rescue. So it’s not us, it’s them, our USA correspondents. And this is not just any old common or garden US motel, like you might find in Schitt’s Creek this an altogether classier establishment. In their own words:

“We were staying at The Brown Palace Hotel in Denver, Colorado. It was built in terms of American history, a long time ago, circa 1892, so it’s fairly new!! The hotel’s claim to fame is the large number of celebrities who have stayed. Including almost every US President except Obama and Trump. What’s interesting is that no-one said why they didn’t stay, they were more interested in telling us that the Beatles stayed, maybe even in the same Presidential suite we had, who knows. Molly Brown, a famous survivor from the Titanic, stayed for a couple of weeks it seems, but the hotel is not named after her, just a coincidence.

Winning bulls

Another great feature if you happen to be in the hotel during the stock show is that they bring in the winning bull, right into the lobby for all to see, and smell. We missed that but did get to enjoy the very historic building and the very friendly staff.

Every day they have Afternoon Tea in the main 8 stories high atrium. It’s a beautiful room with a piano player and ladies dressed in fancy hats, with ripped jeans. It’s Colorado, things are pretty relaxed here. With all the marijuana being consumed and the thin air, everyone seems a bit light-headed.

Titanic

What could not be obtained was coffee, “no sir, this is afternoon tea, we don’t have coffee making facilities available”. Coffee was obtained from the bar, and the scones put to the test. Real clotted cream, OK. Jarred, decent brand jam, OK. But, the scones were small in stature, and basically impossible to put either cream or jam on. I did try to do the jam first in an attempt to hold it together, but it ended up looking like trifle on the plate once the cream was added. If the Titanic hit an iceberg with the consistency of the aforementioned scone, it would still be sailing today, probably spreading Covid-19 as good as any other ship. Of course, with the scone being obtained as a “perk” for being a Marriott Ambassador Elite member, therefore, no charge, I kept my disappointment to myself, and the fine folks reading here.

Colorado

Colorado is an amazing state. You go from desert-like conditions that are dry and arid, 20 C, and then climb 14,000feet to the top of Pikes Peak and it’s -5 C , all in the same day. My mum would love the drive up there, with the sheer drops of 1000 feet or more on one side and the snow piled up on the other. Now it’s the trip back home going from hand sanitizer to hand sanitizer, staying 6 feet from the nearest human as much as possible and holding your breath for the whole 2-hour flight back. Unless, of course, Mr Trump says we can’t and stops more travel”.

Gratis scones

No topscone unfortunately but we are indebted to our correspondents for their excellent report. They were right when they said that the hotel was not named after Titanic’s Molly Brown. It’s named after its founder, real estate developer, Henry Cordes Brown. The triangular plot the hotels sits on was where he used to graze his cow. Nowadays they even have colonies of bees on the roof. It’s part of their drive to be as green as possible. We were not aware that it was possible to get free scones anywhere so we will have to look into this Ambassador Elite shenanigans.

Sliced bread

We have come to the conclusion that coronavirus is the best thing since sliced bread. Judging by the news, wars have ceased, famine has been eradicated, refugees have stopped coming, climate change has become of little consequence … brill! Oh but the stock market? We don’t want to appear selfish or self-centred but will our pensions be okay? Will we ever get to stay in the Presidential Suite at the Brown Palace Hotel … and get gratis scones?? And before you ask, yes, we’re okay for toilet rolls.

CO 80202 tel: +1 303-297-3111 Brown Palace

///types.honey.funds

Scones, Top, topweird

The Little Bakery

12 March 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Today we are in South Queensferry at The Little Bakery. It’s a bit of a misnomer because once you get inside it’s really quite big. There’s a couple of seating areas at the front, another at the side and yet another downstairs at the back. The town itself is very pretty with narrow cobbled streets and quaint houses. It’s designed for horses and carts rather than the juggernauts that are here today creating chaos as they try to manoeuvre between the buildings with inches to spare.

A view of the Forth Bridge — The Forth Rail Bridge, opened exactly 130 years ago

Nothing much has changed here over the centuries other than the addition of the odd bridge or three. And, as you walk around, it’s olde worlde charm makes it very easy to forget what a crazy crazy world we live in.

A view of the Forth Road Bridge — The Forth Road Bridge and the Queensferry Crossing

Good British viruses

President Trump has just banned all travel to the US from Europe because of coronavirus. Mysteriously, the UK has an exemption, however. This must be one of the first benefits of not being in Europe or does he not realise that although we’ve left the EU, we haven’t actually physically moved. Or does Trump have an ulterior motive, a trade deal perhaps? Yes, think we’ll go with that one. Or maybe he thinks the British virus, is much healthier than those from countries that don’t speak English. Who knows what, if anything, goes on in his head? Thankfully his aides have now come out to correct everything he said.

The Chancellor, Rishi Sunak, delivered his first budget the other day. It was full of bountiful gifts for ‘the people’. The only thing lacking was any sense of a grip on reality. Apparently, the past decade has been forgotten where untold hardships were inflicted on the poor so that the rich could get richer. And it’s not as if all this austerity now puts us in a position where we have accumulated enough that we can dish out money left, right and centre. No, no, no, it will all have to be borrowed, about £100bn! Brilliant, I could be Chancellor!

Meaningless opposition

We don’t blame Boris or Rishi however, we blame Jeremy Corbyn. Having no idea what he or his party stood for, he left the people with no choice but to vote Tory and hence we end up where we are today. And he’s still there at the Dispatch Box … a totally meaningless opposition figure. Go Jeremy, just go!

This is all very well but we can hear you crying “Were there scones at the Little Bakery? Just get to the point?” Okay, yes there were!

Not only scones but an array of delicious looking baking that could easily have induced overindulgence. We maintained discipline, however, and after a light lunch, we just had our scones. Pat had fruit and I had a raspberry and chocolate chip. It had to be done! They were fab! Wonderful texture and with a lovely crunch. The only downside was messy fingers from the melting chocolate. A real dilemma when you’re not supposed to lick your fingers nowadays. We just licked anyway! Having forgotten to ask for cream we ended up not bothering. To be honest the scones were so good they didn’t need any further embellishment. This is a really nice place and we think that you would be hard pushed to have a disappointing visit. Easiest topscone in ages.

A wall of flowers at the Little Bakery, South Queensferry — A wall of flowers at the Little Bakery

Lucky, lucky, lucky

We have reviewed several scones in South Queensferry. Five years ago we reviewed the Jitter Bean Café. That was when the EU was in the process of bailing out Greece with a £50bn loan. When we left the Little Bakery we thought we would take a stroll and see how it was doing. Sadly it has gone and been changed into something else. As far as we know, Greece is still there so it must have fared a bit better. While we walked along the street we came on this large wall plaque. When you consider that back in 1817 the inhabitants of South Queensferry were indebted to the ‘liberality’ of someone for a bleaching green and some water we should be a little more thankful for what we have today. We are all very lucky really. Okay, we’re a bit short on bleaching greens but we do have water and raspberry and chocolate chip scones!

EH30 9PP tel: 0131 319 2255 Little Bakery

///disco.flesh.organisms

Scones, Top

Palm Court

7 February 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Well, here we are, our first scone since leaving Europe. The choice was either to go into some sort of maudling inward-looking period of navel-gazing or go out and have a scone. Guess which one we chose? In addition, we felt that we might as well celebrate our newfound freedom from the civilising influences of our EU friends with something a bit posh. Hence you find us closeted in the rather sumptuous confines of the Palm Court in Edinburgh’s Balmoral Hotel.

The exterior of the hotel is a marvelous confection in stone (Balmoral means “the majestic dwelling” in Gaelic) and the inside is equally elaborate. However, if you are one of those who only feel truly relaxed in the surroundings of a greasy spoon diner, this is not the place for you. On our long sconological journey, we have come to tolerate sumptuous surroundings like this with relative ease. The benefits of perseverance.

We’re here because one of the advantages of writing a scone blog is that friends and family tend to buy us gifts in line with our interests … and, as you know, we have very narrow interests. So it was on this occasion, a complimentary champagne afternoon tea … yeah! Many thanks to our benefactors. We were on time. The hotel is perched above Waverley Station so the clock is always set three minutes fast as an aid to travellers trying to catch a train. Hogmanay is the one exception in the year when it is spot on.

Famous faces

Film stars, Prime Ministers and Royalty have all stayed here, so of course, we felt at home straight away. Suite 552 is even named after JK Rowling who wrote her final Harry Potter novel here. Once we had got past the suitably suited and booted doorman we were welcomed by a lovely young lady called Lucy. She hailed from Menton in the south of France, a part of the world we know quite well. Monte Carlo and all that! A few months back we even posted a scone from the Scotch Tea House in Nice. Anyway, Lucy had been doing a hospitality course back home and when she finished she chose Scotland for her first real job. We warmed to her immediately. She settled us in and soon had us sorted with a couple of glasses of Charles Heidsieck champs while we perused the tea menu.

I opted for the Cloud tea for no other reason than that’s where all my personal data resides. Pat went for 2nd flush … not sure why. We’re not great tea connoisseurs. However, it’s nice to try new ones every now and again even though we always revert back to good old breakfast tea. When ours arrived another young lady shattered our nerves by pouring the boiling water into the teapots from a great height. Not sure if that enhances the taste in any way but it certainly gave the whole procedure an air of high drama. She didn’t spill a drop!

Three tiers

Normally, with an afternoon tea, everything comes on a three-tier cake stand. Savouries on the bottom, scones in the middle and cakes on top. Not here! We did get the cake stand but all three tiers were laden with savoury items … it was only the first course. Everything was delicious.Later we got the second course – the scones. As expected there were two each and they came beautifully warm, lightly dusted with icing sugar and presented with lots of jam and clotted cream. Meanwhile, Lucy refreshed our teapots and generally ensured that we lacked for nothing. Unsurprisingly, perhaps the scones were fab and what with the surroundings and the harpist playing in the small juliet balcony above our heads, we almost felt as if we were in Verona. It wasn’t that difficult a decision to make … topscone!

gifts at the Balmoral Hotel, Edinburgh — A parting gift of tea, chocolates and mini ice cream cones.

Good taste

It was so civilised as we lingered under the palm trees sipping champagne, eating scones and being pampered by Lucy. We could easily have believed we are still in Europe. Thoughts of bush fires, coronavirus, Boris’s lies, Trump’s lies, Syria, and climate change were banished to someplace far far away. Later, when we were preparing to rejoin the real world we asked Lucy if she would return to the south of France after her placement here was finished. She replied, “No, I plan to stay in Scotland, I really love it”. It’s true, the French really do have good taste! Even we had to admit – if this is what being out of Europe is like, it’s not that bad!

Wellington statue, Princes Street — The Duke of Wellington pointing at the clock and saying “that clock is three minutes fast”.

EH2 2EQ. tel: 0131 556 2414 Balmoral

///driven.behind.insist

ps Thanks go to one of our New Zealand correspondents. They sent photos of a scone extravaganza that recently took place at Papanui Club Bowling Club in Christchurch. That’s a lot of scones!

Ordinary, Scones

Café in the Kirk

24 January 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Recently, we have come to the conclusion that we could do this blog without ever having to leave our home town of Falkirk. Every time we turn our back, a new cafe or restaurant pops up. Okay, slight exaggeration but only slight. This post from the Café in the Kirk is a typical example.

The Speckled Church

Café in the Kirk has been on the go for a few years, however, not being noted for our religiosity, it just hadn’t registered. Today, however, was the day! Falkirk Trinity Church itself came about fairly recently when three churches merged their congregations … hence the name. A sign of the times, no doubt. Before that, it was the Old Parish Church, a place of worship since the 7th century. Back then it was known as the ‘faw kirk’ or ‘speckled church’ from which the town eventually took its name. Even today, locals tend to pronounce it Fa’kirk. With.soldiers from both the 1298 and the 1746 Battles of Falkirk buried in the graveyard, the church pretty much tells the story of Scotland.

To our great surprise, the Café in the Kirk was very busy, with no available tables. This surprised us in more ways than one. On the way in we had been amply warned by an elderly couple who were sitting outside “the lentil soup isn’t good“, accompanied by knowing glances and shaking heads. In spite of this, we decide to persevere and it wasn’t long before a table became free and we were in … yeah!

Romantic scones

One distinct advantage of coming here was that we felt distinctly young … probably the youngest in the place. The surroundings were fairly utilitarian, brightly lit, oilcloth table coverings, etc. Perhaps not the place to come for a romantic scone. We were attended to by a lovely lady who was dragging a leg. She reminded me of my mother who spent years serving lunches to perfectly able-bodied people while she hobbled around on a walking stick. Needless to say, we cleared our own table then helped our lady deliver our lunches. It seemed like the least we could do. Previously, we had noticed that there were only two scones left. An anxious few minutes were spent waiting to place our order hoping no one else would get them before us. Was that sinful or was that sinful?

Momentary relief

While we were waiting for our lunch to be prepared we noticed this wall poster. Obviously we were heartened by this news and, considering our fraught lives, decided to follow the advice. Joyous relief! However, when we asked for the password for the wifi we were informed: ” for church use only!” Goodness, that didn’t last long. Now we are worried and not enjoying life nearly as much as we did a minute ago. We’re pretty sure God didn’t actually have a hand in this decision, but still?

Although our lunch was great, by the time we got to our scones, expectations were not exactly riding high. However, we were to be confounded yet again … they were delicious! Very fresh and a lovely soft texture throughout. Turned out that our lady with the leg had baked them. If we had been able to get cream this could have been the first topscone of 2020, however, sadly, it was not to be. We are pretty sure that this place is entirely run by volunteers so we are reluctant to be too critical. Overall it’s very good and great value for money.

Celebrate or protest?

Now that the big decision has been taken Brexit barely gets a mention in the news. Attention has been diverted to Trump’s impeachment trial in the US and, of course, the supremely important matter of Harry and Meghan’s future happiness. Yet it is only a matter of days until we finally leave the EU … in Scotland’s case, very much against its will. In fact, the Scottish, Welsh and N.Irish Parliaments have all voted down the EU Withdrawal Bill. Will that make any difference? Not a bit! While Boris tries to determine what sort of celebrations will be used to mark the occasion on the 31st, we suspect that, in other parts of our broken UK, the mood will be more one of betrayal.

The minister of this church, an ardent supporter of Scottish Independence, wrote about the situation in his most recent blog. Yes, good people write blogs as well! He finished with this simple prayer “God, please help us. Amen.” Let’s hope He is listening!

FK1 1JN tel: 01324 611017 Café in the Kirk

///over.sector.news

ps Many thanks to The Laird who notified us of a Falkirk made K6 proudly standing outside the Jamaica Inn on Bodmin Moor in Cornwall. Picture courtesy of haunted rooms.co.uk

K6 outside the Jamaica Inn — Jamaica Inn made famous by Daphne du Maurier novel by the same name

pps Thanks also to one of our Kiwi correspondents for this pic of her home-baked blueberry and banana muffins. Okay, not scones but they do look delicious. Maybe we need to broaden our scope and visit the gumdiggers of Dargaville?

Cobwebs

Go north for scones

The Big Tree

Everything is relative

DNA

Change

World Championships

Honourable?

Getting there

Sacre Bleu

Sheep talk

Telephone cables

Wilting

Multicultural

Rigours endured

Wishes

More of everything

Muck meat

A quieter more peaceful world

MUCK SHED

Winning bulls

Titanic

Colorado

Gratis scones

Sliced bread

Good British viruses

Meaningless opposition

Lucky, lucky, lucky

Famous faces

Three tiers

Good taste

The Speckled Church

Romantic scones

Momentary relief

Celebrate or protest?

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics