Tag Archives: Crieff

Craobh

27 August 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Today, we are out wandering with the intention of finding somewhere for dinner in the evening. Not entirely random, however, we do have a little French restaurant called the Barley Bree in mind. It’s in the lovely conservation village of Muthill and we used to go there quite often to visit our aunt. The story gets a little convoluted but bear with us. Unfortunately when we looked it up on the internet it seemed to be closed and up for sale. Phone calls went unanswered. Not to worry, it had been a long time since we had been in this beautiful part of Perthshire so we decided to carry on and find somewhere in the next town, Crieff.

However, when we were driving through Muthill we passed the Barley Bree and Pat thought that it looked as if it was open. We couldn’t stop because of the traffic so we carried on another couple of miles to Crieff. Hence you find us here in the middle of the afternoon in Craobh, slap bang in the centre of town. However, wonder of wonders, in the course of the afternoon we discovered that the Barley Bree was now called the Coorie Inn (a play on the Scots saying “coorie in” meaning to snuggle). We got their phone number and voila, we had a booking for later!

Parking again!

Back to Craobh! We parked right outside and surprise, surprise had to pay via an app. After our previous experience at the Old Mill in Christchurch this gave us a touch of the heebie-jeebies. Guess what, it failed again! We asked a passing lady if she could get it to work. She just laughed and shook her head. However she did tell us that we could park round the corner for free. What a woman! Pat went off to park while I went into the restaurant. To be fair to this app called RingGo, other people seem to use the it without difficulty so we suspect that our version has developed a glitch.

Craobh is Gaelic for ‘tree’ and is pronounced “kroov”. Perthsire is famous for its big trees, hence the name. It’s a lovely restaurant with quite a few tables at the front and then several more through the back. It was completely deserted. The Mary Celeste had more folk. There was only a couple of young girls behind the counter.

They welcomed us and confirmed that they did have scones … hurrah! Then they spent some time consulting their reservation book to see if they could fit us in. Curious, because as far as we could make out every single table was available. Turned out that they were actually fully booked for dinners so were probably just checking that we were not going to interfere with their first reservations. Anyway it was great to hear that they were fully booked and by the sounds of it that was the case most nights … fantastic!

Slate plates

Since we were having dinner later we just asked for a scone to share and some coffee. It, or rather they, arrived nicely presented on a piece of slate. Obviously this would upset the bellyachers at wewantplates.com. They get terribly upset about food served on anything other than a plate. Thankfully we have never been known to bellyache about anything! We can tolerate a bit of slate … especially if it’s adorned with warm scones, jam and cream. And we did have side plates. With this sort of attention to detail we began to understand why this place might be so popular. We thought that they just managed to squeak into our topscone category. Well done Croabh!

Stranger than fiction

Goodness, it’s all going on in the world. On one hand we have a Russian president gayly murdering anyone he doesn’t approve of.

On the other we have a former US president being fingerprinted and mugshotted. As an ex-professional photographer I can honestly say that I would have been sacked if I had taken a mugshot like that. Besides the subject matter, there just isn’t anything right about it. Trump, as ever, is up to his old school boy tricks, deflecting attention so that nothing of substance ever gets discussed. And yet his supporters keep following like mesmerised cattle apparently oblivious to the harm he does to the US and the world.

In sporting news it is all about the president of total plonkers Luis Rubiales and the turmoil created by THE KISS. If any of our most imaginative readers were asked to make up a surreal, fantastical week of news it would probably fall well short of the actual reality.

Schwarzenegger says

Our dinner at the Coorie Inn was great. It’s been taken over by Andrew, Phil and Lisa … all previously of the five star Gleneagles Hotel. They’ve only had it for five weeks so still settling in but they seem to be making a real go of it. We wish them well. After a delicious dinner we discovered that they do scones every afternoon! We will be back!

PH7 3EY tel: 01764 650762 Craobh

///accompany.inkjet.ideals

ps: This notice was in Craobh …. discuss! Think we know why it’s from “source unknown”.

Ordinary, Scones

Glenturret Lalique distillery

26 August 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

It’s touching when people write and ask if we are still alive just because they haven’t received a scone post for a while. Apologies, we are okay but we have been a little distracted by other things recently. To kick things off again we thought that we should visit a special place, Glenturret Lalique distillery just outside Crieff. When I was young my big brother and I used to get sent here every year for our holidays. Not to the distillery itself but to Distillery Cottage which was just a few yards along the road and the home off aunt Muriel. No idea why we were sent to stay with Muriel but maybe our parents just wanted rid of us for a few weeks … that’s a distinct possibility!

The swing

The little glen in which the distillery sits is idyllic and we had the freedom to explore far and wide … we regarded it, horizon to horizon, as our own. The sun always shone and our aunt used to make banana flip for pudding … bliss! At that time the distillery was closed and was falling into disrepair. We used to play in it’s many abandoned buildings. There was a swing in one and when James Fairlie bought the place in 1957, with a view to reopening it as a distillery, he asked us if he could take it down. Just think … if we had said “no”, none of this would have happened!

Anyway, the distillery has had many incarnations since then. The last one was the Famous Grouse Experience but now it has been taken over by Lalique the upmarket French glass manufacturers. Today I was here once again with my big brother who had invited myself and Pat for lunch.

Bar at Glenturret Lalique distillery — The bar

Things have changed! Our old swing has been replaced by a huge Lalique chandelier for one. Tempting though it was we did not try it out as a swing … we’re grown up now! Everything about the place screams ‘quality’ … they had even imported French waiting staff. Pat and I were very happy not to be paying the bill. Lunch consisted of haggis Scotch eggs, sea trout, Wagyu steaks, scallops and elaborate chocolate desserts … absolutely wonderful!

Lounge at Glenturret Lalique distillery — the salon

Duty calls.

Remembering our scone duties, however, we asked if we could have tea and scones in the salon. I had heard they did a Glenturret sherry-soaked fruit scone … but it wasn’t to be, only ordinary fruit ones. A return visit for afternoon tea is now essential!

As might be expected the scones came beautifully presented with delightful little dishes of cream and homemade jam. My tea came in a lovely cup produced in Germany to Lalique’s design. It had a matt white finish but no handle. Oddly, it did not feel hot to pick up – dashed cunning those continental types.

Design over substance

Now you would expect the scones to be top notch in a place like this, wouldn’t you? But they weren’t. Good, yes but not topscone material, plenty of fruit but just a wee bit on the solid side for our liking. Not to worry when we come back for our Glenturret sherry soaked scone we might get a better result … especially if we have a few of them!

World records

Glenturret Lalique distillery is not only famous for once housing our swing it was also home to Towser the Mouser. Towser holds the Guinness World record for killing mice, 28,899 to be precise. How did they work that out and are they absolutely sure it wasn’t 28,900? She lived all of her 24 years in the distillery and has a thoroughly well deserved bronze statue testifying to her considerable achievements. We could have played with Towser if she had been around in our time but she would have probably been too busy!

This visit was a special treat from my big brother and it was very special. Hope the wallet didn’t protest too much. Pat even bought me a bottle of Glenturret sherry cask whisky. She could have got it in a Lalique bottle but she’s too Scottish for that sort of nonsense. Should I try soaking a scone in it?

Borders

At last the US and UK are leaving Afghanistan … should never have been there in the first place. Inexcusable for Britain which has a centuries old disastrous history in the region. On the way home from Crieff we noticed swallows lined up on the telephone wires getting ready to fly back to South Africa after the summer. They will be replaced by thousands of geese coming here from Siberia and Greenland. With the current woeful situation in Afghanistan it occurred to us that borders have a lot to answer for.

PH7 4HA tel: 01764 656565 Glenturret Lalique

///epic.impose.extremely

Scones, Top

Mill House Pop Up Coffee Shop

19 July 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 13 Comments

It was a surprise when our correspondent, the Pedant, reported the existence of a café in the tiny hamlet of Monzie. It’s not so much that Monzie is isolated, it’s just a few miles from Crieff after all. It’s just that it’s on a very minor road that hardly anyone uses. If you were to be run down on this road it would most likely be by a farmer on a tractor or a speeding quad bike.

Happy days

On the other hand, I know it extremely well. As a young lad, my brother and I, came to our aunt and uncle’s house in the summer and it was just a few hundred yards from here. Looking back these were idyllic days. This piece of country was our adventure playground. No water in the house … we had to collect it every day from a spring, however, I don’t remember anything remotely resembling hardship. And the sun shone every day! On reflection, of course, it couldn’t have been easy for my aunt and uncle without all the modern day paraphernalia we now take for granted but they always seemed extremely happy with their lot. Of course, maybe they were just happy when I was there?

Green machine

My aunt had magical powers. She employed them when she made banana flip. A seemingly ordinary dish consisting of custard and, you guessed it, bananas. No one else, however, came within a million miles of making it the way she did. My uncle was a jolly round man and, for me, a kind of superhero. Not only could he play any instrument he picked up, be it a trombone or an accordion, he drove a road roller. He was employed by the local Council. Not only that, he was allowed to take it home at night. This huge lumbering green machine sat there outside the house as an object of complete wonderment to a wee boy. A big rearing horse badge on the front … like a ferrari but much better!

Laying claim

Anyway, it turns out that the Mill House at Monzie is now run as a boutique B &B. When it has gaps in it’s B&B calendar they do this pop up café so it’s only open now and then. But would a café in such a quiet spot be successful? It was crying out for further investigation. We arrived on a beautiful sunny day to find that we were the only ones there. The café itself is well appointed and it had a range of fantastic looking gateaux … and scones. The delightful young chap who looked after us said that he could not lay claim to the cakes but he could with the scones. He had baked them earlier. So far so good!

All the scones were plain so we had one each. They came with loads of butter, jam and cream. All the jams were home made. The coffee and tea was excellent as well. It all looked very promising. We really hope that this pop up is successful because they obviously put a lot into it and everything we had was fantastic. The gateaux were to die for and scones were top. Well done Monzie! And when we were leaving others were arriving, hurragh!

Diary dates

If you want to visit this beautiful peaceful part of the country and support this venture, here are the dates it will be operating.

1. Tuesday 30 July – 1 Aug 10.30-4pm
2. Tuesday 6 – Saturday 10 Aug 10.30-4pm (Sat 11-5pm)
3. Tuesday 13 – Wednesday 14 August 10.30-4pm
4. Tuesday 20 – Thursday 22 Aug 10.30-4pm

Bats in the belfry

We couldn’t leave Monzie without visiting the church next door where my uncle was beadle for many years and pay respects at the superhero’s grave.My uncle used to take my brother and I along to the church to help him get it spic and span for the Sunday services. My aunt would do the flowers. At that time there were bats in the belfry, wonder if they are still there. The church was open so we were able to go inside and reflect on life in Monzie and elsewhere. My aunt and uncle led very simple but happy lives. Much of their time was spent helping others and in service to their community. About a million miles from Trump and his sad little mean life.

Old bridge over the Shaggie burn at Monzie — The old bridge over the Shaggie burn at Monzie doesn’t see much traffic these days

PH7 4HE tel: 07815 737130 Mill House Café FB

///flipper.again.canal

ps One of our Aussie correspondents sent us this photo of a K6 at Airlie Beach in the Whitsunday region of Queensland. It wasn’t underwater! The chap floating above it was advertising surfing stuff. Unfortunately its position meant that the manufacturer’s badge was inaccessible.

Useful link: things to do in Crieff

Ordinary, Scones

The Loft – Crieff

4 February 2017 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Perhaps you are aware that we have a fondness for shops that, by today’s standards, could be termed “a wee bit old-fashioned”. Maybe it’s because of the pace of modern life. Perhaps it’s because of standards of service. Maybe it’s just us? We don’t think of ourselves as “not keeping up” nor do we think of ourselves as particularly old. However, when you come across the likes of the much missed McEwens of Perth and the still current, Valentines of Crieff you do feel as if you are stepping back into a more comfortable, less frenetic world. And it’s nice.

Picture of frosted plant at Bennybeg near Crieff — Frosted hemlock at Bennybeg

Our Stenhousemuir correspondent (oft referred to as the SteniBrainFart) once had the temerity to suggest that the sad demise of McEwens of Perth had been caused by, what he felt, was a rather caustic scone review. Okay it wasn’t great but it was entirely coincidental to the downfall of our favourite shop. The nerve!

Back in town

Valentines of Crieff, on the other hand, is much smaller by comparison. Still alive and well though and kitting out the good folk of Crieff as it has done for years. It’s one of these places where, if your dress or trousers don’t fit exactly, they alter them until they do. For free! So it was that, after an hour long walk at Bennybeg Nature Trail (we saw a robin … yes, just a robin), we were back in Crieff picking up some alterations to purchases made a couple of weeks back when we were visiting an aunt (see Royal Hotel). Unlike McEwens, Valentines does not have a café but next door is The Loft. A shop spread over three floors, selling furniture and lots of beautiful novelty items. And scones in the café at the back of the shop.

Again we decided to have lunch then share a scone between us. In spite of it being very busy the service was great. Holding back our tea and scone until we had finished lunch. Served with nice little pots of butter, jam and cream our scone was really good. Just a gnat’s whisker off topscone, however. Good try though and we thoroughly enjoyed looking round the rest of the shop. Worth a visit if you find yourself in this neck of the woods.

What with the final section of the Queensferry Crossing being put in place as we write, ‘bridges’ seem to be the talking point of the day. Just down the road from where we are in Crieff, Dollerie House has a crooked bridge within its grounds specifically designed to stop witches crossing. And continuing with the bridge/witch theme, Theresa May’s offer to become a bridge between Donald Trump’s USA and the EU, has been roundly rejected by the EU. Best laid plans and all that. Maybe she will try holding Putin’s hand next?

Statistics

With Trump’s travel ban on Islamic immigrants now in place it is also interesting to look at the official US fatality figures for the past year. Exactly 2 Americans were killed by Islamic immigrants. This compared to 21 killed by armed toddlers and 11,737 killed by other Americans. You have to think seriously about whether or not we want a bridge at all? Seems like a different world to the one at The Loft and Valentines of Crieff. Long may they prosper.

PH7 4DL tel: 01764 650008 The Loft

self-service

Caffé Nero

11 November 2015 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Now you might be a bit surprised by this post because we are reviewing a multinational coffee house. Caffé Nero to be exact. One of these dastardly companies that pays no tax. Prepare yourself for a bit of a rant. Of course we never thought we would have to review such places because we didn’t think any of them did scones .. but we were mistaken, Caffé Nero does, maybe because it is British, so we felt duty bound to give them a try.

Tax

The whole tax thingy is a bit of a mess. Starbucks takes the brunt of the criticism because they are the biggest and the most famous. Caffé Nero has not paid any UK tax since 2008 because it exploits the same loopholes that Starbucks and all the others use. Boots has avoided £1.2b by simply not being registered in the UK. There is nothing illegal about this practice so our sympathies lie with the companies which, like all companies, are duty bound to maximise profits for their share holders. Otherwise they are deemed to be negligent. The problem lies with the loopholes themselves and that’s a governmental issue.

Loopholes

The UK government gets a lot of stick for not closing them but, if you are expecting them to take decisive action any time soon, don’t hold your breath. Most of the government exploits the exact same loopholes for their own personal benefit. Luckily, the European Commission is not so queasy about tackling the problem. They recently decreed that Starbuck’s tax exemption in the Netherlands amounted to a state subsidy and was therefore illegal. As a consequence they were ordered them to repay £22m to the Dutch government. They did the same for Fiat which is registered in Luxembourg and presumably this principle will apply to all multinationals in due course. If it does we should all benefit .. hurrah!

Going offshore

As far as the UK is concerned there may also be light at the end of the tunnel. Not because of government action, heaven forbid, but because, Crickhowell, a small town in Powys, has elected to move ‘offshore’. It has registered all it’s businesses in the Isle of Man … the same as Caffé Nero. Now they will no longer have to pay tax either .. brilliant! No skullduggery .. all done in discussion with HMRC. If all towns were to follow suit, and we cannot see why they wouldn’t, perhaps then the UK government might eventually waken up to the concerns of ordinary people who have to pay every last penny in tax .. or go to jail. Enough of all that frippery we hear you cry .. the scones!

Black magic

Penegra is frequently a type of Simple generic levitra, that is detailed including sildenafil citrate, the best medication that really works effectively in treating feebleness challenges. Vitamin A, C and E especially are needed for curing this levitra sample problem. You can maintain higher levitra price http://appalachianmagazine.com/2017/06/20/berkeley-house-staunton-virginias-secret-gem/ levels of testosterone naturally by combining exercises along with intake of balanced diet. It can be taken when generic sildenafil from india you intent to make love. Reviewing this particular Caffé Nero is a little unusual because it means that the result applies across all of it’s 600 outlets. They are all the same. It is their main selling point. When you go into a Caffé Nero, or a Starbucks for that matter, you know exactly what environment and quality to expect .. fantastico! Not sure how they do it, presumably there is some sort of black magic involved, but the scone we have here in Falkirk will be exactly the same as the one we would have in Canterbury or Belfast or wherever. Is that just clever, or is it slightly spooky?

Our scone came complete with butter and jam and, if we had wanted, a sealed tub of clotted cream. All in all it was quite good. Doesn’t fit the criterion, so it never had a hope of getting a topscone award. However, we can see how folk coming into Caffé Nero could ask for this and enjoy it, so hats off to them for being able to produce this level of standardised product across its empire.

Scotland Bill

The bad news today is that 10 Tory MPs sat through the debate on the Scotland Bill then 400 came in to vote down all the Scottish amendments. It will now fester for months in the unelected Lords. The good news is that a wee firm in Crieff is to start exporting oil to the Middle East. Okay it’s rapeseed oil … but still. Maybe they would like scones as well?

FK1 1NR tel: 01324 623906 Nero

Scones, history and a dollop of politics