Tag Archives: COVID-19

Scones, Top

Café at Canada Wood revisited

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One thing about all the pubs and licensed restaurants being closed in this lockdown mess is that cafés that can still stay open are really really busy. Since we are doing a bit of covering for school holidays we had Penny, our five year old granddaughters, with us. She wanted to go to the nearby Milk Barn but when we got there it was so busy we couldn’t get in. She did, however, manage to milk Glenda, her favourite fibreglass cow.

Penny milking Glenda
The ever patient Glenda
30 minutes

We are not supposed to travel unless absolutely necessary so Café at Canada Wood which is also within a mile of home seemed like a possibility. Some people wonder why it’s called “Canada Wood”. We do as well. As a child I used to be hired to chase pigeons out of the wood so that they could be shot by posh people standing on the nearby road. Back then. because of its shape, it was always referred to as “Canada Strip”. We’ve been told, however, that if you search Google with these words you get some unexpected results.

Yes, better luck this time. We could get a table but they needed it back in half an hour. Okay, just about time for a coffee, a scone and some lunch for Penny but it probably wasn’t going to be a leisurely experience. Then again nothing where Penny is concerned can ever be described as leisurely … enough energy and smiles to light up a small city.

It actually turned out not too bad and we thoroughly enjoyed our scone.A scone at Café at Canada Wood Another topscone to add to Café at Canada Wood’s ever growing list of topscones. We stuck to our agreement and gave the table up after our thirty minutes. Not ideal perhaps but the staff were great. We certainly didn’t feel as if we were being pushed out.Internal view of the Café at Canada Wood

The bandwagon of bolshieness

However, ‘pushed out’ is maybe how Andy Burnham, Mayor of Greater Manchester might be feeling. He is refusing to impose greater coronavirus restrictions from Westminster until there is better financial support for those affected. Just what Boris needs … bolshiness everywhere he turns. The devolved administrations are bolshie. The EU is getting bolshie. Even some in his own party are now jumping on the bolshie bandwagon. COVID actually makes us feel sorry for politians just now. Damned if they do and damned if they don’t.

No sympathy for Boris, however, he’s brought all his troubles on himself through his own bumbling ineptitude. Now, he and his old school pals have passed a Bill allowing countries with lower food standards than ours to import into the UK! The beginning of a long downward slippery slope aimed at facilitating the US, with its shockingly poor food standards.

Argh!!

Spare a thought for Scotland in all this. The strict COVID restrictions are okay … perfectly understandable. What is much more difficult to comprehend, however, is that Scotland still has a Tory government it has never ever voted for. Also, the EU, at least, gave us some say over our own destiny through devolution but now Westminster is destroying that with the Internal Market Bill. Not to mention being dragged out of the EU towards some sort of utopia that only exists in  Boris’ head. And they wonder why we complain so much? On top of all that, we’re now going to be force-fed American chlorinated/hormone/antibiotic riddled food. Rant over … until the next one.

FK1 3AZ        tel: 01324 612111           Canada Wood

///airtime.dozens.levels

ps: After we posted a picture of a sign in Dunblane while we were at the Beech Tree Café the Pedant sent us this picture he took in Ely.

An Ely toilet sign
The Dunblane sign on the left together with the Ely sign

No one has ventured any suggestions as to what constitutes a  “Comfort Partner”  … still a mystery!

If you live in Derbyshire you’ve probably seen one of these before. For those who don’t, here it is … a Derbyshire scone, kindly sent to us by our  Nottingham correspondents. They are rookies so, unfortunately,  no more detail. Looks pretty good though.A Derbyshire scone

Ordinary, Scones

The Beech Tree Café

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Logo of the Beech Tree CaféAs of 6pm last night the whole central belt of Scotland went into lockdown again. Not quite as draconian as the previous one but pretty strict nevertheless. All licensed premises are closed and we are forbidden from visiting anyone else’s home. The rest of Scotland can still serve alcohol but only outdoors. This is Scotland at the end of October so they might as well close as well. We think that COVID is responsible for us developing an allergy … to the news! All these rules and regulations, facts and figures have started making us feel decidedly queezy.

Dunblane High Street
lower part of Dunblane High Street

It was a pleasure, therefore, to be out and wandering around in Dunblane’s High Street on a wonderful autumn day and ending up here at the Beech Tree Café.

We had parked in the High Street because there were no signs to say we couldn’t. Later, however, we spied a traffic warden putting tickets on cars … arggh! When we spoke to the him, however, he assured us we got the first hour free so we had time to go for a coffee. Sigh of relief but we couldn’t understand why there were no signs giving us this information. It wasn’t until we got home and were looking at the photos that we realised where we had gone wrong. I had taken a photo of this sign because I thought it was odd and hadn’t noticed the sign beneath it. Heyho! Still don’t know what a ‘comfort partner’ is but after all this parking stress I feel I need one.Internal view of the Beech Tree Café

Pixies

Anyway, the Beech Tree Café is definitely the place to destress. It has been going for seventeen years and is a family run affair. Sisters Trisha and Vicky. mum Wilma and Auntie Liz … otherwise known as “The Beech Tree Babes”. They don’t employ a chef but have pixies that come in every morning to prepare all the food from scratch. The pixies bake the scones as well … exciting! We think we were attended to by Wilma who refered to us as “my darlings”. We’re sure that nothing would ever get this lady down, she was irrepressibly welcoming and cheerful.

It was still morning so after a delicious brunch we asked for a fruit scone to share. We tend not to do morning scones but hey, what the hell, you have to take your chances in these uncertain times. It took a wee while to appear but then  we remembered “we don’t do fast food, we do fresh food as fast as we can” was their motto. When it did eventually appear we were more than a little astonished. A scone at the Beech Tree Café

It had been split into two halves and each half was already preloaded with jam and cream. And then some more cream and then a little bit more cream .. wow! Wilma put one half in front of Pat saying “ for my gorgeous girl” and then the other in front of me saying “for my gorgeous boy”. Well, blow me down! Pat gets that every day but no one has said that about me since my mother when I was about one year old. Topscone right away … for acute powers of observation if nothing else. I would have simply put it down to flattery if it hadn’t been so damned accurate!

Top or bottom?

Pat likes the top of the scone when we share but this time I got the top … first time ever! Thank you Wilma! Defo topscone! Steady on Bill, don’t get completely carried away! You all know by now our well documented views on preloaded scones so even though the scone itself was great and despite the compliments, we couldn’t really award a topscone, shame! When I was paying the bill Wilma slyly whispered with a wink “was there enough cream on your scone?” I think it was rhetorical. Anyway this gorgeous boy was very happy with his visit to the Beech Tree Café and wouldn’t hesitate to go back again … and neither would Pat.

Anticipation and miracles

Boris Johnson has made an announcement to say that he is going to make an announcement next week. Can’t wait, the anticipation is excrutiating! Also, after Trump declaring that God had saved him from coronavirus we’re pretty sure the world will have turned totally atheist by now! Having said that, we were well over our free hour by the time we got back to the car and we hadn’t got a ticket … thank you God?

FK15 0AA         tel: 01786 823451        Beech Tree FB

///acute.whisk.youthful

Ordinary, Scones

The Orangery at Victoria Square

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We know, it’s been some time since our last post. And before we’re accused of bone idleness it’s because we’ve been busy with other things. Pathetic we know, we should sort out our priorities! We haven’t quite started galavanting yet so this foray to The Orangery at Victoria Square, in Stirling, seemed like a good, if still slightly tentative step, into the big bad world of coronavirus sconology.

It was recommended by the Laird, a valued correspondent of long standing. His full title is the Laird of Dumyat (pronounced dum-eye-at),  a piece of land on which he has, built a 1300ft mountain …  a kind of mountainette. Thankfully, we don’t think he has any connection with the Lascivious Laird of Kippendavie who lorded it over a neighbouring property around 1765. The genteel and wholesome nature of this blog forbids us from entering into further detail.External view of Victoria Square For being retired and supposedly having nothing to do we seem to find it remarkably difficult to fit everything in. The stress, the stress! The idea of visiting this place was that it should provide an hour or two of blessed peace and tranquillity. Happily, we can report that it did just that. It did so in spades! “Can you just get on with it, what about the scones?” we hear you cry.

The rules, the rules

Bear with us a little, remember this is a COVID scone. Sign for Victoria Square Guest HouseThis is a guest house and of course, we were interested to find out how they had fared over the past few months. Unsurprisingly, “with great difficulty” was the answer. What guests they have had have been from the UK with one or two from Germany. Our host apologised for being unable to take our jackets but of course, that is no longer allowed. The Orangery is a fine dining restaurant but with only one chef allowed in the kitchen at a time, even that is difficult. The whole situation was kind of summed when she said to no one in particular “it’s quiet without the music … we can’t even have that!” 

Yes, music, singing and dancing are all forbidden. Living under COVID is akin to living under the Free Church of Scotland … you can do anything you like as long as you don’t enjoy yourself. We were enjoying ourselves immensely and fully expected thunderbolts. The lack of music meant that we could listen to other people’s conversation … sadly, none worth reporting.

Picture of a Highland cowWe also never thought we would ever find ourselves having to apologise to an entire breed of cattle. On the wall overlooking our table was this picture which we thought reminded us of Boris. We sincerely apologise to Highland cattle everywhere, it was the horns that did it.

The scones, the scones

 Okay, the scones were presented, not on the usual tiered cake stand but on a large china platter. Afternoon tea at Victoria SquareOne platter each. Only one scone each and it was, what was referred to as a “mini-scone”, can you spot it? You’re aware that we don’t really go for big scones but this even got us thinking about introducing a new ‘diminutive scone’ category.

Everything is prepared and baked inhouse and it was all wonderful. When it came to judging the scone however we felt that there was a little something missing … salt perhaps? Nice but no nice enough for a topscone. Pity, because we liked everything about this place and would love to return in better times.Internal view of Victoria Square

Hash, hash, hash!

As the UK considers going back into full lockdown again, Boris continues to hash his way through the crisis declaring that everything they are doing is “world-beating“. His “oven-ready” deal with the EU turns out to be missing most of the ingredients and now he is threatening to break an International Treaty he signed up to only months ago. Simultaneously, he is managing to make a hash of the UK as a Union of Nations. He hates devolution so much that he, in his muddled up thinking, sees Brexit as the perfect excuse to seize back devolved powers to Westminster. We really do apologise to Highland cattle everywhere!

On a more upbeat note, we see that Barbados has finally decided to come of age with its decision to drop the Queen as their head of state. Well done Barbados! Scotland can’t even govern itself never mind make grown-up decisions like that.

FK8 2QZ      tel: 01786 473920        The Orangery

///skirt.pretty.pens

Ordinary, Scones

The Lodge at Loch Lomond

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Woohoo, we’re out and about again! Yeah! Mind you if hadn’t been for an invitation to a champagne afternoon tea by our grandbrats we might not have been. Still not feeling as adventurous as we used to be. It is obviously going to take a wee bit more time to get fully back in the swing. Anyway, they phoned to say that they were at the Lodge on Loch Lomond and would we like to join them? It was a lovely day so we jumped in the car and were off on the longest journey we have undertaken since March when we were in Tobermory on the Isle of Mull. This trip was only going to take an hour or so but it still seemed like an exciting mini-adventure after COVID incarceration.

Internal view of the Lodge at Loch Lomond
Colquhoun’s Restaurant overlooking the loch
Take the High Road

The Lodge on the Loch Lomond is situated in the picturesque village of Luss. This was where the now-defunct Scottish soap opera Take The High Road was set. The area around the loch is always busy. In normal times Luss has so many tourists it’s really best avoided. Amazingly it was still extremely busy and very few visitors appeared to be from Britain. Considering the coronavirus travel restrictions the country is currently facing we have no idea how they got here or how they’re getting back? When we arrived at the Lodge we were ushered into Colquhoun’s Restaurant. The name made me think of my mother.

Desperate situation strategy

During WWII she drove timber lorries up and down Loch Lomondside. The twisty road is torturous, to say the least, so this was cause for wonderment by everyone who knew her … especially my father when she drove his car through the end of the garage. Anyway, she stopped her truck one day and climbed over the wall into Luss Estate to pick some daffodils. No sooner had she done so than she was apprehended by none other than Sir Ivar Colquhoun, 7th Baronet and Chief of Clan Colquhoun. He told her in no uncertain terms that not only was she on the wrong side of the wall stealing his flowers but also trespassing on one of his 44,000 acres. Mum always responded to all such desperate situations in the same way … by dissolving in a fit of helpless giggles. This highly successful strategy served her well throughout her life. It got her out of many scrapes where the accuser just gave up in bewilderment.

View from Colquhoun's restaurant
View from Colquhoun’s Restaurant
Delegation

Anyway, after some initial miscommunication problems, we were eventually settled down with our afternoon tea. It was delightful to sip bubbles, eat sandwiches and cakes while watching the swimmers, canoeists and paddleboarders exerting a bit more energy outside on the loch. Delegating exercise suits us very well. View from Colquhoun's restaurantSometimes the happy scene was enhanced with the addition of a cruise boat or a pedalo, escaped from a neighbouring beach. However, it was the scones that were getting most of our attention.

Skinny dipping

This would be our first non-Falkirk scone since lockdown and they looked very inviting. Afternoon tea at Colquhoun's restaurantWe had a plain scone and fruit scone between the two of us so it was half each. There was nice little pots of cream and strawberry jam … no prepackaged stuff here. All presented in a kind of birdcage contraption, presumably to stop the scones escaping? The cakes, the sandwiches and the scones were all great.  However, after some deliberation and taking the service problems into account, we eventually decided that the scones fell ever so slightly short of topscone. Pity, it would have been nice to have awarded a topscone on our first real outing in months.

bonnie bonnie bums of Loch Lomond
by the bonnie bonnie bums of Loch Lomond

All in all a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon so many thanks to all concerned. Afterwards, the kids expended some of their boundless energy with a dip in the loch.

In the news, Boris Johson has ended his camping holiday near Applecross after only three days. Hard enough to believe that he actually chose friendless Scotland in the first place never mind the fact that he then pitched his bell tent without permission on someone else’s land. Kind of says it all really.

G83 8PA          tel: 01436 860201         Colquhoun’s Restaurant

///disprove.enormous.ballroom

ps: Our Bathurst correspondent has come back with more comment and another poem. Is there no end to these Aussie’s talents?

“Bill alleges that we Aussies should rejoice, as we are heading into spring and summer, while you Scots are looking down the barrel of winter.  All very well, but the weather here in Bathurst this past week has been atrocious.  Rain, wind, even a dash of snow. Why, yesterday it was so cold the maximum temperature was 2 degrees lower than the minimum.  But, on the brighter side, this weather reminds us of our previous biannual visits to our daughter and family in Strathkinness. Something that is unlikely to be repeated anytime soon.

Enough of that, let’s get on with another poem. The penning of which has been made easier by being stuck indoors all day. For this poem, I have resorted to Sam T Coleridge for inspiration.”

POEM

Andy Young's poem

Never thought that Coleridge would get a mention in allaboutthescones.com. But when you consider that he spent many years living with the Wordsworths in the Lake District, we’re sure he would have enjoyed many a scone. And he would be proud to still be inspiring scone poets today. Many thanks to A & J.

On our way home from the Lodge at Loch Lomond we came across this fully operational K6 telephone box at Balquidder. Legend has it that Rob Roy used it regularly.A K6 at Balquidder

Scones, Uncategorized

Cafe Zestt

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What would we do without our correspondents? Really, how do you keep a scone blog going when you can’t go out for a scone? And Boris Johson thinks he has problems! At the start of this COVID pandemic, we felt the hiatus in normality was simply that, a hiatus. Now, however, we are not so sure. In fact, we are no longer very sure about anything.  To solve the problem we have done a fair bit of reposting but lately, it’s been our antipodean correspondents riding to the rescue. This is another from our poetically gifted Albury correspondent on Cafe Zestt in Crookwell. If you’re not sure where that is it’s roughly halfway between Sydney and Wagga Wagga … okay?

There is also some enlightening stuff from one of our Kiwi correspondents. It reminds us that this really is a pandemic. People on the opposite side of the world are suffering exactly the same problems as us in the UK.

But first, did you know that the antipode of Edinburgh is Papatowai on New Zealand’s south island. New York’s antipode is Augusta, Western Australia and Tokyo’s is Cidreira in Brazil. Auckland’s is Setenil de las Bodegas in Spain. You get all this and other useless information on allaboutthescones.com.

Anyway, our Albury correspondent wrote: “Well stone the flamin’ crows, as we Aussies exclaim when confronted with something astonishing. A scone at Cafe ZesttYesterday, when returning from a night in our national capital, we stopped at a one-horse drop called Crookwell for a coffee and, dare I say, a scone. The café Zestt provided us with both, and a very nice scone it was too. Perhaps a top scone, but who am I to be the judge of such things. On leaving, I noticed that the coffee brand they served was the Cat’s Pyjamas, a brand of which I had never heard. Bill’s Beans, yes, Fish River Roasters, yes, but never the Cat’s Pyjamas.

Then, blow me down, this morning I opened Bill’s latest blog to find he also drinks the Cat’s Pyjamas. It’s enough to bring on another poem!”External view of Cafe Zestt

Many thanks to A & J, can’t wait for the poem. We’re sure, however, that this Cat’s Pyjamas won’t be a patch on that from our very own coffee correspondent at Henry’s Coffee Company. Best coffee in the world … it really is the Cat’s Pyjamas.

NSW 2583      tel: +61 438 428 988        Zestt FB

///absurd.land.arithmetic

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Meanwhile, just next door in New Zealand, one of our Kiwi correspondents has been admirably busy during their lockdown. Her friend Mary always makes scones for every visit and presents them with lots of apricot jam. They look delicious! Mary's sconesShe was lamenting that fact that with the world being as crazy as it is, she may never get a return trip to Scotland. Let’s hope that isn’t the case but who knows? She sent some pics that make our slothfulness look positively criminal.

embroidery with fish
A SwordFish made from recycled garden tools and a cross-stitch embroidery

In New Zealand, of course, they are anticipating spring and summer whereas we are going the opposite way into autumn and winter. In Scotland, we have enjoyed a lot of fine weather this year but don’t think we could ever compete with our correspondent’s fabulous sweet grapefruit tree. grapefruit treeShe has also acquired this print of a quail which we think is rather splendid.

Etching of a quail
a quail by Helen Darling of Central Otago

Many thanks S & O, we loved all the pics. We are indebted to all our correspondents who enrich this blog wonderfully.

Now that we have our wheels back we may venture further afield for our next scone. Don’t want to raise expectations too high but watch this space. In the meantime stay safe.

Ordinary, Scones

Bob & Berts revisited

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Still carless so we remain pretty much tethered to home.  Our car is currently on Harris in the Outer Hebrides where the previous post hailed from. We are being inundated with photos of our granddaughters enjoying fabulous weather and swimming on Hebridean beaches.

Luskentyre beach on Harris
our granddaughter Lola running on one of the many overcrowded beaches in the Outer Hebrides

Meanwhile, back in Falkirk, with no particular desire to use public transport just yet, we were not feeling the same degree of joyous unfettered freedom. But sensing a bit of a scone urge, we quietly made our way to our own local High Street. And when we got there Bob & Berts was the only cafe with any available outside seating. So it was to be “Bob & Berts revisited”. Last time we reviewed this place it was our very first scone of 2019.

Car doors

Back then we appraised our 2018 year of sconing. The big political news of the year had been a member of the Royal family closing her own car door. The media was full of it. Some congratulatory but others full of righteous indignation at the sheer unabashed brashness of it all. Since then, of course, the responsible person has been banished from whence she came and since then all Royal car doors have remained free of scandal. Phew!

Snagging lists

Momentarily, we also turned to religion. God, we reckoned, must have looked with dismay at the mess He had made of His snagging list over two millennia. We felt, however, that He would have taken a crumb of comfort from a whole bunch of countries banding together in a spirit of cooperation to form the EU. He would have been proud! Oh dear, what will He be thinking now?Bob&Berts sign

Last time, we gave Bob and Berts a bit of a hard time for not selling us a raspberry ripple scone and importing their jam from Oregon. That’s a massive carbon footprint for a wee pot of jam. Nashville Fruit CompanyWell, this time they only had cherry scones but the jam was still the same. We have to conclude that they are either impervious to justifiable criticism or they don’t read  allaboutthescones.com. Incredibly we suspect it’s the latter. Heyho, we wouldn’t really want anyone serving American jam in Scotland to be reading our blog anyway!

A scone at Bob&BertsWe wish our “Bob & Berts revisited” experience had been an improvement on the first visit but it wasn’t. Our shared cherry scone was almost inedible. It may have been fresh on a certain day last week but it certainly wasn’t now. We left half of it. Stale scones, scooshie cream and American jam … what’s to like? Well, the coffee was actually quite good and the place itself has a nice hipsterish vibe. Not enough to make us rush back though.

Poetic scones

We are spoiled when it comes to refreshments because our coffee correspondent keeps us supplied with delicious Cat’s Pyjamas coffee from Henry’s Coffee Company. Sometimes we even find the odd anonymous package of trout on our doorstep and suspect it might be the very same correspondent. Among his many talents, he is renowned for his recitals of the poems of Robert Burns. He couldn’t bear for our antipodean corespondents to be the only ones waxing lyrically about scones so he’s penned a response.  As expected, his ditty has an appropriate Scottish flavour.

Great tastin scone yir so elusive.
Tae find yir likes, one hikes ower Scotland’s hills and glens and islands.
Thru toons and villages, some wi’ sheds, some wi’ telephone boxes.
Some oft visited by wee ‘Willy Winkie’ and Pat and Billy.
Yir crumblin crumbs and so soft centre cause chaos on my taste buds.
Yi’ll taste much better when Scotland’s independent.

Normality?

 Don’t know if this can be taken as a sign of things returning to normal after COVID? Remember the £5.36 I had in my pocket since March. Remember it mysteriously went up to £6.36. Well, now it’s gone. It’s now just 56p. No idea what’s happened but it’s definitely suffered a severe shock. It’s certainly not due to me being unduly profligate but I’ve obviously had to stick my hand in my pocket for some reason. I would, however, caution the world against taking this as conclusive proof a resumption of normality.

island, Ordinary, Scones

Isle of Harris Distillery – Again

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We know, we know, we should be out looking for new scones now that coronavirus restrictions have been relaxed. We should be endeavouring to broaden your sconological knowledge. That’s as may be, however, we don’t feel particularly adventurous just yet. There’s still a lot of COVID uncertainty. And in addition, our daughter came up from London on the train with her family then stole our car. In fact, our car may well be parked outside the Isle of Harris Distillery as we speak. We, on the other hand, are quite definitely parked in Falkirk. In other words, our scone adventuring is somewhat curtailed for the next couple of weeks.

Morar beach 2020
Our grandaughter yesterday on Morar beach on her way to the Isle of Harris

Although this was originally posted only last year when Theresa May was still striving to get her Brexit Bill through parliament, it seems like ancient history now. Nevertheless, these times that seemed particularly torrid at the time now seem of little consequence compared to what is happening this year. So let’s go back to when life was much simpler.

You all know by now that scones are our main objective where ever we go. However, sometimes it’s not as easy as you might imagine. Distractions abound e.g. sheds, eagles … distilleries! If we can’t find one to live in we feel somewhat obliged to visit them … it’s the decent thing to do. A bottle of Isle of Harris ginMaybe it’s just a Scottish thing, who knows? Anyway, this long-winded preamble is simply trying to let you know that we are in another distillery – the Isle of Harris Distillery. Like Raasay, this is another new kid on the block. It hasn’t actually produced any whisky yet but in the meantime, it’s producing lots of gin.

The old-established distilleries don’t bother with gin and probably look down their noses at those that do. However, for these new ones, cash flow is of paramount importance and ten years is a long time to wait for a return on your investment. Gin, on the other hand, you can make in a couple of days.

Sugar Kelp

Because of this, there are dedicated gin distilleries popping up all over Scotland … about 70 at the last count and they join 125 whisky distilleries. We also hadn’t realised until recently that the big well-known gins like Gordons, Hendricks and Tanquery are all produced in Scotland as well. That’s a lot of gin! They all claim to use their own unique blend of botanicals to flavour their products. On Harris, they use locally harvested sugar kelp … whatever? As long as they keep it well away from the whisky!Internal view of Isle of Harris Distillery in Tarbert

 

 

 

 

Mairi Mackenzie

Being only a few years old the distillery is very modern and has a large rather swanky visitor centre … and a café. We arrived back from our trip to the Butt of Lewis just as it was about to close. Enough time for a scone, however. A scone at Isle of Harris Distillery in TarbertMairi Mackenzie does all their home-baking and it all looked delicious. As always a scone was what we had in our sights. It came accompanied with cream and jam. We have been desperate to find a topscone on this trip and so far it has eluded us. Unfortunately, Mairi’s scone didn’t change the situation. We thoroughly enjoyed it as we did everything about this place but it came up just short of the mark … pity.

Internal view of Isle of Harris Distillery in TarbertThey call the Isle of Harris Distillery the ‘social distillery’ because it aims to become the centre of the community. It certainly provides much-needed employment in this part of the world. Island economies are always fragile so anything that increases stability is always welcome. More power to their elbow! Their first whisky is to be called ‘Hearach’ which is what people from Harris are called in Gaelic … can’t wait!

Map of the Isle of Harris
Map of the Isle of Harris

Social places

Can’t wait for the fiasco masquerading as politics under the Westminster banner to sort itself out. Today, as Theresa May gives the Speaker a body swerve and tries for a third time to get her Brexit deal through the Commons, here, on the very edge of the EU, you feel pretty insulated from all that stuff. You feel, no matter what happens, the folks on these isolated islands where everyone knows everyone else will look after each other, come what may. It would be great if we could all have that sort of social community spirit. We are coming to the end of our time on Harris … sad!

HS3 3DJ              tel: 01859 502212             Harris Distillery

Remember our Brisbane correspondent sent us a scone poem. Not to be outdone our Bathurst correspondent has responded with a work of his own.

“I enjoyed my Brisbane countryman’s poem in the last blog.  I use the term “countryman” loosely though, because Australia is fast descending into a number of separate countries, courtesy of Covid-19…..  But enough of that.  I felt it incumbent upon me, however, to respond to your Brisbane correspondent’s contribution.   I apologize in advance to Bill Wordsworth for pinching the structure of one of his better works.”

Scone poem

When it comes to poetic scones, these Aussies are certainly putting us Brits to shame. And yes, that’s a challenge!

island, Scones, Top

Artizan Café – Again

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Okay, we’re not quite back in the swing of things in terms of brand new scones so this is yet another one of our island reposts that you have all come to know and love?? This one from the Artizan Café in Stornoway is from our 2019 trip around some of the outer isles. Seems like an age ago! Theresa May was still clinging on like some demented rabid dog and we were still hopeful that Brexit would just go away. What fools we were! And we had never heard of COVID-19.

Anyway, you have all heard of BLM, Black lives Matter, the movement that swept the world in the wake of the death of George Floyd. Without wishing to diminish BLM in any way, in this post we want to raise awareness of BPM, Black Pudding Matters. So let’s go back a year.

Doubtless, you will all heave a huge sigh of relief when we say that our trip to the Outer Isles has finally come to an end. To get back home, however, we had to drive back through the hills of Harris and across the moors of Lewis to get to Stornoway. There we could catch a ferry to Ullapool on the Scottish mainland.

View of Stornoway harbour
Stornoway harbour

Tom, Dick and Harry

We aimed to leave a little time, however, so that we could see if there was more to Stornoway than black pudding. As you are all very well aware this town is the home of this delicacy. That mixture of beef suet, oatmeal, blood, onion, salt and pepper that’s become a favourite of fine dining establishments throughout the world. It’s good for you because it’s high in protein, zinc and iron. A Stornoway black puddingNow, it’s very future is endangered by Brexit. You probably have not been aware of Westminster debating the future of black pudding … because it hasn’t. Stornoway Black Pudding is a PGI (Protected Geographical Indication) under the EU Protected Food Name Scheme. Once we leave the EU that protection has gone. Any old Tom, Dick or Harry in Manchester, or wherever, will be able to produce inferior black pudding and call it ‘Stornoway’. If ever there was a reason for cancelling Brexit, this is it.

We went to Macleod & Macleod’s shop to view the genuine articles in their native surroundings, We didn’t buy. Pat’s not a fan so I would have had to eat all 1.5 kg myself. Too much even for me. Across the street from Macleod & Macleod is Artizan, a rather nice café combined with art gallery and jewellery shop.

Technological scone location

At this point perhaps we should explain the addition to the info at the end of each post. Traditionally we have provided postcode, phone number and web address. However, our correspondent, the Pedant, has complained that this only gives a vague idea of scone location … a matter of concern to him … him being a pedant and all that. An app called What3Words provides much more accurate information and will locate a scone, or at least the table it was on with a unique combination of three words. The three at the end of this post ‘calculating.sweetened.blossom’ will not only take you to the Artizan café but to the table we were sitting at in the café … provided you have the app, of course. No other table on earth has these same three words. Either a wonder of modern technology or a complete waste of time … it’s up to you. It is remarkable though and it’s free so give it a whirl if you want to know exactly where our scones are.

A scone at Artisan Cafe in StornowayAnyway, Artizan was one of these places which just gives off a good vibe as soon as you go in. Everything about it feels good. When our scone came it was complete with butter, jam and clotted cream. It was delicious. Just the right amount of crunchiness combined with an excellent fluffy soft centre. No problem awarding a topscone here. At last, our long run of ordinary scones had been broken. The lovely lady who actually baked them chatted to us while she cleared our table. She was great as well!

All good things ..

And so we have come to the end of our trip. It has been great. A bit windy perhaps but we didn’t get rained on once. We have been able to provide our readers with a much more accurate scone locating system and discovered the home of black pudding, the best reason, if ever there was one, for cancelling Brexit altogether. As Theresa May contemplates dragging her battered and bruised ‘Deal’ back to the Commons for an unbelievable 4th time, someone really needs to take her aside and speak to her about black pudding.

View of Stornoway harbour
sad farewell to Stornoway and the Outer Hebrides

HS1 2DH             tel: 01851 706538        Artizan

calculating sweetened blossom

PS: If you have downloaded the W3W app and look at ‘rake.tacky.fronds’ that’s where we are on a ferry in the middle of the Minch … see, no postcodes out here! When we reach ‘reap.scored.twitchy’ we’ll be home!

LEWIS SHEDS

Peat cutting booth's on the Isle of Lewis
Three peat cutting bothies not far from Stornoway. One far away on horizon extreme left. There’s standing room only on the Sabbath … apparently!

Readers will remember our previous post about pumpkin scones, sent by our Aussie Bathurst correspondent. Well, here’s the sequel: “Following our recent treat of pumpkin scones, I decided to have a crack at cooking some myself.An Australian scone/biscuit  Same recipe as our hostess made on our recent excursion, but unfortunately, they did not turn out as well as expected.   See photo with a one-pound coin for size comparison.  What’s more, the one-pound coin was also slightly easier to chew.  More of a biscuit really.  Possibly because we used gluten-free flour to placate some gluten-free friends we had staying.”

Ten out of ten for a very admirable effort. While we acknowledge the consistency problem, we think the size is fine. Ideal for a genteel afternoon tea. But then, do Aussies do genteel?? We’re sure they’ll let us know.

Niceties

Apparently Westminster is getting in a frenzy about the burgeoning threat of Scottish Independence. So worried they have decided to send Boris on a dangerous mission north of the non-existent border. He won’t meet any real Scots though, only fellow rich tax-avoiding folks, then he’ll scurry off back to safety. They haven’t told Nicola or the Scottish government about the visit yet which just about sums up the relationship perfectly. Scotland doesn’t and never has had a voice so why bother with niceties?

Scones, Top

The Cafe@Canada Wood

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Goodness gracious, you’ll never guess!  Yes yesterday, 15th July 2020, we actually went out for a scone. First time since 19th of March. That’s an incredible 118 coronavirus scone free days. Yesterday was the day that Scotland finally relaxed its COVID regulations … yeah! Cafés, hairdressers, shops, even pubs are allowed to open as long as they meet certain criterion. Our local pub first opened in 1827 and obviously doesn’t meet the required standards because it’s still closed … boo! Anyway, by way of celebration, we visited this place, The Cafe@Canada Wood.

It’s close to our house and we used to be regular visitors when it was called Canada Wood Kitchen and Bar.  We’ve even done a Canada Wood revisited. It’s now under new management so they have changed the name though not by very much. It gets its name from the wood which is right next to it … believe it or not, it’s called Canada Wood!

Where have all the menus gone?

Things have changed a bit since our last visit. When we arrived, although we wanted to sit outside, we had to go through the indoor bit and divulge our details; address, telephone number, email, inside leg measurement! No, not that last bit. Our table outside was complete with a QR code which when scanned let us see the menu.CR code for Canada Wood This may seem like a fair old palaver however it’s really not. It’s the new normal! In fact, if any reader wants to scan it you will see the menu as well (use the back camera on your smartphone).

It was busy with people doing exactly the same as us, enjoying newfound liberation and being in the company of others again in the sunshine. Everyone was still abiding by the social distancing rules. We had just popped out to see what it felt like and didn’t really need a menu … one fruit scone to share and two coffees. The coffees came quite quickly but the scone took a while. We were just about to ask when a delightful young server said: “I’ve checked on your scone, it’s just coming out of the oven” … relax!

It arrived a few seconds later and we were excited.happy bunny at Canada Wood Not that you could tell! In the past, we have not been too impressed with the scones here. They were either too big or just a wee bit weird. No worries this time. Maybe it was because we had been away for so long. Perhaps it was because our scone was wonderfully warm. Maybe it was the crunchy exterior and the soft interior … the jam, the cream! Who knows?  It was delicious so we were delighted to award this establishment its first topscone.

And it was card payment, so I still have my £6.36.

A scone at Canada Wood

Pigeons

When I was a young lad I used to be a beater for the shoots on Callendar Estate which owns The Cafe@Canada Wood. I and my fellow beaters would ‘beat’ through Canada Wood driving the woodpigeons towards the gentry with the guns. The toffs would be lined up along Lochgreen Road and shoot the pigeons as they emerged from the trees.  What fun! However, we did get a £1 a day for our trouble and that was good money for a youngster back then.

It’s all very well us getting out sconing again but the easing of lockdown in Scotland comes with huge risks. Although we have not had any COVID deaths over the past week, England has had 527. We think the reason for the disparity is that Boris and his team listen to Nicola Sturgeon’s clear and concise messages on coronavirus. They then wait a couple of days before repeating them but in a garbled unintelligible way. Scotland loves its southern neighbours and welcomes them as visitors but please abide by our rules. Otherwise, you’ll have Nicola to deal with!

FK1 3AZ      tel: 01324 612111     Canada Wood

Scones, Uncategorized

Pumpkin scones

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Pumpkin scones? Have you taken leave of your senses we hear you cry! Nothing to do with us … blame the Aussies. Let us explain. With virtually no COVID deaths in the past week, Scotland is gradually easing its way towards lifting lockdown. The risk of catching coronavirus is now at least five times higher in England than Scotland hence the hoo-ha about health checks on the border. In our previous post from the Wineport, we spoke of the Australian government closing the border between the states of New South Wales and Victoria. No sooner had we done so than we received an unrelated but nevertheless timely report from our Bathurst correspondents in NSW.  In their own words:

Today we went on a firewood gathering excursion on a friend’s farm about 30 miles downriver from our home in Bathurst.  For morning tea our hostess served us pumpkin scones.  Alas, no cream or jam, just butter, but they were delicious.  My understanding is that pumpkin is classed as a pig food in the UK, but you eat swedes and turnips instead, which over here, we wouldn’t touch with a barge pole. The wife of a now-deceased premier of Queensland, Flo Bjelke-Peterson, was famous for her pumpkin scones.

Pumpkin v Turnip

They raise a number of points which we will try and address here:

  1. Experienced sconeys would not expect jam and cream with a savoury cheese or pumpkin scones … basic error.
  2. Pumpkins may well be pig food over here but we also find them useful as lanterns at Halloween! Other than that pumpkins are as about as useful as Boris Johnson. Okay, we may be coming down on pumpkins a bit hard there! As lanterns, pumpkins do emit some light whereas the same could never be said of Boris
  3. They are right in saying that we do eat turnips. Every year, in January, when we celebrate the birth of Robert Burns, our national bard, huge quantities of haggis, neeps and tatties (haggis, turnips and potatoes) are consumed along with copious quantities of whisky. Burns saw these as the food and drink of the common man and elevated them above the ‘skinking ware’ that the highfalutin aristocrats partook of. He knew what he was talking about!
  4. We can only assume that the Australian aversion to turnips is due to the likelihood that most of them were sent to Australia for stealing said items. 
 
Shrewd Flo!

Our correspondents also alerted us to the wonderful Flo Bjelke-Peterson.  She was an influential member of the Australian Senate who is the first person we have come across to openly admit to using scones for political purposes. She baked them for family and friends but also for the journalists that used to stake out her home. “They help me relate to the women who make them, and the men who eat them.” So we concede that these pumpkin scones must have been pretty good otherwise their influence politically would have been extremely limited.

When readers in the UK have finished gnawing on their turnips they might want to try Flo’s recipe … if they have a leftover lantern from Halloween!

INGREDIENTS:


1 tablespoon of butter
½ cup of sugar
¼ teaspoon of salt
1 egg
1 cup of cooked mashed pumpkin (cooled)
2-2¼ cups self-raising flour

METHOD: Preheat your oven to 250°C. Beat together butter, sugar and salt with an electric mixer until light and fluffy.
Add egg, then pumpkin and stir in the flour.
Turn dough onto a floured board and cut into circles.
Place on a tray on the top shelf of a very hot oven (225-250°C) for 15-20 minutes.
Remove from oven, allow to cool and serve with butter.
Note: As with all scone dough, it is important not to overmix the dough. Keep your touch light, knead it as little as possible, and only work it enough to just bring it together. When you have cut your scone rounds out, you can recombine the leftover dough to make more scones, but again, don’t overwork the dough, or you will end up with tough scones.

NOTE: We are, of course, hugely grateful to our Bathurst correspondents. Keep them coming but maybe try some proper scones next time.

BREAKING

Donald Trump has been seen wearing a mask. Apparently, he likes it and thinks it makes him look like the Lone Ranger. Up until now, we suspected that he was suffering from another virus which seems to accompany coronavirus. We’re not singling him out, lot’s of people seem to have the imasthickasshitvirus. Sorry!

Who knows, if things continue to go well, we may be able to get out scone hunting again very soon.