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Scones, Uncategorized

Costa – Virginia Water

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You know how sometimes you just know that it’s going to be one of these days. It didn’t start off too badly because we had a free day. That meant we could go anywhere and do as we pleased … yeah! Since it was raining heavily we decided to take a train trip to Virginia Water in South West London. Why there? There are lots of possible reasons.

  • The richest town in the UK with an average home cost of over £1m?
  • Home of Wentworth Golf Club?
  • Elton John, Cliff Richard, Bruce Forsyth, Diana Dors and Nick Faldo have all had homes there?

The only reason for this place figuring in our consciences at all is that my dad used to play in the Virginia Water darts team when he was a trainee forester in the early 1930s. We thought it would be nice to have a look around … and maybe find the pub .. or even a scone.

Internal view of Costa, Virginia WaterWe’ve already said it was one of these days. London has a fabulous train system where you simply tap your bank card in at the first station and tap out when you have reached your destination. Your bank account is automatically debited. It works really well. When we got off at Virginia Water, however, there was nowhere to tap out? When we asked at the ticket office the chap informed us, with a wry smile, that we had gone beyond the Transport For London (tfl) area. We would get an automatic fine for our trouble and in addition, we would have to buy a return ticket to get back. Great!

When is a scone not a scone?

It was still raining heavily when we left the station. All the roads were flooded and even making pedestrian progress was extremely difficult. To top things off, Virginia Water also seemed to be sconeless. An almond croissant at Costa, Virginia WaterCould things get any worse? After about an hour we decided to cut our losses and head back to the station. In a last desperate bid to salvage something from our day we ended up in Costa – Virginia Water in the vain hope that they might save the day. When is a scone not a scone … when it’s an almond croissant, that’s when! Needless to say there were no scones here either. Actually the croissant was delicious, but you don’t want the hear about that. We didn’t find my dad’s pub. We suspect it was the Wheatsheaf Hotel but it was too far to walk in these conditions.

Fitting in

There’s only about five and a half thousand inhabitants in Virginia Water and they all seem to do alright for themselves. ‘Private’ notices abound and most of the houses have large wrought irons gates and gardens about the size of a small golf course. In 1998 General Pinochet was placed under house arrest in one of the houses pending his extradition back to Chile. Pity really because if he had hung around he would have fitted right into the current UK government’s cabinet.

When the Prime Minister, Dominic Cummings, sat down with the Chancellor, Dominic Cummings, and the rest of the cabinet of mini Dominic Cummingses, Pinochet might have felt very at home. Indeed, Attila the Hun would not have felt out of place! The irony is simply breathtaking. After almost four years of striving to leave the EU and its unelected bureaucrats the UK ends up being run by an unelected bureaucrat. Downing Street’s latest appointment, Andrew Sabisky, with his horrendous racist views, thankfully only lasted about twenty four hours.

Apologies for the sconelessness of Virginia Water but our day was not entirely lost. We found out that no matter how plush the mansions, we could not live in a town without scones.

GU25 4AA.     Costa

///novel.hired.miles

This what happens when you decide to get your cast iron work done outwith Scotland. This old post box in London was made by Handyside Foundry in London … and London is obviously too close to Pisa.Leaning post box in Barnes, London

Ordinary, Scones

The Portonian Bakery

This is a bit of a nostalgia trip for us, or at least for me … and it’s only three miles from home! In spite of the short distance we hardly ever visit Grangemouth because it’s not the place it used to be. Not that a town whose main feature is a petrochemical refinery was ever a must-see destination for anyone. Having said that, Grangemouth during the day unfortunately always looks like Grangemouth but at night, if you squidge your eyes a bit, with all its myriad of twinkly lights, it looks like Vegas.

General dogsbody

Back in the good old days, however, it did have a lot more going for it. I started my working life directly across from the Portonian Bakery & Tea Rooms in what was then Lumley Street. The architect Philip Cocker, in his offices next to the Bon Accord pub, was my lucky employer. I was head dogsbody. Used and abused by all the staff but it was a great, I thoroughly enjoyed my time there. At lunchtime we could wander down to the refinery, then owned by BP, and use their excellent canteen facilities. Not sure we were supposed to be there but, in those days, no one seemed to mind. After work, on the way home, you could take a wee detour through the docks gazing up at the ships. Wondering where they had come from and where they were going to next.

Today, everything is very different and none of it for the better. Cocker’s and the Bon Accord no longer exist. In fact Lumley Street itself has disappeared, replaced by the awful concrete edifice that is the La Porte Precinct shopping centre. The refinery, now Ineos, is still there but owned by one man and there is no way he is going to allow you anywhere near the place never mind let you in for lunch. The docks are fenced off … Bin Laden saw to that. As Trump so eloquently puts it … sad! Internal view of the Portonian Bakery and Tea Room in Grangemouth

When I worked across the road, the 60s style building that now houses The Portonian Bakery & Tea Rooms was a Victorian tenement with shops on the ground floor and houses above accessed by open spiral stone stairs round the back. The tearoom gets its name from the fact that natives of Grangemouth are referred to as Portonians.

Price wars

Already depressed by the state of the shopping centre we came in here for a spot of lunch. At first, it didn’t do much to lighten our mood. The multinational Costa coffee house across the road was strangely empty but this place was busy busy. What was going on? Eventually we worked out that it had to be down to price. We had a light lunch of sandwiches and a scone with coffee and a peppermint tea for the price of a couple of coffees in Costa. If it’s a price war that’s going on we know who is winning. That did lighten the mood considerably. A scone at the Portonian Bakery and Tea Room in GrangemouthWith it being a bakery we had relatively high hopes that the scones would be topnotch. They were good but with an overall softness which is not to our own particular taste.

Now, answer this question … why are packs of frozen butter so often served with soft scones?? Unless you put them in your trouser pocket our down your cleavage for a couple of minutes it is nigh on impossible to spread them. In the end they were okay but probably not as good as their strawberry tarts. We didn’t have any strawberry tarts but we thought the picture might stimulate your salivary glands.Strawberry tarts at the Portonian Bakery and Tea Room in Grangemouth

Battle of Grangemouth

Since Westminster has been going about bullying other countries into agreeing with them about how utterly dastardly Russia is, there has been barely a mention of Brexit. As distraction politics goes it has worked perfectly … what next? In 2013, politics, or at least Labour politics, took a bit of a bashing here in Grangemouth in what became known in some quarters as the Battle of Grangemouth. Not a battle as such, more of an almighty industrial dispute. It did mark the moment however when the labour movement finally lost its way. It descended into factionalism and Jim Ratcliffe, the owner of Ineos, rode off into the sunset with a grin like the proverbial Cheshire cat.

Even with Corbyn in charge, the Labour party still has not found its way. The other day they voted with the Conservatives to oust the popularly elected SNP administration in our own Falkirk Council … unbelievable. Poor old Keir Hardie, would be spinning in his grave. Nice as this trip down memory lane was we probably won’t be back anytime soon … too many memories.

FK3 8AW         no telephone          Portonian Bakery & Tea Rooms FB

Ordinary, Scones

The Larder

Just when you think you have done all the tearooms and coffee shops in your home town, lo and behold, another one pops up. Mind you the Larder has been open quite a few months now … we just hadn’t noticed it. Getting noticed is crucially important for all new businesses. Yet unbelievably this place has neither wifi or a contact telephone number. And, to make matters even worse, it has a big glossy Costa directly across the road. The Larder, therefore, has the dubious distinction of being the only establishment we have ever reviewed for which we cannot find a phone number.  It also ‘borrows’ its wifi from another business nearby and it doesn’t have a website. We fear for the Larder’s future. No matter how good the scones are.  Internal view of the Larder, Falkirk

It’s a shame that we were the only customers because the two young girls who appeared to be running the place were trying hard. Maybe some home baking would set us on the right track? No, they simply buy their scones from Costco, a huge wholesale warehouse in Glasgow. However, any preconceptions we may have harboured about warehouse scones were quickly dashed. They actually turned out to be quite good. On the large side but quite light and fluffy on the inside.  A scone at the Larder, FalkirkNo hope of a topscone here but service, tea and coffee were all good … we wish the Larder well and hope they get themselves sorted out before long.

The vote

This week it was hard to miss stories about suffragettes and the amazing things they had to do to get noticed. It was, of course, the  centenary of women getting the vote in 1918.  Strictly speaking only 40% of women got the vote then  as opposed to 58 % of men. The rest had to wait another ten years. Nowadays most people find it totally incredible that all this was happening only 100 years ago. It’s a bit like the internet. Young people think it has always been there. They think the ‘right to vote’ has always been there too and are surprised to learn that it is in fact a relatively recent innovation.

Back in 1707, at the Treaty of Union between Scotland and England, ‘the people’ would have loved a vote. According to accounts at the time, 99 out of 100 ordinary people were against the Union. Of the 175 eligible voters 106 voted in favour and the rest, as they say, is history. We would like to think that, when Scotland becomes an independent country again, people will look back 100 years from now, with the same incredulity afforded to the suffragettes, at the fact that we were once ruled by another country. We will let you know how the Larder gets on.

FK1 1LZ            The Larder TA

Ordinary, Scones

Findlays

Back in at home after our all too brief sojourn up north. The weather has come out in sympathy with our mood, it’s a bleak kind of day. After attending to some business in the town centre we ended up here at Findlays, hoping to have our spirits raised. The rather impressive old Victorian building was built in 1893 as Falkirk’s main Post Office but since then it has undergone a variety of uses leading up to it’s current incarnation as the Falkirk Business Hub, a place which provides a home to over 30 businesses and employs around 150 people. Findlays 03Findlays is the café for the FBH but is open to everyone.

It’s pleasant enough. If it was just providing canteen facilities to the FBH, it would be doing a great job. However it has ambitions and promotes itself as ‘the home of great food and coffee’  .. but it just isn’t. It looks and feels like part of the Hub and lacks that coffee shop vibe. These days we expect wifi everywhere we go. Here the password is helpfully provided on the menu .. but it doesn’t work. The correct password (the one with the capital letter at the start) is on a wall blackboard … annoying. Doubly annoying to have people cleaning windows and going around with feather dusters while you are trying to eat your scone!  Findlays 02So far, so not so good … the mood was not lifting!

Here you might hope that the scones would ride to the rescue with a glowing report and everyone would live happily ever after … but no. It was a case of style over substance. Presentation is a wonderful thing, it delights the eye and heightens expectations. These expectations however have to be fulfilled and sadly this was not the case here. They were disappointingly pasty and heavy. Could the mood get any blacker? Well, yes, just look at the news.

Advice on Brexit

It turns out that Scottish Labour’s PFI scandal has taken a turn for the worse. Not only are our schools and hospitals crumbling, we don’t even know who owns them. The ownership of many being held in overseas tax havens. No one seems too sure who owns British Home Stores either as it descends into receivership. This is the super-duper modern business world we live in! Good though, that Barak Obama managed to stop by to wish the Queen a happy birthday and offer his advice on Brexit. Having advised on the Scottish referendum, he presumable felt he had to do the same for the EU one. Findlays 04Obama is probably the best US President there has been for a long long time. We need not kid ourselves, however, that it is all being done with some sort of ‘special relationship’ benevolence. The US only cares about one thing .. the US!

Looking to the multinationals

Findlays is not doing anything particularly wrong but, based on our visit, it is not doing anything particularly right either. The website is a waste of time. Once again it is a case of taking a long hard look at the multinationals like Costa and Café Nero and figuring out how they always get it so right. We wish them luck. Let’s hope we will be in a better mood by the next post.

FK1 1LL            tel: 01324 614062               Findlays Business Hub

Ordinary, Scones

Tea Jennys

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This is a lovely little cafe tucked away in Kings Court, just off the High Street in Falkirk. Originally called Kings Arms Court, any hostelry of that name has long since vanished into the mists of time. It is great to see establishments like Tea Jennys thriving in spite of the tax avoiding multinationals like Starbucks, Costa and Caffé Nero snapping up all the prime sites in town.  Of course, as we reported in an earlier post some places could do with taking a leaf out of the multinationals book. Because, aside from the tax stuff which isn’t really their fault, they really do know their business. You get the feeling though that Tea Jennys, has probably looked closely at what the multinationals are doing, noted it, then decided to take an alternative approach. It does everything the big boys do but just does it differently.

tea and tea cosies at Tea Jennies, falkirk
tea and tea cosies

 

The meals, cakes and scones are home made for a start, all excellent, but it is the other little touches that set it apart. The home-knitted tea cosys, a different one for each teapot. There was a santa hat and a christmas pudding on ours. No tea bags here either, the tea is proper leaf tea served in proper tea pots, in proper tea cups with a proper tea strainer. The decor is a bit chintzy .. but different. Certainly not like any multinational that we have visited. The service is warm and friendly. Unfortunately when we visited they only had cheese scones left. Equally unfortunately they forgot about the scones in our order.

Prospering

A gentle reminder, however, brought profuse apologies .. and our scones, nicely toasted. scones at Tea Jennys, FalkirkNot topscones but very good, we may have to come back earlier in the day to catch a plain or a fruit scone. Something to look forward to next year. It’s not as if Tea Jennys is simply holding its own against the multinational competition it appears to be thriving. They recently opened a deli and an additional cafe further along the street. Long may they continue to prosper. Internal view of Tea Jennys, Falkirk

Here’s to 2016

This is probably our last scone of 2015. It only leaves us to wish all our readers a very merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And thank you for all the support and enthusiasm throughout the year. Here’s to 2016, may all your scones be topscones.

FK1 1PG               tel: 01324 228185             Tea Jennys TA

Ordinary, Scones

Lite Bites

1 Comment

Tarbert is not exactly overburdened with café-culture type establishments and that’s a shame because it could do with some. Of course it’s easy for the likes of us to swan in to a town like this and be super critical simply because we are used to something different. We don’t have to maintain a place through t

Tarbert03

he winter when visitors are few and far between. Otherwise Starbucks or Costa would have set up here long ago. However, if there is a re

 

ally good coffee shop in Tarbert, you need to shout louder because we could not find you. We did find Lite Bites however.

Town planning

The town itself is built round the harbour however it is not nearly as busy as it once was. Fishing still goes on but it is much diminished. It now features an extensive marina which you would think would bring in a fair amount of money but in fact, the whole place looks a wee bit run down and tired. It does not help the overall impression  when you eventually find a coffee shop situated in a building that would not have looked out of place in the old  Soviet Russia. If Argyll has a town planning department it has some very serious questions to answer! Tarbert01

Facelift

Anyway, Lite Bites has a certain utilitarian feel to it as well probably inspired by the building. However, it is busy busy, so the hard working folks running it are doing something right. They also seem to get on well with the local people. Our scones were okay but as you might expect, presentation was a touch on the austere side. Hopefully Lite Bites and Tarbert itself will get a bit of a facelift before long.

PA29 6UJ            tel: 01880 820191             Lite Bites TripAd

Scones, self-service

Mitchell’s Coffee Corner

1 Comment

When you visit Oban and have done McCaig’s Folly, the shops, the harbour and the distillery you may feel in need of a cuppa and a scone. Mitchell’s Coffee Corner is not far from the Harbour and opposite one of Oban’s best pubs, Aulay’s Bar.
Internal view of Coffee Corner, ObanDon’t get your hopes up too far however. Not much in the way of atmosphere and the surroundings, like the scones, were a bit utilitarian. No table service and the scones come pre-buttered. Just why anyone would want to do this is quite beyond us. Do they know how much butter, if any, people want? My scone came with too much butter and the scone itself could probably best be described as ‘firm’. My coffee was fine as was Pat’s tea. A scone at the Coffee Corner, ObanWe wish Mitchell’s Coffee Corner well but it needs to brighten itself and it’s service up a bit .. just a bit tired and uninspiring. We like to promote the small independent businesses wherever possible so just as well Costa, next door, don’t do scones.

There is more to Oban than just ferries, follies and scones. The transatlantic telephone cable came ashore here during the Cold War and carried the hotline between the US President and the President of the USSR. The Nuclear Reporting Cell was located here as well in 1925. It housed the Royal Observer Corps who were responsible for reporting foreign nuclear aggression to Westminster.

PA34 4LL                tel: 01631 562 588               Coffee Corner TA