So here we are at the Narrow Neck Beach Café! Have the coronavirus restrictions been lifted we hear you cry? No, of course, they haven’t. Fortunately, not all countries are led by buffoons. New Zealand, for example, is led by Jacinda Ardern, who is about as far away from our own idiotic leaders as it’s possible to get. She has just continued a live interview during an earthquake for goodness sake! As a result of that leadership, our wonderful Kiwi correspondents have been able to travel and meet friends in cafés that are actually open. Bravo NZ! Perhaps more importantly, their report allows us to provided a brief respite from our never-ending diet of old island scones. Though come to think of it, New Zealand is an island!
Devonport to Takapuna
Anyway, we can do no better than let them describe this mini scone adventure in their own words. We are sooo jealous! “We spent the day walking to Devonport and back to Takapuna 20kms. Beautiful day as you can see, and another 50 odd photos ?. We stopped for late breakfast at Narrow Neck Beach Cafe on the way. An excuse for me to try a very cheesy scone. Seated on a bench, in the sun on a beautiful autumn day, Rangitoto Island for a view, Trim Latte and scone. It looked delicious, very cheesy a little crisp on top, warm, and relatively soft inside and with extra butter!. And it tasted delicious ?. A perfect scone I think?“
In case you are wondering ‘trim latte’ is kiwi-speak for a latte made with skimmed milk. It’s all part of your sconalogical education and could avoid potential embarrassment while ordering a coffee next time you’re in NZ. Obviously, our correspondents are not qualified to classify scones officially but we are happy to believe that we would have given them a topscone had we been there. When the restrictions lift?? Many thanks to S&O.
The fact that Dominic Cummings is still in his post following his really stupid behaviour amply demonstrates that he actually IS the Tory party and he actually IS the government. Nothing happens without his say so. The arrogance of Johnson and Cummings is mind-blowing, they clearly think they are truly exceptional. Cummings particular skill lies in being able to persuade the public that what is good for the elite is actually good for them as well. Hence there are bigger things than a trip to Barnard Castle he has to answer for: Brexit, food banks, privatisation, homelessness for example. He won’t go until he has given his hapless boss, Boris permission to get rid of him. However, he may find out shortly that his real boss is the great British public.
As New Zealand rolls into autumn, we go into summer. Let’s hope that we can have the same liberties as our New Zealand friends by then.
This visit to Brodick Castle was back in 2016 in cahoots with the Scottish Wildlife Trust. Things were better then. For one thing, I was four years younger and my arthritic hands had not deteriorated to the extent they have today. I mention this because it raises an important question.
Pat and I are muddling through this COVID-19 isolation business as best we can. The other day, however, while trying to extract a cork from a bottle of prosecco I noticed I was having some difficulty. So what is the question? Well, women have babies; they have to contend with everything mother nature throws at them; wear high heels; look beautiful; put up with men all while being sensible. So, if a man can’t even pop a cork … what’s left? It’s okay I’m not un dergoing some sort of crisis … I don’t think? Anyway back to the wonderful Isle of Arran.
On the opposite side of Brodick Bay from our hotel stands the imposing Brodick Castle. We have been here before but having looked across the water at it for the past few days we thought another visit might be worthwhile. But first, so that you can get this scone in context, a little history.
King Hakon and all that
Some sort of fortification has been on this site since at least the fifth century. By the tenth century, Norse influence had grown, and Arran was controlled by King Hakon of Norway. However, when some Scottish upstarts began to question his authority, he sent a large fighting fleet to sort things out. That resulted in the Battle of Largs in 1263 … which he lost. He retreated to Brodick and then to Orkney where he died the following year. The ensuing Treaty of Perth in 1266 ceded Arran and other islands to the Kingdom of Scotland. Oliver Cromwell occupied the castle for a while and then it fell to the Hamilton family who occupied it for several centuries. In 1957 it was gifted to the nation by the Duchess of Montrose to avoid death duties. The National Trust for Scotland eventually took it over.. and now we are here!
Scottish produce
The grounds are immaculately kept and there is a tearoom for visitors but of course today we’re sitting outside in the spring sunshine. Like most NTS places, it is self-service so we duly selected a mixture of cheese and fruit scones. Sometimes, if we are feeling particularly daring, we mix things up and have half each. Everything was fine though we can sometimes get a little irritated by the presence of the ubiquitous tubs of Rodda’s cornish cream. The Arran Creamery is just down the road, do we really have to bring it all the way from Cornwall? The jam was from Manchester … c’mon NTS! Do you know what the ‘S’ in your name stands for? What must tourists think?
The scones were very nice but not quite nice enough for a topscone. We got plenty exercise chasing fly away napkins but, all in all, it was a lovely scone-break in a beautiful setting.
MacBraynes
We have probably travelled on a couple of dozen ferries over the past year or so and, as a consequence, have become quite familiar with Caledonian MacBrayne. It was once said that “God gave us the earth and MacBraynes the Western Isles”. A slight, inferring that the ferry company held the islands to ransom. There may have been an element of truth in that at one time but, with the introduction of RET (Road Equivalent Tariff), not any more. Our trip to Arran, involving four ferries, cost a grand total of just over £50 for a car and four passengers. Not too bad at all!
Building ships in Scotland again
So, we are delighted with the news that the Scottish government, in the face of all the EU regulations, have managed to award the ongoing £900m contract to publicly owned CalMac over privately owned Serco. And build their ships on the Clyde. Even King Hakon would have been proud.
We had walked along the beach to Brodick Castle from our hotel but decided to get the bus back. The bus stop on the main road opposite the castle entrance makes waiting for the bus a real pleasure. There were seals sunning themselves on a rock and an oystercatcher’s nest on the seaward side of the wall. You are almost annoyed when the bus comes.
Amongst other things, today we saw siskins, sedge warblers, guillemots and red-legged partridges. Alas, still no eagles.
We may owe Boris an apology. He has singlehandedly broken the UK up into its constituent parts. Bravo! It has always been thus, of course, but before now Westminster and the media have always thought of the UK as ‘a country’ rather than a ‘state’ made up of four equal countries. Okay, two countries, a Principality and a province to be precise but you know what we mean. Boris has unwittingly downgraded himself, to Prime Minister of England, the selfless wee soul that he is.
This scone from the Strynd Tearoom on Orkney goes back a couple of years. As the current lockdown gives us time to ponder on the current state of our civilisation, Orkney might make you question how far we have progressed over the past 5000 years. After Boris’s long-awaited public announcement you could be forgiven for thinking, ‘not very far’. We should know by now that when he opens his mouth all that c omes out is lies and confusion. But give him some credit. It’s all designed, in the event of another COVID flare up, to put the blame squarely on us … you didn’t STAY ALERT! Anyway, 2 years ago or 5000 years ago…
The wind is still blowing with wicked enthusiasm. In spite of that, our plan for today is to visit the west of Mainland … Skara Brae and all that, and end up in Kirkwall, the capital. Most sconeys will know something of the rich archaeology of Orkney.
5000-year-old Skara Brae neolithic village with Skaill House in the distance
Up here they were building houses and having a high old time of it long before things like the Pyramids and Stonehenge had even been thought of. However, our abiding memory of Skara Brae will be of getting sandblasted by the wind coming off the beach. Certainly gives you a rosy complexion.
Orkney weather is dramatic and changes every five minutes
Another problem with the wind is holding your binoculars steady enough to identify birds.
Cobwebs
We had no problem though with a brilliant view of a female hen harrier not far from Skara Brae. It is a thrill to see these relatively rare birds because they rather stupidly nest on the ground. As a result, their young usually fall foul of predators before they can fledge. Pat’s list is now over forty which she is thrilled about. However, her joy was such that it was all I could do to stop her stealing a road sign to one of the local villages. Completely cobweb free, we eventually made it to Kirkwall and the Strynd Tearoom.
Go north for scones
Like Stromness, Kirkwall also has lots of wee lanes and this tearoom takes its name from the lane where its located. When we asked how to pronounce ‘Strynd’. It seemed to be “Strand’ but with the strangulated pronunciation that maybe a South African would use. It is a tiny place but lovely and everything is home made. Once again we were made very welcome and once again our scones were excellent. We are developing a theory that the further north you go the better the scones are. We have had nothing but topscones recently. The Strynd scone was warm and served with nice pots of jam and cream. The scone itself looked as if it would be crunchy but wasn’t. It was gloriously soft and absolutely delicious … another topscone!
The Big Tree
Now, while most of you will have heard of the Ring of Brodgar and other Orcadian archaeological gems, how many of you have heard of The Big Tree? Or how many have heard of the Heimskringla? Thought so … let us explain.
Everything is relative
Heimskringla is a book of Old Norse sagas written in Iceland in the 12th century … you’ve probably read it. The Big Tree is the only one left of three that were planted by Robert Laing, father of the Heimskringla’s translator, in his garden over 200 years ago. When they widened the main street by demolishing Laing’s walled garden this tree was left standing in the street. When you look at it you might wonder why it’s called The Big Tree? Well, in Orkney terms, it is! And it is obviously much loved. It still supports a luxurious head of leaves although largely hollow. And it is supported by steel girders inserted in its trunk to keep it upright.
DNA
What else has been happening in the big bad world while we have been enjoying ourselves on this island. Here, you quickly feel kind of snugly insulated from the outside world? The media is still largely ignoring the biggest political conference in the UK. The SNP conference. They are concentrating instead on the sexual indiscretions of a Hollywood director that few have heard of and no one could care less about.
Theresa May is still clinging on like a barnacle while Britain skillfully negotiates a “no deal‘, Brexit. Catalonia seems to have rather skillfully blindsided the Spanish government … for the moment! Trump’s big golf courses in Scotland seem to be losing a fortune … bad! Scotland’s football team is no longer eligible for another pointless World Cup competition because of our DNA according to the manager … good! Well, well, well … the Big Tree has seen it all before.
Pat bought me a bottle of Scapa, one of my favourite whiskies, while we were at the distillery. Mind you it was only because of a guilty conscience. Previously, unbeknown to me, she had given away my one and only bottle. All was forgiven.
Change
Has anyone else noticed a subtle but profound change in the media’s reporting of the coronavirus crisis? When Nicola Sturgeon is forced to clear up the confusion by saying “When Boris Johson speaks, he speaks only for England” it marks a change. And now the media refers to “the four nations of the UK” where previously most of them wouldn’t even have countenanced Scotland as a nation at all. This is all very welcome but where will it all end?
The Puffer Bar takes us back to 2015 when Greece was teetering on the edge of bankruptcy and having to be bailed out by the EU.
How are you all getting on in coronavirus isolation? It is odd to think that the whole world is experiencing the same thing. Only, of course, it is not the same for everyone, far from it. We really feel for people who don’t have the luxury of a nice house and a large garden. It tempers our criticism of those apparently flouting the rules of lockdown but we still wish they wouldn’t. Thankfully we have the Donald “Covid-19 might go away this fall or next year – or sooner, or possibly later” to give us advice … and hope! We actually prefer the advice of our own Scottish novelist J.M. Barrie which seems apt for the current situation: “The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does.”
The tiny island of Easdale once had a population of over 500, all of whom were employed in the slate mining industry. Slate was exported as far as Australia, Canada and New Zealand. However, the last slate was cut in the 1950s and most of the houses are now holiday homes with a steady population of around 60. Easdale island lies off another island, Seil, but you can reach Seil via the Bridge over the Atlantic.
Part of the large village green at Easdale
World Championships
There is no bridge to Easdale however so to get there from Seil you have to press two buttons simultaneously on the jetty at Ellenabeich village. This summons the little ferry boat which only takes a couple of minutes to do the crossing. Once on Easdale, the whole island is car-free so peace and quiet reigns supreme. Just the sound of the sea and the birds, what a great place for kids to play. However, this idyll is broken every September when hordes of enthusiasts descend on the place for the annual World Stone Skimming Championships. The competition takes place in one of the old quarries.
You have the choice of one pub, the Puffer Bar and Restaurant, take it or leave it. Luckily it is a wee gem. On a wonderfully warm day like this, it was like a little bit of heaven. Especially with our homebaked scones and homemade jam. Ours was bramble and lime. The scones were wonderfully light and the tea delicious. As we sit here we read that the new euro is to be printed on Greece proof paper. This really does seem like another world. A man suffering cheap cialis 5mg from impotence lives under depression. It can make us doubt ourselves. overnight generic cialis During osteoporosis bone levitra professional micro architecture deteriorates, and the amount and variety of proteins in bone is altered leaving bones prone to fracture even from a slight blow. They improve your stamina levitra generic for happy activities in the bed. View from Ellenabeich towards Mull and the ferry terminal on the left.
Even with COVID-19 we suspect that life on Easdale has proceeded pretty much the same as always. According to the internet the Puffer is still open and what if it is? The island doesn’t have COVID and no one can travel there so what’s the problem. The problem is that we can’t get there either!!!
EASDALE SHED
A shed on a fine drying day on the Isle of Easdale
How about a break with the tradition of recycling of old island scones? Our wonderful Sydney correspondents have sent us a bit of exotica as well as a scone recipe. As keen cruisers who don’t bake they remembered the Cunard scones as being delicious on their last trip. They wrote to Cunard and asked for the recipe and Cunard wrote back. How’s that for initiative and dedication … bravo! Though, what’s the point if they don’t bake? It’s simply a highly commendable service to fellow sconeys … bravo again!
In another break with tradition, we have decided not to make any political comments. Especially on our incompetent Tory government and its blubbering buffoon of a leader. Just think, they could easily furlough everyone until whenever necessary just by not renewing Trident. After all, what’s the point of having weapons of mass destruction if there’s no one left to kill? But it’s a waste of time and effort so we’re not commenting.
‘There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea.’ Henry James, Portrait of a Lady
We can’t judge these scones, of course, but this is Nick Oldroyd, the Executive chef’s recipe. If you are going to try it you don’t have to bother with the branding. Unless, of course, you really want to.
Of course, this sort of thing is all very well for Aussie sophistocats but what about the likes of us. Has any of this persuaded us to take to luxury cruising? These floating palaces do have swimming pools, gymnasiums, fine dining restaurants and signature scones. They take you effortlessly to exotic islands like Bermuda and Seychelles. But can any of these destinations boast a decent shed? No! For the moment we will restrict our cruising to Scottish ferries. Caledonian MacBraynes have scones as well but we have never managed to try one because we’re always up on deck with our binoculars looking for shearwaters and puffins.
We are indebted to our correspondents for giving us a glimpse into their hedonistic world and also to Cunard for use of their photographs. Don’t worry shed fans, they will reappear with the next post but probably not alongside a signature scone.
ps: I still have £5.36 in my pocket. Remember I started out in March with £10.36 but mysteriously lost a fiver along the way. Remarkably the rest is still intact.
Apologies for the randomness of these scone reposts. It’s just the way we pick them … randomly! The Callanish Stones post is from just over a year ago when we were visiting the Outer Isles. In this time of coronavirus doom and gloom, these stones should remind us that 5000 years ago these technological marvels were, like they still are today, wondrous. Their purpose and why they are there is the subject of pure guesswork, again a bit like the current pandemic. Things don’t change that much.
Apologies for the plethora of scones winging your way of late. It’s what happens when we are in virgin territory. A new scone opportunity at every turn. Bear with us, normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.
Today we are venturing further afield onto the Isle of Lewis … another first for us. There is always something exciting about being somewhere for the first time, especially when it’s in your own country. Having spent much of our lives exploring Scotland, sometimes we feel we have barely scratched the surface.
Attractions
To get to Lewis you have to drive through some spectacular scenery on North Harris. Lots of big hills and some massive white-tailed eagles. Pat’s a happy bunny. Once beyond the hills, however, you emerge into a great flatness which is characteristic of Lewis. Vast vistas of open moorland and lochs with sprinklings of houses. We passed Uig Bay where the 12th century Lewis chessmen were dug up on the beach in 1831. Just why these artefacts are displayed in London and Edinburgh is beyond us. Both cities need additional attractions like a hole in the head but the Chessmen would be a fantastic draw, here where they were actually discovered.
Attempts at time travel
Anyway, before long we arrived here at the world-famous Callanish Stones. We think these would be displayed in London as well if they weren’t so damned awkward to transport. There are stone circles all over the place in this locality but Callanish is the biggest and best known. Dating from around 5000BC and sometimes known as the “Stonehenge of the North” they predate Stonehenge by 2000years. Pat tried to imitate Outlander’s Claire Fraser by gently leaning against the largest stone … she’s still here.
Callanish Visitor Centre
The stones used to be much smaller, or rather their true height wasn’t discovered until 1857 when 1.5 metres of peat was cleared away. Some think that they formed a lunar observatory but we prefer the story about them being petrified giants who refused to convert to Christianity. Another story is that, on midsummer morning, when the cuckoo calls, the “Shining One” walks the length of the avenue leading to the circle. Petrified giants and Shining Ones … the temptation to find analogies with modern-day politics is almost overwhelming. However, we will leave that to your own imaginations. Pat didn’t see any cuckoos!
The quest continues
Thankfully they have a Visitor Centre to provide scones and shelter from the wind. The Centre tells the story of the stones even though no one actually knows anything about them. It is all just guesswork. Arrgghh, the temptation to find analogies with Brexit! The cafe is nicely set up and must be a huge boon for the locals of Callanish and the surrounding area. There was no cream however our scones were very good indeed. In the end, however, we decided they were not quite topscones. Our quest for a Hebridean topscone continues.
Ridiculous strictures
When we left Callanish we continued on to Port of Ness, the most northerly point on Lewis. We knew we had reached the end of the road when we came on this sign. This is strict Free Church of Scotland territory … nothing but nothing happens here on a Sunday. We met a chap on Harris who told us that if you hang out a washing on the Sabbath you get a visit from men in black hats and black suits who will order you to take the washing in. They are members of the Lord’s Day Observance Society. He added, with a telling glint in his eye “I can’t wait for them to come to my door”. We wondered how much more advanced this whole island would be without these ridiculous strictures.
A fantastic part of the world and one that won’t be greatly affected by the shenanigans at Westminster. Theresa’s attempt to take on the Shining One’s mantle by promising the petrified that she will take herself off to a field of wheat somewhere if they let her have her way on Brexit, won’t cause a stir up here. As long as she doesn’t do it on a Sunday. All this because as she says “that is what the country wants!” No, it isn’t Theresa but don’t let that stop you going.
ps: we also came across this K6 in Port of Ness which must rank as the most north-westerly in the UK. It wasn’t operational … someone might use it on a Sunday for goodness sake. It was however made in Falkirk.
Port of Ness was always far away but now with COVID-19, it seems even further … strange! Not as strange though as Bojo experiencing a surge in popularity. The UK, like the US, seems to just love incompetents.
LEWIS SHED
A shed and a ruined croft on the great flat moorlands of the Isle of Lewis
This repost from the Atlantic Islands Centre is from way back in 2015. We spent almost a week on this tiny island (6×1.5miles) which now makes us wonder what we did for all that time? Can’t remember but we do remember having a great time. For example, one evening we set off walking round the coast to the town of Port Mary in the NW of the island. We searched and searched but, apart from lots of slate workings there was no trace of the town we thought we had seen on the map. Apparently, it’s just the name of a bay! Took a whole evening to find that out though so you get the idea of how we can easily fritter away a week.
The Isle of Luing (pronounced Ling) is not one we have ever been on before. We were not only excited to be visiting but also to find that in the capital, Cullipool, there was the Atlantic Islands Centre .. with a café. When we got there it had only been open a couple of weeks but was already proving to be a major hit with both islanders and visitors. Having been many years in the planning and construction it now provides a community based cultural centre for the island with loads of local history and genealogy information. Most importantly, of course, it has the only café/ restaurant on the island. Prior to this, going out for a coffee would have involved a ferry trip so it is not difficult to understand why it is popular.
Out of the way
There are two main population centres on the island, Cullipool and Toberonochy. Together they account for 90% of the population of about 200. There are no street names the houses are just numbered e.g. 17 Cullipool, and so on. As always in these ‘out of the way’ places the staff were extremely helpful and friendly. On our first visit we were served by a lovely girl on a two week holiday from Poland visiting relatives.
The village green, Toberonochy
Hardy beasts
We were impressed that she could come over to somewhere like Luing and end up with a job. Especially when everyone on the island seems to have at least three or four jobs. Okay, like most of the jobs in the restaurant, it was on a voluntary basis, but admirable nevertheless. Unfortunately, our scones were not so admirable .. seemed like they had been deep-frozen or something. Despite this, it is a great place. We have no doubt that it will develop into a fantastic resource for the island.
The island is probably best known for its now-defunct slate mining industry. However, it is also the place where Luing cattle were first developed by the Cadzow family in 1947. A cross between Beef Shorthorn and Highland cattle. These hardy beasts and are now found all over the world in areas where the climate, like Scotland’s, can be less than balmy.
EVEL
The climate in Parliament today may be less than balmy as MPs discuss EVEL (English Votes for English Laws). Earlier this week the Scotland Bill was agreed by 58 of Scotland’s 59 MPs but failed. It was voted down by English MPs .. almost enough to make you choke on your scone.
As Boris congratulates his government over its handling of the coronavirus crisis it is perhaps worth remembering that the two wealthy western countries with the worst problems of social inequality and deprivation – the US and the UK, have accounted for more than half the global COVID-19 deaths to date. Just saying!
Mask or not?
The debate around the wearing of face masks rages on. It’s a bit of nostalgia for us because it takes us back to the days when we used to rob banks. How else did you think we could afford all those scones? No more, of course, we’re not even allowed out of the house for goodness sake!
Stick ’em up!
We thought we might be able to recycle our old rather dashing black bank robbing masks but of course, they were more in the style of the Lone Ranger. They went around the eyes rather than the mouth. Useless! No worries though, we are indebted to our Côte d’Azur correspondents for sending us these beautiful homemade gender-sensitive masks. Bring it on, COVID-19!
ISLE OF LUING SHED
A boat shed in Cullipool looking towards the Fladda lighthouse in the far distance
This repost is a relatively recent one from just over a year ago. Even so, it harks back to a time when COVID-19 hadn’t been heard of and Brexit was still an issue. As you will see our hopes for one million marchers in London were to be dashed on the jagged rocks of stupidity. Even in the midst of this coronavirus pandemic, the UK is trying to decide what barriers to erect between ourselves and our biggest trading partners … you couldn’t make it up. It might be only a year but our visit to the Harris Hotel now seems from a bygone age.
We landed safely at Tarbert on the Isle of Harris after a relatively uneventful voyage. Many years ago I did a similar crossing from Lochmaddy to Uig and was incredibly seasick. Thankfully all the ships nowadays are fitted with stabilisers making for much smoother crossings. This was to be our first visit to this part of the Outer Hebrides so we were like excited children.
One of many beaches
Eagles
Our first day was spent driving around South Harris to places like Rodel and Leverburgh. If Pat was hoping that we had left hair raising roads behind on Raasay she was to be disappointed. Nearly all the roads here are single track and they wind up and down and round about in dizzying fashion. However, if like us you are in no rush it can make for very pleasant driving. You just pull in and let any traffic past. We hardly had any traffic, though in the warmer months it might be a different story. By way of compensation for Pat there were golden eagles everywhere. “It’s just a golden eagle” was often the response to my “what’s that?”
There are lots of galleries and craft places here and some were actually open. This one, the Mission House Studio at Finsbay was fabulous. It’s run by Beka (fine art photographer) and Nickolai Globe (ceramic artist). Their stuff was so good we actually parted with some cash! Yes, that good!!
Ruling classes
When we got back to Tarbert where we were staying, the Harris Hotel was just a couple of hundred yards down the road. Would they have scones? It’s a very pleasant place built in 1865 by the Earl of Dunmore. We thought it was interesting to look at past owners. Obviously there was the original Earl followed by Sir Edward Scott, followed by Lord Leverhulme, followed by Sir Tom Sopworth and then Lord Brockett. Do you notice a theme running through these names? All from the tax avoiding ruling classes. We are grateful to our Ballachulish correspondent who sent us pictures of some creative placards from the recent anti-Brexit march in London. One million people attended. They certainly sum up how we feel and emphasize the point that toffs really are terribly terribly unsuited to government … golly gosh, yes!
Today the headlines read “MPs seize control!” which makes us think “the lunatics have taken over the asylum!“. Every time we think it can’t get any worse, it does. Let’s hope those one million marchers have some effect.
Doubts creep in
Nowadays they are not at all fussy who they let into the hotel … our presence being proof of exactly that. Warmly welcomed, we were still recovering from the worst of the effects of the fresh air when a couple of warm scones were placed in front of us. Just sitting there looking out over the gardens was pleasant enough in itself and our lovely scones did nothing to detract from the cosy illusion that all was well with the world. Not topscones but we thoroughly enjoyed them nevertheless. Some time back, when we were on the Orkneys, after a run of topscones, we developed a theory that the further north you went the better the scones got. We are starting to have doubts because there’s been none so far on this trip.
Vandals
In one of the corridors, they have a display case containing an old window from the hotel’s dining room because in 1912, J M Barrie of Peter Pan fame scratched his initials in the glass. Must have been a fashionable thing to do at one time. He joins a list of illustrious artistes like Robert Burns who vandalised windows all over the place.
Honesty
We are letting you see this picture of Croft 36 because, for us, it seemed to sum up life on the Isle of Harris. It’s a café shack at the side of a little road on South Harris near Northton. Inside there’s a cauldron of scotch broth, hot pies and quiches, patisserie style baking including scones … and a price list. You just help yourself to whatever takes your fancy. There’s no one there, just an honesty box .. fantastic. In hindsight, we should have bought some scones but they only came in packets of four so we didn’t. Stupid, they might have been topscones!
ps: Telephone boxes in this part of the world seem to be located either in people’s gardens or other places difficult to get to. Perhaps it’s testament to the strength of the winds they get up here that this one at Finsbay had lost its door. It had been manufactured at the Saracen Foundry in Glasgow but wasn’t operational.
Boris has returned from his COVID sickbed to be greeted by the media like some all-conquering hero rather than the person largely culpable for hundreds if not thousands of coronavirus deaths. What’s all that about? Hopefully, at some point, he and his hapless buddies will be held to account.
NOTE: In case you are starting to feel the pressures of isolation the Psychiatric Association has stated that during quarantine it is considered normal to talk to your walls, plants and pots. You should only contact them if they reply.
HARRIS SHED
A corrugated iron shed at Aird Asaig not far from the Harris Hotel
The news that this coronavirus isolation business may last another year is extremely unwelcome. Although we have got into a routine whereby the whole thing has become quite pleasant and enjoyable we still want it to end. And the sooner the better! The weather, of course, has definitely helped. But another year? We miss our family/friends and this year, of course, we are missing the company of our wonderful guests from around the world. Worst of all, if it’s going to take that long, we are worried that we may not have enough scones to repost. Yeah, we hear you cry! Okay, okay but you don’t get off that easily. It’s an unbelievable five years since we were at the Boathouse on God’s Island, the Isle of Gigha.
The Boathouse is a great spot near to the ferry terminal at Ardminish Bay on Gigha. It has a wide range of food on offer and is open into the evening for dinner and drinks. Unfortunately, when we visited it seemed to be in a state of chaos with staff doing headless chicken impersonations. Although it was not busy we waited a long time before having to ask to be served .. not good! The situation only seemed to be resolved with the return of the manageress or owner, not sure which. It has won several awards and people we spoke to praised it quite highly. So hopefully, this was just a temporary blip. Gigha is not exactly bristling with fancy eateries so we sincerely hope so.
When they eventually arrived, our tea and scones were quite good and it was great to be sitting outside with the sun on our backs. They were nicely presented on a small breadboard with a wedge of butter but it was a pity the cream was not quite up to the ‘clotted’ standard.
Honourable?
Standards are not quite up to the mark in that disgrace of a place, the House of Lords. The honourable Lord in charge of standards has reportedly been found snorting cocaine off the breasts of prostitutes. All paid for by you and I. They set the bar that high so they can then decide what is good for the rest of us! The Boathouse, on the other hand, is a far superior House and, if time had allowed, we would have tried an evening meal because the menu looked very enticing .. next time!
One of the numerous beaches on Gigha looking towards Jura
Back in 2020, with Trump having taken to issuing medical advice we are dreading what we might find when our local pub opens up again. Thanks to our Trossachs correspondents for the warning. On a brighter note, we saw our first swallow the other day, just arrived from South Africa. Remember when we used to be able to do that?
GIGHA SHED
Disused pier at the north of the island where they park the Ardminish ferry overnight
The government’s Department of Weasel Words has gone into overdrive trying to justify their pathetic response to coronavirus and the BBC has taken to only reporting on NHS England. Should we be surprised? Well, back in 2018, we were at the Kerrera Tea Garden and as you will see we were still smarting from being cheated out of Scotland’s independence in 2014. The defeat was brought about by a coalition of Labour, Conservative and media lies. What really surprised us the most was that we were surprised. We knew they could stoop very low, just not that low. Anyway, let’s go back two years.
When it comes to Scottish Independence many people who voted NO in the 2014 referendum have been posting on social media “My Journey to YES”. Well, this is similar but, of course, it’s more “Our journey to a SCONE”! Let us explain. Some scones can be relatively difficult to come by but that is generally down to cost e.g. Claridges, the Connaught, rather than geographical location.
Gallanach Ferry only takes 12 people, no cars. If you are number 13 you have to wait for it to come back. We had to wait for it to come back three times
Getting there
Getting to the Kerrera Tea Garden, however, involves a road trip to Oban, a passenger ferry and then an hour’s walk over rough hill track. That’s just to get there … and the same back! There is nothing along the way other than sheep but luckily they have easy to follow signposts to guide the weary traveller. Although the day was quite cloudy it was hot so by the time we came on that last sign we were extremely relieved. Stomach and arthritic joints were screaming for sustenance and rest.
The Kerrera Tea Garden is exactly what it says. A fairly large garden in which there are lots of tables where you can sit and have tea. If the weather ever gets inclement, perish the thought, there is the Byre, a rustic but charming converted cowshed.
The Byre
Sacre Bleu
We were attended to by a very mannerly young chap who was obviously not a local. He was from Singapore and was studying law in London. Goodness knows how he found his way here for a summer job? The scones are made fresh every morning so after a light lunch we thought they should be sampled. We couldn’t come all this way and not sample the scones after all! Unfortunately, they were a tad disappointing. Just a little on the solid side and with a slightly sweet taste that wasn’t to our liking. They weren’t bad but not a topscone. Pity, because everything else about this place is fantastic. If you ever get the chance you should definitely visit, it’s worth the effort.
When we arrived there was a party of six French folks who were explaining that they just wanted coffee because they had their own sandwiches … mais non, sacre blue, mon Dieu! Perhaps it is just as well we are leaving the EU! They were politely told to take themselves off to yonder distant hill to have their picnic. When we were leaving they were making their way back for their coffee and didn’t seem at all putout. The Auld Alliance is intact!
The ruined Gylen Castle overlooking the Firth of Lorne
We finished off our visit with the short walk from the Tea Garden to Gylen Castle which sits on the southern tip of the island. It was built in 1582 by the Clan MacDougall but was besieged then burned by Covenanters in 1647. Ironically the siege was successful because of a shortage of water. The castle’s spring was insufficient in the prevailing dry spell so the MacDougalls surrendered. The same would have happened today where we have almost forgotten what rain looks like! When William Turner visited in 1831, he was fascinated by the ruin and made several sketches of the castle which are now in London’s Tate Gallery.
Looking east with twin peaks of Ben Cruachan in the middle distance
Sheep talk
On our return walk to the ferry we were almost deafened at one point by sheep talking to each other. Their exact words were “baa, baa, baa, baa, baa.” The noise was incredible! We came to the conclusion that they must have been discussing the effects of Brexit on the Common Agricultural Policy. They were making much more sense than our Westminster parliamentarians! After Trump’s visit to see May in London and Putin in Helsinki, I said to Pat “I think Trump’s a very clever man“, then, when I saw the look on her face, had to explain that I had misspoken and what I actually meant to say was that he was a complete and utter idiot.
Ex KGB, Vladamir Putin is beginning to look like the only sane politician around and that says something! Our “journey to a scone” was one of the most enjoyable in a long time. A big fat YES to the Kerrera Tea Garden.
PA34 4SX tel: 01631 566367 Kerrera Tea Garden
ps: This is the only telephone box on the Isle of Kerrera and as you can see it is a K6. No manufacturer’s badge so it could be either Falkirk, Kirkintilloch or Glasgow in origin. Now it functions, not as a telephone box, but as the only shop on the island … selling postcards.
Telephone cables
If you found that interesting here is another little snippet that will be of interest to all those who have spent restless nights wondering where the first subsea transatlantic telephone cable came ashore in the UK. Well wonder no more, it was here at Little Horsehoe Bay on Kerrera in 1956. It operated until 1978. The other end was in Clarenville, Newfoundland. You can now rest easy.
Little Horseshoe Bay with Oban in the distance. In 1263 Horseshoe Bay housed a fleet of one hundred and twenty longship galleys under the command of Norwegian King Haakon 1. More recently, it provided all the lobsters for Cunard’s transatlantic liners.
Wilting
We met loads of tourists, some walking, some on bikes, all were complaining about the heat! They said that the publicity for holidays in Scotland had not prepared them for weeks of hot dry weather. C’est la vie … haste ye back!
These days, the Kerrera Tea Garden and that ‘journey to a scone’ seem almost otherworldly.
KERRERA SHED
With everyone preoccupied with social distancing, we don’t particularly want to get into a deep philosophical debate about sheds. However, “When is a shed, not a shed?”. For example, is a wooden garage not just a shed with big doors or do the doors define it as something else? Is a shed with large windows a summerhouse and therefore no longer a shed? We don’t know the answer but you will be relieved to hear that I don’t photograph garages or summerhouses even if they are still sheds.
Okay, it’s a composting toilet .. but still a shed. Near the tearoom and Gylen Castle
I knew it was a mistake in our COVID-19 Newsflash post creating new categories willy-nilly however I did not expect my better half to join in. It raises yet another philosophical question “When is a scone not a scone?’. When it’s a cheese muffin, that’s when! These muffins were absolutely delicious but definitely not scones and shouldn’t really have a place on this blog however in the interests of domestic harmony here is the picture. To be fair, we managed to swap four cheese muffins for three of our neighbour’s tomato plants making one cheese muffin worth 0.75 tomato plants. Fantastic, a sign of the times perhaps?
All this isolation stuff has driven the world mad. We have even heard rumours of Texas folks baking scones … unbelievable! It’s just a rumour.
by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics
