Having brought you Norwegian boller and German pumpernickel we thought something Scottish was somewhat overdue. So here we bring you Scottish empire biscuits! In some places they are called German biscuits but their origin actually lies with the Austrian Empire.

These are a family favourite and always near the top of the list when visiting local cafés.  They are made of two shortbread biscuits glued together with jam, (like a jammy dodger)  covered with white water icing on and topped off with a glace cherry. Remember “topped off with a place cherry” for later. You can get a recipe here. 

Sensible human beings

We made them with the assistance of the same two small Vikings we utilised in the skillingsboller post. Of course Scottish empire biscuits should ideally be made by a Scottish person. Both these small Vikings are a wee bit silly but thankfully they are half Scottish so if you add both these halves together you end up with one sensible Scottish human being … yeah!

Thrift

We started by making the individual biscuits then sticking them together with some jam before the fun part … icing. My mother was champion baker in Falkirk over many years and her name was on the trophy so many times it became embarrassing.  She used to make great empire biscuits and when entering a competition she always used at least half a cherry on top. And she would win first prize! When baking for the family, however, she gained notoriety by ever putting one sixteenth of a cherry on top. Such duplicitous behaviour typified my upbringing … it’s amazing I ended up as the well rounded character you know today. Her extreme thriftiness meant that, sometimes, I was even forced to help her cut them up! 

Anyway, enough of my rather silly mother, our one sensible Scottish human being had particular ideas about decoration. No glace cherries of any size (we didn’t have any) but all sorts of unicorns, rainbows and jelly tots instead … just  little bit silly. Must be the Viking side creeping in! We could be super critical about the shape and finish of the end results but we don’t wish to hurt anyone’s feelings. They were absolutely delicious. At least as good as any we have had anywhere! A mini triumph for a sensible Scottish human being!

These biscuits became known to more global audience when they featured during a hearty meal in Pixar’s Scottish fantasy film Brave. And once Scotland, as one of the last colonial remnants of the British Empire gains its independence, they may become known simply as “Scottish biscuits” … yeah!

Celebrations

With only hours to go before Trump leaves the White House, it is cause for celebration. Not only that but it’s followed a few days later by an even bigger one … Burns night.

Since millions of haggises will be eaten by Burns’ officianados toasting the life and times of our national bard we feel, particularly for our overseas readers, that some reassurance is required. Although there are some people who actually do go out and hunt haggis it is essentially an unnecessary pastime. You can find tips on how to catch a haggis here. The truth of it is that haggises have the same sacrificial instincts as cliff jumping lemmings. However, haggises stampede down off the hills and jump directly onto plates all over Scotland. No cruelty is involved … honest!