Tag Archives: Brexit

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

London Wetlands – Revisited

1 Comment

From one nature reserve to another. Our previous post was from Vane Farm in Scotland and this one is London Wetlands – Revisited. We have reviewed its scones before but that was back in 2016, just a few weeks after the EU referendum. Back then we reported that London, like Scotland, voted overwhelmingly to remain and that feelings were running pretty high. A nation divided! This time we can report that nothing has changed in the two intervening years except that now we have only a few months to go before having to apply for a visa to visit France … arrgghh!. There is an air of disbelief that, even though the vote was won on the basis of momentous lies and Mr Brexit’s, (Arron Banks), colossal and suspicious funding  of the Leave campaign, we are still no nearer knowing what the consequences of leaving will be.

Brexit scones

Enough! … what about the scones, will they be affected by Brexit? We are here at the Wetlands because we had to deliver a certain mini-person back to her home which is just a short walk away from here. Nothing stands still here and we found many new additions to the already superb attractions on offer. It is still the only wildlife reserve we know of that has a three story bird-hide with a lift. Lego animals at London Wetland Centre

At Vane Farm we had to take part in a Halloween based competition but this time our task was to find all the animals in the reserve made from Lego. We had to find the animal then mark down the number of lego bricks it took to build it e.g. do you know how many lego bricks it takes to build a life sized flamingo? Thought not! We had added a four year old to go with our five year old mini-person so, with two mini-people, we had lots of valuable assistance. Interior view of London Wetlands Café

Extra health

Assistance also came in the form of a scone when we took a break for lunch from the beautiful but bitterly cold weather outside. The self-service cafe had also undergone a makeover with a brand new colour scheme and seating arrangement. It’s always busy, busy! A scone at London Wetlands CaféThey have a counter where kiddies can fill a small plastic bucket with anything they want, mostly healthy options, for £5. Good fun for them and simplicity for grown ups. Talking of healthy options, the scones were blueberry with a little pot of strawberry jam … lots of fruit in both. We passed on the Rhoddas Cornish clotted cream. The blueberries made the scones wonderfully moist so that they hardly needed jam. However, we used it anyway … just for extra health! Not quite topscone material but very enjoyable nevertheless.

Interior view of London Wetlands Café
even the birds come in to eat!

 

We covered almost the entire reserve and the flamingo was the only one we couldn’t find. Eventually after much to-ing and fro-ing we discovered it. It was in the middle of the shop that you have to go through on the way out. A bit sneeky! Interior view of London Wetlands CaféAnyway, for your information, it takes 3100 lego bricks and 80 hours to build a life sized flamingo. Remember, you only get this sort of essential information on allaboutthescones.com! No lollipops this time for completing the competition … boo! Just the chance to win a place on a lego animal building course.

Abominations

Suffice to say that the Conservative and Labour parties may well be better employed going on one of these Lego courses for all the good they are doing elsewhere. Goodness knows what sort of horrific monsters they would produce though! In answer to the other burning question, we think scones will benefit from Brexit. And we say that as staunch Remainers. Logic dictates that once we have stopped all foreigners coming into the country and selling their rubbish food (croissants and the like) in cafés across the land, we will only have quaint little chintzy tea-shops selling scones and other civilized British food. An added bonus will be the removal of the acute accent from the word café … and all other such abominations! Hurrah …  ‘Cry God for Harry, England, and Saint George!’

SW13 9WT      tel: 020 8409 4400        London Wetland Centre

Ordinary, Scones

The Scotsman Grand Café

1 Comment

We had popped in here, to what used to be the offices of the Scotsman newspaper, on a previous occasion. Impressed with the gracious surroundings and the helpfulness of the staff we vowed to visit again. The Grand Café is their restaurant area and they do a mini afternoon tea for mini people and it just so happened that today we had such a mini person accompanying us. So after phoning to book two cream teas and a mini afternoon tea we jumped on the train to Edinburgh full of excited anticipation. When we arrived they checked our booking and read it back to us … excellent! What could go wrong? Internal view of the Grand Café, Scotsman Hotel, Edinburgh

Where are the cream teas?

Then a waiter arrived at our table to find out what we wanted?? We repeated our order then he asked if we would like a gin drink or champagne with it. Unexpected but because we were in a happy mood we thought we would have the champagne. It arrived fairly promptly and then we waited .. and waited …… and waited. After watching people who came in well after us tucking into large lunches we had to ask what had happened to ours and were assured that it was being prepared. Eh, it’s a couple of scones and some jam!! Anyway, eventually they came with a mini afternoon tea and afternoon tea for two?? What happened to our cream teas?

Waiting area at the toilets at the Grand Café, Scotsman Hotel, Edinburgh
Waiting area at the toilets
Sounds of gun fire

The boss lady was summoned and she said that we had champagne so we had to have afternoon tea … arrgghh! We told her that we had given the same order umpteen times and that the waiter had then asked us if we wanted champagne. To which we gave the obvious if somewhat predictable answer. Obviously something had been lost in the eastern european translation. A scone at the Grand Café, Scotsman Hotel, EdinburghThe afternoon teas, which had taken so long to prepare, were whisked away and replaced, shortly thereafter, by our two cream teas accompanied with profuse apologies. We thought we heard the slightly muffled sound of a waiter being shot but luckily he soon reappeared.

More please

All this was extremely disappointing because we had had high hopes for this place and the prolonged wait would have seemed even longer had we not had a mini person to amuse us. There was a plain and a fruit scone with each cream tea and they were quite big which meant that there was only enough jam for one … we had to ask for more. To make matters even worse the scones were delicious … what a dilemma! If it hadn’t been for the veritable catalogue of mistakes they would easily have merited a topscone but sadly not on this occasion.

To top it all off, when the bill arrived, although they had kindly given us a substantial discount they still got it wrong, they had overcharged! Logo of the Grand Café, Scotsman Hotel, EdinburghIf this all this sounds like a complete disaster, it wasn’t … we did in fact have a very enjoyable afternoon but that was largely due to a five year old’s funny observations. The Grand Café is a beautiful place with its marbled halls and chandeliers. They certainly knew how to build newspaper offices back in 1905 when the Scotsman produced its first edition. Apparently we were sitting in what used to be the editorial section.

Left hand, right hand

As social media takes over from traditional print the newspaper industry everywhere is seeing plummeting circulation figures and the Scotsman is no exception. It is currently up for sale. The only newspaper with expanding circulation in Scotland is the National, the only one that supports independence. Anyway, we’re sure that we just had an unlucky experience at the Grand Café. The left hand simply didn’t seem to know what the right hand was doing. A bit like the Conservative party’s handling of Brexit.External view of the Grand Café, Scotsman Hotel, EdinburghEH1 1TR          tel: 0131 622 2999        Grand Café

ps our Middle East correspondent has sent in a report from Ireland. We know it’s not in the middle east but he gets around. This time he has unearthed an albino K6 in County Wicklow in Eire.

K6 telephone box outside Jonny Fox's piub in County Wicklow, Eire
Johnny Fox’s pub … K6 on far right

K6 telephone box outside Jonny Fox's piub in County Wicklow, Eire

Made in Kirkintilloch, the fact that it is outside Johnny Fox’s pub, world famous for its Hooley Night is entirely coincidental.

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

M&S Foodhall Café

3 Comments

There is something vaguely sinful about going to the cinema at 10.30 in the morning. Doubly so on a lovely sunny day like this. It just seems wrong. Worth it though because we saw A Star Is Born starring Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. When our 14 year old great-niece was over here on holiday we used to call her the ‘small weird Canadian’.  Her two greatest heros, at that time, were Mary Queen of Scots and Lady Gaga! We always understood the Mary bit but now we understand the Gaga bit as well. Gaga was absolutely superb in a role that almost seemed tailor-made for her. Maybe it was. The ending is sad but as everyone filed out in silence recovery was fairly rapid as we suddenly remembered it was still only lunchtime and we were a bit peckish. Internal view of M&S Foodhall Café, Falkirk

Not just any scones

Rather than go to the rather sterile café area in the multiplex cinema we went outside and ended up here in the M&S Foodhall Café. We needed to get some stuff anyway. We’ve reviewed M&S before, when they had their large clothing store on Falkirk high street, but that has gone now. This place is now the only presence they have in town.

It is ironic that a business built on clothing sales is now largely dependent on foodhalls like this. Just when we get wall to wall cookery programs on TV, the M&S range of ready-meals (just nuke it and stick on the plate) has become ultra successful. They are good mind you. Anyway while we were getting some sandwiches we noticed the scones … “not just any scones … M&S scones” as  the sultry-voiced woman on the M&S adverts would say.

Branding

 It is all self service and we are not quite sure where the problem lay but the staff were struggling a bit … slightly chaotic behind the counter and lots of uncleared tables. A scone at M&S Foodhall Café, FalkirkThere was no cream with our scones and initially there was no jam either but it turned up eventually. It was branded as ‘British’ like almost everything in M&S these days. Even the haggis and the whisky are emblazoned with the union jacks! It’s as if there is a panic in central government that Scottish independence is looming large yet again and nothing can be labeled ‘Scottish’ in case it further emboldens the natives. Frightened of losing their cash cow, it does of course have the opposite effect.

Doh!

Anyway our scones were fine but the whole experience was certainly not a topscone one. Irony abounds these days e.g. the UK says it hopes to do a trade deal with Singapore once it leaves the EU in a few months. This, as the EU signs a trade deal with Singapore this week … doh! After we leave the EU, how long will it be before someone notices that the biggest market in the world is right on our doorstep and we are not part of it … doh again!

FK1 1LW       tel: 01324 406101         M&S Foodhall

Ordinary, Scones

Bessie’s Café

2 Comments

This morning we went to the Hippodrome cinema in Bo’ness to see C’est la Vie starring Jean-Pierre Bacri. We do this regularly if we can get out of bed in time … life has sooo many pressures! A French film with subtitles, it’s a beautifully crafted and funny story of the backstage shenanigans at a posh chateau wedding. Worth seeing if you get the chance.  Afterwards, we ended up on the opposite side of the the river Forth, in Fife, at the picturesque little village of Culross (pronounced kooros) which, oddly enough, is the location for another movie currently under production.

Mrs Halfpint

It’s a zombie film called The Curse of the Buxom Strumpet starring Dame Judi Dench and Sir Ian McKellen. In the story Dame Judi plays Mrs Halfpint, the local landlady in the town of Upper Trollop, played of course, by none other than Culross itself.  A ssign for Bessie's Tearoom, CulrossIn 1713 a deadly disease consumes Upper Trollop turning the inhabitants into monsters. A few redoubtable folk, led by Mrs Halfpint try to escape by ship to France. The premiere won’t be until next year so if we divulge any more we would have to kill you all. Just go see when it comes out.

Suffice to say that Mrs Halfpint may well have been in the employ of the Bessie of Bessie’s Café, or Bessie’s Bar, as it used to be called. The café used to be her malt-house, used in making beer for her pub. And would you Adam ‘n Eve it (been going to London too much) Bessie’s surname was Paterson. You can see from the picture that she was a fine upstanding lass in the best tradition of Paterson women.

We have been here before on several occasions when it was run by the National Trust for Scotland and were never too impressed … normally when we are in the village we go to another café called The Biscuit. Internal view of Bessie's Tearoom, Culross

DIY Americano

Bessie’s is under new management however so we thought we should check it out. It had started raining so we were glad to be in out of the wet and delighted to be merrily greeted by the staff who soon had us supplied with a couple of fruit scones. A scone at Bessie's Tearoom, CulrossEarlier we had agreed to having them heated so they arrived wonderfully warm and with lots of jam and cream.

They also supplied my Americano as an expresso with a jug of hot water, a sort of DIY kit.  Not quite sure of the logic since I just had to pour all the water into the expresso myself. Heyho, different! Pat took one bite and announced a topscone right away. However, she subsequently discovered a small doughy bit in the middle which unfortunately ended up demoting her verdict. Mine was perfect, so think Pat must have got a rogue one … shame.  Bessie’s is joined onto the Palace and they do a good range of food so definitely worth a visit if you are in these parts.

External view of Culross Palace, Culross
Culross Palace
Troublesome people

Talk of rogues reminds us that it’s the Conservative Party Conference in Birmingham this week. Boris and Theresa are slugging it out for supremacy. “Fiddling while Rome burns” comes to mind. They should be thankful they are not holding their conference here in the Kingdom of Fife where, if you remember our review of the Clock Tower Café, they had their own ways of dealing with troublesome people.

Now, call us naive if you like but we always thought, not that we have thought about it that much, if you wanted to burn a witch your major expenditure would be a gallon of petrol. Not so. In 1636, just along the coast from here, William Coke and his wife were sentenced to death for witchcraft. Apparently, to help them burn more easily, the normal practice was to clothe them in hemp coats and place them in barrels that had been pre-tarred. For anyone who thinks that this process comes cheap, think again. The expenses were considerable and probably put everyday witch burning out of reach for most people.

  • 10 loads of coal – 3 pounds 6 shillings and 8 pennies,
  • tar barrel – 7 shillings,
  • hangman’s rope – 6 shillings,
  • hemp coats – 3 pounds and 10 shillings,
  • making the above – 8 shillings,
  • expenses for judge – 6 shillings,
  • executioner (for his pains) – 8 pounds and 14 shillings,
  • executioners expenses – 16 shillings and 4 pennies.

That’s almost £5,000 in today’s money however at that time, the Church and the Council split the costs … nice! Don’t think they would do that nowadays but we would still recommend that Theresa and Boris avoid Fife for the time being. Because there’s always Crowdfunder!External view of Bessie's Tearoom, Culross

KY12 8JQ         tel: 01383 247381            Bessie’s Café FB

Scones, Top

The Corner Café

2 Comments

You just can’t turn your back for a minute. We go down to London for a few days and come home to find a brand new café has popped up in the middle of town. Back in February we reviewed the Larder café which was a reincarnation of a previous one called Food Heaven. Both were pretty awful. Indeed this site seems to have been blighted by failed businesses over the years. Perhaps its because there is a big glossy Costa directly opposite. Maybe it’s the crowded market but mostly we feel it has been down to shoddy management. We said we would let you know how the Larder got on. Well it only lasted a few months after our review. That wasn’t the cause of its demise but probably didn’t help either.

Anyway, it’s now called the Corner Café and at long last it seems to have management that knows what it is doing. Young buck, Andrew, heads up a team that has gone right back to basics. Previously everything was bought in from a large cash and carry warehouse in Glasgow but now it’s all prepared fresh on site, scones included. Obviously, we had to visit. Internal view of the Corner Café, Falkirk

Hints of chocolate

The place has a clean fresh look and we were made to feel very welcome by the staff even though it was almost closing time when we got there. The menu is relatively small but big enough to have something to please everyone. We were particularly pleased to see that their coffee was from Henry’s Coffee Company. Not the Cat’s Pyjamas, but a blend made exclusively for the Corner by Henry’s.A scone at the Corner Café, Falkirk

They were sold out of fruit scones but the lady looking after us made a quick dash to the kitchen to see if there were any there, Sadly no, so one of the last remaining plain scones it was. It came with strawberry jam and cream in lovely little ceramic containers … nice touch. The scone itself was very good and their special coffee was deliciously smooth with subtle hints of chocolate, excellent. After some deliberation we felt that a topscone award was thoroughly deserved.

The Corner hasn’t even been open two weeks so we wish them the very best of luck for the future, hopefully they break the curse that seems to bedevil this site .. and we are not alone

Good luck cards at the Corner Café, Falkirk
Good luck cards from wellwishers
Tug-of-war

Everyone is fed up to back teeth of Brexit. If it inadvertently brought about a united Ireland and an independent Scotland it might have all been worth it … but otherwise?? The main news this week  is that Meghan Markle, Countess of a big chunk of England somewhere, closed her own car door. This was her first solo engagement and according to the media, with this one simple act she demonstrated how ordinary and down to earth the Royal Family really are. She has been showered with congratulations.

The other big congratulatory news was from South Africa. In the World Tug-of-War Championships in Cape Town, Ayrshire Ladies won gold in the 500kg competition. You are hearing it here because Pat and I used to be heavily involved in tug-of-war. And because you won’t hear it anywhere else. If you can do a good hop skip and jump you are lauded to the heavens by the media. You might even get a knighthood but in a serious sport like tug-of-war, not a dickie bird! Anyway, good luck to Andrew and his team, we are in your Corner … sorry!

FK1 1LZ.     tel: 01324 410949        The Corner Café FB

english, Ordinary, Scones

John Forrest Bakery

Video 5 Comments

When we write about places like Claridges, the Connaught and even the Bingham Hotel in Richmond, readers could be forgiven for thinking that we only frequent the well-to-do areas of London. Only mix with the upper crust! Well, you would not be far wrong. The thing is though, it just sort of works out that way … honest! We don’t seek these places out! After our sojourn the other day to the Tide Tables Cafe in wealthy Richmond, today we find ourselves in the Kings Road in Chelsea. Home of Sloane Rangers and Hooray Henrys, but not by choice … we are here on an important errand to fix an incapacitated handbag. It just so happens that the Handbag Clinic is here on the Kings Road. Yes, they do have clinics for handbags, however, the less you know about that the better.

Supercars

Famous for its Chelsea buns, the important thing was to check out a Chelsea scone and fill that gap in our collective sconological knowledge base. This part of London offers you the opportunity to pay ten times what you would pay anywhere else on just about anything. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration … but only slight. The streets are lined with super cars … McLarens, Ferraris, Maseratis. The sort of cars that, if we were to sell our house and our children, we would still not be able to afford. Sorry kids if you are reading this, it is just a turn of phrase, it does not mean that you are not worth much. It just means that if you were worth more we might get a supercar … okay!!

It’s ironic that these cars, capable of 200mph, would throw a major party if, by some miracle, they ever got to reach 30mph in London. For most of them, that’s a rather forlorn ambition. Some of them are painted matt black like stealth bombers. Initially we thought this might be to make them invisible to traffic wardens. However then we remembered that the owners of these cars would not be the slightest bit bothered with a hundred parking tickets. So, in a way, the paint finish doesn’t matter … except to look a bit pretentious, of course, and make it difficult for the butler to polish. Golly gosh, what a laugh that would be!

The holy hour

Okay, for those of you thinking that finding a scone in such surroundings should be a piece of cake … not so! It was after 2pm but everywhere we went we were refused. Scones only served between three and five … what? We knew the world had gone mad but this surely is the last straw!

However, there is something oddly right about this. Any other food item you could have any old time of the day but scones, as befits their status of course, only in this blessed two hour window. The conversation goes something like this: Me “may I have a scone please?” Waiter “Is it three o’clock, sir?” Me: “no, it’s half past two”. Waiter: “Yes sir you may have a scone but you will have to wait half an hour.” Play park where we ate the scone from the John Forrest Bakery, Kings Road, ChelseaAbsolutely no use to us though because we had yet another even more important errand than rescuing an ailing handbag to run. We simply could not hang around until the holy hour when scones would appear, presumably, as if by magic.

Now, readers should know by now that we are not ones for giving up. However, just as we were about to do just that, we stumbled on the John Forrest Bakery. It had scones that could be bought any time of the day or night, yeagh! It wasn’t ideal though … no seats inside and the few they had outside were all taken.

Not to worry, they provided us with two teas in polystyrene cups, a ham & cheese roll … and a scone in a white paper bag … all for £5.10. We take back our previous comment about everything being ludicrously expensive. We then slunk off up a nearby alleyway looking for somewhere to sit and eat. A scone from the John Forrest Bakery, Kings Road, ChelseaFortunately it led to an enclosed area surrounded by rather utilitarian looking apartment blocks. The hidden side of Chelsea where real people live. In the middle was a kiddie’s play park with a couple of wooden benches. And we had it all to ourselves. It was wonderfully quiet after the hustle and bustle going on only a few yards away.

Trials and tribulations

The scone, which the John Forrest folks had kindly buttered for us had loads of fruit but it wasn’t the best by a long chalk. At least it served to illustrate the trials and tribulations we endure in order to bring our sconey readers news from the UK’s nether regions. Actually, as we sat there on our park bench with our strong tea and very fruity scone, we did not feel trialed or tribulated at all. We did, in fact, feel rather blessed with the whole experience. Without it we would never have discovered this quiet little sanctuary.Play park where we ate the scone from the John Forrest Bakery, Kings Road, Chelsea

Sanctuary is what Theresa May needs as forces range against her from all sides. And she demands that the EU treats the UK with respect. She wants respect from the club we are leaving presumably because we think it’s crap! In the circumstances, we think the EU has been extremely respectful. Meanwhile, no one in government has a clue what is going on. The opposition is worse than useless. As a result the entire country is paralysed in a kind of collective nervous breakdown. What fun!

Picture this

If we had to choose a picture to depict Britain’s current sEdvard Munch's The Screamtate of mental health there would be only one contender, Edvard Munch’s, The Scream. Even inanimate objects are having issues because the Handbag Clinic was doing a roaring trade. However, what will Brexit mean for handbag clinics?

SW10 0LR      tel: 020 7352 5848        John Forrest Bakery FB

ps: we did see a couple of K2 telephone boxes but were unable to photograph them.

english, Ordinary, Scones

Tide Tables Cafe

3 Comments

Have you have ever wondered how many Richmonds there are in the world? No?? Well, there are 56, so if anyone asks, now you know! In 2009 Richmond was voted best town in the UK but that was the one in North Yorkshire. The one we are in today, however, would probably be voted the wealthiest.

A glance in an estate agent’s window will provide you with several opportunities to rent a house for £30,000 a month … a month!! And if you get fed up sitting in your expensive house you can catch a ferry from here to Ham House or Hampton Court Palace and look at places that even you can’t afford. The town is also in an excellent state of repair. The 21,000 good people of Richmond just read about things like potholes if they unwittingly pick up a provincial newspaper. Potholes are not something they would ever have to actually experience for themselves.

View along river Thames at Richmond
Looking along the riverside from Tide Tables

 

Historically the town used to be called Sheen. It was here that the Commissioners of Scotland had to kneel before Edward I after William Wallace was executed in 1305. So how did it end up becoming yet another, common as muck, Richmond? Well, in 1501, when Henry VII built his new residence here, he called it Richmond Palace after his ancestral home, Richmond Castle, in ‘town of the year’ Richmond in North Yorkshire. After all, if you have a lot of castles, you cannot be expected to sit around all day dreaming up new names for all of them. Sheen Palace would have had a certain ‘gloss’ to it though! Anyway, the town that grew up here around Richmond Palace ended up adopting its name. Outdoor seating area at Tide Tables Café, Richmond

Lycra land

Having said that, it isn’t hard to see what attracted folk here in the first place. Set on a meander in the Thames, its a lovely place to stroll around if you have absolutely nothing better to do. Of course, that’s where we come in …itinerant scone munching vagrants. The riverside is particularly nice, it is always busy with cyclists and walkers. Down here you cannot simply put bicycle clips round your trousers and head off blithely on your bike. No, no, no, you have to be fully rigged out, top to tail, in multicoloured lycra so that  you look exactly like a competitor in the Tour de France, even though you are only going to pick up a pint of milk. This rules applies no matter your body shape, giving rise to the acronym MAMILs … Middle Aged Man In Lycra.

You also need all the technology. A phone with a head set so that you can dictate notes for tomorrow’s meetings or chat to your auntie Jeanie while you pedal. The obligatory Fitbit is also required so that you can chart your progress to eternal life and body beautiful. The walkers aren’t much better! As befits a place where the people have oodles of choice, Tide Tables is a hip veggie and vegan café. Internal view of Tide Tables Café, RichmondIt occupies an arch under Richmond bridge next to a boat builder but it also has a lovely outdoor seating area under giant plane trees.  We were able to sit in the dappled sunlight and watch the riverside bustle while we ate our scones. If you can’t afford all that lycra you have no choice but to sit and watch?

Being alive

A scone at Tide Tables Café, RichmondOn a slightly different tack. You know how we are always bleating on about places that serve butter and cream from England when we are in Scotland, well down here the butter was from France … mon dieu! Mon dieu, as well for the cream, it was very strange, hard and crumbly. Probably because it had never been within a country mile of a cow. The scone itself was quite big and although it had a fair amount of fruit it just tasted okay. Nothing to write home about. So why are you wasting our time we hear you cry! Okay it wasn’t a topscone but the overall experience of sitting by the river in the sunshine watching everyone else putting so much effort into being alive was wonderfully relaxing. So we can, at least, recommend that. Riverside seating area at Tide Tables Café, Richmond

Back to front

Sitting here you could possible believe that all was well in the world. Then you remember Brexit! Just why Michel Barnier doesn’t say to Theresa May ” look, the UK  has always been a miserable grudging and small minded member of the EU … just close the door on the way out” is beyond us. Instead we have to listen to Theresa May saying that the EU must compromise if they want us to leave … eh, think you’ve got the wrong end of the stick, Theresa! External view of Tide Tables Café, Richmond

Extradition

And where is David Cameron who got us into this mess in the first place. Playing so fast and loose with the future of the country should be some sort of criminal offence. Presumably, therefore, he is somewhere like North Korea that doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the UK. More likely, however, that he is holed up somewhere in deepest Richmond.

TW9 1TH.      tel: 020 8948 8285       Tide Tables Café

Scones, Top

Mackintosh at the Willow

Apologies, some readers found the last post recounting the unfortunate fate of Janet Cornfoot somewhat harrowing. To make amends this post will hopefully provide something of an antidote. Less witches, something a bit more suitable for polite discourse over a scone. Interior view at Mackintosh at the Willow, Glasgow

Three years ago we were in the Willow Tearooms and thoroughly enjoyed it. However, that was in Glasgow’s Buchanan Street. There’s another one in Hope Street. However, today we are in the very original tearoom set up by Cate Cranston in 1903 in Sauchiehall Street. It takes its name from the street, ‘sauchie’ meaning willow. Design at Mackintosh at the Willow, GlasgowCate was a little eccentric and quite a character so it is perhaps not all together surprising that she hired the local up and coming architect, Charles Rennie Mackintosh to design everything. Right down to the cutlery and the serving staff’s uniforms.

Mackintosh, of course, went on to become internationally famous for his individual work and as one of the founders of the Glasgow Style. It’s ironic and very sad that from here you can actually see the remains of one of his masterpieces, the Glasgow School of Art. It went up in flames just a few weeks ago.

Genteel

From the moment you enter Mackintosh at the Willow however there is no mistaking who designed it. It’s a kind of immersive experience andWillow pattern at Mackintosh at the Willow, Glasgow one that makes you proud to be Scottish and lucky to have Glasgow as the country’s biggest city. Following its £10m refurb however it is more of a tearoom complex. 200 covers, split across four tea rooms and featuring a Visitor Centre and a dedicated Learning & Education suite for schools …. wow! Once again we were late in the day but warmly welcomed nevertheless. ‘Genteel’ is definitely order of the day and we can do genteel. Okay it requires a bit of effort but we can do it!

Every table is equipped with a hand bell with which to summon a maiden. That’s what the waitresses in the original tearoom were known as. To us, using it would have felt ostentatious and embarrassing, but some people were dinging away merrily. Probably foreigners, you know what they are like! They have an excellent menu for lunch but, predictably perhaps, we just wanted a scone … boring! Our ‘maiden’ was delightful and soon had us sorted. A scone at Mackintosh at the Willow tearoom, Sauchiehall Street, GlasgowThe scone was much bigger than we had expected but everything was presented on white tablecloths and beautiful willow pattern crockery.

As you know, we like local produce and would have thought that such a place as this would have had its own ‘Mackintosh at the Willow’ brand jam. However, Mrs Bridges of Arbroath, is not too too unlocal, if you see what we mean. In spite of its size the scone was delicious. When combined with jam and clotted cream made for an overall first class experience.

Later, we found out that this place was not actually officially open for business. It had been operating for the past few weeks in an attempt to iron out any wrinkles and train the staff who all come via the Princes Trust. They seem to have done a pretty thorough job because we did not experience any problems. Didn’t even have to use the bell once! Interior view at Mackintosh at the Willow, Glasgow

Madness

If you are reading this today, 8th September 2018, the official opening by the Duke of Rothesay and the Duchess of Cornwall is actually happening as you read. We wish the whole bold and inspiring venture the very best of luck for the future … Cate and Charles would have been proud that the Willow Tea Rooms Trust has resurrected this institution so magnificently for the benefit of generations to come … well done them! The madness of Brexit and  Trump seems far far away when you are in Mackintosh at the Willow … mission accomplished!

Interior view at Mackintosh at the Willow, Glasgow
upstairs

G2 3EX        tel: 0141 204 1903       Macintosh at the Willow

Ordinary, Scones

The Aizle Coffee Shop

Today, we are in Ballat. Ballat is a village in northern Syria not far from Homs. It has has a population of about 574 mainly Greek Orthodox Christians. That’s according to Google. Thankfully we are nowhere near there today because a) it’s dangerous b) it’s unlikely to have scones. Instead we are at Ballat crossroads about fifteen miles north of Glasgow because a) it’s dangerous b) it’s likely to have scones.

Let us explain! The A811 road forms part of our normal route over to Loch Lomond and at Ballat it crosses the main Aberfoyle to Glasgow road … not like a normal crossroads in the shape of a straight forward cross, but rather a cross that has been mangled and flattened … you have to cross at a very weird angle and it can all get a little bit hairy.

Probably fine when only used by carthorses but now with juggernauts thundering through at a rate of knots it is an altogether different proposition … the scene of regular accidents.

Internal view of the Aizle Coffee Shop, DrymenThe narrow sliver of land between the two roads is occupied by a complex of shops called the Aizle, one of which is the Aizle Coffee Shop. Goodness knows why anyone would call it that but apparently it is an old Scots word meaning ‘hot ember’ or ‘spark’ … it rhymes with hazel … whatever! Normally we are so thankful at just making it safely to the other side of the junction that we have never bothered stopping here. The only reason we are stopping today is that our tummies are rumbling and we still have a fair bit to go.

Problem, we had not realised the time. We were arriving just as they were closing for the evening. Nevertheless, although we were the only ones around, we were very warmly welcomed. A scone at the Aizle Coffee Shop, DrymenThey didn’t have any proper food left, just the odd cake … and the odd scone. Initially we thought this fortuitous however our scone turned out to be pretty awful … dry and hard … perhaps because it had been lying out all day? Serves us right for arriving so late. Our visit was brief but we felt sustained enough to carry on our way so it did its job. No topscone here however, nowhere near.

One nice thing about this place was that it provided some light reading material at each table. Rather than our usual political rant we will just let you read our table:
The precaution one needs to take when buying standard pills is that the pharmacy one is cheap online levitra dealing with should be authorized. For those adversely affected by tadalafil male sexually enhancement levitra india price http://deeprootsmag.org/2013/11/13/claire-in-autumn/ pill, they should avoid it altogether. How to control premature ejaculation? Premature ejaculation is climaxing levitra generic cialis thought about this remarkably quickly either before or shortly after sexual penetration. PE accounted one of the most general aspects of sildenafil canada pharmacy deeprootsmag.org male sexual dysfunction & has almost exaggerated every man at particular stage of life.

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the M25 near London. Nothing was moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window.

The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?”

“Terrorists have kidnapped all members of Parliament, and they’re asking for a £100 million ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them in petrol and set them on fire. We are going from car to car collecting donations.”

“how much is everyone giving on average?” the driver asks. The man replies, “Roughly a litre.“

Okay, not in good taste but then again it did match the scone! We actually felt a modicum of sympathy for politicians when we read that piece. Some of them must have a modicum of sense after all. But then we saw the pictures of Theresa May dancing with some black kids in South Africa and all sympathy evaporated. For years, she, along with David Cameron branded Nelson Mandela a terrorist. Now, in the face an impending hard Brexit caused by her own party’s stupidity, she is in Mandela’s country desperately kowtowing for business. Another litre?

G63 0SE        tel: 01360 440456           The Aizle FB

Scones, Top

Cromlix House Hotel

Cromlix used to be one of our favourite haunts. Many happy evenings have been spent with family and friends in the Red Dining Room, the Conservatory and the upstairs Library. Sadly, after it was taken over by tennis superstar Andy Murray in 2013, they have all disappeared. It’s in the name of progress and by command of Chez Roux. It’s not Andy’s fault. He has Inverlochy Castle Management International managing the place while he is away doing something else. Although famous for his service  you won’t find Andy bringing you a scone or anything else for that matter. Although you never know, considering the way his game has been going recently!

The tennis courts at Cromlix House Hotel, Dunblane
Tennis courts at Cromlix
Lowly cottage

Cromlix itself was built in 1874 as “Cromlix Cottage“. Surely only someone with too much money and too much property would build this as a “cottage”. You can get some idea of what life was like simply by looking at the servants call boxes in the hall.Servants bells at Cromlix House Hotel, DunblaneThey weren’t exactly roughing it in their lowly “cottage”. We used to have a similar but much smaller call box in our own Victorian house. We did away with it, however, because it wasn’t working. Mainly due to the distinct lack of servants.

Anyway, since Andy took over, Pat and I have fallen out of love with Cromlix. You didn’t actually speak to Cromlix when you phoned but to some centralised answering service. We used to get some weird replies like ” we are fully booked for afternoon tea for the next seven months??” We tell you this simply so that we can let you know that these problems are in the past. They seem to have sorted themselves out. Very welcoming with all the staff apparently local and speaking English. We were ushered into an area with which we were very familiar, the old reception hall. Internal view of Cromlix House Hotel, Dunblane

Would Cromlix rehabilitate itself in our affections … it all depended on the scones …. ooooh! The young lady who took our order for a cream tea was very pleasant and while she was away getting things organised we took the opportunity to have a look round. The bar at Cromlix House Hotel, DunblaneThe bar area is very chic though we preferred the old more homely look of it predecessor.

Picture of a shoot at Cromlix House Hotel, Dunblane
The unlucky object of this day’s “sport” may have ended up in this glass case

Cromlix’s hunting and shooting pedigree was also much in evidence.

Rehabilitation

Anyway, it wasn’t long before we were provided with our scones all beautifully presented as befits such a place. Had the scones been freshly shot? We ended up with a difference of opinion. A scone at Cromlix House Hotel, DunblanePat was a tad disappointed saying her scone was ever so slightly doughy whereas I thought mine was just right. However, considering the service, the presentation and the surroundings we eventually decided that a topscone was well deserved. Well done Cromlix. We still hanker for the old place but consider yourself rehabilitated!

Weather and scepticism

Meanwhile back in the real world outside the these pampered confines, the news consists entirely of the weather. People dying, planes cancelled, trains late, moors on fire, places flooded, water shortages. All due to this period of fine weather. We are almost tempted to think that it has all been organised by the Conservatives to divert our attention away from the ongoing fiasco that is Brexit. But that would require a degree of scepticism!! In the interests of balance we cannot just blame the Tories. Labour (the red Tories) are just as bad. How we long for the days when there was an opposition worthy of the name. Now, all our beloved politicians are off on holiday for the parliamentary recess. To enjoy the weather!External view of Cromlix House Hotel, DunblaneFK15 9JT      tel: 01786 822125        Cromlix House Hotel