Tag Archives: Brexit

The Park Hotel

13 December 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Oh dear, it’s Friday the 13th. And it’s the day after the night before! Everyone has awoken to a new reality.

The lemmings of England have voted on the promise of “Get Brexit Done”, as if it is all going to be done and dusted in a few months. Yet another Boris lie … it will take years. Nevertheless, as we speak, they are all rushing headlong towards the white cliffs of Dover wheeeeeeh! Without even a hint of shame, Jeremy Corbyn has said that he will not lead the party into the next election, completely overlooking the fact that he totally failed to lead them into this one. It’s not so much that the Torys won the election but that Labour threw it away.

Tug of War

In Scotland, the Labour party has joined Hebridean sheep in the ‘rare breeds’ category. Unbelievable when you think of the party’s historical strength in this part of the UK. The election, however, has amply demonstrated that the UK is indeed made up of two different countries each pulling in opposite directions. Will the SNP’s resounding success make any difference? We doubt it. Other than self interest, Boris & Co have little or no interest in Scotland. Perhaps the best news is that the duplicitous DUP have been diminished, leaving N.Ireland with a majority of nationalist MPs. The future of the UK has never seemed as uncertain as it is today.

Taking in all this reality is tough … too much reality! A delicious scone might help draw a veil over some of the election’s more unsavoury aspects. Our attention had been drawn to a cafe, not far from home, that we were totally unaware of. When we got there, however, it was closed! Some special event apparently … boo!

No normal scones

So, downhearted and heading for home, we passed this place, the Park Hotel. We thought it might be worth a try. One of our Canadian nieces used to work here many years ago so it has a special wee place in our hearts. It’s a bit weird really because it is probably the nearest eatery to our house yet we haven’t been in it for years. You can see from the title picture that it is hardly a thing of beauty … a box for people to sleep in. Nice enough inside though. It’s part of the Hannigan Hotel Group that owns four hotels, three of them in Falkirk. What had started as a dismal kind of day turned out to be the complete opposite. When we asked if we could have tea and scones they said “Yes, of course, we don’t normally do scones“. Eh?

The service was super friendly and super fast. Barely three minutes had elapsed between placing our order for two cream teas and we had them in front of us. The scones came with a selection of jams, a huge bowl of cream and a large pot of tea. What more could you want on Friday 13th?

Surprise

Now, we would have really liked to have awarded a topscone. Lots of things were right – the service, the cream, the jams, the tea were all good. On top of that, when we went to pay, the grand total was £5.50. When we queried the bill they said that because they “don’t normally do scones” they only charged us £1 for the two cream teas … incredible! Unfortunately, the scones, although very good with plenty of fruit, were just slightly doughy and not quite up to our topscone standards … shame!

We never did figure out why they “don’t normally do scones” so we don’t expect to be so lucky next time. The Hannigan Hotels’ strap line is “investing in Falkirk” so more power to their elbow.

The marble Peking lions at Dollar Park — 10ft tall marble lions. The ball rolls around freely in the mouth

Wonderment

Across the road from the Park Hotel lies the entrance to Dollar Park. It is guarded by two large marble lions from Peking gifted by local boy, Robert Dollar, in 1922. As youngsters we use to be fascinated by how those cunning Chinese had managed to carve these lions with perfect spheroid marble balls in their mouths. We are still fascinated! Another source of childhood wonderment was the kaleidoscope. Invented by Jedburgh man, David Brewster, in 1871. Kalaeidoscopes are also still fascinating. They really were very clever back in those days. Lets hope that Bojo and his mates are half as clever.

FK1 5RY tel: 01324 628331 Park Lodge Hotel

///eruptions.shunning.undivided

ps: As if leaving the EU wasn’t bad enough, we received notification from our Kiwi correspondents that they had found a plum pie that they felt was better than any of our scones. The nerve! Apples and pears! However we just happen to know that The Office café in Maungatapere also does excellent scones. If any readers happen to find themselves in Maungatapere, pop into the Office and try both. Let us know which is best … scone or the pie?

foreign, Ordinary, Scones

The Scotch Tea House

25 October 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

As you know from our previous post, Café 66, we have been following the swallows in their southerly migration. Unlike us, however, they probably managed to avoid French rail strikes. As they continued blithely onwards to South Africa we had to contend with the vagaries of continental travel.

A sign in the toilet at the Scotch Tea House in Nice, France — No jeter in the toilet

As the officials kept telling us, the strike was a ‘surprise’, only announced overnight so there was nothing much they could do The answer to most of our questions was a gallic style shrug of the shoulders. There were a few trains running but no one seemed to know which ones. The French seem to accept such things fairly philosophically. And, in any case, they are fortunate to have Macron to blame for everything.

To cut a long story short we eventually arrived at my sister’s place about five hours late. The swallows were probably in South Africa by then. Never mind, we received a welcome like no other so all our inconveniences were immediately forgotten.

The carpet in the Scotch Tea House in Nice, France — The Tea House carpet

To make matters worse it was raining. It was raining a lot … a monsoon. It was warmer rain than we get in Scotland, however. Six years since we were last in Nice so there was much catching up to do and new things to see. My sister was keen that we see the new tram system which was still under construction on our previous visit. Also the new Coulée Verte, a beautiful green corridor that runs through the centre of the town. It’s a place for people to walk and take their ease.

Of course, France like the rest of the EU, is pretty much a scone free zone. A bit of a desert to sconeys like us. There are may culinary things France is famous for but scones isn’t one of them. However as we wandered through the Coulée Verte what should we spy in the distance … the Scotch Tea House! Was it possible that a scone, a beacon of genteel civility, might exist in such a place?

We entered into a cool dark wood paneled interior that must have given many delicate Victorian ladies refuge from the midday sun. It didn’t look as if it had changed much in the intervening years. And, sacre bleu, they had scones! This was indeed unexpected. We had thought that we would be scone free until our return to the UK. Once we had chosen our tea from the tea menu it wasn’t long before our scones arrived … toasted? No one had asked if we wanted them toasted, that’s just the way they came.

A scone at the Scotch Tea House in Nice, France — Presumably all scones come ready toasted in France

In spite of there being lashings of cream in some of the cakes on display, there was none for scones, c’est la vie. There was a selection of jam and a little pack of French butter … just like you get in the UK!? The scones were different, not unpleasant – just different. They had a fairly dry even texture which may have been partly due to the toasting. We enjoyed them but thought they fell well short of a topscone. Good enough for a top ‘French scone’. though. Bravo, the Scotch Tea House, good attempt!

The menu in the Scotch Tea House in Nice, France — Specialités Anglaises’, a tad odd for a Scotch Tea House

One of the benefits of being here is that we are almost devoid of Brexit news. Suffice to say, the French are just as perplexed as the UK on the whole sorry fiasco. We may have to all learn the gallic shrug of the shoulders accompanied with a “Quels imbéciles!”

06000 Nice tel: +33 4 93 87 75 62 Scotch Tea House TA

///eternity.trout.shrimp

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Kelpies Café

16 October 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

Today we find ourselves at the Kelpies Café. We are ashamed! People come from all over the world to see the Kelpies in Falkirk but, up until now, we have never been. Not strictly true because we have been here dropping people off and such like but this is the first time we have actually set out to visit. They were opened six years ago so it’s not as if we haven’t had time. You know how it is, however, when it’s on your doorstep you can always go tomorrow and sometimes tomorrow just never comes! So, after an uneventful five minute drive, on a glorious autumn day, we were here at last.

What actually is a kelpie we hear you ask? Well, it’s a Scottish shape shifting aquatic spirit that frequents lochs and rivers. Usually in the form of a beautiful horse. They are not really comparable to Nessie, except in that, like Nessie, they appear infrequently. Unbelievably, some people have gone through their entire lives without ever seeing either.

Handsome?

Almost exactly three years ago when we reported on the Venachar Lochside Café we recounted an incident where a kelpie from that particular loch would sometimes appear as a handsome young man and lure young women and children into the water. It would then drag them under and devour them. There’s a theory that Boris Johnson may actually be a kelpie trying to lure about sixty million people towards a similar frightful fate. The ‘handsome’ bit, however, throws serious doubt on this theory’s veracity.

Our Kelpies today, however, bear none of that malevolence. They merely celebrate the part the heavy horse has played in shaping the Falkirk area in years gone by – pulling coal barges, ploughs and wagons. They are situated at the east end of the Forth & Clyde canal where it joins the river Forth. You can only see their magnificent heads, the rest is under the water … obviously. They are spectacular and we can quite understand why people travel from far and near to see them.

However, after wandering around looking at all the boats and admiring the sculptures a scone soon beckoned. There are three cafés here. Our café of choice turned out to be the one imaginatively called ‘Café’. It’s part of the visitor centre and is fairly typical of such places. Self service but quite a wide range of food options available. We both plumped for a fruit scone. Our relatively low expectations, however, were completely confounded when they turned out to be rather nice.

A scone at the Kelpies in Falkirk — Spot the fruit

We might have awarded a topscone were it not for the fact that there was no cream (not even Roddas) and hardly any fruit. They might have been better billed as plain scones. Of course, then we would have complained that our plain scones had a bit of fruit in them. There’s just no pleasing some folk! Everything else was fine, however, so overall we enjoyed our visit and our scone. We may even come back!

In brief

The UK shape shifting government looks as if it is going to try and cobble together another deal with the EU. Who knows what’s going to happen? With a completely shapeless opposition, however, they might actually even get it passed, even if it’s worse than Theresa May’s deal! Some people have complained that the explanation of Brexit in our Muircot Farm post was far too long. Hopefully this one, stolen from the internet, is more concise and clearly encapsulates Britain’s negotiating strategy.

FK2 7ZT tel: 01324 590600 The Kelpies Café

///branded.highs.rungs

Scones, Top

Muircot Farm Shop

9 October 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Now that the summer is pretty well over we have reverted to our old routine of going to the early morning show at our local Hippodrome cinema. Today we saw The Farewell, a true story about lies … no, nothing to do with Boris! We thoroughly enjoyed it. It was our kind of film … no loud sounds, no nudity, no violence and no CGI. Are we getting old?

Afterwards we decide to act on a tip off we had received from our ever diligent Trossachs correspondents. They flagged up Muircot Farm Shop as a place they thought we would enjoy. It’s just outside the Clackmannanshire village of Coalsnaughton so not too far to drive after our movie.

Good advice

Those Trossachs folk know us too well. We were super impressed by everything. In some ways it is just like a multitude of other farm shops … a big shed! However this one seemed to have a slightly different vibe. Not sure if it was the warm and friendly staff, the spacious layout or the fabulous view of the Ochil hills, but it just felt good.

As we ordered some lunch and were trying to make up our minds whether to have a scone each or to share one, our waitress said “you will get a lot of bread with your soup“. Sound advice as it turned out. Almost half a loaf of wonderfully soft whole meal bread made us very glad we decided to share a scone.

Topscone was an easy decision right from the start. Just the right size, wonderful texture with plenty of fruit and lots of jam and cream to go with it. Judging by the healthy portion sizes, you got the feeling that this place is run by a farmer’s wife. No one is going to leave hungry. Inevitably, in farm shops, you are tempted to buy a lot of stuff from the shop. That’s the whole idea after all! This was no exception. We came away with a great selection of goodies to take home.

The final solution

Recently we have met many people confused about what is happening with Brexit. When we say that we know what is happening they are surprised and relieved when it is explained. For the bewildered of the world, here is our explanation:

31st Oct – we leave the EU (do or die)
1st Nov – Scotland gets independence
2nd Nov – Scotland rejoins the EU
3rd Nov – Scotland writes to the wise one, Donald Trump, asking advice on how to build a wall and get England to pay for it.

You will, of course, understand that this timetable is not set in stone. There may be some movement on specific dates. Never mind though, Brexit sanctuary can always be sought at Muircot Farm Shop. Excellent tip off

View of Ochil hills from Muircot Farm Shop, Tillicoultry — View towards Tillycoultry and the Ochil hills

FK13 6LS tel: 01259 750886 Muircot Coffee Shop

///rotate.cashiers.enhances

ps Thanks must go to our newest correspondents from Devon. They sent us this picture of a Falkirk made K6 … not in Devon, but in Gramasdal on the Isle of Benbecula. They were out for a walk!

Ordinary, Scones

Graze Coffee House

4 October 2019 billpaterson1@me.com

For this scone at Graze Coffee House we have left the Covenanters Hotel in Falkland far behind and crossed the river Forth to Dunbar. As it happens though we are still maintaining our link to Covenanters and Covenanting. Dunbar Castle was a major fortress in medieval times and became the centre for that well known war criminal, Oliver Cromwell, to provision his invading English army.

View of Dunbar Castle and Victoria harbour — Ruins of Dunbar Castle above the harbour entrance

Martyrs

Fishing boats in the harbour at Dunbar — Fishing boats in Dunbar harbour

The Battle of Dunbar in 1650 is still controversial, even today. The Scots covenanting army was defeated and about 4000 soldiers were taken prisoner. They were marched south to be imprisoned in Durham Cathedral so they could take no further part in the conflict. They were treated so badly, however, that only about half survived the journey. Some died of exhaustion and others were simply shot. Many survivors were sold into slavery but many others died in the Cathedral. In 2013 scientists unearthed a mass grave near the Cathedral containing their remains. It is thought that other such mass graves exist nearby. There is now a campaign to repatriate the remains of these “Dunbar Martyrs” back home to Scotland.

View towards the Bass Rock from Dunbar — Looking over the river Forth towards Fife with the Bass Rock left of center

John and Greta

The reason we are here, however, has nothing to do with Covenanters. We thought that, since we had visited one end of the John Muir Way at Helensburgh, we should have a look at the other end in Dunbar. John Muir was born here in 1838 and went on to become the leading conservationist of his time. It was said of him that he was “saving the American soul from total surrender to materialism“. If he was alive today, he would doubtless be amazed that it has been left to youngsters like Greta Thunberg to carry the torch.

Sign for dangerous cliffs on the John Muir Way at Dunbar — a sign, thoughtfully placed by the EU

We elected to walk the last mile or so of the trail along the coast to Dunbar itself. Along the way we found many warning signs of the fast approaching Brexit date at the end of this month. The path meanders along the clifftops and eventually ends up at Dunbar Castle.

Artillery gun at Dunbar — Pat getting ready to repel Johnny Foreigner after Brexit

View of Dunbar Castle at the end of the John Muir Trail — the end of the trail with Dunbar Castle in the distance and a large picture of John Muir himself …. it’s either him or Billy Connolly

Needless to say, after such exertions on a bright but blustery day, a scone was called for. We were reliably informed by two women hanging around on a street corner that the best scone in town was at the Graze Coffee and Chocolate House in the High Street. They seemed to know what they were talking about and it was only a few yards from where we were. In no time at all, we were settled in and ready.

Date and walnut

The staff were were extremely friendly and welcoming and soon had Pat sorted with a cheese scone and me with a date and walnut one. Date and walnut? Is this a step too far? No worries. Pat thought her scone was good but not quite deserving of the topscone accolade. My scone was very good as well. the walnuts gave it a delightful crunchiness. Although I had passed on the cream (Rhoddas) the overall combination with jam and butter was very good. Not quite a topscone from me either but a great wee café and thoroughly recommended.

Hard to believe

We feel slightly nauseous as Boris Johnson soaks up the adoration of his supplicants at the Tory Party Conference and tries to pretend that his seven page cobbled together ‘deal’ is worthy of consideration by the EU. We are increasingly dismayed. Hard to believe, in such desperate times, that we have someone as weak as Jeremy Corbyn leading the opposition. Heyho, fingers crossed, he can pull a rabbit out of a hat before the 31st.

EH42 1EW tel: 01368 864619 Graze Dunbar

///recovery.reserving.chip

ps with only about three Brexit weeks to go before we leave the EU no one can express our feelings better than A A Gill. He wrote this article shortly before his death in 2016. We’ve included it as a ps so you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to, but it’s worth it … and there’s a K6 at the end to keep you going … enjoy!

Three weeks to go

“It was the woman on Question Time that really did it for me.
She was so familiar. There is someone like her in every queue, every coffee shop, outside every school in every parish council in the country. Middle-aged, middle-class, middle-brow, over-made-up, with her National Health face and weatherproof English expression of hurt righteousness, she’s Britannia’s mother-in-law. The camera closed in on her and she shouted: “All I want is my country back. Give me my country back.”
It was a heartfelt cry of real distress and the rest of the audience erupted in sympathetic applause, but I thought: “Back from what? Back from where?”

pps We found two Falkirk made K6s in Dunbar. This one is in the High Street. The campaign to get Falkirk Council to preserve some K6s is ongoing with Falkirk Made Friends on Facebook

Ordinary, Scones

The Canny Soul

25 September 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

All hail Lady Hale. She has shown our Prime Minister to be an absolute bounder. Some think her large spider brooch, was worn to illustrate what a tangled web we weave, however, she has unwittingly launched a whole new fashion movement. Who’d have thought they would have sold 5000 t-shirts sporting her brooch design within hours of it appearing?

Quite a month

Anyway, September has been quite a month for the UK. The Queen has been found to have meddled in the Scottish independence referendum of 2014. Much has been made in the press of the Palace’s disquiet at this being made public by David Cameron. Not a mention, however, of the disquiet of the people of Scotland who have known the Queen was set up for the past five years.

Dysfunctional

Now she’s embroiled in BoJo’s deceit over the prorogation of Parliament. Bad enough having a dysfunctional family to deal with, now she has a load of dysfunctional politicians as well. Who would be a Royal?

The lesson we have taken from the Supreme Court’s ruling is that doing things unlawfully is okay. Pat and I have decided to start mugging people in an effort to enhance our meagre pensions. Yes, we know it’s unlawful but what the hell? If it’s good enough for Boris, surely it’s good enough for us too. St Andrews seemed like a good place to start. Lots of wealthy folk and stacks of American tourists. Of course St Andrews is a university town (2nd best after Cambridge) so it’s brimming with students. We knew that there would be slim pickings mugging them … too poor and too fit. It would be the easiest thing in the world for them to run away from us.

No, we really needed to find people with walking sticks, or zimmers, preferably. Spotting likely victims is harder than you might think, however. After a while we were tired and found ourselves standing outside the Canny Soul café. We ended up not mugging anyone or, indeed, doing anything unlawful and going for a scone instead. Is that a huge collective sigh of relief we can hear? However, had we been caught mugging someone we would simply have explained that we disagreed it was unlawful. It works for Boris!

Definition of a Canny Soul

It turns out there is more to this place than meets the eye because, on the face of it, it’s not much to look at. Apparently a “canny soul” is someone who is: “neither above you or below you but is always by your side”. It’s a kind of lifestyle choice.

Picture of Marilyn Munro at the Canny Soul café in St Andrews — Marilyn Munro

One that was borne out by the place itself. All the staff were very happy and obliging. We’re not sure if this picture, which was prominent in the café, is of a “canny soul” but if Boris can learn to simper like this then he will probably get away with even more than he’s getting away with at the moment.

Sucking up

Everything we had was fine, however, our scones did not quite cut it. They seemed a wee bit tasteless. No topscone but the friendly atmosphere in the Canny Soul more than made up for it. They were indeed, canny souls. During some banter when we were leaving I complimented the middle aged owner on his youthful energy. He looked at me and said “ you have aged like a bottle of fine wine, I have aged like a bottle of milk!” Ten out of ten for observation … and sucking up to customers! Perhaps Boris should do a bit more sucking up rather than simply blustering blindly towards a no deal Brexit. He might even consider becoming a canny soul … or have we taken that too far?

The government has had to spend £billions repatriating holiday makers after Thomas Cook’s collapse and now Trump is being impeached. The world has gone mad … or madder! We still had a very enjoyable time in St Andrews however.

KY16 9QW tel: 07712 423386 The Canny Soul TA

///liberated.rejoined.slept

Ordinary, Scones

Buttercup Café – Doune

6 September 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Movies like Ivanhoe, Outlander, Game of Thrones, Monty Python and the Holy Grail have all been huge box office hits. But what else do you think they might have in common? Yes, okay, they were all filmed here in this tiny hamlet of Doune, or, to be more precise, at the medieval fortress of Doune Castle. However, perhaps the most important thing they have in common is that, in spite of them all being totally unrealistic flights of fancy, they are all sooo much more believable than the current actuality of British politics. The situation has descended to such a level that watching ‘Westminster live’ has become compulsive viewing. Coronation Street has had to take a back seat as the masses switch to watching politicians conniving, lying through their teeth and stabbing each other in the back over Brexit. Some have even taken to stabbing each other in the front! Scriptwriters could not make this stuff up … it’s beyond imagination!

Doune on a wet day — Downtown Doune in the rain

Witches and MPs

This preamble, some might say ramble, is simply to say we are in Doune in the Buttercup Café, just a couple of hundred yards away from the castle. The last time we were in a Buttercup Café it was over a year ago in North Berwick. Back then we reported on how the town tortured and burned witches alive if they failed to conform. Looking at how the Tory party is dealing with its own MPs it seems that little has changed over the centuries.

We had just spent a strenuous few hours rummaging at the local Antique Centre on the outskirts of the village. As is usual when we visit such places, we bought quite a few items we didn’t need. In spite of knowing we didn’t need them, we bought them anyway. Such is the influence of antique shops over weak willed souls like ourselves. So, when we arrived at the Buttercup we were in severe need of respite and sustenance.

Lovely lunch

Some lunch was called for. The ladies here were super attentive and soon had us sorted with everything we needed, including a fruit scone for afters. Everything we had was super good and we were very much looking forward to our scone. Unfortunately it didn’t quite hit the mark. Enjoyable enough but a little bit dry and flowery for our taste. No topscone this time but a great wee café run by lovely people. We thoroughly recommend it.

Only one thing is sure

Now that Jo Johnson has decided to remove himself from the mess that masquerades as British politics we think he has shown an admirable and excellent example to his brother. Don’t hold your breath though. Somehow Boris gives the impression that it is all, what they would have called at Eton, ‘a jolly jape’. Only one thing seems to be sure. No matter what happens Boris will be just fine and laughing all the way to the bank.

FK16 6BJ tel: 01786 842511 Buttercup Café Doune FB

///crown.drummers.swooned

Scones, Top

Japanese Gardens at Cowden

27 August 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 2 Comments

This has definitely not been Prince Andrew’s week. He has won the “Most Useless Royal” accolade, admittedly against some very stiff competition. Presumably he also thinks he has thrown the media off the scent over his association with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. Good luck with that one! So desperate is he to regain some sort of respectability he is even thinking of getting back together with his ex-wife, Sarah. Alternatively he may just have to disappear for a while, but don’t worry, we have plenty more Royals lined up to take his title.

Gardens

Enough of that distasteful stuff! Such is the preponderance of Japanese gardens in central Scotland we have had to call this one the ‘Japanese Gardens at Cowden’ to differentiate them from the ‘Japanese Gardens at Dalziel House’. Who would have thought it? Both are just a short drive from where we live yet, until today, we had never been to either of them.

Oriental influences

We had spent the previous day chatting with a friend who lives in Tokyo and had our heads filled with everything Japanese. Hence today, feeling suitably inspired we set off for Cowden where we knew there was a Japanese garden. What’s one Japanese garden doing in the heart of Scotland you may well ask, never mind two? Well, this one is all down to one of these redoubtable Victorian ladies, Isabella ‘Ella’ Christie. She was born into money but she was remarkable because instead of sitting quietly doing embroidery, like many of her contemporaries, she traveled the world on her own. Particularly to countries like India, Tibet and Borneo. It was a visit to Japan, however, that sparked a fascination with their gardens and when she returned to Scotland she set about creating one here at Cowden Castle, her ancestral home, long since demolished.

Apparently when she was aged fifty and waiting for a train at the local station she was asked if she was traveling to Edinburgh … “no, Samarkand” was the reply. Gives you a sense of her indomitable spirit. To create the garden she even imported Japanese gardeners to help her with the task. Together they created a fabulous garden centered around a wee loch in the castle grounds. Sadly after Ella’s death in 1949 the garden suffered from neglect. Happily, it is now restored thanks to a charitable Trust. You can get an idea of the work that has been done in this little video.

Of course, we also knew that there was a tearoom at the gardens … as if an added incentive was necessary? Surprised though to find that the building housing the tearoom was nothing more than a rather utilitarian looking portakabin. Neverthel less, it served its purpose and we suspect that this is only a temporary arrangement until the charity that runs everything gets enough money to build something a bit more substantial. All the inside seats were taken so we had no choice but to sit outside. On a day like to today that’s what we would have chosen to do anyway.

Exciting!

We were served by a lovely elderly lady who began by apologising profusely for her lack of expertise. This was her first day doing this sort of work. Exciting for her and for us. We needn’t have worried though she soon had us sorted with some lunch and a fruit scone to share. The scone came with a little pot of jam and loads of whipped cream. For some reason we did not have high expectations and were pleasantly confounded when it turned out to be excellent. Topscone without a doubt!

The entrance to the Japanese Garden at Cowden — entrance to the gardens

One of Ella’s favourite haunts was Kashmir and we wonder what she would have made of the current disastrous situation there. In fact, what would she make of anything that is going on these days? Burning rain forests, Brexit, Trump, Johnson and Miley Cyrus‘ new tattoo? We are sure she would have found it all terribly tiresome. Ella called her Japanese Garden at Cowden ‘The Place of Pleasure and Delight’ … boy, do we need more places like that these days.

FK14 7PL tel: 07570 614763 Japanese Garden

///racing.films.afterglow

ps Our Kiwi correspondents have kindly sent a picture of some scones they thought were particularly good. They got them and some apple cake while dropping off some bulk fertiliser to friends in Whangarei just north of Aukland … don’t ask!They look absolutely delicious. Unfortunately, however, for readers, they are unavailable to the common people. Unless, of course, you happen to know Mary, their friend?

Ordinary, Scones

Fortingall Hotel

16 August 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Who would have thought it? A wee boy born here in the pretty little Perthshire village of Fortingall would eventually end up as Governor of Judea and condemning Jesus Christ to death. Extraordinary really. Anyway according to legend Pontius Pilate was born here. His mum and dad must have been on holiday. If, like Boris Johnson, you believe that then you will probably also believe that everything will be hunky dory after Brexit. Isn’t Brexit fantastic, never have Britain’s knickers been so twisted. It kind of defies comment!

What a difference a week makes!

Highland picture by Joe Adam at Fortingall Hotel — in reception, a typical highland scene by Joseph Adam

We’re here for the Fortingall Art Festival which, as it turns out, was last week. Wires crossed, knickers twisted, whatever, we missed it. To be fair, it was in no way a disaster. Driving down Glen Lyon must figure as one of the best drives in the world. And on a beautiful day like today, even more so. What do you do when you’ve arrived a week late for an arts festival? Look for a scone, of course!

A few years back we actually stayed in Fortingall Hotel. That must have been in pre scone blog days, however, when we actually had a life. It was nice to be back though and as soon as we walked in it all looked very familiar. It has that slightly lived-in look of an old Scottish shooting lodge … homely and comfortable. The staff all seemed to be from Poland but, as is their way, were super helpful and friendly. We could have sat in the lounge, the library or the bar. We chose the lounge and very soon we had our lovely warm scones in a beautiful silver basket complete with lashings of jam and cream. What more could you ask for? Well, we would have liked our scones to have been a little bit better. They were okay but definitely not topscones. Everything else was perfect, however, so we thoroughly enjoyed our time here.

Dull and Boring

When we left Fortingall we carried on down Glen Lyon towards Aberfeldy. Soon we came to the village of Dull which, as you can see from the signpost, is twinned with Boring in Oregon. We discovered that it’s possible to get a scone in Dull at Highland Safaris but we will have to leave that for another day. How exciting is that …. a Dull scone!

PH15 2NQ tel: 01887 830367 Fortingall

///whites.sitting.presenter

ps This K6 was right next to the hotel and it was in good working order … as you would expect from one made in Falkirk. Fortingall is a site of great antiquity … even the vegetation is ancient. The famous Fortingall yew tree to the right of the picture, at 5000 t0 9000 years old, claims to be the oldest living thing in Europe. although I sometimes make the same claim when getting out of bed in the morning. If the tree is indeed something like 5000 years old, then having witnessed bronze age man, Roman invasions, the Vikings and two World Wars we guess it could be forgiven for viewing the kerfuffle over Brexit with a slightly jaundiced eye. Wonder what it will see in another thousand years?

Useful link: things to do in Aberfeldy

Ordinary, Scones

Battle of Bannockburn

14 August 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

This Post May Contain Rants. We thought we should make that clear at the start for people of a sensitive disposition.

Purely by some fluke of circumstance we have ended up here at the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor Centre. We’ve been here at the site of the battle many times before but never bothered to go into the visitor centre. Today was different, however, it was pouring with rain. It was so heavy that we couldn’t get a decent photo of the outside of the building. It’s pretty ugly, however, so you’re not missing much. That could be the first rant. Why has such an iconic site got an ugly grey box for a visitor centre?

The second is about the signage. The Battle of … What? It has been so over designed it is barely decipherable. Considering that most folk coming here are foreigners this seems to add an unnecessary level of complexity to their understanding of what went on here. We see it all over the place. It’s the triumph of academia over common sense.

Borders

Of course the Centre celebrates the Battle of Bannockburn in 1314 between England and Scotland. It does beg the question of why there was an English army just outside Stirling in the first place. Okay, okay, Scotland has never been the easiest of neighbours … we’re a bit rough! Our national flower is not the jaggy thistle for nothing. Our bagpipes have not been declared a ‘weapon of war’ for nothing. Even wearing tartan has been seen as provocative … but still! We think that after Brexit, when an independent Scotland has rejoined the EU, instead of a wall along the border, we should have a leylandii hedge and then England can fight with us over what height it should be. It would help maintain a long tradition between difficult neighbours.

Robert the Bruce’s victory, of course, led to the Declaration of Arbroath which set Scotland up as a proud self respecting and independent country. Most importantly it declared that the independence of Scotland was the sole prerogative of the people of Scotland. A few centuries later, however, it all went pear shaped. A “parcel of rogues” in the form of a handful of Scottish aristocrats sold Scotland down the river in exchange for English gold. Scotland became the only country in the world to be ruled by another … as it still is today. Thankfully this sorry state of affairs is about to come to an end when, hopefully, within the not too distant future, the people will reassert their right to self determination and Scotland will be independent again … FREEDOM! Apologies, got a little bit carried away there.

Footnotes

This ranting about independence is all well and good but what about the important stuff … the scones, did they have scones.? Yes they did! It’s a little known fact but a footnote in the small print of the Declaration of Arbroath (as a small concession to the defeated English) states “if ever there be a visitor centre established at Bannockburn it must sell little packs of English butter from Wiltshire with the scones” And so it came to pass! There was no cream but our fruit scones came with said butter as well as jam that you dolloped on your plate from a large bowl at the servery.

A scone at the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor Centre — spot the fruit

It reminded us of how many cafés in Norway serve jam with their fabulous boller. Unfortunately these scones were very disappointing. They just did not taste right … as if something was missing. The fruit was certainly missing.

Kitsch

Scotland badge at the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor Centre — scottish tat

Something is missing from this Visitor Centre as well. Hard to put your finger on it but it could easily be much much better. They have the usual assemblage of tartan tat as well as a large display of Hollywood kitsch in the form of plastic props from the Outlaw King film … what’s that all about? That was the last rant. Don’t get us started on Boris. Just remember that although he doesn’t have a clue where he is taking the UK, it will all be great! Smile be upbeat, that will do the trick. Last rant … promise

FK7 0LJ tel: 01786 812664 Bannockburn

///item.wing.slope

The Pedant has just sent this picture of a brace of K6s at Knightsbridge Green in London. Both from the Lion foundry in Kirkintilloch and one of which is still fully functional. Many thanks.

Tug of War

No normal scones

Surprise

Wonderment

Handsome?

In brief

Good advice

The final solution

Martyrs

John and Greta

Date and walnut

Hard to believe

Three weeks to go

Quite a month

Dysfunctional

Definition of a Canny Soul

Sucking up

Witches and MPs

Lovely lunch

Only one thing is sure

Gardens

Oriental influences

Exciting!

What a difference a week makes!

Dull and Boring

Borders

Footnotes

Kitsch

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics