Tag Archives: Brexit

Crail Harbour Gallery & Tearoom revisited

4 July 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Last time we were in the Crail Harbour Gallery & Tearoom was way back in 2018. We hadn’t heard of COVID, Boris was just a joke rather than an elected joke. These were halcyon days! Never mind here we are in 2021 and at least we have the unaccustomed freedom to travel about the country. We are grateful for small mercies such as this. Crail village is picturesque, a favourite among artists. And probably has the most photographed harbour in Scotland. So it’s not entirely surprising that we were drawn back here.

A typical street in Crail — typical Crail street

Much bigger keep please

Last time, we told you the story of the wee boy who had misbehaved back in the 1600s and was thrown in the keep at Balcomie Castle to teach him a lesson. He starved to death because everyone forgot he was there. Tragic but then we wondered who we would like to throw into a keep, The list was so long we decide we would need a bigger keep. Three years later the list has got even bigger. Not only do we have Johnson, Gove, Rees-Mogg and the likes, we now have Cummings, Hancock and most of the DUP, and many more. Much bigger keep please!

View of Crail Harbour — *The Crail Harbour Gallery and Tearoom is to the right of this picture with blue shutters*

We are very pleased to report that the smoked haddock still adorns the Tolbooth weather vane rather than the traditional cockerel … only in Crail! After a few purchases at the Pottery we were ready for some lunch and a scone. The tearoom is still run by artist DS Mackie who fills the space with her own works. Like last time, we elected to sit outside and take in the panoramic views over the Firth of Forth to the distant Isle of May. A short boat trip will take you there. The puffins and razorbills have no fear and you can just sit down beside them. It’s great!

Sacrifice, sacrifice!

We were very well looked after by a gentleman who definitely wasn’t local … probably French we thought judging by the accent, the beret and the string of onions round his neck. Just kidding about the beret … and the onions! Our lunch was excellent and the scone came very well presented. Sitting in the sun thinking about puffins, eating scones helped down by some great coffee wasn’t easy. Honestly, the things we do for our readers! The tearoom isn’t big and does very well to maintain all the COVID rules and regulations. Back in 2018 the tearoom just missed out on our topscone award so we were very happy to rectify that this time around.

In case you’re wondering what we bought at the Pottery, it was just a couple of little wall hanging pots. The plant is the nepeta we bought by chucking money down a chute in Ceres in our previous post. It’s rather nice don’t you think and well worth its 50p cost?

Character

Crail harbour today still supports a few fishing boats but in the past it was at the centre of a bustling trade with Holland and the Low Countries.

A small door in Crail — Folk must have been smaller in the past

Sailing ships would take produce from Crail and return loaded with pantiles as ballast. This gave the East Neuk of Fife its particular character. The orange pantile roofs and the architecture just reek of Dutch influence. That, of course, was when we could trade freely with Europe, something we have just recently lost due to the imbecilic Boris and his merry band of eejits.

Who was first?

The trade with Europe in the 18th century probably gave rise to a ‘nouveau riche’ which in turn resulted in Crail now claiming to have the very first ever golf course in 1786. This may, of course be disputed by neighbouring St Andrews which prides itself as ‘The Home of Golf’. Continuing the sporty theme, last night in the Euros, England saw off Ukraine in some style with a 4-0 win. Great, however, we are dreading the next unbearable week of infantile speculative rambling about the next semi-final game with Denmark. Keep it in England please … we have scones to eat and puffins to think about!

KY10 3SU tel: 01333 451896 Harbour Gallery

PS Also came across this post box while wandering round the village … made in Falkirk!

Scones, Uncategorized

Pat’s scones

31 January 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 9 Comments

Before we treat you to a sample of Pat’s scones let us first take a look at the current lockdown situation. It isn’t getting less severe, the opposite if anything! And the end seems to get ever further away! As mouldy oldies we are getting our jabs in a couple of weeks but even that doesn’t appear to make that much difference. We can still become spreaders and it’s not until we get the second jab that the vaccine really becomes effective and goodness knows when that will be. Argh, the joys of COVID!

The Ununited Kingdom

Speaking of spreaders, Boris Johnston decided, a couple of days back, to grace Scotland with a whistle-stop tour. Goodness knows why? He must know that he is pretty much universally loathed north of the border. And of course the trip broke all the rules that apply to everyone else who has to live with the disastrous consequences of Westminster’s pathetic handling of the crisis. Increasingly people realise that many key government functions are only weakly anchored centrally. It’s London-centric credibility has been weakened and the UK now looks more and more like a fractured state. Then there’s Brexit!

Approval ratings

At the moment neither the Tories nor Labour have a snowball’s chance in hell of being elected in Scotland and as long as Boris maintains his current attitude he will remain the SNP’s most effective recruiting sergeant. Recently, in a poll, Nicola Sturgeon gained the highest approval rating of any UK politician … and that’s in England where she holds no sway! Remarkable!

Withdrawal

So, Pat’s scones, what about them? In the last few posts we’ve done skillingsboller and we’ve done pumpernickel, neither of which have anything much to do with scones. To be fair, we have done a scone but it was from Australia. That’s all very well but scone withdrawal symptoms eventually became fairly severe. It’s come to this, we have resorted to making our own. Not for the first time, of course, but we don’t normally resort to such drastic measures. To get the full scone experience you really need to go out and capture them in their natural habitat. We were also having to do without the assistance of the two small Vikings we have deployed on some recent occasions. They were doing schooling from home.

Pat made quite a large batch and then gave me two different presentations. One with a bowl of cream and a pot of homemade blackcurrant and gooseberry jam. Every thing was deliciousThe other came with cream and crab-apple jelly. What’s not to like? Thankfully she did not ask me to judge which was best but suffice to say they were both fab! Can’t award a topscone because then that would infer that you could come and visit and sample them for yourselves … but you can’t! Nobody can! The joys of COVID!

This was my favourite. Very small and presented just on its own I think it was supposed to convey some sort of message. Aww!

Just heard that toilet brushes have become the official symbol of the Russian protests in support of Alexei Navalny. It’s a crazy mixed up world!

Keep safe everyone!

Scones, Uncategorized

Skillingsboller

3 January 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

2020 wasn’t exactly a year to remember what with plague ravaging the country and mad politicians reaching new levels of lunacy. These things are mere trifles, however, when we tell you that the government has now told us to cease all sconological research forthwith! Sacre bleu! Okay, they didn’t actually get in touch with us specifically and tell us to desist but they may as well. Current COVID restrictions mean that we are not supposed to leave home except to care for others. We thought sconology fitted that brief perfectly but apparently, it doesn’t! So, in order to further your knowledge and broaden your cultural horizons we bring you skillingsboller … a sort of Norwegian scone equivalent.

Happy New Year

But first we would like to wish a happy new year to all our readers and correspondents, we hope that 2021 is much better than the past year. 2020 was memorable for having absolutely nothing whatsoever to commend it. A complete disaster. It did, however, serve to demonstrate the difference between the EU and the UK.

The ‘U’ stands for ‘Unity’ in both their names but the five years of negotiations combined with coronavirus have had opposite effects in both states. On one hand the 27 countries of the EU showing admirable unity with a show of democracy in action. On the other hand the totally undemocratic UK falling apart at the seams with it’s ‘Unity’ under unprecedented strain. All seventeen of the most recent opinion polls showing a clear majority in favour of Scottish independence and N.Ireland, is now left closer to Dublin than London. Even England’s long-standing bedfellow, Wales, is getting fed up up with the Boris shambles and Westminster’s inane dictatorial style. And lo-and-behold, on top of all that we now have part of the Tory party launching a campaign to rejoin the EU. Aaargh! As messes go, this is pretty messy.

Coffee and boller

Enough of all that! Thanks to a Viking son-in-law we used to spend a lot of time in Norway. Being there was fantastic but of course there were no scones. They did however have boller (pronounced ‘bolly’) which are to Norwegians what croissants are to the French or scones are to the Brits. They are made with cardamon spice and can often have raisins or even chocolate chips in them. Absolutely delicious. We became addicted and ‘coffee and boller’ quickly became part of the daily routine.

On this occasion, being at home without access to boller or scones of any kind, we decided to make skillingsboller. It’s a derivative of boller, a kind of cinnamon bun. Obviously you need a recipe but you also need the help of one big Viking and two small ones. This may be a problem for most folks but not for us … because we are blessed with all three!

Don’t make skillingsoller if you are in a hurry. It’s not something you can rush. It takes 2-3 hours at least. But then, why would you be in a rush when you can’t even leave home? Get baking! Be warned though, if you decide to utilise the two small Vikings it can take even longer. Particularly at the icing stage!

Suffice to say that the resulting skillingsboller was absolutely delicious, a major triumph for all concerned.

What do you want?

Emboldened by success our Vikings then went on to make normal boller. Don’t they look delish! If you can’t be bothered making them you can always visit United Bakeries in Oslo. There, you will find lots of boller of all kinds and a huge bowl of strawberry jam that you just help yourself to. Ah, memories! Boller is not a scone but if 2020 taught us anything it was that sometimes we can’t have everything we want. Hopefully in the not too distant future we will all have the ability to travel again and get what we want, what we really really want … sorry! Until then stay safe wherever you are!

Ordinary, Scones

Klondyke Garden Centre

16 December 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Even though. we haven’t been able to travel much over the past year, it’s been eighteen months since we were last here at Klondyke Garden Centre … and it’s only five minutes away? A lot has happened in that time. Back then we were on a mission and the mission was … compost and lots of it! For reasons we can’t quite remember we likened the garden centre to a drug dealer dealing in compost … we must have been high on the stuff? This time we were also on a mission but now it was pot … a big black one to be precise! Back then the café was called the Topiary Coffee Shop but now it appeared to have changed its name to the Polmont Restaurant. We wondered if anything else had changed. Well, quite a lot actually. For a start, because of COVID regulations, the layout had been adapted with greater spacing and large perspex screens between the tables. What else?

Wonders

Like everyone these days we are well used to scanning QR codes to give our contact details and get access to the menu. For us, however, this one was a bit different. Once you had done all that and got the menu up on screen you had to actually place your order and pay as well. Okey dokey! You’ve heard of the paperless office, well this was the waitressless café. Lunch and then a scone to share was what we wanted and, once we got the hang of it, the process was quite easy. We went through the menu and placed everything we wanted into our virtual basket, then we paid at the virtual checkout all rather familiar really. The wonders of QR (quick response) technology! And then we waited .. and waited … and waited.

No worries!

Twenty minutes later we realised other folks, who had come in after us, were getting food. Just then a lady appeared and asked if we had ordered. We said “yes” to which she asked “did you pay?” “Yes” to which she asked “did you use ApplePay?” “Yes” to which she replied “it didn’t work, can you check your bank account?” We did and there was no sign of the transaction. She then said “No worries, I can take your order, what did you want?” Argh! Having spent what seemed like half the day in the place we were no further forward. The wonders of QR technology!

Ordinary?

Never mind, everything would be fine when our food arrived and after a few more minutes it did. It was dumped on a table quite close to us in what was termed a “food drop zone”. Thankyou coronavirus, you have much to answer for. Lunch was mediocre at best and our scone came without the sharing plate we had asked for but by this time we were losing the will to live.

The scone had been hot when it reached the food drop zone but by the time we got to it, warmth was but a distant memory. Accompanied by the ubiquitous Tiptree jam (£0.50). Irish butter (£0.20) and a ‘healthy’ bowl of cream (£0.60), it wasn’t actually too bad in itself but probably more expensive than a Claridge’s scone. The overall experience had us scratching our heads trying to think of a categorisation below ‘ordinary’ but we gave up. We did get our big black pot though.

Deal or no deal

A big black hole might adequately describe the UK’s imminent departure from the EU. It was perfectly summed up the other day by a picture of Boris standing next to Ursula von der Leyen during BRexit talks. A bumbling shambolic mess standing next to a perfectly presented symbol of unity. We’ll leave you to work out which was which! Whatever happened to the “oven ready deal” Boris promised months ago or the “easiest deal in history” promised by Gove. Could it be that they are just pathological liars … perish the thought?

FK2 0XS tel: 01324 717035 Klondyke

///jars.member.stamp

PS: Many thanks to our Middle East correspondent for sending us this link to the Irish Times about dialects in Eire. It uses the word ‘scone’ as an example. “Picture a line across Ireland from Sligo through Leitrim and Cavan over to Louth. Below it, for most people, scone rhymes with ‘phone’; above it, with ‘gone’. Near the line, usage is more mixed. The line is an isogloss, like a weather-map isobar but showing where a linguistic feature stops or changes”. You see, sconology is not just about scones … now you’ve learned what an isogloss is. If you didn’t already know that is!

Our correspondent was mystified that his Granny always insisted on pronouncing her scones to rhyme with gone in spite of her being located in Dublin, well below that isogloss line. Heyho, well done Granny for impecable pronouncation! He also refers to her scones as “little miracles“, well done again Granny!

Scones, Top

Corner Café – Boxed

12 November 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Two years ago when we visited the Corner Café in our home town of Falkirk it was still a new enterprise … only two weeks old in fact. Fresh out of the box, so to speak! Now, the ever enterprising owner Andrew Harkins and his team, prompted by COVID restrictions, have taken it upon themselves to supply afternoon tea in a box. Egh? So it’s perhaps appropriate that the title of this post is not Corner Café – Revisited, because we didn’t, but Corner Café – Boxed.

Afternoon tea in a box is a bit of an oxymoron, is it not? Surely, an item of such gentility and refinement cannot be placed in a box? A cardboard box to boot! However, given that we cannot travel anywhere, the next best thing to being out for afternoon tea in some splendiferous surroundings is to have it at home. But then you have to make it! Well, for the princely sum of £20 you can enjoy the simply pleasures of afternoon tea for two in your own home. And none of the bother of actually having to make it yourself. Brilliant! But what would it be like? We had to investigate!

Headlines

Back in 2018, when we first reported on this place, the main news was about a member of the Royal family closing her own car door. The media had got its knickers in a right Royal twist. Things have moved on since then with the offending Royal banished forever to America where such unseemly behaviour is deemed quite acceptable.

We also reported that the Ayrshire Ladies tug-of-war team had won the 500kg World Championship in Cape Town. The only news from Ayrshire this week was a bold headline in the Ayrshire Daily News “South Ayrshire Golf club owner loses 2020 presidential election“. In the past Trump has said that if he loses he will leave the US and move to Scotland. Noooo … Trump for President, Biden’s a cheat!!!” Seriously, we thought a glass of bubbles was appropriate to toast President Joe and add a touch of decadence to our afternoon tea in a box. Not absolutely necessary you understand but necessary enough … okay?

What’s in the box?

Anyway, what about a box of afternoon tea? You do have to collect it from the Corner Café yourself but they provide it with a window so you get a hint of what’s inside! First impressions? There’s plenty in there. We might struggle a bit. When we decanted the contents on to our admittedly small tiered afternoon tea plate there was not nearly enough room for everything. It would have to be a two stage affair.

The sandwiches, rolls and pies were all excellent. Now we were getting worried about having enough room for the four medium sized scones. We were right to worry. At the end of the day, conscience of having to leave some room for cakes, we only managed one and a half scones between us. We had given them a wee blast in the oven so they were nice and warm. Generous tubs of jam and clotted cream made them quite delicious. It did no harm that, like the Corner Café, our tea and coffee was supplied by Henry’s Coffee Company. Another topscone for the Corner Café.

Wandering minds

In the end we did little justice to the cakes and biscuits. They’ll keep ’til tomorrow! As we sat there in front of the fire, pleasantly bloated and full of tea and bubbles our minds wandered to things we don’t understand. That’s a lot to contemplate! We thought getting older was supposed to bring greater understanding. Not so! Quite the opposite! Voting for Trump, voting for Boris, voting for Brexit, voting for Farage?? Thank goodness for afternoon tea. One of the few things left that we do understand.

Well done the Corner Café. The fact that you can get almost everything we understand into a relatively small box is truly amazing … or is it?

FK1 1LZ. tel: 01324 410949 The Corner Café FB

///spot.broad.exist

Ordinary, Scones

The Orangery at Victoria Square

18 September 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

We know, it’s been some time since our last post. And before we’re accused of bone idleness it’s because we’ve been busy with other things. Pathetic we know, we should sort out our priorities! We haven’t quite started galavanting yet so this foray to The Orangery at Victoria Square, in Stirling, seemed like a good, if still slightly tentative step, into the big bad world of coronavirus sconology.

It was recommended by the Laird, a valued correspondent of long standing. His full title is the Laird of Dumyat (pronounced dum-eye-at), a piece of land on which he has, built a 1300ft mountain … a kind of mountainette. Thankfully, we don’t think he has any connection with the Lascivious Laird of Kippendavie who lorded it over a neighbouring property around 1765. The genteel and wholesome nature of this blog forbids us from entering into further detail. For being retired and supposedly having nothing to do we seem to find it remarkably difficult to fit everything in. The stress, the stress! The idea of visiting this place was that it should provide an hour or two of blessed peace and tranquillity. Happily, we can report that it did just that. It did so in spades! “Can you just get on with it, what about the scones?” we hear you cry.

The rules, the rules

Bear with us a little, remember this is a COVID scone. This is a guest house and of course, we were interested to find out how they had fared over the past few months. Unsurprisingly, “with great difficulty” was the answer. What guests they have had have been from the UK with one or two from Germany. Our host apologised for being unable to take our jackets but of course, that is no longer allowed. The Orangery is a fine dining restaurant but with only one chef allowed in the kitchen at a time, even that is difficult. The whole situation was kind of summed when she said to no one in particular “it’s quiet without the music … we can’t even have that!”

Yes, music, singing and dancing are all forbidden. Living under COVID is akin to living under the Free Church of Scotland … you can do anything you like as long as you don’t enjoy yourself. We were enjoying ourselves immensely and fully expected thunderbolts. The lack of music meant that we could listen to other people’s conversation … sadly, none worth reporting.

We also never thought we would ever find ourselves having to apologise to an entire breed of cattle. On the wall overlooking our table was this picture which we thought reminded us of Boris. We sincerely apologise to Highland cattle everywhere, it was the horns that did it.

The scones, the scones

Okay, the scones were presented, not on the usual tiered cake stand but on a large china platter. One platter each. Only one scone each and it was, what was referred to as a “mini-scone”, can you spot it? You’re aware that we don’t really go for big scones but this even got us thinking about introducing a new ‘diminutive scone’ category.

Everything is prepared and baked inhouse and it was all wonderful. When it came to judging the scone however we felt that there was a little something missing … salt perhaps? Nice but no nice enough for a topscone. Pity, because we liked everything about this place and would love to return in better times.

Hash, hash, hash!

As the UK considers going back into full lockdown again, Boris continues to hash his way through the crisis declaring that everything they are doing is “world-beating“. His “oven-ready” deal with the EU turns out to be missing most of the ingredients and now he is threatening to break an International Treaty he signed up to only months ago. Simultaneously, he is managing to make a hash of the UK as a Union of Nations. He hates devolution so much that he, in his muddled up thinking, sees Brexit as the perfect excuse to seize back devolved powers to Westminster. We really do apologise to Highland cattle everywhere!

On a more upbeat note, we see that Barbados has finally decided to come of age with its decision to drop the Queen as their head of state. Well done Barbados! Scotland can’t even govern itself never mind make grown-up decisions like that.

FK8 2QZ tel: 01786 473920 The Orangery

///skirt.pretty.pens

Ordinary, Scones

Bob & Berts revisited

17 August 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 4 Comments

Still carless so we remain pretty much tethered to home. Our car is currently on Harris in the Outer Hebrides where the previous post hailed from. We are being inundated with photos of our granddaughters enjoying fabulous weather and swimming on Hebridean beaches.

Luskentyre beach on Harris — our granddaughter Lola running on one of the many overcrowded beaches in the Outer Hebrides

Meanwhile, back in Falkirk, with no particular desire to use public transport just yet, we were not feeling the same degree of joyous unfettered freedom. But sensing a bit of a scone urge, we quietly made our way to our own local High Street. And when we got there Bob & Berts was the only cafe with any available outside seating. So it was to be “Bob & Berts revisited”. Last time we reviewed this place it was our very first scone of 2019.

Car doors

Back then we appraised our 2018 year of sconing. The big political news of the year had been a member of the Royal family closing her own car door. The media was full of it. Some congratulatory but others full of righteous indignation at the sheer unabashed brashness of it all. Since then, of course, the responsible person has been banished from whence she came and since then all Royal car doors have remained free of scandal. Phew!

Snagging lists

Momentarily, we also turned to religion. God, we reckoned, must have looked with dismay at the mess He had made of His snagging list over two millennia. We felt, however, that He would have taken a crumb of comfort from a whole bunch of countries banding together in a spirit of cooperation to form the EU. He would have been proud! Oh dear, what will He be thinking now?

Last time, we gave Bob and Berts a bit of a hard time for not selling us a raspberry ripple scone and importing their jam from Oregon. That’s a massive carbon footprint for a wee pot of jam. Well, this time they only had cherry scones but the jam was still the same. We have to conclude that they are either impervious to justifiable criticism or they don’t read allaboutthescones.com. Incredibly we suspect it’s the latter. Heyho, we wouldn’t really want anyone serving American jam in Scotland to be reading our blog anyway!

We wish our “Bob & Berts revisited” experience had been an improvement on the first visit but it wasn’t. Our shared cherry scone was almost inedible. It may have been fresh on a certain day last week but it certainly wasn’t now. We left half of it. Stale scones, scooshie cream and American jam … what’s to like? Well, the coffee was actually quite good and the place itself has a nice hipsterish vibe. Not enough to make us rush back though.

Poetic scones

We are spoiled when it comes to refreshments because our coffee correspondent keeps us supplied with delicious Cat’s Pyjamas coffee from Henry’s Coffee Company. Sometimes we even find the odd anonymous package of trout on our doorstep and suspect it might be the very same correspondent. Among his many talents, he is renowned for his recitals of the poems of Robert Burns. He couldn’t bear for our antipodean corespondents to be the only ones waxing lyrically about scones so he’s penned a response. As expected, his ditty has an appropriate Scottish flavour.

Great tastin scone yir so elusive.
Tae find yir likes, one hikes ower Scotland’s hills and glens and islands.
Thru toons and villages, some wi’ sheds, some wi’ telephone boxes.
Some oft visited by wee ‘Willy Winkie’ and Pat and Billy.
Yir crumblin crumbs and so soft centre cause chaos on my taste buds.
Yi’ll taste much better when Scotland’s independent.

Normality?

Don’t know if this can be taken as a sign of things returning to normal after COVID? Remember the £5.36 I had in my pocket since March. Remember it mysteriously went up to £6.36. Well, now it’s gone. It’s now just 56p. No idea what’s happened but it’s definitely suffered a severe shock. It’s certainly not due to me being unduly profligate but I’ve obviously had to stick my hand in my pocket for some reason. I would, however, caution the world against taking this as conclusive proof a resumption of normality.

island, Ordinary, Scones

Isle of Harris Distillery – Again

9 August 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 10 Comments

We know, we know, we should be out looking for new scones now that coronavirus restrictions have been relaxed. We should be endeavouring to broaden your sconological knowledge. That’s as may be, however, we don’t feel particularly adventurous just yet. There’s still a lot of COVID uncertainty. And in addition, our daughter came up from London on the train with her family then stole our car. In fact, our car may well be parked outside the Isle of Harris Distillery as we speak. We, on the other hand, are quite definitely parked in Falkirk. In other words, our scone adventuring is somewhat curtailed for the next couple of weeks.

Morar beach 2020 — Our grandaughter yesterday on Morar beach on her way to the Isle of Harris

Although this was originally posted only last year when Theresa May was still striving to get her Brexit Bill through parliament, it seems like ancient history now. Nevertheless, these times that seemed particularly torrid at the time now seem of little consequence compared to what is happening this year. So let’s go back to when life was much simpler.

You all know by now that scones are our main objective where ever we go. However, sometimes it’s not as easy as you might imagine. Distractions abound e.g. sheds, eagles … distilleries! If we can’t find one to live in we feel somewhat obliged to visit them … it’s the decent thing to do. Maybe it’s just a Scottish thing, who knows? Anyway, this long-winded preamble is simply trying to let you know that we are in another distillery – the Isle of Harris Distillery. Like Raasay, this is another new kid on the block. It hasn’t actually produced any whisky yet but in the meantime, it’s producing lots of gin.

The old-established distilleries don’t bother with gin and probably look down their noses at those that do. However, for these new ones, cash flow is of paramount importance and ten years is a long time to wait for a return on your investment. Gin, on the other hand, you can make in a couple of days.

Sugar Kelp

Because of this, there are dedicated gin distilleries popping up all over Scotland … about 70 at the last count and they join 125 whisky distilleries. We also hadn’t realised until recently that the big well-known gins like Gordons, Hendricks and Tanquery are all produced in Scotland as well. That’s a lot of gin! They all claim to use their own unique blend of botanicals to flavour their products. On Harris, they use locally harvested sugar kelp … whatever? As long as they keep it well away from the whisky!

Mairi Mackenzie

Being only a few years old the distillery is very modern and has a large rather swanky visitor centre … and a café. We arrived back from our trip to the Butt of Lewis just as it was about to close. Enough time for a scone, however. Mairi Mackenzie does all their home-baking and it all looked delicious. As always a scone was what we had in our sights. It came accompanied with cream and jam. We have been desperate to find a topscone on this trip and so far it has eluded us. Unfortunately, Mairi’s scone didn’t change the situation. We thoroughly enjoyed it as we did everything about this place but it came up just short of the mark … pity.

They call the Isle of Harris Distillery the ‘social distillery’ because it aims to become the centre of the community. It certainly provides much-needed employment in this part of the world. Island economies are always fragile so anything that increases stability is always welcome. More power to their elbow! Their first whisky is to be called ‘Hearach’ which is what people from Harris are called in Gaelic … can’t wait!

Social places

Can’t wait for the fiasco masquerading as politics under the Westminster banner to sort itself out. Today, as Theresa May gives the Speaker a body swerve and tries for a third time to get her Brexit deal through the Commons, here, on the very edge of the EU, you feel pretty insulated from all that stuff. You feel, no matter what happens, the folks on these isolated islands where everyone knows everyone else will look after each other, come what may. It would be great if we could all have that sort of social community spirit. We are coming to the end of our time on Harris … sad!

HS3 3DJ tel: 01859 502212 Harris Distillery

Remember our Brisbane correspondent sent us a scone poem. Not to be outdone our Bathurst correspondent has responded with a work of his own.

“I enjoyed my Brisbane countryman’s poem in the last blog. I use the term “countryman” loosely though, because Australia is fast descending into a number of separate countries, courtesy of Covid-19….. But enough of that. I felt it incumbent upon me, however, to respond to your Brisbane correspondent’s contribution. I apologize in advance to Bill Wordsworth for pinching the structure of one of his better works.”

When it comes to poetic scones, these Aussies are certainly putting us Brits to shame. And yes, that’s a challenge!

island, Scones, Top

Artizan Café – Again

22 July 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Okay, we’re not quite back in the swing of things in terms of brand new scones so this is yet another one of our island reposts that you have all come to know and love?? This one from the Artizan Café in Stornoway is from our 2019 trip around some of the outer isles. Seems like an age ago! Theresa May was still clinging on like some demented rabid dog and we were still hopeful that Brexit would just go away. What fools we were! And we had never heard of COVID-19.

Anyway, you have all heard of BLM, Black lives Matter, the movement that swept the world in the wake of the death of George Floyd. Without wishing to diminish BLM in any way, in this post we want to raise awareness of BPM, Black Pudding Matters. So let’s go back a year.

Doubtless, you will all heave a huge sigh of relief when we say that our trip to the Outer Isles has finally come to an end. To get back home, however, we had to drive back through the hills of Harris and across the moors of Lewis to get to Stornoway. There we could catch a ferry to Ullapool on the Scottish mainland.

View of Stornoway harbour — Stornoway harbour

Tom, Dick and Harry

We aimed to leave a little time, however, so that we could see if there was more to Stornoway than black pudding. As you are all very well aware this town is the home of this delicacy. That mixture of beef suet, oatmeal, blood, onion, salt and pepper that’s become a favourite of fine dining establishments throughout the world. It’s good for you because it’s high in protein, zinc and iron. Now, it’s very future is endangered by Brexit. You probably have not been aware of Westminster debating the future of black pudding … because it hasn’t. Stornoway Black Pudding is a PGI (Protected Geographical Indication) under the EU Protected Food Name Scheme. Once we leave the EU that protection has gone. Any old Tom, Dick or Harry in Manchester, or wherever, will be able to produce inferior black pudding and call it ‘Stornoway’. If ever there was a reason for cancelling Brexit, this is it.

We went to Macleod & Macleod’s shop to view the genuine articles in their native surroundings, We didn’t buy. Pat’s not a fan so I would have had to eat all 1.5 kg myself. Too much even for me. Across the street from Macleod & Macleod is Artizan, a rather nice café combined with art gallery and jewellery shop.

Technological scone location

At this point perhaps we should explain the addition to the info at the end of each post. Traditionally we have provided postcode, phone number and web address. However, our correspondent, the Pedant, has complained that this only gives a vague idea of scone location … a matter of concern to him … him being a pedant and all that. An app called What3Words provides much more accurate information and will locate a scone, or at least the table it was on with a unique combination of three words. The three at the end of this post ‘calculating.sweetened.blossom’ will not only take you to the Artizan café but to the table we were sitting at in the café … provided you have the app, of course. No other table on earth has these same three words. Either a wonder of modern technology or a complete waste of time … it’s up to you. It is remarkable though and it’s free so give it a whirl if you want to know exactly where our scones are.

Anyway, Artizan was one of these places which just gives off a good vibe as soon as you go in. Everything about it feels good. When our scone came it was complete with butter, jam and clotted cream. It was delicious. Just the right amount of crunchiness combined with an excellent fluffy soft centre. No problem awarding a topscone here. At last, our long run of ordinary scones had been broken. The lovely lady who actually baked them chatted to us while she cleared our table. She was great as well!

All good things ..

And so we have come to the end of our trip. It has been great. A bit windy perhaps but we didn’t get rained on once. We have been able to provide our readers with a much more accurate scone locating system and discovered the home of black pudding, the best reason, if ever there was one, for cancelling Brexit altogether. As Theresa May contemplates dragging her battered and bruised ‘Deal’ back to the Commons for an unbelievable 4th time, someone really needs to take her aside and speak to her about black pudding.

HS1 2DH tel: 01851 706538 Artizan

calculating sweetened blossom

PS: If you have downloaded the W3W app and look at ‘rake.tacky.fronds’ that’s where we are on a ferry in the middle of the Minch … see, no postcodes out here! When we reach ‘reap.scored.twitchy’ we’ll be home!

LEWIS SHEDS

Peat cutting booth's on the Isle of Lewis — Three peat cutting bothies not far from Stornoway. One far away on horizon extreme left. There’s standing room only on the Sabbath … apparently!

Readers will remember our previous post about pumpkin scones, sent by our Aussie Bathurst correspondent. Well, here’s the sequel: “Following our recent treat of pumpkin scones, I decided to have a crack at cooking some myself. Same recipe as our hostess made on our recent excursion, but unfortunately, they did not turn out as well as expected. See photo with a one-pound coin for size comparison. What’s more, the one-pound coin was also slightly easier to chew. More of a biscuit really. Possibly because we used gluten-free flour to placate some gluten-free friends we had staying.”

Ten out of ten for a very admirable effort. While we acknowledge the consistency problem, we think the size is fine. Ideal for a genteel afternoon tea. But then, do Aussies do genteel?? We’re sure they’ll let us know.

Niceties

Apparently Westminster is getting in a frenzy about the burgeoning threat of Scottish Independence. So worried they have decided to send Boris on a dangerous mission north of the non-existent border. He won’t meet any real Scots though, only fellow rich tax-avoiding folks, then he’ll scurry off back to safety. They haven’t told Nicola or the Scottish government about the visit yet which just about sums up the relationship perfectly. Scotland doesn’t and never has had a voice so why bother with niceties?

island, Ordinary, Scones

Isle of Raasay Distillery 2

21 May 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

A few years ago we watched a tv documentary about the Isle of Raasay. They interviewed Duncan, a crofter in his eighties, who had spent his entire life on this tiny island. You might think he was just lacking ambition however he seemed the very essence of contentment. As we sit discontented in coronavirus lockdown it is perhaps salutary to think of him and how he enjoyed his life. We visited Isle of Raasay Distillery 2 in 2019 when Brexit still made the news.

Following on from our last post from the Mission Café in Mallaig we made it across the sea to Skye but with little time to spare. As soon as we landed at Armadale we had to drive directly to Sconsor to catch another ferry to the Isle of Raasay. Phew! This sconing stuff can be frantic. Actually there were several reasons other than scones for wanting to visit the island. They involve sheds and eagles and roads and things but we won’t go into that. Suffice to say that after a relatively short crossing we set foot on Raasay for the first time .. fantastic!

Needs must

There’s not a lot of accommodation on Raasay so we were having to stay in the distillery. We know, we know, the things we have to do to keep you sconeys up to date! We reckoned we could put up with it for a few days at least.

View from the distillery, Isle of Raasay — View from the distillery towards the Cuillins of Skye with the ferry approaching

It has only been open a couple of years so it’s the first distillery on the island … or as they point out, the first legal distillery. It is very modern in design though we were staying in the old Victorian part. Even it had been modernised to within an inch of its life and had all mod cons. It was extremely comfortable. Thank goodness, this made the whole idea of staying in a distillery, bearable at least. We won’t bore you with details because whisky is not what we are about. We are all about scones! Suffice to say, at night they lock the door leading from our living quarters to the distillery?

When it came to scones, however, we actually had to make the perilous one minute walk through the daffodils to Raasay House. In the 1500s this was the seat of the all powerful MacLeods however after the Battle of Culloden the original house was burned to the ground. It was rebuilt and in 1773, MacLeod of Raasay played host to Dr Johnston and James Boswell on their epic journey through the Highlands. Johnston wrote of his welcome on Raasay “After the usual refreshments, and the usual conversation, the evening came upon us. The carpet was then rolled off the floor; the musician was called, and the whole company was invited to dance, nor did ever fairies trip with greater alacrity.”

Calum’s Road

Today it was playing host to us but earlier in the day, we had been on our own epic journey … across Calum’s Road. It is named after the man who single handedly, over a period of ten years, built the entire road.

Calum MacLeod was made a stern stuff. As the local lighthouse keeper he had been campaigning for years to have the footpath that led to his home in Arnish in the north of the island upgraded to a road. Having no luck with officialdom he just decided to do it himself. Aided by a book of DIY road building.

Over a ten year period he completed the two mile route to Brochel Castle where it could join the existing road. In 1974 it was eventually adopted and surfaced by the local council.

View of Brochel Castle ruins, Isle of Raasay — Remains of Brochel Castle. Until 1671 the MacLeods used it to command the Sound of Raasay

Four people now live in Arnish and two of them work in the distillery. What a commute they have to work! We drove for two hours, sometimes reaching an electrifying 10mph where lack of potholes and road surface permitted … and never saw another car. Besides keeping a lighthouse and building roads, Calum was also a poet and a songwriter. It would have been great to have met him at the end of his road however he died some years back.

Epic

By the time we had completed this epic and sometimes hair-raising trip it was most definitely scone o’clock! As we took our seats looking out towards the Cuillins of Skye we were ready for an epic scone. Our scones arrived very promptly and came with butter, jam and the now infamous Rodda’s Cornish Cream. What the …? Not a great start and the scones just turned out to be kind of soft and somewhat lacking in character. The coffee and everything else was great so it was a shame. No topscone but ten out of ten for location.

Out of touch

When we are away like this we tend to not keep up with the news. Sometimes it’s because we don’t have time and sometimes it’s because there’s no internet or telephone services. Hopefully at some point we will be informed that Brexit’s Article 50 has been revoked and it was all just a bad dream. Or should we just stay here in blissful ignorance?

IV40 8PB tel: 01478 470178 Raasay Distillery

ps: these two K6s were in Inverarish the capital of Raasay. The village was built in 1914 to house miners for the iron mines used to fuel the war effort. It was abandoned in 1918 when the war ended but it now houses most of the 180 inhabitants of the island. These K6s were in perfect working order … made in Falkirk, of course. Would they have been made from iron ore mined on Raasay?

© bill paterson photography — parking nightmare in Inverarish

Miracles

We fully understand old Duncan not wishing to leave this island, we didn’t. When we were there, Pat bought me a bottle of “While We Wait” the whisky the distillery is selling until they can produce their own. I still have it … as yet unopened, it’s a miracle!

So far BoJo has fronted 4 coronavirus briefings, Nicola Sturgeon has fronted 59. As we learn from the First Minister of Scotland that we are to gain greater coronavirus freedoms as of next week we should perhaps bear in mind that in the very near future, with Brexit, we will be losing lots of other freedoms. We will be the only citizens of Europe unable to travel, study, work or retire freely across our own continent. England voted for this so we hope the Prime Minister of England can sort it out for England. Scotland emphatically did not, so we hope the First Minister of Scotland can sort that out as well. Another miracle required.

A SHED ON CALUM’s ROAD

Much bigger keep please

Sacrifice, sacrifice!

Character

Who was first?

The Ununited Kingdom

Approval ratings

Withdrawal

Happy New Year

Coffee and boller

What do you want?

Wonders

Ordinary?

Deal or no deal

Headlines

What’s in the box?

Wandering minds

The rules, the rules

The scones, the scones

Hash, hash, hash!

Car doors

Snagging lists

Poetic scones

Normality?

Sugar Kelp

Mairi Mackenzie

Social places

Tom, Dick and Harry

Technological scone location

All good things ..

LEWIS SHEDS

Niceties

Needs must

Calum’s Road

Epic

Out of touch

Miracles

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics