Tag Archives: Brexit

Ordinary, Scones

The Lyric Theatre Café

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Earwigging Swahili conversations

London means many different things to many different people. From our point of view it has too many cars, too many people, not enough time. And not enough scones.

Scones can be remarkably difficult to find in what is supposed to be one of the world’s leading cities. This is largely down to the same reason that Pat finds the capital so frustrating. Her remarkable ability to earwig other people’s conversations at one hundred paces is largely useless down here because they are almost all held in Swahili … or what might as well be Swahili. Scones suffer in the same way. Unless you go to a particularly English restaurant or café, and they can be relatively few and far between, you are unlikely to find a good old-fashioned scone. Internal view of the café at the Lyric theatre HammersmithNow all this diversity may be cause for celebration but for dedicated sconeys it can be a teensy bit frustrating. What happens though is that you sometimes find scones in unexpected places and that is always a pleasant surprise.

View from the roof terrace of the Lyric theatre Hammersmith
The garden terrace
Arts and Culture

London has lots of theatres, a fact not all together surprising when you consider that this city absorbs more than 75% of the entire UK Arts and Culture budget. Suffice to say that we found ourselves here at the Lyric Hammersmith, not expecting it to be a scone adventure. Lo-and-behold, however, there they were, plain and fruit, in the ground floor café. It had to be done.

The Lyric was built in 1895 slightly further up the street from where it now stands. After it was scheduled for demolition in 1966, a campaign was launched to save it, resulting in it being moved brick by brick to its current location. Picture of a scone at the Lyric theatre HammersmithThe café is run by Peyton & Byrne, a company which holds the catering contracts for places like the Royal Academy, the National Gallery and the Orangery at Kew Gardens .. so you would imagine that it would be good. However, even though our scones came well presented with lots of jam and cream they were not exceptional. Enjoyable enough but nothing more. Just in case you think we are getting a bit highfalutin, we were here to see a production of the Ugly Duckling in the middle of the afternoon.

Royal Prerogative

We will leave you work it out. It was fab … we understood it all! Understanding, however, is much more difficult when it comes to the current government position on Brexit. Our ‘unelected’ prime minister is invoking the ancient ‘royal prerogative’ in order to circumvent any consultation whatsoever with our ‘elected’ representatives in Parliament. Thank goodness Corbyn seems to be getting his act together at long last.

W6 0QL       tel: 020 8741 6850       The Lyric

ps: a bulletin has just arrived from our ‘south coast’ correspondents regarding the scones they found on a weekend visit to Torquay. They thought these Devon beauties were great, but not quite up to our topscone benchmark. We have never been to Torquay but now we may have to go and test them ourselves. Many thanks for the report. Picture of scones at Dot's Pantry, TorquayIt looks suspiciously like they have put the cream on first … what are these Devon folk like??

TQ2 5QB    tel: 01803 294396     Dot’s Pantry

Ordinary, Scones

The Ladybird Tearoom

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If you have ever picked up a bottle of Johnnie Walker … and, let’s face it, who hasn’t, you were probably more interested in the contents than the bottle itself. That bottle however was probably made here in Alloa where the glassworks is one of the biggest employers in an old established industry.

‘Twas not always so settled though! Things were a little different in 1715. The Earl of Mar, who owned most of the town had to flee the country and forfeit his lands. He had backed the wrong side in the Jacobite rebellion. Heyho, it did not hold the town back for long and Alloa soon became the main port for exporting Glasgow’s manufactured goods across the North Sea to the continent. In 1878 they even started their own football team, Clackmannan County, though 5 years later it changed it’s name to Alloa Athletic … and the team still plays at Recreation Park to this day.

The town is no longer a flourishing port and in common with many other towns that have lost much of their industry, it looks a bit tired. Interior of the Ladybird tearoom in AlloaIt is surrounded by all the usual ‘superstores’ that only serve to make all such towns look equally miserable. They have sucked the lifeblood out of the centre.

Cut the crap, we hear you ask impatiently, does it have scones ? Apologies for the course language .. too many episodes of House of Cards. The answer, of course, is, yes it does. Hence we find ourselves here at the Ladybird Tearoom.
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Nightmares

It’s nice enough and everyone’s very friendly. Although we were told that the scones had been baked that day, we suspect it was actually the day before. So not good if freshly baked but not bad if they were yesterday’s, if you catch our drift. a Ladybird Tearoom sconeNo awards awarded today, unfortunately. We got the feeling that this place was full of good intentions. It had large jars of jelly babies on every table so you could just help yourself. A generous well intentioned gesture, but a nightmare for parents trying to keep their kids off the easy road to obesity. As such, it probably keeps as many folk away as it attracts.fancy a brew union jack

State of the Union

There was also much of the usual lifestyle advice hanging on the walls. The one asking the question ‘fancy a brew’ had, as it’s background, a rather faded and jaded union jack. We felt it quite accurately reflected the current state of the Union. The other day the Prime Minister declared that Scotland, in the same way as other regions of the UK, would just have to live with the result of Brexit. Thus demonstrating her amazingly poor understanding of what the UK actually is. Whatever her understanding is, Scotland, for sure, is not a ‘region’. A fact that will doubtless be brought to her attention in the near future.

FK10 1ED       Ladybird Tearoom FB

Scones, Top

Boclair House Hotel

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After a disappointing run of ‘poor’ or ‘no-show’ baking encounters at the Brenachoile then at Coffee on Wooer, we felt we had to do something to lift the air of despondency on planet scone. What better, to turn our fortunes around, than a visit to the offices of East Dunbartonshire Council. That’s what it was until it was recently transformed into the Boclair House Hotel. the terrace at Boclair House HotelThe red sandstone mansion was built in 1890 by the three sisters, Misses Buchanan, Margaret, Jane and Elizabeth. It was originallly known as the Buchanan Retreat for the exclusive use of the less well off members of the Buchanan clan.

Nowadays, it is definitely for the more well to do Buchanans .. and everybody else of course! So called because it sits on Boclair hill, it was a very familiar architectural sight for Pat and I, in our courting days, when we used to whiz to and fro on the back road between Falkirk and Drumchapel.

We can do swank!

After all these years we were fascinated to, at long last, see inside. Here with one of Pat’s aunts, afternoon tea was what we were aiming for and the rather sumptuous surrounds in Annabel’s Bar, scene of the action, only served to heighten our expectations even further. Surely we wouldn’t get a duff scone here? Interior of Annabel's bar at Boclair House Hotel

Of course, we had to have a glass of champs to kick things off because if you are going to do swank then you have to do it properly. We can do swank with the best of them! afternoon teaNormally on such occasions the scones appear on the lower or middle tier of the cake stand. This time however they arrived majestically, in pride of place. Elevated above the sandwiches and cakes. It all looked scrummy … and it was! The scones were warm and slightly crunchy on the outside with a delightful soft interior. Together with the jam and cream … topscone, no doubt!

Trump and Farage

If you have ever harboured any lingering doubts about Nigel Farage maybe being one of the good guys, though we cannot imagine why you would, his recent appearance as one of Trump’s henchmen must surely clinch it for you. He’s an idiot! Probably a much richer idiot than he was before the event … but still an idiot! Having fled from the Brexit battlefield he now turns up in the US. Can we stop him returning to the UK? Apparently his wife is a foreigner so under our new regime that should be grounds enough?

G61 2TQ     tel: 0141 942 4278      Boclair House Hotel

Scones, Uncategorized

Kinlochard Gathering

First it was Gibraltar, then it was Vilnius. Guess where our globe-trotting Trossachs correspondents are now? Would you believe it … the Trossachs!! They have filed a report on the annual Kinlochard Gathering which was held a couple of weeks back.

Although the weather was on the dreich side everyone seems to have had a good time. It begins with the Grand Parade from the Forest Hills hotel to the Village field. “Clan Chief and storyteller Paraig McNeill bearing the Saltire led the Parade followed by the inspiring sound of the Callander Pipe Band and many villagers and guests bearing an impressive array of international flags . It sent a powerful message to the world that Scotland and its people value and welcome our international residents and visitors“.

The programme contained all the usual heavy events but there was also a duck race; a giant sack race; a crown making competition; a teddy bear’s picnic … in short, something for everyone.  As if all this was not enough, amidst great excitement, there was a genuine verified sighting of Nessie  … presumably on her holidays? If the weather deteriorated, revelers were able to retreat to the Village Hall where everyone was protected. As Ivor Cutler would have said, “from the worst of the effects of the fresh air“. Kinlochard 01

Bargain scones

In the hall, our correspondents were duly impressed with what was on offer. “We could only sample the cream scones which were crisp on the outside, with a delicious interior supplemented by an excellent filling of cream and jam. Sorry you could not add the cream and jam yourself but this option was available with the butter and jam variety.  At the price of £2.00 for a tea or coffee plus a cream scone. This must be a contender for the Scottish bargain of the year”. Scone consumption was accompanied by traditional music from the Feis Point Ceilidh Band and the Loch Lomond Ukulele Orchestra. International visitors from France, Belgium, Canada, Japan and USA thoroughly enjoyed the Scottish hospitality. The message from the French and Belgians was very clear … “whatever the outcome of the Brexit fiasco they see Scotland as an integral part of the EU … c’mon Nicola“.

Thanks are due, yet again, to our correspondents who, at last, have decided to do some sconology nearer to home. Delicious as these scones undoubtedly were, unfortunately we cannot categorise them. Without a personal tasting we will just have to make a note (as you should) in next year’s diary. Sunday 16th July 2017. Will Nessie make another appearance?

FK8 3TL      tel: 01877 387 264       Kinlochard Gathering

foreign, Scones, Uncategorized

Trakai Island Castle

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What are our Trossachs correspondents like?? A couple of weeks ago it was Gibraltar, then Stronachlachar and now, Vilnius, (we are prepared to bet that that is the first time these three places have ever been mentioned in a single sentence). We thought our own scone efforts were pretty good but this is definitely above and beyond. It all depends on the scones of course.

Searching for scones

Well, .. in spite of their best endeavours, scouring Vilnius from top to bottom, not a single scone was found … zilch. At one point they excitedly crossed the street because they had seen these in a café window. They turned out to be some sort of crème brûlée thingys. Easy mistake to make. Lithuania 04They did however come across signs of support for our own Nicola Sturgeon.

Did they give up? Not a bit of it. Undaunted, and taking inspiration from our Aussie correspondents who recently reported from Eilean Donan Castle, they elected to try and find an equivalent. And they did, about 20km west of Vilnius.  Trakai Island Castle on Lake Galvė, like Eilean Donan, is situated on an island and joined to the mainland by a bridge. It dates from the 14th century. After falling into serious disrepair it underwent a major reconstruction program which was only completed in the 1960s. Unfortunately, yet again there were no scones. There were, however, reminders of home.Lithuania 02b The Lithuanians have a haggis equivalent, vedarai, and seem happy to compare it to the genuine article.

Incomprehension

What of Lithuania itself and its people? We can do no better than quote directly from our correspondents report: “the very clear message here (Lithuania) is that all generations cannot understand how or why the UK voted for Brexit. They also know quite clearly that Scotland voted to Remain. This is a small country of just under 3 million, reveling in it’s independence and EU membership. Is everything perfect.? No, many of their young people are working in Scotland and sending money home.

However, they are confident about their future, have an education system where children are educated in Lithuanian and English and are generally very positive about being members of the enlarged European family. Lithuania 03We have experienced none of the xenophobic rhetoric of Farage, Gove and Co. We note that Gove has got his just deserts and that the UK will now have a woman as Prime Minister. Lithuania already has one and of course we have Nicola. Let’s hope that the UK does not repeat the last occasion we had a female Prime Minister. A model of whom we saw in a street market in Trakai today”.

Scotland and Lithuania

Once again we are indebted to our Trossachs correspondents in spite of the dearth of scones. It seems that Lithuania has much in common with Scotland. A high degree of national pride and a philosophy that foreigners are welcome and considered an asset. Of course Scotland has a vast array of riches compared with Lithuania, not just scones! Unbelievably though, Scotland, still has all it’s major decisions made by another country with very different interests? You can almost see the open-mouthed incredulous look on Lithuanian faces. They must think we are mad … or stupid, or both!

Lithuania       tel: +370 528 53946      Trakai Island Castle

BREAKING NEWS: Our correspondents, still in Lithuania, have decided that they are not going to find any Lithuanian scones comparable to our own. Lithuania 12However, they have managed to find a sort of scone equivalent in a café called Kmyninė just east of Vilnius city centre. Lithuania 10They were served by a lovely man and woman who have had the café for just over a year and made them feel very welcome.

Lithuanian scones

Once again quoting directly. “It is one of many great initiatives, we have experienced, where hard working young people are making a real fist of it in challenging circumstances. It is hard for us to comprehend how the poisonous narrative of the Brexit campaign managed to persuade the UK electorate that these fine young Europeans are a threat to our society and values. At least they know that they are welcome in Scotland”. Lithuania 11But what about the Lithuanian scones? Lithuania 08“There was no jam,cream or butter but these offerings were delicious. crisp on the outside, soft and tasty inside with a lovely nutty flavour. A bit like Ma Broon’s rock cakes”. So there you have it, another first for allaboutthescones.com. If in Vilnius and crave a scone, your best bet is to head to Kmyninė.

Vilnius        tel: +370 640 49042          Kmyninė Food & Groceries FB

foreign, Ordinary, Scones

Aragon Bar Gibraltar

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Every now and again, particularly if our flow of scone posts slows down a bit, we get a communiqué from one of our foreign correspondents. In this case the ‘foreign’ may be something of a misnomer since they are better know to all as our ‘Trossachs correspondents’. Needless to say, all our correspondents have a roving brief. Unsurprising then to find them straying far far away from Loch Ard. They are visiting one of the last vestiges of the Great British Empire … Gibraltar.

This is their story. A sign at the Aragon Bar, GibraltarAs most of you probably know, this ape covered Rock on the southernmost tip of Spain is more British than Britain. So after circumventing the Winston Churchill car park, passing by Morrisons, M&S and Costa Coffee, enveloped in the all-pervading smell of ‘English’ fish & chips. Then … as if to complete the picture, our intrepid travelers came on this startling sign. It pointed them up a steep hill to the Aragon, a typical “English” pub . We all know that no self respecting English pub would be without it’s scones.

A sign for the Aragon Bar, GibraltarAfter their uphill travails they were very much looking forward to some refreshment however the picture of Catherine of Aragon on the menu should have been a warning. Unbeknown to them she had already had a scone. If we can quote directly from the report “poor old Catherine’s face says itA scone at the Aragon Bar, Gibraltar all!! Losing her first husband and then marrying his wee brother who chucked her for Anne Boleyn she now has, as a testament, an establishment that sells hot doughy scones with synthetic cream and a carton of rather insipid jam”. ‘Nuff said.

The wonder of Gibraltar

The scone disappointment did not deter our reporters from digging into the background of Gibraltar and it’s weird British outpost status. Apparently it is the 3rd richest territory on the planet.  It has a per capita income of €53,000 and an unemployment rate of less than 2%. In contrast, the neighbouring province of Cadiz has a per capita income of less than €7,000 and unemployment of 40%. A third of the Rock’s income comes from tobacco sales and a further 25% from on-line gaming. Gibraltar is also an important financial centre with over 70,000 registered companies. What are the chances of most of them being registered there for reasons of tax avoidance. Answers on a post card. We now fully understand why eurosceptic, Liam Fox, was stressing the importance of Britain maintaining sovereignty over Gibraltar in the event of his desired Brexit.

is that Bojo?
is that Bojo?

So there you have it. Will the sun ever set on this last bastion of the Empire? Just when you thought Catherine had more than enough problems, she will now, forever, be associated with awful scones. Many thanks to our reporters … where next?

GX11 1AA        tel: 35020078855        The Aragon Bar TA

Ordinary, Scones

Findlays

Back in at home after our all too brief sojourn up north. The weather has come out in sympathy with our mood, it’s a bleak kind of day. After attending to some business in the town centre we ended up here at Findlays, hoping to have our spirits raised. The rather impressive old Victorian building was built in 1893 as Falkirk’s main Post Office but since then it has undergone a variety of uses leading up to it’s current incarnation as the Falkirk Business Hub, a place which provides a home to over 30 businesses and employs around 150 people. Findlays 03Findlays is the café for the FBH but is open to everyone.

It’s pleasant enough. If it was just providing canteen facilities to the FBH, it would be doing a great job. However it has ambitions and promotes itself as ‘the home of great food and coffee’  .. but it just isn’t. It looks and feels like part of the Hub and lacks that coffee shop vibe. These days we expect wifi everywhere we go. Here the password is helpfully provided on the menu .. but it doesn’t work. The correct password (the one with the capital letter at the start) is on a wall blackboard … annoying. Doubly annoying to have people cleaning windows and going around with feather dusters while you are trying to eat your scone!  Findlays 02So far, so not so good … the mood was not lifting!

Here you might hope that the scones would ride to the rescue with a glowing report and everyone would live happily ever after … but no. It was a case of style over substance. Presentation is a wonderful thing, it delights the eye and heightens expectations. These expectations however have to be fulfilled and sadly this was not the case here. They were disappointingly pasty and heavy. Could the mood get any blacker? Well, yes, just look at the news.

Advice on Brexit

It turns out that Scottish Labour’s PFI scandal has taken a turn for the worse. Not only are our schools and hospitals crumbling, we don’t even know who owns them. The ownership of many being held in overseas tax havens. No one seems too sure who owns British Home Stores either as it descends into receivership. This is the super-duper modern business world we live in! Good though, that Barak Obama managed to stop by to wish the Queen a happy birthday and offer his advice on Brexit. Having advised on the Scottish referendum, he presumable felt he had to do the same for the EU one. Findlays 04Obama is probably the best US President there has been for a long long time. We need not kid ourselves, however, that it is all being done with some sort of ‘special relationship’ benevolence. The US only cares about one thing .. the US!

Looking to the multinationals

Findlays is not doing anything particularly wrong but, based on our visit, it is not doing anything particularly right either. The website is a waste of time. Once again it is a case of taking a long hard look at the multinationals like Costa and Café Nero and figuring out how they always get it so right. We wish them luck. Let’s hope we will be in a better mood by the next post.

FK1 1LL            tel: 01324 614062               Findlays Business Hub