Tag Archives: Boris Johnston

Scones, Top

Isle of Eriska Hotel – Again

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This post from the Isle of Eriska Hotel is from June 2019. Eriska is small but perfectly formed. The same could not be said for Theresa May who had just announced that she was standing down as Prime Minister after a disastrous year. The race to replace her between Bojo and Jeremy Hunt was just beginning.

It had been some time since we had posted on the blog so we had to begin with a kind of half-hearted apology.

Okay, okay, it’s been a while since the last post. We know that most of you view us purely as one-dimensional scone munchers however there is much more to us than that. “Deep and diverse” could easily describe us if you squidged up your eyes and gave us the benefit of a lot of doubt. We’ve been busy with other things … okay?

Controversy 1

The UK is beset by controversy at the moment … Bojo’s brush with the law after a rammy with his bidey-in, for one. Then there are the even more controversial photos of him all loved up with the same bidey-in the following day.

Controversy 2

So, far be it from us to heap more controversy on a public already struggling to cope. It has to be asked, however … when is an island not an island? This question

The bridge to the Isle of Eriska Hotel
The Isle of Eriska bridge

has beset the Isle of Skye since they built the bridge. It even begs the question – is Great Britain an island since they built the Chunnel? The reason for it being so topical is simply that today we are on the Isle of Eriska and it also has a bridge! We were about to tackle the management with the Trades Descriptions Act when our cream teas arrived and completely distracted us.

External view of the Isle of Eriska Hotel
Pat sitting outside the conservatory

The 300 acre Isle of Eriska is situated at the entrance to Loch Creran on Scotland’s west coast. The ‘big house’ was built in 1884 by the Stewarts of Appin and designed by Hippolyte Blanc who also designed Jenners in Edinburgh’s Princes Street. Since 2016 it has been managed by the same Inverlochy Castle Management Company that looks after Andy Murray’s Cromlix House.

Fly pasts

Our cream teas were served to us in the sunshine at a table in frCream tea at the Isle of Eriska Hotelont of the conservatory. Where else on a day like today? Needless to say, the little titbits that accompanied our scones were soon beginning to melt … and so were we! We were able to sit long enough however to have a flypast by a kestrel, an eagle-owl and a Harris hawk.  A young Belgian/German couple were being shown the intricacies of hawking and we were also the beneficiaries. Where else do you get a hawking lesson with your scones? Readers can probably guess that awarding a top scone to this place was not exactly difficult. The service, the presentation and the scones themselves were all excellent.

the golf course at the Isle of Eriska Hotel
We might possibly be persuaded to take up golf here .. if we had absolutely nothing better to do
Otters

There is more to this place than scones, however. A spa and swimming pool are there if you need extra pampering. There’s squash courts, a golf course and clay pigeon shooting if you feel energised by your scone. The beach at the Isle of Eriska HotelWe felt sufficiently energised to take a walk to the north end of the island where we sat on the beach in complete silence. Not even the distant murmur of a car engine or indeed anything. We didn’t even see another human being in our entire walk. It was as if we had the entire island to ourselves. The shrill cry of an oystercatcher once broke the peace and quiet but that was all. A short onward stroll around the shore took us to Otter Point but there were no otters. There must be an otter reason for it being called that … sorry!

We cannot fault this place. Warmly welcomed by everyone, we spent a good part of the day here and didn’t even part with as much as £20. Next time though we will come and stay and that might cost a bit more.

Clarity

We feel that politicians should be banned from using phrases such as “let me make this absolutely clear”. They all use it with monotonous regularity and still no one has a scooby about what’s going on .. including them! Luckily, the extravagant promises being flung around with gay abandon by both contenders for the Tory leadership don’t actually matter. After all the Great British public don’t get a say in who will be their next Prime Minister … democracy, UK style!

View from the Deck restuarant at the Isle of Eriska Hotel
View from the Deck restaurant towards the hills of Morvern

As far as the ‘island’ controversy goes we have decided that, since Eriska has always been accessible by foot at low tide, the bridge makes little difference. In other words, it doesn’t matter … but you knew that already.

PA37 1SD             tel: 01631 720 371               Eriska Hotel

///iron.interview.orbited

ps: In Eriska village (the hotel’s staff quarters) on the mainland side of the bridge we came across this K5 telephone box. It wasn’t working but it was made in Falkirk. As such, it is the first K5 we have found from our home town. The other one we found at the Bay Hotel was from the Lion Foundry in Kirkintilloch. There are only 54 K5s registered as still being in existence in the UK but we doubt that this one is registered.

Austerity

Boris Johnson, when asked where the money is coming from for his multi-billion pound spending plans says that the cash is there and that austerity is not the answer. This, from the man whose government for the past decade has been saying exactly the opposite and rubbishing anyone who disagreed. Many of the problems we are currently facing with COVID-19 in the NHS and education are a direct result of that austerity. We wonder if Boris is surprised at what comes out when he opens his mouth?

What border?

Scotland has managed the coronavirus situation much better than England so now, with it flaring up again in the south,  there’s talk of health checks at the border. That’ll be the same border that many Westminster MPs say doesn’t exist?

ISLE OF ERISKA SHED

A shed on the Isle of Eriska
A tiny island so not a lot of sheds. This one is for clay pigeon shoots

Ordinary, Scones

Fortingall Hotel

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Who would have thought it? A wee boy born here in the pretty little Perthshire village of Fortingall would eventually end up as Governor of Judea and condemning Jesus Christ to death. Extraordinary really. Anyway according to legend Pontius Pilate was born here. His mum and dad must have been on holiday. If, like Boris Johnson, you believe that then you will probably also believe that everything will be hunky dory after Brexit. Isn’t Brexit fantastic, never have Britain’s knickers been so twisted. It kind of defies comment!

What a difference a week makes!
Highland picture by Joe Adam at Fortingall Hotel
in reception, a typical highland scene by Joseph Adam

We’re here for the Fortingall Art Festival which, as it turns out, was last week. Wires crossed, knickers twisted, whatever, we missed it. To be fair, it was in no way a disaster. Driving down Glen Lyon must figure as one of the best drives in the world. And on a beautiful day like today, even more so. What do you do when you’ve arrived a week late for an arts festival? Look for a scone, of course!

Internal view of Fortingall HotelA few years back we actually stayed in Fortingall Hotel. That must have been in pre scone blog days, however, when we actually had a life. It was nice to be back though and as soon as we walked in it all looked very familiar. It has that slightly lived-in look of an old Scottish shooting lodge …  homely and comfortable.  Scones at Fortingall HotelThe staff all seemed to be from Poland but, as is their way, were super helpful and friendly. We could have sat in the lounge, the library or the bar. We chose the lounge and very soon we had our lovely warm scones in a beautiful silver basket  complete with lashings of jam and cream. What more could you ask for?  Well, we would have liked our scones to have been a little bit better. They were okay but definitely not topscones. Everything else was perfect, however, so we thoroughly enjoyed our time here.External view of Fortingall Hotel

Signpost for Dull near FortingallDull and Boring

When we left Fortingall we carried on down Glen Lyon towards Aberfeldy. Soon we came to the village of Dull which, as you can see from the signpost, is twinned with Boring in Oregon. We discovered that it’s possible to get a scone in Dull at Highland Safaris but we will have to leave that for another day. How exciting is that …. a Dull scone!

PH15 2NQ            tel: 01887 830367               Fortingall

///whites.sitting.presenter

ps This K6 was right next to the hotel and it was in good working order … as you would expect from one made in Falkirk. Fortingall is a site of great antiquity … even the vegetation is ancient. The famous Fortingall yew tree to the right of the picture, at 5000 t0 9000 years old, claims to be the oldest living thing in Europe. although I sometimes make the same claim when getting out of bed in the morning. If the tree is indeed something like 5000 years old, then having witnessed bronze age man, Roman invasions, the Vikings and two World Wars we guess it could be forgiven for viewing the kerfuffle over Brexit with a slightly jaundiced eye. Wonder what it will see in another thousand years?

Useful link: things to do in Aberfeldy

Ordinary, Scones

Battle of Bannockburn

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This Post May Contain Rants. We thought we should make that clear at the start for people of a sensitive disposition.

Purely by some fluke of circumstance we have ended up here at the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor Centre. We’ve been here at the site of the battle many times before but never bothered to go into the visitor centre. Today was different, however, it was pouring with rain. It was so heavy that we couldn’t get a decent photo of the outside of the building. It’s pretty ugly, however, so you’re not missing much. That could be the first rant. Why has such an iconic site got an ugly grey box for a visitor centre? Sign for the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor Centre

The second is about the signage. The Battle of … What? It has been so over designed it is barely decipherable. Considering that most folk coming here are foreigners this seems to add an unnecessary level of complexity to their understanding of what went on here. We see it all over the place. It’s the triumph of academia over common sense.

Borders

Of course the Centre celebrates the Battle of Bannockburn in 1314 between England and Scotland. It does beg the question of why there was an English army just outside Stirling in the first place. Okay, okay, Scotland has never been the easiest of neighbours … we’re a bit rough! Our national flower is not the jaggy thistle for nothing. Our bagpipes have not been declared a ‘weapon of war’ for nothing. Even wearing tartan has been seen as provocative … but still! We think that after Brexit, when an independent Scotland has rejoined the EU, instead of a wall along the border, we should have a leylandii hedge and then England can fight with us over what height it should be. It would help maintain a long tradition between difficult neighbours.

Internal view of the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor CentreRobert the Bruce’s victory, of course, led to the Declaration of Arbroath which set Scotland up as a proud self respecting and independent country. Most importantly it declared that the independence of Scotland was the sole prerogative of the people of Scotland. A few centuries later, however, it all went pear shaped. A “parcel of rogues” in the form of a handful of Scottish aristocrats sold Scotland down the river in exchange for English gold. Scotland became the only country in the world to be ruled by another … as it still is today. Thankfully this sorry state of affairs is about to come to an end when, hopefully, within the not too distant future, the people will reassert their right to self determination and Scotland will be independent again … FREEDOM! Apologies, got a little bit carried away there.

Footnotes

This ranting about independence is all well and good but what about the important stuff … the scones, did they have scones.? A scone at the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor CentreYes they did! It’s a little known fact but a footnote in the small print of the Declaration of Arbroath (as a small concession to the defeated English) states “if ever there be a visitor centre established at Bannockburn it must sell little packs of English butter from Wiltshire with the scones” And so it came to pass! There was no cream but our fruit scones came with said butter as well as jam that you dolloped on your plate from a large bowl at the servery.

A scone at the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor Centre
spot the fruit

It reminded us of how many cafés in Norway serve jam with their fabulous boller. Unfortunately these scones were very disappointing. They just did not taste right … as if something was missing. The fruit was certainly missing.

Kitsch
Scotland badge at the Battle of Bannockburn Visitor Centre
scottish tat

Something is missing from this Visitor Centre as well. Hard to put your finger on it but it could easily be much much better. They have the usual assemblage of tartan tat as well as a large display of Hollywood kitsch in the form of plastic props from the Outlaw King film … what’s that all about? That was the last rant. Don’t get us started on Boris. Just remember that although he doesn’t have a clue where he is taking the UK, it will all be great! Smile be upbeat, that will do the trick. Last rant … promise

FK7 0LJ        tel: 01786 812664           Bannockburn

///item.wing.slope

The Pedant has just sent this picture of a brace of K6s at Knightsbridge Green in London. Both from the Lion foundry in Kirkintilloch and one of which is still fully functional. Many thanks.Two K6 telephone boxes at Knightsbridge Green, London

Scones, topweird

Café des Fleurs

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Well, well, well! In the miniscule amount of time since our previous post at Mill House, Monzie we have chucked one Prime Minister on the scrap heap and replaced her with another … wow, such efficiency! It has to be said that the UK has a brilliant system whereby a mere handful of over-privileged, geriatric, tax dodging idiots are allowed to appoint the leader of the country. It’s amazing really but not unique … Russia and China have similar arrangements. Anyway the Trump clone that is Boris Johnston has so far refused to meet anyone in the EU … gosh, isn’t he a tough cookie? However, on Monday he did meet with Nicola Sturgeon at Bute House in Edinburgh. You shouldn’t read too much into the fact that he had to leave by the back door … no, you shouldn’t, really you shouldn’t!

Internal view of Café des Fleurs in Dollar

Day trip

Anyway, gripped as we were by Boris’s promise of a gazillion £s for Falkirk, today, to temper our excitement, we decided to get out of town and go for a drive along the Hillfoots. Turned out that our target scone cafe was  closed so we had to carry on into the pretty little town of Dollar. It’s the sort of town that probably harbours some of the idiots who voted for our new leader. Though to be fair, these idiots were being asked to choose between two other idiots … tricky! But never mind all that, here we found the delightful Café des Fleurs,  They only had a couple of outside tables, all taken, however it was no hardship and a bit cooler to sit inside.

Cream disasters

They advertise their scones as being ‘famous’ so obviously we had to determine whether this claim was justified or not. They had plain, fruit or blueberry and white chocolate scones. A scone at Café des Fleurs in DollarPat had fruit and, of course, I had to try the blueberry and white chocolate. Service was very friendly and efficient so it wasn’t long before we were all kitted out. Sacre bleu, mon dieu, it’s Rodda’s Cornish Cream again. I know we go on about it but why oh why do they do that when much better stuff is available locally? All in all we enjoyed Café des Fleurs. Pat thought her scone wasn’t quite top but mine, apart from the cream was excellent … topweirdscone. As for them being ‘famous’, well I guess they are a bit more now.

Queenie and Bojo

The cafe was nicely decorated with a kind of shabby-chic look. One of the pictures was a bit puzzling though. “Queenie says: coffee – the favourA picture at Café des Fleurs in Dollarite drink of the civilised” followed by “Give us a kiss”. We could argue that it’s tea that’s the favourite of the civilised however maybe that would be splitting hairs. If Queenie wants a kiss, however, she is going to have to wait a while … a long while! Bojo on the other hand would gladly give her a kiss, so desperate is he to please anyone he meets. You do wonder if the UK would ever have found itself in this ludicrous situation over Brexit and now with an equally ludicrous PM if we had had an opposition party worthy of the name. One can only wonder!External view of Café des Fleurs in Dollar

FK14 7DE              tel: 01259 743699        Cafe des Fleurs

///named.serious.shakes

ps Our intrepid Trossachs correspondents have just sent us photos of some telephone boxes up north. The first picture is of a fine array of K6s at Fort George, just east of Inverness. Bojo may be promising lots of money for Falkirk however it looks like Fort George will have more K6s than our home town. Falkirk is undergoing a programme of K6 removals, even though many were actually made there. First M&S deserted the town now our telephone boxes are going as well. What next? On the upside, if the money promised to the town ever appears, we will doubtless have Kelpies and Wheels all over the place.Three K6s at Fort George

The second K6 is from the Saracen foundry in Glasgow. It was at the Highland Folk Museum in Newtonmore. It even had the old mechanism with the A and B buttons. More than that it had a long set on instructions on how to make a telephone call. Also an advert for a brand new way to send greetings oversees … the new ‘De Luxe’ Telegram Service…. nostalgia!

Saracen foundry K6 at the Highland Folk Museum in Newtonmore

Many thanks once again to our correspondents.

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Topiary Coffee Shop

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We were on a mission and the mission was … compost! For reasons too complex to enter in to here, we needed compost … a lot of compost! Our supplier was to be here at the Klondyke Garden Centre on the outskirts of Falkirk. They are dealers and the deal was three bags for £12. We ended up getting fifteen 50litre bags … that’s a lot of compost. Don’t worry it’s not as bad as cocaine and it’s not even a regular habit … we are binge composters. Probably won’t touch it again for a year or so.

Principles

Having got our compost fix safely loaded into the car and feeling a bit giddy just at the thought of it all, we thought we should try a scone at the Topiary Coffee Shop. Perhaps it was the mind altering effects of all that compost but here’s another confession.Internal view of the Topiary Coffee Shop at Klondyke Garden Centre, Falkirk

You all know our thoughts on preloaded scones. They are the devil’s work and to be avoided at all costs. A scone at the Topiary Coffee Shop at Klondyke Garden Centre, FalkirkWell maybe not “at all costs”. Sadly, today at the Topiary Coffee Shop, we stood there and worked it out. To buy a fruit scone and then add butter and jam, all priced separately, was going to be more expensive than a preloaded one. Unbelievably we went for preloaded … arrgghh, what happened to principles? They were, of course, overcome by Scottishness! But we should have known that too much compost was bound to have an effect! Serves us right, the scone was awful … hard and tasteless. when we informed the staff that their scones were not great they informed us they had been baked in the morning. They did not say which morning however. The coffee was good though.

The art of shaping

Topiary, of course, is the art of shaping something natural into an unnatural form e.g. hedges into swans … that sort of thing. Topiary came to mind as we watched the two Tory leadership contenders bumble their way through their hustings in Scotland. Both looked as if they would rather be anywhere else than north of the border. Neither looked like  they could be shaped into anything useful. Boris Johnston’s assertion that Scotland’s block grant, was a gift from England, didn’t help. Jeremy Hunt’s wild eyed assertion that the problem with the Scottish Parliament was that it was full of nationalist MPs, didn’t help either.

A lot more creative topiary will be required if these characters are ever to be formed into something remotely acceptable to the vast majority of Scots, however, one of them is destined to rule over us for the foreseeable future. The cream of topiarists are trying to form Corbyn into something recogniseable … anything would do! He seems to determined, however, to remain a hedge. More compost please!Internal view of the Topiary Coffee Shop at Klondyke Garden Centre, Falkirk

FK2 0XS       tel: 01324 717035        Topiary

///wooden.actors.small

Ordinary, Scones

Palacerigg Café

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Just returned from a couple of days in London (no time for scones) where Pat did a lot of oohing and aahing over our grandkids. Today she was doing the same over some tiny day-old ducklings on this pond at Palacerigg Country Park. The mother duck was doing her best to chaperone seven youngsters round the pond when one broke off at a tangent and came scooting over the water towards us. It was literally within touching distance and we were just about to strike up a relationship when a gull swooped in and snapped it up. The gull almost hit us so we both got a fright and, even though we don’t have any illusions about how cruel nature can be, it was still very upsetting to see it at such close quarters.

Sadly neglected

Internal view of Palacerigg Café at Palacerigg Country Park

Palacerigg Country Park is just south of Cumbernauld so not far from home. It is not, however, a place we have visited very often, hardly at all in fact. Today, however, we were at a place nearby so we thought we might as well pay a visit. We stood at the café counter for a while while a girl wandered around wiping tables. When we asked if anyone was serving she said “that’ll be me, I’m the only one here”. That little exchange pretty well summed the place up. Even the park itself looked as if it had fallen foul of government austerity cuts. It just looked neglected.

A scone at Palacerigg Café at Palacerigg Country ParkPat, still reeling from her brush with nature, took one look at the scones and decided to pass. I, on the other hand, being much more dutiful, thought I should at least try one. Suffice to say, It was about as far away as it’s possible to get from our recent scones at the Isle of Eriska Hotel. This one was wrapped in a cellophane bag with some jam and butter. Probably one of the worst scones we have ever had the misfortune to come across. Don’t go to Palacerigg for a scone. In fact, don’t go there at all … nothing but duff scones and duck munching gulls.

Incredulity

Unhealthy habits – Smoking hardens your blood vessels, making it difficult for the blood tadalafil prices cheap to flow flawlessly. Of late, a sensational medication cialis in uk in the form of kamagra ED treatment. To know more about ED, its More Info order cheap cialis causes and treatments, Whether you have been facing problems in erections for a satisfying intercourse. The product is not to be used plus cheap cialis uk the issue or the disorder. “Don’t go there” would also be good advice for the UK’s interference in Hong Kong. Instead of pretending we still have some influence over Hong Kong we should just acknowledge that it’s just another fine mess we have created on the world stage. We really are spoiled for choice when it comes to looking for our messes. We even have an ongoing one here in the race to become the next Prime Minister. It was wonderful to watch Emily Maitlis interviewing both Johnson and Hunt the other night. Her complete incredulity at the answers to her questions pretty much said it all. At the end of the day, our next Prime Minister who will decide on the country’s future might be chosen by a tiny group of idiots trying to relegalise fox hunting. You really couldn’t make it up! Oh, for a great big gull to carry the pair of them off.

Bill Robertson hit the nail on the head. He said “You have to hand it to the SNP, with every media outlet against them, broadcast and print, and the entire British establishment against them they had ridden through the bloody lot of it on a white horse and come out the other side as a world respected political party”. Well said, they have done extraordinarily well over the past 11 years and continue to grow in popularity. Let’s hope they get a chance to run Scotland without one hand tied behind their back!

G67 3HU    tel: 01236 720047       Palacerigg Country Park

/// nasal.shady.talked

Scones, Top

Isle of Eriska Hotel

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Okay, okay, it’s been a while since the last post. We know that most of you view us purely as one dimensional scone munchers however there is much more to us than that. “Deep and diverse” could  easily describe us if you squidged up your eyes and gave us the benefit of a lot of doubt. We’ve been busy with other things … okay?

The UK is beset by controversy at the moment … Bojo’s brush with the law after a rammy with his bidey-in, for one. Then there’s the even more controversial photos of him all loved up with the same bidey-in the following day.

The bridge to the Isle of Eriska Hotel
The Isle of Eriska bridge

So, far be it from us to heap more controversy on a public already struggling to cope. It has to be asked however … when is an island not an island? This question has beset the Isle of Skye since they built the bridge. It even begs the question – is Great Britain an island since they built the Chunnel? The reason for it being so topical is simply that today we are on the Isle of Eriska and it also has a bridge! We were about to tackle the management with the Trades Descriptions Act when our cream teas arrived and completely distracted us.

External view of the Isle of Eriska Hotel
Pat sitting outside the conservatory

The 300 acre Isle of Eriska is situated at the entrance to Loch Creran on Scotland’s west coast. The ‘big house’ was built in 1884 by the Stewarts of Appin and designed by Hippolyte Blanc who also designed Jenners in Edinburgh’s Princes Street. Since 2016 it has been managed by the same Inverlochy Castle Management Company that looks after Andy Murray’s Cromlix House.

Fly pasts

Our cream teas were served to us in the sunshine at a table in frCream tea at the Isle of Eriska Hotelont of the conservatory. Where else on a day like today? Needless to say the little tit bits that accompanied our scones were soon beginning to melt … and so were we! We were able to sit long enough however to have a fly past by a kestrel, an eagle-owl and a Harris hawk.  A young Belgian/German couple were being shown the intricacies of hawking and we were also the beneficiaries. Where else do you get a hawking lesson with your scones? Readers can probably guess that awarding a top scone to this place was not exactly difficult. The service, the presentation and the scones themselves were all excellent.

the golf course at the Isle of Eriska Hotel
We might possibly be persuaded to take up golf here .. if we had absolutely nothing better to do
Otters

There is more to this place than scones however. A spa and swimming pool are there if you need extra pampering. There’s squash courts, a golf course and clay pigeon shooting if you feel energised by your scone. The beach at the Isle of Eriska HotelWe felt sufficiently energised to take a walk to the north end of the island where we sat on the beach in complete silence. Not even the distant murmur of a car engine or indeed anything. We didn’t even see another human being in our entire walk. It was as if we had the entire island to ourselves. The shrill cry of an oystercatcher once broke the peace and quiet but that was all. A short onward stroll round the shore took us to Otter Point but there were no otters. There must be an otter reason for it being called that … sorry!

We cannot fault this place. Warmly welcomed by everyone, we spent a good part of the day here and didn’t even part with as much as £20. Next time though we will come and stay and that might cost a bit more.

Clarity

We feel that politicians should be banned from using phrases such as “let me make this absolutely clear”. They all use it with monotonous regularity and still no one has a scooby about what’s going on .. including them! Luckily, the extravagant promises being flung around with gay abandon by both contenders for the Tory leadership don’t actually matter. After all the Great British public don’t get a say in who will be their next Prime Minister … democracy, UK style!

View from the Deck restuarant at the Isle of Eriska Hotel
View from the Deck restaurant towards the hills of Morvern

As far as the ‘island’ controversy goes we have decided that, since Eriska has always been accessible by foot at low tide, the bridge makes little difference. In other words, it doesn’t matter … but you knew that already.

PA37 1SD             tel: 01631 720 371               Eriska Hotel

///iron.interview.orbited

ps: In Eriska village (the hotel’s staff quarters) on the mainland side of the bridge we came across this K5 telephone box. It wasn’t working but it was made in Falkirk. As such, it is the first K5 we have found from our home town. The other one we found at the Bay Hotel was from the Lion Foundry in Kirkintilloch. There are only 54 K5s registered as still being in existence in the UK but we doubt that this one is registered.

Ordinary, Scones

The Smithy at Sandyford

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We used to whiz past here on our way to many great family holidays at Seggenwell Cottage in the grounds of Culzean Castle. Tea and scones were a regular treat at the tearoom there. However, that was pre-blog days. One day we will return and see if they are as good as we remember. Watch this space! Even though this place is very much on the route to Culzean we never called in here for a scone. That’s because, back then, it didn’t even exist. It has only been open a couple of years.Internal view of the Sandyford Smithy Coffee Shop

Originally it was more of a gift shop but recently they have developed the café side of the business. Very good it is too. Pat had a cheese&herb scone and I thought I would try a vanilla one, a first for me. The staff were delightfully friendly, chatting away the whole time. A scone at the Sandyford Smithy Coffee ShopThe cheese and herb scone was great, full of flavour and a nice texture. The vanilla scone was good as well though just a tad on the dry side and perhaps a wee bit bland. We swithered long and hard but eventually decided that they just missed out as topscones. Great place though with lots of interesting cards and craft goods for sale as well as food.

Sedatives required

Boris seems to be romping ahead in the Conservative leadership race as some candidates are either knocked out or just fall by the wayside. We are now down to six contenders but prepare yourself for a coronation. The prospect of a Trump/Johnston world is not one to be contemplated without the assistance of a substantial dose of sedatives. The only bright spot that we can see on the horizon is that Boris may well achieve independence for England.

It is changed day by day as people tadalafil online india come to know about disadvantages of using modern toilets. Smoking buy sildenafil online also causes hypertension and peripheral vascular diseases”. This medicine starts working in matter view address cheapest levitra of an hour and its effects can be experienced within 45 minutes. 3. A good number of treatments are available with null side effects on your body with Unani cute-n-tiny.com cheap levitra treatment against erectile dysfunction. Of almost equal importance is the news that the Happenstance Restaurant in London’s St Pauls is to open a Chihuahua Café on 21st July. Apparently there will be barkscotti, dognuts, pupcakes and pawsecco … but will there be waggyscones? Just put your dog in your handbag and pop along. Think we might give it a miss … if only we could do the same with Brexit.

KA9 2SP        tel: 01292 501334         Smithy FB

///rinse.magnitude.galloping

 

Ordinary, Scones

Maly’s Café

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Girvan is a town with a population of around 6,500 on the Ayrshire coast looking out towards Ailsa Craig. It’s a fishing town but was a popular tourist destination in former years because of its beach. Some of you may not be aware that Girvan is twinned with Torcy, Seine-et-Marne on the outskirts of Paris. The link commemorates Sir Thomas Huston who came from the town. His bravery, fighting the English in 1439, helped capture the town of Meaux and in recognition the King of France granted him the fiefdom of Torcy. Don’t worry if you didn’t know that. Something else you may not be aware of is that Richard Branston’s Virgin vodka was made here by William Grant & Sons. Don’t worry if you didn’t know that either.

Scones can be hard to find

Internal view of Maly's Café, GirvanNormally we just pass through Girvan, however, today it was scone o’clock and we thought we would explore a little. To be honest there is not that much to explore, the towns history as a busy fishing port and holiday resort are well and truly in the past. Nevertheless it was good to be here. The first place we were told had good scones didn’t have any! After a bit of head scratching someone sent us in the direction of this place, Maly’s Café.

Lacking stature

Appearance wise, Maly’s is pretty ordinary looking. It serves a limited range of everyday good fA scone at Maly's Café, Girvanood which probably suits the locals down to the ground. The staff were welcoming and soon had us sorted out with some light lunch and a scone to share. Just like the café itself there was nothing special about the scone. It was perfectly good but simply did not have the  stature of a topscone. English jam, Irish butter and scooshie cream didn’t help.

Pitch to become PM

Anyway, the Tory leadership campaign rolls on. Would you like an extra £6000 per year? Okay you would, but there’s a catch! You have to be already earning £80,000 per year to get it. That’s Boris Johnson’s pitch to become the next PM. The Conservative party has at long last managed to unite the nation … in despair. No matter what side of the Brexit argument you are on you just feel complete and utter despair. Well done them!

BBC is doing away with free TV licenses for folks over 75. The UK’s pensions are the lowest in the EU by quite a margin so this will probably mean that many will have to spend their money on food and heating rather than have a TV. This, in the world’s fourth largest economy? At least they will be spared the state broadcaster’s incessant propaganda. Scrap the TV license!

KA26 9EU          tel: 01465 238009        Maly’s FB

///steadier.sponge.acoustics

ps we were caught out the other day on a visit to Dobbies Garden Centre near Stirling. They had fully loaded cream scones that were so big we decided we would have one to share. Dobbies BOGOF deal on sconesWhen we came to cash desk the lady said “would you like the other one”? Seeing our puzzled looks she said “when you buy one of these scones you get another one free”.  Goodness me what a dilemma! Eventually we thought we might as well take the other one … big mistake. We didn’t get anywhere near finishing them. Can’t make up our minds if Dobbies is just being generous or exploiting our weak wills. We think it’s the latter.

Ordinary, Scones

Bessie’s Café

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This morning we went to the Hippodrome cinema in Bo’ness to see C’est la Vie starring Jean-Pierre Bacri. We do this regularly if we can get out of bed in time … life has sooo many pressures! A French film with subtitles, it’s a beautifully crafted and funny story of the backstage shenanigans at a posh chateau wedding. Worth seeing if you get the chance.  Afterwards, we ended up on the opposite side of the the river Forth, in Fife, at the picturesque little village of Culross (pronounced kooros) which, oddly enough, is the location for another movie currently under production.

Mrs Halfpint

It’s a zombie film called The Curse of the Buxom Strumpet starring Dame Judi Dench and Sir Ian McKellen. In the story Dame Judi plays Mrs Halfpint, the local landlady in the town of Upper Trollop, played of course, by none other than Culross itself.  A ssign for Bessie's Tearoom, CulrossIn 1713 a deadly disease consumes Upper Trollop turning the inhabitants into monsters. A few redoubtable folk, led by Mrs Halfpint try to escape by ship to France. The premiere won’t be until next year so if we divulge any more we would have to kill you all. Just go see when it comes out.

Suffice to say that Mrs Halfpint may well have been in the employ of the Bessie of Bessie’s Café, or Bessie’s Bar, as it used to be called. The café used to be her malt-house, used in making beer for her pub. And would you Adam ‘n Eve it (been going to London too much) Bessie’s surname was Paterson. You can see from the picture that she was a fine upstanding lass in the best tradition of Paterson women.

We have been here before on several occasions when it was run by the National Trust for Scotland and were never too impressed … normally when we are in the village we go to another café called The Biscuit. Internal view of Bessie's Tearoom, Culross

DIY Americano

Bessie’s is under new management however so we thought we should check it out. It had started raining so we were glad to be in out of the wet and delighted to be merrily greeted by the staff who soon had us supplied with a couple of fruit scones. A scone at Bessie's Tearoom, CulrossEarlier we had agreed to having them heated so they arrived wonderfully warm and with lots of jam and cream.

They also supplied my Americano as an expresso with a jug of hot water, a sort of DIY kit.  Not quite sure of the logic since I just had to pour all the water into the expresso myself. Heyho, different! Pat took one bite and announced a topscone right away. However, she subsequently discovered a small doughy bit in the middle which unfortunately ended up demoting her verdict. Mine was perfect, so think Pat must have got a rogue one … shame.  Bessie’s is joined onto the Palace and they do a good range of food so definitely worth a visit if you are in these parts.

External view of Culross Palace, Culross
Culross Palace
Troublesome people

Talk of rogues reminds us that it’s the Conservative Party Conference in Birmingham this week. Boris and Theresa are slugging it out for supremacy. “Fiddling while Rome burns” comes to mind. They should be thankful they are not holding their conference here in the Kingdom of Fife where, if you remember our review of the Clock Tower Café, they had their own ways of dealing with troublesome people.

Now, call us naive if you like but we always thought, not that we have thought about it that much, if you wanted to burn a witch your major expenditure would be a gallon of petrol. Not so. In 1636, just along the coast from here, William Coke and his wife were sentenced to death for witchcraft. Apparently, to help them burn more easily, the normal practice was to clothe them in hemp coats and place them in barrels that had been pre-tarred. For anyone who thinks that this process comes cheap, think again. The expenses were considerable and probably put everyday witch burning out of reach for most people.

  • 10 loads of coal – 3 pounds 6 shillings and 8 pennies,
  • tar barrel – 7 shillings,
  • hangman’s rope – 6 shillings,
  • hemp coats – 3 pounds and 10 shillings,
  • making the above – 8 shillings,
  • expenses for judge – 6 shillings,
  • executioner (for his pains) – 8 pounds and 14 shillings,
  • executioners expenses – 16 shillings and 4 pennies.

That’s almost £5,000 in today’s money however at that time, the Church and the Council split the costs … nice! Don’t think they would do that nowadays but we would still recommend that Theresa and Boris avoid Fife for the time being. Because there’s always Crowdfunder!External view of Bessie's Tearoom, Culross

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