Tag Archives: Boris Johnson

Simply Sarah’s

31 January 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Okay, hands up, we are as bad as Boris when it comes to telling porkies. Having told readers that Norton House would be our last post from Europe here we are sending another! The difference between our porky pies and Boris’s is that ours are purely accidental. Maybe Boris has had an advance batch of the new Liar Wine being launched tomorrow to celebrate our departure from the EU. We honestly did not think we would be posting another scone so soon but here we are at Simply Sarah’s doing just that.

Closing early

On this rather wet day, we found ourselves in Doune shopping in one of Pat’s favourite shops. On the way into the shop, we suddenly realised there was a café almost next door. We had always thought of Doune as being a one-café (the Buttercup Cafe ) village but had never noticed Simply Sarah’s. It’s tiny, maybe that’s why! It had to be done.

When we say tiny, we mean tiny. Two small tables and a grand total of four seats. Cat swinging is not advised! You might think that this is about as far away as you can get from the Norton House. Well, in many ways it is, however, don’t be so hasty. Sarah is a classically trained chef who used to work in the upmarket Cromlix House Hotel before it was taken over by Andy Murray … and her experience shows.

We arrived at 2.45 and were warmly welcomed by Sarah. She also warned us that she had to close at 3.00 to go and pick her kiddy up from school. Being the only ones in we had our pick of the tables. We used both! There were two scones left which she had baked earlier in the day. Time was tight but we thought there was just enough to relieve her of those scones and still let her get away.

Prejudices

When the scones came, however, she had preloaded them with butter and jam… no cream. Readers are probably weary of hearing us bleat on about preloaded scones and places that don’t have cream. Normally these two things alone would bar them from the topscone category. Here, however, at Simply Sarah’s we have decided to throw all these silly prejudices overboard because the scones were sooo good. Soft in the middle and just the right of crunch on the outside. On the strength of the scones, we bought a couple of Sarah’s homemade pies. It turned out that we had plenty of time for our scones. This hard-working lady was busy shutting up shop as we left so we hope she wasn’t late for pickup.

Leave the light on

In about nine hours from writing this, we will be out of Europe and bobbing about uncontrollably on a sea of uncertainty like some unsavoury piece of flotsam. Okay, maybe not immediately as we still have the 12 month transition period to get through. But still it will be momentous for all the wrong reasons. The world’s media is descending on Scotland to see how this historic event is commemorated. Don’t expect fireworks here. Brexit has beautifully highlighted Scotland’s democratic deficit. People across the globe now understand the country’s plight better than ever before. Scots are proud Europeans but at 11pm tonight we must prepare to have that part of our national identity forcibly removed.

Perhaps all is not lost, however. As British MEPs were leaving the European Parliament last Wednesday there was a rousing chorus of that quintessentially Scottish song, Auld Lang Syne, accompanied by a promise to ‘”leave the light for Scotland” so it can find its way home. The Scottish Parliament has also refused to lower the EU flag as a symbol to those EU citizens living here that they are still welcome.

Who ate all the pies?

Pies, not the porky pies but the steak and the coronation chicken pies we bought at Simply Sarah’s have since been scoffed. Simply Sarah’s pies are simply the best!

FK16 6BY tel: 01786 842304 Simply Sarah’s FB

///anchovies.fastening.origin

ps Thanks go to our Oregon correspondents who have informed us that they make vegan scones from recipes in Realm magazine. while listening to the music of Dougie MacLean.

Scones in Realm magasine — Realm magazine

However, they are concerned that the neighbours might start complaining about the Scots balladeer. Now we just happen to know that their garden in Lebanon is huge so they must have Dougie cranked up pretty loud. Anyway, for us, it conjures up a wonderful image of scones being baked to the strains of Caledonia. They must be full of Scottish goodness! Do any other readers have favourite scone making music? This is ours, you may remember it from a previous post at Sarocha’s Cafe, click here to remind yourself of its brilliance.

Ordinary, Scones

Café in the Kirk

24 January 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Recently, we have come to the conclusion that we could do this blog without ever having to leave our home town of Falkirk. Every time we turn our back, a new cafe or restaurant pops up. Okay, slight exaggeration but only slight. This post from the Café in the Kirk is a typical example.

The Speckled Church

Café in the Kirk has been on the go for a few years, however, not being noted for our religiosity, it just hadn’t registered. Today, however, was the day! Falkirk Trinity Church itself came about fairly recently when three churches merged their congregations … hence the name. A sign of the times, no doubt. Before that, it was the Old Parish Church, a place of worship since the 7th century. Back then it was known as the ‘faw kirk’ or ‘speckled church’ from which the town eventually took its name. Even today, locals tend to pronounce it Fa’kirk. With.soldiers from both the 1298 and the 1746 Battles of Falkirk buried in the graveyard, the church pretty much tells the story of Scotland.

To our great surprise, the Café in the Kirk was very busy, with no available tables. This surprised us in more ways than one. On the way in we had been amply warned by an elderly couple who were sitting outside “the lentil soup isn’t good“, accompanied by knowing glances and shaking heads. In spite of this, we decide to persevere and it wasn’t long before a table became free and we were in … yeah!

Romantic scones

One distinct advantage of coming here was that we felt distinctly young … probably the youngest in the place. The surroundings were fairly utilitarian, brightly lit, oilcloth table coverings, etc. Perhaps not the place to come for a romantic scone. We were attended to by a lovely lady who was dragging a leg. She reminded me of my mother who spent years serving lunches to perfectly able-bodied people while she hobbled around on a walking stick. Needless to say, we cleared our own table then helped our lady deliver our lunches. It seemed like the least we could do. Previously, we had noticed that there were only two scones left. An anxious few minutes were spent waiting to place our order hoping no one else would get them before us. Was that sinful or was that sinful?

Momentary relief

While we were waiting for our lunch to be prepared we noticed this wall poster. Obviously we were heartened by this news and, considering our fraught lives, decided to follow the advice. Joyous relief! However, when we asked for the password for the wifi we were informed: ” for church use only!” Goodness, that didn’t last long. Now we are worried and not enjoying life nearly as much as we did a minute ago. We’re pretty sure God didn’t actually have a hand in this decision, but still?

Although our lunch was great, by the time we got to our scones, expectations were not exactly riding high. However, we were to be confounded yet again … they were delicious! Very fresh and a lovely soft texture throughout. Turned out that our lady with the leg had baked them. If we had been able to get cream this could have been the first topscone of 2020, however, sadly, it was not to be. We are pretty sure that this place is entirely run by volunteers so we are reluctant to be too critical. Overall it’s very good and great value for money.

Celebrate or protest?

Now that the big decision has been taken Brexit barely gets a mention in the news. Attention has been diverted to Trump’s impeachment trial in the US and, of course, the supremely important matter of Harry and Meghan’s future happiness. Yet it is only a matter of days until we finally leave the EU … in Scotland’s case, very much against its will. In fact, the Scottish, Welsh and N.Irish Parliaments have all voted down the EU Withdrawal Bill. Will that make any difference? Not a bit! While Boris tries to determine what sort of celebrations will be used to mark the occasion on the 31st, we suspect that, in other parts of our broken UK, the mood will be more one of betrayal.

The minister of this church, an ardent supporter of Scottish Independence, wrote about the situation in his most recent blog. Yes, good people write blogs as well! He finished with this simple prayer “God, please help us. Amen.” Let’s hope He is listening!

FK1 1JN tel: 01324 611017 Café in the Kirk

///over.sector.news

ps Many thanks to The Laird who notified us of a Falkirk made K6 proudly standing outside the Jamaica Inn on Bodmin Moor in Cornwall. Picture courtesy of haunted rooms.co.uk

K6 outside the Jamaica Inn — Jamaica Inn made famous by Daphne du Maurier novel by the same name

pps Thanks also to one of our Kiwi correspondents for this pic of her home-baked blueberry and banana muffins. Okay, not scones but they do look delicious. Maybe we need to broaden our scope and visit the gumdiggers of Dargaville?

Ordinary, Scones

The Lobster Pot

18 December 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 6 Comments

Although Blackness is not far from home we haven’t visited much in the past ten years. Why? Because the pub closed down and it’s a dead end road so there was nowhere to go when you got here. You could go for a walk, visit the castle but that was about all. It was tragic because Blackness itself is lovely with a nice beach and a nice castle but it needed the pub.

Blackness Castle on a December day — Blackness Castle in December

However, our doughty Trossachs correspondents tipped us off that the pub had reopened and was worth a visit. And they weren’t wrong.

A brisk day

First though a little bit about the castle that has stood here for over 500 years. Sometimes known as the Ship That Never Sailed because, from the seaward side it looks like a great battleship. When German submarine U-21 ventured up the River Forth in 1914 that’s what they thought they saw when they raised their periscope. They decided to venture no further. Having walked along to the castle on what might be best described as a brisk day, we were in need of sustenance.

When you enter the Lobster Pot the sign above the door “We’re All Doomed” gives a hint of what’s to follow. The interior is lovely and warm with a very welcome open fire at one end. It is a bar/restaurant which also incorporates “The Wee Shop”. You can buy your loaf, your cornflakes, your pint and have a meal all in the same place … brilliant! There is a veritable cornucopia of paraphernalia virtually everywhere you look. On the ceiling directly above our table was this lifebelt. In the unlikely event of us ever going on a cruise, we want two of these please.

Who needs cream?

The Lobster Pot has only been open since August and it must be a welcome return for the village. All the staff were very friendly and soon had us sorted with some lunch and a couple of fruit scones. Initially they said that cream was no problem but later said that it was. Not to worry butter and jam would do just fine … we can rough it!

The scones and tea arrived after a perfect lunch. Unfortunately they did not live up to the standards we had already come to expect of the place. Enjoyable enough but just a tad on the stodgy side. The jam was from England and the butter from Ireland … what can we say? Nevertheless, the Lobster Pot is an excellent pub and we will be visiting Blackness much more often as a result. We hope it goes from strength to strength.

When Robert Burns was visiting the area in 1787 he had been obliged to leave nearby Bo’ness after calling it “That dirty ugly place Barrowstounnes” . He sought refuge here and was duly impressed because he wrote this poem “Blackness Is Braw” (Blackness is Superduper). Perhaps it was the ladies bathing in the mineral rich sediment of Blackness Bay (they still do it) that impressed him most. He always had an eye for the ladies after all!

This vintage photo of Blackness fishermen in 1919 was hanging on the wall. Amongst them there’s Ewan ‘Muffy’ McLachlan, George ‘Rasher’ Redmond, ‘Raving Ross’ Rintoul, ‘Mad Jack’ Melville and ‘Dark Drew’ Storer. It could easily be mistaken for a modern day picture of Boris’s new Conservative cabinet. We think, however, that we would rather be governed by ‘Mad Jack’ and his crew.

Help, please!

Before we leave the Lobster Pot perhaps you could help us with this? Close to where we were seated was this little boxed diorama. As you will be aware a diorama is a three-dimensional scene used to creatively express learning. However, we were stumped by this. What were we supposed to learn? It contains a fisherman pointing at a cooked lobster on top of a creel, five bottles of Guinness, a terrier dog wearing wellington boots and a large snake wound around a naked lady. There is some deep meaning here but we are perplexed. Perhaps some readers may have a greater insight?

No more scones until 2020 so while you are pondering naked ladies, snakes and lobsters may we take this opportunity to wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy and healthy New Year. Many thanks for your indulgence during the past year.

EH49 7NL tel: 01506 830086 Lobster Pot

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Ordinary, Scones

The Park Hotel

13 December 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Oh dear, it’s Friday the 13th. And it’s the day after the night before! Everyone has awoken to a new reality.

The lemmings of England have voted on the promise of “Get Brexit Done”, as if it is all going to be done and dusted in a few months. Yet another Boris lie … it will take years. Nevertheless, as we speak, they are all rushing headlong towards the white cliffs of Dover wheeeeeeh! Without even a hint of shame, Jeremy Corbyn has said that he will not lead the party into the next election, completely overlooking the fact that he totally failed to lead them into this one. It’s not so much that the Torys won the election but that Labour threw it away.

Tug of War

In Scotland, the Labour party has joined Hebridean sheep in the ‘rare breeds’ category. Unbelievable when you think of the party’s historical strength in this part of the UK. The election, however, has amply demonstrated that the UK is indeed made up of two different countries each pulling in opposite directions. Will the SNP’s resounding success make any difference? We doubt it. Other than self interest, Boris & Co have little or no interest in Scotland. Perhaps the best news is that the duplicitous DUP have been diminished, leaving N.Ireland with a majority of nationalist MPs. The future of the UK has never seemed as uncertain as it is today.

Taking in all this reality is tough … too much reality! A delicious scone might help draw a veil over some of the election’s more unsavoury aspects. Our attention had been drawn to a cafe, not far from home, that we were totally unaware of. When we got there, however, it was closed! Some special event apparently … boo!

No normal scones

So, downhearted and heading for home, we passed this place, the Park Hotel. We thought it might be worth a try. One of our Canadian nieces used to work here many years ago so it has a special wee place in our hearts. It’s a bit weird really because it is probably the nearest eatery to our house yet we haven’t been in it for years. You can see from the title picture that it is hardly a thing of beauty … a box for people to sleep in. Nice enough inside though. It’s part of the Hannigan Hotel Group that owns four hotels, three of them in Falkirk. What had started as a dismal kind of day turned out to be the complete opposite. When we asked if we could have tea and scones they said “Yes, of course, we don’t normally do scones“. Eh?

The service was super friendly and super fast. Barely three minutes had elapsed between placing our order for two cream teas and we had them in front of us. The scones came with a selection of jams, a huge bowl of cream and a large pot of tea. What more could you want on Friday 13th?

Surprise

Now, we would have really liked to have awarded a topscone. Lots of things were right – the service, the cream, the jams, the tea were all good. On top of that, when we went to pay, the grand total was £5.50. When we queried the bill they said that because they “don’t normally do scones” they only charged us £1 for the two cream teas … incredible! Unfortunately, the scones, although very good with plenty of fruit, were just slightly doughy and not quite up to our topscone standards … shame!

We never did figure out why they “don’t normally do scones” so we don’t expect to be so lucky next time. The Hannigan Hotels’ strap line is “investing in Falkirk” so more power to their elbow.

The marble Peking lions at Dollar Park — 10ft tall marble lions. The ball rolls around freely in the mouth

Wonderment

Across the road from the Park Hotel lies the entrance to Dollar Park. It is guarded by two large marble lions from Peking gifted by local boy, Robert Dollar, in 1922. As youngsters we use to be fascinated by how those cunning Chinese had managed to carve these lions with perfect spheroid marble balls in their mouths. We are still fascinated! Another source of childhood wonderment was the kaleidoscope. Invented by Jedburgh man, David Brewster, in 1871. Kalaeidoscopes are also still fascinating. They really were very clever back in those days. Lets hope that Bojo and his mates are half as clever.

FK1 5RY tel: 01324 628331 Park Lodge Hotel

///eruptions.shunning.undivided

ps: As if leaving the EU wasn’t bad enough, we received notification from our Kiwi correspondents that they had found a plum pie that they felt was better than any of our scones. The nerve! Apples and pears! However we just happen to know that The Office café in Maungatapere also does excellent scones. If any readers happen to find themselves in Maungatapere, pop into the Office and try both. Let us know which is best … scone or the pie?

Ordinary, Scones

Caffe Carlucci

9 December 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Today we are back in the Edinburgh, Athens of the North. That title is perfectly understandable when you look around – it is a beautiful city. A couple of hundred years ago, however, it wasn’t quite as civilised as it appears now. For example, one of the punishments for persistent miscreants was for them to be placed in the stocks and one of their ears nailed to the wood. The only means of escape was to tear their own ear off the nail … arrggh! The damaged ear then served as a permanent signal to others that that individual was thoroughly untrustworthy – hence the term ‘earmarked’. Has anyone seen Boris Johnson’s ears recently? We think we now know why he wears his hair the way he does. Of course, things have improved since these days, however, judging by the film we went to see, perhaps, not that much.

Uplifted!

We are at the Cameo Picturehouse again. This time to see Sorry We Missed You, a movie by Ken Loach. An excellent film but not an easy watch. One of those films where everyone leaves the cinema in complete silence. A graphic illustration of what years of Tory rule has done to this country and the hard working people at the bottom of the heap trying to raise their families. Many just get into an endless cycle of debt and are driven into what’s now known as ‘working poverty’. Should be compulsory viewing for anyone thinking of voting Conservative on Thursday. As you can imagine, we left the cinema in silence as well. Walking out of the cinema though we spied what looked like a scone emporium directly opposite the cinema … Caffe Carlucci! Our spirits lifted – we felt wind beneath our wings once again!

Frozen

Not that much wind, however – just enough to get us over the street! Caffe Carlucci is a nice enough place in a thoroughly unspectacular sort of way. There seemed to be only a solitary member of staff and he didn’t seem that pleased about it. We had a light snack which was excellent and then a fruit scone. We didn’t choose a fruit scone, that’s all they had. Both scones came in a rather peculiar elongated shape and were accompanied by prepackaged butter and jam none of which came from anywhere near Edinburgh. The butter was frozen to a degree that rendered it completely useless. There wasn’t any cream so just scone and jam for us. All in all not a bad place but definitely not the greatest scone experience.

Only a couple of days to go before ‘E’ Day on the 12th. Mild apologies to readers outside the UK who have little interest in Britain’s politics. ‘Mild’ because they have not had to endure the last three months of electioneering. It has been ghastly! Parties falling over themselves to promise us the earth, the moon and the stars! We have already used our postal vote, so we’re done. Of course we voted correctly and hope that everyone else does the same. Where on earth will we be on Friday? Will Boris show his ears at last?

EH3 9JP tel: 0131 466 3188 Carlucci

///ropes.curve.spots

ps This is what happens when your order involving a potato scone and a sausage roll gets misheard by the waiter. You get a scone with link sausage! It’s a new one on us. Definitely fits the ‘weird’ category. And no cream or jam by the look of it?? Unfortunately we cannot remember who sent this in but thanks, whoever you are.

pps our correspondents from, jam first, Devon, have sent us a photo of a mixture of Saracen and Carron K6s in Truro in, cream first, Cornwall

Fabulously, they also found these Falkirk made cannons while in Paraty in Brazil but not on the same outing … obviously!

Many thanks

Scones, Top

Coffee Bothy – revisited

6 December 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

In the late 16th century, Lady Doune of Doune Castle, otherwise known as Margaret Campbell, must have been a formidable woman indeed. Her son was known as the Bonnie Earl of Moray because of his good looks, athleticism, skill on the dance floor and his love of scones. Haven’t been able to verify this last claim but we just think he would have been an avid sconey. However, these attributes ended up making him an enemy of King James VI whose Queen, Anne of Denmark, was paying too much attention to the Bonnie Earl. Unfortunately the King was a Boris-like knock-kneed slobbering individual with none of the charms of the young Earl. Eventually, James got the Earl of Huntly, otherwise known as the Cock o’ the North, to take “whatever measures necessary” against Moray.

Best laid plans

In 1592, Huntly contrived to burn Moray to death by setting fire to another of Moray’s country seats at Donibristle in Fife. Moray fled with his head on fire but was struck down by Huntly’s men. Huntly drew his dirk and slashed Moray across the face. The Bonnie Earl’s last words were “You, Huntly – you have spoiled a better face than your own!”. Ouch! Definitely a sconey!

Now this may sound a bit like modern day politics. Unbelievably, Huntly, the King and everyone else associated with the dastardly deed denied all knowledge. Sound familiar? We now think that the Duke of York’s current memory problems may actually be a hereditary affliction affecting all aristocracy. No doubt due to centuries of in-breeding! It’s just a thought but maybe we should cut him some slack … or maybe not?

Mothers

Moray’s mum, Lady Doune wasn’t having any of it and sought to expose all concerned. She had her son’s naked, stabbed and mutilated body put on display in the Kirk of Leith. A painting of the body was made for exhibition. She had his blood stained shirt paraded through the streets of Edinburgh. The outrage was such that the King had to go into hiding for a while in Glasgow and Huntly was imprisoned at Blackness Castle. That’s mothers for you.

Internal view of the Coffee Bothy atDeanston Distillery, Doune

Anyway, all this is simply to tell you that today we are in Doune visiting one of Pat’s favourite shops. After a couple of hours of fairly intensive retail therapy, however, we were both in dire need of a scone. So on this -4ºC frosty day we decided to head a few hundred yards along the River Teith to the café at Deanston Distillery. Almost three years since we were last at the Coffee Bothy. so it was due a quality check anyway.

External view of Deanston Distillery, Doune

The last time we were here the scones came as a brace and that is still the case.

A scone at the Coffee Bothy at Deanston Distillery, Doune

They are quite small but if you want to try two different types, this is the answer. Unfortunately, on this occasion they only had fruit left so that wasn’t an option. Plenty of jam and whipped cream as well so the Coffee Bothy did not disappoint second time around. Just a smidgen off topscones but very enjoyable nevertheless.

You never know the minute

In our last post about the Coffee Bothy we were lamenting the fact that Deanston distillery (about 20 miles from Falkirk) had become the closest to home. It used to be Rosebank distillery (a few hundred yards away) but it closed in 1993. It had produced Scotland’s most light and floral whisky and came to define Lowland whiskies in general. Since then, however, it has been announced that Rosebank is to be completely renovated and will reopen in the next year or so. Not only that, a brand new Falkirk distillery, imaginatively called the Falkirk Distillery, is in the process of being built at the other end of the town and will also be opening within a few months.

Bottle of whisky at Deanston Distillery, Doune

Now, although this news may not excite all sconeys please remember that both distilleries will undoubtedly feature a coffee shop. Excited now? Watch this space.

For the first time in its history, the BBC has resorted to public challenges to try and get the Prime Minister to be interviewed by Andrew Neil like all the other party leaders. No success so far but don’t be surprised if Neil’s home suddenly goes on fire with him in it.

FK16 6AG tel: 01786 843013 Coffee Bothy TA

///kneeled.blotches.fooling

Ordinary, Scones

Lochside Café

26 November 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

In our last post we were wandering round the loch at Beecraigs. Today we are wandering around Linlithgow loch. Now, we are aware that this may give the totally false impression that we spend our lives wandering around lochs. You will just have to take our word for it but we do wander around other things as well. That said, it is quite often lochs. They are lovely walks and we are fortunate to have them so close to home. So why not?

Novembert view of Linlithgow Palace — A late November view of Linlithgow Palace

Today it is cold and overcast, it’s late November after all! However, that doesn’t make the walk unpleasant. Quite the contrary, it’s bracing! Linlithgow has loads of pubs and cafés so one of the added attractions of this walk is the knowledge that you can always find somewhere for après-promenade refreshments. We’ve reported on many of these in the past – So Strawberry, Mason Belles, Fenwicks, the Star & Garter and more. This time it was a bit different. We finished our walk at the west end of the town near the Black Bitch pub (if you want know why it’s called the Black Bitch look at our post on Brodies Vintage Tearoom) instead of the east end. Making our way back into town we came across the, previously unknown to us, Lochside Café.

Daring-do

It’s not a place that jumps out at you … nothing to look at from the outside that’s for sure! Inside though, it’s pleasant enough though nothing much to distinguish it from many other small cafés. Service was friendly though not what we would call ‘happy’. Lunch was good and there was a choice of plain, fruit or lemon and white chocolate scones. Our dedication to reporting on the more exotic scone failed us on this occasion as we opted for, run of the mill, fruit. We must have lost our sense of daring-do somewhere down by the loch! And, of course, we shouldn’t allow our readers, with their insatiable appetite for exotic scones, to dictate our decisions. So there! As it happens the fruit scones were a bit like the whole place, unremarkable! We enjoyed it and there was plenty of jam and cream but no topscone unfortunately. Don’t let the external appearance of this place put you off. As cafés go it’s not at all bad.

Dictating

At the moment, the goings on in Hong Kong are fascinating. As our General Election rumbles on in a thoroughly unedifying fashion the young people of Hong Kong are risking everything so they can have what we take for granted. A skeptic might think that, if they look closely at what we have, they might think again. We feel, however, that what they achieved yesterday, when the results of their District Council elections were announced, should remind us of how precious our democracy really is. Even if we sometimes look on it with a very jaundiced eye. Hong Kong has no democracy. It is dictated to by a much larger single party state in China. Scotland knows exactly how Hong Kong feels. The only difference is … we have democracy!

Today, the UN is calling for drastic cuts in greenhouse gases but how is the UK supposed to conform? Most of the offending emissions emanate directly from our very own Prime Minister?

EH49 7HN tel: 01506 848599 Lochside FB

///putts.shared.household

Ordinary, Scones, weird

Hideaway Cafe at Beecraigs

22 November 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

There has been a lot of migration from central and eastern Europe. Thousands of people coming to the UK in what seems to be an totally uncontrolled manner. You may think we are talking about relatively recent times but we’re not. We’re talking about 4,500 years ago. There was mass migration back then when thousands of what we now know as Beaker People moved west. They were called Beakers because they were always buried with their rather elegant bell-shaped clay drinking vessels. When they reached Scotland some of them settled around Cairnpapple Hill where there is still a very well preserved Beaker burial chamber. It is only a stones throw from where we are today at the Hideaway Café at Beecraigs Country Park.

Descendants

So, although folk go on endlessly about mass migrations into Britain, it is absolutely nothing new. In fact, when it comes down to it, hardly any of us are from here originally. We are all migrants in one form or another. Judging by our fondness for using drinking vessels, Pat and I may even be direct descendants of the Beaker people. At the end of the day, as they say here in Scotland – we’re a’ Jock Tamson’s Bairns.

Photo of Beecraigs loch in late November — Beecraigs loch

We had decided to take a walk round the loch at Beecraigs. It used to be regular occurrence when the kids were small but we haven’t been back for many years. The loch is actually a reservoir built by German Prisoners of War during WW1. Apparently the German work ethic was nothing like it is nowadays. Work progressed at a snail’s pace until it had to be finished off in 1918 by conscientious objectors. It’s a beautiful walk, however, and it was really nice to relive memories from the past. The walk seemed much shorter than we recalled. Then we remembered, this time we weren’t trying to herd feral children. We didn’t have to stop and investigate every stick and toadstool along the way.

View from Beecraigs Country Park — View from Beecraigs with the Forth bridges in the distance

One of these children actually got married here several years ago and, with its expansive views, it provided a wonderful setting. No weddings today though, it has all changed. The space previously used for weddings is now filled with displays for the visitor centre explaining the local flora and fauna. However, now they have the Hideaway Café … and scones!

Buzzing

The only problem was that the Hideaway was not living up to its name. It had been found and was so busy we couldn’t get in. However, they gave us a pager and told us to go off and wander around the exhibits and when a table became available they would buzz us … brilliant. It worked! Within ten minutes we had our table and were able to order some lunch and a banana and white chocolate scone to share. They had plain and fruit scones however we always feel that we should report on the exotica we come across so that readers can continue to expand their knowledge base.

Everything was good, the service was happy and efficient, the food was fine and even the scone was pleasant enough. No topscone unfortunately. Don’t be put off by banana and white chocolate scones … but don’t deliberately seek them out either. Fruit or plain is a better bet.

Flashbacks

Memories are funny things. We have many happy memories of this place. Our family wedding event was superb but it is difficult to imagine it happening now that the venue has undergone so many changes. Yet we still got little flashbacks of that day as we looked around. Memories can play tricks! Apparently the Queen is claiming that the Duke of York is her son however he has no recollection of ever having met her. Boris doesn’t remember ever telling a lie for goodness sake! That’s how tricky it can get!

EH49 6PL tel: 01506 847111 Hideaway Beecraigs

///corrects.blushed.photocopy

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Morrisons Café

31 October 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Back to reality. Our previous post from the Scotch Tea House on the French Riviera seems like a distant fond memory as now we are in a supermarket in Falkirk … Morrisons Café to be precise. A bit of a come down. There is a perfectly logical explanation however.

You may remember that last year when we were at the Scotsman Grand Café we had a mini five year old person with us. She kept us amused with her weird and wonderful observations through all the problems we were having just ordering a scone. This time, on our return from France, we picked her up in London and brought her and her wee sister back to Scotland with us. Of course, she is six now and and her sister is four. Oh joy! Between them they have enough energy to light up Blackpool!

Scary!

As it’s Halloween, we needed some appropriate costumes so that we could go guising and scare the living daylights out of our friends and neighbours. Hence we found ourselves here in Morrisons buying two spider witch outfits … really scary! The real horror of Halloween is, of course, that Brexit hasn’t happened and Boris Johnson hasn’t died in a ditch as he promised. Guess we can just add that to his ever lengthening string of broken promises. It really is all just a game for these guys!

Anyway, having got suitably kitted out we decided to go for a cuppa and some lunch in the café. It’s probably fairly typical of supermarket cafés though maybe slightly better than some others we have been in. What it lacks in ambience it makes up for with low prices and edible food. We were surprised to find scones so, of course, they had to be sampled. We shouldn’t really have preconceived ideas about places but suffice to say, we do. Expectations were not exactly soaring. They came with lots of butter and jam, however, cream was too much of an ask. The scones themselves were actually quite nice … nice texture, lots of fruit and only £1 each. Even at this price, however, a topscone was also too much of an ask.
This supermarket is built on a site once occupied by Brockville Park, the stadium of Falkirk FC. It’s biggest ever attendance was 23,100 in 1953 for a match against Celtic. In 2004 the football club moved to a new site on the outskirts of the town. For some, however, this is still hallowed ground. For others, of course, Morrisons seems like a much better use of the space.

Eating pancakes?

We know it’s Halloween but horror of horrors, we are going to have a General Election on 12th December … hurrah! Who knows what tall stories we will be told in the coming weeks. After years of austerity there will probably be more money than we can possibly imagine to spend on pretty much anything we want. Life will be good! Everything in the garden will be rosy. Doubtless, however, on December 13th that will all change. Boris will doubtless win but that will say more about the opposition than anything else.Meanwhile we have our own somewhat smaller horror show … we must go and scare the neighbours before returning to dook for apples and try to eat pancakes covered in treacle hanging from a string with our hands tied behind our backs. What? It’s just as senseless as having a General Election but way more fun.

FK2 7EU tel: 01324 639321 M orrisons

///insect.both.nasal

english, Scones, Uncategorized

Café 66

22 October 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

We are joining the swallows and migrating south. Not because we are fed up with Brexit (although you can’t get any more fed up than us) but to visit my sister in Nice. Before that, however, we have a stop over in the Big Smoke! As we have often found before, finding a scone in London can be surprisingly difficult. There are endless cafés of European, Asian or even US origin but traditional English tea rooms can be few and far between.

On this occasion it led us to ask the question …. when is a scone not a scone? The answer can be found here in Café 66 in London’s SW13. It is a relatively new kid on the block and certainly wasn’t here the last time we were in town. Of course, it had to be investigated. It is what we would call ‘bijou’ … small but perfectly formed. It is operated by a delightful mother and daughter team from Poland. They could not have made us more welcome.

A spot of lunch was called for, however, as you all know by now, we like to finish things off with a scone. “Do you have scones?” we asked. “What are you saying?” It wasn’t the Scottish accent it was simply that the young girl didn’t know. “Scones. they are like a little cakes that you eat with jam and cream.” we persevered. “Eh?” Thankfully at this point mum came to the rescue “Oh, I know what scones are – in this country you have them in the afternoon with tea.” “Yes”, we exclaimed. No, we don’t have any scones“.

Energy balls

With our hopes dashed on the jagged rocks of false expectation, we looked around and had to admit that there were lots of other delicious looking alternatives. In the absence of scones, however, we decided to go for one of their ‘Energy Balls’. They are small balls of nuts and fruit bound together with syrup and honey. Perhaps it was because they reminded us of the Lithuanian sco nes our Trossachs correspondents had sent from Vilnius back in 2016. They were really nice – lovely texture and sweet but not cloyingly so. We did feel like we had had an energy boost. So the answer to the question is that a scone is not a scone when it’s a Polish energy ball. No, we wouldn’t have got it right either.

As we were leaving we asked mum and daughter how they felt about only having about a week left before having to return to Poland. Their puzzled look quickly dissolved into laughter when they realised what we meant. However, it was quickly followed by looks of alarm and panic. “We are going to have to eat all this food very quickly” they joked, pointing at the display cases. Perhaps not, though.

Embarrasing

The first Saturday sitting of Westminster since the Falklands War, resulted in another defeat for Boris at the hands of his own colleagues. He followed it up with an unsigned letter to the EU asking for an extension. When politics is reduced to this school boy prank level it is embarrassing. Especially when you are in the presence of two ladies who are working incredibly hard to better themselves and better the country they now live in.

The true irony is that the UK’s future may eventually be decided by the DUP. A handful of self serving politicians from N. Ireland who don’t even represent the views of the people of N Ireland. It just gets weirder and weirder. Another energy ball please!

As we left Café 66, mum produced a Mary Berry cookbook, so who knows … next time there may be scones? Now we must continue our migration south.

SW13 0PZ tel: 020 8241 1590 Cafe66

///dash.belt.puns

Closing early

Prejudices

Leave the light on

Who ate all the pies?

The Speckled Church

Romantic scones

Momentary relief

Celebrate or protest?

A brisk day

Who needs cream?

Help, please!

Tug of War

No normal scones

Surprise

Wonderment

Uplifted!

Frozen

Best laid plans

Mothers

You never know the minute

Daring-do

Dictating

Descendants

Buzzing

Flashbacks

Scary!

Eating pancakes?

Energy balls

Embarrasing

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics