Tag Archives: Boris Johnson

Scones, topweird

Bruce Arms

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Well here we are, deep in 2024 already. We hope it’s going to be a good one for everyone. With fast fading memories of Christmas dinner – turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce etc, what better way to celebrate our first scone of the year than with a cranberry one. Yes, a cranberry scone! Cranberries are just one of the many weird and wonderful things that appear once a year along with trees in your living room and puddings you set fire to. The Bruce Arms, here in Limekilns, clearly had a lot left over because there was only plain or cranberry scones on offer.

Sign for the Bruce Arms in LimekilnsIn previous visits to Limekilns we have visited the Sundial Cafe and Coorie By The Coast, but never here. When we walked in the barmaid asked “are you in for lunch?” We said “no, just wondering if you could give us coffee and a cranberry scone?” As she stood behind  a Ferrero Roche style pyramid of cranberry scones beside the large barista style coffee machine, she answered  with a curious smile “maybe!” When we first arrived at the Bruce Arms it felt a bit lacking in atmosphere but now we had a funny feeling this visit might be a bit different. And so it was!

Assumptions

We assumed that the Bruce Arms would have taken its name from Scotland’s famous King and all round good guy, Robert the Bruce. Turns out not to be the case. It’s named after one Thomas Bruce-Brudenell, Earl of Ailesbury whose family were landowners around here in the 17th century. His main contribution during his earthly existence seems to have been naming things after himself. There’s another Bruce Arms in Tanfield on another estate he owned not far from Newcastle in the north of England. Internal view of the Bruce Arms in Limekilns

Living in a small village

Anyway, Tracy the barmaid soon had us sorted with everything. There wasn’t any cream but our scone came with plenty butter. She’d also given us raspberry jam because that was her favourite.  As we sat there it soon became clear that Tracy knew everyone who came in. Not only that she also knew everything about them. We were soon very well acquainted with all their ailments as well as their next hospital and doctor appointments … fascinating! We weren’t eavesdropping, we just couldn’t help but hear! On the plus side there was no talk of deaths. And also, a pregnancy in the village, by all accounts, was going well.

Victorian photo of the Bruce Arms in Limekilns
Old Victorian photo of the Bruce Arms …. it hasn’t changed much!

Eventually, conversation got round to the ongoing saga that is the Post Office scandal. Although it’s been going on for almost thirty years it has only recently been brought to the forefront by a television drama “Mr Bates vs the Post Office”. Hundreds of Postmasters had their lives ruined, some jailed, by what turned out to be nothing more than a software error. The Post Office is wholly owned by the government so since the screening politicians have been falling over themselves to explain why they didn’t realise what was happening at the time. A scandal in itself. Everyone at the Bruce Arms thought it was an absolute disgrace. Eventually, however, we were asked for our opinion. 

A first

Suffice to say, Tracy ended up sitting at our table interrogating us about cranberry scones and pretty much everything else. We were able to tell her that the scones were great, much better than expected and might even have been topscones had there been cream and the jam and butter had not been prepackaged. Coffee was very good as well. In all our years doing this blog, this is the first cranberry scone we have ever come across. In such circumstances we decided to give it a topweird scone award. Well done the Bruce Arms.

Limekilns at Charlestown
The old disused lime kilns that give the village its name
Did you know?
Chalk comes from limestone and chickens fed on a diet that includes chalk lay hard eggs? Just the shells … you would still have to boil them for at least five minutes if you want them hard all the way through! Honestly, the things you learn on allaboutthescones.com!
 
Estonian Navy ship
The Bruce Arms ,the best pub in Britain. according to the Estonian Navy? Who are we to argue with the Estonian Navy
It was an absolute pleasure to chat to Tracy. We learned loads about the village, in the hour or so we were there, without asking a single question.  Just lovely open and honest people and we felt a real sense of community. It’s lovely to come on a place where everyone looks out for everyone else … we don’t see enough of that these days. We left feeling refreshed and trying to assimilate all our new found Limekilns knowledge.
Things to look forward to in 2024
  • Proper justice and compensation for all the wronged Postmasters. Some years ago I and a group of friends sailed to St Kilda. As soon as we landed the warden told us we should leave because a big storm was coming and this far out in the Atlantic was not a good place to be. One thing we had to do, however, was send a postcard home because of the unique franking mark you got at the Post Office. The Post Office is tiny. I bought a hat, a postcard and a stamp. Simple mental arithmetic could have totalled the cost in seconds but the old Postmaster insisted on writing it down on a piece of paper to add it all up. By the time he did that and then checked it twice the storm was imminent. But no software glitches here! 
  • A reduction in the influence of populist politicians like Trump and Johnson. To be a populist politician you need merely cater to the lowest denomination in your following. And every now and again throw them some red meat. Usually in the form of lies.
  • South Africa taking Israel to the International Criminal Court in The Hague charged with genocide. It’s odd that it has fallen to `South Africa to do this after all their struggles with apartheid. When we think of apartheid we think of Glasgow  in 1968. They renamed St George’s Place, Nelson Mandela Place. The South African embassy was housed there. All correspondence to the embassy then had to be addressed with the name of their most famous prisoner … genius!
  • More scones.Stags head hatstand at the Bruce Arms in Limekilns
 

KY11 3HL       tel: 01383 872259          Bruce Arms

///spared.surveyors.melon

Scones, Top

Kinloch Lodge

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Snow after leaving CluanieAfter leaving Ballachulish we ventured on towards the Isle of Skye. It was nice to see snow on the tops of some of the hills, our first snows of the year. However, it never occurred to us that in another half hour the road would be white and we would be driving through a blizzard.  Okay, the road at this point was 1300 feet above sea level and as soon as we dropped some height it was fine again. Nevertheless, snow was unexpected and quite exciting.

Stokers from down under

We had aimed to arrive at our destination, Kinloch Lodge, in early afternoon because they had offered tea and scones on arrival. It had to be early afternoon so that we had an appetite for dinner in the evening. These are the sort of decisions we are forced to make these days! True to their word, before we had even seen our room, we were ushered into one of the drawing rooms and sat in front of a lovely log fire.

Originally built in 1676 as a farmhouse, all the public rooms have log fires expertly managed by the staff. Amazingly, quite a few of the staff hailed from the Gold Coast of Australia. Not quite sure how they found their way here but they all seemed to be thoroughly enjoying their time on Skye.Internal view of Kinloch Lodge drawing room

One of our daughters was here at Kinloch with her family a couple of years ago and has heaped praise on it ever since. We were beginning to see why!

The scones arrived beautifully presented complete with sparkling white linen napkins. Scones at Kinloch LodgeJust as you might expect in a place like this. And just as you might expect they were topscones. Perfect size, lovely and warm and complete with lots of jam and cream. What was not to like? In our younger days on Skye we normally camped  and have experienced everything Skye weather could throw at us. Now, many years later it was great to be back in such comfortable surroundings.  We’re getting soft!

View from Kinloch Lodge
From Kinloch over Loch na Dal and the Sound of Sleat towards the hills of Knoydart

Clans

My lineage makes me feel right at home here. My middle name is MacDonald and my mother’s name was McKinnon, both good Skye names. Isabella MacDonald, daughter of Godfrey Macdonald, the 35th High Chief of his clan runs Kinloch today, She can trace her family back to the 9th century. When her her parents set up Kinloch in 1972 their ambition was to create  a place that had everything they could possibly want in a hotel: comfy beds, endless hot water, warm and attentive service and, above all, delicious food. Mission accomplished we would say.

Dining room of Kinloch Lodge dining room
Lots of MacDonald family portraits hanging in the dining room

To top off clan connections Isabella is very ably assisted by the delightful Rachel McKinnon. My brother once visited a graveyard on the Waternish peninsula on Skye to try and shed more light on our mother’s side of the family. All for nothing, however, lots of headstones but almost all were McKinnon.

The MacDonald boys Sir James Macdonald 1741–66 and Sir Alexander Macdonald 1744/45–95 wearing four different tartans when wearing tartan was forbidden. Apparently the MacDonalds were above any law imposed by the English Crown! Picture by William Mosman

Wasn’t it obvious?

At the ongoing COVID enquiry  Simon Case, Head of the Civil Service was giving evidence. He said of Boris Johnson’s government that he had “never seen a bunch of people less well-equipped to run a country“. Surely we all knew that?

Yesterday saw the state opening of Parliament. Anyone tuning in from abroad must have thought they had accidentally hit a Disney channel. That degree of pomp looks totally ridiculous and inappropriate for a country heading towards recession. The spectacle of the King in fancy dress reading out statements even he doesn’t believe in doesn’t help either. Mind you, who are we to criticise anyone? Sitting here sipping whisky in front of the fire  in the bar after a superb dinner.

Internal view of Kinloch Lodge bar
The bar

IV43 8QY         tel: 01471 833333              Kinloch Lodge

///smudges.altering.spud

 

Ordinary, Scones

Alianti Bonne Bouche

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You can probably tell that with a highfalutin name like Alianti Bonne Bouche that we are not in Scotland any more. We’re in London imposing on family. Even down here though the name is a bit confusing! Bonne Bouche kind of means ‘tasty bite’. We can go with that but Alianti is Italian for ‘gliders’ … no comprendes!Internal view of Alianti in Richmond

Confusion

Actually this place is confusing and it’s not just the name. There are no toilet or hand washing facilities and in our old fashioned naive  kind of way we thought that that wasn’t allowed these days. An enquiry about these facilities elicits a brusque “don’t have any” from the unsurprisingly surly and cross legged staff. Things were not getting off to the best of starts. There were two scones on the counter and that was it. She said “we don’t have cream but there’s strawberry jam. Would we like that?” Rather than just have a dry scone we replied in the affirmative. Then she added “There’s butter as well. Would we like that?” Boy, they really know how to show people a good time down here! To be fair, she did offer to toast the scones which was great because they looked at least a couple of days old.

External view of Alianti in Richmond
Paved Court leads to Ted Lasso’s flat and the pub used in the TV series

On the upside, it was a lovely day so we sat out in Paved Court which isn’t a ‘court’, more a narrow  little lane that runs down the side of the cafe. Is there no end to the confusion? A scone at Alianti in RichmondFrom a sconological point of view, suffice to say that this experience was just a whisker short of catastrophic. The coffee was nice but other than that there was nothing to commend it. If we were ever to return they would have to drop the ‘bonne bouche’ and have a large illuminated sign advertising their brand spanking new toilets. We are not holding our breath!.

She asked!

Our sojourn at Alianti was actually very enjoyable. Nothing to do with the fare we are served but a lot to do with the two ladies sitting at the next table. They were great fun! One was from Germany but had spent most of her life in the US. She was keen to know why Scotland wanted to separate from England. So many reasons … where to start?

Internal view of Alianti in Richmond
Interior of Alianti

Norway has just published that they expect to get £120 billion in tax revenues from North Sea oil in 2023. Scotland has the same amount of oil but gets nothing … it all goes to Westminster. They then waste it on vanity projects in London. Then there’s the lies. Not little porky pie type lies but great big humungous lies. Obviously not big enough to embarrass Boris Johnson, no lies are that big but big nevertheless!

In 2014 we had the referendum on Scottish independence. We were told then that there was only a dribble of oil left. Hardly enough to last the year. Never mind the green issues, a couple of weeks ago Rishi Sunak issued 100 brand new drilling licences with hundreds more to follow. There’s loads of oil! In 2014 we were told that the only way Scotland could stay in the EU was to stick with England. Two years later Brexit ensured that Scotland was dragged, kicking and screaming, out of the EU.

Two Carron K6s with Ted Lasso's pub in the background
At the other end of Paved Court, two cast iron telephone kiosks made in Falkirk with Ted Lasso’s pub in the background,

Also, never mind that Scotland has a devolved government that wants independence or that almost all the Westminster MPs who represent Scotland also want independence, it doesn’t make the slightest difference. All the important powers are retained by England. We could have gone on: the BBC, monarchy, land ownership, the Barnett formula but by this time she was wishing she had never asked!

Morality?

Economics are all well and good but for us it’s simply a moral question. Why should one country be able to deny another country the right to determine its own future. It’s equivalent to Canada having to ask permissions from the US. Canadians would tolerate that for slightly less than a split nanosecond! 

We bade farewell to our new enlightened friends and headed off in search of a real bonne bouche!

TW9 1NF      tel: 020 8332 2001         Alianti

///saying.sport.manliness

Ordinary, Scones

The Riverside

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We’re at the Riverside today because we are following Forth Valley Artbeat trail which is a kind of open house for local artists. It happens for one week every year. First we went to see Archie Scott at his woodturning studio in Bannockburn.Spalted beech bowl by Archie ScottWe bought this beautiful little bowl which he had made out of rotten wood. Actually, it’s not as bad as it sounds. Once the tree has died fungi colonise the wood and extract nutrients from it, leaving behind dark lined patterns. The process is called spalting and our bowl is made of spalted beech wood. Archie was a lovely guy and spent ages with us explaining everything he does, it was absolutely fascinating

Harry

After our woodturning experience we carried on to Dunblane where there were more studios to visit. Before that, of course some lunch was called for and that’s how we ended up here at the Riverside. Originally it was the Stirling Arms built in1770. Robert Burns stayed here in 1787and wrote the poem ‘My Harry Was A Gallant Gay‘, It’s about HIghland Harry’s association with the local laird’s daughter, Jeannie Gordon. Nowadays, however, with Harry, Duke of Suffolk’s ongoing legal battles, we think the title might be problematic.Internal view of the Riverside in Dunblane

Pat and I usually share almost everything. Today however we are taking it a stage further and splitting everything three ways with one of our neighbours who had come with us. To stretch the tolerance of the Riverside even further we decided to do a three way split on two scones … their last fruit scone and a plain one. The staff were very understanding … everything we got came with three plates.

It was a very hot day so we sat outside on the balcony overlooking the the river, the Allan Water. Thank goodness there was a large canopy to provide shade.

The balcony at the Riverside in Dunblane

The scones were quite big and came with jam and the ubiquitous Roddas Cornish clotted cream. A scone at the Riverside in DunblaneThey were very enjoyable but half way through I decided to top up my tea from the teapot. I forgot to use the strainer which was right in front of me and ended up with lots of tealeaves in my cup. Our neighbour immediately sprang into action offering to ‘read my leaves’. Goodness, we’ve been neighbours for over forty years and we had no idea she was into tasseography. Just when you thought you knew someone!

It’s all in the detail

Apparently, I am going on a long journey over water amongst many other things. She was having difficulty, however, with detail because the tealeaves were too big. Turns out the tea supplier also provides Riverside with our favourite coffee. We have reported the matter and they have promised to get scissors and cut each leaf in half. Perhaps it was fortuitous that  more detail was not forthcoming. Anyway, although our scones were lovely they weren’t topscones. But if you are looking for somewhere to chill in lovely surroundings and with good food and good service, look no further than the Riverside.

The balcony at the Riverside in Dunblane

Fun guys

A few yards further up the High Street from Riverside is Balhaldie House where Bonnie Prince Charlie stayed as he led his army south in his bid to regain the throne for his dad.  Six months later the Duke of Cumberland was riding past Balhaldie in hot pursuit of the retreating Prince. A pot of boiling oil was thrown from an upstairs window at Balhaldie by a serving lass who had taken a wee fancy to the bonnie Prince. The Duke fell off his horse but no one was seriously hurt. It does show, however, that you can’t be too careful when you make more than political enemies. Just ask Boris Johnson or Donald Trump. Perhaps they should consider a stay at the nearby Dunblane’s Hydro Hotel. The medicinal baths are supposed to calm the nerves of the “worried well”.

FK15 0AA.        tel: 01786 823318          The Riverside

///quit.generated.comical

Ordinary, Scones

Aroma Café

You all know what it’s like, don’t you? You are in a restaurant having afternoon tea and when you go to settle the bill, they say “That’s okay, it’s all paid for!” Well maybe not, but that’s what happened to us here at the Aroma Café in Biggar. A friend had sent us a card when we were celebrating our recent wedding anniversary saying he had booked an afternoon tea for us in this café.  He was our best man fifty years ago but he has a well deserved reputation for being uncontactable and  just a bit random. We weren’t too sure what was booked and what wasn’t. Anyway, hurrah for best men, we love them!Internal view of Aroma, Biggar

Becky was then looking after us and she was great. Our afternoon tea was in front of us almost immediately. afternoon tea at Aroma, BiggarWhat a lot there was! The plates were groaning with goodies! Sausage rolls, quiches, various sandwiches, loads of cakes and, of course, plain as well as fruit scones. We knew right away that we would be defeated by this feast. And so it was!

A scone at Aroma, BiggarWe munched our way through most of the bottom layer but when it came to the scones we had to share one. They were big! We have nothing against big scones, per se, but we do think that they should be relatively small when part of an afternoon tea. Makes sense don’t you think? Anyway, by the time we finished we felt pleasantly stuffed. Thoroughly enjoyed our visit to Aroma Café and made a mental note to revisit this part of the world sometime soon.

Days gone bye

I used to come to Biggar quite a lot when I was Secretary of the STOWA (Scottish Tug-of-War Association) for many years. At that time the world tug-of-war champions  at 640kgs (Tinto TOWC) were from here. Now, apparently the local ladies team has just qualified for the upcoming Royal Highland Show Young Farmers competition. An event that Pat and I used to judge. Good to hear that the sport is still alive and well in the area.

Biggar is set amidst beautiful rolling countryside and still maintains that old market town feel. The town’s slogan encapsulates a slightly independent and defiant air.

“New York is big, but this is Biggar”

After we left Aroma Café we walked along the High Street but it was so hot that we eventually gave up and retreated to the aircon comfort of the car for a leisurely drive home.

A lane in Biggar
A typical little lane off the High Street
Do we care?

While we have been having afternoon tea it has all been going on! Boris and Rishi have fallen out big time about Boris’s Honours List. A huge Parliamentary investigation has found, surprise, surprise, that Boris is a stranger to the truth. The good news is that Boris has also resigned as an MP. Also Donald Trump was arrested and appeared in court  in Miami. Here in Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon, former First Minister was also arrested then released. Silvio Berlusconi died. Manchester City FC won some stuff and Novak Djokovic has won even more stuff. Do the good folks of Biggar care about any of this? We suspect not.

ML12 6DH        tel: 01899 220009      Aroma Café TA

///respect.eager.challenge

Scones, topweird

Greens at the Courthouse

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Although this post comes from Greens at the Courthouse in Dornoch our target destination for today was the little village of Embo in Sutherland and yet another beach.

The beach at Embo
Part of the beach at Embo

In 1245 the Battle of Embo took place here between the Scots and the Vikings. Honestly, if you have to have a battle this is a great place to have one … there must have been a lot of kicking sand in faces. And in 1988, without a drop of blood being shed, Embo declared itself independent from the rest of the UK. They even issued their own currency, the Cuddie (two Cuddies to the Pound). Okay it was only for one day and it was to raise funds to create a community centre. Scotland could learn a thing or two from Embo but, of course, our currency is destined to be the smackeroonie!

Sconeless Granny?

Embo is where Grannie’s Heilan’ Hame is and if ever there was a place guaranteed to provide a good scone this has to be it … surely? The granny in question was Kate Mackay who, in 1952, went to live in Boston USA. The well known song reflects on visits to her Embo home. To hear a rousing version click here.

   Where the heather bells are blooming, just outside Grannie’s door,
   Where as laddies there we played, in days of long ago.
   ‘Neath the shadow of Ben Braggie and Golspie’s lordly stane.
   How I wish that I could see my Grannie’s Hielan’ Hame.

Grannie's Heilan' Hame in Embo
Grannie’s Heilan’ Hame is now much extended at the centre of a huge caravan park

When we went to the restaurant to ask if they had any scones or cakes we were informed “No the closest we would have to scones or cakes is toast“… what? Don’t think granny would have been too happy about that. Crest fallen we retreated a mile down the beach to Dornoch and Greens at the Courthouse.

A pirate ship in Embo
Before leaving Embo we managed to board a pirate ship … mega exciting!
The milkman

We were here in 2017 when it was called the Carnegie Courthouse. Apparently the combined problems of Brexit and COVID were too much for the previous owners. Since earlier this year it is under new management. Still looks pretty much the same with its large painting on the back wall of the courthouse in action. Madonna had her son, Rocco, christened directly across the street in Dornoch Cathedral and then got married to Guy Ritchie the following day in nearby Skibo Castle. They are both featured as well as a host of other celebrities including the local milkman.Internal view of Greens at the Courthouse

If you remember, our previous scone was at the Rosemarkie Beach Cafe and it was white chocolate and cranberry. Here it was white chocolate and cherry. Is there  a white chocolate theme going on up here in the Highlands? 

Premierships measured in scones

We’ve actually had a few other Dornoch scones at Gordon House and Dornoch Castle but back, when we were last here in late 2017, we were contemplating how many more scones we could write before Theresa May’s eventual demise. She was definitely on a shaky peg at that time but nevertheless she lasted longer than expected largely because there was no one of any merit to follow her. Boris Johnson amply proved that point by following her! Likewise he lasted longer than expected because there still wasn’t anyone of merit in the Tory party but eventually he became too much an embarrassment even for them. He was followed by Liz Truss and we only managed to write one scone before she was out on her ear after a couple of weeks. She will always be remembered as the proud owner of that record … One Scone Liz.

A scone at Greens at the CourthouseOur scone fell into the weird scone category but was really good. Even Pat, definitely sceptical at first, ended up heaping praise on it. She wouldn’t normally contemplate anything to do with cherries. I always have to eat the cherry on top of her empire biscuits. That’s fairly typical of the hardships we endure together. A topweird scone was eventually awarded … well done Greens at the Courthouse.

We paid for our scone contactless but can’t wait to pay for them in smackeroonies! 

IV25 3SD       tel: 01862 811241        Greens at the Courthouse

///slacker.estuaries.flipping

 

island, Scones, Top

Busta House Hotel

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After an overnight ferry crossing, here we are in Shetland. We have long promised ourselves a visit but things have always got in the way. Not this time though, we are here … yeah! We will be staying in Lerwick, the capital, but a booking for tea and scones at Busta House Hotel meant that we couldn’t hang around there long. We had to get to the town of Brae and it was a wee bit away.

External view of Busta House HotelShetland has had the worst snow it has experienced in over twenty years. Normally the Gulf Stream protects it from such weather. As we drove to Brae it was obvious just how bad it had been. There were remnants everywhere and by the side of the road the snow was still quite deep in places. We were happy to have missed the worst of it.

Inheritance

Builder of Busta HouseThomas Gifford, Shetland’s wealthiest resident built Busta House in 1748. He had 14 children, including 4 sons. Unfortunately all were lost when they set off by boat to visit friends on the other side of the bay. It was a fine May evening, the boat was found undamaged with all their belongings but they had all vanished. A long running legal battle over inheritance that lasted 93 years eventually bankrupted the entire family.

Internal view of Busta House Hotel
the Long Room. The large cupboard on the left houses a huge selection of whiskies

In 1960 Queen Elizabeth II took tea in the Long Room where we are today. Since her visit they have, no doubt, been eagerly awaiting ours.

A scone at Busta House HotelAfter a very warm welcome we were soon settled in a large window seat to await our scones. They came beautifully presented with everything needed in the way of butter, jam and cream. The scone was warm and just the way we like them. The first topscone we’ve had in ages … hurrah! As we sat there, however, thinking how fantastic it was to be here we became aware of what sounded like a right old rumpus happening  outside.

500 sheep
Viking invasion at Busta House Hotel
Invading Vikings and Duane, the Jarl

Actually it was not so much a rumpus more a full scale invasion … an invasion of Vikings! We were aware of Brae holding the final Up Helly Aa of the season but we didn’t expect this! The hotel is pretty much in the middle of nowhere so where had they all come from? Anyway they were all given a dram and this seemed to completely nullify any raping and pillaging tendencies. They were the friendliest, happiest bunch of people you could ever hope to meet. Pat met Jimmy Johnston. who had asked if he could have his picture taken with her??  Then tried to impress her by pointing to the massive shed on the hill that had 500 of his wintering sheep in it. He also seemed to own most of the land round about the hotel. Yes, she was impressed but probably more by the warmth of his company … he was brilliant!

Vikings
A fierce Viking, a trainee Viking and Pat with her pet Viking, Jimmy Johnstone

They brought their own music and there was much singing and dancing! Magic!

Later we went to the Galley shed in Brae where they had prepared a galley for Up Helly Aa.The Galley and the torches

The Galley Shed

There Pat met Eddie Thompson who couldn’t do enough for us. In 1995 he had been a Jarl (chieftain) himself.

Pat with Eddie Thompson
Eddie with Pat and Eddie as the much feared Ivar The Boneless in 1995

He showed us round the Galley Shed and even took us to the store where all of the 400 torches were waiting to be collected. There was an almost overpowering smell of paraffin so no naked lights here!

Logo of Frankie's fish and chip shopHe advised us that if we wanted anything to eat we should walk along to Frankies because it would be closing soon. Frankie’s has won Best Fish and Chip Shop in the World and we can understand why. Probably the best fish supper we have ever had! With full tummies we returned to the Galley Shed where Eddie made us some very welcome coffees. What a guy! Everyone is so friendly up here! And then it all started!

The start of the Delting Up Helly Aa
Spectators watch lighting the torches

 

Start of the Delting Up Helly Aa procession
Perfect day

We were blown away by the the sheer happiness of this event. The whole community had made huge efforts to ensure its success. We asked Eddie if Health & Safety ever got involved. He said they didn’t but that everyone knew that the slightest mishap could result in 400 years of history being lost. Everyone was very careful. The procession made its way around to the other side of the bay where the galley was launched into the sea and all the torches were thrown into it while it drifted away. Quite a spectacle! Perfect day, a topscone, new friends and an Up Helly Aa! And we’ve only just arrived!

The Delting Up Helly Aa
Across the bay, the procession arrives at the launch point for the galley

Today, Boris Johnson is trying to justify himself to the House of Commons. He along with his Tory party have proved over recent years that all that’s required to be Prime Minister of the UK is a pulse. Wonder what our Vikings would make of him? Think we know!

ZE2 9QN       tel: 01806 522 506     Busta House

///zones.denoting.collision

Ordinary, Scones

Delivino

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Today we are at Delivino in Auchterarder but normally you would find us at its sister restaurant, Canada Wood. It’s only a short walk from our house. They also have the original Delivino in Crieff which opened in 2006. It’s always a good sign when you see restaurants like this expanding. Usually, it means they’re getting things right.Logo of Delivino, Auchterarde
 
We like Canada Wood and have reviewed it three times but so far a topscone has eluded them. This Auchterarder venture opened in 2014 so maybe they would be better here? Their blurb says they “champion the sound food philosophy of Spain, Italy and southern France” … no mention of scones? However, they do have a lovely selection of wines from all of these countries.
 
Wonky Scottish weather
You know you are in Auchterarder, home of Gleneagles Hotel, when you look down the street and every second parked car is a Range Rover, many with horse boxes attached. At Delivino we were welcomed in out of the rain which, so far, had been making the day very Scottish. Having said that the weather for November, has been unusually mild. Not quite t-shirt weather but definitely unseasonably warm. COP27 in Egypt is supposed to restore our weather to it its normal Scottishishness but so far all we have heard is the usual platitudes they trotted out last year at COP26 in Glasgow. In the meantime it looks like Scotland, for the foreseeable future, might become more Mediterraneanish. “Taps aff”, all year?
 
A scone at Delivini, AuchterarderAfter an absolutely delicious lunch we had ordered a fruit scone to share. It came with two plates. Always good when you don’t have to ask for another plate when you are sharing. Cream, however, wasn’t and option and the jam was English and the butter was Irish?? We won’t bore you with our comments about that, you already know! The scone itself was actually very good but considering everything else, it definitely fell short of a topscone.
 
Internal view of Delivino, Auchterarde
Records broken left right and centre
We are now on our third Prime Minister this year! They should fit No10 with a revolving door! Hopes were high that it would be third time lucky but no. This government is proving to be just as chaotic as the previous ones. In a previous post from the Cross Keys in Kelso we said Suella Braverman was the shortest serving  Home Secretary ever. She managed to get sacked for security breaches after just 43 days. That claim has since been overtaken by Grant Schapps who managed only six days before being replaced by, you’ll never guess … Suella Braverman. In the past week she has managed to make over three thousand immigrants vanish into tin air from the Manston processing centre. What a woman!
 
Gavin Williamson  lasted almost two weeks as Minister without Portfolio (is that really a job?). He had already been sacked by both Boris Johnson and Theresa May. Liz Truss would probably have hired him and sacked him as well if she had held her post as PM long enough.  In spite of sacking him, Boris gave Gavin a knighthood … brilliant! And the former Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, is now in the Australian jungle munching witchetty grubs … business as usual at Westminster then!
Topnotch

Okay the scone at Delivino wasn’t quite topnotch but everything else was. We are looking forward to visiting the Crieff venue in the not too distant future.

PH3 1DF      tel: 01764 660033       Delivino

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Ordinary, Scones

Cafe Tiki

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Logo of the Sensory CentreYou know how it is … you drive past a place on a regular basis and every time you do you think “I wonder what that place does?” but you never actually make the effort to find out. That’s how it was with this place, Forth Valley Sensory Centre. Barely half a mile from where we live yet it was a complete mystery. Logo of Cafe TikiThe name, of course, kind of suggests help for those with impaired senses but it doesn’t give that much away. Today we decided to find out what it was all about.From the main road you don’t see that much of it but it’s actually quite big and very modern. And to top off our surprises, it has a cafe, Cafe Tiki … excellent!

Wellbeing

The Centre provides services for those who are deaf or hard of hearing as well as those who are blind or partially sighted. It also seems to provide services across a huge area including Clackmannanshire and Stirling. It has over 30 groups, classes and activities  to improve the wellbeing of folks with compromised sensory conditions. They’ve even got a Sensory Garden but the weather today meant it wasn’t a day for exploring that. Technically there is nothing wrong with our senses. We know that many of you might disagree with that but we did wonder, in these circumstances,  what sort of reception we would get. No problem, we were welcomed with open arms. Under interrogation though we did confess to an excessive-fondness for scones. And that’s when they directed us their scone treatment centre … Cafe Tiki.Internal view of Cafe Tiki

It was mid afternoon and it was about to close so we had the whole place to ourselves. We were looked after by a very friendly lady (she was from Glasgow so, of course, she was friendly) who informed us that there was only one single scone left.Scones at Cafe Tiki “That’ll do” we said “we’ll share it“. She disappeared behind a screen and before you could say Jack Flash she was back with the scone. It was already divided into two and loaded with jam and cream … argh! Not to worry, the intention was good. And it wasn’t as if she could give us another one.

Cooking blind

We sat at a table adjacent to the counter and our lady proceeded to chat to us the whole time we were there. She informed us that one of their chefs is deaf and completely blind. Can’t really imagine that! We were quite enjoying our scone but she said that someone else baked them. This was not a topscone by quite a way but we really enjoyed being here and finding out about all these valuable services.

During the course of our cafe chat we did at least learn how to ask for the essential accoutriments for a scone in sign language.Sign language at the Sensory Centre

Prime Ministers in record numbers

Perhaps, since this is a sensory centre we should have mentioned our rather painful sensitivity to recent political news. Could they desensitise us? Too late, the news has just come in that  Rishi Sunak is to  be the next British PM. There have been 58 British Prime Ministers … three of them have been in the last seven weeks. At this rate we might even reach 100 by the 2024 General Election. External view of Cafe Tiki

Of course, Rishi is merely leader of the Conservative Party at the moment. In true British obfuscatory style, there’s only one man in Britain that can appoint a new PM. That’s King Charles III and  Sunak will be his first. In her 70 years on the throne the Queen had 15 Prime Ministers but, unbelievably, the way things are going, Charles could beat that record.  Unless Keir Starmer can nobble the King, or Liz refuses to come out of the cupboard under No10’s stairs, Rishi should be PM by tomorrow.  He will be the 10th conservative PM in a row that Scotland hasn’t voted for… isn’t that great!Internal view of the Sensory Centre

Perhaps the value of the Sensory Centre is best summed up by one of the volunteers “it gets me out of the house and allows the person that I am picking up to get out as well. When they turn around to me and say they’ve had a great day, it makes my day knowing I have helped”.

FK1 4DD          tel: 01324 590888          Sensory Centre

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Ordinary, Scones, weird

Cross Keys Hotel

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Since we are here at the Cross Keys Hotel in Kelso, we thought we should talk about keys. Have you ever wondered why so many pubs and hotels are called the Cross Keys? Well, apparently it’s all to do with the keys to the kingdom of Heaven and crossed keys were the emblem of St Peter. Doubtless, for many of the customers of these places, it would feel like the closest to heaven they would ever get. Though why Heaven should need keys in the first place raises all sorts of other questions. But one thing is for certain! Whoever receives the keys to No 10 Downing Street in the next few days will be receiving the keys to Hell. Not sure why Hell would actually need keys either but you catch our drift.

Logo of the Cross Keys Hotel, KelsoSomeone let Liz out of the cupboard under the stairs and that signalled the end of her 44 day reign as Prime Minister. The shortest tenure in history for any British PM. It came as no surprise to anyone and many would say it wasn’t short enough. We know the brand new Chancellor, who has been in post for just a little more than a week has the keys to No 11 but no idea who will have them next week. 

All this follows Suella Braverman’s resignation. You’ll remember Suella was the only woman on earth who could make Priti Patel seem warm and cuddly. Anyway, at 43 days she became the shortest ever serving Home Secretary. Realising that Liz’s government was in terminal decline she actually manufactured her own sacking.  What a mess!  “You couldn’t make it up“, is no longer merely a flippant remark. To make matters worse Boris Johnson is threatening a glorious return. Boris won’t need keys!  In true Boris style he undoubtedly had copies made before he left Downing Street in the full and certain knowledge (in his own delusional head) that he would be back.Internal view of the Cross Keys Hotel, Kelso

Lucky dip

We think they should just take all the keys and put them in a hat for a lucky dip. Since things couldn’t get any worse It would seem only fair that, the now famous iceberg lettuce that outlasted Liz, is allowed a go at the lucky dip as well.

Take it or leave it

A scone at the Cross Keys Hotel, KelsoAnyway we mustn’t go on about about this too much … or should we? No, let’s get on to matters of more substance …. scones. We arrived at the impressive Italianate Cross Keys Hotel quite late in the day. Guess what, they were sold out of all scones except white chocolate. Not exactly what we would have chosen however white chocolate it had to be. Kelso has survived remarkably well through the ages in spite of continuous wars with England. The hotel was the resting place for pilgrims coming to the Abbey so it  suffered badly in 1545 during the “Rough Wooing” when the English blew it up.  Subsequently the hotel became a coaching inn that ran services to Newcastle and Edinburgh three times a week.

Market Square, Kelso
View of The Square from the Cross Keys

The white chocolate scones were surprisingly nice, we were very pleasantly surprised. Not topscones in the style of Schloss Roxburghe but enjoyable nevertheless. By the time you get our next scone report we will have a new leader and maybe even an entirely new government team. Fingers crossed for the lettuce!

TD5 7H.       tel: 01573 223303          Cross Keys

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